Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As Rachel left the Temple, the guards didn’t say anything or try to stop her. She was still getting used to some of the new freedoms that came with being a Padawan, but she also wondered if they would tell Master Ywin. He had found out about her last venture out of the Temple several months ago, and he could only have learned that from the guards or if he had seen her.

But right now, that wasn’t her chief concern. Thran had given his proposal to the Chancellor all those months ago, and he was finally getting the chance to make his case in front of the Senate and vie for Ambassadorship for the Chiss Ascendency. It was a huge step for him and for the Chiss, and he had worked tirelessly to get here, and she wanted to be there to support him when he made his speech.

Finding her way to the Senate Building, however, proved to be the real challenge. She asked a number of beings where she could find a transport, but it wasn’t until the fourth one that someone spoke Basic, and once she made it to the building, she needed to find where to go, which also proved difficult. The building was nearly as large as the Jedi Temple, and it was overflowing with beings of every kind.

When she finally located an observation deck, she looked around for Thran, but the room was huge. It was like a large dome had been completely filled with seats, only, those seats all looked like black, rounded boats, and they went all the way up the walls, and there were beings of every shape, size, and color filling those seats. She had no way of knowing where Thran was.

No—she did have a way.

She closed her eyes and stretched out to the Force, searching for his familiar presence. Among the noise of all the other minds and emotions that swirled through the room, she knew she would be able to find him. She had gotten better at allowing the chaos to flow into a river and pick out what she needed, and his mind was unique from that of other beings. It calculated and organized, and she knew how he built his walls to keep a calm and stoic demeanor.

There, to her left and a little way up was a seat like all the others, but Thran stood reading a questis, probably looking over his speech a final time. He wore a more traditional tunic like she had seen his father wearing, only Thran’s was mostly black with the hem lined in the Mitth’s maroon color, and sewn into the shoulder was the symbol of the Chiss Ascendency.

Part of her wanted to go up and find him to wish him luck, but, knowing him, he would want these last few minutes to prepare for what was ahead.

He seemed to finish his reading because he looked up and around the vast chamber, clasping his hand and the questis behind his back as he did so. Even from the small distance away that she was, she could see the way he studied the room, and through the Force, she could sense his tension, his wariness, and his resolve.

An Ithorian came up behind her and said something she couldn’t understand, but she moved out of the way so he could sit down in one of the chairs. Apparently observing Senate meetings was commonplace for citizens of Coruscant. This wasn’t the only observation deck, and as she looked around at the others, she saw that they were likewise filling up.

She looked back up towards him briefly before more people began to file into her sitting area. She opted to stand, hoping it would give her a better view of the chamber as a whole while she watched.

A sudden recognition touched her mind followed by a genuine happiness that felt like a warm embrace.

She looked up and saw that Thran had spotted her. While his face held no emotion, she thought his eyes held the hint of a smile. She hadn’t realized that she was still keeping so attuned to his emotions, but she could sense his gratefulness and even noticed that he seemed to relax a bit as she smiled at him.

The chamber dimmed and became noticeably quieter as Chancellor Agoro Wrang’s podium rose from the floor, and Rachel realized that she had never seen him before. In her classes, they had talked about him, but she never thought of asking what he looked like or what species he was or where he was from.

In between trying to keep up with the goings on of the session and trying to get past language barriers, she managed to learn that the Chancellor was once the Senator of Chandrila, which didn’t really help her since she had no idea where that was. But the older man looked human, so the planet’s population must have been primarily human, right? His gray hair shimmered, and while he looked thin, his voice didn’t give any indication that he was frail or showing his age.

While she tried to pay attention to what went on during the session, so much of it didn’t make sense, and there were so many things that were brought up from previous sessions that she couldn’t follow, and new disputes being spoken in different languages, by the time the Chancellor got to Thran, her head was spinning.

She watched his pod lift away from the wall and float into the middle of the room. Even with the distance, she could see him tense and set his jaw, but his eyes found hers as the pod spun around, and she could feel his determination.

“Members of the Senate,” his voice amplified through the chamber. “My name is Mitth’ra’nikuru of the Chiss Ascendency, and I have come to you from the Unknown Regions with a proposition. We seek Ambassadorship with the Republic in hopes that it will create a stronger relation with those who are outside of Chiss Space. We know our presence beyond the Chaos may be intimidating, but we seek to ease the minds of those who are, perhaps, fearful. We do not seek domination or power. We do not look for war. We wish to remain at peace with those around us, and that includes the Republic and its inhabitants. We have, therefore, seen the need to have an ambassador act as a liaison between the Republic and the Ascendency should any troubles arise on either side. I seek to fill that role, and the Chiss Ascendency’s ruling body has accepted this. I now come before you, Chancellor, and before the members of the Senate in hopes of being accepted into this role.”

He took a breath, but he remained tense, his eyes scanning the large room.

Another pod rose from the other side of the chamber.

“What actions have caused the Chiss to become suddenly so interested in the politics of the Republic?” the person asked. He appeared human, but he could have come from any number of planets.

“Nothing has happened in terms of politics,” Thran said. “I merely believe it is time for the Chiss to look outside of our own corner of the galaxy and be a part of it.”

“This has been your own idea then?” the man asked.

Rachel thought she saw Thran glance in her direction. “The initial thought, perhaps, was not,” he said. “But within the Ascendency, my actions have been entirely my own.”

“And your ruling body has accepted this? I thought the Chiss did not like outside interference.”

“The Ascendancy’s view on outsiders remains the same,” Thran responded.

“So you merely like to pick and choose when to involve yourselves in this side of the galaxy?”

Thran’s eyes flashed, and Rachel sensed his frustration, but he didn’t say anything.

“The Chiss involvement on Hoth and in subsequent battles isn’t exactly ancient history,” the other said.

“All of those who were involved in the incidents to which you are referring are dead,” Thran said, coldly. “Chastising those who were not involved is illogical and does not benefit the future on either side.”

“You’re saying we should just let it go?”

“I am saying that neither you nor I were there, and as far as I am aware, no one else in this room was there, nor is anyone in the Chiss Ascendency still alive from that time. We learned our lesson, which is why we retreated to our own region of space. What we should not have done is remained there.” He paused briefly as if to allow the other the chance to contradict him again, but when he didn’t, Thran continued. “Our sequestration, while at first, was a beneficial thing, I believe that we have become too isolated, and I have convinced the ruling body of the Chiss Ascendency likewise that remaining secluded from the galaxy is a flaw and not a strength. I believe that being in touch with those around us lends itself to being better prepared for anything that may happen.”

“You suspect that someone will attack you?” a female alien asked from Rachel’s right, but her pod didn’t detach itself from the wall, so she wasn’t sure who had spoken.

“I do not suspect it,” Thran said. “I expect it.”

The silence that filled the chamber was eerie.

“Do you intend to do any trade?” Another pod detached itself from Rachel’s left, and she saw a large green alien with red insect-like eyes dressed in richly ornamented robes of orange and yellow, and he wore a large headdress. She wished she knew his species name because she knew she wouldn’t forget it.

“Trade will be done on a case-by-case basis,” Thran said. “The Ascendency’s ruling body will make any final decisions regarding such matters.”

There was a muffled clamor as everyone discussed his words, and Thran’s eyes, again, turned to Rachel for a moment. She tried to smile, but she didn’t know if he could see it.

“Unless there are further questions,” Chancellor Wrang’s voice rang out though the chamber, “each system can place their vote, and it will be decided whether to allow Mitth’ra’nikuru to represent the Chiss Ascendency as their Ambassador to the Republic.”

Thran’s pod along with the others returned to their designated spots, and Rachel thought she saw Thran relax.

