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It had just been a passing comment, but, as Sigma had come to expect of the Agency, it immediately snowballed.
“It’s such a shame we’re stuck inside in this weather,” Sigma had mused, gazing longingly out of the window at the cloudless sky. “It would be lovely to eat out there.”
Dazai had latched onto the idea immediately. Sigma still wasn’t certain if it was because she liked the idea that much, or if it was because they had been the one to suggest it.
“We could have a picnic on Saturday!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. The sudden movement caused her cane to fall to the ground with such force that both Sigma and Atsushi startled.
Ranpo, too, didn’t take any convincing. Probably because of the promise of food and snacks at the picnic, but that meant that the President was on board as well.
No one else protested, bar Kunikida. He had immediately began ranting about their projected expenses and how much they already owe Café Uzumaki for all the inconvenience they cause them with their noise and-
Then the President ordered that it would happen, and suddenly Kunikida was the driving force behind the picnic, planning every detail down to a T and assigning each of the Agency members a task to help things run smoothly.
“Sigma, you’ll be in charge of dessert,” Kunikida instructed sternly, pushing his glasses further up his nose. “We should have enough to fund ingredients for two recipes. Can you do that?”
“Of course!” Sigma replied immediately, thrilled that their proficiency in baking was being recognised.
Kunikida had set his sights on Dazai next, which is where things took a turn.
“Dazai, I’ll put you in charge of snacks. You need to ensure you get healthy ones, but I can allow some sweets to be bought as well.”
“Hmm,” Dazai hummed, as if she was considering it. “No!”
Kunikida’s face darkened immediately.
“Dazai-” he began warningly, but Ranpo cut him off before he could finish his sentence.
“Don’t push it, Kunikida.”
Of course, no one dared to argue with Ranpo, so the room immediately fell silent.
Sigma watched as Dazai nodded appreciatively at Ranpo, who nodded right back. They had no idea what the two were saying, and the silence in the room was rapidly becoming suffocating.
“I’ll get snacks!” they offered in a bright tone, mainly to fill the silence, but also because they didn’t mind the extra work.
“Thank you, Sigma,” Kunikida smiled at them.
Other than that hiccup, everything else went smoothly with organising the picnic. Sigma made sure to bake the desserts they were bringing - a chocolate cake and a large batch of cookies - the night before.
As they clambered into bed, they couldn’t stop grinning, their body thrumming like an engine in anticipation. Tomorrow, they would be seeing Dazai. Outside of work.
Of course, they were excited to see everyone. The Agency had given them a home when they thought there was no hope of them ever receiving one. They made them feel welcome, made them feel like they belonged.
Yet Dazai shone inexplicably brighter than the others in their eyes. She was the one to bring them into the Agency, to lead them to their family. She had saved their life; it was perfectly logical that Sigma should feel indebted to her.
Yet deep down, Sigma knew that wasn’t why they were drawn to her. There were a million reasons why - it seemed as if every part of them was drawn to every part of her. Even when Dazai was riling people up intentionally, she had this spark that no one else did. It was in her eyes, in her laugh, in the way she carried herself. Sigma wanted to reach out to that spark, to shield it from any harm that could come to it.
That desire made no sense. Dazai could protect herself. She had proved it time and time again. Not to mention that she had manipulated them, used them.
Right before giving them a home, and a family.
That wasn’t what drew them to her. Even before Dazai had saved them, even when she had been using them, they had harboured feelings for her that they couldn’t explain.
The connection was inexplicable, unknown; but with Dazai, for the first time in their life, Sigma wasn’t afraid of the unknown.
With Dazai, it seemed exciting.
•─────•❀•─────•
The incessant beeping of their alarm startles Sigma from their sleep, yet they smile as they stretch their arms out before pushing their covers back. Sunlight is pouring in a concentrated crack into their room through a gap in the curtains, and they allow themself a second of watching dust swirl in the light.
Eventually, though, they need to get up.
Sigma is a morning person, through and through. They are most productive, and make their best decisions before noon, which is why they’ve decided to buy snacks for the picnic this morning. They’ll get ready and leave early, buy snacks, then meet up with the rest of the Agency for the picnic.
Sigma pads across their bedroom and out into the miniature hallway. Their apartment with the Agency only has three rooms - a bathroom, a bedroom and a combined living room and kitchen - but they can’t bring themself to mind. It may be small, but it’s cosy, and it’s their own.
It doesn't feel like home the way the casino did, but being part of the Agency has made them realise it's not always places that are home - sometimes it's people.
The Agency is their home now. Their family. A group of weirdos (said affectionately, of course, but it’s an undeniable truth), all of whom were either born different or became different. They've been through things no one else has, and they did it together.
Sigma, the ultimate outsider in this world, has found a place they truly belong. That thought warms them to their very core.
Sigma hums to themself as they make breakfast, the combination of thinking about their family and the excitement of their plans for the day lightening their heart and putting a spring in their step. They place the desserts they've prepared into separate containers, then return to their room, placing the containers on the table as they go.
Sigma opens their curtains, allowing the morning light to flood the room, before turning to their small built-in wardrobe. Their eyes scan over the items held within it before fixing on what they were looking for.
