Work Text:
Broken
„You want control, Sebastian, and that without any pain for Anne. Obviously, that has not worked thus far, so tell me,” Ominis’ pause was grave, “how much longer will you let yourself and the ones around you suffer? And how long will you reign once you reach your goal?”
Sebastian stood there, unable to move or to speak. He had purposefully not told anyone about his departure to the catacomb, and he had especially wanted to prevent Ominis from learning about it. Sebastian feared that he would try to stop him, he knew Ominis wouldn’t like if he actually made use of the relic, he knew it was dangerous, but the sweet whispers of the ancient artifact were so enticing, and its alluring promises were irresistible. He had to, he just had to! This thing in his hands was the first thing that finally showed some sort of actual possibility to help break Anne’s curse; all of his hard work, all of his endeavors, the countless hours of detention, all the dire things he did – no, that he had to do – all of those things eventually lead to this, he was so close to finally breaking the curse, so damn close, and he wouldn’t let this be ruined by Ominis.
“Expelliarmus!” Sebastian shouted and watched the faint red glow of Ominis’ wand disappear as it was launched from the hand of its wielder. “Don’t come any closer, Ominis,” Sebastian warned, relic grabbed tightly in his hands and wand pointed at Ominis, ready to cast any curse that was necessary.
He had just been about to cast the one spell that would finally let him use the relic’s power – if only Ominis hadn’t stormed into the catacombs. Merlin knew whether he alerted Anne -or worse – Solomon. “Can’t you see it? This is the solution, it is so evident, right here in my hands,” he said frantically. Ominis had to realize this, he just had to, it couldn’t be possible that the boy didn’t understand this. Right?
“Do you even hear yourself speak, Sebastian?” Ominis said, his voice becoming more and more frustrated, “you are corrupted by this relic and the dark magic that surrounds it, can’t you see that?! You are like a child, Sebastian, you are so naïve and oblivious to the damage you could do! You dream of a future without Anne’s curse and believe me when I say that I get that, I dream of that future too! A future where she is healthy and alive, a future for us! But the more you descent into the dark arts the further you push such a future away; can’t you see that?!”
Sebastian laughed, and by the looks on Ominis’ face, it was a gruesome sound. “You don’t understand anything, Ominis. You always feel so smart, so morally superior to me and everyone else, but you don’t understand the potential that is at my disposal right now. How dare you let Anne suffer like that? How dare you trying to heal her from that curse?!”
Ominis’ expression changed between anger, betrayal and hurt, “You are so blind, Sebastian,” he said and his tone was icy, “I would be the first to help you heal her! In fact, I was the first to help you when Solomon gave up! It was me who took you to the scriptorium, it was me who took the Cruciatus curse for us to get out of that misery, it was me who read countless books about the dark curses with you in order to just find anything that could help! I was the one who was there for you when your world fell apart!” Ominis claimed, his voice had increased from a hiss to a yell, “And now you are standing there, having the audacity, the nerve to claim that I want to let her suffer?! Are you out of your damn forsaken mind?! Have the dark arts corrupted your brain this much already?!”
Sebastian was stunned. Never before had he witnessed Ominis explode like that, never before had he witnessed such bare anger on his face. For once, he was taken aback and frightened. The relic’s whispers died down slowly, as if a haze in his mind slowly began to clear up.
Ominis exhaled, “Sebastian, the friend that I knew, the very best friend I feel in love with is nowhere to be found right now. This is not you! You can’t fight fire with fire, Sebastian!” Ominis voice now sounded desperate and pleading.
“I-“ Sebastian breathed. No, he thought, this has to be it, this has to be the solution, he had searched for this so long, this was the only trail that was left, the only possible way. Ominis had to be wrong – there was nothing he could do if Ominis was in fact not wrong.
“Do you think I enjoy witnessing your decay? There are already two unforgivable curses on your wand, there already is blood on your hands! How much longer until you cast the third?” he asked quietly.
The question startled Sebastian, he didn’t want to kill, all he ever wanted was to protect and to heal; he never wanted to cause any harm.
His mouth stood lightly agape, his breathing became heavy and forced.
