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“How much?” Tony asked, keeping the ache out of his voice with long practice. People like him weren’t allowed to show weakness. A pawnshop owner in Kathmandu probably wouldn’t be the sort to use it against him, but if Tony let the mask crack now, a part of him feared he’d never be able to put it back together.
Not after a wound like this.
Stephen leaving had hurt. This though—Stephen’s engagement ring, sold to the highest bidder and now held in the hand of a stranger—this was going to kill him.
“87,700 Rupee,” the pawnshop owner said, english accented heavily. The pawnshop owner had clearly pegged him as rich and was overcharging. A lot. Not that the ring wasn’t expensive and worth the cost, but pawnshops tended to sell at a fraction of the cost. Tony didn’t care; he forked over the money he’d made sure to have on hand when he’d realized he’d be making a pawnshop visit. The pawnshop owner handed over the ring, the chain Stephen had put it on dangling from it.
Tony took it, hand trembling just slightly despite his best efforts.
Stephen’s engagement ring had shown up on FRIDAY’s scanners while she’d been searching for signs of Stephen after they’d tracked his flight to Nepal. Tony stared down at the ring, the soft silver-white of the metal familiar in his hand. Emotion tangled in his throat, threatening to choke him.
Tony had carried this ring around in his pocket for three years. The weight had grown familiar, almost comforting. In this moment it felt strangely lighter than it ever had before. The weight of empty promises, if Tony had to give a reason for it.
He rubbed his finger over the metal, cool against the pad of his finger. He’d made this ring using the palladium from the core of his first arc reactor, mixing the palladium with white gold and engraving a promise of forever on the inside. It had felt right, then, to use the palladium that had once tried—and failed—to kill him. Because when Tony had been dying it had been Stephen that had saved him—not from the poisoning itself, Tony had that honor, though Stephen had helped, but from the despair that had been just as poisonous and would have killed him just as quickly.
The choice of metal had felt like a symbol of what they’d overcome, of what Stephen had saved him from. It had felt like a promise that there was nothing they wouldn’t overcome. Nothing they wouldn’t be able to save each other from.
It had felt right.
Of course, being Tony, even after making it, it had taken him three years to gather the courage to actually ask Stephen to marry him, always waiting for the right time. And, of course, even after three years, his timing had still been absolutely terrible. They’d just survived Killian and his living bombs and Tony had been minutes away from going into surgery to get the shrapnel removed and… and Tony had had hope in the future like he hadn’t had in years and… and he’d wanted that future to include Stephen.
He’d wanted it so badly.
He’d thought Stephen had wanted it, too.
Tony could remember the way Stephen had laughed when Tony had admitted how long he’d been carrying the ring around, but Tony hadn’t really been able to mind when Stephen had been smiling down at the ring, rubbing his thumb over the metal like it was precious.
When he had looked up and had looked at Tony like he was precious.
Tony’s chest ached.
What an idiot he’d been.
What a damn idiot to think Stephen loved him. To think that…
He said yes, his heart whispered, a desperate death cry of his hopes and dreams. He said yes. He loved you.
Tony laughed bitterly under his breath. He had the evidence in his hand and yet he still tried to lie to himself. He brought the chain up, clasping it around his neck. The ring settled on his chest, the white-silver glinting under the yellow lights of the pawnshop. Only a few days ago it had hung from Stephen’s neck the exact same way before Stephen had sold it.
Sold it.
Why? Tony would have given Stephen whatever money he needed. Hell, with their engagement, Tony considered what was his to be Stephen’s. It hurt. Because Tony would have given Stephen anything and instead Stephen had chosen to….
Instead Stephen had chosen this.
“Very nice,” the pawnshop owner said. “Fits you very well.”
Another laugh escaped him, just as bitter as the last. Because this ring had never been meant to fit him. This ring had been meant for Stephen. It always had been. But Stephen… “Thanks,” he told the pawnshop owner, word brittle on his tongue.
The pawnshop owner waved the money Tony had just handed over at him, an indication that it was the pawnshop owner that was grateful.
Tony couldn’t have smiled even if he’d wanted to. So he just nodded to the owner and strode out of the pawnshop into the streets of Kathmandu.
His steps faltered for a moment as he reached the street, uncertainty assaulting him. Stephen was here in the city, somewhere. Tony could find him. Tony was pretty good at finding people. FRIDAY was even better. Together they were the best.
Tony could find Stephen and beg him to come home. Could beg Stephen to not give up on them. Could beg Stephen…
Except no. He swallowed hard; it felt like swallowing shards of glass.
The ring hanging from around his neck was all the answer he needed. Finding Stephen wouldn’t do any good. Stephen had made that clear more than once, now. Tony had been a little too stubborn to just accept Stephen leaving without a word, but… but Stephen selling his engagement ring worked marvelously to make the point for him.
Tony had loved Stephen for years.
He’d been such a damn idiot to think Stephen had ever loved him.
He did, whispered that quiet voice. A hollow plea, easily overwhelmed with the evidence hanging around Tony’s neck.
And yet… Tony hoped whatever Stephen had gotten from selling the ring was enough to buy him whatever miracle he had come all the way to Nepal looking for. There was nothing else that Tony could do for Stephen. Not anymore.
He could do that one last thing.
Tony had always known his love wasn’t worth very much, but maybe, just this once, it would be worth just enough.