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The first time it happened Benji hadn’t even noticed until Hannah pointed it out.
“Tristan, your outfit is so cute today! You haven’t worn that skirt yet, have you?” The skirt in question came up a little above the knee, displaying a black and purple spider web pattern, a little plastic spider ring hanging from a thread on the hip. Tristan’s cheeks dusted pink as they covered up their embarrassment with both hands.
“You like it?”
“I love it! I wish I had your wardrobe dude!” Hannah waved her hands around her face as she spoke. “Where do you shop?”
“Well I got most of my stuff through pure luck in thrift stores,” Tristan fidgeted with one of the rings on their fingers. “But you could always borrow something while we’re here.” Hannah beamed at that, bursting out of her seat to pump a fist in the air.
“Awesome!”
The second time it happened Benji was sitting with Ivy and Zaid around the campfire pit. Half of the group had left early in the morning to fish for breakfast and when they’d returned Benji’s eyes caught on the plastic spider ring dangling at Hannah’s hip. The article of clothing ran down an inch past her knees, a minor detail that Benji had zeroed in on until it clicked in his mind that the girl was much shorter then Tristan, hence the different fit. He realized too late that he was staring and Hannah giggled in his direction, doing a little twirl just for him.
“It’s Tristan’s, I haven’t worn a skirt in so long, I forgot how fun it is!” Benji averted his gaze, face heating up.
“It’s very spidery.” He said stupidly and Ivy lightly hit his shoulder while she laughed.
“We got fish!” A voice came from behind Hannah, the rest of the group walking up with various pieces of fishing gear in their hands. Tristan gently placed their share of the fishing rods in the tent and quickly took a seat on the log next to Benji. At the mention of fish Zaid perked up to help with the cooking and Spencer took the empty seat he left behind gratefully. Steadily a fire began to flicker in front of them and as his teammates started to bicker about whether it was worth it to eat fish eyes, Benji felt a nudge on his shoulder.
Tristan cupped their hand around their mouth like they were about to tell a secret and giggled so hard that they could barely get their words out.
“Spencer caught his first fish today but he- he-“ They broke out into a fit of hardly contained laughter and Spencer picked up on it from across the firepit.
“You better not be talking about the fish I caught, I got you all breakfast and this is how you repay me?” This only seemed to spur Tristan on further and they laughed even louder, reaching up to wipe the tears pricking their eyes.
“The fish kicked you in the face dude!” They lent back unsteadily on the log as Spencer scoffed.
“Did not!” He protested.
“He reeled in the biggest fish and while he was victory posing with it the fish flipped around and slapped him in the face.” Hannah chimed in to set the score straight.
“It was slippery!” Spencer sputtered and Tristan erupted into a second laughing fit, grasping at Benji’s shoulder for purchase in order to keep themselves upright. Heat bloomed from the contact.
“Oh my god, it was so legendary! I wish you could’ve been there to see it.” Tristan finally managed.
The fish was done soon after the noise died down, cooked perfectly as per Zaid’s usual. Benji greedily scarfed the food down, he was gradually missing his usual chips and pizza the longer he stayed on this show. He swore that when he won and got back home he was going to buy like ten large meat lovers pizzas and eat them all in one sitting. Tristan nudged him once again when they had finished, aimlessly pointing at a secluded spot to hang out before the day’s challenge started. Benji grinned and nodded along happily, throwing his discarded fish bones in their trash pile before following his friend out.
The place they usually found themselves in before challenges was a soft little patch of grass framed by a few trees to obscure them from the others. Benji watched as Tristan sat down on the ground, their knee high socks staining green against the grass. Trailing up from the fabric of their socks it seemed like Tristan’s skirt was a little shorter than usual, not to a super noticeable degree, but Benji locked the information away in the back of his mind as he awkwardly sat across from them, eyes looking anywhere but where they should be.