He had done it. He had made his case in front of the whole Senate, and it was now up to them to decide.

As the session let out, Rachel hoped to find Thran and let him know how well she believed he did, but as she walked down the hall towards the turbolift that would take her up to the level he was on, she found Master Ywin standing with his arms crossed in the middle of the hallway, beings of all sorts moving around his large, unmoving frame.

All her good feelings vanished into guilt as she approached her Master.

“You disappoint me, Padawan,” he said in a neutral tone.

Between the harshness in his eyes and his words, Rachel couldn’t hold his gaze.

“Come,” he said. “The Council has given us a mission, and I think it will do you well to get off planet.”

Rachel followed him as he led the way out of the building.

As the session ended, Thran felt his whole body relax, not realizing how tense he had been. He looked down to where Rachel had been watching the proceedings and saw her turn and leave with the rest of those who had been sitting with her.

He turned to exit as well hoping to find her and ask her thoughts on how it all had gone and to thank her because, while she hadn’t needed to come, having her there had been much more helpful than he had realized.  He passed several beings on his way through the halls, and each one offered a varied array of praise for his speech.

When he was finally able to make his way down to the level Rachel had been on, she wasn’t there. If she had tried to come and find him, they should have met each other. It wouldn’t be like her to leave without saying anything.

But when he tried going towards the building’s main exit, just in case, he found the reason, and it made him stop dead in his tracks. Master Ywin’s hard stare dared him to approach even as Rachel’s eyes pleaded for his forgiveness.

He understood and merely inclined his head toward the Jedi Master, but as Master Ywin turned, Thran acted as if he were going to speak with someone but tried to speak loud enough for Rachel to hear him.

“Thank you,” he said in Cheunh, knowing that only Rachel would understand him.

Two men nearby shot odd looks at him, but he didn’t care. He wanted Rachel to know that he was grateful she had come. Her Master was clearly upset about it, but she had come anyway.

He turned back down the hall and made his way toward the hangar where his personal shuttle was parked. He knew that the time would come to converse more with the other senators, but for now, he wanted to return to the apartment he had been given to rest and think. He thought about getting a more permanent one, but he would wait until his Ambassadorship was completely official before taking that step.

“Where are we going?” Rachel asked when she finally found her voice again.

“Bandomeer,” Master Ywin answered shortly. “There is a growing dispute between some of the farmers and the mining company that has taken up residence, and they have asked for Jedi intervention to reach a peaceful resolution. I have told the Council that this would be perfect for your first mission.”

Bandomeer. She had never heard of the planet, but given the vastness of the galaxy, she wasn’t surprised. She knew there would be many more planets she wouldn’t know and many cultures that she would see. She was going to have to learn how to mediate and give verdicts and offer wisdom and give advice to so many people. It was daunting to think about.

Master Ywin didn’t speak to her the rest of the way to the Temple other than to tell her to prepare for the mission to not last very long and thus pack accordingly. But Rachel still didn’t understand what she was supposed to pack. She had acquired a second set of robes, and she had been given a datapad for her own use, and she always had extra reading material. Other than that, her possessions only included her lightsaber, Thran’s commlink, her Jedi comm, the coat she brought from Earth, and her great-grandfather’s knife. She managed to find a bag and packed the extra robes, the datapad and both comms, and making sure her lightsaber was secure on her belt, she went to meet her Master in the shuttle bay where they would be taking one of the smaller shuttles.

The journey to Bandomeer was quiet. He only spoke to her when he gave her a datacard with information on Bandomeer and its people, and she spent the whole first day reading about the planet’s agricultural community and history and how the mining guild had moved in almost without warning and begun to dig for an ore called ionite. Feuds and fights had started, but the mining guild hadn’t let up which was what led the citizens to reach out to the Jedi.

The second day of their trip, Master Ywin woke her to drill her in what she’d learned, and he seemed satisfied that she had the basics down well enough and told her to start meditating on ways to mediate the situation.

She went back to the sleeping room and tried to meditate, but she had no clue how she was supposed to find answers this way, but she had barely closed her eyes when she heard her commlink chirp. At first she wondered why until she realized it was the Chiss comm.

Thran’s voice came through asking if she was all right.

“I am all right,” she said in Cheunh. She both wanted the practice and didn’t want Master Ywin to know what they were discussing if he happened to overhear.

But Thran caught on to it.

“Ok,” he said. “How are you really feeling?”

Even without being able to study her visually, he could still deduce exactly how she felt from her tone.

“Not well,” she admitted. “I am sorry I could not tell you how well your speech went. You did an…a really good job.” Some words were still a bit too complex to say.

“I’m very grateful you could be there,” he said. “Truly. It helped to have a familiar face and to have your support. It meant a lot. I’m just sorry that you got in trouble for it.”

“I knew that I would. I just did not expect it to come right away.”

“So that means any kind of celebratory dinner would have to wait.” She could hear his smirk.

“It would have to wait regardless,” she responded. “I am not even on Coruscant anymore.”

“Oh?” His surprise was genuine. “Where are you?”

“I am going on my first mission. Some kind of land dispute on Bandomeer.”

“Interesting.”

“Yes. Wait, you said cele.. celebr… what kind of dinner?”

He laughed at her attempts to say the word. “Celebratory. Chancellor Wrang sent me word that I have been accepted as the Chiss Ascendency’s official Ambassador to the Republic.”

She smiled and felt her chest swell. “That is great news, Thran! I am so happy for you!”

“Thank you.”

She knew he was smiling. He had worked very hard to get this position, and he earned and deserved it.

“I wish I could cele… celebratory with you.”

She heard his chuckle. “Celebrate. But yes, I wish you were still here.”

But as Rachel looked over at the door that led to the rest of the ship, she knew she wouldn’t have been allowed to go anywhere even if she were still on Coruscant. Thran must have sensed her hesitation though.

“I realize you may not be able to for some time,” he said, “but I hope that we can in the future. You were the one who started this.”

“I am hoping that I can somehow bring it up with the Council. I do not understand why having a friendship is so harmful. I have read some Jedi histories where great Jedi had outside friendships, and it did not harm them. Sometimes it was what saved them.”

“I hope you’re successful,” he said, his tone turning more serious. “The Syndicure isn’t much different. While they’ve allowed the Ambassadorship, I will have to tread carefully if people start to come looking for an alliance with the Ascendency. And they still are not keen on the fact that I remain in contact with you.”

“They monitor your private communications?”

“Not exactly,” he said tentatively. “They can tell when a transmission is going a long distance, and our transmissions cross half the galaxy. That catches their notice.”

“There is no way around that, I suppose.”

“They don’t, however, know what I do or with whom I speak when I am not in Chiss Space. So coming to Coruscant has its advantages.”

“But for me, it is easier to communicate via comm because the guards notice every time I leave the Temple and that is communicated to my Master or to the Council.”

“It’s difficult, I know,” he admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fighting to make it work. You are my friend, and it has been your friendship that helped me gain this new position.”

“You worked through all of that yourself,” Rachel argued. “I do not know anything about politics. That was all you, and you should be proud of it.”

“When they kicked me out of the Exploration Force, I didn’t know what was next for me. I truly felt lost and angry about it. But you sparked this idea. You bounced ideas around with me. You were a sounding board when I needed it and listened even though you don’t know politics. I wouldn’t have been in that Senate Chamber or gotten through that speech if you hadn’t been there.”

“I think that may be an exaggeration,” she said, feeling her cheeks warm.

“It isn’t. I will admit to being nervous today. But seeing you there—knowing I had your support—it gave me strength.”

