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Chapter Text

One moment you’re riding your mountain bike down an obscure trail, and the next you’re in Hell.

𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬.

You should’ve known you’d end up here.

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You also should’ve known that that trail was too sketchy to be good. Why’d it have to be a cliff though? You never remembered a cliff being in that brochure you read about the trail and routs to take and what not.

You remember the wind drying your skin out and making it crack. The breathlessness of falling too fast to breathe, the deafening sound of wind rushing past your ear as you hit terminal velocity. The ground coming closer and closer with each passing moment. The sickening crunch as you made contact with the ground, and then-

Nothing.

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You’re glad that you can’t remember if there was pain or not.

Well anyway, enough about you. You’re in Hell. What would your opinion matter to God when you’ve been cast down to the fiery pits of Satan’s Lands.

Why’s you end up here anyway? Aren’t people supposed to see the Pearly Gates before being cast down?

𝘎𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵.

𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘱, 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘐’𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

𝘙𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

You’ve decided to take a look around your new home, double checking the inexistence of a torture chamber, or chambers in general.

𝘠𝘦𝘱, 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦

Well, maybe not 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.

The first thing you notice is red. Red as far as the eye can see, and not the popping scarlet red like you were expecting. No, it was a deep maroon-y red, the kind of red that looks almost like drying blood. It creeps into your vision like a fog, unable to see further than a few hundred feet before the red takes over. Everything is red. The ground, the walls, the sky.

Wait, no, not sky. 𝘊𝘦𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨. It’s a ceiling, as in, underground like a cave, ceiling. A cave ceiling.

Also, the thing that really sold it, was the fire. Fire everywhere, in big and small patches. Burning infinitely against the dark red background.

𝘖𝘩 𝘎𝘰𝘥, 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭

You mourn your old life for a moment. All those good times with your friends and family, with your dog named ‘Fido’ and your fish ‘Jerry’.

You wish your dog were here.

On second thought, no, you’re 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 your dog isn’t here. Fido wouldn’t deserve this.

Ugh, and something was just in the center corner of your eye too. You ignore that for now as you look around, closer this time, and saw giant columns of lava falling from holes in the ceiling.

𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥, 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘮𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘺, 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥’𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥.

It is at this moment that you realized that you weren’t standing, but instead sitting, propped up against one of the cave walls.

𝘏𝘶𝘩.

You look down at yourself, wondering if you looked like you did in life or if you took form as a demon, or something.

𝘋𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘺 ‘𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯’ 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦.

You looked down at your apparel.

You now donned a primitive looking tunic with nothing but a belt holding it in place.

𝘈𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦, 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵? 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨

You looked further down to your legs.

All you could say was pink. 𝘗𝘪𝘯𝘬!

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘬‽

Were you perhaps a lesser version of the classic red demon that was so often depicted in media? Maybe you were a more evolved version, that would be cool. Or you could be a different species all together. You wouldn’t find out, without more investigation!

You observe your legs a little more and note the course looking hair, a slightly lighter pink than your skin. Moving on from the fleshy, but still pink, legs you look to your feet.

𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘵.

Hooves might be a better descriptor for what were once your feet. Big, black, and blocky.

You wondered if you’ll need some sort of special horseshoe to protect your new hooves from this Hellish landscape.

𝘌𝘩, 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳

Assessing the hooves closer you see that your hooves are different than that of a horse. Instead of one rounded end, they’re split, like a deer or goat.

𝘏𝘮𝘮𝘮

You squint your eyes.

It’s when you tilt your head that you feel an unusual weight to it.

You tilt your head again. The weight shifts.

Once more, you tilt your head. It shifts again.

Now for the final test!

You vigorously shake your head side to side.

The weight has no intention of dislodging, you realized.

They’re also soft, and fleshy, tapping you every time you jerked your head side to side.

𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴?

𝘛𝘶𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘴? 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘶𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘴.

It seemed like the most logical conclusion. New skin tone, clothes, hooves.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥?

They’re too soft to be horns, so there goes the demon theory. Maybe they’re your ears?

