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Chapter Text

For the most part, Nezha is a no-nonsense deity who takes his celestial duty as the Patron Deity of Children and Youth very seriously. 

And Wukong said ‘for the most part’, he means there are times when Nezha decides to be unhinged. 

Borderline, strangely and ridiculously unhinge, even more so than Wukong himself. 

Like that one time Nezha decided to spend an entire celestial day—equivalent to an entire mortal year—as an old man (he’s a deity, he can age himself or even deage himself as he pleases). Why? He just thought it would be funny to mess around with the others, confusing them as to why there is an elderly roaming around the palace dressed like the Third Lotus Prince, providing ‘wise’ sayings to the guards lamenting their boring duties or insulting some of the high-ranked council members. 

Also because he’s bored and got into another argument with his father. 

Even funnier to learn the entire bureaucracy spent the whole day looking for the ‘real’ Nezha and hunting down the deranged old man, and safe to say, Erlang got quite a heart attack to learn his disciple was safe and was the said old man the entire time. 

Wukong won’t lie—that is a hilarious tale. 

What is not hilarious is when Nezha decides to barge his hut on Mount Huaguo, with an Erlang who doesn’t look like he’d sleep for the past year and an incredibly confused Ao Bing, demanding to him that the four of them should;

“Let’s start a boyband.”

Wukong doesn’t remember the last time he hopped onto his cloud so fast out of the comfort of his home down to Megapolis.

Well, this is one of those times, I suppose. 

He walks down the street to Pigsy’s noodle shop. Expecting to be greeted by MK once again scolded by Zhu Bajie’s reincarnation, he’s instead welcomed by Nezha in his 7 years old form carried by Tang who is so obviously in awe by how adorable the Lotus Prince could be. In the background are Ao Bing talking to his great-niece and her best friend and Erlang chatting slurping his third bowl of noodles. 

Look, Wukong is a sucker for anything that is adorable—and that includes Nezha. And with Nezha in one of his most revered forms by humanity, how could the Monkey King not just sit down and listen to him—and ignore the very obvious signs from Erlang and Ao Bing to not give in?

Like- The chubby cheeks, round eyes and the twin half-buns… Nothing is more adorable than Nezha in that state, isn’t it?

“So Nezhy, what is it you want again?” Wukong says. 

“I said, let’s start a boyband!” Nezha demands in his ‘sweet’ and adorable childish voice he reserves for certain occasions. 

“...”

The entire shop goes silent. 

“Why do you feel the need to use my weakness towards cute things against me?” Wukong sobs. 

Nezha changes back to his adult-self, smirking victoriously. “Because I can.”

Wukong turns to Ao Bing and Erlang who are understandably angry at him for failing to resist the Third Lotus Prince’s deathly cuteness. MK and Mei immediately start surrounding him, jumping up and down by how hilarious and cool it would be if Wukong suddenly becomes an idol. Tang almost faints because for the religious figures he spent his entire youth studying, suddenly announcing they’ll be in a boyband is never in his bucket list. Pigsy from behind the counter simply chuckles at how amusing this situation is getting, given by what a massive stage fright Wukong has. 

“Bud, I don’t know if you realise this but I have performance anxiety.” Wukong reminds the Third Lotus Prince. “And I doubt the Jade Emperor will like the idea of you and three eyes over there involved with me, again. Also, won’t Ao Guang wreak havoc if he learns his son is hanging out with you?”

“One, fuck that old hag. Two, I made a deal with the Emperor of the East Sea. As long as I’m nowhere near the East Sea and its people, it’s cool.” Nezha says. “Three, I know. But your human glamour gives me an idea. And who says we’re performing on stage?”

“...”

“What?”

MK doesn’t know what’s weirder. 

Four religious figures in Buddhism and Taoism gather in one of Shanghai’s most esteemed dance academies, all glamoured into looking like humans (incredibly beautiful ones at that), spending the last five hours learning choreography as part of their ‘quest’ to form an idol group…

… Or him and Mei on Mei’s laptop scouring for a music studio to record their music and also scheduling lessons with the vocal coaches—though they don’t really need one because much to the two youths' surprise, the four figures are actually decent singers, just need help in the dance department. 

“Urm… How about Glorious? It’s a studio owned by an indie label so everything else in terms of release, they’ll handle it for us.” MK suggests.

Mei hums in agreement and immediately starts to check the studio’s website for bookings, drafting an email as she does so. 

“This is, by far, the weirdest hijinks we’ve been through.” Mei says. “And to think Nezha started it makes it even weirder.”

MK shrugs, though he agrees when Mei says this is a strange situation. 

Because as far as he knows (at least from what Tang told him), no celestial deity suddenly starts their day thinking; ‘I need to be an idol in a band.’, not especially if the deity in question is Nezha. Maybe this is one of his methods to connect with this generation’s youth—because, well, he protects youths and youths these days are involved with idol culture. 

MK looks at the four deities disguised as men, clearly devoted to perfect the choreography they’re taught by the dance instructors. What intrigues MK is what quick learners and great dancers the four of them are, particularly Wukong and Erlang. It’s the clean yet sharp, swift movements they put out as their limbs move to exhibit the emotions from the demo song. 

