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It had been a few weeks since the end of term, and Kitty was having the summer of her life. This was partially thanks to the lavish accommodations, restaurants, and sightseeing activities that Minho’s dad was constantly booking for their tour’s road crew.
But Kitty had to admit, another big part of her happiness was owed to all the time she got to spend with Minho. It was only now, when she got to spend her days by his side, that she realized just how much she had missed his presence in her life while he had been dating Stella.
The crew had stayed in a lot of different hotels since they’d started out on their big tour, but recently Kitty’s room always seemed to be assigned right next door to Minho’s. Suspicious. She wondered who had contrived things so conveniently.
In any case, she was grateful for it, because it meant that when the walls were thin, she could sometimes hear his voice. Lately, Minho had taken to calling his mom at night before going to bed. Kitty guessed this was when she was most likely to have a moment to talk to her son before rushing off to her next engagement in L.A.
Kitty couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to have to fight for her family’s attention like that. With her dad and sisters, they were always ready to drop everything to help her when she needed them, day or night. Obviously, she had never gotten the chance to be close to her own mother, but she always figured that if Mom had been around, she would have been there for Kitty no matter what. Maybe things worked differently in Minho’s family.
In any case, Kitty was more than happy to listen to Minho’s muffled voice through the wall that separated their rooms as he and his mom chatted in Korean. Although, she barely understood one out of ten words that he said. On some nights she would just lay in bed and listen to him talking until she fell asleep. For some reason his voice was really relaxing. She wondered if he knew that he had this superpower. Probably not, since she hadn’t dared to tell him about the thin-wall situation yet, for fear that he would get self-conscious about it. She wanted to be closer to him, even though he had seemed hesitant to open up to her lately about certain things. Kitty couldn’t help but worry that it would take a while for things to go back to normal again after the disaster with Stella. That is, if they ever did become normal again….
Usually, when Minho was on the phone with his mom, his tone of voice was playful and affectionate, kind of like a little kid. He obviously cared about her a lot. He seemed to let down his guard when he was with her. It was one of the reasons why Kitty liked listening to him talk like this. He just let himself be soft-hearted with his mom in ways that he didn’t with other people. Kitty hoped that one day he would feel safe enough to speak that tenderly to her, too.
However, during tonight’s call, there was something different in Minho’s tone of voice. There was something sharp, maybe even… angry? Kitty guessed he was wearing headphones because she could only hear his side of the conversation. Not that hearing both sides would have helped anyway, since her Korean skills were hopelessly inadequate. She was starting to wish she had studied harder in Korean class.
At some point, the tone of Minho’s voice rose in a way that made Kitty sit up in bed, her heart hammering in her chest. He was practically yelling at his mom. She had never known him to fight with her like that. With his dad, sure, but with his mom? This was serious.
The argument seemed to continue for a little while, the pitch and speed of Minho’s words rising more and more before he abruptly hung up. Silence permeated Kitty’s hotel room. She stared at the wall in front of her, waiting with bated breath to hear what would happen next. But there was nothing, just quiet. Somehow, this worried Kitty more than the yelling. What was he thinking about, all alone in his room? Was he okay? She started to wonder if it would be weird for her to go check on him. Yep, probably weird. She wasn’t even supposed to be eavesdropping on this conversation. Well, was it really eavesdropping if she couldn’t speak the language? Agh, focus Kitty!
No, she couldn’t just leave him alone. Knowing Minho, he was unlikely to ask anyone for help if he was upset. Knowing Minho, he would want to deal with everything all on his own because he wouldn’t want to burden others with his emotions. Kitty couldn’t just let that happen. She had to do something.
As quiet as a mouse, she crept out of her bed, grabbed her room’s keycard, and slipped out into the hallway. She approached Minho’s room and for a few seconds, she just stood in front of the door, frozen in place. Is this the right thing to do or just incredibly stupid? Oh God, she was even wearing a pair of Minho’s luxury silk pyjamas. She’d had to borrow them because she’d packed in a rush after Minho agreed to let her tag along for the tour. She hoped that her showing up while wearing his clothes wouldn’t make things awkward.
