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An undercover cop posing as a creepy man in a park late at night. It’s all it took for Ajax to get arrested and thrown in jail. Of course she was enraged by the whole situation. She knew she fucked up but honestly this whole night pissed her off to no end. First they had to travel unarmed to the goddamn Bronx, then Cyrus got shot, then Cleon disappeared and this random chick started following them while Swan did nothing at all. Ajax couldn’t start thinking about Cleon now, not while she was in the back of a cop car driving towards her place for the night. It was still too fresh and just thinking of not thinking of it made her eyes burn. So she kept her mind on Mercy and how annoying she was. To be fair, she did help them a lot with the Furies and from what Ajax could see, she did get Swan the hell away from the cops. Which on one side was very good cause that meant that Swan would probably be able to escape, but on the other side was bad cause Ajax really didn’t vibe with Swan being all lovey-dovey with a rando from the Orphans.
Ajax kept making herself mad by replaying the event of that night in her head over and over during the whole ride. Once they arrived at the county jail, she was straight up fuming. She tried to bite and kick the cop that was charged with bringing her inside resulting in her receiving another beating. She quickly got shoved inside a cell still in handcuffs and fell hard on the cold floor protesting and trying to get up as fast as possible. Unfortunately for her, some other gang members got arrested that night and were still under the impression the Warriors killed Cyrus. As a member of the Moon Runners and one of the Jones Street Boys approached her, Ajax could only muttered a small “Fuck”.
The cops only intervened when Ajax screaming stopped. At this point, she was lying in a small pool of her own blood, her breathing was heavy and labored. The metal cuffs had dug into her wrists leaving a deep mark in her skin and one of her eyes was closed shut from swelling. Her lips were busted open and she felt like her nose and probably a few ribs were broken. One of the policemen opened the cell door, making the other gang members step away from Ajax, and poked her in the ribs with the tip of his foot. “Get up.” Ajax tried glaring at him but moving was too painful, so she simply spit out in a dry and raspy voice “Can’t”. The man laughed a greasy laugh and lifted the Warrior by the arm. Against her best effort to keep it in, Ajax let out a painful groan. “Let’s go, we don’t want your death on our hands do we” the cop teased with a sadistic grin while he pulled on Ajax arm to make her follow him. She had nowhere to go, no escape plan, so she hobbled behind him as best as she could, biting her tongue to not yelp in agony with every step.
The man took her to a tiny room that could barely pass for an infirmary. The room was painted in the same boring grey color as the rest of the establishment. The only furniture in it was a desk stuck on the wall, three cupboards probably filled with medical supplies, an uncomfortable looking chair and a clinic examination bed covered with white paper. The policeman made Ajax step in front of him and finally freed her from the metal cuffs. He pushed her to make her sit down on the bed. They stared at each other for a few seconds before the cop spoke up “Stay here and don’t even think about running away punk”. He left the room, locking up the door behind him, leaving Ajax all by herself.
It was still hard for her to breath but she was relieved her arms were finally free. She took mental note of every bone and muscle that made her suffer as she passed shaky fingers over her face and torso. Once she knew she was in no shape to move quickly or fight anyone, she looked around the room, nervous of what would happen next. Would they treat her worst injuries and send her back to the wolves? Would they keep her here for the entire night, alone with her thoughts?
Before her mind could spiral even more, a scrawny looking man opened the door, his back to Ajax as he finished talking to the cop that brought her in. “No need for reinforcement, she doesn’t look in good enough shape to be dangerous right now. Just let me do my job and I’ll give her back to you”. Ajax heard the cop grumble something that sounded like “fine” before the scrawny man closed the door, turned to her and smiled the kind of smile you give a kid to reassure them after they fell on the playground. She already hated him and it got worse when he started talking. “Hi, I’m Evan. I’m in charge of making you feel better but for that I will need little information. Let’s begin with an easy question. What’s your name?”
She let the question hang in the air, not in the mood to be a good little patient.
“Sorry, maybe you didn’t hear me. I asked you your name miss…?”
She kept her silence.
“I really do need to put something on here”
Knowing he would probably not stop asking until she said anything, she finally answered in a hoarse voice “Ajax”.
She watched as Evan took a long pause, deciding if he should write that down on his form. She grinned and added “It’s spelled A. J. A. X.”. The man looked at her then back at his piece of paper and he sighed as he wrote down the name.
“So miss Ajax -”
“It’s just Ajax. Asshole” the brawler interrupted with a smirk that quickly turned into a grimace of pain as her lip split open a bit more.
