Work Text:
He couldn’t give it to him. It was too embarrassing, too soon, too everything.
Akito stared forlornly down at the rings in his hands, a perfect matching pair. Something so small and simple had caused so much grief for him over the past couple days. His close friends had noticed, and even those he barely spoke to knew something was up.
“Why do you look like that?” Kusanagi frowned at him from her seat. Class hadn’t started yet and she was situating her switch around under her desk, presumably looking for the best angle to both effectively play and hide it from their teacher.
“What do you mean?” Akito asked politely, quickly putting the rings in his pocket.
She looked him up and down. “You look like you’re in physical pain.”
“Akito always looks like that,” An’s voice answered from the doorway. “It means his brain is trying to form a thought.” She waltzed right in and sat herself on Akito’s desk like she owned it.
“Fuck off, An.” He pushed her off his desk and she pouted before settling into the seat in front of him.
“No witty remark? Wow, something must really be wrong.” As much as he and An liked to bully each other, he could sense real concern in her voice. “So, what is it? Is it that time of month? Did Ena steal the last piece of cheesecake?” He said nothing. “Any time now, I’m running out of ideas.”
Kusanagi piped up, “Is it about Tsukasa?”
Akito flinched the slightest bit at the mention of his boyfriend, and he could tell both girls caught it. “It’s… yeah, I guess you could say that.”
Kusanagi narrowed her eyes. “You’re not breaking up with him, are you?” Her voice was low and menacing, and his eyes widened and immediately threw his hands up.
”No! No fuckin’ way. Why would I—?” He cut himself off, then started again. “It is definitely not that. I have… a gift for him, but I dunno how to give it to him.” No way was he telling them that he bought them matching rings. An had enough ammunition on him anyway.
From in front of him, An laughed so hard she had to stop and catch her breath. Looks like she didn’t need the details to make fun of him. How Akito despised her, sometimes.
”What.” Akito grit out, not in any mood for An’s teasing.
She shook her head, still recovering from her little fit, then said, “He’s your boyfriend, dude, just give it to him.”
Akito flushed. Objectively, he knew she was right. They had been dating for five months, and while they were in no way awkward and shy around each other, this felt different to Akito. It felt like commitment. Commitment he wasn’t sure was reciprocated as strongly as Akito felt it. Maybe devotion was the right word, or adoration. He knew Tsukasa loved him— he had said it too many times to not be true— but. But rings? That’s— that has a whole other level of implications to it.
A snicker and a quiet comment broke him from his thoughts. “Aaaand we lost him,” An giggled. “That look means he’s thinking mushy, gross thoughts about Tsukasa-senpai.”
“Oh, just fuck right off, Shiraishi, like you don’t look stupid when you wax poetic about Kohane,” he growled back.
An held up her hands in mock surrender. “Never said anything about looking stupid, Akito. You really should hold yourself in higher regard.” Akito was on his feet before she even finished talking, but she quickly was up and out the door before Akito could take another step. Her laughter echoed down the hallway. He sensed a headache in his future.
He scowled and sat back down, slumping backward in his desk.
“Hey,” Kusanagi said, not looking up from her game. He glanced towards her. “If you break up with him, I break you.” The lack of eye contact made it all the more threatening, and he suppressed a shudder at her words.
“You don’t have to worry about that…” he muttered, releasing a heavy breath.
She paused and finally looked up at him. “And you should just give him the gift. What’s he gonna do, give it back and say he hates it?”
He might. Then Akito would have to drop out of school, legally change his name, and live as a hermit in some far off place where the name Tenma Tsukasa has never reached. He might even dye his hair again to ward off any suspicion.
He didn’t say any of that, though. In fact, he didn’t say anything. Kusanagi went back to her game and Akito to his wallowing. It was only Monday, he realized. He could not wait for this week to be over already.
—
Because god hates him and the universe had long since abandoned him, he actually got to see Tsukasa today.
Under normal circumstances, Akito would not be complaining. Hell, he actually counted down the days until they got to hang out outside of school, since they are both always so busy with their performances and practices.
These were not normal circumstances.
They have planned out days where they hang out somewhere at least once a week, and today, Tsukasa would be coming over to Akito’s house to hang (maybe cuddle and kiss a bit if he was lucky). Akito always looked forward to these days, for obvious reasons.
