Chapter Text
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Shadow milk cookie.
The ultimate cookie of deceit, the brains of the beast cookies, the master manipulator, the cookie behind the strings…..
….is bored out of his mind!
But seriously though, apart from his ‘grand’ evil plans and whatnot, what the hell was he supposed to do here? After he FINALLT got his full cookie body back, he had realized one important fact.
These new modern kingdoms suck!!
For starters, the Hollyberry kingdom is just FULL of royalty and nobles who do nothing more except boast about themselves! The place is also FILLED with lesbians. At first glance the place would look more like a shitty pride parade than a kingdom, really.
The citizens there are so judgmental and salty, well, not that its a problem for shadow milk cookie since he enjoyed drama. But it gets boring considering that they dont really do anything besides judging aboit the same stuff.
And second, the dark cacao kingdom. The snow there is SO intense but the place in question is so underwhelming. The whole kingdom feels like a ghost town since mister resolution was hiding in his room all the time like a little bitch, speaking of the that coward. He wasnt even active until mystic flour cookie stepped up! What a drag.
Lastly, the kingdom with that other cookie….what was the name again? The kingdom is just THAT irrelevant that shadow milk cookie couldn't even remember the name. The kingdom from the cookie of abundance, her kingdom isnt even fucking real! Its quite literally ai generated.
sigh.
okay, enough complaining.
Shadow milk cookie floats around in his realm empire place (idfk what its called). He spots black sapphire cookie and candy apple cookie arguing about something, its probably just them bickering about whos the better servant. Typical.
He didnt care enough to interfere. The beast decides to open a portal to the different location. For fresh air and stuff. He steps in the pitch black portal and finds himself in an unfamiliar forest.
Wait…forest?
That reminds him of a certain green cookie.
shadow milk cookie thinks about their last interaction, he remembers that at the time he didnt have his full cookie body yet….
he wonders how greenie would react to his new form.
anyways..shadow milk cookie slowly lands on the soft, slightly warm grass. It annoys him of how peaceful this stupid forest is…
“Hmm..”
“Yk..it would be HILARIOUS if this forest suddenly bursted into flames..”
..
Shadow milk cookie opens a portal next to him and ATTEMPTS to pull out a can of gasoline, but pulls out a stupid rabbit puppet instead. He looks at it with an annoyed expression and puts it back.
Shadow milk cookie groans as he moves his hand around inside the portal as if it was a huge bag or something. At this point in his day, he was expecting something.
or atleast, someONE
He could actually sense a cookie coming his way, on high speed too. This was all part of the script. HIS script.
He feels…a tinge of excitement inside him.
‘This could be fun’ he thought to himself.
the cookie stopped somewhere nearby.
Shadow milk cookie hears someone sneaking around behind a tree, he pretended not to notice, because wheres the fun if he spoiled it? The cookie is slowly walking up closer to him with caution, obviously planning on attacking him.
Shadow milk cookie was trying his best to hold in his laughter
‘Oh man, who could this cookie behind me so POSSIBLY be’ he thought to himself sarcastically. ‘who could this VERY mysterious cookie be! That just so HAPPENS to be in this specific forest!’
The cookie shoots out a mystical arrow at him and when it was ABOUT to hit him, shadow milk cookie swiftly moves away. Being all nonchalant with it too (ew). Shadow milk cookie pretends to be surprised to see the cookie behind him.
Wind archer cookie.
Wind archer was taken aback by shadow milk cookies quick movements. It was smooth, almost like his movements were calculated in that EXACT way. (Well it actually is)
“UH OH! Whats this now? Where are ur manners archie? Dont you know its rude to sneak up on people like that?” Shadow milk cookie calls out in a rather dramatic way. He smiles excitedly at the cookie.
Wind archer cookie has this upset expression on his fave, he was obviously displeased on the mere sight of shadow milk being here. “you..you again..! I thought u were gone…why are u here..?” he asks with an arrow pointing towards the blue guy.
Shadow milk cookie couldnt help but giggle, finally, some sort of entertainment! He starts floating without realizing it, and comes face to face with wind archer cookie.
“What do you mean archie warchie?” Shadow milk cookie rests his arm around wind archer cookie, wind archer slaps his arm away and steps back in disgust.
wind archer notices he can actually touch him, he has a body now..he doesnt say anything about it, but he is clearly surprised.
“You know what i mean. IM the guardian of the forest..are u here to taunt me..? Or are u trying to hurt the forest life out here!” Wind archer cookie had this serious expression on his face that made shadow milk cookie smile in a twisted way.
“Woah woah pal! Dont flatter yourself. Im not here specifically for you..” he said in a defensively , floating in circles around wind archer cookie playfully.
Well, that was kinda a lie. Yes, indeed shadow milk cookie didnt come here SPECIFICALLY with wind archer in mind…
BUUUT ‘hurting’ the forest life was definitely something he had in mind, and wind archer was part of the forest so it was a mix of lie and truth.
