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“So…” Steve trailed off, hunched over the counter beside her. Robin had been waiting for this since she got in the car on the way to their shift. He’d spent the last two hours puttering around, meticulously straightening cases, vacuuming with vigour, and being the first to rush to the few customers who found their way in on that sticky hot Wednesday morning.
It was what Steve always did when he had something to talk to her about but didn’t know how to say it. He’d be so stressed on how to phrase something big so he avoids it by doing anything else until he bursts. The first time he did it was telling her he’d accidentally ruined her favourite Blondie tape. He’d already bought her a replacement, but that didn’t shake his guilt enough. The second time was when he had to tell her he’d spotted Vickie making out with her ex when she and Robin had been going steady for a month and a half.
There had been a few times since then. She wondered where on the spectrum of ‘aw Steve that’s quite literally not an issue’ to ‘dear god Steve thanks for trying to avoid emotional devastation but this is the worst non-supernatural thing to ever happen to me’ this conversation would lie. The way he wasn’t looking at her nudged it more toward the latter. “You know how you’re gay?”
Well. Alright. “Yes, Steve. I’m aware of it.”
He started to pick at his cuticles, a bad habit she’d accidentally mind-melded over to him. “Well, have you ever thought a guy was hot?”
“No, Steve. That’s what the whole gay thing means.”
He nodded, fiddling with a hangnail of his own design. “Right. Yeah. Of course.” He gave a single nervous laugh. “And you know how I’m straight?”
She nodded slowly, looking at the side of his head, where his eyes would be if he just looked at her. “Yes, boobies. I know.”
“Well. Okay. So. Hypothetically. If I were to, you know, find a guy attractive. Would that be gay?”
She took a breath. This was not what she was expecting from this conversation. Of course, at that moment the tinny bell over the door rang. She cursed under her breath. Why couldn’t have at least been one of their low-maintenance customers? “Hi, Mrs Peterson! I’ll be right over.” She squeezed Steve’s wrists in a way she knew he’d find at least slightly comforting. “It’s all okay. I’ll be right back.”
She really did try to be right back, but this lady can’t read the movie descriptions so she needs someone to do it for her. Which would be fine, except she also wants to hear about multiple movies. By the time Robin reads off the 3rd case, she’s forgotten the first. She watched Steve out of the corner of her eye. He was straightening the candy counter. He’d already straightened it half an hour ago. And an hour before that. No one had even bought any candy.
After five minutes Robin had talked her into Pretty and Pink. This was actually the third fastest they’ve ever been able to get her out the door, but it wasn’t nearly quick enough. The second the door was safely shut and the room was otherwise empty, she was back at his side, close enough that their arms could touch. He looks at her with a shy smile. “Okay. So. Hypothetically. An attractive boy. Is this attractive as in how anyone with eyes and any sexuality would think Tony Danza is nice to look at? Or, you know, more like attractive as in you maybe want to kiss him.”
He takes a shuddering breath, looking away once more. “The second one.”
She nods though she knows he’s not looking. “Okay. Well. That is kind of gay, Steve.”
He picks so hard she takes mental stock of how many bandaids are left in the little store first aid kit. “But I…but I’ve always liked girls.”
“Well, yes that’s true.” The fact is, Robin didn’t know a ton about other gay people. But Vickie did once flip through a zine she’d picked up secretly from a little bookstore in the city. She read it so closely it imprinted on her brain. She doesn’t know a lot. But this? This was in the zine. “Some people can like both.”
Finally, he looked at her. His beautiful thick eyebrows pinched together. “Wait, really? That’s an option.”
“I mean, yeah. We’ve seen way crazier things than people who like both boobies and…” She tried to think of something attractive about a man that Steve could possibly dig “Adam’s apples.” Nailed it.
“Adam’s Apples?” One of those eyebrows (which, really, Jonathan should probably have put in his photography portfolio by now) raised now. Okay. So maybe not nailed it.
“I don’t know. Penis or whatever.” Steve snorts. “But it’s totally a thing. I’m pretty sure it’s called being bisexual.”
“That sounds like a made-up word.” Steve mumbles.