No, what mattered now was being there for her friend. Just like he had been there for her when everything came crashing down with Yuri, and with her great-aunt. Her heartbeat rushing in her ears, Kitty gently knocked on Minho’s door. For a few seconds, nothing happened. But then, she heard those designer slippers shuffling towards her. Was it too late to run away? Then, the door opened, and she was face to face with Minho. Yep, definitely too late.
All her worry vanished, though, as soon as she saw his face. His eyes were red and puffy. He had been crying. On top of that, he looked… pissed off. Like he wasn’t just sad but feeling frustrated and maybe even betrayed.
Before Kitty could say a word, Minho switched into his usual model-Minho-mode. As soon as he saw who was at the door, he quickly brushed a hand through his hair and morphed his expression into a sly smile, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong. “Hey Covey, did you miss me so much you couldn’t wait until morning to see me?”
Not intending to let Minho shut her out again, Kitty blew past him into the room. She replied, “No, actually, I was in the next room, and it sounded like you were upset. I came to check up on you.” She took a seat on the side of his bed and looked up at Minho with an unwavering gaze. She wasn’t going to let him get away with hiding from her. Not this time.
“Oh,” was Minho’s only response as he rubbed his neck nervously, unwilling to meet her eyes. He heaved a sigh and shuffled over to join her on the bed. “Okay fine, I’ll admit it. My mum and I had a fight.”
For a moment, they just sat in silence. “Do you want to talk about it?” Kitty asked, still trying to make eye contact. For a moment, Minho appeared wrestle with himself about how to answer. Then, he raised his head and finally met Kitty’s eyes as he gave a small nod.
Trying not to show how relieved she felt at this, Kitty silently scooted up on Minho’s bed and arranged his pillows against the headboard so that the two of them could sit against it comfortably. It’s what she and her sisters had always done when they needed a late-night chat together. As she settled in against her pillow, she wordlessly patted the spot next to her as an invitation to join her. Minho smirked sarcastically, as if he doubted the efficacy of slumber party girl talk. Kitty would show him not to question the wisdom of her methods!
“Talk to me. I promise it will make you feel better,” she said quietly but firmly as Minho settled into place next to her. He rolled his eyes a bit, but didn’t protest. Again, it took a while for him to think of what he wanted to say. Kitty didn’t mind waiting, though. She had all the time in the world to give to this boy, after everything he had done for her.
“I told my mum about what happened with Stella,” Minho started gingerly, “and, well… I guess I was disappointed by her reaction to all of it.”
“Disappointed how?” Kitty asked carefully. She knew that Stella was a touchy subject between herself and Minho now. Especially after she had realized that maybe a teensy part of why Kitty had obsessively searched for dirt on Stella was that she had been jealous of her. Minho probably didn’t realize that, though. At least, Kitty didn’t think so.
Minho continued, “See, my mother has a bit of an unorthodox take on relationships. After her marriage with my dad went up in flames… well, I think she was really hurt by that, and she didn’t want to get hurt again. That’s why she only ever dates casually and… moves from one guy to the next pretty fast.” He glanced at Kitty to gauge her reaction to this slightly embarrassing admission. She just nodded encouragingly and waited for him to keep going.
“I guess,” Minho went on, “that she has kind of influenced me in that way too. Whenever I’ve dated a girl, my mum would tell me not to get too attached, or to make sure I was in control of the situation. Except, that hasn’t worked out as well for me as it has for my mum. Like, with Stella, over time I let her get really close to me. Close enough that she was nearly able to destroy my life and…” he glanced up at Kitty before darting his eyes away, a bit of colour rising to his cheeks, “the lives of people I care about.” Kitty blushed a bit herself once she realized what he was referring to: Stella’s threat to frame Kitty for her crimes. Minho had tolerated Stella’s manipulations in order to protect her.
