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“Hmmmmm…..”
Kanade stood quietly, observing her fashion-enthused friend as she mulls over a decision between a trendy black bodycon dress and a bright yellow drop-waist.
“Kanade-san, what do you think would look better on me?” Saki asks, holding up both her options.
“Uhhh…”
Kanade attempts to appear as if she’s carefully examining the dresses. Truthfully, she had next to no knowledge on fashion and style. Her only real opinion was that Saki would look good in both dresses—any outfit, really. Though that wouldn't be helpful.
Once again, the cheerful younger girl came to her aid in today's shopping venture. As the contents of her closet came to a shortage of usable jerseys, the shut-in composer reluctantly dragged herself outside to buy new ones– or at least, her circle persuaded her to instead of buying cheap outfits online. Thankfully, the stars aligned for her to bump into a familiar acquaintance in a large department store and just like before, Saki’s fashion expertise alongside the accompaniment of chatter, had Kanade find a nice fitting jersey in no time.
Assisting the other girl in her own fashion endeavors was the least Kanade feels she could do to repay such kindness. Though she was no Mizuki, she still wanted to try and be useful. Especially if the occasion was that important to Saki.
“This party you're attending, is it the kind where you have to appear formal?” Kanade inquires.
Saki shakes her head in response. “Nothing particularly formal! It's sorta like an office gathering! Something casual should be fine but not… too casual, y’know?”
“I see…”
“But, I want to still look as nice and presentable as I can!” She continues. “A lot of important people from the agency will be there. Oh! And other artists under our label could be there too! I want my outfit to exude my individuality. Like saying ‘Hi! This is Tenma Saki, keyboardist and composer of Leo/need!!’ catch my drift?”
“Exude your individuality…” Kanade's eyes land on the yellow dress, a small smile forms on her face as for once, she feels confident in her opinion. “Then maybe that one's a better fit. It's bright in color and has a flowy hem with a floral pattern. I feel like that would show off your personality rather well.”
“Hmmm…” Saki holds up the dress, observing its details better from top to bottom in comparison with the black dress.
“Yeah…Yeah!! You're probably super right! Attagirl, Kanade-san!” Saki commends, flashing a toothy smile. Quickly, she places the black dress back onto the clothing hangers and happily skips ahead, excitement evidently coursing through her veins. Briefly, she stops to look back at her timid companion. “Accompany me to the changing room?”
“Of course.” Kanade smiles, relieved that her input was appreciated.
“Anyways, I'm sosososososoooo excited!!! We're gonna meet new people and maybe some big shots and–”
On the way to the fitting area, Kanade couldn't help but find Saki’s bottomless energy to be a bit overwhelming as the other girl talked on and on about having her first office party. She maintained such a wide smile that'd make one's cheeks hurt. Her bright voice was so loud and boisterous that it may have been heard from across the vast halls of the department store.
Despite finding that jovial demeanor hard to keep up with, Kanade didn't mind Saki's presence at all. Her energy felt infectious in a way that made one’s chest swell during a good day. To Kanade, looking at Saki was comparable to staring directly at the sun as her cheerfulness felt like she emitted natural sunlight; just being around her made Kanade feel warm and fuzzy.
Once they've reached the fitting area and found an available changing room, Kanade stands by the door, holding onto her packaged jerseys while Saki tries on the dress they've chosen together. Loud rummaging was heard from the inside which Kanade wondered if anyone could make such a ruckus in the middle of changing clothes. It could just be Saki’s giddiness in trying on a new outfit. The thought made Kanade quietly chuckle.
She closed her eyes, with nothing but the simple music of the mall’s speakers serving as her sole company while she waited for the bubbly keyboardist to come out and show herself off. The thought of seeing Saki in a nice dress made her excited. The girl has proven to be good at styling; as shown from transforming Kanade’s plain old self to a gorgeous doll-like image that even she thought the girl in the mirror before her was pretty.
What more if Saki styled herself and brought out the best of her person? Kanade could already imagine how she'd look; a bright yellow dress that looked simple but elegant, bringing out that youthful yet mature charm. Her curly locks would flow down her shoulders and she'd wear such a smile that put all eyes on her. She'd look at Kanade and take her hand, talking and laughing with such a beautiful smile and—
“Hey, Kanade-san? Kanade-san, can you hear me?”