“No wonder Nezha wants to start a boyband. I mean- C’mon, look at them. Look at Monkey King and Erlang.” MK nudges at them, and Mei has to agree. 

The Victorious Fighting Strife Bodhisattva and the Great Illustrious Sage are damn good dancers. 

MK later learns that Nezha is given 6 mortal months worth of vacation, and doesn’t really want to hang around his temple which isn’t that far from his father’s residence. Moreover, his brothers are also on vacation and while Nezha no longer has bad blood with either of them, the Lotus Prince doesn’t feel like being around his biological family. 

Nor he is interested to be around anything immortal, which is why he decides to crash into MK’s place. 

Not that MK complaining. Outside of celestial duty, Nezha’s a chill guy to hang out with and is a really great friend, though MK won’t enjoy this six months long of sleepover if Nezha won’t do anything other than watching his newly bought iPad, except for eating, sleeping and going to the convenient store to raid their popsicles. 

“Nezha, mind explaining why you’re doing this again?” MK asks Nezha whose eyes are glued to the screen rewatching their dance practice from earlier. “Like- Why is a protection deity suddenly interested to be an idol- Nezha, why are you watching Chuang?”

“Eh, just for the fun of it. Is this really the only way to be an idol? You really need to undergo this survival show?” Nezha asks. 

“Not really. But, people just like survival shows, I guess. I only watched the first few installments of Produce Camp series including the Korean and Japanese versions, though I dropped them when it got boring.” MK says, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Why? You’re not planning to participate, are you?”

“No! Just curious.” Nezha says. “I’m only doing this because I thought it would be fun. It looks fun.”

“Yeah, ‘looks’. I have a few friends who trained to be in the idol industry and only one of them make it… It’s rough, dude. You fly high or die.” MK says. He doesn’t want to hinder Nezha from his sudden interest of being an idol, he just wants the deity to know what he’s getting himself into. And when Nezha looks at MK with disbelief, MK only shrugs. “I wish I was joking but no. It’s super duper competitive and chances of success are like… 1/10? Especially if you wanna do this indie. Also, does this have anything to do with Li Jing or the bureacracy? What did he do to you this time?” 

Nezha gets up and holds MK’s shoulders gently. “Like I said. Just for the fun of it, and just this one time. Ao Bing is in because he badly wants to sing again while Erlang and Wukong only agreed because I promised them that it’s this once and then we can forget all this ever happen.” Nezha assures the boy. “And it has nothing to do with him. We made a peace treaty to leave each other alone for the entirety of my vacation.”

“If you say so.” MK smiles. “Let’s have dinner. When Dadsy learnt you’re staying, he stocked the fridge with all the ingredients to make all your favourites.” 

“Hell, yeah! I’m starving.” 

Chapter Text

To be fair, they can easily hire ghost singers to sing for them. But Nezha feels if they’re going to do a one-time idol thingy—also because Ao Bing refuses to have one—they might as well just do it truthfully, which much to the Monkie Crew surprise, the rest of the would-be band members agree.

Each of them are given individual coaches (thanks to Mei and her overflowing monthly allowance her parents insist she receives), given their very different vocal range. Sandy decides to wait with Ao Bing, because Ao Bing’s instructor is the only one who doesn’t mind Mo hanging around. 

Sha Wujing’s reincarnation spends the entire hour playing with the keyboard left in the live room, mindlessly pressing the keys to entertain himself as Mo dances to whatever rhythm is played by the river demon. Then he realises he’s too curious to not know the Dragon prince’s singing voice. He takes a glass and presses it on the door to the vocal booth, and listens. 

‘What if we rewrite the stars… Say you were made to be mine… Nothing can keep us apart… You’ll be the one I was meant to find…’

Wow.

Ao Bing is natural.

He is a singer. 

Oh boy, no wonder Nezha recruited him. 

When break time comes, Sandy hurries to Ao Bing to give him some tea to soothe his throat, in case the singing exhausts him. 

“Wow. You’re a natural, Third Dragon Prince.” Sandy compliments the prince. 

“Thank you.” Ao Bing blushes. “I thoroughly enjoy singing, but singing in front of the public is considered a rather boisterous act which my family heavily frowns upon.”

“Oh? Is that the reason you agreed to join Third Lotus Prince?” Sandy asks, surprised. 

“Well, you could say I agree to join him with everything when I want to do something my father won’t approve of. When we first struck a friendship after I was first revived by my dear cousin Ao Lie request upon his enlightenment, I only forgave him because I was infatuated with his rebellious nature even towards the bureaucracy, especially his father.” Ao Bing says. “Not saying I despise my father… I just wished he wasn't so old-fashioned.”

“Well, you have us. Be as authentic as you please. And your great niece is nowhere different from you.” Sandy softly smiles. 

That gives Ao Bing slight comfort. “Thank you.”

Meanwhile, Pigsy is with Nezha and his jaw is dropped to the ground as he hears the Lotus Prince rapping to… Jackson Wang (he isn’t sure if it’s Jackson Wang, but it’s a rapper MK listens to when on cleaning duty). 

