Chapter Text
The Vanilla Kingdom was bustling and joyful as ever, cookies darting through the streets as the sun gleamed over glimmering paths and buildings new and old alike. Three cookies made their way through the noisy streets, stark in their dark attire. As soon as cookies caught sight of the trio, they fled out of sight.
“Are you certain we should not have worn our disguises, Master Shadow Milk Cookie?” Black Sapphire Cookie asked, peering back at the prying eyes that tried to peek out at them from behind cracked blinds and doors.
“When in the Vanilla Kingdom, do as the Vanillians do!” Shadow Milk Cookie replied with a twirl where he floated in the air. “Do you see any other cookies hiding who they are? Of course not! The Vanilla Kingdom is full of gross things like love and acceptance. Any cookie is welcome here, even us! At least that’s what that idiotic, self-righteous, goody-two-shoes—“ Shadow Milk Cookie growled, and nearly snapped his cane in half. “You get the point!”
His angered expression turned into a cruel smile. “I want every cookie in this stupid kingdom to see what a fool their so-called leader is. I want everyone to know that the cookie they revere so, so much insisted I make myself at home here. Right on their doorstep.”
It was impressive, the way the city managed to rebuild so fast after word of Pure Vanilla Cookie’s return spread. It was disappointing to see everything so busy and…bright. It made him sick. All of that work that he and his minions put into spreading rumors that Pure Vanilla was long dead, years of rumors and misdirection to make people lose hope in the “legendary heroes”, wasted.
He floated down to Candy Apple Cookie’s side. “Let me see the map, are we almost there?”
Candy Apple Cookie pulled the map taut and held it up higher for him to look at. “Just down the road and around the corner, Master Shadow Milk Cookie! I made sure that boring cookie gave me the best spot for you! He wanted you to be in some shoddy house right next to the castle, and I said no and told him to give us the place farthest away from him!”
“Ugh, thank the creators,” Shadow Milk sighed. He gave Candy Apple a pat on the head. “Good job.”
Candy Apple Cookie squealed, the paper threatening to rip with how hard she gripped it as she giggled. “Oh, anything for you, Master Shadow Milk Cookie,” she said as she batted her eyes.
“Pure Vanilla Cookie gave you this property?” Black Sapphire asked. “Is it within his power to do so? I thought he was no longer king.”
“Of course, of course! That silly self-righteous cookie just couldn’t leave a project unhelped.” Shadow Milk Cookie waved him off with a laugh. “He’s not the king, but you try telling that to all the cookies who kiss the ground he walks on!”
“Interesting…Maybe I will tell them that,” Black Sapphire mused, a wicked smile forming on his face.
Shadow Milk laughed and tumbled through the air. “Oh we are going to have so much fun here! I can feel it in the air, everyone is so happy and peaceful and trusting…a perfect, clean slate for us to ruin.”
Candy Apple Cookie giggled, a mischievous spark in her eyes. “I bet they don’t even leave their doors locked.”
“Oh? Does someone want to go on a scavenger hunt?” Shadow Milk asked, grinning wider.
Candy Apple Cookie squealed out a loud “YES” while Black Sapphire Cookie merely chuckled.
“Maybe we should get our house situated first. You said it was right around here, correct Candy Apple?”
Candy Apple Cookie pouted and looked at the map. “Yeah it’s right up ahead, there.”
She pointed at a lone house up ahead, a bit separated from the rest of the kingdom by a bridge spanning a small river. A cute little house with a waffle cone-shaped roof, the same as every other house. It was quaint, it was unassuming, it was cozy.
It was immediately demolished.
Candy Apple Cookie cheered on and excitedly suggested ideas as Shadow Milk Cookie flitted around the site and reconstructed everything with glee. Black Sapphire Cookie held up the sketch that Shadow Milk Cookie had drafted up in a snap, and even chimed in with ideas too.
Within no time at all, a replica of his old spire stretched into the sky, stark white and blue against the warm colors of the rest of the capital.
“Ah, home sweet home!” Shadow Milk Cookie announced. “What an upgrade, am I right?”
Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple Cookie applauded.
“Our master is the best!” Candy Apple cheered.
“Bravo, I can hardly tell the difference,” Black Sapphire Cookie agreed.
“Excuse me, sir.”
An unknown voice stopped the three in their celebrations. An older, monocled cookie stood there, a large binder in his hands.
