Chapter Text
“And? What did you reply?” Tara asks, leaning forward on the table until your faces were only mere inches apart. You slowly lean back, away from her, closing your eyes as if in an attempt to hide - you know exactly how she is going to react once you tell her.
“...and I said yes”
Her eyes widened in shock, mouth agape, “You what?!”
You can sense the stares of co-workers and fellow staff as they turn their heads upon hearing the commotion coming from your table. You feel your face growing hot from the sudden attention aimed at you two; sinking - or at least trying to - into your chair in an effort to escape the embarrassment. You send a glare Tara’s way, but she immediately retorts: “don’t look at me like that! I’m still speechless about what you just told me!”
“W-What do you mean?”, you utter back as a weak reply.
Her eyes narrow, eyebrows furrowing, “What I mean?”, she takes a sip of her coffee then sighs dramatically, “Just a month ago you were drunk-crying about how you still miss him and now you tell me you agreed to meet with him?”
In all fairness, Tara was whispering all of this to you to keep things low-key but the deep flush on your face wasn’t really keeping things inconspicuous.
“I couldn’t help it”, you respond, “I just.. I didn’t expect to meet him there. And then he asked me how I am doing, you know, looking all fine and relaxed and I…” your eyes focus on anything but her so Tara reaches for your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Although she had seemed annoyed or was scolding you just a while ago- deep down you knew she just meant well.
“I totally panicked. I told him I needed to head off for a mission and you know what he did? He said ‘then let’s meet up for lunch or dinner next time you are free’. And I just agreed.”
“But maybe he is just saying that”, Tara comments, thinking, “maybe it’s more smalltalk from his side and he doesn’t actually expect to meet up.”
“That’s what I also thought”, you reply, pulling up your phone to show her one of your recent text conversations, “but then I got this”
The phone conversation shows how, on the same evening, you got a text saying: “I’m checking in to see if this number still works, otherwise please just ignore this message. It was nice meeting you this afternoon and I’m glad to see you are doing well. About the offer I made; I truly meant it when I said we should have dinner some time soon. If you are up for it, how does next weekend sound? I’m off early Friday night.”
Tara stares intensely at your screen, looks up to you, then down again. “Oh no.”
“Yeah, exactly.”, you respond, head in hand, “How am I even supposed to respond? Once he meets me, he is going to realize that I haven’t moved on at all.” Your hands move to cover your face and you let out a big sigh, “He’s going to realize how pathetic I am.”
“Don’t say that,” you feel her hand on your shoulder, encouragingly, “I know that you are still struggling and that’s just normal. And if you need me for something, I’m always here for you.” You give her a small smile as a thank you.
“But you know what?” You two were on your way back from the cafeteria to the office when Tara suddenly brought the topic up again, “How about you show him how great you are doing now?”
“What do you mean? Show him something great? Like, what, my Hunter achievements?”
“No”, Tara shakes her head, plopping down on the chair at her desk, swirling around to face you, “How about you show him that you got a newer, better guy? That will not only show him that you are over your old relationship but also show how great you are doing now!”
Although this idea seems more like her, especially with how she starts blabbering about how you should definitely call her to coordinate your outfit, you can only react with a frown.
“Sounds great and all but you are forgetting some things here”, you mutter, turning back around to continue working on the half-written report you had abandoned for the lunch break, “First of all, I am just getting dinner with him - how weird would it be to show up with someone else? That would only show him that I’m trying to get a response out of him! And secondly, and I’m sure you know this, Tara, but I'm not dating anybody right now. So which poor soul would even agree to do this with me, knowing I’m pretty much all in it for a petty moment?”
Another sigh escapes your lips and just as Tara is about to open her mouth to answer, a third voice chimes into your conversation.
“Me?”
Startled, you look up, gaze meeting glistening blue eyes that look very familiar.
Behind you, Tara jumps out of her seat, walking over towards you two, “Xavier!”, she exclaims and he just nods matter of factly.
“Wait, were you listening to our conversation just now?”, you ask him, glancing over your shoulder to glare at Tara but she’s grinning back at you, giving you a thumbs up.
“I just happened to be sitting close by”, Xavier replies, however, his eyes don’t meet yours and the hand awkwardly rubbing his neck didn’t really scream ‘innocent’.
Groaning, you press your face into your hands again, “Great.”
“No need to be so down about it, this is great news, isn’t it?” Tara's hand is on your shoulder again, giving it a squeeze and you can tell she is excited by the way she starts giggling and fidgeting around next to you.
“No. Way.", is all you state as you go back to work. Tara opens her mouth but you turn to look at her wordlessly so she stops, sighs defeatedly and heads back to her desk.
Xavier’s still standing in front of your desk, watching you silently; His gaze lingers on your face, trying to read your expression, then continues to wander to your hands as they start getting busy at the keyboard and then he scans your desk, neatly organized but still having small personal trinkets here and there.