By the third time he noticed, he had started to piece together a pattern. Tristan sat parallel to him during their next alliance meeting, skinny knees pushed tightly together and hands folded over a pair of fishnets only covered by a little black skirt about midway up their thighs. He tried not to look, tried to instead avert his attention to Hannah and focus on the new black eyeshadow smudged into the corners of her eyelids but Hannah had already picked up on what was happening before he could think to stop her. She smiled knowingly at him, like she could read his mind and every stupid little thing he had ever thought would come pouring out of his head with the wave of her hand. Damn her for being so perceptive! And damn the stupid fishnets! He’d never seen someone wear them in person before, it was borderline mesmerizing. He internally cursed his own body for betraying him, fingers anxiously fiddling with his shirt collar as a blush crept up his neck.
A few days later Tristan had somehow managed to find an even shorter skirt to wear, only saved by their courtesy to cover up with tinted tights underneath. Benji couldn’t believe his eyes. He felt like such a douchebag, like those guys who whistle at girls on his college campus, or those teenage boys who practically foam at the mouth when they see a sliver of shoulder. He wasn’t that kind of guy, he knew he wasn’t! The lack of food must have been making him a little crazy. Yes, that was it! He wasn’t thinking straight because he didn’t have all the natural food groups to keep his brain functioning like normal (Regardless of whether he usually got all the food groups on his own).
“Hey Benji, Look at what I found!” Benji startled at his name, he couldn’t do this. “Look, I think it’s some sort of carnival prize that got overtaken by nature!” He refused to look at them, he couldn’t. “Dude, do you think this is dried moss or a really bad green paint job?” Tristan smiled wide as they shook the object around in front of his face. Benji could feel his arms twitching at his sides so he shoved his hands deep into his pockets to combat the motion. It was entirely humiliating that he couldn’t even keep up a basic conversation. His body felt hot, like he was drowning in lava and he wiped the sweat forming on the back of his neck nervously as he hurriedly searched for an escape.
Tristan swayed back on the ends of their heels, unsure of the boy’s reaction. “So, what do you think the challenge is today?” They tried again and oh, if Benji wasn’t going to hell before, he sure was now. Here he was ignoring something his friend was clearly interested in and the only excuse he could seem to muster up in his mind was “Sorry, I’m just so unbelievably attracted to you it hurts.” In his panic, he had ended up running away to the challenge starting grounds early with about thirty minutes to spare. He hadn’t even said goodbye, god, he was losing his mind!
He didn’t get a chance to apologize until after they finished filming for the day. The challenge was a rough one that needed everyone’s attention, some kind of obstacle course full of overly complicated circus junk and excessive booby traps (haha booby). In the end the red team ended up winning, but only by the saving grace of Diego, Hannah, and Tristan taking the brunt of the force. Safe from elimination for now, phew! Hannah had ended up with a sprained ankle from missing a jump somewhere near the end, only rejoining the group after a lengthy visit to the health tent, and Diego had somehow managed to tame and escape a pit of alligators before carrying both Spencer and Hannah to safety in either arm. Tristan had gotten caught up in a clown themed trap that shot dulled down arrows and spikes at contestants, barely escaping if it weren’t for their last ditch idea to shove a hair clip in the arrow dispensers above their head.
Everyone looked like a mess. Hannah slumped over her dinner, leg splayed out in order to preserve her bandaged foot.
“We won, but at what cost.” It was a light joke, but no one really laughed. Spencer seemed awfully intent on avoiding his savior and isolating Jade (good to keep that in the back of his mind) and Ivy stood fretting over a small cut along Zaid’s eyebrow. Over-dramatic much? Benji picked at his food, he was growing increasingly aware of Tristan’s presence next to him and along with his now well overdue apology that he still hadn’t planned out, he had decided that he was absolutely banned all together from even looking at Tristan. Their tights had ripped in a few places, pale skin on display, and while they rationalized the loss of their tights by declaring that the ruined version looked cooler Benji took another large bite of his dinner. No matter how cool it looked it was going to be the single reason that Benji dropped dead that night. It really shouldn’t have been as big of a deal as it was, none of the other contestants seemed to mind anyways. The skirt technically covered what it needed to cover and in the dark it was hard to see anything without focusing closely, but Benji was definitely focusing closely.
Tristan eyed him over their shoulder, a small smirk quirking their lips up.
“You good, Benji?” They seemed to only lean in closer and Benji held his breath like an idiot.
“G-Good! I’m good! All great, totally awesome!” He jumped out of his seat and turned his back to the group hurriedly. “Sleeping now, so tired! Gotta get up to get the early worm!” He didn’t know what he was saying anymore, his face felt like jelly. What an awful thing to have hormones and an imagination.
