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The road was unusually peaceful, especially for Christmas Eve. Todd wasn’t in a hurry to drive, so he followed the road slowly. The only times he ever took this path were to visit his parents on Thanksgiving or Christmas, but today was different. Usually, Todd hated different—it was uncomfortable and stressful—but for the first time, he didn’t have to think of Christmas as a social event full of people he hated asking stupid questions. This Christmas, he would be with the only people who truly knew him.
Todd looked at the houses through the car window, wondering what it would be like to live in a place like this. His apartment was as tiny as the cheapest one in New York, and to make things worse, he had to share the cramped space with his roommate. To be honest, he didn’t mind the company that much— in a way, it made him feel less alone.
From a distance, he could already see the top of one of Welton’s towers, and a wave of memories flooded his mind. He remembered how Charlie used to torment everyone in the school hallways—Mr. Nolan probably fainted the first time he saw him on TV. Now, every time he turned on the damn television, he saw Nuwanda’s face plastered on some annoying perfume commercial. He also remembered Meeks and Pitts’ radio, how they would spend entire afternoons fixing and upgrading it. Pitts had pursued his passion for technology, while Todd could barely use a computer. Meeks had sent letters to Pitts until his last days at war, and when the letters stopped, they all knew what it meant. It was Pitts himself who broke the news to everyone—no one had ever seen him so sad.
Now, he remembered Knox’s passionate speeches about Chris. Honestly, no one in the group really thought it would go that far, but in the end, they were all invited to be his groomsmen, though Todd had declined.
Todd had to admit he was surprised by Knox’s sudden invitation, but he accepted immediately. No matter how painful it was to return to that place, it reminded him of who he truly was, of who he used to be.
When he finally found himself at the door of the house, he felt just as nervous as he had in his youth—he hadn’t felt that way since his first time teaching at a school. Taking a deep breath, he knocked three times.
The response was quick.
“Oh, you must be Todd, right? I remember you,” Chris said as she opened the door. She looked remarkably well for her age. Her hair was slightly darker than he remembered. She was dressed rather elegantly—fancy, probably expensive clothes, paired with a pearl necklace.
Todd responded with a small smile and greeted her.
“Knox is so excited! He’s been talking about this all week, practically counting down the days to Christmas Eve and—”
Before Chris could finish, a familiar voice rang through the house.
“Todd?”
Footsteps approached, and Knox appeared from the living room.
“Todd!”
He embraced him immediately, and upon pulling away, he looked at Todd as if he were seeing a ghost—as if he couldn’t believe he had actually come. Then, he let out a quiet laugh, ran a hand over his forehead, clearly in disbelief.
“Wow… it’s so good to see you.”
“Yeah, yeah… It’s good to see you too,” Todd carefully touched his old friend’s shoulder. So much time had passed, yet Knox still seemed like the same lovestruck boy from twenty years ago.
“Well, I think the kids and I will be heading out now. We don’t want to get in the way of your little reunion,” Chris said with a chuckle as she called the children. Two teenagers and three younger kids made their way toward her. One of the boys looked especially uninterested, wearing a pair of headphones. “Neil, sweetheart, leave the headphones here.”
Neil.
Todd hadn’t heard that name in years. The only person who ever said Neil’s name was himself. Sometimes, when he managed to be alone in his apartment, he would stare at the wall and pretend he was talking to Neil. It was comforting for a while, especially when he started teaching, but he had to stop after his roommate caught him talking to himself. The look he got was enough to make him feel ridiculous.
“What? Why, Mom?” the boy asked stubbornly, looking at his father as if asking for backup.
“Don’t look at me, and besides, your mother’s right. It’s Christmas—time to be with family, not listening to music.”
The boy rolled his eyes but didn’t argue.
Knox gave his wife a quick kiss before she and the others left, which made the youngest daughter scrunch up her nose in disgust.
“There are kids here, you know, Dad?” one of the boys said, covering his younger siblings’ eyes.
Chris rolled her eyes and looked at Todd.
“Oh, it was really nice seeing you, by the way,” she said with a somewhat affectionate expression. “Knox tells the kids stories about the Dead Poets all the time, you know… You all really seemed inseparable.”
There was almost a look of pity in her eyes.
“Well, I have to go. Have a great night.”
The door closed, and Todd stared at it for a moment, thinking about what she had said, but he was soon pulled from his thoughts by Knox.
“Come on, Charlie’s in the dining room.”
…
The dining room, like every room in Knox’s house, was huge. The table stretched from one end to the other, surrounded by at least fifteen chairs. Todd expected nothing less from a couple with five kids.
At the head of the table, sitting like a king, was Charlie. He swirled his wine glass with a satisfied smile. As soon as he saw them, he grinned widely.
“Anderson, finally! I was getting tired of listening to Knox talk.” He got up to greet him, but a handshake wasn’t enough. He quickly pulled Todd into a tight embrace, just as warm as the one he had given him when Neil was gone.
The three of them sat at the table—Charlie at the head, Knox to his right, and Todd to his left.
“So, what have you been up to?” Knox asked, pouring wine into Todd’s glass.
“Grading papers,” Todd answered with a shy smile.
Not even Todd had imagined he would become a teacher—not just because he couldn't speak in public when he was younger, but because of the constant memory of Mr. Keating watching him through the doorway as he left. However, over time, Todd realized that the classroom was his stage. Maybe that was how Neil felt when he acted, and that thought, in some way, made him feel closer to him.
“I bet the brats you teach don’t even compare to us, huh?” Charlie said.
“No one ever will.”
Charlie shrugged.
“Maybe someday…” he began, his tone turning slightly melancholic. “Maybe your boys can revive the group—the Dead Poets.”
He pointed at Knox now.
“Maybe they can finish what we started, read poetry together until they’re wrinkled and old, like we should have…”
Todd’s stomach churned. Neil should have been there. Meeks should have been there. They should have been sitting in the chairs beside them, laughing, talking nonsense. If things had gone that way, maybe Knox’s son wouldn’t be named Neil, and maybe he would have been the kids’ godfather alongside Charlie. If things had gone that way, maybe Meeks would have been Pitts’ business partner at the electronics shop.
It was clear to Todd that the three of them had very different perspectives on this dinner.
The thought of seeing other boys—especially Knox’s children—in the cave, reading poems the way they had done more than twenty years ago, made Todd uncomfortable. It felt like a curse. And he knew how it ended.
Before an awkward silence could fill the room completely, the doorbell rang.