The longer he was staring, the harder he was to ignore; your face feeling warm from the intensity of his eyes fixated on your every move.
You glance up, locking eyes with him and for a quick second you see how his pupils widen before he goes back to maintaining his calm and usual composure; nobody else would’ve noticed probably - still, he was your partner for a good reason.
“Thank you, Xavier, but please don’t concern yourself with this.”, you tell him. Honestly it was embarrassing enough just knowing he had listened not only to your pathetic rant in the cafeteria but also Tara’s “amazing” idea on how to go about it.
Xavier shakes his head, reaches his hand forward to pat your head lightly. “Just let me know if you need me, I’m always only one text message away.”
The tips of his ears were colored a light shade of pink and before you can even point it out, he had already vanished.
How long ago has it been again?
If your memory serves you right, it was around four years ago when you met Zayne again.
You both grew up in the same neighbourhood, pretty much stuck to each other most of the days until one day, he had moved away, leaving behind empty promises and countless memories you grew to cherish.
Catching up with him about the years’ gaps, you met up almost every weekend save for some where you both were busy with work, had to reschedule due to a sudden wanderer attack or he had an emergency which he needed to tend to.
Turns out, Zayne was a renowned doctor now, working in a big hospital not too far from your own workplace. “That reminds me - I’m still looking for a new primary care doctor now that I’m fully settled in.”, you voice out while you two were sitting at a recently opened Cafe only a short walk away from the Hunter’s Association.
When you asked him if there was a doctor he could recommend to you, he didn’t say anything for a while, deep in thought. Just when you thought he wasn’t up for the conversation - maybe this question was hard to answer considering you just asked him to pick who his ‘best co-worker’ is - eyes focused on something outside the window, he asks: “Then how about me?”
You had choked on your coffee in shock, coughing violently and Zayne immediately handed you his glass of water, a look of concern in his eyes but the tips of his ears still slightly warm from his own suggestion. And then you agreed.
Both of you spent the weekly meet-ups first only talking about what you missed out on in each other’s lives while having some coffee, then slowly made it lunch with an occasional dessert afterwards while catching each other up on life and your missions and sometimes it was dinner at his place followed up by a movie.
You both never really talked about what exactly you were at this point; you did enjoy his company and his calm, relaxing nature that would make the stress of an especially hard day dissipate in an instant. And you felt like he was opening up a lot more over time, especially when he invited you over to his place one evening, a small blush on his cheeks, as he clears his throat when you hadn’t immediately replied.
And after months and months of back and forth like this, you were at his place one night again, having dinner together and after agreeing to watch a movie again, he had asked you, face flushed deep red if you wanted to stay the night. “On the couch, of course”, he had quickly added when he noticed how your face started turning pink as well and you just frantically nodded at him.
You don’t remember what that movie was about; all you know is that on that night, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder next to him, he had carefully wrapped his hand around yours, making you look over to him, heart beating so fast and loud you were sure he could’ve heard it.
Your gaze met his; his hazel green eyes staring into yours in a way so soft and gentle, it made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. His voice was deep and rich, slightly trembling when he asked and your hands wrapped around him in an instant as you pulled him in for an embrace. “Of course”, you muttered over and over again, feeling his hands around you tighten.
So what and when exactly did it go wrong?
“You know, I really don’t mind.”, blue eyes resembling the color of pretty marbles stare right at you, determined, but all you can think about is the ping you just received on your hunter’s watch, counting three nearby wanderers.
“Sorry what?”, you ask, leaping forward, eyes scanning left and right before dodging behind a cleared wall. You give him a nod: Wanderer up ahead. Breathing out slowly, you count to three in your head before you both make your way inside.
“About that thing Tara and you talked about recently. Your…”, you look at him confused, cocking your head to the side. What is he talking about when a fight is literally right about to start? “..Ex”, he lowers his head almost like a small puppy, watching for your reaction through his long eyelashes.
You look at him for a second, opening your mouth to speak but are interrupted by the sudden crash coming from outside the building. Is that..?
“Another wanderer”, Xavier announces, suddenly back to his usual self, as light forms around his hand to reveal his trusted weapon. You tighten your grip on your guns, getting ready to move. “I’ll deal with the one inside, you go outside and check the situation. Let me know if you need backup”, he nods, your footsteps slowly drifting away from him.
The surprise appearance of two additional wanderers kept you both occupied for a while longer than you had expected, nonetheless, you were successful in the end. Small bruises here and there, sure; maybe a light scratch and some ripped fabrics - but nothing out of the ordinary.
At least that’s what you tell Xavier when you both wait for the investigators and medics to arrive. You ignore the pain in your shoulder, checking your hunter’s watch for any lingering fluctuation while Xavier takes a quick stroll around the area in case there are any traces left he can sense.