No, he didn’t see that coming, especially that he’s actually incredible at rapping.

He would think that someone as dainty as Nezha, will be a vocalist. But of course, he is a rapper. 

And to be frank, the idea of an idol group composed of four religious figures feels very wrong and quite blasphemous.

Even the conversation from the other day feels like… Not something one would expect of a conversation between three celestial deities and a bodhisattva. 

.

.

.

“URM, WHAT?!” Erlang and Wukong almost jump on the table. “We are NOT becoming idols, Nezha.” They say, in sync. 

“Technically, you guys are idols. Don’t you see the statues lining the side roads in Trinity Street?” Tang says.

“Not THAT idol, Mr Tang. You know- The entertainment ones?” Mei says. “But why so sudden?”

“Yeah. I thought you like your full-time job at the Celestial realm.” Bai He, who just arrived at the noodle shop and is already witnessing chaos, says.

“The Jade Emperor gave me six months of vacation and I wanna try something new so why not?” Nezha shrugs, that devilish grin painted across his face. 

“Who are you and where is Nezha?” Wukong says, still in disbelief. “I’m NOT doing this, especially when we look like THIS.” 

Wukong pulls a piece of his hair to transform it into a large mirror. There are the reflections of four, definitely not mythological characters, standing in the mirror. But Nezha is five steps ahead, summoning his spear and knocking it on the floor. Pink smoke starts to fill the room and when it disappears, the four Gods, too, banished.

In their places are four boys, about MK and Mei’s age, who while look completely human, possess such inhumane yet natural beauty it’s almost believable that these boys would be direct descendants of Celestial deities themselves.

“I present to you, our pure human forms!” Nezha says.

Everyone stares in awe at the pure human forms of the four deities. Pigsy has to catch Tang from fainting out of shock and excitement. They’ve never seen such beauty in a human being. 

Nezha is a dainty little beauty. His pale skin is with hints of red, reminiscent of a lotus petal. His stature is quite smaller compared to the other three, with soft facial features to match. His long lashes made his eyes appear cat-like, further enhancing his androgynous appearance.

“Wow, I forgot I can change into a male human.” Wukong says. He looks at his reflections, smiling with full delight at his ‘new’ appearance. “Still prefer my female human form but this works too.” 

He is definitely living up to his title as the Handsome Monkey King, in both monkey and human forms. His golden chestnut hair pulled to the back, with smooth facial features adorning his peach skin, his most notable feature which stands out would be his arched eyebrows, making him look like he’s always up to mischief. 

Ao Bing examines his face. No scales on his face nor the horns like his humanoid form. His skin smooth and pale like a pearl with his ocean blue eyes, not to mention long silver hair making him more ethereal. 

Now that he thinks of it, he looks way too much like his great-niece, who is already beaming with excitement by how identical they kind of look, except Mei inherits Ao Lie’s jade green eyes and her hair is black.  

“You really prepared this way ahead, huh?” Ao Bing comments, clearly impressed. 

Nezha smirks. “Well, I am amazing.” 

‘What is up with him?’ Wukong couldn’t help but to judge the sudden sass—which he won’t lie, he misses to hear from Nezha—coming out from the Lotus Prince.

MK chuckles. At least they’re content! Well, most of them because…

… Erlang looks so appalled by his appearance. 

Overall, he looks like how he would look any other day, with his defined collarbones, sharp jaw-line, sharp brows and those divine broad shoulders are to die. His shoulder-length hair is tied into a manbun. What's missing is his third-eye. 

“Is Erlang okay?” MK whispers to Bai He.

Bai He takes another look at the Illustrious Sage, being stared at by Sun Wukong, before shaking his head and going back to fawn over his looks in the mirror. 

“Monkey King doesn’t look like he’s admiring… Does he?” Bai He whispers back. 

It takes a second later for Nezha to realise.

“Oh- Urm… Erlang, your… Sorry-”

“It’s okay. I don’t know why I’m surprised to look like him. I should’ve seen it coming.” Erlang says. “Doesn’t mean I hate it, I love it. I forgot how identical I am to him without my third eye.” 

“Well, at least you’re aware.” Wukong chimes. “Hope he doesn’t have a heart attack in case you went viral on the internet.” Erlang gives the monkey a side-eye. 

MK and Bai He steps back from the scene, approaching Tang who is on his sketchbook. 

“Urm, Mr Tang, who are they talking about?” MK asks.

Tang is about to answer then realise the sudden shift in energy of the dining area. They have more important things to discuss after all. Yeah, this conversation is for another time.

“How about later?” Pigsy interrupts, also realising the potential uneasy atmosphere. “Because I think Nezha should tell us more about his new hobby.”

“Ugh, I told you! I’m bored and I wanna try something new.” Nezha growls.

“Okay. Your new ‘hobby’. But WHY do you choose us?” Ao Bing asks. 

“One, you love singing while your father doesn’t approve of that. Two, I think Erlang could use some of his free time other than sketching or building fountains and gazebo. Three, I just wanna annoy Wukong.” Nezha says, which almost causes Wukong to jump over the Lotus boy. 

