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Clive was fifteen when his life fell apart. Realistically, he should have expected this outcome - especially considering how fickle his mother is. But how could he have predicted her to grow tired of her life with Clive’s family?
She had everything: a large mansion, a well-paid, kind husband with an abundantly successful corporation, and two loyal, beautiful sons. If even these things were not enough for her, what would be? When would her insatiable appetite be quenched…?
These were questions floating around in the back of Clive’s mind as his father dismissed him from the personal office in their house. Clive sighed deeply, replaying his father’s message in his head.
‘Your mother and I are separating. Permanently, this time.’
Emotions warred in his head. His eyes felt dry and teary at the same time, a strange combination. He was sad, but relieved. Angry, but calm. He mourned a mother, but not the mother he has now. Just… a mother.
He worried over the divorce. Would his mother take as much as she could from his father? Try to squeeze every penny she could get from him before her departure? Or would she suddenly disappear without a trace? Tired of her life with his family and desperate to leave as swiftly as possible? What of Joshua ?
The thought causes Clive to halt his steps to his bedroom. His eyes burning with unshed tears, he thinks of what might happen with custody over his brother. His mother could easily gain custody of him, as her smooth-talking has gotten her what she’s wanted for most of her life.
Clive put a hand to his face, forcing his breathing to return to normal. Should Joshua leave with his mother, he would never get the chance to speak with him again. He knew his mother would make sure of it.
As he rested his back against a wall, Clive listened as the pattering of small footsteps drew nearer. Sure enough, the boy in his thoughts bounded for him - heedless of the way their lives were going to change forever and oblivious to the internal war Clive was fighting.
Clive turned to his brother, whose eyes lit up in greeting. “Clive, I just caught a butterfly-” With overwhelming speed, Clive opened his arms to crush Joshua in a hug. The boy wheezed as he felt his older brother’s head lay heavily on top of his own, a question on his lips.
“C-Clive, is everything alright?” Joshua’s hands hovered outward, unsure of Clive’s sudden embrace. It was very unusual of his brother to initiate a hug like this, and he was more than slightly concerned, considering how tightly his brother was holding onto him.
Clive chuckled, trying to give his brother some assurance. He buried his grief to the back of his mind. “Can I not hug my younger brother?” The words were effective, as Joshua immediately wrapped his tiny arms around Clive’s waist.
“You can always hug me, Clive!” Joshua buried his head into Clive’s chest. He swore he could feel something wet on the top of his head, so quizzically he made an attempt to lift his eyes to Clive’s face. His movements were halted, though, as Clive pressed Joshua’s head back into his chest.
“Good,” he muttered, exhaling shakily as he embraced his little brother for what would be the last time. “Now, how about you show me that butterfly you caught? I hope you didn’t leave Torgal in the greenhouse with it…”
Joshua broke away from the hug. “Of course not! Jill is watching over Torgal. Come, let me show you...”
+++
Clive knew it was over once, a few days later, their mother came back with a stack of papers in hand. Her lips were curled in a smug grin as she glanced Clive’s way, if almost to gloat that his brother would be taken away from him.
The household was a mess that day, with servants hustling around to remove furniture and Joshua’s belongings. Clive could barely make his way through the mansion without bumping into someone. A few trucks were filled in the driveway outside, and Clive stared at them numbly for a moment before listening to a loud shriek in the entrance room.
Joshua , he thought frantically, rushing into a scene he never thought he would ever see.
For how composed his brother usually was, even in the face of his mother’s wrath, it was easy to forget just how young Joshua really was. His brother was completely disshiveled, forehead pressed to the floor as he screamed and cried. His left arm was pushed into the carpet as his right arm was being tugged on by his mother. Clive stared in horror at the scene as Anabella screamed at her youngest son. She was clearly affected by her son’s errant behavior, as if she did not expect that uprooting his life would cause him distress.
“This is unbecoming of you! Get off the floor this instant!” She shrieked at her child, tugging on his arm.
Joshua shook and cried, his body heaving. Clive could hear rattling in his little brother’s chest as he breathed. “I won’t! I won’t! You won’t make me leave!”
Elwin stood behind Joshua, tiredness in his gaze as his eyes moved to his oldest son. Clive stared at his father, feeling his insides churn. Joshua turned his head around on the floor, shouting at his father.