Now, though? He considered calling Tsukasa and feigning sick, really hamming it up with a fake cough and everything. Past him would have immediately mutinied, wanting no part in Present Akito’s train of thought. But Past Akito also hasn’t bought matching promise rings for his boyfriend and had a crisis over them. He should consider himself lucky.
But he didn’t call in sick. He could never deny himself the joy of seeing Tsukasa, and if that made him selfish, so be it. He could act normal in front of Tsukasa. He’d done it ever since he met him and had to pretend he was thinking totally normal thoughts about his long eyelashes, or his pretty hair, or the way his eyes lit up when he saw Akito—
Whatever. The point is, Akito can be normal.
And normal he was.
When Tsukasa came over around eleven, Akito opened the door for him and returned his enthusiastic hug with a little pat on Tsukasa’s back. Regular Akito. When Tsukasa followed him up to his room and sat on his bed, Akito sat in his desk chair with his hands in his lap. Average Akito behavior. When Tsukasa lied down on said bed and patted the space next to him, Akito suddenly was very thirsty and excused himself to go get some water. Business as usual.
He came back to find Tsukasa sitting up, a confused expression on his face. Akito set the glass of water down on the nightstand and sat down on the edge of the bed, considerably far away from Tsukasa. His frown deepened.
Akito decided to bite the bullet. “What’s wrong, you look weird.” Nice. Akito was such a good boyfriend.
Tsukasa fiddled with his fingers, suddenly looking very nervous and upset. “Oh! Um, nothing’s wrong with me. It’s just—”
He looked up at Akito, a glare and downright conviction taking over his face. “What’s wrong with you?” He pushed an accusing finger directly into Akito’s chest, making him jump.
Akito immediately retaliated. He grabbed the hand near his chest and held it between his own, pushing Tsukasa back onto the bed as he did. Leaning over him now, he began his assault of tickles on Tsukasa’s stomach, hips, and anywhere else he could reach.
“I’m great, absolutely nothing the matter.” Tsukasa’s laughter made him grin, and he continued his attack. Tsukasa kicked and tried to push him off with his free hand, so Akito grabbed that one too and leaned down, faces almost touching from their proximity.
The smile abruptly dropped from Tsukasa’s face. Akito frowned. Maybe he went too far?
“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” Akito asked gently. They played around like this quite often, so Akito didn’t think much of it. But then what could it be?
“This is the most normal you’ve acted today,” Tsukasa said without preamble. He pushed Akito off and slowly sat up. Akito followed.
“I don’t know what I did— if I was too touchy or was being too much recently, but—” He cut himself off. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry.”
Akito’s heart stopped in his chest, blood turning cold and freezing him in place.
Tsukasa continued. “I know I can be pretty overbearing sometimes, not to mention loud. And I also know you like alone time once in a while, but we really haven’t seen each other much this week, so I thought it would be fine.” Akito still couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. “You’ve been kind of distant and I…” He trailed off and his face shifted into one of absolute horror. “Are you… breaking up with me?” He whispered it, as if saying it too loud would speak it into existence.
That snapped Akito out of his trance immediately.
“No! Tsukasa, I swear, I would never, I don’t think I could live without—” Akito took Tsukasa’s hands in his once again, but this time he held them gently to his chest, as if he was afraid to break him.
He muttered to himself, “God, I’m such an idiot.”
Tsukasa finally looked at him as Akito began to dig through his pants pocket, cursing when his hands shook too much to be useful. Finally, he found what he was looking for.
Akito took a steadying breath before trying to speak, before he realized he had no idea what to say. Great. Amazing. His mind failed him when he needed it most, and now Tsukasa was going to leave because he took too long to just say—
“I love you.”
…
Tsukasa blinked.
Akito cursed himself to hell and back.
Then, some part of him just said fuck it, and he threw caution to the wind.
“Tsukasa, I have been infatuated with you ever since I heard your voice from my classroom on the first day of school, before Toya even introduced us. You’re loud, annoying, and sometimes way too wild for me to keep up with, but I love you all the same. All those little things make up you, and no one else could ever come close, but god Tsukasa, that’s the thing. No one else could ever make me feel the way you make me feel. I know we’re young and so, so stupid but—” His hands were sweaty, and Tsukasa was silent and completely still next to him. The rings in his hand were ice cold. He willed his body to move.
He slid off the couch and onto one knee, holding up the shitty little orange ring he found at the shitty little jewelry shop. Time stopped, and for a moment, Akito didn’t even realize what he was doing. He risked a glance up at Tsukasa.
