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We're Not in Kansas Anymore

Summary:

"And they say they're gonna fucking murder him.

 

But here I am, still dancing.
Maybe I didn't sleep at all, not a wink.
No. My brain just kept on cooking.
And that… That's never good.
But next thing you know, the plane's landing."

 

Found poetry sourced from s1e1: Pilot

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Do you want it?
Did you do it yourself?
Whatever it is, let me have it,
And I wish him the best of luck.
Still, if I'm being completely honest,
I don't like either of you.
Now what do you think's worse?
Perhaps being the last to know?
You’re preparing a list? No, that won't be necessary.
From the other side of the Atlantic-- one man.
He took those believers all the way to the promised land;
Caught celebrating a moment of joy
In a way that you really have to see to understand.

Good luck with the most beautiful game. Do us proud.

---

And they say they're gonna fucking murder him.

But here I am, still dancing.
Maybe I didn't sleep at all, not a wink.
No. My brain just kept on cooking.
And that… That's never good.
But next thing you know, the plane's landing.

I think this is us right here.
I mean, we packed 'em, we'll carry 'em.
And I got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, right? That's kinda nice.
Yeah. Thought that might do the trick.
I'm not sure if it worked, but...
Feels different, Coach.
I mean, the same, but different.

Metaphor.

You know it, baby.

---

Excuse me! Oi! Get off! Get off the pitch!
Oh, God. You're the new manager.
You-- take all the grass you want.
We just had it cut.
I can go through the garbage.
I can get you some more.
And you-- no one ever asks my name.
Oh, it's--

Here we go.
Anything, as long as
I can't feel a hint of it, is good.
Although… when in Rome, right?
Yeah. Get used to it, sucker.

---

Once this was a hospital.
Some of the locals claim
They still see fallen soldiers wandering about.

Do you believe in ghosts? I do.
But more importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves.
Speaking of, good times aren't always a good time, I've found.
You know, I heard about all that.
Can’t have been the easiest year.

I'm so sorry. I thought you knew.
They're ready for you now.

Oh, yeah, no. Should've seen that coming.

Real quick, how about you go ahead and address
The larger-than-average elephant in the room:
You’ll tell them what you do know.
You know that they’re gonna go out there
And give you everything they got.
They're gonna give you everything they got
For two halves, win or lose.

Or tie.

Right, sorry. That's going to take some getting used to.
Might as well be the first sign of the apocalypse,
Back at home. Back at home,
Nobody can understand a thing.

And one final question. Despite clearly possessing
Very little knowledge of the game, you are here.

Is there a question in there?

Yeah. Is this a fucking joke?
I mean, can you even name any footballers?

Well, you got Ronaldo.
The fella who bends it like himself--

And who the fuck are you anyway?

I actually don't know the answer to that.
Yeah, yeah. No, yeah. No, no, I...

Coach, good lord.
We seem to have abandoned
All sense of manners and hospitality.
Yet here you are. And you know, for so long,
I've witnessed nothing but profound mediocrity.
Am I wrong?

Well, it's a bit harsh.

Am I wrong?

No. I'm sorry about that.
I don't know what happened.

Don't think about them for another second.
You have a job to do.

I appreciate that... Thank you, Coach.

---

I was a bit skeptical,
But after hearing you speak, he’s just what we need.

He's an absolute wanker.

Pardon?

I hope he fails miserably.
He will help me burn this to the ground.
'Cause I want to torture them all,
Just in and out, over and over,
in a constant loop.
Like a GIF. That's what GIFs do, isn't it?
They're just...
Endless.
I'm gonna get it though.

---

And there’s the team captain. Classic old-school box-to-box midfielder.
Definitely lost a step. But, you know, he's a legend.
And that’s the top scorer on the team.
Yeah, you know fellas like that.

Smells like potential.
But I think they call it something else here.

Don't stop what you're doing.
You gotta stay up.
Come on, man.
You've had a heck of a career.
Never thought it would end.

He thinks he's mad now,
He'll be furious then.

What are we even doing there?

I'm sorry. Are you all right?
Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Though, I believe we’re crooked.

Now here I am thinking it was the room
That was all outta whack.
All right. How 'bout that?

---

Hey, this you? That one?

Already burning the midnight oil?

On the diagonal.
What is wrong with you?

It's just that everything
feels like it's stuck right here.
I'm not sure I can do this.
Or, well, I suppose I accept.

Wonderful.
Oh, and I know that there'll be
Elements to this that will weigh on you a bit.
But I'm sure it won't be harder
Than it was for all those years.

---

This is you, Coach.
And I almost forgot: Get some sleep.
It's gonna take some getting used to, yeah.
But I think once we get going,
It's gonna go all right.

What? No, what did I say?
But that's what I'm doing though.
I'm giving you that space.
And myself. Right.
Hey,
I love you.
No, no, that's okay. You don't have to.
Really. Yeah. Okay. I just wanted to hear your voice.
All right, now. Good night.

 

Shoot. Now I can't sleep.

Notes:

a billion thanks to my dear friend E (lyricsandlaziness) for encouraging me to do this, and for being awesome in general. if my AP Literature teacher somehow finds this, sorry i worked on it instead of my homework. can i get extra credit?