“How could you, father!? How, How could you?!” He wept brokenly, and Elwin finally knelt down to grab his youngest by the shoulders and pick him up.
“There were terms that needed to be met, son. This…arrangement…was made for the good of everyone here. Don’t cry, my boy,” Elwin brushed his fingers under Joshua’s eyes, uselessly pushing away his tears, “You will be able to visit us. Won’t that be nice?”
His words were unconvincing, leading Joshua to even more tears.
“Don’t lie to me!” the boy of ten cried.
Using the small break Elwin granted, Anabella regained her composure and stuck her foot in the small crack that was opened. Her silver tongue spoke to him. “Your father is not lying,” she said sweetly. “I’m not so heartless, Joshua! Do you think your mother would never allow you to see your father?”
Clive’s jaw set in a line as she did not even spare him a glance. It was as if he were not there. At that moment, Clive felt truly helpless as he observed dazedly.
Joshua’s tears began to subside, and with it came a vicious coughing fit that Anabella used to finally get him out of the house.
“He’s cried himself ill. I’ll take him to the hospital,” she promised with faux concern, ushering Joshua into her fancy car.
Clive could only stare as the car carrying his little brother drove away, a weight heavy on his chest and a buzzing in his ears. He never even had the chance to say goodbye.
+++
To further Clive’s misery, the years following the divorce were not kind to him or his father. Expetedly, Anabella cut off all forms of communication that both Elwin and Clive had to her and, in turn, Joshua.
Elwin had a sudden decline in health, which led him to the decision of moving into a smaller home near a hospital. Anabella’s countless servants were fired, including Jill, however, the servant who adopted her when she was at a young age still lived close to the Rosfields. Clive was eternally grateful that she was still by his side, through thick and thin.
Eventually, Elwin had to stay in the hospital permanently, and he gave up his company to Rodney Murdoch. In the coming months, Clive had to watch his father slowly grow paler and paler, and he neglected his grades in high school. If not for Jill helping him with notes from class, Clive would have never graduated. Elwin pleaded with his son to pursue his education through college, and so Clive agreed to leave. It was there that Elwin finally passed away, and Clive had to return home to see his father off. The day of the funeral was bleak, and Clive could only stand in front of his father’s coffin, wondering if his brother was even aware of what was happening.
+++
Time moved on, and as the years passed, Clive grew into himself. With the money left to Clive, he was able to comfortably take care of himself and his friends. Moving into neighboring apartments, he and Jill both flourished in careers they were both happy with.
It took Clive longer to find his footing than Jill did, having worked a couple odd jobs, staying at the theatre for a few years, then finding himself picking up the pen for a living. A metaphorical pen, that is, as his novels were written on his laptop in coffee shops at ungodly hours of the mornings.
Sometimes, as he stared at the birds pecking at the windows outside, he thought of Joshua.
Surely if I become popular enough, he might see my work…?
With an unrealistic hope, he continued writing until a strange man approached him at the coffee shop one day and sat in the chair opposite to him. Cid, his name was. With a promise of good publishing, Clive made a deal with the man and continued to work with him in the years to come.
+++
The day felt as monotonous as any fall day could when Clive saw his brother. Wired earbuds drowned out the noise of the crowds with music, and he tugged his messenger bag up his shoulder as it further slipped with each step. His eyes caught sight of a couple of workers putting up a new poster along the building in front of him, and as they added the final panel, his footsteps halted abruptly.
A man behind him bumped into his shoulder, and Clive absent-mindedly apologized to him as he jogged forward to get a better look at the poster. His breath halted as he gazed at what could only be his little brother - no longer so little anymore.
Before him, the poster depicted an up-and-coming model named ‘ the Phoenix .’ His strawberry-blonde hair curled around his face perfectly, highlighting the contours of his jawline. The Phoenix was a perfect name for him, Clive decided, as he noticed his brother’s eyes. The shape was so unique and striking that it took Clive’s breath away.
“Joshua,” Clive breathed reverently. The workers dispersed as their job hanging the poster was complete, and Clive could see the words along the bottom. Apparently, this poster was to advertise a new fall fashion show, with ‘the Phoenix’ as its main guest.
Has Joshua always been this popular? Clive could only think to himself dazzedly. With a quickened pace, he rushed home, kicked off his shoes, and plopped himself down on the couch in his living area.