Kanade flinched. A part of her feeling thankful Saki had called out to her before she could get lost in a daydream–a very vivid daydream at that.
“Ah! S-sorry, Tenma-san. Did you need anything?” She turned to the other girl who had the door slightly ajar with merely half of her face peaking out.
“I'm having trouble reaching for the zipper,” Saki explains. “If it’s alright with you, can you come in and help me out for a sec?”
“S-sure, of course.” Kanade nods, taking off her shoes then entering the changing room.
Once she locks the door, she's met with Saki’s half-bare back. Kanade felt a slight surge of heat on her cheeks. She has never been alone with someone inside the changing room before. Much less, alone with an attractive girl.
“Just pull that up, Kanade-san,” Saki instructs, facing the mirror. Kanade couldn't help but notice how she held all her hair on one side, having her signature twintails come undone and tying the top to a half-up half-down style. It suited her, Kanade thought. Though she was surprised to see Saki was styling herself to this degree the whole time she waited outside.
Kanade looked ahead, focusing on the simple task at hand. Or rather, she was trying not to stare at such a mesmerizing feminine back for long. Slowly, with shaking fingers, she zips up the dress. The sound of the zipper ringed in her ears as if cutting through the tense silence with a sharp knife.
“There. Looks like it fits you perfectly,” Kanade comments, hoping the sound of her gulp came unnoticed.
Saki stood up straight, assessing her reflection. She allowed her hair to fall on her back and shoulders, taking in her silhouette with the fluttery dress on. Kanade smiles warmly seeing as Saki looked pleased with herself. It was deserved considering how stunning her reflection appeared to be with her dolled-up appearance.
However, Kanade wasn't at all prepared when Saki turns to face her and she gets a closer look at the other girl’s features. The light makeup sharpened the look of her eyes yet not losing its innocence and child-like wonder. Her light red-pink lip gloss stood out to match the paleness of her complexion. Her golden locks were brought down to bring out that relaxed side of hers and the bright color and pattern of the dress summarized her exuberant and joyous persona like Kanade thought it would and more.
The way her luscious curls fell, the way the dress framed her tall gorgeous figure, the way her makeup enhanced her radiant smile– a smile so bright, it rivaled the sun on a bright summer day. The girl before her now is not like the girl Kanade daydreamed a few minutes ago. The real authentic beauty surpassed all facets of imagination. So much so, the shut-in composer who supposedly knew nothing of style, fashion or appearances found the sight before her utterly breathtaking.
Tenma Saki was simply ethereal.
“...Nade-san! Kanade-san? Are you okay?” Saki waves a hand in front of her, trying to grab Kanade’s attention.
“Ah–!” Kanade shook her head. Did she just zone out? “I-I’m so sorry, Tenma-san. D-did you say something?”
“I was asking what you thought of my look? I mean, I really really love it but I wanna know your thoughts,” Saki explains. Her brows knit, a look of concern ridden in her eyes. “More importantly though, are you okay? Am I tiring you?
“No! N-not at all… it's just…” Kanade trails off, cheeks heating up from the embarrassment of making Saki feel guilty of something. After all, she was the one that was… distracted from ogling at her this whole time.
Finally, Kanade collects herself and attempts a warm smile for the wonderful girl in front of her. If there's anything that'd make Saki feel better, it was her honest thoughts.
“I'm sorry, I just… sort of got distracted.”
“Distracted?” Saki tilts her head to the side, the adorable action making Kanade melt.
“Yeah, you looked so radiant and beautiful, it made me feel a lot of things a-and I didn't know what to say,” Kanade explains, feeling the flush of her cheeks as she kept smiling earnestly.
“I…I think you're really amazing, Tenma-san.”
It was such a flustering experience saying all this to another girl while they were alone in a small cramped room. Although it would seem she isn't the only one who got flustered from her deep sincerity. Taking a glance at Saki’s expression, Kanade found she was faring the same way. The keyboardist’s eyes were wide, her mouth agape in astonishment and her cheeks are now pinker than the actual makeup blush she adorned.
“Ehehe… so that's what you think,” Saki chuckles, her voice softer and more unsteady than her usual joyful tone. She wore a timid smile, looking down on the floor with her hands fiddling with the hem of her skirt. “I'm really glad… that you see me that way. You're really sweet, Kanade-san.”