“Thanks, Little Lotus. Appreciate the attentiveness towards my hobby, as well towards others.” Erlang sarcastically remarks. “But I don’t remember you liking music?” 

“Erm… That might be our fault?” MK pulls Mei and Bai He near him, which upsets the two girls for being thrown under the bus. “We had a sleepover at Mei’s place with Red Son and we jammed to Girls’ Generation and SHINee a little bit which got Nezha curious.”

Everyone in the room shifts their attention to Nezha. 

“Mortals make good music, you guys.” Nezha says. “And four, this is the first time in forever since I get to have fun after being freed from Li Jing’s clutches. I gotta make use of this once-in-a-lifetime freedom. Who knows when I’ll lose it!” 

They all think for a moment and realise Nezha is right. In general, this is the first time since the world has been so peaceful. Might as well venture in new fields while they still have the time. 

But Wukong is still contemplating. He finds the idea intriguing, but performing? His stage fright says no.

“Please, Wukong. Please!” Nezha starts to play with Wukong’s hands. In a blink of an eye, Nezha shifts back to his 7 year old form, and his eyes are all teary. “Please, dagé. Please! What happened to doing anything for your dìdi? It’s a one-time thing, I promise! Just upload on YouTube then we disappear!” He whimpers, pouting and puffing his cheeks.

Wukong has to close his eyes. Oh, he hates it when Nezha does this. He isn’t lying when he says Wukong swore to do anything for him… Just the Bodhisattva doesn’t think Nezha will use that statement to his advantage and put Wukong in a difficult place.

… He is curious, though.

“... Fine. Just this once.” 

“Yay! Thank you!” Nezha changes back to his adult form and immediately pulls Wukong into a hug, which the Great Sage doesn’t mind. He loves a hug or two from the Lotus Prince. 

.

.

.

Nezha and the instructor exits the vocal booth, fist bumping like they’re old pals, as the instructor excitedly says he can’t wait for the music video to release and that ‘Yunxiang’ and his bandmates will make it big in the music industry. 

The instructor left to check on the others, leaving a pleased Nezha with a very dumbfounded Pigsy, slowly turning to the prince with his brows furrowed.

“What?” Nezha says. 

“Yunxiang?”

“Well, a name I got from a movie inspired from my life.” 

“Okay. And since when do you rap?” 

“Since I started hanging out with MK more and he introduced me to C-Pop and C-hip hop, then K-Pop… Then I guess I just picked it up out of nowhere.” Nezha casually says, drinking the ice cold water to quench his thirst after an hour of rapping and singing. “Did you know Jackson Wang is in a K-Pop group whose ex-CEO just always finds a way to insert himself?”

“... No. Nor do I care. Let’s check Ao Bing and Sandy.” 

“Shūshu is WHAT?” Red Son spits his drink out upon hearing the news from his girlfriend through the phone. And because he has it on speakers, even his parents are surprised. “Dragon Girl, what do you mean Shūshu- OF ALL PEOPLE, wants to debut in a boyband?” 

“Don’t ask me. Ask Nezha.” Mei says. “Well, because Nezha may or may not use Wukong’s weakness towards cute things to his advantage. There are also Erlang and Shū Gōng Ao Bing, by the way.”

That left the Demon Bull family with more questions, but ones they rather left unanswered. 

Niú Mówáng, for one, is so astounded he gives Wukong a call to make sure his younger brother is physically, mentally and spiritually healthy because he is not going to believe for a moment that Sun Wukong agrees to this. 

“I- Good luck for them, I suppose?” Princess Iron Fan chimes in, rubbing comforting circles on her husband’s back who is undergoing a major existential crisis. “Nezha is one to come up with the weirdest hijinks when he feels like it.” She suddenly recalls all the pranks the Lotus Prince managed to make her and Erlang participate in while she was still siding with the Celestials. She laughs. “Hah! This is actually the least weird thing he came up with. And Wukong thinks he’s the mischievous one.” 

“Well-” The Bull Prince doesn’t want to know. “Urm, Fùqīn, do you wish to say something?” Red Son looks at his father whose head is already buried in his hands. 

“If my dídi is content, then that’s that.” Demon Bull King says. “I’m not sure why I’m making a big deal out of this. It should only make sense that sooner or later, Wukong will get himself into such a situation, regardless of the fact he’s enlightened.”

“Hey, what can I say? Sometimes, a bodhisattva wants to jam too! You should look at how he dances.” Mei says excitedly. “I’ll catch up later, babe. Taking them to meet their stylists!” Then the call ends. 

Hong Hai-er looks at his father, understandably, repulsed reactions, with his mother just as taken aback with this news, but clearly entertained by her baby brother’s first scheme in centuries. Well, he himself expects this would come from a bodhisattva like Wonderful Sound—even that is very much unlikely because come on—not Victorious Strife. 

Well, he’s going to have a time with all these. 

In the meantime in Pigsy’s noodle shop;

“Shouldn’t we tell Guanyin? Shouldn’t she know what her sons are up to?” Mei asks.

