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Dear Dad,
Sorry I stood out late last night. I was cleaning up the place when suddenly these men with fedoras and black coats came in and took me away. They didn’t hurt me or anything, but they did had to stop me from yelling so they hit me pretty hard on my head. I think I have a concussion, but they’re treating it so I guess it’s fine?
I asked about why they took me and they said they just wanted pizza. I asked them why they couldn’t just ask for some, and they just looked at each other. I don’t think they really thought too far ahead. I asked them if I could at least call work and tell my boss I wouldn’t be there, but the big guy (he called himself Mafioso) told me he’d take care of it.
Dad, what the hell did they do to the pizza place???
I hope they didn’t destroy it or anything, what the hell am I supposed to do for a living if my workplace is gone? It’ll be worse than the time c00lkidd set the place on fire. At least then it could be put out and put back together.
The big guy hasn’t let me leave bed until my head heals from the (probably) concussion I got. Speaking of the big guy, Dad, you have got to tell me if this guy even sounds familiar.
He has bunny ears of some kind, a massive coat with fluff at the top and in general he’s massive . His fedora sort of shadows his face, so I can’t make out any facial features that might help other than his smile (which, for the record, is WEIRD). He has a ton of bunnies with him for some reason. I can’t tell if I should be scared for my life or not.
So, yeah. Sorry for not coming home tonight Dad. If all goes well, you might get a note from these guys about ransom money or something. Maybe they’ll just let me go home after they’re satisfied with the amount of pizza they get fed. Worst case scenario, I probably die. Can you tell Mia she’s still not allowed near my computer?
Love, Elliot.