Work Text:
Johan Liebert, who doesn't want you to love him, started to do everything he knew you'd hate as soon as he got to know you head to toe. His acquaintanceship with you was specifically designed just for that.
Any being Johan has loved—if he's indeed capable of such an act—always ends up hating his very core, and it is all in accordance with his will. After all, hatred has been proven to be much stronger than love in the grander scheme of things in humanity—or so Johan believes.
When he was a kid, he was more well-versed in navigating hatred than love (not that he had more people to love back then aside from his sister). Love was tiring; he always had to worry about his other half being caught by the monster that chased them. Love was temperamental; his other half erased his existence for good as soon as she knew of his ways (not that he'd ever take it against her, for that was the right call—he doesn't exist).And when he met you, his viewpoint of love was reaffirmed even further. Your previous relationships, romantic or platonic, had all taken a toll on you. Johan has heard plenty of stories about you being disappointed with the people you’ve tried to love. When they weren't able to do this or that. When you sleep at six in the morning, exhausted, because trying to understand their actions in the name of love had kept you up all night. How interesting; oh, how genuinely interesting, Johan had thought.
And it even becomes more interesting that despite all that, you're still someone who seeks love, who seeks to love and be loved. “Why?” he asks. How strange. “I just have a lot of love to give, is that too wrong?” you reply, smiling. And when Johan doesn’t answer, you add, “I’m just waiting for the right people who'd be willing to receive them." “Even if they have demanded a lot of your time? Even if they used you—repeatedly so—only to change their mind on you at the last minute?” he prompts, which then makes you gaze down for a bit. However, Johan doesn’t expect you to lift your head just as quick, with a nod and smile so bright, so contrary of him. “Yeah, even so, I choose to love and be loved.”
And so, amid the very clear stance, Johan still wants you to understand. Your thirst to love and be loved has gained his interest for quite some time now. He saw very well how genuine you were when you told him one night that he's your closest friend now, and you treasure him so much . But the morning after, he's suddenly not the approachable-mister-congeniality type of friend anymore. After showering you with friendly affection and being the best company you've ever had in your life, he now doesn’t acknowledge your presence when you try to make it known. Johan, much as he had never felt emotions so extreme, never thought he'd take pleasure in the way you looked at him, full of yearning and confusion. How pretty you are with glassy eyes, doing everything in your power to not let the tears fall, as people started avoiding you as well not long after he did.
Don't you worry; he liked being near you, too. But you need to understand where he's coming from. Johan doesn't want you to love him, for love is weaker than hatred. As people say, 'hatred is something you can use, sculpt, or wield.’ Oh, hatred. You've been full of love despite how many times it humiliated you, but hatred will cradle you. It will make you understand his point. The contrasting characters you two have that ultimately keep your distance can finally be mended if you come to understand him.
Months later, your glassy eyes and yearning gaze developed into something more sinister, and Johan couldn't help himself but smile wider. Maybe you finally figured it out. How come all the exes you had told of him started disappearing one by one? How come the friends you'd grown distant to have started contacting you again—begging for their lives and apologizing for wasting your precious and benevolent love—only to be found dead the morning after? How come that with all these incidents, they never fail to mention a certain blonde man whom they call the devil? How come they all cried to you the same begging, "Please tell him to leave me alone," "I will be next!" "Oh god, oh god, he's here. Please, forgive me. I will love you better this time. Just please don't let him kill me!"
And the worst thing of all, because most if not all the victims contacted you before their presumed death, an inspector came knocking at your door one day, asking you to cooperate to avoid consequences.
You poor thing. Johan's sweet mourning lamb. There's nothing you can do. It's already been done. Don't worry. Once you get to understand his point, he will come back to see you again. And by then he'd be able to see how strong you feel for him.