“What? I’m a little busy here, you know,” Shadow Milk snapped.
“Of course, I’ll make it brief,” the cookie said with a bow. He opened up his binder and flipped through a couple pages. “I don’t recall seeing a permit for such an establishment come across my desk, and I have no records of it here either. May I see your licensing?”
“Permit? Licensing?” Shadow Milk Cookie echoed, and he erupted into laughter. “OH! Look at this little cookie, thinking he can boss me around! Ha! Oh that’s a good one.”
“Sir, I-I don’t know where you’re from, but here in the Vanilla Kingdom, all constructions must have approval—“
“Approval! Oh, you are just full of jokes!” Shadow Milk cackled. He got close, his expression dark. “I wonder, how many pieces do I need to crumble you into, before I get this oh-so-precious approval you care about so much?” He zipped away from the cookie to float in front of his two minions, holding out his jester hat to them. “Any bets? Any takers?”
“I’d like to wager on five,” Black Sapphire Cookie said with a smug smile as he dropped a couple coins into the hat.
“No, you’re so wrong!” Candy Apple protested, flinging a handful of coins into the hat as well. “He’s seconds away from crumbling on his own, just two and he’ll fold!”
“That’s why he’ll break into five pieces,” Black Sapphire Cookie corrected. “One measly poke from Master Shadow Milk Cookie, and he’ll be in no less than five pieces!”
“Shadow Milk—?!“ the older cookie started to repeat, only for his voice to die as Shadow Milk Cookie was in his space once more, the endless eyes in the darkness wide and fixing him in place.
“What will it be? Two, or five?” Shadow Milk asked, his voice dripping with venom.
“I—I apologize, I didn’t realize—!” the cookie pleaded. “I’ll forget this whole thing! Spare me!”
“Aw, look at him, so desperate for his own life! It warms my heart!” Shadow Milk Cookie snapped his fingers, and a piece of paper appeared. He handed it to the cookie, unamused. He just wanted to get to his chambers and enjoy a bit of rest at last. “This good enough for you?”
“Yes, yes, everything seems in order!” the cookie agreed, the paper going into his binder without a second glance. “I’ll be on my way!” He turned and sprinted off, and Shadow Milk Cookie sighed.
“Boring! Ah, what can you do,” Shadow Milk groaned. He turned back to his spire. “Come on you two, let’s get the inside facilities installed. Ugh, I am not looking forward to remaking that entire rumor mill.”
“If I may, I believe I have a better suggestion my lord,” Black Sapphire Cookie chimed in.
This caught Shadow Milk Cookie’s attention. “Oh? Well, don’t leave me hanging! What is it?”
“A way to spread rumors and chaos, all without leaving the comfort of your magnificent spire!” Black Sapphire Cookie announced with a flourish as they entered the building. “The world of streaming.”
“Streaming?”
“A new way for cookies to worship those that are better than them.” Black Sapphire Cookie pulled out a tablet, and tapped on it a couple times before holding it out. Shadow Milk Cookie took it, looking over the wall of different cookies with curiosity. Each cookie was doing something different in the photo, and whenever he tapped on one cookie’s picture, it pulled up a live video broadcast of that cookie moving and talking. Text popped up in rapid succession on the bottom of the screen.
“It is the modern form of live entertainment. Anyone with the technology can watch whatever is broadcast to this website, anywhere in Earthbread. A virtual stage, always ready and waiting for the star.”
Shadow Milk Cookie’s face lit up at this information and he shoved the tablet back into Black Sapphire Cookie’s hands. “You two, get this set up and spread the word immediately.”
“Yes, Master Shadow Milk Cookie,” the two said in unison. They dutifully bowed and disappeared further into the spire.
Pure Vanilla Cookie sat at his table, sipping on tea as he enjoyed the momentary peace. Many cookies still sought him out for advice, and he was treated as if his word was still law. With every conversation, he hoped that it sunk in just a little deeper that he was not the ruler, until he could spend his days as he pleased.
“Pure Vanilla Cookie!!”
That day was not today.
“Yes, Banana Bread Cookie?” he asked, turning towards the panicked head of civil engineering.
“There’s a vicious cookie on the edge of town with an illegal building operation! One of the b-beast cookies!” Banana Bread Cookie cried. “All I asked was to see a permit, and they threatened to crumble me for it! I barely got away intact!” He opened his binder and scrambled through it, until he produced a piece of paper and handed it over.
