Work Text:
Heeseung walked into the dimly lit bar, the sounds of clinking glasses and muted conversations enveloping him. He had needed a break from the stress of exams and basketball practice. As he made his way to the bar, his eyes scanned the room to find his friends, and that’s when he saw him - Jay, his ex-boyfriend of 7 years, laughing and kissing another guy.
Heeseung’s heart sank, a mix of emotions swirling inside him. He hadn’t seen or heard from Jay in a year, not since Jay had blocked him out of his life. Not since Jay cried begging him to fix their relationship. Heeseung had tried to reach out, to apologize and make amends, but Jay had shut him out completely, blocked him in all his social media accounts and vanished into thin air.
Now, as he watched Jay with someone else, some other guy, Heeseung couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret and longing. He had taken Jay for granted, assuming that their relationship was strong enough to withstand his momentary lapses in judgment.
Heeseung ordered a drink and sat down at the bar, his eyes fixed on Jay and the other guy. They seemed happy, lost in their own little world. Heeseung, on the other hand, felt lost and alone, wondering what could have been if he had only appreciated what he had when he had it.
As the night wore on, Heeseung couldn’t bring himself to leave. He was stuck, watching the man he loved move on with his life. The realization hit him hard - he had lost Jay, and it was all his own fault.
Heeseung’s mind wandered back to the past, to the memories he and Jay had shared. They had been together since they were 15, and for a long time, everything had been perfect. They were each other’s first love, and they had grown up together.
But as they got older, things started to change. Heeseung’s basketball career took off, and he found himself spending more and more time with his team. Jay, on the other hand, was pursuing his passion for fine arts. They had less and less time for each other, and Heeseung started to take Jay for granted.
He remembered the first time he had ignored Jay’s calls and messages. He had been at a basketball tournament, and he had gotten caught up in the excitement of the game. He even forgot to invite Jay. He had promised himself that he would make it up to Jay, but as the days went by, he found himself repeating the same pattern.
Jay had tried to reach out to him, to connect and talk about what was going on, but Heeseung had pushed him away, telling him that he was busy and that he would talk to him later. Later never came, and Jay started to feel like he was losing Heeseung.
Heeseung’s eyes snapped back to the present, and he watched as Jay and the other guy laughed and kissed. He felt a pang of jealousy, and he realized that he still had feelings for Jay.
But it was too late now. Jay had moved on, and Heeseung was left to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. He finished his drink and got up to leave, but as he turned to walk away, he caught Jay’s eye.
For a moment, they just stared at each other, the tension between them palpable. Heeseung felt like he was frozen in time, unable to move or look away. Then, Jay’s expression changed, and he turned back to the other guy, laughing like he hasn’t seen him, like he doesn’t even exist.
Heeseung felt like he had been punched in the gut. He turned and walked away, leaving the bar and the memories of Jay behind. He didn't know where he was going or what he was going to do, but he knew he had to get out of there.
As he walked, Heeseung’s mind wandered back to the past, to the memories of him and Jay. He remembered the first time they had met, the first time they had kissed, and the first time they had said “I love you” to each other.
Heeseung’s eyes started to well up with tears as he realized that he had lost the love of his life. He had taken Jay for granted, and now he was paying the price.
He walked for hours, trying to clear his head and process his emotions. Eventually, he found himself back at his apartment, sitting on the couch and staring blankly at the wall.
Heeseung didn’t know how to move on from Jay. He didn’t know how to let go of the memories and the feelings they had shared. All he knew was that he had lost the love of his life, and he didn't know how to get him back.
As the night wore on, Heeseung’s emotions started to overwhelm him. He felt like he was drowning in a sea of sadness and regret. He didn’t know how to keep his head above water, how to stay afloat in the midst of his heartbreak.
Just as Heeseung thought he couldn’t take it anymore, he heard a knock at the door. He got up to answer it, hoping it was someone who could take his mind off things. But when he opened the door, he was surprised to see no one there. Instead, there was a small package on the floor with his name on it.