This side of her was something completely new to Kanade but knowing that her own words brought out this Tenma Saki– well, it felt like a secret victory. She didn't feel just warmth looking at Saki, it felt hot. Before she knew it, her whole face started heating up while she stood there dumbfounded.
Beep.
As if to save– or perhaps ruin– the moment, Kanade snaps back to her senses when she hears a notification from her phone. Holding the device up to see the sender, she smiles, reading the message and then promptly sending a reply.
“Ehehe~ Looks like you're in a good mood!” Saki remarks. “Who's that from?”
“Oh, it's from Mafuyu,” Kanade answers as she puts the phone back in her pocket. “We'll be meeting up to have dinner together after this.”
“Eh?” Suddenly, the sweet shy smile from earlier falters. Saki’s eyebrows were raised in surprise though Kanade could read there was something else beneath that expression.
“I…just have dinner with Mafuyu often,” she adds, carefully leaving out the part where they live together. Although, Kanade didn't know why her meeting with Mafuyu would be a big deal.
“Right…” Apprehension was written in Saki’s face as her eyes downcast to the floor as if a sad realization dawned on her.
Kanade looks down at her feet, thinking of a way to get out of this uncomfortably awkward atmosphere that somehow surrounded them.
“I…”
“Can I ask–”
Hearing each other speak at the same time, the two girls paused in startelement before the silence shifted into quiet laughs shared between them.
“Uhm… you could go first, Tenma-san,” Kanade offers. “I don't really have much to say and it seems like you have something you want to ask.”
Saki nodded, nervously clasping her hands together.
“I kinda wanted to know if…” she pauses, summoning the courage to gather her words. She knits her brows, steeling a serious expression. “I want to know… if there's something between you and Asahina-senpai.”
“Hm?” It was Kanade’s turn to tilt her head in confusion.
“It's just that… Icchan and Hona-chan have told me you two are joined at the hip. I've also heard from Mizuki-chan that your connection is something really special. Like, reaaallyyy special,” Saki explains, not making eye contact. “I was just wondering if… like… maybe you two like each other that way?”
‘That way.’ Kanade rewinds the phrase in her mind. Did Saki mean she and Mafuyu had something romantic going on? While it's true that Mafuyu was someone special to her, she never had a particular label for their bond other than a precious friend. Or perhaps people think simple ‘friends’ don't normally have the connection they do?
“To be honest with you, Tenma-san, my relationship with Mafuyu is deep but I've never thought about it as romantic before,” Kanade answers. “I've never experienced romance in my life before so I'm not… I don't know what it means to feel that way yet.”
Saki smiles almost bitterly, looking defeated as she nodded to the response. The sight was enough for Kanade to feel this dulling pain in her chest. She would never intend to make this lovely, delightful, wonderful, beautiful girl sad.
“I guess…” Saki’s voice shook yet she attempted maintain a positive demeanor through faking her grin. “I guess that means you might have feelings for her, right? When you figure it out, that is.”
“That's…” Kanade shakes her head. “That's not really what I'm saying. I don't really know romantic feelings but I don't think that's exactly how I feel about Mafuyu. I'm… I'm mostly sure of that.”
Saki’s face lit up, a light of hope shone in her eyes as if pleasantly surprised. That was good, Kanade thought. It felt nice knowing she could cheer Saki up. Instead of apprehensively avoiding eye contact, she fully locks eyes with Kanade. The same eyes that appeared dejected just a minute ago now laced itself with unspoken conviction.
“If that's the case, you don't mind something like this.”
“Wah?!–”
Before Kanade could process what Saki meant by ‘this’, the latter quickly wrapped her arms around the shorter composer’s shoulders, pulling their bodies closer until their foreheads touched. Kanade couldn't ignore the rapid pounding of her heart once their current position finally clicks in her head. She's never been this physically close with someone before. If it was hot in this cramped space earlier, it was nothing compared to the burning intensity she’s experiencing now. Kanade didn't know if she was about to melt or burn to a crisp.
She stayed speechless, looking into Saki’s fiery and passionate eyes. Yet despite her bold actions, Saki gazed at her in caution, as if studying her senior’s expression.
