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Rin is tired of everything right now. The U-20 match ended with Isagi Yoichi scoring, and he wishes it was him who scored the last goal in order to surpass his brother Sae Itoshi.
But Isagi stole it, it was Rin's idea to shoot the ball to its goal after he stopped Sae.
Everyone went up to Isagi Yoichi and they were all happy for him, and only notice for his talent, although he didn't do most of the work, but still, they all cheered for him.
Every single blue lock player kept complimenting one another and another for their hardworking duos, individuals and even complimenting their subs as well.
Nobody saw Rin. Nobody saw how much work he had done. He just want to be enough for his brother only.
Even in his petrified expression, Sae doesn't notice him. He only noticed Isagi Yoichi. Isagi Yoichi. The name Rin did not wanted to hear from his older brother's mouth. If he ever hear his older brother saying his name again, Rin will do nothing, but plan to get rid of Isagi in this world.
He doesn't even know anymore. He doesn't know why he is playing this kind of role. A role that everyone should notice, but Rin himself, nobody notices him at all.
It's full of exasperation.
Even the best defender in the world notices Isagi Yoichi, and handshaking him.
What is Isagi to you Aiku?
What's the point of still breathing when nobody notices you anymore?
Rin wants to stop breathing. If he tries to kill himself, probably nobody will notice, nor this brother too. The brother he loved, he wanted to stay with.
Ego gave them a two-week break from the Blue Lock program. Everyone met at Shibuya.
Sae was still in Japan and he will plan to leave and go back to Spain.
Rin thinks that there was nothing else in life he can do, cause all he did in his entire life was a joke.
So, he plans to do something nobody should ever.
...
In his room, watching horror movies and playing horror games since it's his favorite genre.
They don't seem to save him, but nothing can save him.
He can only save himself.
Rin looks at the clock, and it is 9:09pm and he thinks it's time.
He turns off the TV after finishing the horror movies he watched, even though he was halfway through the movie.
He hid a bottle of sleeping pills inside of his pillow sheets, since no one picks it up or enter in his room.
If he takes a bunch of these supplements, will this cause him to disappear forever?
...
Eh it doesn't really matter.
His hand approaches to the lid of the bottle, and slowly opens it.
But he suddenly feels a strong emotion he never felt in his entire life.
Crying. Sadness. Emotional.
A single tear falls down from his cheeks.
Done with the role he played, that made him forgot to breathe.
He has lived in his entire life, being in the wrong.
The price he had to pay for.
These innocent hopes and dreams for a brighter future to the blue lock players.
And he begs for the morning to never come.
Everything's void, It's all so empty.
He's just tired of breathing
of keeping it.
Rin is crying now. It's his first time experiencing this emotion. The first time feeling it and how it works.
He's about to put his life to an end, his life was like a theatre.
Sobbing "I'm here."
He's sobbing really hard.
A voice echoed in his head.
"I beg you, notice me!"
Nobody but him, heard the voice, nobody understood it.
For him, it was his voice.
...
Rin opened his mouth, and he put the pills inside of his mouth.
Nobody noticed him.
No one will notice what he is doing right now.
He hasn't swallowed them yet.
He closes his eyes.
"Open your eyes-"
A door opened loudly.
It jumpscared Rin.
Now he was caught.
By his older brother Sae.
"RIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
Sae yelled at Rin, and he can see what he is doing.
He ran towards him, grabbing his mouth with his hand, and his arm holding his body.
"Rin- RIN SPIT IT OUT!"
It was Sae.
Rin couldn't spit it out, and nodded no.
"RIN I SAID SPIT IT OUT!"
Finally, Rin spits it out. He actually listened to what Sae said.
Sae looked at him in shocked, and seeing the almost swallowed pills on the floor.
"Rin. What the fuck are you doing?" Sae sounded angry and scared.
But Rin can't respond to that. He was crying and sobbing.
Sae couldn't do anything, but his entire expression was filled with horror, seeing his little brother attempting to disappear himself forever.
"Rin, are you fucking stupid? Where did you even get these pills from?"
He can't respond to that. He was crying and it's blocking his words.
"I don't know anymore... im tired of breathing..." Rin responded.
Sae's eyes are forming a waterfall. He just saw his brother. His younger brother. Taking his own life.
He hugs him tightly, rubbing his back. Signifying that he is here for him.
Rin continues to sob while Sae wrapped his arms around, refusing to let him go, cause if he does, Rin will disappear soon.
"That's so lukewarm of you..." Sae said as he cries.
"I'm sorry nii-chan."
Sae doesn't want to let him go. Never. He loves his baby brother so much. He never thought that Rin was the person who would do things Sae never want him to do.