Heeseung picked it up, wondering who could have sent it. As he opened the box, he found a small gray notebook with a strap in it. It was Jay's notebook, the one he always carried with him.
Heeseung’s heart skipped a beat as he opened the notebook and started flipping through the pages. The notebook was filled with sketches and doodles, but there were also notes and messages scattered throughout.
As Heeseung read through the notebook, he realized that Jay had been writing about their relationship. He had written about the good times and the bad, about the moments that had brought them closer together and the moments that had driven them apart.
Heeseung felt a lump form in his throat as he read Jay’s words. He realized that Jay had been trying to tell him something, to communicate with him in a way that he couldn’t ignore. But Heeseung had ignored him, and now it was too late. Jay’s done with him, and Heeseung was left to pick up the pieces of his broken heart.
1.
“Echoes of laughter, whispers of pain
Memories of you, forever in vain
Your smile, my sunshine, now but a fade
Our love, a flame, that burned, then decayed”
2.
“First love, first heartbreak, a bittersweet past
Forever etched, in memories that last”
3.
“Your words, they cut deep.”
4.
I thought our love was forever…
5.
“The way you hold my hand so warm and so tight,
But the pain you caused continues through the night.
It lingers in shadows, a ghost in my mind,
A reminder of love that was left behind.
Your touch, a flame that once burned so bright,
Now a smoldering ember, a fading light.
I’m left to pick up the pieces of my heart,
And wonder where we fell apart.”
As he finished reading the notebook, Heeseung felt a sense of sadness wash over him. He realized that he had lost something special, something that he would never get back. Heeseung closed the notebook and sat down on the couch, feeling empty and alone. He didn’t know how to move on from Jay, how to let go of the memories and the feelings they had shared.
As the night wore on, Heeseung sat in the darkness, surrounded by the silence of his apartment. He felt like he was drowning in a sea of sadness, unable to find a lifeline to cling to.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈
The dim light of the setting sun cast a warm glow over the small, cozy room. Jay and Heeseung lay on the bed, their bodies entwined as they shared a tender kiss. The air was thick with anticipation, and Jay’s hands trembled with excitement as he gently caressed Heeseung’s skin.
As they deepened their kiss, Jay’s hands wandered, exploring every inch of Heeseung’s body. Heeseung’s eyes fluttered closed, his breathing quickening as Jay’s touch sent shivers down his spine.
Jay whispered sweet nothings in Heeseung’s ear, his voice barely audible over the sound of their own ragged breathing. “I love you, Heeseung. You’re so beautiful, so perfect. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy.”
Heeseung’s eyes snapped open, and he gazed up at Jay, his expression hesitant. He didn’t say a word, but his eyes spoke volumes. Jay’s heart skipped a beat as he searched Heeseung’s face for a sign, any sign, that he felt the same way.
But Heeseung remained silent, his eyes locked on Jay’s as if searching for something. Jay’s hands stilled, and he held his breath, waiting for Heeseung to say something, anything. His heart ache, and he doesn’t know why.
The silence stretched out between them, thick and heavy with tension. Jay’s heart began to sink, wondering if he had misread the situation entirely.
But then, in a barely audible whisper, Heeseung spoke. “I...I love you too, Jay.”
Jay’s heart soared, and he let out a shaky breath. He smiled, his eyes shining with happiness, and leaned in to capture Heeseung’s lips in a tender kiss.
As they kissed, Jay’s hands resumed their gentle exploration of Heeseung’s body. Heeseung’s hesitation melted away, replaced by a sense of wonder and excitement.
Together, they surrendered to their desires, their love for each other burning bright and true. In that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of them, lost in their own little world of love and passion.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈
The air was thick with tension as Jay and Heeseung stood facing each other in the small, cramped room. The dim light of the evening sun cast long shadows across the floor, but it did little to ease the palpable strain between them.