It was about five in the morning when Benji woke up, shuffling back and forth in his sleeping bag until he finally gave up hope of falling back asleep and sneakily managed to make his way out of the team tent. When he got a few steps out he noticed Tristan sitting outside on a rock alone. Benji kicked a few small pebbles to make his presence known, watching Tristan flinch at the noise before their eyes softened and they brushed off the spot next to them in invitation. It was weird to see them so bare, no makeup, no jewelry, nothing to keep their hair from falling into their eyes in this really awkward and oddly endearing silhouette. Worst of all, Tristan only sported an oversized t-shirt and a pair of dark blue boxers that hugged their hips and thighs way too comfortably. Benji swallowed hard as he refocused his thoughts.
“Why are you out here?” He managed to croak out when the silence dragged on for far too long. Tristan shrugged and picked at the surface of the rock beneath them.
“Insomnia I guess, I’ve been coming out here like every night so that I don’t wake the others.” Benji made a gargled hum in the back of his throat in lieu of a response. “Why are you out here?” The question turned back on him and he almost choked on his spit.
“Just couldn’t sleep, nothing major.” His voice was audibly strained. Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he just talk to them like a normal person? Tristan huffed out a laugh under their breath, clearly a little drowsy from the lack of sleep.
“You like Dragon Ball Z?” And now they were practically leaning on his side, only an inch away from fully committing, seemingly waiting for proper permission.
“What? How did you know?” Benji turned his head and met face to face with big blue eyes, tired and drooping, lazily sweeping his face for a reaction. He scrunched his eyebrows together and in an attempt to clarify their previous statement Tristan let their gaze fall farther down his body. Benji followed the action until-
“These aren’t mine!” He shrieked, covering his boxers with little Goku faces printed across them. Then he realized that had sounded even worse than just admitting his stupid interest so he shrieked again. “No- I mean they are! Forget what I just said!” Tristan giggled into their palm quietly.
“No no, don’t worry, I think it’s cool.” They placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and Benji wished that the earth could just swallow him whole.
“I don’t even know why I brought them, it's stupid.” Benji groaned.
“Hey, no it’s not…” Tristan’s speech slurred a little as their chin rested gently on the other’s shoulder. “It’s cute.” No, no, no! This could not be happening! Benji crossed his legs in embarrassment. Hot breath against his neck, Tristan’s loose hair draping over his shoulder, and a steady unwavering view of the legs that had been taunting him all week. Fuck, why did the universe have a vendetta against him? This had to be a new form of cruel and unusual punishment.
Tristan backed up a bit, seemingly picking up on Benji’s uneasiness and putting some distance between them awkwardly.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“I don’t mind.” He cut them off a little too quickly. God, He really did need to learn how to shut up sometimes. Tristan’s head tilted to the side a bit quizzically before ultimately taking him up on the offer.
Benji took in a deep breath as Tristan properly nuzzled into his neck, a questioning hand coming up to rest at his knee. Deep breaths. Deep breaths! He hummed his approval and their hand took its final position about halfway up his thigh. Breathe! Deep breaths! He pushed his legs together tighter if only to keep his own body in check. For some reason he could feel Tristan’s lethargic smile against his skin and with a gentle squeeze to his leg Tristan’s voice filled the silence again.
“Did you like the outfits this week?” Benji really did choke on his spit this time, coughing violently into his elbow while the other patted him on the back. “You good, man?” He waved off his friend's worried expression and held a shaky thumbs up, misplaced next to the way he cleared his throat uncomfortably.
“A-All good, just s-something in my throat.” He was a bad liar.
Tristan recovered the space they had just given up and then some.
“So, did you like them?” How in the world was he supposed to respond to that?
“Um, yeah I mean- they suit you.”
“Yeah?” Tristan giggled and leaned in about an inch away from his face. “Did you like the skirts?” Benji’s entire body stiffened up at the sheer mention of it. Did he like the skirts? It was practically the only thing he’d had on his mind for the last few days!
“W-What skirts? I didn’t even notice you were wearing any!” If god was testing him right now then he had better get the biggest, most deserving reward ever for behaving himself in the face of such temptation. Tristan made a soft sound of acknowledgement, painted fingernails dancing against Benji’s bare skin.
