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Mac was smoking on the rooftop when KJ got there. The curls stayed a few paces away just watching her. Mac was always her girl, sure they were all friends and KJ was close with all of the paper girls ,but there was something special when it came to Mackenzie Coyle and KJ could stare at her all day.
“You gonna come over here, or are you just gonna stand there and stare at me Brandman” Mac stood with her back facing away from KJ, she would never understand how Mac was able to know she was there, like a sixth sense. Mac could always pick up on KJ Bradman's presence.
The girl was never able to kick her smoking habit and her words came out a bit drawn as KJ walked over to her.
“Hey” Kathrine was always awkward when it came to most things, never knowing what to do with her hands or never knowing the right thing to say.
Especially when it came to cute girls,
Especially when it came to Mac Coyle.
“I missed you” she hadn’t even been gone for that long, after skipping a few days of school KJ always knew she’d find the other girl up here, on the same rooftop where KJ really understood the trajectory of her feelings for the girl standing next to her. The same rooftop she hugged her on and the same rooftop where she saw Mac cry for the first time, Almost 4 years ago
When they first got to 1994 and wouldn’t be able to leave for seven years.
“When are you coming back to school” Kathrine played with her fingers squeezing her finger in order to calm herself down, an anxiety tactic Erin taught her a few years ago
“You don’t understand Kat do you” Mac turned. Eyes rimmed red, and cigarette burning in between her fingers.
She took KJs hand and they stayed like that for a while. Mac’s hands where callused and she had dirt embedded underneath her fingernails,
they should have done this sooner,
Her hands reminded Katherine Jane of when they were young, when she would pass Mac at the end of her paper route and Mac would call her over for a smoke. Mac would smoke and KJ would watch trying her best not to cringe at the smell, Mackenzie would give her hell for that and KJ would blush. She would catch her hands out of her peripheral vision and wonder what they felt like. The 12 year old chalked it up to the fact that the other girl's hands were rougher and always tinted blue for some reason she would never understand.
Her hands reminded her of Mac’s scraped up knees. The ones where KJ would bandage up(much against the brunettes will) with hello kitty bandaids that made Mac want to scream, But she was grateful to have someone take care of her, even if that someone was Richie rich KJ Bradman.
Mackenzie taught herself how to ride a bike, when Dylan got to the age were riding bikes was uncool, Mac stole it and taught herself how to ride, it took her three weeks and a few scraped knees but she eventually got the hang of it,
Mac was quick to pick up on things,
She knew she was sick and when the diagnosis came, she didn’t bat an eye. She didn’t scream or cry or beg them to retest her, that there must have been some mistake, like KJ would do if she was in that situation.
“What do you mean?” She eyed the girl, Mac's pretty face illuminated by the sunset, casting orange shadows, lighting her face up like when KJ used to watch her light her cigarettes. Mac was perfect.
Why hadn’t she held her hand sooner.
“Come on Kat” KJ’s head tilted to the side in confusion(something Mackenzie learned to adore), she looked her in the eye trying to speak though that alone.
Kathrine Jane wasn’t that smart.
She wasn’t smart when she was in the fourth grade and she couldn’t figure out her times tables and Tiff would have to explain it four times over,
She wasn’t smart when she would nod her head along with the rest of the group when anything that had to do with time travel would come up.
She wasn’t smart when they were 15 and Mac told her they had a diagnosis, she didn’t understand how that could be, how a girl as perfect as Mackizie Coyle could get cancer and lie in a hospital bed for days on end.
And she definitely wasn’t smart when it came to love, when she didn’t crush on any of the boys in her class like Tiff and Erin did and when she would catch mac in the conner of her eye and her heart would race,
KJ Bradmen wasn’t smart. She wasn’t smart at 12 and she wasn’t smart at 16 as she stared dumbfoundedly at the girl in front of her.
“Kat, love, I’m gone.”
“No”
“Yes honey. I know its hard but you have to let me go.
“No” KJ shook her head, stuttering over her words and once again feeling small.
“That doesn't make sense your right in front of me”
“No I’m not”
And just like that Mac was gone, just like that the girl slipped through her fingers.
Mac really was gone and KJ might be losing her mind.
she shrank, she fell to the ground hugging her knees to her chest. She wished she wasn’t shaking. KJ was always shaking.
She didn’t know how long she was like that. It could have been thirty minutes, It could have been thirty days, it was all the same to Kathrine Jane.
“Kaje holy shit there you are”
Erin,
She was safe. Erin was at her side rubbing her back as a way of calming her,
It wasn’t working.
“She’s gone”
“I know”
“I loved her”
“I know”
KJ just fell into her best friend's arms and Erin wrapped her arms around her and hopefully riding some of KJ’s pain.
Erin and Tiff would never understand, they loved Mac too, but not in the way KJ did.
Mac and KJ were something different, they were something special.
“Come on Kaje, lets go inside” she just realized how dark it was, that it was pitch black outside and she was with Erin.
“Okay” her voice was shakyInside, the three girls sat around Older Tiff's white fluffy rug sharing a bottle of champagne that Older Tiff really should have hidden.
KJ told them what happened
And they just hugged her.