Jill sat on the couch beside him, pausing the movie she was watching on Clive’s TV. It wasn’t uncommon for Clive to see her in his apartment, and vice versa, but with a quest in mind, he paid her no mind as he opened his laptop.
With no knowledge about modeling or fashion as a whole, the only words he typed into the browser were ‘the phoenix model.’ Thankfully, that was all he needed, as news articles and interview videos popped up left and right of the newly rising star.
Clive put his chin in his hand as he checked the dates on everything he scrolled past. “These are all new,” he muttered into the air.
Jill leaned forward, “Clive? What are you talking about?”
Finally glancing up, Clive chuckled breathlessly. “I found Joshua,” he smiled crookedly. At the mention of his name, Jill’s eyes lit up just as Torgal stood from his spot on the floor.
“You found Joshua? What do you mean by that?” She asked incredulously.
Clive flipped his laptop to show her a website for the fashion show advertised. “He’s going to be here , just in the coming weeks.”
Jill grabbed the laptop, eyes roaming the website. “A model? Joshua is a model ? Oh, Clive, you have to go to his show!”
A blush rose to Clive’s face as he rubbed his neck. “I would do anything to see Joshua again, but…I don’t even know how to get into one of those things. Don’t you need an invitation of some kind?”
Jill hummed, lost in thought. “You’re right, but,” her voice rose hesitantly. “I may know some people.” Clive’s eyes filled with hope, and Jill hurried to wave her hands in front of herself. “I-I don’t want to get your hopes up yet, but I’ll do what I can.”
Clive smiled, nudging Jill’s shoulder with his own. “I appreciate it, Jill, I really do. Whether I’m able to go or not.”
+++
The gods must have pitied Clive, or realized how much shit they put him through and decided to grant him a boon because by some miracle, Jill was able to secure a spot for Clive to enter the fashion show as a coworker’s plus one.
The weeks passed by quickly as Clive worked even more fervently on his current novel. Even Cid noticed the change in his mood, happy for his employee and, more importantly, his friend.
The only challenge was going shopping for something to wear. With a pocket full of money, Clive entered a handful of fancy-looking shops. Attempting (and failing) to avoid looking dumb, Clive entered each store with faux confidence, his gait calculated as he browsed hundreds of suits.
Settling for a black suit with crimson accents, Clive awkwardly took it home only for it to barely fit his chest. Even Jill had to laugh as she tried to help pull and stretch it to better fit Clive’s body.
“Joshua is going to think you a fool,” Jill laughed to herself. “I can’t believe you didn’t have one of the employees at the clothing store help you.”
Clive willed the blush off of his face. “I…was too nervous to ask.”
“Of course.” Jill stepped back to take in Clive’s appearance. “I think this should be fine,” she glanced at the clock on the wall. “You should be leaving now, though. My coworker will meet you at the doors.”
“Thank you again, Jill,” Clive nodded to her as he moved to grab his wallet and keys. With the wind under his heels, he walked down the street with a purpose. As he neared his destination, he was surrounded by people in visibly fancier attire than his own. A lady stood by the doors, her eyes browsing the people at the bottom of the stairs.
Jill’s coworker , Clive’s mind mindfully provided. He greeted the woman, thanking her for bringing him along. She smiled kindly, waving off his thanks. She would have come alone without Clive anyway.
Clive’s nerves were alight as they sat in the middle row of about a thousand people. He felt stiff in his suit, surrounded by people who were dressed to the nines in attire that would cost months of Clive’s salary alone. To make matters worse, he was slightly taller than most of the people around him, which made him stick out like a sore thumb.
With the host beginning an introductory speech, Clive waited with bated breath as men and women alike strutted down the catwalk. The lights were dimmed in the crowd, and Clive couldn’t have been more grateful, for it gave him a sense of privacy.
A strange feeling of nervousness began to settle over him as the show stretched on. Would Joshua even recognize him? Would there be time to talk to him after the show? Or would he leave immediately for another flight to somewhere else ?
More models circled around the walkway, some of them repeating in different outfits. None of them caught Clive’s eye, however, and he was becoming antsy. That is, until the spotlights turned from a fluorescent white to a bright orange. The crowd around him grew quiet as the stream of models suddenly stopped, and a new song started playing. The bass pounded with the beating of Clive’s heart as the next model came out.