“I don’t understand why you’re being so stubborn about this, Heeseung,” Jay said, his voice low and even, but with a hint of hurt beneath the surface.
Heeseung’s jaw clenched, his eyes flashing with a mixture of defensiveness and frustration. “I’m just being practical, Jay. You know how it is. If people find out about us, it could ruin my basketball career. And what about your art? You’re just starting to make a name for yourself. Do you really want to risk everything for the sake of being open about our relationship? You know how people would react about us…” he said with a resigned sigh.
Jay’s eyes narrowed, his face twisted in a mixture of pain and anger. “So, you’re saying that our relationship isn’t worth the risk? That we’re not worth fighting for?” Jays voice break as he tries not to crumble. His chest aching, and his body almost giving up due to exhaustion.
Heeseung’s expression softened, and he took a step forward, his hands reaching out to Jay. “That’s not what I’m saying, Jay. I just...I don’t want to lose everything we’ve worked for. Can’t we just keep this between us, for now?”
Jay’s face hardened, and he shook his head, his voice cold and detached. “No, Heeseung. I won’t be your secret. I deserve better than to be hidden away like I’m something to be ashamed of.”
Heeseung’s eyes dropped, and he looked away, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “I’m sorry, Jay. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
The silence that followed was oppressive, the tension between them almost palpable. Jay’s eyes never left Heeseung’s face, his expression a mask of pain and disappointment.
Finally, Jay spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “I need some space, Heeseung. I need to think about whether this relationship is worth fighting for.”
Heeseung’s head snapped up, his eyes wide with fear. “Jay, don’t say that. I’ll do anything to make this work. Just please, don’t leave me.”
But Jay just shook his head and turned away, his back to Heeseung as he walked out of the room, leaving Heeseung alone with his thoughts.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈
Jay’s hands trembled as he grasped Heeseung’s arms, his eyes pleading for him to listen. “Please, Heeseung, stop this. Stop meeting up with those girls you meet at bars. It’s killing me, Heeseung. It’s tearing me apart.” he sobbed while begging Heeseung, his knees almost giving out.
Heeseung’s expression was impassive, his eyes avoiding Jay’s as he stood frozen, his arms limp in Jay’s grasp.
Jay’s voice cracked as he begged, “Heeseung, I love you. I love you so much, and I thought you loved me too. But every time you go out and hook up with someone else, it feels like you’re ripping my heart out. Please, Heeseung, stop. Just stop.”
Heeseung’s silence was deafening, and Jay’s eyes searched his face desperately for any sign of remorse or guilt. But there was nothing. Heeseung’s expression remained blank, his eyes empty.
Jay’s grip on Heeseung’s arms tightened, his fingers digging deep into his skin. “Heeseung, say something. Say anything. Tell me you’re sorry, tell me you’ll stop, tell me you love me. Just say something.”
But Heeseung remained silent. Jay’s face contorted in anguish, and he felt a sob rising up in his throat. He tried to hold it back, but it was too late. The sob burst forth, and Jay’s body shook with racking sobs.
Heeseung’s eyes flickered, and for a moment, Jay thought he saw a glimmer of emotion. But it was quickly extinguished, and Heeseung’s expression returned to its usual impassive mask.
Jay’s sobs grew louder, more intense, as he felt his heart shattering into a million pieces. Heeseung’s silence was a rejection, a refusal to acknowledge Jay’s pain and his love.
As Jay cried, Heeseung stood frozen, his eyes fixed on some point beyond Jay’s shoulder, his expression unyielding. The silence between them grew, a chasm that seemed impossible to bridge.
Finally, Jay’s sobs subsided, leaving him exhausted and drained. He released his grip on Heeseung’s arms, his eyes red and puffy from crying.
Heeseung’s expression didn’t change, but Jay saw something in his eyes, something that looked like guilt or regret. But it was too late. The damage was done.
