Chapter Text
Izuku was having a bad day. He knew it was going to be a bad day from the moment he woke up, everything was off, the sun was too bright, his alarm was too loud, and the sounds of his friends talking made him want to hide in his blankets and cry if it meant he didn't have to talk to anyone.
Despite this he still got up, even if his legs were still sore from working out all the day before, because he had to be the best, had to prove he was worth something and not just a Deku.
But that's not important right now he was getting ready for the day, he hated wearing ties he could never get them on right and when he made it look a little normal it felt like he couldn't breath and it felt like there were hands on his neck the fifth finger about to touch his skin and- no he wouldn't let that person get into his thoughts, he put his tie to the side deciding he'd let Iida lecture him if it meant one less thing to worry about today.*
He walked into the kitchen few people still lingering around finishing their breakfast, he didn't want to eat, the thought of having anything made him want to gag, but he was glad that it was less crowded than normal. He waved to Hagakure and mustered up his normal sunshine smile as he walked out the door waving away his friends concerns saying that he was going to eat in the classroom since he had some last minute studying to do. Walking into the classroom he let himself relax the smile falling quickly to a blank look one reminiscent of Todoroki's, as Izuku got to his desk he pulled out his note book number 14, 13 was to ruined to write in, it wasn't like he wanted to write in that note book anyway, every time he did it brought up thoughts of that day and...he didn't want to think about that anymore. Izuku glanced up in surprise when Aizawa walked in midnight standing behind him.
"Problem Child? You're here early." The man said in his monotone voice that Izuku always thought made him sound more tired than he was, but the green haired boy nodded in greeting and stuttered out a response.
"I j-just had to finish some homework." The boy said forcing a smile, the words felt wrong, Izuku couldn't help but reprimand himself for talking to a teacher so casually reminding himself what happens when Deku's like him step out of place, but Aizawa would never do something like that, at least that's what Izuku forced himself to believe since whenever he thought badly about the man, he was reminded of when that same teacher risked his life to save all of them.
"Midorya... Hey kid are you with me?" His teacher called out now standing right in front of his desk with a hint of worry on his normally stoic face. Why would Aizawa be worried about Izuku? He was just being annoying and zoning out again.
"Ah- y-yes sensei...s-sorry what did you say?" The boy asked sheepishly, mentally he was yelling at himself for ignoring a teacher and getting caught zoning out.
"It's fine kid, I just wanted to make sure everything was alright... You seem a little off today is there something wrong?" The teacher asks with that same worried expression, Izuku had to remind himself that it was only because he was a teacher that he cared, and not to get too attached.
"No..um sorry for worrying you I just didn't get e-enough sleep" Izuku said with a sheepish smile rubbing the back of his neck in the way he always did when he was embarrassed, his mind helpfully reminding him that he should keep his hands free to block in case his teacher thought he wasn't being honest or that he needed to be put in his place. But his teacher would never do that, speaking of Aizawa, the man was looking at him with a curious look. His eyes traced over the boy like he was looking for something. After seeming to give up on whatever he was looking for he walked over to his podium leaning against the desk.
"Well you should try and get more sleep then, can't be a hero if your going to pass out." He says with a stern look ensuring the kid knew he was serious.
"Y-yes of course, sorry sensei I'll be sure to get more sleep." Izuku responds with a smile, he didn't call out the fact that the teacher himself never slept, he knew better than to call out a teacher.
Izuku looked back to the work he put on his desk, English, he didn't really have to study but it never hurts to do a little extra work. He was already fluent in the language from when he was a kid learning it so that he would be able to talk to his father if he ever called, he... never did. Back on track, Izuku forced himself to go back to safer topics, right Yamada his English teacher, that was a safer topic, Izuku liked the man he somehow always knew when Izuku was having a bad day and was quieter and left some sort of candy on Izuku's desk as he handed out papers.
So yeah Izuku was used to the man, he enjoyed English class with the hero on bad days like today, Izuku could really understand why he always heard people comparing Yamada to the sun. The way he could light up the room with his smile, and get people awake and energized even if it was a Monday morning and everyone would rather be home.
As Izuku ended his thoughts he realized people were here and in their desks, how long did he zone out for, he needed to stop doing this, but now his teacher was talking and he couldn't miss this.
"...So today will be a little different from most days, as you might have noticed today I have Midnight with me here to help introduce the topic-" The tired man says before getting cut off by a more smooth and calming voice.
"Yes we'll leave the explanation up to me. So students today you will be doing a project about your past and your growth." The woman says with a smile her voice was as calming as her quirk, Izuku mentally wondered if it was apart of her quirk, maybe some sort of mutation?
"And during this topic you will exercise your skills in symbolism, as a hero you will all be symbols for the world, hopefully this project will help you understand how you want to be viewed in your career." Aizawa said always the more logical one getting straight to the point. Right on time Iida's hand shoots up, never one to waste time Aizawa calls on him.
"Sensei! What exactly will we be doing in this project?" The boy practically yells his hands chopping in that iconic robotic way. With a tired sigh the teacher responds to the question.
"I was getting there Iida, but as I was saying this will be a solo project and everything must be written and based on English symbols to give you a challenge" he says putting on a projection of a slide with all the information of the project as Midnight continues where he left off.
"And for some extra fun we decided you would only be able to use plants for your project, this can include anything from a tree to a shred of grass but it must have some sort of meaning behind it " the woman says smiling as she points out the different parts of the slide with the information.
Izuku would blame it on the fact that he was having a bad day, the fact that he couldn't get the thoughts of his middle school roof out of his head. He would blame it on that fact that he didn't hesitate to write down his topic on the papers that were handed out with all the information on the project. He would blame it on that fact that he turned in his paper before everyone else with spider lilies written in the part asking about what he would focus on in his project. After all the papers were handed in the teacher looked over them writing down topics so people couldn't look up random projects online and cheat before handing back the papers.
"Ok now that that's done you all will have two days to complete your projects and turn them in, after you will present them to the class for the talking part of your grade, now this class will be a study hall, you can spend the rest of your time on your project" the man said slipping into his sleeping bag to take a nap.
Izuku stared down at his paper already knowing what he was going to write for his project, he didn't have to look anything up he already knows the meaning of the flower he chose, memories of burnt desks with writing covering every inch seemed to re surface, the taunts of people saying that he should just do it, to just jump and make everyone else's lives better. Thought and feeling that he buried making their way back to the surface as he remembered the notes that were left with the flowers saying that they might actually like him if he did it, if he just killed himself.
The flower was a bittersweet reminder that he should just die, those were the first flowers he'd ever received from anyone, the first time someone said they might like him, even if it was if he died. He always thought the spider Lily's were pretty he would put them in his books so he could keep them forever, a trick his mother taught him, after the fifth time of getting the flower he started liking them less.
Right snap out of it, he has to write his project, Izuku grabbed his pencil getting ready to write on a fresh piece of paper his hand hesitates over the paper taking a moment to gather his thoughts he slowly started writing, once he started he couldn't stop, the thoughts and memories only fulling his writing, he was spilling out his heart into this writing detailing every emotion the flowers brought him, he couldn't help himself from writing the unfiltered truth. If it was any other day maybe Izuku would have picked a different plant, maybe he would have picked something more happy, or one that represented growth, but that didn't happen because it was that day, Izuku chose the more dark option and once the bell rang signaling the end of class, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, that maybe, just maybe today would be alright.