‘Hmm, what should the cookie of deceit do? I feel like i should do something with him..’ Shadow milk cooke narrated in his own head. He turned his back away from wind archer cookie.
An idea popped up in his head.
shadow milk cookie smirks and turns back to face wind archer cookie.
shadow milk cookie cleared his throat. “Well, since my little green friend is already here i DO infact have something to ask you-“
”whatever it is, i wont tell you. Unless u explain in great detail why u even showed up here.” He spits out, not wanting to entertain the beast any further.
“Sheesh, a bit dramatic? Oh well! I guess it cant be helped.”
wind archer cookie prepared himself for whatever nonsense shadow milk cookie was planninh.
”since you want to jnow why im here OH-SO BADLY! Ill tell ya~ since im so nice and stuff!”
ehem
“You see~ Im actually here to..uhhmm..track down a certain elemental cookie…~!”
That was a lie, but wind archer fully took it. Wind archer isnt a dense or a naive cookie, but he has a soft spot when it comes to his beloved friends..
Shadow milk cookie sees this ‘soft spot’ as a ‘weak spot’, he wasnt actually interested in any of them he just wanted a reaction out of wind archer cookie. Reactions from cookies were always funny to him.
“YOU…DONT U DARE COME NEAR ANY OF MY FRIENDS!!”
Shadow milk cookie already knew he would get mad, but seeing his angry face in person made him giggle uncontrollably. Its hilarious!
“Heh..hahaHAHAHA! OH, OH THIS IS CUTE! Has anyone ever told you how cute u were? Its pathetic!!!”
Shadow milk comes closer to wind archer, obviously trying to taunt him. He starts giggling again in excitement. The beast doesnt completely know why he was so excited in the first place, he didnt know why but he likes the fuzzy feeling inside.
Wind archer takes a few steps back, getting cornered up to a tree, shadow milk is getting more in his personal space.
“What greenie, did u REALLY think i came all the way over here to taunt you?”
Wind archer was taken aback by that sudden question.
“No.. i was just wondering..”
Shadow milk cookies eyes lit up, his smile widened creepily.
“OOOoOoohh! So you were thinking about me? What archie, did ya perhaps…MISS ME?”
“No..? Obviously not.”
Shadow milk cookie pretends to be heartbroken by that statement. He falls down dramatically and puts his hand on his eyes.
“OUCH! OOOHH MY HEART! IT HURTS! You couldn’t choose a better way to word out yer feelings? Im hurt greenie!”
Wind archer was already getting sick of his stupid remarks. He points his bow and arrow at him, making shadow milk cookies frown slightly. He puts his hand on the tip of the arrow that was pointing at him, moving it back.
His face and tone turned serious all of the sudden, this was only to scare archie. He wasnt truly upset at him.
“Hey greenski, i thought we were just having fun.”
Shadow milk moves his head up to wind archers face, taunting him up close.
Wind archer cookie feels very uncomfortable having shadow milk cookie so close to his face. He turns his face away from shadow milk cookie to avoid eye contact, his eyes are genuinely creepy.
that makes shadow milk cookie frown even more. He wanted greenie to look at him.
he tilts wind archer cookies green face towards his, still staring at him.
”now, now…i told you why i was here..so you better answer that question i had in mind..” he whispers. Putting both hands onto the tree, putting wind archer cookie in between.
Wind archer cookie feels…not that intimidated for some reason? “..okay…its only fair….i suppose-“
“Im gonna give u two choices. If you had to choose between ur precious forest or your own wellbeing, what would u choose..~?”
wind archer looks at him somewhat confused, that confusion instantly turns into horror when shadow milk makes a bunch or gasoline cans appear above them.
Shadow milk cookie somehow finally got the gasoline cans he was looking for!
There were atleast a few dozen from what the guardian could tell, more if wind archer could see them all. The gasoline cans were scattered above the forest, the cans simply just floating and not poured(yet).
”wait...”
”dont tell me u plan on setting the forest ablaze???” He yells out, pushing the beast cookie off of him without thinking and takes a better look.
yea theres definitely more than a dozen cans floating in the air.
shadow milk cookie walks up behind him, he was giggling to himself. “Oh, really captain obvious? You really figured that one out.” He laughs out, wind archer cookie turns back to him and grabbed him by his ruff (the frilly thing on his neck). He pulls him up closer towarfs himself in rage. “YOU FOUL BEAST..DONT YOU DARE HURT THE FOREST…I WONT..EVER…..FORGIVE YOU, I WONT EVER LET U ROAM FREE IF YOU DO-“
”-hey hey Archie Warchie! I didnt do anything YET because i gave you choices! TWO choices!” Shadow milk cookie has his hands up in a surrendering position.
wind archer cookie lets go of him, still pretty mad that shadow milk cookie had to pull out multiple cans of gasoline for this stupid question…But he thinks about it.