Why she felt embarrassed by his words, she didn’t know. Perhaps because she’d never had someone admit something like this before. His honesty and openness were such a stark contrast to all the previous friendships she’d had on Earth. He truly trusted her. It left her lost for words.

“You will always have my support,” she said before she heard an alarm go off near the door and realized that they were likely coming up on where they would be exiting hyperspace.

“I have to go,” she told Thran. “We are nearly there.”

“Very well,” he said. “I hope your mission goes well. I look forward to hearing about it.”

They said their farewells, and Rachel made her way to the cockpit where Master Ywin was sitting in the pilot’s seat. He didn’t say anything as she sat down, and Rachel wasn’t sure if she should speak.

As the ship came out of hyperspace, she saw a planet that didn’t look too dissimilar to Earth. Parts of it were green, and there was a vast ocean that separated landmasses, and there were what looked like mountain ranges on those landmasses.

Master Ywin contacted the surface and was given instructions on where to land. Rachel merely took it all in, not even sure what questions to ask because she wanted to know how to do it all. So she simply observed.

The first person they met on Bandomeer after they landed spoke Basic well enough even though Rachel had a hard time keeping up with her accent, but after that, nearly every being spoke a different language. It sounded like the same language that they were all speaking, but Rachel couldn't understand it at all.

Master Ywin didn’t seem to have any trouble whatsoever with the language and even seemed to speak it himself. However, it wasn’t until they were sitting in a house around a table with what appeared to be a coal miner and a farmer that Master Ywin seemed to notice her lack of understanding.

He did the majority of the talking before he dismissed the two others and turned to Rachel.

“So,” he said, “what is your take on the situation?”

She blinked in surprise. He wanted her insight? She hadn’t understood a single word that had been spoken. She was supposed to have an opinion?

“I…” she stammered. “I honestly don’t know, Master.”

“Do you understand Huttese?”

“Is that what language that is?”

He sighed. “This is another thing you would have learned as a Youngling if you had grown up in the Temple. Huttese is the second most prevalent language in the galaxy. You would have learned it as a second language almost immediately.”

Rachel thought back to her own upbringing. Her mother had been mostly Native Alaskan, and her grandparents had done their best to teach her as much of the language as possible despite her father’s reluctance. In high school, she’d chosen to learn German because that was her father’s heritage, and she thought it would make him happy. She had started to teach herself Latin in preparation for going to college, but college was taken away when her father died. She had now learned Basic and Cheunh and had started to try and understand Wookie speech. What was one more language?

“I’m sorry, Master,” she said, not able to meet his hard stare.

“When we return to Coruscant, you will begin studying it.”

Without waiting for a response, he stood and began to walk towards the door.

“Wait,” Rachel said, standing up as well, causing him to stop. “You aren’t going to tell me what they’re arguing about?”

“The farmers own land that the miners wish to mine,” he said without turning. “It is quite simple, and I told them that we will view the land and deliberate our decision.”

He exited the house, and Rachel quickly followed him. She knew she needed to stay close to him or run the risk of getting lost somewhere without a clue where to go or how to communicate with anyone.

“So where is the land they’re disputing?” Rachel asked.

“About a day’s walk east,” he answered. “Thankfully, we have speeders that can get us there in a fraction of that time.”

He led her down the street and back to the spaceport where they had landed. There, they were able to find a speeder to rent so they could go and observe the land that the residents were arguing over.

The whole ride there, Master Ywin said nothing. He gave no information regarding what she was going to see or what either side was looking for, and she didn’t have the first clue what to ask. She had never been actively involved in something like this before. Master Ywin seemed open to her input, but since he knew she hadn’t understood the conversation that had taken place, did he still want her opinion?

When they reached their destination, there were large vehicles and all kinds of large equipment parked around, and there were miners either walking around or sitting around in groups.

Master Ywin parked the speeder and got out, heading toward a larger man who was walking towards them.

Rachel got out as well, but her attention was pulled in a different direction.

Beyond the parked vehicles, a large, open valley spread out beneath them. It rolled for miles, and Rachel could see that it was entirely made up of fields and farmland. The earth was freshly plowed, and she could almost smell the dirt from where she stood.

“Underneath all that dirt is the ionite these miners are after,” Master Ywin explained, coming up behind her.  “The mining guild has been allowed to dig for it on this planet. But this is also land that has belonged to a prominent family for many generations. Where does a contract end and generational ownership begin?”

Rachel could see the point. If the mining guild had been given free reign, they should be able to mine wherever they found the ore they sought. But this was also an agricultural world that needed to sustain itself how it had for centuries if not millennia.

And in it, she saw her own bias. If the government had so chosen, they could have come and taken her family’s land, but there had been laws put in place years ago that forbade the destruction of Alaska’s wilderness. She didn’t think such laws applied here.

“Have the owners been offered compensation?” she asked hesitantly.

“They have refused it,” he answered. “Vehemently. They refuse to give up the land that they have owned and tilled for generations and watch it be destroyed for a small amount of ore.”

“Is there much ore there?”

“Apparently there is enough to make the whole thing worth the guild’s trouble.”

“And I don’t suppose they are willing to meet in the middle by simply cutting the property in half.”

“That is one avenue I have considered offering. But I do not believe either side will find it desirable.”

“What contract does the guild have, exactly?” Rachel asked. “Are they given completely free reign of the planet?”

“Their contracts are ambiguous enough to the point where it seems that way.”

“It seems rather unfair to the locals who have been here for generations like this family. The miners come in and strip the planet and then leave. How does that help them or help the planet?”

“A good insight, Padawan. Do you have an alternative?”

She thought about it, but the only thing she could think of was to meet them both in the middle. The mining guild gets half, and the farmers get half. Would either be happy about it, probably not, but they would both get what they wanted to an extent, and the planet would not be left in complete shambles.

“Where has the guild mined so far?” she asked.

“Primarily around here on this western continent.” His tone suggested that he was allowing her to reach a decision on her own and only offering information she needed.

“I think they should be restricted to the western half of the planet,” she said looking down at the valley where the family’s farm laid before them. “The farmers get the eastern half.” The valley would be destroyed. “Each gets what they need, and the planet will be allowed to survive.”

He didn’t look at her or tell her whether her judgement was good or bad. He simply stared down at the valley.

“This may have consequences you have not considered,” he finally said. “Mining equipment drills deep, and farmers get angry.”

A thought came to her. “Perhaps the AgriCorps could help them. Jedi presence may offer a sense of peace.”

“Or be seen as a sign of oppression,” Master Ywin said. “But it is a thought to consider.”

He turned. “Come, it is getting late. We will stay aboard the ship tonight and give them our answer tomorrow.”

She walked with him.

Their answer? Had he accepted her thought and turned it into a decision? Just like that?

The implication of it settled over her as they rode back to the ship in silence, watching the planet fly by. She had made a decision that would impact the fate of this whole planet and thousands of lives. She had condemned beautiful landscapes to be mined and was forcing farmers to move to a more confined area. They would hate her for it. Both sides would be unhappy. And she was going to have to live with it.

It rolled over and over in her head all night which made sleep difficult, and when she did drift off, she would hear the laugh she wanted so badly to forget, or she would see the bodies that littered the floor and the anger in Thran’s eyes as he killed them.

The sky was just starting to get lighter when she decided to get up for good and go outside, hoping some fresh air would help.

Their shuttle was docked on the edge of the town, so it was easy for her to exit the shuttle and walk right out of town towards one of the small hills that surrounded it. She hoped that coming out here would help her meditate better and thus help her clear her mind. As usual, it didn’t.

The sun began to rise, and with it, so did the people, and she watched a couple of them moving between the buildings as the sky lit up in brilliant shades of orange and red, bringing light to the town below her, and she wondered if those people would be forced to leave as well. This half of the planet would belong to the miners. Perhaps they would turn it into a town of their own.