“W-well…?” Saki inquires, whispering softly.
Kanade's head spun, swimming in a mush of her thoughts of one Tenma Saki. She needed to reassure Saki but she also needed to calm down lest she spout something foolish. For someone to make her heart beat a mile a minute; to make her feel anxious, excited, warm, over the moon and all these emotions at once–
Perhaps Kanade knew what romantic feelings are after all.
After what felt like an eternity of not getting an answer, Saki smiles sheepishly, her eyes faltering once again to a downcast expression.
“I'm…I'm sorry, Kanade-san.” Her apology made Kanade’s heart ache. She loosens her hold, pulling herself away to bring back further distance between them. Kanade didn't like that.
“I'm being too forward, I'm so sor—!”
Instinctively, Kanade places her hands onto Saki’s waist, pulling her close and returning to the position they were just in; foreheads touching, the taller girl’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, eyes locked onto each other.
“No… I’m the one who should apologize, Tenma-san,” Kanade says, her determined eyes conveying her passionate resolve. “I'm sorry for being confusing. I don't mind this at all. I…I could get used to it…with you.”
Relief fills the air as Saki’s gaze softens. The tension was still present but there was comfort there– like a fog had been cleared and an understanding was reached, even if they've yet to discuss their deeper thoughts aloud.
Saki leans closer, narrowing what little distance they've had. The closer she got, the more Kanade felt all her senses were being electrified. Their noses touched, their lips mere inches apart, their breaths intermingling– it was much too overwhelming, however, the young composer did not dare to pull back out of any hesitance, allowing Saki to have her way.
“So… will you be okay with this too ?” she murmured.
Before Kanade could respond, Saki closes the distance completely, lips softly brushing against each other.
For a split second, Kanade froze, her mind reeling as her body flinched to the abruptness of the action. She almost felt embarrassed being unprepared. But as Saki’s lips lingered, warmth bloomed in her chest. Soon, she found herself melting into the kiss, her arms gently tightening her hold on Saki’s waist, keeping their bodies closer. The kiss was soft and chaste– the pair still getting used to this new sensation for the both of them.
Slowly, they pull away, still maintaining close proximity. Kanade examines Saki’s face, the taller girl’s cheeks were flushed in deep crimson – she's sure she wasn't faring well either. Their breaths were ragged, catching up to their hammering heartbeats. Despite their daze, their minds were clear enough to read each other’s eyes.
With no words exchanged, they close their distance once again with a deeper, more passionate kiss. With gentle force that Kanade was unaware she harbored, she pushes Saki against the mirror. The latter’s breath hitched from the slight aggression, though welcomed it all the same as she cups the shorter girl’s face with her palms.
Soon, they shared more kisses, one after another– all of them as passionate, gentle and exploratory as the last. Kanade never realized how much she missed out on her teenhood– not knowing how having such an intimate moment with someone felt this good. Saki felt so good.
Saki was beautiful, so beautiful she couldn't take her eyes off her. Her voice was so bright and pleasant, Kanade thought it to be therapeutic to her ears. Her touch was warm, like a comforting blanket during winter. And her taste… Kanade never found herself addicted to something so sweet– until now.
Then, just as they were finally satisfied, the two girls pulled away from each other fully. Breaths heavier than before and faces fully flushed with beads of sweat running down their temples. Even as Saki looked completely disheveled, Kanade still found her breathtakingly gorgeous.
Oh… that's right, she just ruined Saki’s look.
“I… I’m sorry…” she frowns to herself.
“Ahaha… don't be!” Saki awkwardly chuckles, still trying to catch her breath. “I, uhh… I probably should change back.”
“Right…yeah. O-of course!” Kanade shakes her head, snapping back to reality. That's right, they were in the department store’s changing room– technically in public.
In a flustered panic, she picks up her packaged jerseys, distracting herself from the awkward tension. “Do you… uhh… need help with your zipper?”
“Actually…” Saki weakly turns around, showing her bare back. “You've kind of already helped me with that while we were….yeah….”
“O-oh…r-right,” Kanade stutters, feeling her face burning up. “I'll see myself outside.”