You explain the situation to the arriving units, check in with Captain Jenna while reporting on the additional sightings. “Alright, Good work you two. Get yourself checked properly for any injuries and hand in your reports by tonight. I’m clearing your patrol for this evening, so get a proper rest once you are done.”
You glance over to Xavier, who somehow has managed to not even get a single scratch on himself. A scoff escapes your lips; he looks up, blinking innocently.
“So about the conversation we had just before the attack happened..”, he suddenly starts and you immediately drag him away from the crowd when you see fellow hunters listening in curiously. You start walking in the direction of the next station.
“Listen,” you both are standing near the doors of the train, leaning against the glass panels, curious onlookers staring at your uniforms in awe but Xavier pays them no mind.
“Please just forget about it. You know, Tara just had one of her wild ideas, nothing more. I appreciate that you thought about me but I don’t think this is okay.”
His hand moves towards you and suddenly he is holding your hand, carefully, just enough for it to be in his grasp while still leaving you enough space so you could simply move away. “I just want to help you”, he mumbles, “Can’t I do that?” You move your hand from his hold to his head, ruffling his hair, gazing at him endearingly. He had leaned down a bit for you.
“Thank you for thinking about me but I don’t think this is appropriate. I respect Zayne, even though we didn’t part on great terms. I don’t want him to feel hurt because I’m being petty”
Something in Xavier’s eyes tells you he has something to say but doesn’t go through with it. An unsure smile on his face, he keeps you close to him until it’s time to get off.
However, instead of walking towards the Association’s building, Xavier pulls you in the opposite direction. You look at him, confused, “This isn’t-” “I know”, he points at your shoulder, “You thought I wouldn’t notice, did you?”
Akso Hospital is still visited by you even after you two broke up. Although he resigned from the position as your primary care physician - you both are able to separate work from personal matters but it just seemed like the most logical choice to make at that time - you were still a regular; getting check-ups for injuries and your heart every other month.
Zayne had made sure you were getting treatment from a doctor just as specialized as he is and to your knowledge, he was still directly working with them to ensure that your treatment was going well and you were not feeling any discomfort.
And fortunately - or maybe because Yvonne is working overtime by telling him when you have your appointments - you have managed to not meet him even once in the past two years.
But it seems that sometimes, dealing with sudden wanderer injuries, even someone as organized as Yvonne is unable to predict you coming in on a random afternoon.
Just as Xavier and you walked inside, his hand still around your wrist as if you were going to run away the second he lets go, you spot a familiar figure standing in front of the reception desk.
A tall man dressed in a gray coat you were oh-so familiar with, his black hair pushed back looking flawless despite the fact that you know from experience that it wasn’t done on purpose. (You asked him one morning when he was getting ready what he puts into his hair for it to look so good and he had smirked as a reply, “And what if i tell you I don’t do anything about it?”)
It seems he had just gotten back from his late lunch break; one hand holding onto his coffee as he chats with Yvonne about what you assume is his upcoming schedule today. But Yvonne had spotted you and her eyes were widened in shock and panic, moving back and forth between Zayne and you. It seems like Zayne had noticed her odd behavior; before he can ask if something is up, he follows her glance, turning around slowly and stops when he sees you, eyes darting towards the grip Xavier has on your wrist.
He looks taken aback but doesn’t say anything. Now that you think about it, Zayne and Xavier had never met before; You did tell him about your fellow hunter friends but only really got close to Xavier after the split.
You had taken on more missions and therefore more reports than usual; working overtime was your everyday and all you did after coming home was fall into your bed and hope for tomorrow to come so you could repeat it all over again. Xavier was the one who caught you still in office after your fifth day of overtime but from what he told you afterwards, it seems he had been there since day two, working silently from his desk while making sure you were fine. He would join you on your additional missions, leave office only when you did and turns out, you were neighbours anyways, so it made you feel a bit less bad about it.
Although you have been co-workers for a while, you didn’t really get to talk that much outside of work and the occasional lunch-break, so getting to know him over the past years and finding out how charming he actually was, caught you quite by surprise you must admit.
And maybe a part of you had silently thought that there could be more; he was kind, after all - treating you with so much respect and affection that you wouldn’t even dare to hold for yourself.
Before you are even able to explain yourself, Xavier drags you over to the reception counter. “There had been a wanderer outbreak. She injured her shoulder, so I would like her to get it checked out, please”, he tells Yvonne matter of factly, who in return, immediately goes back to her professional self, looking over at her screen to see where she could fit you in. “Unfortunately, your usual doctor is still with his patient right now and has a follow-up immediately after. But if it works with you, we can squeeze you in for a quick check-in in like thirty to forty minutes?”