Pure Vanilla turned his staff towards the paper, scanning over the words written in crayon.
Shadow Milk Cookie, the handsome and sophisticated cookie of deceit and lies, may always do as he pleases.
- Shadow Milk Cookie
A small doodle of Shadow Milk Cookie’s face was in the corner, smiling with several little sparkles around it. Pure Vanilla couldn’t help but chuckle at it. How cute.
“I apologize for the trouble, he is a friend of mine that is still unused to living in society.” Pure Vanilla Cookie switched his staff to his other hand so he could take a pen and scrawl his signature along the bottom, a stark contrast to the blocky crayon. He grabbed a small clamp from his robes and squeezed it over the paper, the official seal of the Vanilla Kingdom now crimped into the paper next to Shadow Milk Cookie’s face.
Even though it would be obeyed, he didn’t enjoy exercising the power that he had abdicated. But if he didn’t step in, who knows what would happen to the next cookie that tried to tell Shadow Milk Cookie no. He handed the paper back. “Here, file this away if you would.”
“If— If you insist, sir,” Banana Bread Cookie muttered, putting the paper back in his binder. “But…you’re friends with such a violent cookie?”
“Of course. He has one of the most brilliant minds on Earthbread.” Pure Vanilla finished the last of his tea and stood. “In fact, thank you very much for telling me about this illegal building operation. I’d like to go observe his work.”
With that, Pure Vanilla excused himself, his staff tapping against the polished tiles and cobblestones as he made his way to the house he gave to Shadow Milk Cookie and his companions. It had been an empty house before, and he knew the three would likely remodel as soon as they moved in, but he hadn’t been expecting them to take his offer so soon.
It was already a surprise to see Candy Apple Cookie show up to the audience chambers disguised and asking for that deed that he promised Shadow Milk Cookie. He thought he would crumble before he saw the day Shadow Milk Cookie would accept his offer to come live in the Vanilla Kingdom. But here he was, a few days later, going to visit his new friend’s residence. He hummed a small tune as he walked, until he saw the pointed top of a familiar spire in the distance poking above the houses. They made themselves right at home, what an excellent start. He should bring a housewarming gift.
He made the decision then to stop at the florist’s and pick up a cream rose shrub. He hoped the beast cookie liked it, and didn’t destroy it in front of him out of spite. The young girl who sold him the shrub looked so happy and proud as she said she had been growing it herself.
He crossed the short bridge to stand in front of the spire, barely swallowing the rising dread in his throat. It was a near-perfect replica of that cursed place. He should be happy. It was what made Shadow Milk Cookie and his minions comfortable. He should be happy for his new friends.
Yet all he felt was disgusted.
Maybe allowing Shadow Milk to live in the Vanilla Kingdom wasn’t such a good idea after all. Would Shadow Milk Cookie destroy it all? Burn it down? He turned around to look upon the wonderful, bright city that was just starting to get its bearings again, only to be met with a blazing inferno where the city just was. He stumbled back, tripping on a crumbling cobblestone and falling onto the ground.
“What—?!”
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Shadow Milk Cookie’s voice echoed around him. "Isn't it everything you ever wanted? You're free again, no more kingdom to watch over!"
“No!” Pure Vanilla Cookie screamed. He gripped his staff and slammed it into the ground, the illusion shattering in an instant. “Your tricks will not work on me any longer! I won’t allow it!”
As the illusion disappeared, Shadow Milk Cookie floated in front of him, a delighted grin spread across his face. “Aw, what’s the matter? Wouldn’t it be nice to burn it all down? You could go back to your peaceful way of life, no annoying cookies to bother you day in and day out…”
“That is not what I want! Not in a million years!” Pure Vanilla snapped, holding his staff to his chest. Wait— didn’t he have something in one of his hands before? He gasped at the sight of the rose shrub fallen on the ground, its soil spilled out of the temporary pot that sheltered it.
“Oh no, I’m so sorry..!” he murmured, kneeling to pick up the pot and carefully scoop as much of the soil back into it. He was thankful that the shrub hadn’t snapped from the fall.
“Uh? Helloooo? It’s rude to ignore a cookie trying to corrupt you, you know.” Shadow Milk Cookie floated over to look over his shoulder. “What’s that?”