Quickly, she turns to leave the changing room, closing the door behind her. While Saki changes back to her normal clothes, Kanade waits outside, her head swimming in an influx of emotions and thoughts. What just happened? Was that real? Was she imagining things? Did they really just do that? Ever since she stepped inside that small cramped room, her heart rate hasn't been normal since.
The next few minutes went by in a flash as Saki has finally changed and tidies up herself and the two head to the counter to purchase the dress. The entire time, neither girl could quite meet the other’s eyes, only exchanging a few words as the sensation of their little exchange from the changing room lingered in the thick air surrounding them.
Despite currently feeling sheepish and flustered, a part of Kanade also felt uneasy. Was all of that just a one-time thing? Or will their relationship change from now on? The thought of the former made her heart ache. As selfish as it sounds, she wanted to have more of these moments with Saki. However, the thought of the latter question was also anxiety-inducing.
‘Will I be okay for her?’
As they stepped out of the store into the bustling halls of the shopping mall, Saki finally looked at her, face beaming brightly. It was enough to melt Kanade’s worries away. She envies how Saki could bounce back to her usual cheerful demeanor so easily.
"Well, that’s done! Thanks for helping me pick out this dress, Kanade-san!" she said, grinning as she tossed her bag over her shoulder, her signature twin tails bobbing around her shoulders.
“I-I’m glad I could help…r-really,” Kanade stammered, still a little dazed.
Saki turned to her with a soft but bright smile, her eyes sparkling with sheer warmth and joy. Once again, to Kanade, it was like staring at the sun on a good day.
"Well, I have to run to my part-time job now," she said. "But I’ll see you around, okay? Call me sometime?”
“O-of course! Anything for you!” Kanade exclaims, surprised her speaking voice could get that loud in conversation.
As quickly as she could, Saki leans down, pressing a soft kiss to Kanade’s cheek. “It’s a promise,” she whispers.
Kanade froze, her heart hammering in her chest. She blinked, still too shocked to respond properly. Before she knew it, Saki had waved goodbye and disappeared into the crowd.
Was this it? Was this the beginning of something? Were they together now? Her mind was reeling, and she could barely form a coherent thought.
She stood still for a long moment, hand reaching out to her cheek. She still felt the warmth Saki had left. And with that warmth, a newfound feeling of happiness bloomed within. She smiled wide. For the first time, she understood what it’s like being a giddy love-struck teenage girl.
Out of nowhere, a voice broke through her haze of thoughts.
"Kanade."
She turned, startled. A familiar face was standing just a few feet away with arms crossed, her expression unreadable.
“Mafuyu??” Kanade hadn’t even realized that her close friend was already at their meet-up point.
“I was waiting for you here for quite some time,” Mafuyu deadpans.
“Sorry…”
“It's fine.”
Mafuyu raised an eyebrow, her eyes flicking to areas of Kanade’s face, making the latter tense up.
"Mmm… Kanade?"
"Hm?"
Mafuyu’s gaze settles on Kanade’s lips before moving to her cheek.
"You might want to be careful when abusing the changing rooms with Tenma-san," she says bluntly. "People will see the evidence on your face."
Kanade’s eyes widened, and her fingers instinctively brushed through her lips.
"E-eh?!" she stammers, feeling her face burn crimson for what felt like the millionth time today. "It’s not—! I mean, it was… but…"
"It’s okay, Kanade. I won’t tell anyone," Mafuyu says, sounding unimpressed. Opening her purse, she takes out a small pack of wet tissue. "But you might want to clean that up before someone else notices."
"Thanks…" she muttered, still trying to process everything as she takes the wet tissues she was handed.
A ghost of a smile forms in Mafuyu’s lips. She walks ahead, slow enough for her companion to catch up.
"Congrats, Kanade,” she says softly.
Kanade smiled, hearing her friend’s support meant the world to her. She wasn’t sure what will happen– what a future with Tenma Saki holds. The kisses, the holding, the tension, the passionate feelings, all this intimacy still felt foreign to her.
And somehow, even with all the anxiety she feels and the uncertainty of entering a romantic relationship, a stronger part of her also feels a rush of excitement. Balancing between Niigo, her own burdens and having a partner would introduce new challenges in her life. But, if it's with the most wonderful, most talented and the most amazing girl she's ever met, then maybe it's good to hope for the future.
She couldn’t wait to see Saki again.