Joshua, Clive’s heart sang, watching his little brother walk down the runway like he owned it - which, he very well might. His body was tailored with a cream colored turtleneck that accentuated his lithe frame. A fiery coat hugged his upper body, flaring out like a cape as he walked. A scarf loosely wrapped around his neck was suddenly taken into Joshua’s hands as he tossed the ends behind his body. With fabric so thin and sheer, the ends of the scarf floated behind him beautifully. The crowd around Clive let out a collective gasp before settling into silence, listening to the clicking of both the cameras and the Pheonix’s boots on the polished floor.
As he neared closer to the end of the walkway, his eyes flickered to Clive’s own. Clive dared not breathe as they saw each other, and with a silent gasp, he watched as Joshua’s steps faltered for a second until they broke eye contact. His brother snapped his eyes forward once more, and the crowds around him murmured at the model’s slip-up.
After a few moments, Joshua walked to the back of the stage and disappeared again. The crowd’s comments dulled as other models were brought back out. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that Joshua was back on the runway with another look. Each and every time he got to the halfway point of the catwalk, he would momentarily lock eyes with Clive before looking away. His expression was schooled into neutrality, but Clive swore he saw a glint in his brother’s eyes every time their gazes met.
It all felt surreal to Clive, but after getting used to seeing this older version of his brother, he suddenly felt like he could breathe a little better. It wasn’t until Joshua’s next appearance, as his eyes drifted down to the space beneath Clive’s throat, that Clive realized it was due to his tight suit bursting open at the chest. With his face aflame, Clive hunkered down and pulled his shoulders in to attempt to cover his chest. Unfortunately, all it seemed to accomplish was to show off his cleavage. Joshua’s cool demeanor was tested as he witnessed the spectacle, and the rate of cameras clicking went up exponentially as they all rushed to capture the rosy tint on Joshua’s cheeks.
Eventually, the show had to end, and Clive listened to the host’s final words until the lights on the crowds were back, and everyone started leaving the building. Jill’s coworker turned to Clive, whose brows were furrowed, thinking of ways to find Joshua and speak to him.
“Was the show to your liking? I will be taking my leave, but don’t let me stop you from mingling a little.”
Clive turned to her. “Will the models be available to speak with? Or, does that not usually happen?”
The woman chuckled slightly to herself. “I’m afraid that doesn’t happen, dear. I presume that the Phoenix will be interviewed by the host, but that is a private affair set to be released to the public at a different time.”
“I see.” Clive frowned, utterly disappointed. He thanked the lady once more for the opportunity and bid her farewell as he stood in the dwindling crowd of attendees. Cameramen and workers alike passed back and forth as they did their jobs while Clive stared at the back of the stage. Was there really nothing he could do to finally reunite with his brother?
With a heavy heart, he turned away and left the building. The cold air hit his naked chest, and he shivered slightly as embarrassment caught up to him again. He barely noticed as a woman glided next to him, mirroring his descent down the stairs. She had a brown jacket on, with a hood and scarf to match. Clive met her expectant eyes.
“Is there anything I can help you with?” he politely asked.
The girl smiled. “Actually, yes.” In her hand was a folded note, and she reached out to Clive’s hands to give it to him. “There is a message inside for you. Please, make sure to read it.” She spoke with warm urgency.
Clive’s eyes glimmered at her. His hands tightened over the note in his grasp. “I will,” he promised her.
The girl smiled, then lowered her head as she rushed back into the building.
Clive marched home, his thumb brushing over the paper in his hands comfortingly. He knew the contents must be from his brother - or, at the very least, he would allow himself to hope. Hope that Anabella’s influence has not poisoned his sweet brother enough to close him away from anything pedestrian or unimportant such as someone like himself. Hope that his brother would want to be a part of his life again, even after so much time had passed.
He breathed shakily as he entered his apartment, turning on the lights so he could read the note in his hands. He unfurled the paper, eyes taking in the impressively sharp penmanship. He started to read from the beginning.
Clive,
My hands are shaking as I am writing this. You cannot imagine how happy I am at this moment to have seen you today. I must meet with you tonight if possible. You will find me outside of the gallery where the show took place.
This is to say that my eyes did not deceive me, that is. Never would I imagine my Clive to be at one of these kinds of shows. If you truly are not my brother, please ignore this note.