Pure Vanilla cradled the pot to his chest as he turned towards Shadow Milk. “Well, I heard from Banana Bread Cookie that there was a violent cookie on the outskirts with an illegal building operation. I wanted to bring that cookie a housewarming gift,” he explained as he held the pot out. “And…ask that cookie to please never threaten the city workers again.”
“Ah, but you see, I have a permit.” With a wave of his cane, the same crayon-scribbled permit appeared, but this time with Pure Vanilla’s signature and seal stamped at the bottom. “A permit from the king of the Vanilla Kingdom himself, to do whatever I want!”
“I’m not the king anymore,” Pure Vanilla said with a sigh. He was tired of repeating those words. He pushed the pot into Shadow Milk’s chest. “Please, take care of it. Cardamom Cookie worked very hard to grow it.”
Shadow Milk looked down at the pot now in his hands, grimacing. “Ugh. Do I have to?”
“I’ll be visiting often to make sure you are adjusting well to the new lifestyle. I will be very sad to see it withered, so if you do not take care of it, I will."
That pulled an even deeper look of disgust from the beast cookie.
“Master Shadow Milk Cookie!!”
Something flew through the air, too fast for Pure Vanilla to turn his staff in time to see before it smacked him directly in the face. And stuck. Pure Vanilla pried the syrup-covered apple off of his face, trying not to wince at the sticky residue left behind. “Hello, Candy Apple Cookie. How do you do?”
“Shut up! I don’t talk to boring, no-good cookies!” Candy Apple snapped at him. She held a box in her arms, and a murderous glare in her eyes.
“Hey, worry about the gnat later. Did you find the stuff?” Shadow Milk asked as he zipped over to peer into the box she held.
Candy Apple Cookie beamed, her attitude completely changing as Shadow Milk Cookie invaded her space to rummage through the box. “Yep! Everything, and some of the stuff on Black Sapphire Cookie’s list, because he was being a slowpoke!”
“Well lookie you, what a good minion you are!” Shadow Milk said as he patted the top of Candy Apple’s head. “Great job!”
The poor girl looked as if she was about to explode, shivering with energy as she beamed. Pure Vanilla’s staff squinted. Was she crying..? “Master Shadow Milk Cookie….!”
“You little PEST!”
Black Sapphire Cookie ran across the bridge, holding his own box and looking extremely pissed. “Those were my parts!”
“But I was the one to bring them here first,” Candy Apple Cookie said with a smug grin.
“Only because you kicked me in the—“
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Pure Vanilla spoke up, his brow furrowed in worry. “But what parts are they? What are you planning to do?”
Shadow Milk turned and tilted his head with a grin. “What else is a cookie of lies and deceit to do when he finds a perfectly good intact city? Build a bomb and blow it all up, of course!”
“A bomb?!” Pure Vanilla gasped.
“Ha! Oh, what a reaction!” Shadow Milk snickered and plopped the potted rose inside Black Sapphire Cookie's box, then took Candy Apple Cookie's box to show Pure Vanilla what was inside. Various gadgets, boards, and wires were strewn inside. “See? Bomb parts.”
Pure Vanilla leaned his staff in closer to inspect the parts. “…Those don’t look like bomb parts.”
“Oh-ho? Has our dear Pure Vanilla Cookie built a bomb before? I didn’t realize we had an expert in our midst!”
Pure Vanilla picked up a pair of headphones from the box and held them up. “I don’t think these are necessary for a bomb.” He turned the headphones this way and that. They were a light shade of blue, with…cat ears on the top? “What are these necessary for?”
Shadow Milk snatched the headphones back and put them back in the box. He tossed the box to Candy Apple Cookie, who caught it mid-air with a pleased grin. “Just a little something I like to call…Er, what was it again?”
“Streaming, sire,” Black Sapphire Cookie piped up. “Video broadcasting, if you prefer.”
“Oh! I have heard the little ones talk about something like that,” Pure Vanilla said, beaming. “It’s good to hear you have a new hobby. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”
“You can help by leaving,” Shadow Milk growled. “I have things to do!”
“Very well. I wish you the best of luck,” Pure Vanilla said. He turned and left. He’d have to ask one of the younger cookies later what it was that Shadow Milk was up to. He hoped it was nothing dangerous.