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Sybill hadn't always hated her gift. There had been a time, when she'd been younger with friends and freedoms, a time in which she'd treasured it.
There were the prophecies, the prophecies that forced themselves out of her, and made her a different person. The prophecies of which she could not remember, and did not care to hear. But then, there were the visions.
They came in dreams, in the crystal balls, in the bowls. They came when and where as they pleased. Divination, and the gift, Sybill had learnt were two very different things. Divination you had control of, the gift had control of you.
"If you let it," a distant, long lost, voice reminded her. "It only has control if you let it."
That had been said to her by the most amazing, brilliant woman. Young woman. Teen, a child really. They'd both been children at the time.
She'd always had good advice, Pandora. She was full of mystery, and genius, and brilliance.
When Sybill had been younger, when they'd been younger, when they'd been young together, Pandora had been a beacon of hope in the sea of tragedy and doom that surrounded the halls. It hadn't been all tragedy, not really, but it had been overwhelming.
Pandora Lovegood though, oh she had shone with such hope and brilliance. Shone with promises of years to come.
Sybill hadn't wanted friends, Not really. Not when she could sense their tragedy, and not when she could see it too, at night. In her dreams.
Pandora, oh but Pandora though! Pandora, not only had she had hope. Had love in her future. Had a life. A life worth something, longer than so many she saw. More worthwhile and kind than others. Oh Pandora, she'd loved her.
Sybill hadn't meant to fall in love.
Sybill hadn't even meant to find friends.
But oh, there was Pandora.
Pandora with her laugh. With her smile. With her kindness.
There was Pandora. Because hadn't she always been there? Pandora with her reassurances. Her inquisitive nature. Her need for knowledge. Her need for self.
Pandora had always been there. She'd seemed ever-lasting. Eternal.
Pandora, she'd been Sybill's guiding light. Been her hand to hold.
And oh Sybill had held. She'd held on, and she'd never wanted to let go.
Pandora had taken the fear she'd had. The fear of her gift, fear of the future. Fear of herself. She'd taken that fear, and she'd turned it into something more. She'd turned it into light, and hope, and something so much better!
She'd made her love her gift. Wasn't it fun to know things? Wasn't it good to feel like she had some control over it all?
It had all come from Pandora.
And as the years had gone by, the tragedy of the students and staff of Hogwarts sunk in. So many people had horrible futures ahead of them, some at their own doing.
Through it all, though, there had been Pandora.
There had been Pandora, with open arms. There she had been, giving Sybill all the support she could dream off, and more.
There had been Pandora, ready to wake her from the nightmares. Ready to hold her. Ready to pull Sybill into her bed. Oh how kind Pandora had been. Oh how easy it had been to fall in love.
To fall in love, and fall for her to no end. So, simply easy to love her. And that had been terrifying. Oh, it had been terrifying.
But it had been so worth it.
It had been the best. The most freeing time Sybill had ever had.
But then, well, her gift had taken the hope from her. The bright happy future full of hope and joy and purpose, it was stripped in place of tragedy.
In hind-sight, it was just her powers getting stronger, seeing further, seeing deeper. But then, in Hogwarts, she'd thought it had been her fault. Thought it was because she'd let herself become so entwined with Pandora that their lives blended. That falling in love with Pandora, and letting Pandora fall in love with her in turn would be Pandora's undoing.
Sybill had only wanted to keep her safe! All she'd wanted was to keep her safe. She'd wanted Pandora's life to return to the happy full of hope and purpose and meaning and serenity life that Sybill had seen in the early days.
Maybe things would have been different, if she'd properly pulled away Pandora. If she hadn't let the lines between them stay blurred. Slipping from platonic, merging with romantic. If she'd kept things on one side of the line, then maybe.
That wasn't how it worked though, was it? Pandora hadn't died from Sybill's involvement. Rather the opposite really. Not that Sybill liked to think of that. The future had a way of happening regardless of what you did.
Her gift, her curse, it had made her run. It had made her push Pandora away. It had taken so much from her. She'd never done anything for her, if she could see negativity in the future. She'd not had friends at Hogwarts because so many people were riddled with tragedy.
But she still felt the pain of it. The pain of the many losses. The pain of knowing those that were long gone. It hadn't been worth it, to live her life in solitude.
Pandora had tried teaching her that. Sybill had broken her rules for Pandora. But then, Pandora was gone too. She'd pushed her away as a lover, and then pushed her away as a friend, an the tragedy of her loss still stung. It still hurt so, so much.
She hadn't always hated her gift. There'd been a time, with Pandora, when she'd seen it as hope. When she'd loved it. When she'd started to have control of it. But no, that was never meant to last. It wasn't a gift. Not really, not when it had pushed her from Pandora.
It wasn't a gift. How could it be? It was so clearly a curse.