A sunny yellow dress, with a square neckline and puffy sleeves.
They pull it out, along with a pair of flesh-coloured tights, and slip into the items. They enjoy the coolness of the fabric against their skin, and indulge themself with a twirl, watching the skirt of the dress fly out around them.
Almost as an afterthought, Sigma pulls their hair into a high ponytail, enjoying the way it swishes down their back, like a waterfall tumbling down over the rocks.
Finally, they stand in front of their full-length mirror. They look healthy, happy - everything they never thought they could achieve with the monsters that exist in the world. The monsters they’ve met.
The monsters that are nowhere to be seen now.
Sigma smiles to themself as they gather up the desserts and slip white flats onto their feet. Their day is only just beginning, after all.
•─────•❀•─────•
Sigma glares at the fruit display with a look that could kill (unfortunately, it’s their thinking face).
They didn’t think picking out snacks would be so hard, but they couldn’t have been more wrong. There were so many things to consider - who would like which items, which brand should they get, how much of each do they need - that their mind was racing.
Sigma glances at their watch and feels their heart rate increase. If they don’t decide soon, they’re going to be late.
They grab several fruits (a mix of berries, a bunch of bananas and a bag of oranges), a couple of different chocolates and a mixed bag of sweets, several bags of crisps, and enough onigiri for everyone. Hopefully everyone will like at least one thing they’ve chosen.
Hopefully Ranpo doesn’t eat it all.
They are quick to check out, and after stuffing the snacks into their bag, Sigma makes their way towards the picnic spot.
Unsurprisingly, Kunikida is already there when they arrive. He has procured enough blankets for the Agency to comfortably fit on, as well as a chair for Dazai.
“Ah, Sigma,” Kunikida greets. “Glad to see you here early. Early is the best kind of being on time,” he says wisely.
Sigma just nods like they know what that means, and begins unpacking the stuff they’ve brought onto the blanket.
Kunikida nods approvingly with each item they retrieve from their bag.
“Thank you for bringing this. I have a feeling this picnic will be important for building morale. We certainly need it after the Decay of the Angels Incident, and my notebook has plenty of details about the importance of morale.”
He keeps talking, but Sigma winces, drifting away from the conversation at the reminder. They might fit in at the Agency in most ways, but there is one large way that they stick out. Their role in the Decay of the Angels, and the incident that the group created.
It’s not that they were on an enemy organisation - they are well aware that many of the Agency and its allies used to be affiliated with unsavoury groups or people.
It’s that they didn’t experience what the Agency did. The whole world turned their backs on them, hated them. They were on national news, and now they can’t go anywhere without being recognised. Without apologies being spouted, without pitying looks from total strangers.
During the time when they were ostracised, their already tight-knit group grew closer than ever.
Of course, Sigma was one of them now. Yet sometimes it felt like they were on the edge. Not intentionally; the Agency would never purposefully exclude them. Part of it will come with more time, they know.
But there will always be a tiny distance that can’t be crossed. That only would’ve been crossed if they were with the Agency during that time.
“Kunikida-san! Sigma-san!” Atsushi’s excited yell jolts them out of their thoughts, and they look up to see him, Kyouka and Kenji arriving, the latter two carrying a basket between them.
It’s like their arrival has opened a floodgate, because the other members aren’t close behind them. Fukuzawa, Yosano and Ranpo arrive together, followed closely by the Tanizaki siblings.
Dazai is the last to arrive. Fashionably late, as per usual.
The sight of her forces Sigma’s heart into her throat. It’s not her outfit, though that’s stunning today - a white blouse, brown wide-legged trousers and her signature bolo tie. It’s her grin as she hobbles over.
The mere sight of her grin makes a matching one spread over Sigma’s face as they wave shyly at her.
She waves back, pausing to lean on her cane and using her entire arm to return the gesture.
Her spark is impossibly bright, yet Sigma finds they would happily gaze into it until they go blind.
•─────•❀•─────•
If Sigma could choose to live in one moment forever, they think they’d pick this one.
Perhaps it's hasty; choosing a moment when they don't know what the future holds. But they're not sure what could be better than this.
The sun is smiling down upon them, its rays warming all the people below it. A slight breeze ruffles their hair playfully, and the grass tickles them as they run their fingers through it whilst they gaze around at the other Agency members.
Kyouka, Kenji and Naomi are sitting in a circle, all making flower crowns from the daisies springing up all around.
Junichiro and Atsushi are sitting slightly to the side, hands intertwined and twin flushes on their faces as they whisper and laugh together.
Fukuzawa and Kunikida are staring out at the park around them, the former sipping on a flask of his favourite green tea.
Sigma's eyes are finally, perhaps inevitably, drawn to Dazai. She's on a chair that Kunikida brought for her (everyone had to team up to force her to sit in it, though - she’s still entirely resistant looking after her bad leg, for reasons that are beyond Sigma), and Yosano and Ranpo are sitting at her feet. The three of them are commenting on passersby - giggling at their outfits, trying to guess their professions or where they're going, or simply saying "smash" at the more attractive ones.