The man loudly cleared his throat before continuing “So Ajax, I see you’re in pain.” “No shit” she cut in, feeling her forces leave her more and more every passing second.“I can probably prescribe you something to help with it but first I need to know. Did you take any type of drugs today?”
“Dude I’m not an idiot just give me something, anything so I don’t fucking die here!” her already thin patience was at its end. The ribs jabbing in her lungs everytime she took a breath, the constant ringing in her head and the sharp pain all over her jaw didn’t help keeping her calm.
The man put down his notepad and pinched his nose. “Listen Ajax, I’m probably the only person here trying to help you even a little. So I’ll give you something right now but then you have to collaborate alright?” Ajax barely nodded, her vision getting slightly blurry. Evan walked to one of the cupboards to take out a small bottle of pills as he muttered to himself “that should do for now” before he heard a loud thud. When he turned back, Ajax was lying on the floor unconscious.
Next thing Ajax knew, she was handcuffed to a hospital bed in a white room. There were a bunch of machines she couldn’t name around her and two cops playing cards on a tiny round table in the corner of the room. As she tried to breath in she choked on a large tube stuck in her throat. For a few seconds she felt like she was dying, panic taking over her body. She tried ripping the tube out of her but she couldn’t lift her hands high enough. So she did the next best thing she could think of and trashed around until the cops in the room looked at her and called for a nurse.
The hospital staff took quick care of her and she could breath on her own in no time. Thanks to the morphine they had injected her, Ajax felt pretty relaxed and most of her pain had faded. She almost didn’t mind the two cops still on the other side of the room staring in her direction. She still gave them the finger as she felt herself drifting to sleep.
She was woken up by an old man in a white coat, possibly her doctor, an hour later. The doctor had asked for the cops to step outside for an instant wanting to talk with her in private. Ajax instantly got anxious, it couldn’t be good news. The old man started talking to her, explaining every injury she had, broken bones, perforated lungs, head trauma, ect. That was all fine and dandy, she survived worse before, until he mentioned something about her shoulder being impossible to fix. She tried to talk but her throat was too dry. The doctor noticed and rapidly brought her a paper glass of water and waited for her to drink it.
She down the water and smacked her lips together twice before asking “What the fuck do you mean unreparable damage?”
“Well you see, repeated shocks and bad movement made the ligament in your shoulder loose therefore any quick movement or attempt to lift your arm above the height of your shoulder will be incredibly painful. We can recommend a few good physiotherapists if…” the doctor kept talking but Ajax stopped listening. Being able to fully use your arms was a pretty big part of being an enforcer. How the fuck was she supposed to do her job if she couldn’t punch people without inflicting herself more pain? Would Cleon even keep her in if she couldn’t do her job? No, not Cleon. Swan would probably be the one in charge now with Cleon gone and everything. Ajax realised she hadn’t thought about Cleon since she was in the back of the cop car that night. Tears started flowing from her eyes without her being able to do anything to stop them. The doctor seemed accustomed to this kind of reaction but Ajax didn’t care. All she cared about in this instant was all she had lost in one fucking night.
Lost in her though, Ajax hadn’t realised she had been silently sobbing for half an hour unreactive to any outside stimulus. The doctor kept trying to talk to her, even going as far as shaking her a little, but she stayed still, tears streaming down her cheeks and knuckles white from holding on the sides of the bed. She couldn’t understand anything that was said around her, barely registering the two cops coming back inside or them walking out with the doctor a few minutes later. She needed to punch something. Or run all the way back to Coney. Or do anything but be stuck there.
The sadness and anxiety she felt was slowly being replaced by frustration and rage. At least those she knew how to deal with. When one of the cops came back inside her room and approached her she was ready to bite his skin off, but she couldn’t even come close to him with her wrist still handcuffed to the bed. The cop leaned in front of Ajax, just far enough so she couldn’t touch him and he condescendingly smiled before speaking to her like she was a little kid. “Doc said you’ll have to stay here for a few more days. Something about you being too weak to do anything. At least two of us will always stay in the room even during the night so you don’t have any idea to run away from here. If you do try, we have authorization to use force against you. Got it?” Ajax gritted her teeth but said nothing, refusing to acknowledge the man in front of her face. “We’ll say you understood. Every day, you’ll have physical therapy so we can bring you back to your cell sooner. They hate to pay us for staying overnight so the faster you can walk on your own the better it will be for everyone. Capiche?”
As her only answer, Ajax spitted in the cop’s face making recoil, his face red with anger.
“You fucker!” He slapped Ajax’s mouth with the back of his hand, cleaning his face with the sleeve on the other arm. “You’re lucky you look so pathetic right now, otherwise I would have beat your ass”.