She watched one person as they walked down the main road and turn down one of the side roads, wondering how their life was about to change, but then the person disappeared behind one of the buildings into the shadows. It seemed odd, but perhaps they could only access the building from the back. But it became more suspicious when another person came up the same road and disappeared behind the same building. Then a third. Then a fourth. How many were already back there before she watched the first person go back there, she didn’t know.

She stretched out with the Force to sense the minds of the people to get a feeling for their intentions. Was this a normal morning meeting? If so, some of them might be bored or drift off. They might already have their minds set on the day’s tasks ahead of them.

But that wasn’t what she sensed.

There was a secretiveness, an undercurrent of anger, some hesitancy, and a unity. They were planning something. There was a feeling of finality, and then slowly she saw people file out from behind the building and into the street.

She tried to use a sensory enhancement technique to help her see the faces of the people better, but many of them were wearing hats or scarves over their heads so she couldn’t see their faces, and they all wore similar farmers’ clothing, so telling them apart from everyone else that way was out of the question.

Farmers’ clothing. The farmers were planning something? What would they be able to do? What kind of equipment did they have other than normal farming equipment?

She couldn’t guess, but she knew she couldn’t sit by and watch it happen, so she got up and went back to the ship. Master Ywin was awake now, sitting at the small table in the living area drinking a cup of caf.

“Where did you go?” he asked without turning in his seat.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she explained. “So I tried meditating, but it didn’t help either.”

“Perhaps you are not doing it correctly.”

She knew he could be right, but she had always followed Master Xal’s instructions, and she had sought out other means of meditation to see if they would help, but nothing had.

“There was something that I noticed while I was trying to meditate,” she changed the subject. “I think the farmers may be planning something against the mining guild.”

She explained what she saw, and it was several minutes before her Master said anything. He sat there with his eyes unfocused as he sipped at his caf.

“You are sure it was the farmers?” he finally asked.

“They all were wearing farmers’ clothing,” she repeated. “Would the miners wear that?”

“If you wanted to plot against someone you saw as the enemy, would you walk into their town dressed as their enemy or as their friend?”

He had a point. And she hadn’t seen their faces to know who any of them had been.

“During the meeting today,” he said, “I want you outside the house. You won’t be able to understand the conversation anyway. But from there, I expect you to keep an eye out for any possible attack or sabotage. Is that understood?”

She nodded. It seemed straightforward enough.

“What if they have something already in place in the meeting house?”

He studied her. “A good observation. Do you think it would be wise to move the meeting?”

“If we did,” she began, “they would know that we were on to them. We wouldn’t be able to know who they were. But to keep the meeting there would be risky.”

“The risk is mine,” he said, standing up. “I am the one in the room, remember. It is one I will take.”

“But,” he continued, raising a finger pointedly at her, “I expect you to keep your senses sharp for any kind of danger.”

“Yes, Master.”

So far, the meeting was going well. While Rachel kept her eyes on the people that walked through the streets, she kept her senses on their intentions and emotions, even reaching into the room now and then to make sure all was well in there too. Nothing seemed amiss yet.

Unless she had gotten it wrong. Were they waiting until after the meeting? If the ones she had seen that morning didn’t get their way, would they, then, set off whatever trap they had planned?

All the more reason to keep her senses alert.

A young girl, probably in her teens, approached her, and Rachel felt her defenses initially rise, but as she studied the girl’s mind, she felt no inclination that she meant any harm.

“Hello,” Rachel said, hoping the girl spoke Basic.

“Hi,” she said. “You’re one of the Jedi, right?”

“I am,” Rachel answered.

“Is it true that you’re going to help us?”

Rachel felt her stomach tighten into a knot. This girl lived on this side of the planet, and this was the side they were offering to the mining guild. Would this girl understand that as helping bring a peaceful resolution to the situation?

“We are trying to help both sides reach an agreement,” Rachel tried to explain. “I don’t know how happy either one will be, but we hope it will resolve any tension between you.”

She seemed to consider that for a moment, and Rachel felt her eyes drawn towards a man down the street who seemed to be watching them. The girl’s father?

But her senses became suddenly overloaded when behind her, in the house, she felt a burst of anger. She had been keeping her senses so alert for anything that the slightest change might alert her, but this felt like a gunshot going off right next to her ear, and she realized that whatever was going to happen was going to occur inside the house.

Master Ywin! She wasn’t sure if she was able to connect with him yet, but she reached out to warn her Master. All she sensed in return felt like a hand resting on her shoulder and telling her to calm down.

Rachel waited and waited, but nothing seemed to happen. She had half-expected the house to explode, but it didn’t.

Turning her attention back to the individuals on the street, she saw that the girl was gone as well as the man she had noticed, and she could see a change in a few of those who had been walking by or standing on the other side of the street. They were nervous. Something was supposed to happen or was supposed to have happened, and whatever it was, her Master was preventing it from going up in flames.

It was some time before the door to the house opened, and Master Ywin appeared with the members of the two parties behind him and behind them floated a medium-sized metallic case.

Master Ywin spoke loudly in Huttese and brought the case out in front into the middle of the street, sending several people running. It was filled with what looked like mining explosives. Not something the farmers would own. The mining guild had planned on blowing up the building if they didn’t get their way.

Master Ywin shouted something loudly again, and it sounded like he was repeating something he had just said, and slowly, one person walked forward and began to work on the explosives, and Rachel realized that he was disarming them.

Master Ywin spoke again in Huttese, this time in great length. Rachel tried to pay attention, but she couldn’t understand a single word.

When he had finished, he turned to her, and she knew he was done and was motioning for her to go towards the ship, but she didn’t ask any questions until they were on board.

“Your instincts were correct, Padawan,” he said. “The miners were outraged at the verdict and had planned an attack and had planned to blame the farmers.”

“You got them to confess?”

“Every bit of it.”

“How?”

“Let’s just say that fear is useful in controlling the mind.”

Rachel felt her forehead tense.

“You disagree?”

“I’m…not sure,” she began, trying to find the right words. “Aren’t we supposed to not use fear tactics? That sounds like something from the dark side.”

“Would you rather I had allowed the building to explode?”

“No. I just…I don’t know. It doesn’t seem right.”

“There are many avenues that lead to a peaceful resolution, Padawan. They intended to strike out in fear and anger. I used that against them, and we were able to reach a peaceful agreement.”

“What was the agreement?”

“The mining guild shall have the eastern half of the planet, and the farmers shall have the western half of the planet.”

“Isn’t that the opposite of what I said yesterday?”

“It is. But what I deduced is that the miners have already been mining here for quite some time, and they would not be satisfied with staying where they have already been. Therefore, we send them away to a place where they can find new soil, and the family that contacted us initially can keep their land.”

“They were satisfied with this?”

“They were not, but they saw reason.”

And by reason, Rachel presumed he meant that they saw the explosives held in front of their faces.

But what was the alternative? Should Master Ywin have allowed the house to explode? If he had, how many people would have died?

“It was also decided that the Jedi Agricultural Corps will assist in any way they can with relocating the famers from the eastern side of the planet and helping the mined soil to produce again.”

Rachel nodded, still trying to process it all.

“So what’s next,” she asked.

“Now, we write our reports and return to Coruscant.”

“We aren’t going to stay and make sure nothing bad happens?”

“What do you think will happen that we can prevent?”

Rachel felt her jaw tense. “I guess, I don’t know.”

“If you wish, we can remain here one more night to ensure nothing happens. Would that satisfy you?”

She wasn’t sure if he had meant it to sound like a reprimand or not, but the look in his eyes suggested that he did not want to waste his time making sure nothing happened.