“RIGHT!” MK gets on his cloud, helping Bai He to get on it too. “We’ll be back in a snap.” Then they fly up to Heaven to Guanyin’s monastery. 

Mei chuckles, but starts to think if she left someone out. A certain monkey comes to mind…

“Who is it again?”

… Right! Yuebei Xing! But Wukong can handle his daughter. Other than that, Mei thinks everyone is informed of the Three Heavenly Rebels featuring his great uncle’s new hobby.

“... WHAT?” Never cross MK and Bai Hei’s minds to see the image of the Bodhisattva of Mercy in such shock, she almost spills her cup of tea. “I… My Xiǎolían and Xiǎozǎi… I leave them in your care, Qi Xiaotian.” She solemnly says, before passing out.

“... At least she knows.” Bai He says, and MK agrees.

Chapter Text

“So, how did Guanyin react to this news?” Erlang asks MK and Bai He during lunch. 

When the duo returned, they were dead silent as if they witnessed something no mortal should see. Wukong and Nezha get concerned if another of her pets has gone rogue or some celestial decides to launch an attack against her. But MK assures them that it’s nothing, just that they delivered a message regarding her younger son’s new hobby.

“She fainted then got back up and ordered Muzha to bring us home. And Longnü says she wants free front-row ticket and congratulated you for doing what you love, Ao Bing. Oh, Nezha, your brother’s still outside.” MK nudges outside.

“WHAT?” 

Without hesitation–despite the claims he wants nothing to do with his biological family over the course of his vacation–he gets outside to see Muzha sitting on a bench, grinning widely. 

“Hello, baby brother.” He says, with that stupid smug face that never fails to make Nezha cringe. “Heard of your new hobby.”

Nezha rolls his eyes. The very few moments he gets to interact with his brothers (mostly Muzha), they always manage to irritate him. 

Or at least, that’s when he’s still grumpy and bitter at life.

“Well, if you’re gonna say a word about it, it’s way cooler than yours!” Snarks Nezha.

“Hey! Gaming is a cool hobby.” Muzha argues. “Oh, here. I actually want to give you this.” Muzha reaches into his pocket and hands out a notebook.

Nezha flips through the pages and realises he used this notebook years ago to list down all the things he wants to do in the mortal realm during his vacation. It’s been so long since he’s seen it. Not only the activities but also with whom he wants to do it. 

Like playing football with Muzha. 

Sculpting with Jinzha.

Skiing with Ao Bing.

Shopping with Zhenying.

Making ice cream with Guanyin.

Sky diving with Erlang and Wukong.

Going to the cinemas with his niece and nephews.

“So…” Muzha scratches the crook of his neck. “Wanna play football this weekend? If you’re not busy of course.” 

Nezha’s surprised to hear that. When he was still a child, his brothers were much older and already disciples of heavenly deities so he never got the experience of playing with them. He only recalls having his younger sister around, but not like he got to always be with her. 

Nezha barely recalls a moment when he’s with his brothers, only the image of him killing Muzha with a brick comes to mind. Even after they reconcile, Nezha still feels guilty of it. 

Not even ascending to Heaven allowed Nezha to bond with his brothers, just by how busy and different their schedules were. Doesn’t mean the Lotus Prince never wants to hang out with them, though he never knew if his brothers felt the same.

“You mean it?” 

“Yeah- I thought now that you have your freedom back and you’re on vacation and we’re on one too… Why not?” Muzha says. “I don’t know why we’ve been holding off for a decent brotherly bonding session away from Heavens. Maybe after that we can go shopping with Zhenying then visit Jinzha- Wait, no. All four of us should play football, sculpt and go shopping.” 

Nezha chuckles. “That… Is a great idea. I love that.” 

Muzha softly smiles. It’s nice to see his younger brother so happy. “Anyways, Mama wants you to know when you’re done with all this, she’s more than willing to teach you how to play guzheng.” 

That’s not something new to hear. Her Niang—Lady Yin, back when he’s still a mortal child, made several attempts to teach her youngest son how to play a guzheng. Taiyin Zhenren at one point taught him to channel his emotions to a musical instrument. Then when Guanyin took her in after he became immortalised, also persuaded him to take on guzheng.

But of course—being a bloodlusted boy at the age 7 equals no to musical art and more to martial arts. 

Now that he’s much mature…

“If I can play the guzheng, will you teach me that creepy nursery rhyme Jinzha is scared of so much?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

Tang is having an existential crisis. 

When he is not on a quest with his beloved crew or hanging around the noodle shop, he’s in the comfort of his private library, researching ancient Chinese history for Megapolis’s prestigious university. 

Not acting as a manager for another one time thing band.

He’s still shook to learn the four figures he dedicated his teenage years studying and researching are (well, will be) in a band. 

Now, he’s waiting in the main building of Midnight, the indie label which owns Glorious, to be welcomed by a woman who is said to help them figure out what kind of music video is suitable for their music and what kind of aesthetic the band should use. 

“Tang, you cool?” Wukong asks.