His eyes were glued to the ring, but when Akito stopped speaking, they darted up to his face, then back to the ring.
“Akito, we’re still in high sch—“
Any romanticism swiftly abandoned Akito’s body. “It’s a promise ring, you fucking dumbass.”
Tsukasa blinked rapidly for one moment before letting out a single “Oh.”
Akito sighed. This was the guy he was madly in love with? At least he’s pretty, Akito joked to himself.
He thought about getting up off the floor, seeing as Tsukasa hadn’t said anything in a while and his knees were starting to cramp. At least, that’s what he told himself. He could reason it however he wanted to, but he knew he couldn’t move because of the massive weight that was still on his shoulders. Maybe he fucked it all up, did he fuck it all up? Tsukasa would now see what a pathetic loser Akito was, wonder how he ever got tricked into dating him, and leave Akito kneeling on the floor in his room and never come back.
Hurry the fuck up, Tsukasa, just say something already c’mon c’mon come on.
”I…” Akito was broken from his train of thought, whipping his head back up to stare at Tsukasa.
If someone were to ask Akito what happened next, honest to god, he wouldn’t be able to utter a single word on the subject. One second he was kneeling and the next he was sprawled on the floor, Tsukasa on top of him and hugging him so tight he couldn’t breathe.
Tsukasa was crying. Akito could tell from the way his body shook against his own and the damp patches forming on the shoulder of his t-shirt. Hesitantly, Akito brought a hand up to comfort him by patting him consolingly on the back.
Akito didn’t want to push, but… “Soooo not to rush you, but the anticipation kinda makes me wanna die, so any time you’re ready, what’s the verdict?” He tried for a cool and unbothered tone. He missed the mark by hundreds of meters.
Tsukasa pushed himself up and stared down at Akito, their positions from mere moments before reversed.
“Yes, you absolute idiot!” Akito flinched from the sudden volume, but he couldn’t even be bothered to care. His grin widened as Tsukasa kept talking. “You didn’t have to confess a second time, we’re already freaking dating!” He snatched the ring from Akito’s hand and slipped it onto his finger. He held it up to the light, twisting his hand around to admire it. Akito, slowly being crushed to death and not minding one bit, stared at the wrinkle between his brows and knew he had never been more in love than he was in this moment.
He sighed dreamily and Tsukasa’s attention snapped back to him. “Well,” he prodded. “You have one, too, right?” Akito did. He handed it to Tsukasa, and Tsukasa didn’t even hesitate to slide it onto Akito’s ring finger before lacing their hands together.
They sat there, just enjoying each other’s presence. No words needed to be exchanged. Akito could drift off right here, right now, with nothing to interrupt—
“I’m never letting you live this down, by the way,” Tsukasa said from above him. Akito opened his eyes from where they had fallen closed without his knowledge.
“I mean,” Tsukasa continued, “who buys a promise ring for their partner, freaks out about it, stops touching them, gives them the wrong idea—“
“Okay, okay, I get it!” Akito whined, squirming around underneath Tsukasa. “I’m stupid and I should have just given it to you when I first got them. You’ve made your point.”
Tsukasa smiled. “Although, your second confession was cute. I wish I would have recorded it. Don’t I feel special, having been given such wonderful confessions by my wonderful kouhai?”
Akito groaned and buried his face in his hands. He caught sight of the ring and groaned again, for good measure. “I’m never doing anything nice for you again.”
Tsukasa laughed and pulled Akito’s hands away from his face, leaning down to kiss him. First on the nose, then both his eyes, his cheeks, and then finally his lips. Akito hummed enthusiastically and opened his mouth, but Tsukasa pulled away before the kiss could deepen.
“Too bad, even if you don’t, you’re stuck with me. What is it you said, ‘who else could there possibly be?’”
”You’re paraphrasing!” Akito accused, but he didn’t have it in him to pretend to be mad. He was happier than he had ever been. Tsukasa always made him feel that way. He shows Akito his best self and then goes and makes him even better. To be loved is to be changed, or however the saying went. Akito never knew how true it was until he was loved by Tsukasa. And maybe it was the same for Tsukasa. He could only hope so.
But as he looked at the face of the smiling boy before him, he knew it was true. Whenever one of them inevitably proposed for real, they would change then, too. And Akito knew it would be for the better.