“It would,” she said hesitantly. “But you’re in charge, Master.”

He seemed to study her. “We will leave at nightfall.”

He turned and went to his sleeping quarters.

Rachel took her chances and exited the ship, making her way back up the small hill that overlooked the town. If anything were stirring, she should be able to feel it from here.

What she felt was resentment and fear, and she knew that was a dangerous combination. While neither side may do anything today or tomorrow, who knew what they may do down the road. But by then, the Agricultural Corps would be here, and the Jedi would be able to prevent any violence on either side. She hoped.

Chapter Text

After they returned to Coruscant, Master Ywin led a number of lightsaber techniques and mechanics classes for the Younglings while he instructed Rachel to start learning Huttese. She tried to focus on the language, but it was a difficult one. It was harsh and contrasted a lot with the languages she already knew. He drilled her in it every night to make sure she was learning, but every night, she felt like she had learned very little. It was very different from when she had learned Basic and Cheunh with Thran.

It wasn’t long before the Council called Master Ywin and asked him to go somewhere else, but when he came to inform her about it, he told her that he didn’t want her joining him this time, and it left a sting.

Matyus had also gone on some mission with another Knight, and she couldn’t find Ketrin, so she didn’t have anyone she could really talk to in the Temple. She thought about finding Izo, but she didn’t know him well enough, so she decided to go down to the lake level and sat near the water and wait for Thran to answer his comm.

“I was beginning to wonder if you had returned from your mission,” he said when he finally answered.

“A few days ago,” she said in Cheunh, wanting the practice, and she couldn’t help feeling bad about not reaching out sooner. “It went all right, I think.”

“You’re unsure?” his holoimage raised an eyebrow.

“It was just…strange,” she admitted, not able to find a better or easier word to describe it, thinking back to the whole thing. “But then, I have never had to weigh that kind of judgment before.”

“What happened?”

She did her best to explain in Cheunh how she had been the one to come up with the idea of essentially splitting the planet in two, and it had nearly led to an explosive end, but Master Ywin had used fear tactics to make both sides see reason.

“That doesn’t sound very Jedi, in my opinion,” Thran said.

“But what else should he have done?” she asked. “Should he have let the house explode with him inside it? How many other deaths would have occurred or other injuries?”

Thran’s forehead creased in thought. “Be that as it may, I don’t think it was right, even if it did work.”

“I agree,” she shrugged. “I just do not know how I would have handled it.”

“I think you would have found a third way,” he said. “You have a unique insight that others generally seem to lack, and it’s gotten you pretty far.”

“More like gets me into trouble,” she tried to whisper, but Thran heard her.

“Perhaps a bit of both,” he smirked.

“Pretty far into trouble?”

He chuckled. “I suppose at times.”

Rachel looked out across the lake. A group of very young initiates had come down to play on the beach and to swim, and she couldn’t help thinking about her nieces. What would they be doing right now? Did they understand what had happened?

“Is everything ok?” Thran’s voice gently interrupted her thoughts.

“Yeah,” she said, still watching the children. “Just thinking.”

“Your eyes look like they’re a galaxy away.”

She looked down. “They were.”

“You still think about your family.”

“More than I should.”

“What do you mean?”

“Holding on to the past can lead one to the dark side.”

Thran’s forehead creased in confusion. “Explain.”

“When we yearn too much for the past, we can become…resenting of the present, even angry. We may come to hate anyone who was responsible for how the present came to be or how events in the past occurred. It can lead to seeking revenge.”

“You don’t have these feelings?”

“I miss my family. I miss the woods and mountains where I grew up. But I chose to come here with you. I have made peace with that. Am I not allowed to wonder what my family might be doing right now? I do not even know if they are looking for me or if they were told I died.”

Thran nodded. “It’s something I have wondered about as well. No explorations have been scheduled to Earth since I brought you back. We’ve continued exploring the rest of the Second Galaxy, but, to my knowledge, we’re leaving Earth alone for now.”

“Would your explorers even be able to look up my family if they went back?”

“Perhaps. It would be dangerous to meddle too closely, especially given our hasty exit, but I think it could be done. If even such an expedition takes place, I will suggest it.”

“I just want to know that they are safe. In my mind, they are, but I just want to know for sure.”

“I understand.”

They were silent for a moment before Thran changed the subject.

“Are you waiting for your next mission, or do you know when your next one will be?”

“Master Ywin was asked to go somewhere,” Rachel huffed. “And he left without telling me where he was going or what he would be doing or when he would be back. All he told me to do was study Huttese while he was gone.”

“Is that normal for a Master to leave his Padawan behind?”

“I do not know,” she admitted. “But nothing about my training has been normal.”

“That’s true,” he said, but his attention was suddenly drawn elsewhere.

“Ra’chel,” he said hesitantly, “may I call you back shortly? I’m receiving a call via the comm the Senate gave me, and I don’t recognize the code.”

“Ok,” she said, feeling her brows furrow slightly. “I am not going anywhere.”

He nodded and his face vanished as the comm shut off.

Rachel’s gaze drifted back to the children as they splashed in the water, and she smiled. They had no worries. No cares. They were safe and protected. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt that.

She sat up a bit straighter and rested her hands in her lap. She stared down into the water until her eyelids closed. Around her, she could feel the life and energy from the plants and water. It connected to her and to the children and Jedi across the lake from her. The Force gave them all life and it flowed into, through, and around them all. Breathing slowly and deeply, she took it all in and allowed it to fill her, allowed it to wrap itself around her like a protective cocoon, feeling its warmth and security.

If there was one thing she could rely on, it was the Force. Even if she had only been able to sense its presence for a little over a year, it felt like an old friend who had always been there, as comforting as the coat her grandmother had made for her years ago and as secure as a mother’s arms. Yet it was strong. She felt its strength as it renewed hers, restoring her muscles and rejuvenating her mind with every breath.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, but the pinging from her comm startled her out of the meditation, and when she looked across the lake, the children were gone.

“Thran?” she answered the comm, bringing his holoimage up.

“I am sorry,” he said, an undercurrent of energy beneath his voice. Evidently the call he had taken had been in Basic because he had continued. “The call lasted longer than I had anticipated.

“It’s ok,” she said, studying his face. “Is everything all right?”

“Someone from the Rattatak System has reached out to me,” he said. There was a hint of excitement. “They are creating a government for themselves and would like to set up an alliance with the Ascendency and have asked to set up a meeting and discuss what such an alliance would look like.”

“I take it you’ve already set up the meeting?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said, but from his tone and eyes, she could see there was more.

“What do you need?” she asked.

His face tightened slightly. “Your help,” he said. “I know that I ought to ask the Jedi Council for help, but since I am merely an Ambassador and not a Senator, I do not know if I can do so.”

Rachel thought about it. The Jedi acted as mediators in these kinds of scenarios all the time. She didn’t know what kind of status the people needed in order to ask for their help. And to go on a mission like this without the official sanction of the Senate, the Council, or even her Master seemed a bit risky.

“I realize that in asking this, I put you in a difficult position,” Thran continued. “However, I believe that having a Jedi there will hopefully keep some peace between our two parties.”

“Even though I’m just a Padawan?”

“I think that is where your age may give you an advantage,” Thran said. “While most Jedi Padawans are young, you are the age of a Jedi Knight.”

“So, you want me to lie as well?”

“I do not think they will ask for your rank in the Jedi Order,” Thran responded. “And we can say that you are my bodyguard, if that will work better.”

Another lie.

“I’m not sure.”

“I understand your hesitation,” Thran said. “I know I am asking a great deal from you.”