You do have cloven hooves. Maybe you're some type of deer, or goat, or cow, or something. An anthropomorphic thing.

𝘖𝘰𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘩𝘰𝘰, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸.

You grinned evilly to yourself.

𝘏𝘢! 𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴! 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵, 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘴!

It might not be the greatest or even a good win, but it’s a win regardless. You really needed one right about now.

𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘱, 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘻𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥.

You look at the ground around you for a moment and find that your hands were also hooves, noting that once again, you have course but light hair on your arms.

𝘖𝘩 𝘤’𝘮𝘰𝘯! 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘴‽ 𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘰

You try to wiggle the separate parts of your left hoof and find that you can move them to ‘grip’ something and that there’s limited side to side movement.

You pout, but then you see what looked to be a crossbow in your right “hand”.

𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴?

Where would you even get the arrows?

You decided that you don’t get paid enough for this shit and ignored it for now. You tried to set the crossbow down, but you couldn’t let go of it.

𝘞𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭.

You huff in frustration. The air got caught in the back of your throat, so it sounded more like grunt. You briefly wondered what that was about, but dismissed it almost immediately.

You flung your arm wildly, trying to dislodge it, but nothing worked.

Eventually you got so frustrated that you tried to will the crossbow away with your mind.

To your great surprise, it worked. The crossbow disappeared.

You’ve decided once again that you don’t get paid enough for this shit and chalked it up to being Hell logic, you guess.

Back to standing up.

You use your hoof-hands to push yourself up, using the wall as support. It was difficult, but with single-minded determination, you succeeded in standing on your own two feet.

𝘌𝘳, 𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴.

Seeing as slow and steady wins the race, you take a single step forward, and then a small step back, clinging to the wall for support.

𝘚𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦

You kept repeating this mantra in your head until you completed your goal.

Your goal of walking that is, not your goal of punching God in the face for this bullshit.

The second goal was decided two seconds ago.

As a joke, 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘺.

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After much walking support and slow movements with small steps, you finally got the hang of walking.

Good for you!

Deciding that’s enough practice for today, you unstuck yourself from your good friend, the wall, and became interested in the environment around you instead.

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After observing your surroundings, and leaving no stone unturned, you realized that you are, in fact, fucked.

Apparently, ending up in Hell wasn’t enough. Noo, God had to kick you down here and Satan thought it’d be funny to throw you on a cliff. But not just any cliff. No, it couldn’t be just any cliff, it just had to be a cliff surrounded by lava. Well, less a cliff, and more like a ledge, there was no wall sloping downwards. There’s ground, then there’s not. It looks like there was nothing holding your platform up but the wall you were glued to.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘮𝘦.

You pause for a moment.

𝘖𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘮𝘢, 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘐’𝘮 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘏𝘮𝘮𝘮…

Ugh, your maybe-not-a-joke about punching God is becoming more solid by the minute

You huffed in frustration again, though this time all the air was let through. No grunting at this time.

𝘞𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺.

Far off in the distance, past much of the ocean magma and occasional bit of glowing stone on the ceiling, lied something different. You could barely see it. It was still red, but a beautiful and bright red instead of the dull one your eyes have gotten used to. You almost missed it, just a sliver of crimson amongst dark maroon.

It lied to the right of the wall where you woke up. To the left, there was nothing but never-ending plains of rock. Nothing of substance anyway- like a waste land with random groupings of fire endlessly burning. The crimson intrigued you, maybe you should head that way. It would be interesting, if nothing else.

You look around your ledge for anything that could be of use for your venture.

Just as you suspected, nothing. Not even something to eat, and man were you getting hungry. You felt your stomach clench at the thought of food.

You sighed.

As you were about to turn to try and find a safe way off this ledge, you heard a noise. And not just any noise you were slowly getting used to. *𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘭𝘢𝘷𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩*. It sounded like a high pitched ‘oink’, like that of a piglet.

You whipped your head around trying to identify where it was coming from.

There it was again.

More head whipping, this time moving your body to see more. New ears whacking you in the face as you did so.

Once more, this time louder.

There, to your left.

You stumble as you rush to the sound.

𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥‽