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Warm fingers threaded through black hair, adjusting a light pressure on her head. The haze took a few seconds to lift. Then, like waking from a dim dream, Enjel blinked her eyes open and was met with beautiful cherry red. A familiar color, framed by strands of soft pink… Wait, pink?
Enjel jolted backwards, wincing when her wing bumped against the back of a chair. Those achingly familiar red eyes gazed upon her with kindness and something like contempt, yet they seemed… hollow. Wrong, paired with a beatific smile that instilled a sense of bliss.
That bliss quickly collapsed under a sudden torrent of memory. In a heartbeat, Enjel was on her feet, her scythe in her hands as the blade pressed against the neck of the figure in white and red—Platinum.
“Stay away from me!”
Platinum didn’t flinch, nor did her expression waver. “You’re lively today.”
The razor edge of the blade had cut through Platinum’s collar, blood seeping into the white fabric from the shallow wound. No reaction. Enjel wanted to move, to decapitate the twisted deity that stood before her, but in the depths of Platinum’s eyes, she couldn’t find any trace of the girl she’d met before. They were like a vast open sky, if the sky were slowly descending upon her like a blanket that aimed to suffocate her.
“Do what you came for.” Platinum’s smile remained. Her voice softened and she slowly pushed the blade of the scythe down with her index finger; though this cut ran decidedly deeper along the finger, she didn’t react. “There is no need to fear, I will not let you be lost.”
Enjel took a step back, then another to maintain some amount of distance between them. “I said stay back!”
Just as Platinum stepped into her space again, her heel bumped into the leg of a chair. Platinum’s eyes had never left hers, and she felt a warm numbness begin to prickle at her hands. Every passing moment she struggled to maintain her grip on her weapon.
“I see the darkness within you, the hurt that drives you… It’s alright, I keep no record of the wrongs you commit. You are safe in my light.”
Her mind felt light and airy. Enjel didn’t notice when her hands went limp, only the clatter of her scythe against the white floor before it vanished.
Platinum giggled. “I can give you what you seek…”
With her uninjured hand, Platinum reached out to run her fingers through Enjel’s feathers, unafraid of staining her skin when she found the wound in her wing, fingertips lingering on the edges of it. Enjel winced. A small whine escaped her lips, too abrupt for her to bite her tongue. Something, hopefully the pain she wasn’t used to, brought her to her knees.
“Even though I love all of you, I must not have shown it well enough.” Platinum offered her bleeding hand, blood trickling down into her palm. “Wasn’t this what you sought? Take it.”
Words felt clumsy on her tongue, but Enjel tried to speak regardless. “W-what?”
“I forgive you, for you do not know what you are doing. I told you I would protect you, didn’t I? You will be safe here with us… Safe from him, and from any other that may seek to harm you. You shall not wander astray. After all… you are a part of me.”
Enjel could barely hear the words, as if muffled, yet clear in her mind. She stared at the offered hand, the insistent dark crimson clinging to the porcelain finger she’d wounded. Platinum’s eyes held no accusation, only a quiet, unnerving patience. Enjel’s throat tightened. This… this offering. This impossible grace. A forgiveness she didn’t deserve, offered without a flicker of judgment. Suddenly, everything felt heavy. She felt the weight of her own sin, the sting of her failed attack, the useless throb of her injured wing. Something in her wanted to scream, to summon her scythe again and ram the tip through the obvious enemy’s chest. She wasn’t sure which train of thought was hers.
She reached out, her own hand trembling slightly, and took Platinum’s. Enjel hesitated. Then, with a sickening mix of revulsion and desperate longing, she pressed her lips to the wound. The taste of iron and something else—something subtly sweet—flooded her senses. She closed her eyes. Was this desecration, or devotion? Of whom? As she worked, a warmth spread through her, not exactly physical, but a deep, unsettling thing that settled in her bones. Her face in particular felt all too warm. Shame, humiliation, regret, fury, impotence. She doubted she had the words to name everything in the bundle of knots that was gradually forming within her.
The blood was gone. Enjel lingered, her tongue tracing the faint line of the cut. She drew back and opened her eyes, her gaze fixed on the now-unblemished finger. The skin was whole, unmarked. Of course it was. She didn’t know where the doubt had come from.
Platinum giggled, and Enjel snatched her hand back as if burnt. “I’m glad. It was a shame to see those beautiful feathers tainted.”
Her eyes drifted to her wing. No blood. She flexed it, a movement she hadn’t dared to make before. It unfolded without protest or discomfort of any sort. Pristine as the skin of the divine.
“Rise,” said Platinum. She willed her to stand and smiled imperceptibly wider when she saw Enjel’s body follow. Exactly as she was meant to. “See? It’s okay, that fiend has no place here. He cannot harm you anymore.”
Almost. Enjel had almost fallen for it. Maybe she would’ve, had she not looked over Platinum’s shoulder to see the other three girls sitting motionless in their own chairs. She could hardly tell, distracted by the wrath clawing against gratitude, awe, love in her chest, but Platinum’s words were akin to tendrils burrowing in through her ears, seeking control. Or… possibly planting those warring feelings within her in the first place. Seeing the remaining blood from the cut on Platinum’s neck made her stomach twist in guilt. She wanted to throw herself on the ground and plead for forgiveness. What a heretic she was, to harm the Shining One.
Platinum filled the silence. She filled everything. “All is well, I promise you that. You can rest now, my angel.”
“Please,” Enjel heard herself beg, as if out of breath. “Please, I’ll do anything-”
She bit down on her tongue as hard as possible. Her words were not her own, and she refused to allow them out of her mouth any longer. She could taste her blood mixing with Platinum’s on her tongue now, the subtle sweetness from before turning into an overwhelming tang that made her grit her teeth, but at least it didn’t hurt past the initial sting.
And Platinum exposed her neck further. The blood was still fresh. “Is this what you want?”
Enjel tried to grab her by the throat. Her hands stayed at her sides, twitching. She couldn’t even clench her fists. Instead, she felt a pull, drawn by some foreign allure. Curses writhed between her ribs as she unwillingly stepped into Platinum’s welcoming embrace.
Platinum giggled once more. Her hand on Enjel’s waist pulled her closer so she could better access the stained skin. Enjel felt her hands clinging to Platinum’s dress, gently as to not bother her, and she hated how desperate her breath on Platinum’s neck sounded. Each time her tongue dragged on the other’s skin, she felt more like some pathetic animal. She wasn’t sure if she’d wanted to do that anymore.
Enjel wanted nothing more than to rip Platinum’s ribcage open and crush her heart in her hands. Her pulse hammered against the inside of her skull, a frantic drumbeat to accompany the tremor that resonated through her senses. Her skin prickled, a thousand tiny needles of cold fire, and the taste of bitter bile coated the back of her throat. Enough was enough. She lunged, no better than a snarling beast in her desperation. She threw herself forward with all of her might and they crashed to the white floor of that terrible void. Her teeth tore into the soft flesh of Platinum’s neck. There was no time to think. The snap of cartilage mingled with the wet gurgle of blood. She bit down savagely, harder than she thought possible. The sweet taste she’d grown to know, thick and cloying, filled her mouth. Crimson gushed from Platinum’s neck, staining her white dress and Enjel’s face alike.
And yet. Platinum’s serene smile broadened, little more than a subtle curve. Then, those same tendrils from before plunged deeper into Enjel’s mind, worming into every corner, not writhing but flowing. The attempt to tighten her jaws and continue to tear fell on dead nerves. Her muscles went slack, simultaneously firm as steel. The violent, desperate sobs that threatened to erupt were choked back into a silent, agonizing tremor. She couldn’t move.
Platinum’s hand, impossibly tender, cradled Enjel’s head, her fingers brushing through her hair. She held her close, frozen. For some reason, before the wound fully closed, Enjel licked her lips, that awful sweetness beginning to numb her senses. In response, Platinum willed her to dip her head so she could lap at the blood.
“Shh… I will take care of everything… Partake in your absolution.”
Enjel could barely conceive the concept of moving. Platinum’s embrace felt… cozy. Even as she rested her head on her shoulder once she was done, Platinum’s taste clung to her tongue—a loathsome communion. How could she ever find the energy?
By looking at the peaceful expression on Platinum’s face, apparently. Seeing that incited a burst of rage just enough to throw her hands around the other’s throat. To no avail. Her hands refused to close around it. Just before she could turn to splitting her own lip with her teeth in an attempt to distract Platinum, a sharp pain in her mind shredded her focus. High-pitched ringing echoed in her ear like a phantom scream. The unidentified pain sharpened further, Enjel whimpered, and next she knew, she had her head on Platinum’s chest instead, cradled once more.
“You’ve soiled your flowers a little…” Platinum commented, removing the remains of the flower crown from Enjel’s head. “No matter, I’ll replace them in a moment. You are a troubled one, are you not?”
There was no judgment in her tone. That was worse than the meanest mockery. Platinum’s other hand, previously on her waist, moved to stroke her feathers. Soothingly. It was so difficult to stay awake. Enjel couldn’t allow herself to lose. Every wave of comfortable drowsiness threatened to drown her, consistent, unwavering. Blinking felt like delaying the inevitable.
Losing was inevitable.
Platinum was inevitable.
… Enjel closed her eyes.
Platinum giggled, guiding Enjel to her gilded seat by the hand. She’d cleaned them and replaced the flower crown she liked to give all of her girls in an instant.
“Sit.”
The quiet Enjel complied. Normally, Platinum would’ve simply returned to her throne after this, but she stayed behind a moment, observing. Enjel’s injured hand twitched.
“It seems…” Platinum cupped Enjel’s cheek. “Our newest friend has a wilder spirit than the rest. It can be so tricky to keep tame… I suppose that’s what I’m here for.” She noticed a single tear on the edge of one of Enjel’s pretty golden eyes and gently rubbed her thumb over it to wipe it away. “Come now, we can’t have that, can we?”
After a few moments without an answer, Platinum retreated her hand. She stood there for a minute. She’d forgotten to do one thing; it only seemed appropriate.
Platinum’s hand rose. The single finger Enjel had injured before traced the sign of the cross on her forehead, then down her chest, the touch a brand, a claim. Her other hand gently cupped Enjel’s chin, tilting her face upwards. She could have willed her to, yes, but Enjel had done so much earlier, it was only clement to let her rest. At the memory of the incident, Platinum’s thumb absently brushed across her angel’s lips.
She leaned closer and whispered in Enjel’s ear, like a silken caress, final and suffocating:
“Thy sins are forgiven.”