She looked into his eyes. His expression was tense but hopeful. He was clearly excited at the prospect of gaining an ally for the Ascendency even though others may not recognize the small hints of emotion through his stoicism.

She was torn. She wanted to help her friend, but could she go against the Jedi?

And yet, didn’t it say in the Code that the Jedi were called upon to help? And Thran was asking for help, albeit not through the Council’s normal channels, but who was she or the Council or any Jedi to deny someone if they asked for assistance like this just because they didn’t go through proper channels?

“All right,” she said. “I’ll help you.”

A genuine smile broke across his face. “I will prepare to leave immediately then.”

“Let me grab a bag first, if I may,” Rachel said.

“Yes,” Thran said. His mind was clearly ahead of the present moment. “Shall I wait for you at the Senate hanger or Jedi hangar?”

It was a good question. If she left the Temple on foot, she could be going anywhere on the planet. If she left from the Temple hangar, they would know she was leaving the planet with someone and without consent from the Council.

Did she have time to tell the Council what she was doing, or at least tell Master Zev or Master Xal? Perhaps, but she had left her Jedi commlink in her room, and as much of a joke as she liked to make of it, she really didn’t have anything to pack into a bag. She had her lightsaber hanging from her belt, and she was wearing freshly cleaned robes. What else did she need?

“I’ll meet you at the Senate hanger,” she said.

The shuttle ride to Rattatak was oddly quiet. Thran spoke very little, which was a bit unusual for him, especially given his earlier excitement about the mission. He did make two holocalls, one sounded like it was in Cheunh, but Rachel had let him have his privacy and did try to study Huttese like Master Ywin wanted her to, but she grew restless.

He had offered the single bedroom to her, but she had stayed in the main lounge area. His shuttle didn’t seem like it was really meant for two people, but it was doable. There was only the one sleeping room, and the refresher was next to it, and that made up one whole side of the ship, the other side consisted of the lounge with its single couch and table, and cabinets that lined the wall until the exit ramp. The back of the ship was where storage was kept and the engine room was, and the cockpit was all the way forward and barely allowed for the two chairs inside it. But it was all Thran. Bare minimum, maximum efficiency, and only a touch of comfort.

She was practicing her lightsaber forms in the lounge area when Thran came in and sat down. He had had a questis in his hand, but as she tried to focus on the techniques, she could feel him watching her. She closed her eyes, felt the Force surrounding her, and blocked out the distraction. She moved through the forms and stances, swinging her lightsaber in fluid motions. As she felt herself gain more confidence, she sped up the movements, gracefully changing stances as she felt one with the lightsaber in her hand. Her speed again quickened, and she could feel herself moving through the form as though it was a natural part of her. She wanted this to become second nature. She wanted each movement to become muscle memory. Her heart was racing, and she felt the sweat starting to fall from her forehead, but she knew that she could keep going.

She switched forms, shifting from the simple movements of form one to the defensive movements of form three, her lightsaber merely an extension of herself. Again, increasing the speed of her movements, she wanted to be able to drop into these motions without thought or hesitation.

When she finally stopped and opened her eyes, she was breathing hard. She deactivated her lightsaber and felt her heart beating fast against her chest as sweat dripped down her face and ran down her back.

She looked over and saw that Thran was still watching her with studying eyes. She tried to ignore it but couldn't help feeling slightly embarrassed. She didn’t know why though. The Masters watched her practice all the time. Why should Thran watching be any different?

“Your form is quite graceful,” Thran remarked.

Despite already being warm from the exertion of the exercise, she felt her cheeks warm as she looked away.

She was saved by the beeping that came from the cockpit, indicating that they were coming up on their destination.

Thran got up and walked to the cockpit and sat in the pilot’s chair. Rachel hung back a few moments to wipe the sweat from her face and let her heart resume a normal rhythm.

The ship dropped out of hyperspace just as Rachel sat down in the co-pilot’s chair, and a few moments later, a raspy voice came over the comm.

“State your identity and business.”

“My name is Ambassador Mitth’ra’nikuru,” Thran said. “I am here to meet with Governor Kazor Venin. We have a meeting arranged.”

“Do you have proof of that?” the voice asked.

“Would you like to ask the Governor yourself?”

There was a short silence. “Very well. Permission to land granted. Follow the indicated vector and land in the main hangar, and someone will meet you.”

The comm clicked.

“He sounded friendly,” Rachel said.

“I am sure he is simply performing his duties,” Thran said passively as he moved the ship onto the vector they had been given.

It wound up being more of a landing pad than an actual hanger, but it was still full of ships of all shapes, sizes and colors, and Thran landed the ship where he was indicated to do so. As the shuttle landed, Rachel saw one person near the edge of the landing pad.

“That must be who was sent for us,” she commented, pointing out the window.

“Perhaps,” he said as the ship set down with a small thud, and he began shutting down all the systems. “Let us go and find out.”

As they exited the ship, they found out that the person wasn’t so much of a greeter as she was someone who was there to give them directions. Her icy white eyes looked them both up and down before pointing out the way to the Governor’s Building, and Rachel couldn’t help the uneasiness that settled over her as they walked into and through the small city.

There were very few people walking around, and those who were looked as though they didn’t want to be caught outside for too long. Most dodged her eyes, but there were some who met her gaze head on with glares of suspicion.

“Where do you suppose everyone is?” she asked Thran, trying to see if he picked up on any of it.

“Considering the time of day,” he said. “It is entirely possible that everyone is working.”

She glanced at him, but she saw he was tense. She considered his explanation, but she couldn’t shake the bad feeling she had about the whole thing and wondered if he was trying to convince himself.

She continued to look around the square leading up to the Governor’s Building, and something definitely felt off. There were fewer and fewer people the closer they came, and as she reached out for the Force, it felt like there were holes all around the building. She couldn’t see clearly into some places, and the minds of some people were completely unreadable. She watched the guards that flanked the doors going into the building. They didn’t have any sense of hostility, but that didn’t always mean anything.

“Ra’chel,” Than’s voice cut into her focus, “relax. It will be all right. We are merely here to talk with them.”

“Something doesn’t feel right,” she whispered earnestly as they got closer to the door. “I don’t trust it.”

Thran looked at her, his red eyes studying hers as his jaw tensed. “I trust your feelings,” he said softly. “But we are here to talk with them. I will try to keep my guard up while also keeping an open mind.”

Rachel wasn’t sure the two were entirely compatible, but they were too close to the guards at this point, and she didn’t want to argue in front of them.

They were escorted inside, and the Governor came to meet them. He was large for a Rattataki, and silver and gold chains and jewels hung from both ears, and he had a small, jeweled nose ring piercing. She wasn’t sure if the metallic rings that wrapped around his head in an almost crown were more piercings, implants, or were removable, and she didn’t want to find out. Dark gray circles ringed his ice-white eyes, and what looked like black cuts sliced across each of his cheeks.

“Welcome,” he said in a loud, deep, raspy voice. “Welcome to Rattatak! I am Governor Kazor Venin. I am glad we were able to set this meeting.”

“As am I,” Thran said evenly, inclining his head. “I am Ambassador Mitth’ra’nikuru of the Chiss Ascendency. And this is Ra’chel,” he gestured to her, “my bodyguard.”

She hadn’t been entirely comfortable with the bluff they had set up, but it would be better for them if she did not reveal that she was a Jedi.

“Excellent,” Governor Venin said, his sunken white eyes sizing her up. “Come. We will talk in the main conference room.”

They walked down the hallway, and two guards fell into step behind Thran and Rachel, and she still could not shake the uneasy feeling that grew with each step they took.