You take a look at your watch; although thirty minutes wasn't that much you would rather be typing away at your report quickly so you could be home sooner. Not only was your shoulder starting to ache more than you wanted to admit, your stomach was slowly starting to act up as well. A mixture of a bad diet consisting of way too many coffees and stress probably.
“You know what, Yvonne, I think a cold compress at home will work wonders, I’m good.” Xavier sends you a worried look, so you do the first thing that comes to mind: you roll your shoulder back to demonstrate, smiling at him to show that you were not in pain anymore. Although he looks suspicious of you, he cannot argue back and you don’t tell him that it’s the wrong shoulder you were holding up for him to inspect.
Just when you think you are cleared and ready to go, you feel a hand on your wrist again, however this time it wasn’t Xavier. “I can do a check-up right now.”, his voice is soft and smooth - just like you remembered - and he looks over to Yvonne, who nods but gives you an apologizing look in return.
You glance over your shoulder at Xavier, hoping he could help. “Good, make sure to get it looked at properly”, he tells you, smiling gently - what a traitor. And he wanted to be your fake boyfriend?
And just like that you found yourself sitting in Zayne’s office again; his office that you would visit regularly even if you weren’t there for a check-up. Sometimes just to see him for a short while and sometimes, when you were off early, to pick him up so you could go home together.
It still looked the same; everything neatly organized and at its proper place - Zayne would explain to you how he liked to keep personal belongings in his study at home instead of in his office where they could get lost between files or be accidentally moved by cleaning staff. And you had understood but still managed to convince him to keep a small picture frame of you both near him. “To keep you motivated”, you had explained and he had chuckled first and declined but then proceeded to ask you what your favorite picture of you two was.
You sit across him, fingers fidgeting in your lap, while he checks your file presumably about your latest check-up. “Can you take off your outer layer and shirt for me so I can check out your shoulder? Enough so I can see the injured area.”, he was back in work mode again, his voice sounding cold and distant and you think, maybe that’s for the better. This would not be as uncomfortable then.
You slowly start unbuttoning and Zayne sits down in front of you. He doesn’t say anything but you see his eyes widen for a second when he spots the very obvious big, blue spot around your shoulder. “A cold compress will work wonders, huh?”, he asks and something inside your stomach twists: how come he seems so nonchalant talking with you again after all this time apart?
The twist in your stomach, in addition to the already existing pain you had been feeling, makes you lean over with a hiss, arms wrapping around your belly protectively and Zayne immediately has one hand on your forearm, eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong? A stomachache? Cramps?” You shake your head, “No cramps, it just started hurting a while ago.”, you let go and carefully straighten up again, letting out a shaky breath, “I’m fine.”
His eyes narrow, an obvious frown painting his face, “How can you say you’re fine, when you obviously aren’t? This bruise looks horrible and I say this because I know you. And I don’t even want to get started on your stomach issues because I just know that you haven’t been eating properly.”
You stare at him wordlessly. He was talking to you in that familiar tone again as if the last conversation you two had wasn’t two years ago. And why did he look so hurt throughout it all? All this time and even up until just now, you had thought he was doing fine, but maybe you were wrong after all.
“What does it mean to you?”, you ask him and he raises an eyebrow in question, “What do you mean?”, he mumbles.
“Why does it bother you so much? Why do you concern yourself about what I am doing, how I am getting hurt or if I’m eating well? Why would it even matter to you?” his eyes widen in shock - he looks speechless, “I don’t recall asking for your opinion, it’s not like you are my doctor even”, you continue, “So I’m asking again: Why do you care so much?”
It’s not like you to speak to him like this. To be honest, a part of you felt incredibly bad for getting so angry and coming onto him like this but at the same time it just wasn’t fair; it wasn’t fair that he was getting so worried about you, telling to you take care of yourself more when he had left you miserable for all this time.
Zayne’s voice was calm when he spoke up again: “You ask me why I care?”, he asks you back, looking up to you and you see the frustration in his eyes, the way his hands were shaking when he tried to ground himself by gripping at his own thigh.
“It has been two years since I last saw my ex-girlfriend and she is waltzing into my workplace, bruised up and in pain with a guy grabbing onto her like he owns her. And you ask me why I care?!”, he hisses through gritted teeth, then lets out an exasperated laugh, “I cannot believe you just asked me that.”
You don’t remember how it went afterwards - everything felt like a blur; Zayne prescribed you something for the stomach pain, patched up your shoulder and then walked you out where Xavier was waiting for you patiently.
Zayne and him were talking while you were checking in with Yvonne, setting up a follow-up appointment at the end of next week. She looked worried, considering you were barely talking but all you could think about was your conversation with Zayne, replaying word for word again and again.
Only once you got home and the water of the shower hit your face and slowly made its way down your body, you let the tension overcome you; tears welling up in your eyes and streaming down your face. You were shaking, every time you closed your eyes you saw the way Zayne’s eyes looked: pained, angry, cold.