“It is, Steve. All words are made up. But it’s what people are calling it.” She scanned through the article in her brain. “You know Freddie Mercury?” He stared at her blankly. “Queen? The singer guy?” Steve let out a long oh. “He’s a bisexual. He’s said so.”
His eyebrows knit back together. “So…he’s a bisexual. And he’s still in like, one of the biggest bands there is.”
“Yeah.”
“And people still like him.”
She would not mention the pastor at church bringing up queers and devil music in church that week, “Everyone who matters likes Queen, yeah.”
Just then, the bell tinged. She was ready to offer Steve more comfort (less so considering the hint of a smile on his still-tense face) but she paused when she actually noticed who it was. Eddie Munson, clad in an old band shirt of some sort with the arms so torn off that the still healing scars on his ribs could be spotted. She always thought his hair looked nice when he put it off, even if it was clearly because he was sweating his balls off.
Dustin trailed after, a smile on his face as he rambled about something or another, but for the moment she zeroed in on the man who had cut his jean shorts just slightly unevenly. “Hey, Eddie! You’re the second most opinionated person I’ve ever met. What do you think of Freddie Mercury.”
He grinned in his catlike way. “Who’s the first?”
“Erica.” She said point blank.
Everyone nodded with an ah. “Fair. I think Queen is one of those rare bands that is actually popular because they’re just that good, Freddie is a master of blending genres, which includes metal by the way, and while him getting the band to do drag in that one music video isn’t metal, it is really cool.”
Robin gave a sweeping gesture towards the metalhead. “See? Everyone who matters likes Freddie Mercury.”
“Did you know he can sing four octaves? It’s more than basically any singer. It’s cause he was born with extra teeth.” Dustin points out.
“Exactly my point, my fine fuzzy friend.” Eddie and Dustin scampered off to the action section. She turned to Steve, ready to offer further ‘See! It’s all okay! How exciting is this!’ When his expression stopped her in her tracks. Jaw slack. Pupils huge. Licking his pretty boy lips as his gaze followed the metalhead... “Oh. Oh!”
“What?” He asked, slowly turning his head back to her.
“Is the hypothetical attractive man…” She trailed off, nudging her head towards where laughs could be heard.
Steve licked his lips again took a shaky breath and then smiled. “Yeah.” His eyebrows shot up. “Wait, Robin, I have no idea how to tell if guys are gay. I’ve only ever studied girls for you.”
For half a second, she contemplated if it was chill for her to tell Steve what she knew. She immediately decided that she shouldn’t tell Steve what she learned about Eddie in the late-night chat she’d had with the guy last month. But in the name of love, she’d compromise. “Remind me to explain hanky code to you later. The evidence is there.”
Did she know hanky code? Absolutely not. The zine didn’t really get into it. But she knows that the black bandanna Eddie has hanging out of his back pocket means something.
He leaned in further. “But how do I know that he actually, you know, likes me? Like that?”
Had she talked about this with Eddie? No. She’d sort of forgotten that it was possible for other people could be into Steve. Not anything against him, but kinda like how you forget someone probably thinks your math teacher is hot. Or maybe not like that at all but whatever. But since it hadn’t occurred to her before she scanned through her memories of Eddie and Steve being in the same space and “You know how you’d flirt with a girl you like? Like that but even more lame.”
Steve looks confused for only half a second before a smirk starts to show up. “Oh.”
“How’s the crisis going?”
“Crisis over.”
Robin smirks. “Cool. Dude, I’m so excited for us to talk about gay stuff but right now, have fun being bisexual.” She squeezes his bicep before scooting around the counter. “Hey, Dustin! We finally got Critters in! You’ve gotta check out the poster!”
“Oh shit! Why didn’t you start with that!” She hears right before pounding feet head her way. “I’ve been waiting weeks!”
She shoots Steve a quick wink before pulling Dustin to the other end of the store. She only clearly hears “Hey, Eds! You doing anything tomorrow night?” before she’s pulled into an actually kind of interesting conversation about how the guy who voiced the critters made up a language for them with elements of French and Japanese.
She didn’t mind missing out on eavesdropping, Steve would spill everything at the soonest available opportunity. For now, she kept Dustin distracted as Good Old-Fashioned Loverboy played on a loop in her head.