Tang isn’t sure if it’s impressive or disturbing that the four figures are glamoured to look around MK and Mei’s age, and that they’re incredibly attractive in that form. Not that it’s a disguise, but if they are to have a true human form, they will possess their respective forms.

“I apologise for Nezha’s cheekiness, Mr Tang. But don’t worry! I’m sure he’ll be glad to lend you some assistance in your private conservatory.” Erlang offers. 

“Yes… I’m… Fine. And sure… Great.” Tang, his face shrouded with utter confusion and sweats draining over his skin, says, looking at Ao Bing still trying to figure out how a smartphone works with Nezha teaching him.

“How… Did the Lotus Prince get the music so fast?” Tang asks.

“Apparently he has a friend who knows a friend who has a top music producer’s son for a friend.” 

Tang’s jaws drop to the ground upon hearing the answer. This is some insane lore-dropping of the Patron Deity of Children and Youth. What deed the child has done to be close friends with Nezha without being involved in these supernatural hijinks?

“So where is the concept artist?”

“Hello, darlings!” A woman in her early 30s enters the room with files and albums in her hands. “Oh, you must be their manager. I heard everything from my friends in the Glorious and Posh-Steps of these four hunks debuting in a boyband- And I can’t believe I’m working for them!” 

Thanks to people they met at the recording studio and the dance academy, they’re given recommendations of concept artists they can work with. The manager of Glorious is so impressed by their skills that he arranges for one of the directors under their parent company to produce a music video for them. 

For a ‘passion project’, this is getting very serious. 

Tang excuses himself to discuss with Quinn in her office while the rest waits in the lobby. The walls are covered with pictures of scenes from Wong Kar-Wai, Stanley Kubrick, Sofia Coppola and David Lynch films, posters of artists she’s worked with previously, both of Midnight even from other labels, photographies of ranging from green sceneries of the countryside to the neon lights decorating a suburban. 

“So Mr. Tang, call me Quinn. Tell me everything about your band.” Quinn says, her eyes roaming at the four pretty boys. “You know it astounds me that you, too, are a looker. Might as well be a member too.”

“Urm… I would rather be in the background.” Tang chuckles nervously. This is giving him flashbacks of what his ancestor and past life have experienced in the Kingdom of Women, except this time no hand-in marriage request will happen and he won’t be devastated he is, yet again, to be separated from his soulmate who he already lost in a lifetime before that. 

Tang lets her listen to the demo of the song. It’s fresh and upbeat, cheerful and nostalgic. She shows them some pictures of other bands she’d worked with using coming-of-age or youthful concepts. Quinn has wanted to give them the same concept, but with the four ‘teenage’ boys in front of her sporting rather inhumane beauty, she opts to assign them a fantasy youth concept—which is fitting for them. 

“Are you sure it’s the right one? Not that I’m doubting you, just I didn’t expect you to decide so quickly.” Tang says. 

“Honey, I’ve been in the industry for 10 years. I’ve worked for numerous named artists, so I guarantee you your boys will love this.” Quinn winks. “We’ll discuss in detail on a later date, but rest assured it’s nowhere later than Friday. I’ll give you a call.”

“FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT!”

Loud thumping and music reach the ground floor, following is Erlang counting and shouts of four young men filling the shop. 

MK and the crew are downstairs, eating dinner Pigsy has prepared. So far, everything is going well. They have the music, a choreographer, concept director, all left is for the lyrics for the song to be done, all thanks to the friends they met in Posh-Up and Midnight.

Tang is telling MK, Mei and Bai He of the full story of the Third Lotus Prince, when they feel a dark aura approaching the noodle shop. All the furniture in the dining area starts moving, as if an earthquake is happening. They hear loud footsteps entering, and with a deep voice only a monster could possess,

“Where is Baba?!” There is Yuebei Xing in her giantess form. She must’ve only morph into the form after arriving, that would explain the dark aura. 

“Hei, Yuebei!” MK, absolutely unfazed at the usually stoic girl looking so angry, gets near to the giantess. He hands her a bowl of noodles. “Looking for Monkey King?” 

‘Sun Wukong didn’t tell her.’ Everyone wonders.

Yuebei shifts back into her regular monkey form, accepting the bowl and taking a seat next to Tang, silently eating her noodles with grumpiness painted over her. 

“So what’s bringing you here at 9 PM, kid?” Pigsy asks, but jumps when the Monkey Princess slams the chopsticks on the table, a dark aura surrounding her. “Hey… Your Baba’s upstairs-”

“Why is nobody telling me that he has a pure human form?!” She lashes out.

‘... What?’

“Miss Yuebei, you’re angry that-” 

“Yes, Sandy. All this time when we want to go to the pizzeria or anywhere for dinner, we always put our glamour on. And only now do I learn I have a pure human form because I have the honour of being the Great Sage’s daughter?” Yuebei angrily says. 

“So, you know about the idol thingy?” Mei asks.

“Thought he was joking then hearing the music and the stomping here- He’s serious.” Yuebei shrugs. She continues to eat her noodles, silently cursing her father for not sharing such a crucial piece of information.