Minho cleared his throat and continued, “Anyway, tonight, when I told my mum the details of what happened, she reacted in a way that I wasn’t really expecting. She said that by opening myself up so much to Stella, I had given her all that power over me. And that if I had just kept my feelings reigned in like I should have, nobody would have been able to manipulate me like that. She told me tonight, ‘Once you have the upper hand, never give it up, even if you think that you are in love with that person. Because people will always disappoint you.’”
Kitty just stared at her friend, eyes wide in disbelief. This was really bad. Worse than she had expected. How could his own mother blame him for the abuse that someone else had inflicted on him? Then again, it explained a lot: his playboy act, his need to “play things cool” no matter what, his attempts at distancing himself from others even though he obviously cared. Behind that mask, he was really just afraid of getting hurt.
“God, Minho, that’s… I’m so sorry,” Kitty said. “I just want to say, I get where your mom is coming from, but everything that happened with Stella? None of that was your fault.”
Minho looked at her skeptically. “Well, I don’t know Kitty. Maybe my mum came on a little strong, but isn’t she at least partially right? If I hadn’t trusted Stella, none of that mess would have ever happened, and—”
“No,” Kitty stopped him by putting a hand on his arm, staring him dead in the eyes. “It was Stella’s fault. Period. She was a nasty piece of work who just wanted to spread her bitterness to everyone around her. Did you blame me when Stella stole my letter to Yuri and exposed it to everyone? I could have kept my bedroom door locked at all times to keep her away from it, you know.”
“What? Of course not, Covey, that would be ridiculous. You can’t live your life thinking everyone is trying to sabotage you.”
Kitty just cocked an eyebrow in response and Minho heaved a sigh. “Okay, fine, I see your point. But still, I can’t help but feel that things are sort of different for me.”
“In what way?” Kitty’s brows knitted together doubtfully.
“In the sense that I don’t really have that many people in my corner. And with the family I have, I can’t really afford to make mistakes like that, especially as the least favourite son…” his voiced trailed off a bit as he was hit by the weight of what he had just admitted.
Kitty wasn’t deterred, though. “No, I get it. You’ve been disappointed by people in your life. A lot. And it probably hurts you even more when things go wrong because of what you saw happen to your mom and dad as a kid.” She nodded slowly to herself. “Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I realize how lucky I was to grow up with the family I did. I know that my parents loved each other until the day they parted. And my dad and sisters have been there for me always, no matter what. I didn’t have to hold back my trust or be afraid of losing their love. It was just… always there. For me, love wasn’t something that came and left, leaving me hurt and confused. Even with my mom, after she died, her love stayed. I saw it living on in my dad, in my sisters, and in the way they went on to love other people. So, I think you’re right Minho. I think I find it easier to trust people because that’s pretty much all I’ve ever known.”
Minho just stared at her and let out a scoff of what might have been surprise, or disbelief. Before he could say anything, Kitty went on in a fake British accent, “However, I must protest one of your other claims.”
“Oh really?” he grinned wryly.
“Yes,” she replied in her crappy imitation of his posh accent. “I refuse to accept your claim that there aren’t many people who care about you. I declare this allegation to be entirely false,” she concluded with great aplomb.
Minho laughed out loud at this. Kitty broke into a giggle herself. She knew he secretly loved it when she mimicked his way of talking. And it was one of the things that she loved about being with him, how they could be goofy together.
The tension was gone from his face, so Kitty thought it would be safe enough to continue. “Seriously Minho, I think you give your friends too little credit. It’s true that things are kind of complicated with your mom and dad right now, but have you ever considered that we are your family too? Everyone in our friend group at K.I.S.S. cares about you a lot.”
“Hmm, that I’m not so sure about,” Minho replied with a feigned lightness of tone that Kitty saw right through. “Sure, I guess that people like hanging out with me because they know I can host huge parties, give nice gifts, or simply dazzle them with my devilishly good looks,” he waggled his eyebrows seductively at Kitty in an attempt at making her laugh again. She didn’t find it all that funny this time, though.
“I don’t believe that,” she responded quietly.