Yours,
Joshua
With a deep breath, Clive held the note close to his chest. Joshua was happy to see me. His heart felt fit to burst, and he quickly made for his closet to change out of his torn suit into something more comfortable. The sun was setting quickly, and Clive wasted no time hurrying out the door (after feeding Torgal, that is) and making his way for the venue.
By the time he reached it, darkness had claimed the city. Before him stood a figure in a hood, leaning against the wall at the top of the stairs. He wore sunglasses even though the only source of light around was a dying lamppost. Clive all but ran up the stairs, coming a few steps away from what he hoped to be his brother.
The man before him kicked off of the wall and removed his sunglasses. Behind them were wide ocean-blue eyes and a kind smile that spoke a thousand words.
“...Clive?” his gentle lips parted with a voice so angelic and intoxicatingly familiar that it made something deep within Clive break. With a stinging sensation, he finally allowed the tears he held back to come forth. He took one step forward, then another, and another toward his brother, who did the same. They collided as Clive wrapped his arms around his brother’s waist, and Joshua wrapped his arms around Clive’s shoulders. They wept into each other’s embrace as the overwhelming feeling of joy and grief alike overtook them. So many years they were parted from each other - so many years of each other’s lives they missed…
It was Joshua who pulled away from the embrace first, his face now covered in snot and tears as he desperately attempted to wipe them away in his sleeves. Clive was not much better in that regard, but instead of cleaning up his image, he used his thumbs to help wipe away Joshua’s tears.
“Brother,” Joshua croaked.
“Shh,” Clive comforted, “It’s me. I’ve got you, Joshua. I’m not letting you go again.” Joshua smiled lopsidedly at the comment.
“As I am not letting you go, brother,” he swore, holding Clive’s wrist in his hand. Clive slid his arm down, letting Joshua intertwine their fingers together.
Clive shook his head slightly. “Where have you been all this time…?” he whispered.
Joshua looked down before gazing back into his brother’s eyes. “It is a long story, but the short end of it is that Mother did her best to lock me away. That is, until she grew tired of me. She left for bigger and better things. I believe she grew tired of my illnesses. Although, she did introduce me to the world of modeling. For that, I have to thank her. She allowed me to make a name for myself.”
Fury overtook Clive’s features. “She abandoned you,” he posed it not as a question, but a statement. His free hand curled into a fist, but Joshua moved his hand to cradle Clive’s fist.
“It’s alright now, Clive. Please, don’t be upset. Everything that has transpired has led to this moment, and for that, I couldn’t be happier.” His eyes shone with unshed tears as the smile on his lips crescented his eyes.
Breathing deeply through his nose, Clive forced himself to forget about his wicked mother. He squeezed their intertwined fingers and attempted a watery smile back at his brother. Before he could speak again, Joshua beat him to it.
“I must say, I didn’t expect my brother to show up to one of my shows in poorly fitted attire. The other models couldn’t stop talking about your glorious chest, it truly was the wildfire topic backstage.” A strange look passed over Joshua’s face. Not completely humorus, but with a spark of something deeper in his eyes.
A blush crept its way up Clive’s face as he tried to defend himself. “It’s as you said in your note. I only showed up to see you, and I rushed to get some proper attire just before the show. Unfortunately, it was a bit snug on me.”
“Indeed,” Joshua’s voice dropped low before he cleared his throat and righted himself proper again. “When did you move here, Clive? Is father here? I attempted to reach out to our old home, but was made quickly aware that someone else was living in it.”
With a dry mouth, Clive opened up to his brother. “I’m afraid…father has passed away, Joshua. Just a few years back.”
Joshua’s eyes closed in pain. “I…didn’t want to imagine that outcome, but I researched father’s old company and learned that it was sold off. The name was changed and everything…”
Clive nodded. “It was passed over to Murdoch, who must have sold it to someone else. After father passed, I didn't bother to keep track of what happened to it. I should have known you’d look into his company,” Clive palmed at his head, clenching a fist of hair in his hand. “I was negligent of so many things…”
“Clive,” Joshua pleaded. “It's alright. I promise you, it's all okay. You know why?”
“...Because you're here,” Clive answered. “We're here together.”
Joshua nodded. “That's right. You cannot blame yourself for anything that happened. It was never our faults.”
Clive sighed. “You're right, Joshua,” he conceded. “When did you become so wise?” His lips upturned slightly in the beginnings of a smile.
“I tend to spend my time at the library?” He posed it as a question, a shrug to his shoulders. “Either that, or it just comes with age.”