“I don’t want to witness you become a dark wizard, Sebastian, and believe me, I have witnessed enough wizards and witches succumb to the dark arts,” Ominis said. His voice had become softer, pain and hurt had taken over his expression as he moved just a few steps further towards Sebastian.
Sebastian moved back instinctively, his hand tightly grasping the relic protectively.
“You know,” Ominis began, hands raised slightly, a silent sign that he meant no harm, but to Sebastian it just seemed like deceit, “when I first came to Hogwarts, no friends, no acquaintances, there was a place that I would always go to,”
The undercroft, Sebastian thought. He didn’t want to listen to Ominis speak, he wanted him to leave him alone, forever if that was necessary, yet still he listened. The relic’s sweet whispers were overshadowed by Ominis’ soft soothing voice.
“Once I got to know you, it was only you who could reach me, only you were allowed in there. I have the fondest memories of those times, it was where we practiced our first spells together, where we did our homework, where we got distracted,” he paused, “it was where we shared our first kiss, don’t you remember that?”
Of course, Sebastian remembered that. It was one of the happiest moments in his life, one that brought him joy whenever he thought about it, even in the darkest nights, and the one that he used in Defense against the Dark Arts when he casted his first Patronus.
“But now?” Ominis continued, not allowing Sebastian to speak, “how am I supposed to find you now that you are so far away from me? From Anne? From Reality?” Ominis said, and Sebastian could see a few tears falling from Ominis’ eyes.
“You are destroying yourself, Sebastian, and you are destroying every tie that you have, the one to your friends, the one to Anne, the one to me,” he said. His voice was fragile and shaky. These were his true thoughts and feelings that he voiced, and Sebastian realized that.
Still, he couldn’t allow this, the relic didn’t allow it! He couldn’t be wrong here, he had to be right! Because if he was wrong, there would be nothing left to do, nothing left to try, no other trail to follow. Every bit of research had led him to this, so many different sources had led him to this relic, and this destination – it just had to be right.
“You are going down a path none of us can follow you, Sebastian. You are destroying yourself,” Ominis begged, “please, I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you! You are my best friend, Sebastian, and so much more than just that. Please, I beg you, don’t go through with this!”
“I-“ Sebastian stammered – the relic’s voice was screaming in his head; screaming at him to silence that heretic in front of him – shouting at him to make his voice die down – ordering him to kill the boy in front of him.
It felt as if a fulfilling pleasure and satisfaction was seeping through him with every word the relic screamed into his mind, a burning anticipation that was awaiting just one small curse, just two little words and Sebastian would be able to go through with his plan. The cure for his sister, all he ever wanted, was within reach, it was so easy, really. The goal, his ultimate goal was just two small words, a mere few syllables and a wave of his wand away.
“It speaks to you, doesn’t it?” Ominis broke the relic’s screams in Sebastian’s head. “The dark arts, they taunt you, they tease you. They promise you so much, they make everything seem so easy,” his voice darkened, “I have experienced this myself; it is tormenting, you feel like you just have to listen and obey, right?”
“This-“ Sebastian tried to speak. The noises in his head, the screams of the relic and the soothing sound of Ominis soft voice were fighting, and it was brutal. A bloody war was fought in his mind, and it caused a nauseating headache. “This is the solution, it has to be, it is the only way!” Sebastian said, his gaze jumping back and forth between the beauty that was the relic in his hand and the bitter reality that was Ominis. The relic felt warm in his hand, its shouts and cackling screams still so alluring. Everything the relic said made so much sense, it was so good.
“It isn’t! Please, you have to realize that this thing in your hands will only drive you further into madness! It is not as easy as the relic’s voice makes it seem, I beg you, Sebastian, believe me!” Ominis was practically begging, Sebastian’s wand still aimed at him with precision – not that Ominis would know, but Sebastian had a feeling that the other could sense it.
Yes, the artifact’s tantalizing allurements were so warm, so promising, so good.
Too good.
“You don’t have to do this, Seb,” Ominis spoke now, quietly and broken, almost as if he was out of verbal ammunition. His hands were raised slightly in silent surrender, a desperate last attempt to somehow reach the boy he loved that was buried somewhere deep inside of what Sebastian had become.