Jay turned and walked away, leaving Heeseung standing alone in the silence.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈
Jay sat in the crowded bleachers, his eyes fixed on the basketball court below. Heeseung’s team was playing, and Jay couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride as he watched Heeseung move effortlessly across the court.
Despite their argument a week ago, Jay couldn’t bring himself to stay away. He still loved Heeseung, and he wanted to support him, even if it meant hiding in the shadows.
Jay wore a baseball cap and sunglasses, trying to blend in with the rest of the crowd. He didn’t want Heeseung to know he was there, not yet. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to face Heeseung again, to confront the pain and hurt that still lingered.
As the game intensified, Jay found himself cheering along with the rest of the crowd. Heeseung’s team was winning, and Jay couldn’t help but feel a sense of joy and pride.
But as the final buzzer sounded, and Heeseung’s team celebrated their victory, Jay’s emotions began to swirl. He was happy for Heeseung, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of hurt and betrayal that still lingered.
Jay watched as Heeseung hugged his teammates, his smile bright and carefree. Jay’s heart ached, wishing he could be the one to hug Heeseung, to congratulate him on his win.
As the crowd began to disperse, Jay stood up, his eyes fixed on Heeseung. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know if he should approach Heeseung or just leave.
But as he watched Heeseung walk off the court, his eyes scanning the crowd as if searching for someone, Jay felt a spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe, Heeseung was looking for him.
Jay’s heart skipped a beat as he hesitated, wondering what to do next. Should he take a chance, approach Heeseung and see if they could work things out? Or should he just leave, protect himself from getting hurt again?
As Jay stood there, frozen in indecision, Heeseung’s eyes scanned the crowd, his gaze passing over Jay without recognition. Jay’s heart sank, and he felt a pang of disappointment.
Maybe he was just a fool, holding onto hope when there was none. Maybe it was time to let go, to move on from Heeseung and find someone who truly loved and appreciated him.
As Jay turned to leave, he felt a sense of sadness wash over him. He didn’t know what the future held, but he knew one thing - he couldn’t keep loving Heeseung from afar. It was time to take care of himself, to find happiness and love that was real and true.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈
Jay walked across the university campus, lost in thought as he navigated through the crowds of students. It had been three months since he and Heeseung had parted ways, and Jay was still trying to pick up the pieces of his broken heart.
As he turned a corner, he collided with a tall, broad-shouldered guy who was walking in the opposite direction. Apologetic, Jay looked up to meet the guy’s eyes, and his heart skipped a beat.
The guy was stunningly handsome, with piercing brown eyes and soft features. His dark hair was messy and wet, and Jay couldn’t help but notice the way his white teeth gleamed as he smiled, he kinda resembled a wet puppy.
“Hey, sorry about that,” the guy said, holding out a hand to steady Jay. “I’m Jake. Jaeyun, but everyone calls me Jake.”
Jay took Jake’s hand, feeling a spark of electricity as their palms touched. “I’m Jay,” he replied, his voice a little shaky.
Jake’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled, and Jay felt his heart flutter. “Nice to meet you, Jay,” Jake said, his voice low and smooth. “You’re an art student, right? I’ve seen you around campus a lot of times actually.”
Jay nodded, feeling a little self-conscious. “Yeah, that’s me." Jake’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for weeks, but you always seem to be lost in thought.”
Jay’s cheeks flushed, and he looked away, feeling a little embarrassed. “Sorry about that. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.”
Jake’s expression softened, and he reached out to gently touch Jay's arm. “I know what you’ve been through, Jay. I’ve heard rumors about you and Heeseung. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Jay’s eyes snapped back to Jake’s, surprised that he knew about his past relationship. ‘Words really go around fast huh’, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, he felt a sense of gratitude towards Jake. It was clear that Jake genuinely cared, and Jay found himself drawn to Jake’s kind and compassionate nature.