Ajax laid back in her bed, staring at the ceiling and biting the inside of her cheeks. She would have done anything to get far away from this shitty hospital room.
The first night arrived quickly. Ajax thought that if she was able to get out of these handcuffs, she could slip away and get back home to Coney before morning. So she tried, all night, to make something break, anything that would have freed her, by pulling on her chains with all the force left in her. The cops guarding the room that night tried to stop her at first but everytime they were gone from her bedside she started pulling again. So they just abandoned her to her behavior, playing cards in a corner, ignoring the sound of metal colliding every other second. In the morning, the sound resonated only once every few minutes.
When a physical therapist came in the room later that day and the cops unlocked her cuffs for the first time since she woke up, Ajax dared hope she could finally walk around a bit, putting a foot out of the bed, then another. She instantly felt her forces leave her again as she was forced to lean heavily on her hands still on the bed. She barely had time to push herself back up before an acute pain shot through her arms like if someone was stabbing multiple times in a row. A painful groan escaped her lips as she laid back in bed, her left hand grasping her hurt shoulder. Medical staff arrived not long after, giving her more meds and making sure her wounds were correctly dressed. At this moment, Ajax knew the days ahead would be long and painful. She hated the idea of not being able to move like she wanted; hated the way her body, the thing she relied on the most, seemed against her. Most of all, she hated looking so weak in front of all these people thinking they were better than her.
Four days later, Ajax could finally stand up and walk on her own again. She still needed a walking cane to help the knee that took the fall when she was thrown in jail a week before, but she would find a way to get rid of it before rejoining the Warriors. The physical therapist was a patient woman that actually seemed to want Ajax to get better. She was also the only one between the medical staff and the cops that called her Ajax. The rest of the medical staff weren’t that bad to deal with, mostly there to dress her wounds and check on her vitals. Ajax didn’t have to talk to them really at all and she was happy with that. The cops were the one the warrior would have strangled on the spot if she could have. At night, some of them had tried to take advantage of her restrained position to have some fun of their own, but Ajax had screamed, kicked and bit her way out of those situations. During the day, they pissed the warrior off just by existing in the same room as her.
These four days had been her personal hell, too much time to think about how she fucked up and everything that had gone wrong. She kept playing scenarios in her head about what happened to everyone else. She tried telling herself they all made it back to Coney without more problems but the chance of it happening that way were very slim. Worst case scenario, they were all caught by the police and thrown in jail just like she had. Most likely scenario, Swan made sure the others got home but she got arrested herself. The worst part was that Ajax had no way to really know and it was making her crazy.
Now that she could walk again, Ajax knew they would try to take her back to a cell in no time. As she took a few more steps under the careful examination of her physical therapist, she tried to come up with a plan that would get her out of this place. The best plan she came up with? Punching her way through the windows and running for her life. She awkwardly ran toward a window big enough for her to pass through, her knee begging her to stop, and shattered the glass with her fist. Instantaneously she knew something was wrong. Instead of just feeling the pain of the glass penetrating the flesh of her hand, she felt an unbearable pain shoot through her whole arm. Ignoring all of it, she tried jumping in the opening she had just made but something pulled her back and slammed her on the floor. In an instant, one of the cops on guard that day turned her so she was facing the floor with a knee on her back, crushing her to the ground with all his weight.
“Good enough to run means good enough to go back to jail. You’re coming with us.” the cop said as he handcuffed her. Ajax had a hard time breathing, feeling her lungs getting squeezed unable to fill them with air. Panic started to get a hold over her. She couldn’t move at all, couldn’t scream, couldn’t do anything. She knew she would need oxygen soon. Is this what she lived for, dying pinned under a pig for trying to run away from a hospital? For someone who saw herself as such a loner, Ajax was terrified to die so far from her people.
Tears threatened to fall from her eyes at any moment, her vision was getting darker as if someone was dimming the lights. Everytime she moved a little too much for the cop on top of her, more pressure was put on her back. Somewhere far away she heard two pairs of footsteps coming into the room. It was too late for her, she tried taking in one last breath but nothing helped. She felt herself lose consciousness once more.
“You’re not supposed to be here.”
That voice.
“You have to wake up.”
What was Fox doing here? Ajax tried asking her but her mouth wouldn't open. No, it couldn’t open. She didn’t have one. There was nothing. Nothing but sound and that voice.
“Wake up, Ajax.”
If it was Fox, Ajax couldn’t let her alone in this nothingness. She had to help her, to protect her. Bring her home.
“Open your eyes.”
