Work Text:
where’s the trophy?
he just comes running over to me.
work long and hard enough, and you’ll start measuring success by the plaques, medals, and every glittering thing displayed on your shelf.
you can never win everything, people always say. that much is true. hanbin never dreams of winning everything, just the things that matter most to him.
if you ask him what his top priority is, he could easily tell you: there are two things that keep him going in this world. the first is music. the second is love.
it’s a bit of a sticky situation when those two overlap, along with his desire to win. he’s only human, after all; he’s bound to experience some form of jealousy and greed. never hatred. just a feeling of want, want, want.
like how he wanted zhang hao so badly; to have love in his hands, his arms, and in places where he could feel it even when he’s asleep. but he had also wanted to win and debut. he had worked hard for it. he knew he earned it.
you can never have two things at once, that’s what they say.
so when it’s down to him and a doe-eyed boy he’s come to cherish, along with two other people he thinks will debut, with only three seats left and his lover’s name still not mentioned, he begs. among the crowd, in the eyes of the world, and in the fans who chant his name, he begs and begs for the prophecy to be changed.
please, for once, let me have both.
that was also the moment he realized there is no love in winning if he has to lose love to win.
then both of their faces appear on the screen, and the crowd screams. hours turn into minutes, which turn into seconds, and as quickly as hanbin had earned a seat that he would park somewhere on his shelf, he had also lost.
this time is different. there is no bitter taste in your mouth when the person you love wins.
there is just disappointment that perhaps you lost because you weren’t loved enough.
but when the shiny trophy comes out, and there are tears sticking to the floor, and all the winner does is look at him with stars in their eyes and pulls him into their arms, he realizes he had already won.
•
hanbin greets his lover at the door. “four solo wins! i’m so proud of you.”
“five,” zhang hao says with a smile. “the first one was you.”