Chapter Text
The Ultimate Challenge was a popular reality TV show. Millions of viewers across all demographics–teens and young adults, senior citizens and those having mid-llife crises–tuned in every year to see who out of twenty-four select individuals would come out on top. Now, the appeal of the show, besides being a frankly terrifying blend of American Ninja Warrior, American Idol, and Jeopardy! was that the majority of it was livestreamed on YouTube. Sure, there were certain extras and bonuses one had to pay to see, but the main episodes were available for anyone who had an Internet connection. Additionally, the livestream added an element of authenticity that some felt “normal” reality TV was missing.
Dipper would like to let everyone know that he didn’t want to be here, but that wouldn’t help his chance at winning. He was doing this for Mabel. “For Waddles!” She’d said. And yeah, Waddles did apparently need a medicine she couldn’t afford because he had some obscure swine illness, and she needed the ten thousand dollar prize the winner received, but he wasn’t expecting Pacifica Northwest of all people to be here.
His sister’s old mini golf rival and tormentor still wore enough makeup that she probably didn’t remember what her face looked like without it, she still maintained her haughty demeanor, and she still hadn’t changed her outfit from the lavender dress, purple jacket, boots, and high ponytail. The only thing that was different were her earrings. Instead of hoops, her earrings were shaped like two little bells. Dipper’s outfit hadn’t changed much either, but he wore jeans and a long sleeved T-shirt without the vest. At least, he did when he was competing. At home, he often donned a vest and shorts.
On their first day, she’d taken one look at him and said, “What are you doing here, Pines?”
“What do you think I’m doing here, Northwest?” He retorted. They were twenty-one years old, and she still hadn’t changed a bit.
She crossed her arms. “I don’t know, but I know that you’re going to be losing.”
And that’s when Dipper’s time at The Ultimate Challenge went insane. One of the showrunners overheard the exchange and asked about the history between them. They both responded with mild insults– “he’s a loser who I had to see every summer growing up” “she’s an entitled rich brat.” The showrunner, a lanky redhead named Carl, got stars in his eyes at the juicy drama before him.
Then he asked them to pretend to be exes. “For the drama!”
Pacifica smirked, glancing at him. “You think you can pull off being my ex-boyfriend?”
“I wouldn’t be caught dead with you,” Dipper replied.
She gazed disinterestedly at a ring on her finger. It was a simple thing, just a band of metal. He hadn’t noticed it before. “It’ll up your popularity, which will up your chances of winning this thing.”
“Why do you care so much anyway?” Pacifica pushing for them to pretend to be exes? Something about this wasn’t right.
“Because it’ll also boost my popularity, which will up my chances of winning as well.” She flashed a charming smile, her eyes cold as ice, mesmerizing him.
He gritted his teeth. “I’ll do it.” He needed every advantage. For Mabel.
)( )( )(
When Pacifica won the first challenge, a trivia competition, Dipper was glad he had a reason to not hide his irritation that he’d lost to the Northwest heir during the ensuing interview about how he felt about losing his first challenge.
“She’s stuck-up and spoiled. This will only make Pacifica more insufferable than usual,” he told the interviewer.
“You speak about her as if you knew her before. What is your relationship to Miss Northwest?”
“She’s my ex-girlfriend. She left me because she lost a mini golf match to my sister.”
)( )( )(
“Honestly, I’m feeling pretty great,” Pacifica said during her own interview. “I was raised to be the best, and the best I will be. Doesn’t matter if Dipper’s giving me death glares, I’ll beat The Ultimate Challenge.”
“Who is Dipper?”
“Oh, he’s going by Mason here. Mason Pines. He’s my ex-boyfriend. I left him after a date ended up with us both in the dumpster. He’s a bit of an adrenaline junkie. But enough about him!”
)( )( )(
Comments
James
This is my comfort show ngl
truthordareordie
Dang, Mason is salty
Replies
Granny’s Apple Pie
Pacifica is a little stuck up tbf
Juniper
Okay but how does a date end up with one in the dumpster???
Granny’s Apple Pie
Skill issue ig
Granny’s Apple Pie
Veronica is underrated in this fr fr
Chocolatier
The looks Mason kept on giving Pacifica are killing me loool. But I gotta say, didn’t expect the lore about their history! Gotta wonder who’s telling the truth about why they broke up tho
Replies
Man of Mystery
I’d bet on neither of them. These types of shows are always fake, no matter how much they advertise their honesty.
Juniper
Most of us are aware. No need to be a grump about it.
Chocolatier
I just want to know what’s canon lol
Man of Mystery
What do cannons have to do with it
Rhea’s Arts & Crafts
Everyone talking about Mason and Pacifica’s history, none of them talking about how smart our girl is to know the name for a collective group of pandas
Lilybug
An embarrassment is what this show has become
Replies
Juniper
If you don’t like it you can just leave
ElsieElsewhere
Mason and Pacifica exes confirmed?? Didn’t see that coming.
Replies
Juniper
They do have that jilted lovers vibe going on
honorarypines
I always sensed something weird between them . . . like they were somewhere between murdering each other and kissing each other. Perhaps it was meant to be?
bigsister
We’re all cheering you on, Dipper!
Shooting Star
Come on, bro, you should’ve known from all my rambling that a group of pandas is an embarrassment!
Replies
Plz don’t eat me!
Actually it was us who you rambled to about pandas. It was very informative!
Pacifica read the comments with satisfaction. Besides a few negative comments about her attitude, she and Dipper’s stunt had made them popular. She told him. And that’s why she was going to his room right now–to rub it in his face. That was the only reason.
Right?
“Dipper!” She said, knocking on the door. “Open up!”
Dipper’s roommate opened the door, staring at her blearily. “Pacifica?”
“Sorry if I woke you,” she told him, the words strange on her tongue. “I’d like to see Dipper.”
The roommate–Trevor, she was pretty sure–leaned back and yelled, “Mason! Your girlfriend’s here.”
“I know, I know, I’m coming. Also, ex -girlfriend. The ex is the most important part,” Dipper said, walking out into the hall with her. “So what is it?”
“I’m not sorry if I woke you, since it’s ten in the morning. The fake exes thing worked.” She held up her phone, YouTube comments open. “We’re popular.”
Dipper glanced through the comments. He pursed his lips. “Do you want me to say you were right?”
She snorted. “It’d be nice to hear it, but I don’t expect you to say it.”
He smiled. “Good. By the way, I told them you dumped me after my sister beat you at mini golf.”
“And I told them that I dumped you because you’re an adrenaline junkie and a date ended with us in the dumpster,” she replied, wanting him to know what she’d gotten him into.
She wasn’t expecting him to laugh. It was kind of cute. She’d rarely heard him laughing growing up, instead being on the receiving end of numerous glares and revenge pranks. She’d never admit it, but she respected how much he cared for his sister. He was still laughing. “How does a date end up with us in the dumpster?”
“I don’t know, but you’d better figure it out, dumpster boy,” she replied. “See you around, Dipper.”
“Yeah! See you.” He waved as she left.
It was only when she was back in her dorm that she realized she hadn’t truly rubbed it in his face. Eh, she thought, plenty of time to be right about other things. Then I’ll rub it in his face . . . his stupid cute, nerdy face . . . I’m thinking nonsense now.
After all, she didn’t actually want to be friends with her former rival’s brother. She didn’t enjoy bantering with him. She definitely didn’t think he was cute. And there was absolutely no chance of anything resembling anything at all happening between them. She’d win, take the reward, bask in her fame, and leave Dipper behind, never to be seen again.
Her heart didn’t seize up at the idea of never seeing him again. It didn’t.
Pacifica had always been the best at lying to herself.