She couldn’t. She didn’t even know her eyes were closed, or if she still had them. She wanted to tell Fox. Tell her to come with her, that they would be fine together. But her own voice was nonexistent. There was only this darkness and Fox, somewhere, everywhere.
“Wake. Up.”
If only she could move. If only she could talk. If only she had more time. But the lights were reappearing and the voice was getting distant. From another world she heard her, the youngest, the prettiest. One last time she heard her say her name “Thank you, Ajax.”
When she opened her eyes, she was back in a cold empty cell. Alone and freezing. And for the first time she felt weak.
It took two days before Ajax got in a fight with another inmate. A random girl had bumped into her at lunch, making her lose her cool instantaneously. If this incident had happened a week and a half prior, Ajax would have won that fight no sweat. Still getting used to her new injuries, the warrior didn’t think about protecting her right and the first punch she threw seemed to hurt her more than it did the other girl. What the fuck? Ajax thought, letting out a painful groan. The other inmate jumped on the opportunity of Ajax being confused to punch her in the guts, making the warrior fold in two.
Shit get a hold of yourself Ajax, this wimp cannot beat you.
Ajax avoided another fist coming her way before throwing a powerful left jab at the other girl's face. Before she had the time to kick her opponent in the shin, three cops came running their way. Both girls quickly stepped away from one another acting like nothing happened. Fighting was all fun and games until big dudes with nightsticks and no care for your safety tried to separate you.
The guards looked at them, judging if they should do something or just let them go, but their lunch time must have been approaching because they chose to do nothing other than give each girl a severe glare.
Ajax had lost her appetite and made her way to her cell since she had nothing better to do. She felt horrible, as if she had fought two thousand angry bears. Her whole arm was still stinging like someone had tried to rip it off and she felt a weakness in her knee.
She laid on the shitty thing they called a mattress and stared at the white ceiling. So her injuries were worse than she thought. Not a big deal, she would find a way to get over it. She had to.
An hour later, a deep voice came from just outside Ajax cell, “Gray, apparently someone likes you enough to actually want to talk to you. You have a visitor”
Ajax dragged her feet not particularly wanting to see Swan or whichever Warrior was there to see how she was going. Unless they were here to break her out of this dumb place, she didn’t feel like chatting about how things were going back in Coney, somewhere she longed to be every moment of every day since they got uptown.
She sat down at one of the empty metal tables placed around the room guarded by a few cops.
Cleon. It was Cleon standing in front of her. Cleon smiling in front of her. She was alive, how the fuck was she alive. Ajax decided it wasn’t important for the moment and went to hug Cleon, to make sure she really was there, but just before they could make contact, a guard shouted “No touching!”
Ajax shot him a murdering look but stayed there standing in front of her Warlord, her arms by her sides. Cleon was smiling at her, that sad but comforting smile she did when she had bad news to tell. Ajax didn’t care about the bad news. She cared about Cleon being alive. “I thought you died. We all thought you died.” Ajax's voice was weaker than she wanted it to be.
“I know. To be honest I also thought I was dead. We should sit down.”
They sat down and talked non-stop until the guard declared visit time was over.
The day Ajax came back to Coney, she thought a lot about Fox and everything else that happened while she was gone. Cleon had told her everything she knew and in exchange Ajax had confessed how bad her physical damage was. The leader had promised she would keep all of it a secret from the rest of the Warriors as long as it wasn’t dangerous for any of them, Ajax included. Cleon had also asked that Ajax trained with her until further notice, something about reteaching the enforcer how to protect herself. Ajax accepted, not that she had a choice in the matter.
Ajax knew she needed to have a conversation with Swan to know exactly what happened that night considering Cleon had been with the Riffs for most of it. The first few days after she had learned of Fox death, Ajax wanted to punch the Warriors second in command so hard in her face that no one would be able to recognise her, but time did its thing and after a while the anger slowly turned into grief and that grief got pushed far away from Ajax's mind, joining her fear of being useless and of disappointing the people she was close to. Still, coming back to Coney made her realise that Fox would never again feel the relief of coming home, the joy of smelling the sea and seeing the wonder wheel peek over the city. At least Ajax heard her one last time, she was sure of it.
Some days had passed since Ajax came back. She and Rembrandt had moved back into the apartment they used to share with Fox. Nothing had changed since they had left on that infamous night. Slowly over the past days both women had taken back their habit, but still never touched Fox’s things. Rembrandt had refused to leave Ajax’s side for the first two days she was back, even attending Ajax’s training with Cleon and climbing into bed with her at night. Ajax tried her best to not show any weakness in front of Rembrandt. Once she was certain Ajax wouldn’t disappear or die on the spot, the tagger let her have more space.