The relic’s promises felt too good.
“I know it’s hard, believe me, I have been there, but you can break free from this,” he choked.
The relic’s promises felt too good to be true.
“I love you, Sebastian, and I cannot lose you. Please, don’t go through with this, I know your true self is still somewhere inside of you, I know you can hear me,” he pleaded. The tears that Sebastian could see on Ominis face caused a raging pain to erupt in his stomach. The relic’s voice screeched and screamed in his mind as it was engulfed and suffocated by Ominis’ words.
“I’m scared, Ominis,” he choked, eyes wide open as he stared at the relic in his hand. His breathing hitched and he felt like he was on the verge of passing out. Realization slowly creeped into his mind, desperately fought by the relic’s dark presence.
“This is the only path that’s left, if this is wrong there is nothing left for me to do to cure Anne.”
“We will find something, Sebastian,” Ominis spoke, a glimmer of hope blossoming in his tone, “I promise, we found this way, and we will find another one. One that actually is right, because this is not. Whatever you will do with this cursed artifact, you will regret it, please believe me, please trust me for once like I have trusted you countless times!” his voice was still no less desperate.
“I-“ Sebastian breathed, eyes now totally fixed on the red glow in his hands, “I want to, but I can’t.”
“I know it hurts immensely to break free of the dark arts, I know it feels insurmountable, and I know you see no perspective or future right now, but believe me, if you’re falling, I will catch you, you won’t have to fall that far,” Ominis said with such sincerity and honesty. His gleaming words conquered Sebastian’s mind; they were the sunlight that chased the dark clouds away bit by bit.
“You can make it, I know that,” Ominis repeated, “I will be there, Seb, I promise. You were broken from the start of all of this, but I still love you, and I’ll still be there for you.” His words now finally seemed to drown the last screams of the relic’s power in Sebastian’s mind. The darkness fought back, it fought back harshly, and Sebastian stood in crossfire on the battlefield that were his thoughts.
Now it was up to him. A choice had to be made, and the final, lethal stab had to be delivered.
Sebastian forced his gaze to drift away from the teasing red glow in his hand to the eyes of his boyfriend. The eyes he always loved so much were filled with watery desperation and agony, the face he admired so much was deformed in pain and dire anticipation.
It was only then that Sebastian actually and truly realized that his wand was still aimed at his partner. A potentially deadly threat to the man he loved so dearly; the man who had been there for him no matter how bad things had gotten, no matter how much Sebastian had ducked things up. And he was still there, trying to pull him out of the sinkhole Sebastian had voluntarily jumped into.
His eyes widened in horror at the realization of what he had become, his breathing stopped immediately as he realized what he had almost done, what kind of magic the relic had requested from him, what kind of curse the relic had wanted him to cast on his partner, one of the people most important to him.
How could he have been so blind? How could he have allowed himself to be tainted and corrupted so easily?
Anger erupted inside him, though this time, it was directed at no one but himself. The hatred he felt for himself was strong, but the hatred he felt for the that cursed thing in his hand was so much stronger.
His grasp around the tetrahedron tightened so much that its corners buried themselves into his palm, piercing the sensitive skin of his hand. Sebastian didn’t feel it, he felt no pain aside from the one caused by his own previous actions.
A choice was made.
With all the strength and force he had, he hurled the relic against the wall to his left. It crumbled to dust upon the impact, and the crashing sound startled Ominis.
As soon as the relic hit the wall, Sebastian felt as if all life and hope was drained out of him; finally, his wand clattered to the ground as he fell onto his knees, the emptiness inside him completely engulfing him.
Ominis’ embrace that he could feel around him within seconds felt like a small ray in the thunderstorm on the treacherous ocean that his mind had become; a dimly shining lighthouse he hoped would guide him back to the shore. The boy said something, it was muffled, and Sebastian couldn’t understand it, but it didn’t matter. Ominis’ voice was all that was needed to soothe his soul.
Sebastian realized that Ominis’ had been right.
Yes, he was broken from the very start, but just as Ominis had promised, he didn’t have to fall that far, Ominis had caught him.
He had made it, and just as Ominis had promised, he was there for him.
Right here, and right now.
That was all that mattered.