Work Text:
Beep beep beep
Tyler slammed his hand down onto his alarm clock, shutting off the offensive beeping. He shifted so that he was laying on his back, facing the ceiling. He couldn't quite open his eyes yet; he was still too tired.
He laid there for a good few minutes before slowly opening his eyes. The curtains were drawn, so he couldn't tell what time of day it was even if he wanted to. Immediately, he had a feeling today was probably not going to be a good day. He grabbed his phone off his bedside, unplugging it from where it had been charging overnight. Turning it on, he sighed when he saw it was Saturday. He didn't even need to be awake, but by now he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. It was only four-thirty in the morning.
He sat up in his bed, hanging his feet over the edge. He stood slowly, walking towards his bedroom door. He knew nobody in the house would be awake this early.
The door creaked loudly as Tyler opened it, cringing at the sound. He padded down the stairs quietly, hoping he wouldn't wake someone. Once he reached the bottom step, he turned on his phone to use it as a flashlight. He walked cautiously to the living room, finding the television remote and the Xbox controller on the coffee table.
Plopping down onto the couch, he turned on the television, squinting his eyes at the sudden brightness. It was a definite contrast to the darkness all around him. He switched the setting to the Xbox, turning it on. As he waited for everything to load, he grabbed his phone, dialling Josh’s number.
After five rings, Tyler heard a disgruntled voice answer the phone.
“It’s like, dark o’clock. Why are you calling me?” he asked, words still gravelly from sleep.
“Hey, mind coming over and watching Netflix? You can even fall back asleep,” He asked the tired boy. He heard movements, which he assumed was Josh sitting up. Josh sighed, and Tyler could hear him moving around his room.
“Yeah, I'll be there soon. Want me to pick anything up? Ice cream, chips?” Josh asked, keys jangling in his hand. Tyler smiled at his concern.
“No. Thanks, really. I'm sorry I woke you up.”
“No problem. I'll be over in a few. Love you,” he said, and Tyler could vaguely hear a woman's voice, and then Josh explaining where he was going so early (late?).
“Love you, too,” he replied, and hung up the phone. He grabbed the controller, flicking through the pages until he found Netflix. He opened it, logging into his account. He had nothing to do until Josh came, so he resigned to looking through his list about a thousand times, even though he had a feeling he would just end up watching X-Files again.
Tyler's eyes were beginning to droop when he felt his phone vibrate against his leg. He picked it up, reading Josh’s message.
4:43 a.m.
Josh: I'm here lemme in that door tho
Tyler laughed, setting down the controller. He stood, pocketing his phone. The floors creaked ever so slightly as Tyler walked over to the front door. Opening the door, he saw Josh standing there in fleece pajama pants and a white tank top. He stepped aside, letting Josh walk in before shutting the door and heading back to the couch.
When he got there, Josh was already sitting there waiting for him. He sat down next to him, leaning his head on Josh’s shoulder.
“What’re we gonna watch?” Josh asked, turning his head slightly to look at Tyler.
“I don't know. Whatever you want, I guess. I just want you here,” he answered, grabbing Josh’s arm and placing it around his shoulder. Josh squeezed him lightly, kissing the top of his head.
They sat there for a few minutes, Josh flicking through the list of shows, until Tyler broke the silence.
“I gotta pee, be right back.” He stood from the couch, walking towards the bathroom.
Tyler flicked on the light in the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He stood in front of the mirror, examining himself. Looking for things to hate.
He decided he was fat. His stomach was too chubby. His thighs were too big.
He brushed through his hair with his hand, trying to make it look slightly less disheveled. It didn’t work. There were bags under his eyes from sleeping poorly. Tyler decided he hated those, too.
He looked over himself one last time. Disgusting, he thought, flushing the toilet to make it seem like he was actually doing what he said he was. He turned on the faucet for a minute so that it sounded like he was washing his hands. He opened the door, switching off the light.
He felt heavy, like there was too much of him. His self loathing only grew by the second. The television was bright against the darkness of the room as he sat down again on the couch.
Josh wrapped his arm around Tyler's shoulder, smiling at him.
“Josh… why do you even like me?”
“Because you're you. You’re funny, you're cute, and you're overall amazing,” Josh answered without skipping a beat. Tyler sighed.
“But I'm not any of those things. Especially cute. I'm really the opposite of cute. I'm fat and ugly, and my nose looks weird, and I'm really not cute at all.”
“Tyler Joseph, you are as cute as a button and don't you ever think otherwise. You are not fat at all. What are you even talking about?”
“Josh, you don't see me like I see me. I'm fat. I'm disgusting. I should just never eat again.”
“Of course you should eat! You need to eat, Tyler. And you know what? You don't see you like I see you. I see you as the cutest boy on this whole planet. I see you as the boy I love. I see you as something important. You mean so much to me, Tyler. I don't know what I would do without you. Please, don't you ever even think about harming your beautiful body. In any way.” It was then that Tyler began to cry. It was nearly five in the morning, and Tyler was already crying into his boyfriend's chest.
“I just love you so much, Josh, and I just don't want to lose you. I don't want you to leave me because I'm-I'm ugly, or- I don't know,” he said, struggling to stay quiet as he cried.
“I won't leave you, Tyler. I love you so much,” he said, squeezing him gently. Tyler sniffled and curled further into Josh’s arms.
“I like it when you say my name. You make it sound so pretty.” Josh laughed.
“Your name is pretty. A pretty name for a very pretty boy.” Tyler smiled at that. He looked up at Josh with so much emotion in his eyes. He leaned closer, pressing his lips against Josh’s.
He pressed back lightly, then pulled away, looking into Tyler’s eyes.
“I love you so much,” Tyler smiled, “Do you wanna just go back to sleep? I'm pretty tired.” Josh shrugged his shoulders as much as he could with a boy laying on top of one of them.
“If you want to. I'll do either.”
“Alright, let's go to bed, then.”
Tyler shut off the television and followed Josh up the stairs. They both snuck back into Tyler's room, burying themselves under the blanket on his bed. Josh smiled, pecking Tyler on the lips.
“Goodnight, Tyler. I love you.”
“Goodnight. I love you, too.”
***
They woke up later that morning to Tyler's mother knocking on the door. Tyler groaned out a “yeah,” sitting up just enough to be able to see her.
“Oh, Josh! I wasn't expecting you here! Anyways, I just came to wake you up, Tyler. It's already past eleven,” she said. Tyler looked down to his left and saw Josh laying there. He had almost forgotten about last night (this morning?) for a moment.
“Good morning, Mrs. Joseph,” he said, not even bothering to sit up.
“I'll be down in a few, mom,” he said, laying back down on his back. She turned to walk out, shutting the door behind her.
“Are you feeling any better than before?” Josh asked. Tyler turned to look at him. He smiled, nodding.
“I can never feel bad for long when you're around.” He pecked Josh on the lips, sitting up to get out of bed.
“Now scoot, you're in my way.”
“Yes, your highness,” Josh joked, sitting up on the edge of the bed.
Tyler stood along with him, turning to kiss him softly on the cheek. After a second, he pulled away, locking eyes with Josh.
“Good morning, pretty boy,” he smiled.
“I thought you were pretty boy, not me.”
“Why can't we both be pretty boys?” Tyler asked, laughing.
“Because that's not how it works. One of us is the pretty boy, the other one is… not. I don't know.”
“So, what, I'm the pretty boy?”
“Definitely.”