When Ajax stepped into their apartment, after one of her training sessions, she could hear music coming from Rembrandt’s room. It wasn't her usual pop rock music coming from the speakers on the other side of the wall but something louder, more brutal. Not wanting to startle the tagger, Ajax announced herself while taking off her boots “Hey Rem, I'm home!”
She heard shuffling coming from the tagger’s room just before the music stopped. Rembrandt came out of the room, her hands covered in fresh paint than usual. She forced a smile at Ajax examining her from head to toes. “Hey. How was training?”
“Well training with Cleon is always something else. But you know me, I’m the toughest, so I won.” Ajax said with a cheeky smile. Maybe training didn’t exactly go as she said, with Cleon mostly focusing on making sure Ajax didn’t hurt herself even more. They had gone over the basis of protecting your side, something the enforcer already knew but Cleon told her she was getting rusty.
Rembrandt let out a small laugh and shook her head, approaching the door “I don’t think that’s how training works A.J.”
“You don’t think I’m good enough to win?” Ajax teased getting her coat off. She tried her best to hide the wince she did when taking out the right sleeve, but Rembrandt definitely saw.
“You alright?” Rembrandt's smile had faded and she was now at Ajax's side, her fingers grazing the enforcer’s bicep.
Ajax roughly moved her arms away from Rembrandt’s touch, gritting her teeth to hide the pain she was in. “I’m fine.”
Rembrandt let her own arm fall to her side, eyes full of concern “Ajax, you-”
"I said I'm fine" Ajax didn’t want to yell but she couldn’t stop the anger she felt or the venom in her voice. She regretted it immediately seeing the hurt in Rembrandt’s eyes and almost apologized but the tagger spoke first.
"No, you're not.” Rembrandt's tone was a mix of sadness, fear and disappointment "I see you Ajax. I see the way you walk, the way you stop for a second longer when you breathe too hard, the way you suddenly start favoring your left from your right when you fight." They were face to face staring each other down. Rembrandt had stepped closer as she talked, now standing on her tiptoe to be at Ajax height.
"Then show me" Ajax said in an almost whisper because nothing else made sense. Nothing other than the way Rembrandt was seeing her.
Rembrandt seemed taken aback for half a second before she carefully took Ajax's hand making her stand in the middle of their living room. “Don’t move”
Ajax nodded and Rembrandt left to get some supplies from her room. She came back with her drawing notebook and a simple pencil. She turned the pages until she stopped on a blank one. Looking between Ajax and her drawing,they spent the next half hour without a word, only the sound of the pen scratching on the paper. When Rembrandt was done, she flipped her pages back to an older sketch of Ajax and turned her notebook for the enforcer to see. “This was you”
That drawing had been made a few months ago, in another life, one where they didn’t lose their friend. That day Ajax hadn’t been able to sit still for very long, talking and gesticulating the whole time. The drawing had marks of erasers and at some point Rembrandt had just given up putting down more details because the enforcer was too impatient to see the result. But it was Ajax, a smile on her face, hands in front of her as a way to explain something better. It was full of life and energy and chaos, as Ajax had been once.
She went back to her new drawing “This is you since you came back to us”.
Even though both pictures depicted Ajax, the model almost couldn’t recognize herself in the second one. Her eyes had lost the twinkle Rembrandt usually put in them being instead covered by a shadow, her mouth was closed emphasizing the weird size of her lower lip, her usually tan skin was devoid of any color other than some shading around her wrist. Ajax felt like she was looking at the drawing of a corpse.
“I look dead.”
“You look worse.”
Ajax looked back at the drawing before looking into the artist’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Rembrandt closed the notebook, tossing it somewhere on the couch behind her, and took one of Ajax's hands in her own. “I want to help you A.J. Please let me help you.”
Ajax took her hand back, staring at Rembrandt. “And who’s helping you?”
“Me? I don’t need help. You’re the one messed up.”
“Don’t think this isn’t a two way street. You see me but I also see you. You’ve changed.”
“We all did.”
“I’ve missed you.”
“Should have think twice before punching that man.”
“This isn’t fair.”
“Losing Fox wasn’t fair. Having to let you go wasn’t fair. Seeing you come back as a ghost of yourself wasn’t fair. Life isn’t fair Ajax. You know it. I know it. I’m not the one in need of your help. For once in your life let me help you. Let me get back the woman I love.”
“You love me?”
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
“But you love me?”
“With all my heart.”