”you…i..if i had to choose i would choose the forest…” he says without hesitation, he turns away from him slightly. “its more important than anything ive known and I know i would never forgive myself if something happened to the forest and the life within it. As the guardian of the forest i will do anything for-“
”BLA BLA BLA OKAY I GET IT, u couldve just said forest, geez.” Shadow milk cookie yawns showing his disinterest in his blabbering. He claps his hand.
“Since you’ve made ur choice~….”
He very abruptly picks wind archer cookie up and carries him, bridal style. Wind archer cookie gets startled by this sudden movement, he remains wary of him and on high alert.
wait
Shadow milk cookie starts floating upwards with wind archer in his arms, they end up somewhere above the forest.
huh
‘What on earthbread is he planning now?’
Wind archer looks down in relief when all the gasoline cans disappears. Shadow milk cookie opens up a portal for some reason and when he was ABOUT to step in, wind archer cookie pushes himself away from him while still being in his arms. He creates space between the two awkwardly.
”WAIT WAIT WAIT- what are you doing??”
shadow milk smiles sweetly and looks down at the cookie in his arms. “Im taking you home, archie. U made ur choice remember?” Wind archer looks confused once again.
”what..??”
“i gave u two choices and u choose the forest over yourself.”
wind archer cookie didnt get it, which only made shadow milk cookie cackle.
”HAH, oh dear archie! Dont tell me u still dont understand?”
Shadow milk cookie leans in over to the confused cookie’s face, he leans his head over archies shoulder with a sweet smile. Obviously, taht ‘sweet’ smile was just to cover up whatever sick plans he had.
wind archer cookie frowns. He pushes shadow milk cookies face away from his own. “Oh please, enlighten me.” He says sarcastically. Shadow milk cookie looks pleasantly surprised.
”i didnt know u could be sarcastic, hilarious! Anyways to explain in easier terms for ur little brain, i gave ur two choices and u chose to save the forest. So instead of burning the forest up i now get to have ur well-being!”
”p a r d o n…?”
shadow milk cookie smiles and hops into the portal along with wind archer cookie. They end up in his realm, everything being pretty blue and it had a weitd circus-like atmosphere there.
wind archer cookie looks down horrified, he’s supposed to be the fearless hero…so why was he so intimidated by this place..?
wind archer takes in his surroundings, in every corner he saw eyes staring back at him..the very same eyes like the ones on shadow milk cookies hair/hat(how do i even describe his hair). He subconsciously holds onto shadow milk cookie, his grip getting tighter as he feels a bit overwhelmed in this realm.
shadow milk cookie notices this, he doesnt have a snide remark this time. The blue cookie has this weird and gross feeling all of the sudden…
Would it be weird if he wanted to hold him closer
Yea, ew, what is he thinking..? This must be some sort of sign of weakness or something…forget it.
He brings wind archer cookie to a bedroom, its probably not shadow milk cookies own personal bedroom. He wouldn’t be stupid enough to bring wind archer cookie there, right? That would be ridiculous.
”what..are we doing here..?”
”oh, well since i own you now-“
”pardon?”
Wind archef looks bewildered at that. Shadow milk cookie simply shrugs and the cookie on the bed, laying down next to him casually. He digs his legs into the blue bedsheets, getting comfortable.
”you~ my dear friend, u are MY property now.”
a bell rings in wind archer cookies head.
”are u talking about that stupid question u had?” Wind archef cookie asks trying very hard to remain calm. Shadow milk cookie nods. “BIIINNGGO!!”
”wait wait wait wait…hold on, that isn’t fair. You said ‘IF’ i had to choose. U never said u meant it literally!” He objected, shadow milk cookie smiles at him innocently. “Well, i mean, i AM the cookie of deceit-“
”THAT DOESNT PROVE ANYTHING, YOU asked me a HYPOTHETICAL question..and FORCED me to answer. So how is this-“
shadow milk cookie simply sticks his tongue out at him slightly and climbs on top of him, straddling him in place. He looks down at him with bad intentions. He gently removes that green scarf greenie was wearing and puts it aside. His cookie neck looks so soft, he could easily crumble it.
“what..what are-“ shadow milk cookie places his finger on wind archers mouth, shushing him as he uses his other hand to stroke his hair.
”you ARE mine. Wait scrap that, you ARE MY property now. Im simply taking in ur features to remember u! Something like that i guess.”
shadow milk cookie is thinking about taking a bite out of his neck, teasing him since he feels like that could be funny torturing this poor guy.
but wind archer cookie misreads this this action, he assumes shadow milk cookie is gonna strangle him since he was ‘his property’ now or whatever.
he feels the urge to push him off…he feels very uncomfortable..
yet he also feels something else, something he cant quite explain…
it feels gross having shadow milk cookie on top of him like this
he wants to know what his intentions are…SO badly, he doesnt want to care about any of this, he really doesnt. But curiosity is taking over him.
he needs to know what hes planning..
he needs to know why hes doing this…
he needs to stay away from him…..
he needs to…
He needs to escape somehow.
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