“Then I'm not nearly old enough yet,” Clive said gravely.
“Ha!” His statement punched a laugh out of Joshua. “Come now, brother, don’t sell yourself so short.”
“You just witnessed me break an expensive suit with nothing but my pectorals 'cause I was afraid to ask the shop for a tailored suit,” he deadpanned.
Joshua looked down and started laughing, biting his tongue to will himself to stop. Clive felt a smile creeping onto his face despite himself. “You just laugh it up, Joshua. I suffer for my idiocy.”
Joshua wiped at his eyes, tears forming from his stifled laughter. “You really do, it seems. But seriously, Clive, you could’ve asked for your size! That poor suit never stood a chance.”
Clive groaned, rubbing at his temple. “Can we move on from this topic already?” He exhaled deeply, and glanced at Joshua with a softness in his gaze. “Listen, I don’t know exactly how long you’ll be staying in the city, but would you like to come by my apartment tonight? It’s not much, but… I’d like to show it to you. Catch up with you properly.”
Joshua’s face flickered with surprise before settling into something warm. “I’d love to,” he said. “I’d love that a lot, actually. Can we?” He gestured for them to start walking, and Clive eagerly nodded.
“It’s not a far way from here. Just a dozen or so minutes.”
Their conversation stayed to lighthearted banter, touching on old memories, books Joshua had been reading, and Clive’s gripes about a particular neighbor who insisted on playing her cello at ungodly hours of the morning. Just as Clive said, it wasn’t long until they arrived at an apartment building tucked between two larger ones, its exterior well-maintained but straightforward.
Clive led the way up into an elevator and down a quiet hall before stopping at a dark wooden door. Fishing his keys from his pocket, he unlocked it with a quiet click, and pushed it open.
“Torgal, I’m home,” he said casually. The sound of heavy pawprints came trotting into the living room as Joshua’s eyes widened.
“T-Torgal? Torgal is here?” He stepped into the apartment hesitantly as Torgal came into view. The wolf-dog let out a deep whine as his tail wagged behind him, his front paws tapping impatiently on the floor.
“Ah, yes. I suppose I forgot to mention that…” Clive rubbed a hand against the back of his neck as his brother slowly walked to meet Torgal.
With a hand extended, Joshua allowed Torgal to sniff him. Constant whines fell from Torgal’s jaws until Joshua brushed the back of his hand against the wolf-dog’s mane. Torgal’s tail thumped against a barstool’s legs as excitement overtook him. In that moment, he was no longer the composed hound he had grown into, but the small puppy raised in a mansion in the countryside.
Likewise, Joshua was in awe of the hound before him, his responsibilities and fears long behind him as he felt like a child once more. “Hello, old friend,” he greeted softly, brushing his fingers through Torgal’s coarse fur. “Haven’t you grown to be a beautiful thing? Has Clive been taking good care of you? Has he, boy?”
Joshua scratched Torgal’s back as he barked in affirmation. Clive spoke up from his spot leaning against the kitchen counter. “Of course I have! You know, typically, this apartment complex wouldn’t allow large dogs, but the landlady herself met Torgal and fell in love with him. Actually, she frequents my apartment often just to chat and try to convince me to go out with her daughter…”
Joshua snapped out of his trance with Torgal, and raised an eyebrow in Clive’s direction. “Oh? Has my brother amassed a following of admirers with his rugged good locks and knack for flashing his chest in public?”
“ Joshua -” Clive’s eyebrow twitched at the last few words of Joshua’s sentence. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “You are the last person to say anything about having admirers . Have you seen yourself? My brother, a beautiful model with his face plastered everywhere? I’ve seen some of the things your fans are saying about you online. It's just about enough to make any stone-faced man blush like a beetroot.”
Joshua put his face in his hands, groaning loudly. “You’ve read what they’ve been saying about me? Oh, may the founder come and kill me now…”
“None of that, Joshua. I’m relieved that you have a dedicated fanbase, regardless of their… eccentricism.” He walked behind the kitchen island, opening his fridge. “Would you care for something to drink?”
Joshua’s eyes brightened. “Sure! I’ll take anything you have,” he said assuredly.
“Don’t say that,” Clive laughed. “I’ve got a bottle of vegetable juice in here.”
