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Dear Spencer,
We haven’t talked in a long time, I know I was harsh when you decided to join the FBI. I know now that you do good work and catch bad guys, I see your team on the news often enough. It’s just hard to imagine anything good from law enforcement given my background.
Remember how we talked in my first year of college(it was your second doctorate, I think)? One of the things we talked about was the misrepresentation of mental illness in media. I remember that for you it was hard because of your mother, and for me - obviously, because of my own struggles.
And do you remember what you said? Of course you do. You said that maybe, one day, we’ll be able to change that. That maybe, there’s an opportunity for us to do good by helping people understand mental illness and neurodiversity in general.
God, I can’t get to the point, I’m sorry. I miss our friendship so much, you know that? You were my only friend in college when I was 19, and when you left for the FBI I was angry. Not only because of law enforcement thing. Because you left me alone to deal with people. I’m not good with people. I’m not good in general.
Anyway, I started college again, neuroscience this time. I got myself accommodations I was too shy to ask for during my first attempt at higher education. I even have friends, you’d be proud of me.
I also started the process of getting diagnosed with autism. It’s expensive, but I’m trying to find ways to subsidize it. And I got my IQ formally tested and scored in the 99.5 percentile of the population. It doesn’t make sense, I’m not that smart or fast and I study terribly. It feels like a joke, it probably is, the whole concept of measuring intelligence is plain stupid.
I think that getting in college the year after I moved from Russia was not a good idea, I was still traumatized by so many things that happened there and couldn’t do well in my studies. I’m better now.
But I don’t regret meeting you in those three years.
I miss you.
Will you reply?
Please, Spencer. I really need it right now.
Miss you, Lea
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Dear Lea,
It was so good to hear from you. You can’t imagine how important that letter was to me, I recently got a knee injury in the field and it was lonely, not being able to go to the office. There is a lot of bad things going on with our team right now, and I’m extremely worried.
I won’t bother you with the details though, just know that it’s not good and because of that my team couldn’t visit me, and I was dealing with the injury alone. And you know how I am with being alone.
I understand why you were angry, even though it hurt me a great deal. I’m not sure if I’m still hurt, it’s been 7 years. But I do care about you and I want us to be friends again.
Anyway, what can I tell you about me? I love my work, and I love my team, we feel like a makeshift family. The last 7 years that we haven’t talked had been eventful, to say the least.
I’m glad you got your IQ tested, and I agree, I’ve been telling that for ages - there’s no way to accurately measure intelligence. Did you know that some people consider giftedness to be a kind of neurodivergence? It makes sense, since the neurodivergent umbrella covers all sorts of things,schizophrenia, epilepsy, bipolar, NPD, autism, ADHD and so so much more. It would make sense that giftedness - something that, we both know, makes kids bullying targets - is part of that umbrella.
I’m glad you’re back in college, and neuroscience had always been your dream, so I’m really happy for you. But I’m also worried because of your last sentence.
Why do you need me that much? How do you feel lately? Are you okay?
Yours, Spencer