“Hannah said the shorter one’s were cuter, thought that I might ask someone else’s opinion as well before I start wearing them more.”
“Yeah well, you look nice in anything so don’t worry.” His voice cracked on the last few syllables.
“You think so?” Tristan couldn’t get any closer if they tried, front flush against his side as if he would run away the second that they let go. “I was actually kinda hoping you would notice them…” And Benji’s entire universe tipped on its axis.“Oh well, maybe next time then.” Benji flipped his whole body to face the other, his heart hammering so aggressively in his chest that he could barely even hear himself speak.
“W-Why would I need to notice them?” The rush of adrenaline definitely woke up his system, blood now very easily pumping beneath his skin. Tistan seemed taken aback by the sudden energy and as they evaluated the situation in front of them a small pink blush steadily crept up their cheekbones.
“I mean, I-I thought it was obvious.” They stuttered.
“What’s obvious?”
“That I like you?” It came out tense and unsure, like they were just now realizing the floodgates of rejection could come crashing down on them at any moment.
“You do?!”
“I’m sorry, I thought…” Tristan wrapped their arms around themself defensively, already mapping out their retreat in their head. “I mean, I thought that you-”
“I do!” Benji shouted so loud that it might as well have woken up the entire red team. He startled at his own volume, quickly adjusting his voice to a lower and calmer tone. “I-I do, I really like you. A lot!” He added on for good measure.
Tristan's shoulders relaxed a little bit, nervously laughing as they watched Benji wave his arms around his face to emphasize his point. A hand came up to ruffle at his bed head and Benji realized too late that he had now been rambling for far too long in front of his crush. He shut his mouth as quickly as he could.
“So you did like the skirts then?” Tristan asked teasingly, a sly little smirk splitting their lips.
“Oh my god, yes I liked them!” Came Benji’s exasperated response. “It was all I could think about! I couldn’t focus during the challenges and I couldn’t even look at you without getting embarrassed and running away! It was like the bane of my existence all week!” Tristan’s whole body loosened up, arms unwinding to pull Benji into a tight hug.
“Oh man, that’s a relief, bane of your existence was kinda what I was going for.” They giggled. “Hannah was literally coaching me every morning on what to wear.” The words flooded in one ear and out the other. Honestly, Benji still couldn’t believe how his night was turning out, shaky hands coming up to rest on Tristan's shoulder blades as he focused solely on the way their breath hit his cheek with every word.
“Can I kiss you?” He might’ve interrupted them, actually he must have because they dramatically swatted at his shoulder soon after, but when they pulled back to readjust Benji could only make out the brightest smile ever. Tristan made the next move, eager and soft, just tentative enough to let Benji back out if he needed to. He did not. Benji took the opportunity to finally tangle his fingers in their pretty purple hair, it felt so right to be able to reach out and touch. God, he really needed to control himself.
Tristan broke the kiss with lidded eyes and without a distraction Benji finally noticed the hands on his waist. A full body shiver wracked through him
“Is this ok?” Tristan sighed into his ear and Benji thought at that moment that Tristan could do anything they wanted and he would still thank them regardless. Instead, He nodded enthusiastically and dove back in for another kiss. Tristan made little circle motions in the gap between his tank top and boxers, grinning against his lips when Benji tightened his grip in their hair. What an amazing thing to have hormones and an imagination.
“Are you guys done? It’s almost time for everyone to wake up.” Spencer cleared his throat next to them rudely. Benji practically jumped out of his skin, stumbling backwards off of the rock they were both sitting on and face planting in the grass. He groaned in pain as Tristan hastily attempted to help him up. Their teammate did not look impressed. “Both of you should put some pants on, we’re all going fishing in thirty minutes.” Spencer scrunched up his nose in disgust and rapidly turned on his heel to get away from them. What a jerk. Then Benji felt his cheeks bloom with heat as Tristan wiped some dirt off of his chin.
“You good?” They mumbled and Benji snorted out a laugh.
“Yeah, I’m good.” He looked up at Tristan as they helped him up. “I don’t think I’ve ever been better.” And he meant it with his whole heart.