“Illuminate me, then!” Minho asked in an amused voice.
Kitty paused for a moment before saying, “You are so loved, Minho. By Dae, by Q, and… by me as well.”
“What, is this your way of confessing you’re secretly in love with me, Covey?” he teased, a smirk growing on his lips.
She looked at those lips for a moment, then lifted her gaze to meet his eyes. “What if it is?” she replied. And in that instant, all the levity between them disappeared. His smile faded slowly and his mouth opened slightly in shock. The air grew thick with tension as they stared at each other.
“What are you saying?” he whispered, searching her eyes for answers. It was as if she had revealed a secret that was going to get them both in trouble. All his bravado was gone. All that was left was this wide-eyed young boy, who was scared but trying not to show it.
Kitty exhaled and set her jaw. She turned squarely toward him and looked him straight in the eye. “What I’m saying, Minho, is that you do deserve to be loved. I am sick and tired of you assuming that I only like you for the things you can offer. That I care about your money, or your clothes, or how you can charm the socks off anyone you meet. Sure, those things are great, but I like you because you’re you. No matter how much you might pretend otherwise, you are honest, loyal, and so, so caring. I don’t know how I would have gotten through the last semester without you. You love your friends so beautifully, so is it really that hard to believe that I’m in love with you?”
“Are you… are you being serious right now?” he asked uncertainly, laughing nervously like he couldn’t believe what she was saying. His eyes had grown wide and dark.
Kitty’s heart broke from how much he doubted her. “Yes, I am being serious,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion. Without thinking too hard about what she was doing, she took his hand into hers and kissed his knuckles lightly, trying to convey her affection without scaring him away. His eyes widened sharply. Kitty rambled on in a rush before he could shut her down, “I know that this probably isn’t the right time to be confessing these things and that you’re still getting over Stella, but you need to know that not everyone is going to use and discard you, and that love can be real sometimes, and—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Minho had placed a hand on her cheek and leaned in to silence her with his lips.
He approached her quickly, but his kiss was soft and slow, barely moving his mouth on hers. Kitty felt the heat of his skin in those small points of contact. It was a tentative but eager kiss, like he had needed to confirm something. For a moment, Kitty sat frozen in shock, unable to register what was happening. Oh my god, oh my god, is this for real? Did Minho just kiss me?
After a few seconds which felt like an eternity, Minho gently pulled away, just enough to look her in the eyes and whisper, “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that, Covey.” Kitty grinned, her heart fit to burst with how giddy those words made her feel. His hand was warm and soft on her face and his eyes were so wide and earnest, she thought that she might drown in their depths.
Without wasting another second, Minho kissed her again, this time with less patience. One of his hands snaked around her waist to pull her closer to him, the other hand slipping into her hair. Minho kissed her deeply, like he had been dying of thirst and her lips were the only source of water that he wanted to drink from. Kitty’s breathing hitched and her eyelids fluttered in a dizzy haze. Is this a dream? Her hands were on his neck and he felt so warm, so solid and so real. Minho’s lips only parted from her mouth so he could kiss a trail of fire along her jaw, her neck, her collarbone. Definitely too good to be a dream. As soon as Kitty let out a little noise of surprise and pleasure when his tongue tickled at her skin, his lips rose back up to hers, needing to taste her again.
As their kiss continued, Kitty shifted up from her seat on the bed, wanting to be closer to him, to be face to face so that she could see all of him. As if he had read her mind, Minho grasped her hips in his hands. He effortlessly lifted her onto his lap so that her legs straddled his waist, Kitty’s long hair falling in a curtain around both their faces.
Kitty laughed in disbelief at how easily he had just lifted her, like she weighed no more than a feather. “I guess those muscles aren’t just for show, huh?” she teased, running her hands from his shoulders down to his chest for emphasis.
“Shut up, Covey,” Minho grumbled with a begrudging smile. He pulled her back into him so that he could kiss her again, and again, and again, until his body and soul were rewired to believe that, yes: sometimes, love could stay.