As they stood there, Jake’s eyes locked on Jay’s, and Jay felt a sense of connection that he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was as if Jake could see right through to his soul, and Jay felt a sense of comfort and security in Jake’s presence.
“Would you like to grab a coffee with me, Jay?” Jake asked, his voice low and inviting. “I’d love to get to know you better.”
Jay’s heart skipped a beat as he hesitated, unsure of what to do. But as he looked into Jake’s eyes, he felt a sense of hope that he hadn’t felt in months.
Maybe, just maybe, Jay was ready to open his heart again. And maybe, just maybe, Jake was the one to help him heal.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈
Jake’s hands moved gently over Jay’s skin, soothing and calming him. Jay felt his tension melt away as Jake’s fingers traced the contours of his face. As they kissed, Jay felt a sense of surrender wash over him. He had been hurt before, but there was something about Jake that made him feel safe.
Jake’s lips were soft and gentle, and Jay felt himself getting lost in the kiss. He couldn’t believe how much he wanted Jake, how much he needed him.
As they moved together, Jay felt a sense of connection that he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was as if they were two pieces of a puzzle, finally fitting together.
Jake’s touch was gentle, but firm. He knew exactly what he wanted, and he wasn’t afraid to take it. Jay felt a shiver run down his spine as Jake’s hands moved over his body.
“I want you,” Jake whispered, his breath hot against Jay’s ear.
Jay felt a surge of desire, and he knew that he wanted Jake just as much. He nodded, his heart racing with anticipation.
As they moved together, Jay felt a sense of freedom that he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He was finally able to let go, to surrender to his desires and feelings.
Jake’s love was overwhelming, but Jay knew that he was ready for it. He was ready to surrender, to give himself over to Jake completely.
As they lay together, wrapped in each other’s arms, Jay felt a sense of peace wash over him. He knew that he had found something special, something that he would never let go of.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈
I sat across from Heeseung, the dim lighting of the coffee shop casting a somber mood over our reunion. It had been months since we’d last spoken, and the weight of our unresolved past hung heavy in the air.
“Heeseung, I…” I started, my voice barely above a whisper.
Heeseung’s eyes, once bright and full of life, now seemed dull and haunted. “Jay, I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “I’m so sorry for what I did to you. I was so lost and stupid, and I didn’t know how to handle my feelings.”
I felt a pang in my chest as I looked at him. He seemed genuinely remorseful, but the pain he had caused me still lingered.
“You hurt me, Heeseung,” I said, my voice steady. “You broke my trust and my heart. I thought we had something real, something special, something unbreakable.” I whispered.
Heeseung’s eyes dropped, and he nodded slowly. “I know,” he whispered. “I was blind to my own feelings, and I didn’t realize how much I was hurting you until it was too late.” The silence that followed was oppressive, heavy with the weight of our unresolved emotions.
“I’ve moved on, Heeseung,” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper but steady. “I’ve found someone who loves me for who I am, someone who makes me happy and would not keep me a secret. Who thinks I deserved every good thing in life” I said, trying not to smile while thinking about Jake.
Heeseung’s eyes flashed with a mixture of sadness and regret. “I’m glad,” he said, his voice strained. “You deserve to be happy, Jay.”
But as we sat there, surrounded by the quiet of the coffee shop, I knew that Heeseung was still hurting. He was still grappling with the consequences of his actions, still trying to come to terms with the pain he had caused.
“I forgive you, Heeseung,” I said, my voice soft. I put my hands on top of his trying to show my genuine concern. “But I need you to know that I’m happy now. I’m happy with Jake, and I’m not looking back.”
Heeseung nodded slowly, a small, sad smile on his face. “I’m glad,” he repeated. “You deserve it, Jay. I hope you two the best, really.”
As we parted ways, I felt a sense of closure, but also a deep sadness. Heeseung was still hurting, still struggling to come to terms with his past. And as I walked away from him, I knew that I would always carry a piece of him with me, a reminder of the love we had shared, and the pain we had endured.