They continue eating for a while, silently, with dark clouds still coming out from the Monkey Princess. Then when they hear men chattering coming from the stairs the clouds disappear, as Yuebei immediately rushes to her father, pushing Nezha, Erlang and Ao Bing as she does so. 

“Yuebei? Shouldn’t you be in bed right now?” Wukong asks, confused.

“Baba! How could you not tell me that I, too, can have a pure human form? And all this time you can be a man? I thought you’re only good at disguising yourself as a female human!” Yuebei says, puffing her cheeks and gripping her Baba’s shoulders.

“... You never ask?” Wukong shrugs uncomfortably. His little girl is only half his size, but her grip is strong. 

“Lían Shūshu, is the old fart being a meanie to you again?” She turns to the Lotus Prince asks in an innocent voice, her Baba still in her grip.

“Yuebei Xing!” 

“He’s right, though. Li Jing is an old fart- OW!” Pigsy smacks MK with a pan. 

“Let’s not encourage the girl, son, even though that man deserves that title.” 

“No! How many times do I have to tell you people? I’m BORED.” Nezha screams with frustration. “And NO. We are in somewhat of a good term, so NO, Yuebei. You are no longer permitted to chase him and other deities in your giantess form unless I say so.” 

“Okay… Why is Third Dragon-”

“Because I decided to rebel against my dear father.” Ao Bing answers. “Wanna join?”

Yuebei mouths an ‘Oh.’ and shakes her head, then shifts her attention to Erlang. Her brows furrow to see the three-eyed deity in his pure human form- Which while not the same, isn’t that much of a difference to his deity nature given Erlang is a demigod. Erlang is able to tell what’s in her mind.

“Yes, let’s not talk about it, Yuebei. I would appreciate it if this is a discussion for another day.” He says before Yuebei could point out. 

She turns back to her Baba.

“Can I have my pure human form now?” 

.

.

.

MK, Mei, Bai He, Pigsy and Sandy look at Tang, still slurping on his noodles, for the scholar to realise he owes them a story.

“Fine. Have you heard of the Magic Lotus Lantern?”

Chapter Text

The Six-Eared Macaque senses something is up with Wukong and his heavenly buddies, with the way they’re frequently out in the middle of Shanghai city and the number of times they use his theater in the dead of night. The shadow primate is prohibited by the Monkey King from hanging around, so Wukong’s youngest son, Luohou—who’s infamous for pushing him down a cliff upon their first meeting—allows him to stay in Huaguoshān, only to have him babysit the three cubs for free. 

He isn’t complaining, but he is curious. The cubs won’t tell him anything, but they do laugh amongst themselves when he turns away later. 

So there is only one way to force the secret out of them: coercing them into mischief. 

“Liu’er Bófù, aren’t we playing Uno today?” Yuebei questions when he sees the macaque lazing on the cave floor. 

“No. As a matter of fact, we’re doing something more entertaining today.” He says. “Say. How about we play a little game near my theater?” 

“But near your theater is just an alley. It’s dark and stinky. No fun there.” Jidu raises a brow, suspicious of where Macaque is going with this. 

“I’m saying we should sneak into the theater and take a peek at what your father and his friends are doing.”

The cubs are alarmed upon hearing this ‘idea’. Their father prohibits ANY OF THEM from hanging around when they’re rehearsing! They couldn’t imagine what sort of chores they’ll need to do for the next 10 celestial years if their father ever catches them. 

“That idea is intriguing, Bófù. But I'm not risking Bà punishing us with chores up in Guanyin’s grove.” Yuebei says. “Besides, the three of us already know what Babà is up to. So if you want to do that, then it’s ONLY you.” She points an accusing finger towards her uncle. 

“Pfft, I know that! And since you three won’t tell me, I’m finding out for myself. And I’m taking you along because I’m that responsible of a babysitter.” Liu’er Mihou smirks. “So, are you in?”

The cubs look at each other. As much as they hate to admit it, they are curious of this bizzare performance their father and his friends are putting on… The internet? The public? Well, that’s for them to find out. 

“Okay. But if we’re in trouble, it’s on you.”

“Well, of course.”

So the plan is, they teleport into the theater via Macaque’s shadow portal, shapeshift into some flies, and find a good spot amongst the vacant audience. 

Upon arriving, loud music, accompanied by noises of feet stomping and doing 8-counts, greets them. Taking their seats, they get a view of Wukong, Nezha, Erlang, and Ao Bing—all in their human forms, dressed in nothing but singlets and shorts already drenched in sweat—dancing as they lip-sync to the music played. 

The sight of Wukong dancing and singing isn’t a surprise for the macaque. He’d known the Stone Monkey enjoyed the many expressions of art and heard he often used proverbs and old sayings to tease or insult his pig pilgrim brother. What he isn’t prepared for, however, is to see the Third Lotus Prince, the True Sage, and the East Sea Third Prince being involved in these hijinks. And if that’s not severely shocking enough for him, for Jidu to casually say, “Lián Shūshu’s idea, by the way. Not Bà’s, just to be clear,” makes all these even more stumping for him. 

Well, at least he has something to blackmail Wukong and Nezha with in the future. 