As they came up to a door that opened, a guard came out carrying a metal box, and the Governor turned back to them. “I must ask that you place any and all weapons in this box,” he said, gesturing to the box. “For all of our safety.”

Rachel’s entire body tensed as she felt the Force warning her, but she could not do anything about it. This was Thran’s mission. He was the one who should be making the calls.

Thran turned to her and nodded. He took his charric from his belt and placed it in the box. Rachel had told him he should carry more weapons than that in order to protect himself, but he hadn’t listened.

With a deep breath, she pulled her lightsaber out from its concealed place under her robes behind her back.

“A Jedi,” the Governor said with some amusement and sarcastic awe. “You insult me, Ambassador. We have no need for mediation at this meeting.”

“Ra’chel is merely here as a bodyguard,” Thran assured him. “She is not here to mediate. However, I do ask that she is in the room with us when we negotiate.”

The Governor stared at Rachel, his gaze making her uneasy, but she tried not to let it show.

“Very well,” he said. “But first…” he gestured to the box, indicating that she put the lightsaber into it.

Rachel gripped the lightsaber in her hand, feeling its weight, sensing the crystal inside it. It was as much a part of her as her own hand. As a Jedi, she was not supposed to ever willingly part with it.

Thran shifted next to her, and she felt his eyes on her. She stepped forward and carefully placed her lightsaber into the box next to Thran’s charric. When she glanced back at Thran, she could see the apology in his eyes.

“Excellent,” Governor Venin said, his voice was no longer the boisterous greeting tone but was more businesslike and even cold. “Let us continue then.”

He led them into a plain room, and Rachel watched out of the corner of her eye as the guard holding the box placed it on the ground opposite the door before taking a flanking position to the door. The conference room they entered had one medium-sized table surrounded by chairs. There was nothing hanging on the walls, and the one wall across from them that had windows had shades pulled down over them. Very little light came from light-rods lining the ceiling.

Thran and Rachel sat on one side of the table that was nearer to the door, and the Governor sat adjacent to them, still near the door. Rachel was a bit surprised he didn’t go to the other side of the table, but she also wasn’t entirely familiar with the customs of the people on this world. If they had any customs. They were only just forming their new government. Perhaps he preferred to be nearer to those with whom he spoke.

Rachel sat back as Thran began speaking with the Governor, asking him about how his new governorship was going and how setting up the new government would look, but she felt a sudden warning from the Force.

She kept her face neutral and reached out with the Force to scan the room and the rooms surrounding them, but the wall across the room from them was invisible to her—like a void in the Force. She could feel nothing beyond it, and the wall itself seemed to waver as she watched it from the corner of her eye, and she didn’t like that it was to her back.

The guards in the hallway were tense as if waiting to strike at something.

“So,” Governor Venin said, “I have told you about my government, tell me about yours. How do the Chiss operate? Hm? Do you have a strong military? How far does your Navy reach?”

“I do not believe that I am at liberty to discuss such details,” Thran side-stepped the question. “However, if you wish to discuss what we may offer you in support as you form your new government, I would be happy to do so.”

“Hm,” he mumbled. “So you merely want all of our information without giving any of your own?”

“For one,” Thran said pointedly, “our military has little to do with how we govern. Second, our government operates very differently from any government I have ever come into contact with, and as such, I do not believe it will be helpful for you to hear how it works. We do, however, wish to help in forming your government as best we can and as we are able if you are willing.”

Rachel saw Governor Venin sit back in his chair, making a very subtle movement of his hand on the armrest as he did so, but it was enough to set off a warning alarm through the Force so loud, that Rachel acted almost without thinking.

She reached outside the room to where she could feel her lightsaber and gripped it with the Force, lifting it up and calling it to her hand even as the doors opened, and the two guards came in with raised blasters.

The lightsaber ignited the moment it reached her hand, and she jumped between the guards and Thran, blocking their blaster fire from hitting him even as he stood up and took a defensive stance of his own.

Rachel grabbed the blasters with the force, pulling them towards her, and Thran rushed at the guard on the right, while she pushed the other into the wall.

She had barely any warning before an electric shock hit her square in the back, sending her to the floor. She swung her lightsaber around to try and catch the next volley of it, seeing that where there had once been a wall, there was now an open room filled with six guards. As she tried to process this, she heard a stun bolt come from behind her, and she expected to black out, but when she turned around, she saw Thran fall unconscious.

“No,” she shouted, trying reach for him, but another stun blast hit her from behind, and everything went black.

Rachel slowly opened her eyes. Her body felt weak and tired. But more than that, she had a very odd sense…

No, a lack of sense.

She tried to reach out with the Force or even feel the Force’s presence.

She couldn’t.

She couldn’t feel anything.

Her heart raced as she sat up, feeling the ache that the electric shocks had left behind. She was in a small cage, sitting on a metal bed, which sat not quite in the center of it. It was encased in bars, and the floor was made of transparisteel. She looked down to see what it was floating over and immediately regretted it. Below was a dark ravine, the bottom of which she could not see.

Nearby, she saw another cage with someone lying on a bed just like she had.

The person in the other cage stirred, and she could see that it was Thran. She wanted to reach out to him with the Force to make sure he was ok, but she felt nothing. She attempted to call out to him, but her voice gave out.

“Thran!” she tried again. She stood and reached out for the bars of the cage. “Thran! AH!” She jerked her hand back from the bars.

There was an energy field protecting the cage and evidently preventing her from touching the side of it.

“Well, well, well,” she heard a sultry male voice come from somewhere above her. “Look who woke up.”

Rachel looked around for whomever was speaking, but she didn’t see anyone.

“Oh, you won’t find me,” the voice said. “But I can hear you, see you, and control everything that happens to you.”

She stopped looking for the speaker and turned her attention to Thran who had also sat up now and was facing away from her.

“Thran!” she called out to him. But he didn’t react.

“He can’t hear you,” the voice said. “Another fun feature. They are sound proofed by the forcefields surrounding them. Oh!” His voice took on the tone of a child showing off a favorite toy. “And my favorite part of all is that it works perfectly on people like you.”

She turned her head to the side, wondering what that meant. People like her?

“I see you are confused,” the voice said mockingly. “You see, you are not the first Jedi we have encountered. And so, we have perfected the ability to make Jedi blind to the Force.”

Again, Rachel felt her heart rate spike. This cage was preventing her from feeling the Force. She looked over at Thran again. He was looking around his own cage.

She couldn’t reach out to him with her words or with the Force…

He stood and spotted her. He took a step toward the edge of the cage, but Rachel motioned for him to stop.

Too late.

He grabbed the bars just like she had, and he hit the force shield. He looked up and around the cage before looking back at her, and she could see his mouth moving. She pointed at her ear and shook her head. He looked again at the cage before looking back at her with a mixture of resolution, understanding, and sadness in his eyes.

“Now that you are both awake,” the voice came back over whatever speaker it was using, and Rachel could see that Thran heard it too. “You are going to give me the information which we seek.”

Rachel saw Thran’s lips moving in response, but she couldn’t hear him.

“We need the information we asked you for when you came here, Chiss,” it must have been answering a question. “You will tell us about your Ascendency. Where are your Navy vessels located? How large is your Navy? The inner workings of the Chiss military. Things of that nature.”

Rachel again looked over at Thran. His mouth remained shut in a thin line for a while before he said something.

“Perhaps your friend here knows something more useful then,” the voice said. Thran looked at her.

“What would I know?” Rachel said. It was against her nature to lie, but she would rather die than give away any secret she knew about Thran’s people.

“I think you know more than the average outsider…” the voice said menacingly. “And I believe that your Chiss wouldn’t want you to suffer, now, would he?”