Joshua winced. “Soda is fine with me, then…” He gazed around Clive’s room, taking in the small details that screamed of his brother. The large bookshelf lining one of the walls interested him the most, and he started flipping through each book as he spoke absent-mindedly. “Seriously, why would you ever have that junk…”
Clive chuckled to himself, reaching into the fridge for a couple cans of pop. When he next glanced at his brother, the smile on his face slipped away. Joshua seemed to be glaring a hole into a bright periwinkle jacket hanging on the back of his couch.
“Clive?” his brother inquired. “Whose jacket is this?”
Clive laughed dryly. How can I keep forgetting to tell Joshua these things? “That’s Jill’s,” he spoke happily. To Clive’s surprise, Joshua’s demeanor did not brighten at the mention of her name. If anything, it seemed to sour his little brother’s mood even further.
“Ah, I see. So you and her…?” There was no way around it; the voice that came out of his Joshua’s mouth was certainly bitter, and the stark contrast of tones from the earlier conversation caught Clive off guard more than anything his brother has done yet.
“We don’t live together, Joshua, it's not like that,” he felt the need to hastily clarify, if only to appease his brother. But why? Why would this bother him so much? “She lives in the apartment next door, and we often visit each other.”
With a calculated gait, Joshua grabbed Jill’s jacket and moved to hang it on an empty hook on Clive’s coat hanger. “I understand now,” Joshua said with a slightly less chilling tone.
Was that what was bothering him? Clive thought to himself. “I…can make sure Jill hangs up her jacket next time so it doesn’t get ruined, Joshua. Is that bothersome for a fashion model such as yourself?” He chuckled to make light of the strange situation.
“Sure, Clive,” Joshua said flatly, sparing the jacket one last glance before resuming his focus on his brother. “Although, I am glad that Jill could spend time with you in my stead. You cannot tell me that you made many new friends in high school.”
Clive cracked his neck. “You got me there…It was really just me and Jill until adulthood. You meet a lot of strange people in a city like this, though, I’ll tell you that.” They both settled on Clive’s couch, side by side, as they talked. “Tell me, have you made any friends in the modeling business? Please don’t tell me that mother refused to let you speak with anyone,” he pleaded.
Joshua shook his head. “Mother never encouraged friends, as you might imagine, but that isn’t to say that I didn’t make any friends. The girl that passed along my message to you, for example, was one of them. Her name is Jote, and she actually now works as my assistant.”
Clive’s eyes widened. “That’s wonderful, Joshua. She seemed like a very genuine woman.”
“She is,” Joshua nodded. “I owe her a lot.”
“Would that I could have been with you all these years,” his voice dropped lower as a melancholy fell over him. Joshua reached out and brushed his fingers against Clive’s. Ever so gently, they intertwined. “You’ve grown to be a fine man, and I wish that I could have been there for every step of the way.” Joshua opened his mouth to speak, but Clive beat him to it. “We will be making up for lost time, though. You can trust me on that one.” Clive smirked at Joshua, and his brother turned a shade pink at the sight. “If you say that you will be in town for the next couple weeks, I will see to it that you have a wonderful brother to guide you around wherever you want to go.”
“Clive,” Joshua said breathlessly. “I would love nothing more than to spend these next few weeks with you,” he reached out to take Clive’s hand in his own. “Clear your schedule for the next dozen evenings, because you’ll be sick of me by the time this is over. By the last day, you’ll be pushing me out the door and telling me to never come back.”
Clive snorted. “Ridiculous. You’ll be hopping on an airplane, thanking Metia that you won’t be forced to spend time with me ever again.”
Joshua laughed, their playful banter filling the quiet apartment. The weight of years lost still lingered between them, but it no longer felt like a crushing weight, not when they had the moments ahead of them, and not when they had each other.
The night stretched on as they talked, and their conversation weaved between past and present. They mapped out plans for the days ahead, from visiting grand libraries to exploring new places to eat. Every now and then, their hands would shift slightly, but neither pulled away, their fingers remaining interlaced as if to silently promise that they were never going to let go of each other again.
Eventually, as the clock on the wall reminded them of how much time had passed and the noise of the city softened into a dull buzz of distant traffic, Joshua leaned back with a sigh, a peaceful smile on his face. “I’m so happy to be here with you now, Clive,” he murmured.
Clive gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Me too, Joshua.”
And for the first time in years, they both felt their worries fade away as they were able to enjoy the present - and more importantly, the future they had together.