Oh, he wishes to have his camera with him right now.

Suddenly, they feel their whole surrounding turn foggy and suffocate them with warm air. And when they are still digesting what’s happening, four pairs of giant eyes surround them, and one hand scoops them using the glass and seals the rim to prevent them from escaping. 

“IT WAS LIU’ER BÓFÙ!” The cubs quickly nudge towards the largest fly of them all. 

Wukong rolls his eyes and changes them back into their true form. “Should’ve seen this coming. I just didn’t think you kids would join in.”

“But Bà, we’re curious! And you were spectacular.” Luohou embraces his father despite his body odor, giving him the puppy eyes.

‘Well, damn my youngest for being so adorable.’ Wukong fails to contain his awe. “And you,” He then turns to Liu’er. “I can’t believe you coerced my kids into mischief again!”

“Well, won’t you kill me if I ever leave them unattended? Besides, we’re done playing Uno all day.” Liu’er says. “And you’re using my theater; no charges applied. I’m rightful to know what you guys are up to in my workplace.”

“Well, touché. But blame it on the Lotus Boy; he’s the mastermind.” Wukong points at Nezha, who then smacks his head. 

“Whatever. Well, my curiosity is satisfied. I’m not interested as to why because I can easily ask the cubs, but now we’re done; we’re out!” The macaque grabs the cubs, and into the shadow portal they go.

“...”

“... Well, that was short. So, where were we?”

.

.

.

“Seriously, why are they there?”

“Lián Shū’s bored on his vacation, Jian Bófù’s forced, and I think it’s a best friends activity with the East Sea Third Prince.” Yuebei says. 

“His sperm donor is cool with that? For Nezha, I mean. Oh, and what does Guanyin have to say?” Liu’er raises an eyebrow, but the three cubs shrug. 

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Jidu says. “Although we’re expecting a funeral by the end of Shũshu’s vacation. Guanyin? She fainted for the first time in centuries.”

“Ugh,” Nezha groans, seeing 300 miscalls from his father. “Introduce technology to a centuries-old deity, and he becomes annoying about it.”

After Liu’er and the cubs’ departure, Erlang and Wukong left for Pigsy’s shop to retrieve some snacks, given they’ll be up all night and require all the energy they could get, leaving Nezha and Ao Bing in the shadow puppet theater.

“Yikes. Can’t imagine my father had he owned a phone.” Ao Bing says, tossing a bottle of juice to Nezha. “You haven’t told him?”

Nezha shakes his head, throwing his phone into his sling bag, and catches the drink. “I would, but surprising him is more fun. You?”

Ao Bing shakes his head too. "He’s aloof to us being buddies, so I don’t plan to tell him any sooner than the d-day." He says. "Although next time I bring my great-niece to visit him, she might drop the bomb.”

“Yeah, Mei isn’t the best at keeping secrets for something as crazy as this.” They both laugh at that thought. “It’s crazy, right?” Nezha says, sipping on the juice.

Ao Bing turns to Nezha, curiosity in his eyes. “What? Us? Being friends? Ao Run Bófù and Tángdi Ao Lie making up was more believable at the time, and that’s saying something.” Nezha’s eyes bawl at the comparison, which Ao Bing shrugs off. “I’m actually glad we became friends.”

“Me too. Life felt livelier with a friend, especially with the recent events.” Nezha smiles.

.

.

.

Despite the time, almost 2 AM, the lights are still on in Pigsy’s shop, filled with laughter and chatter. But that doesn’t surprise both Wukong and Erlang. What’s surprising them is the sound of a new but familiar voice coming from inside. 

“He sounds familiar.” Erlang says. 

Too familiar to his liking.

“... Yeah, I couldn’t believe my ears when Yuebei said that. Shifū and Jiujiu of all people too…”

“... Chenxiang?!” Wukong exclaims. “What even is he doing here- Erlang?” The monkey shakes a frozen Erlang’s shoulders. “Hey, Yang Jian? You okay, dude?”

Erlang snaps back to reality. “Urm, no? Haven’t seen my nephew since Buddha-knows-when; suddenly he’s just few steps away from us because your daughter visited him at… Are they still living on that mountain?”

Wukong shrugs, then peeps back into the shop. There is Chenxiang, now a fine young man, with MK and Pigsy. His heart softens seeing his former disciple and current disciple getting along like brothers as they talk. Ignoring an appalled Erlang, he barges into the shop and greets them. 

“Yo! Shifū.” Chenxiang throws him a V-sign. “Is that my uncle right out there?”

Wukong smirks, pulling Erlang, who’s sneaking from the doorway, the three-eyed deity awkwardly waving but avoiding eye contact with Chenxiang. “Yeah. Oh, we’re here to take our rations, Pigsy.”

“Coming right up!” Pigsy says, and back into the kitchen he goes to place four packs of noodles into a paper bag with some mineral water. “Why don’t you bring your kid along?”

“Nah, I’ll just go freshen up on Shifū’s mountain. I’m exhausted from my trip anyway.” Chenxiang says. “Besides, my dear uncle needs to process this ‘reunion'.”