Ajax leans into Rembrandt’s space to kiss, but the tagger is faster and before Ajax knows it Rembrandt puts her lips on hers. The kiss is desperate, their hands all over each other. For an instant there was only them. But only for an instant. Rembrandt pulled back, resting her forehead on Ajax's “we can't…”
“Am I that bad a kisser?” Ajax asked with a nervous laugh, trying to sound confident but failing miserably.
“What? No of course not it has nothing to do with-”
“Then kiss me” Ajax leaned in again waiting for Rembrandt to take the lead. Which she did, attracted to Ajax's lips like a magnet. Rembrandt gripped the enforcer collar to bring her closer. Their second kiss was still messy, full of passion and need. Ajax's hands made their way under the tagger's shirt, stroking her bare sides which made the smaller girl shiver.
Ajax moved her mouth from Rembrandt’s lips to her jaw before descending into her neck, making a soft moan come out of Rembrandt. The smaller girl dipped her head to the side, leaving her neck fully exposed as one of her hands tangled in the enforcer’s hair encouraging her to continue her treatment. Ajax wrapped one arm around Rembrandt’s midriff bringing her even closer as the other hand kept exploring every inch of skin available. Rembrandt’s breathing was getting heavier. Ajax had pushed the pain she was feeling in the back of her head, trying to ignore it and focus on Rembrandt, the way goosebumps appeared under every touch, the way mix of her rosemary shampoo and paint scent was so uniquely hers, the way her breath caught in her throat when Ajax sucked on her pulse.
The hand in Ajax’s hair traveled to her shoulder gripping it so Ajax would stay close, making the enforcer wince. Immediately, Rembrandt pushed her enough so she could see her face.
“Fuck Ajax, you alright? Did I hurt you?”
Ajax forced a smile “I’m fine, come here” She tried kissing the tagger again, but Rembrandt stopped her.
“No… No, I think we have to stop.”
Ajax looked at her housemate, confused and a little frustrated “Why? You’re the one who started it.”
“I know. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. But the truth is, I do love you Ajax. I love you so much that losing you might kill me. I’m not strong enough to have you and watch you hurt so much.”
“So you love me but don’t wanna be with me?”
“No that’s not” Rembrandt let out a frustrated groan “I don’t know. I think what I’m trying to say is this isn’t a good time. For either of us.”
“When will it be the right time? When we’ll both be dead?”
“When we'll both be better” Rembrandt tried her best to make her voice as soothing as possible. She herself was confused by all the emotions she was feeling but she needed Ajax to understand, to see how bad they could be to one another at that moment. But Ajax got tense and defensive.
“That's bullshit!”
“A.J….” Rembrandt tried to stroke Ajax cheek but Ajax moved her hand away and stepped back before storming towards the door, taking back the coat she just took off. “I'm going out”
Rembrandt let her arm fall to her side and frowned. “You just got home”
Ajax put on her boots, not looking up, refusing to meet Rembrandt’s gaze “I'll be back by morning” Her words were still said harshly but not as harsh as if it was said to anyone other than the tagger.
Rembrandt approached but stay far enough away to not get into the enforcer’s personal space “Aja-”
“I need to take some space.” Ajax's hand was gripping the doorknob. She didn’t really want to go. Given the choice she would stay with Rembrandt and keep her close. But as much as she thought it was stupid, she had to respect whatever Rembrandt wanted. Even with the voice inside her head nagging her for leaving, even with her heart aching to stay and never let go of the tagger ever again. The throbbing pain in her arm forced her to make a decision. “I won't go far. Promise.” At that, Ajax stepped outside the apartment, leaving Rembrandt alone once more.
If Ajax had to get better for them to be together, she would get better by any means. That night, she thought back on her time before the Warriors on the person she was back then, but mostly on the people she knew back then. She remembered one person that could help her, one address she used to visit often. That night, Ajax's feet took her back to her old drug dealer’s place.
It was a habit at this point. Every few days, Ajax would say she had to go for a walk and meet with an old friend. It was just a coïncidence that that old friend also sold her opioids. She preferred seeing him more often than having a big stash that would be harder to hide from Rembrandt. The constant pain she was in had dulled with the medication, making her feel more like herself. Even the tagger seemed to think she looked better considering she agreed to go on a date with the enforcer the next week.
Even if she had to hide from every single person in her life that she was meeting with that “friend”, Ajax still thought that things were good. At least until she came back from one of those meetings one night and passed by a badly lit cul-de-sac. Normally, Ajax wouldn't have given any attention to the couple in there but she heard the woman's scream before her voice got muffled as if someone had put their hands in front of her mouth. In a matter of seconds, Ajax had pushed the man away from his victim and stood between the two.
“Get the fuck away perv” Ajax spat in his direction, ready to rumble.