They burst out laughing after each comment, often making the strangers jump or glare at them.
The three of them don't care, and neither does Sigma. Not when they get to hear Dazai laugh - truly, honestly laugh - over and over again.
It's her laugh that makes them want to stay in the moment. It's a soft, tinkling sound, but it may as well be music to their ears.
So Sigma basks in the moment - in the sunlight, in the jovial conversation surrounding them. They pop a strawberry into their mouth as they tilt their head back to allow the sun more access to their face, allowing the tension to drain out of their body.
Of course, being a member of the Agency meant the peace couldn’t last long.
“I want ice cream!” Dazai declares suddenly, getting to her feet in one quick movement. “Sigma-chan! There was an ice-cream stall a ways back. Come with me!” she demands, stretching a hand out towards them.
“It’s not even warm enough for ice cream,” Sigma grumbles as they get to their feet, but they can feel their heart picking up its pace in their chest, entirely contradicting their words.
Dazai takes a couple of shaky steps forwards, clearly attempting to leave her cane behind. Ranpo wraps all of his limbs around her good leg in retaliation, pinning her whilst Yosano grabs her cane and forces it into her hand.
Dazai pouts, but doesn’t fight, and accepts the cane dutifully.
It takes a good couple of seconds for Dazai to be able to maneuver away from the picnic without accidentally squashing anything with her cane or feet, her limited mobility hindering her movements, but she gets out and then the two of them are off.
It’s silent as they walk, but not the comfortable silence Sigma has come to expect from their time spent with Dazai.
It seems charged. An unidentifiable something is hanging in the air between them.
“I can’t believe you’re not eating the dessert I made,” they complain to fill the silence.
“Ah. Yes. Well, there was a little problem in that I couldn’t reach it from the chair,” Dazai chuckles. “I didn’t want to ask,” she tacks on lamely.
Sigma lets out a frustrated sigh. “Well, do ask,” they berate. After a beat, “Why didn’t you help buy things for the picnic?” they ask, trying to keep their tone open and non-judgemental. They had been wondering ever since Ranpo stepped up to help Dazai out.
Dazai scrunches up her nose and sighs. “Well, it’s kind of hard to carry things when you’ve only got one free arm to do the carrying. And I hate the way people treat me when I’m out with my cane. They’re all…pitying.” She says the word with visceral disgust, spitting it out as if it’s poison.
Silence envelops the two of them once again, because Sigma doesn’t know how to reply to that. They keep sneaking sideways glances at Dazai, but her face betrays nothing. A stray strand of her hair is blowing in front of her face, and Sigma is struck by a random urge to tuck it behind her ear.
An urge they follow, for some reason.
Dazai flushes slightly, coming to a sudden halt on the path. Sigma, too, stops, staring up at her.
In this light, her eyes look positively golden - like the sun itself has been plucked from the sky and poured into her irises. The long lashes surrounding them are fluttering frantically, as if their owner is reeling.
As Sigma stares longer, the pink of Dazai’s cheeks steadily darkens. Her gaze flits nervously around, not settling on any one place, but Sigma’s own is fixed on her.
She could be flushing due to the heat. She said she was warm enough to warrant ice cream, one half of Sigma’s brain tells them.
She wasn’t blushing before you tucked her hair behind her ear, the other part returns triumphantly.
Sigma opens their mouth to speak - entire paragraphs, pages and pages, waiting within the shelter of their mind, all about the woman in front of her waiting to be voiced. How much they love her spark, how they adore her everything, how badly they want to be with her. All that comes out is, “I like you. I like you a lot.”
Dazai blinks.
“And I mean that in a like-like way. Not as friends. O-Of course, if you don’t feel the same, we can stay friends, of course we can, but-” Sigma is rambling now, but they can’t seem to stop it.
Until Dazai stops it for them by leaning forwards, crossing the short distance between them and sealing their lips together.
Her lips are warm, soft, moving slowly against their own. It’s Sigma who deepens the kiss, tilting their head to allow Dazai better access.
Dazai’s arms wrap around their waist, pulling them close. Sigma allows their own hands to wander up into her hair. It’s fluffy, and they enjoy burying their fingers into it.
Their noses keep colliding with each other, and the taste of Dazai’s minty lip balm does not combine well with Sigma’s strawberry lip gloss, but that barely registers in their brain.
It doesn’t seem to matter. Not when they’re so close. Not when her lips are on theirs.
Dazai is the first to pull away, and Sigma can’t help the pang of disappointment that wells up within them, despite their lungs’ cries for oxygen.
“I really like you too,” Dazai tells them. She sounds almost shy with the statement, a far cry from what Sigma had expected.
It’s… cute.
In lieu of a response, Sigma beams at her, their entire face lighting up as they reach up and throw their arms around her.
Dazai stumbles slightly from the force, but immediately reciprocates the hug, pressing her face into the crook of Sigma’s neck.
“Let’s go back?” Sigma suggests, pulling away slightly.
“Let’s,” Dazai replies warmly.
The ice cream is forgotten. Neither of them mind in the slightest as their pinky fingers loop together, irrevocably connecting the two of them.