“You think I'm afraid of some punk dyke? I'm not big on sharing my girl so run right now before I get mad” The man had at least one head over Ajax and didn’t look like someone who skipped the gym.
Using the effect of surprise to her advantage, Ajax quickly threw her fist at the guy's ribs making him groan. Unfortunately for Ajax, a single punch wasn’t enough to bring the man down. He fought back by grabbing the warrior's arm and pulling her to him, something Ajax would usually be able to evade but just like the pain, her alertness seemed duller, making her reaction time higher. As soon as the guy's attention was focused on Ajax, the other woman ran away without looking back. Ajax was now alone in the corner of nowhere unable to do anything. The man had taken both her wrist in one hand and held her to the wall.
Ajax was starting to see herself as if she was floating above the scene. She felt no fear or anger, just a weird detachment as she watched herself get manhandled.
“Hey asshole, let her go” Swan's voice had brought Ajax back to her body. Panic and rage taking hold of her.
“Shit, can’t a man just have some fun in peace?” The man let go of Ajax who fell to the ground like a ragdoll. He tried running away but Swan was more than capable of beating him, which she did.
Ajax didn’t even register what happened until Swan was at her side, too focused on her own failure. She startled when Swan softly put her hand on Ajax arm, making the enforcer look up. Without knowing it, Ajax had punched the ground enough to cover her hand in blood. She watched Swan lips moving, not understanding anything she was saying or hearing the concerned tone of her voice. Swan tried making Ajax get up, but the enforcer couldn’t.
“Please Ajax, we can’t stay here.” Swan tried explaining, getting more and more concerned with each passing second.
Ajax looked at her blood splattered on the ground and in a raspy voice said “I’m too weak”. She looked back at Swan but her eyes seemed to look past the second in command. “Why am I so weak?”
Seeing Ajax in that state snapped something inside Swan. Swan picked up her fellow warrior fireman style. Ajax let her do as she pleased, not reacting to anything. Swan started walking as fast as she could towards her own apartment. As they traveled, Swan kept saying “I’m bringing you home. We’ll take care of you” not sure if she was saying it to Ajax or to herself.
The moment Swan stepped into the apartment, Cleon was all over Ajax. The leader helped her second in command settle Ajax on a kitchen chair ordering Mercy to go get a medkit. Anyone could hear the badly hidden panic in Cleon’s voice as she asked Swan what happened.
“I don’t know. I say a girl running, yelling that someone had tried to rape her so I went and checked where she came from. When I arrived Ajax was already there. I don’t know how or why.” Swan answered as best as she could standing in a corner of the room, eyes glued to Ajax getting her wounds cleaned up by Cleon.
Ajax stayed silent the whole time, but pointed to the bathroom when Cleon asked her if she needed anything. Only when the three other warriors were sure Ajax wouldn’t die right then and there, did they let her go. As the door closed behind Ajax, they all heard the distinct sound of someone vomiting followed by the shower being turned on.
Swan looked at Cleon, trying to understand everything that was happening. “Cleon what happened to her? The Ajax I know would have kick that guy ass in no time”
Cleon sighed, crumbling into the closest chair she could find. “It's not my story to tell. My role is simply to help her get through it. Just be gentle with her for now.”
Swan nodded and looked back at the closed bathroom door for a bit. She said goodnight to Cleon and went to her room, followed by a frowning Mercy. “You won't ask more questions? It seems pretty serious, what if you were the one who needed help and she couldn’t help you?”
Swan sat on their bed. “Ajax will tell me if she wants to. I could ask Cleon and she would probably end up telling me, but it isn't the right way.”
“But-” Swan interrupted her. “Come to bed, Mercy.”
Mercy sighed, not happy to let it go. “Alright. But I'm only agreeing with you because you're cute”
Swan smiled softly at her as they both got ready to sleep.
Ajax had been in the bathroom for an hour. Cleon was starting to be anxious about it.
“You alright in there?”
No response.
“Ajax? I'm coming in”
Cleon enters the room to see Ajax curled up in the shower, her hands bruised and shaking. The warlord took note of the small bottle of pills in the pile of clothes on the floor, but went directly to her warrior. She stopped just before the water could hit her.
“Oh. Ajax…”
Ajax lifted her head to look at her, her lips were trembling and her eyes were pleading the older woman to make things stop. Cleon stepped under the shower head, sitting down beside Ajax and wrapping her arms around her. Ajax immediately buried her face in her leader’s chest, gripping her shirt like it was the only thing keeping her on this earth, and started sobbing.
“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I fucked up. I shouldn't have gone to that cop. I should have stayed with them. I should have taken Fox's place. It would have been better for everyone. I'm so sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to make it stop. And everything keeps getting worse. I shouldn’t be alive. Please make it stop.”
Cleon rubbed her back and held her close, trying to find the words that would make the pain disappear. “It's okay. You’re okay. You didn’t know, Ajax. You didn’t know.”
Both of them were soaking wet from the shower but neither of them cared. It wasn't a part of Ajax Cleon was used to. She wasn't sure what to do, only that if Ajax needed them to stay like that forever they would. Whatever Ajax needed, Cleon would provide.
It was the middle of the night when they finally made their way out of the bathroom. Without a word, Cleon brought Ajax to her bedroom and gave her a pyjama. They both changed before climbing into bed. Cleon opened her arms to let Ajax cuddle into her side. Neither of them would ever talk about it, but both knew they needed each other's warmth at that moment.
In the morning, Cleon woke up first. Ajax was still curled up, hand gripping Cleon’s shirt. Even in her sleep she looked tormented. Cleon stroked the enforcer back making her mumble and bury her face in Cleon’s side even more. The leader smiled at the sleeping woman in her arms.
A few minutes later, Ajax's eyes fluttered open when Cleon tried to move away from her to get out of the bed. Ajax looked at her with eyes half open before closing it again, pulling her back into bed and declaring “It’s too early”.
Cleon chuckled at the antics and turned to face the enforcer, caressing her cheek. “I have to go actually, I have a meeting with the Riffs and they don’t really like changing their plans. But I can stay and send Swan if you want.”
Ajax shook her head no before looking up at Cleon. “It’s okay.”
Cleon looked into her eyes, trying to see if she was telling the truth. Once she was satisfied she kissed Ajax forehead and got up. Ajax stayed in bed even as Cleon opened the door.
“Cleon?” Ajax called before the warlord could get out of the room.
Cleon turned her head to look at her “yes?”
“Thank you”
Cleon smiled. “Anytime”.
When Ajax got out of bed, it was already noon and she was craving a cigarette. She took a pack from Swan’s not-so-secret stash and made her way to the roof.
The sun was high and she could hear the sound of the city under her. As she lit up her cigarette, she heard someone stepping towards her.
“Thief” Swan said as she sat down next to Ajax.
“Not my fault you’re the worst at hiding things. I mean unless it’s emotion then you’re really good.” Ajax teased before smoking the cigarette.
Swan rolled her eyes. “Shut up and give me that” Ajax gave her the cigarette that they kept passing between them for a while until they had to light another one.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do now?” Ajax asked loudly to nobody.
Swan took a long drag of the cigarette before passing it to Ajax. “You deal with the loss and keep on living.”
Ajax looked at the horizon. This place was her home, the place where her loved one lived, the last place Fox called home, how much good could she do if she couldn’t even protect it. “Fighting is all I ever knew. I’m not a diplomat like you or Cleon or quick like Rembrandt. Hell, I can’t even be as funny as Cowgirl! Where the fuck does it leave me.”
“It leaves you here, with us. We need you Ajax, as much as you need us. Nothing will ever change that and you know it.”
“Some days I wish I could go back in time and do anything that would convince Cleon not to go uptown.”
“I know the feeling.”
They both looked out at the city in front of them. If that night didn’t happen, Ajax would be fine, Fox would be home, their little family wouldn’t be so broken. But it did happen and they had to live with the consequences, built a new life, a new normal.
Ajax broke the comfortable silence, lightly bumping Swan’s shoulder with her own “But then you wouldn’t have a girlfriend.”
Swan scoffed sadly but didn’t reply, choosing instead to put her head on Ajax's shoulder making sure not to hurt her. Ajax froze for a second before relaxing. It had been a while since they were able to be that close without trying to kill each other. They had been close once. Something had snapped between them a long time ago, some of it was simply due to time but Ajax knew some of it also came with Rembrandt. The enforcer and the tagger had clicked so easily, conversation was easy between them and in no time Rembrandt had become Ajax confidant. Swan had taken her distance, spending more time with Cleon and teaching Fox everything she knew. Slowly they had stopped hanging out outside of warriors’ business, and even then being the two strongest members of the gang made it so they rarely worked together.
She chuckled “Mercy really did make you soft”. Swan took the cigarette from Ajax fingers. “She did.” She blew out the fumes “I’m glad you’re back.”
“Yea, me too.”
Ajax would have happily stayed in that silence for the next few hours, but the pain wasn’t gone and she was getting very uncomfortable. She knew the pain would never be gone, that her life had changed forever. But at least she had her family to lean on.