“I’m merely his bodyguard,” Rachel again lied. “What would I mean to him?”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Thran look away from her. Could he hear her?

“We shall see.”

Abruptly, the cage moved from under her, causing her to lose her balance and catch herself against the cage’s wall, causing a surge of the electric jolt to shoot through her hand and up her arm.

The cage was moved around Thran’s and brought to rest on a ledge. Three large, strongly built Rattataki walked down the ledge, all wearing armor and carrying strange looking weapons in their hands.

She looked back around to Thran who was standing with his fists clenched, anger flashing in his glowing eyes. She saw him say something up towards the top of his cage.

She heard her own cage open as the guards entered it, each brandishing their weapons. She stumbled into the bed in an attempt to move away from them. The weapons were long and black, resembling a kind of club, but the ends of them had four points jutting straight out.

They maneuvered her into the middle of the cage so that she was surrounded. She instinctively dropped into a defensive position. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Thran say something, but his eyes were on her—a mix of pain and anger.

“Begin,” the voice said.

Rachel was prepared and yet not prepared for the assault that came at her from all sides. She knew that if she had the Force, she would have been better equipped. She blocked the two clubs that came at her shoulder and hip from the front and side, but from behind her, the club bashed straight into her left knee. It cracked as she fell to the ground. She tried to block the clubs as they continued to strike into her back and side, but she couldn’t keep up. They hit her over and over, and she wound up lying on the ground covering her head with her arms, curling up into as small a target as she could, but her left leg was too painful to move. She gritted her teeth against the pain, and her whole body went rigid as she tried not to cry out.

“Enough,” the voice said calmly, and the beatings ceased, but Rachel still laid there, unable to move.

“Are you ready to talk now?” the voice said in a mocking tone. But Rachel clenched her jaw. It would take far more than that to get her to say anything.

“What about your Chiss friend?” the voice cooed.  “Do you think he is ready to talk?”

Rachel looked over to Thran, but the muscles required to move screamed at her. She caught only a glimpse of his face, but it was enough. The last time she had seen him this angry, he had killed an entire facility’s worth of people.

She tried to shake her head to tell him not to speak, but everything hurt. More than just her knee was cracked, she could feel it.

Without warning, she felt herself lifted from the floor, and an involuntary cry escaped her mouth as they slammed her onto the bed in a sitting position, two of the guards going around the other side to hold her back while the third pointed his club at her, the four points threatening to stab her, but instead of stabbing her, an electric charge shot out of the end, sending waves of electricity coursing through her body.

As the convulsions wrecked her body, she couldn’t stop the screams.

“That’s right,” she barely heard the voice. “Scream. He’s loving every second of it.”

Volt after volt coursed through her as she looked over at Thran through squinted eyes. His face was still contorted with pain and anger, his jaw clenched and rigid.

It was all she could do to keep herself from screaming. She didn’t want him to listen to her pain.

But if he could hear her screaming, that meant—

As the electricity finally stopped, she looked straight at Thran. “You stay quiet.”

She knew he heard her from the way his face changed. His mouth opened slightly, and the anger in his eyes shifted to disbelief and then to compassion before there was a sharp pain to the side of her head, and the entire cell went black.

Thran watched helplessly as the three armored guards beat Rachel. His blood boiled, and his body was tense with anger. He could hear her screaming out with pain, and there was absolutely nothing he could do… He hated this feeling. It was like sitting in that room on Earth all over again. Watching that awful man torture her for information she didn’t possess. Only now, she did know more. She knew much more.

When they stopped electrocuting her, he could see a different resolve come over her face.

“You stay quiet,” he heard her voice come over the speaker. His anger melted at the sound of her voice. Her strength and determination were unshaken by the pain. All he could do was stare at her.

Until one of the guards swung his club around, hitting her on the side of the head. He could tell right away that she was unconscious as she slumped sideways onto the bed, but he watched her body for several long moments to make absolutely certain that she was still breathing.

“So,” the voice came over the speaker above him. “You are willing to let this human endure pain to hide your secrets, Chiss?”

He remained silent.

“Why?” the voice asked. “She doesn’t need to suffer this punishment. You can end it at any time. All you need to do is tell me…Where is the Chiss Navy?”

Thran sat down on the bed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands folded together against his chin. He would not give this voice the satisfaction of thinking he would win.

“So be it, Chiss.”

Rachel opened her eyes and tried to roll to her side and instantly regretted it. Her hands tingled as though the nerves were the frayed ends of a rope. Her arms shook, her head throbbed, and there was a sharp pain in her side every time she tried to take a breath. There was no feeling in her left leg below her knee.

She sat up, despite the pain, but her arms shook under her weight. She didn’t want to move her broken knee, but it wasn’t lying in the best position as it was.

She looked over to Thran and saw him sitting on the bed of his cage. He seemed to have noticed her movement and turned to look at her. His glowing eyes held a sadness in them.

“Ah,” the voice came again. “She’s finally awake. Clearly my guards hit you harder than intended. Or you have a…weak skull. I believe we are ready to resume.”

The three guards strode down the ledge again towards Rachel’s cage, only this time, they didn’t carry the weapons they had had earlier. She couldn't stand up. Her leg prevented her from doing much of anything.

As they entered her cage, she felt a keen sense that this was going to be worse than the last time.

One of the guards brought out a knife and went to her left side, one went to the right side of the bed, coming up to her head, and the third went to the left side of the bed, yet stayed near her injured knee. The one with the knife looked at the other two and nodded.

The pain made it impossible to fight against them as the one on her right grabbed hold of her left arm and pulled it, twisting her upper body around, while at the same time, the other guard grabbed hold of her broken left leg by the ankle and twisted it to the left making her want to arch her body backwards to ease the excruciating pain, but she felt the piercing tip of the knife as it dug into her back.

Her scream echoed off the shielded cage as she tried to writhe away from the agony. She couldn’t move to her right without pulling on her knee, and she couldn’t move back without pushing into the knife, and pushing herself up off the table pulled on her shoulder so much that she thought it would come out of its joint.

Her eyes were closed to the pain, but she squinted them open to look at Thran. He could still hear her, and she knew she could use that to her advantage.

“Close your eyes!” Rachel yelled through the anguish. “Thran—” she moved too far back and felt the knife sink further into her skin. Her teeth held back a scream. “Stay…silent!”

The guard holding her leg twisted it further, and she screamed in a way she had never screamed before. It felt like her leg was being torn off at the joint. To ease the pain meant to drive the knife further into her back, but what choice did she have?

Her vision became blurry with tears as she leaned back into the cold blade. She cried out, hoping that Thran had listened to her and closed his eyes.

The guard holding her arm gave a sudden and violent yank, and she both felt and heard a horrid popping sound as the joint came out, and what was worse, the action caused the blade of the knife to come out of her back and then be driven right back in.

She screamed again, feeling the hoarseness in her throat like sandpaper.

“Stay…silent!”

She couldn’t see him—dared not to even turn her head. But even as she thought that maybe they had finished with their torment, she felt the knife slowly begin to twist in her back. The slowness of it only made it worse, and she felt herself slowly go limp as she lost consciousness from the pain.

Thran Couldn't heed Rachel’s words. He tried to close his eyes against her torment, against her agony, but her screams made him want to run to her side. He wanted to slaughter each guard in that cage without mercy.

“Now,” the voice said. “Tell me, Chiss. Where is your Navy located?”

Thran looked at Rachel as they twisted her leg in a gruesome fashion, nearly ripping it off at the knee. Her scream was unbearable.

“I will tell you nothing,” Thran said though gritted teeth.

Rachel pressed her back into the knife with a cry, and he could see tears falling from her eyes. His chest ached, and his whole body was rigid.

“I can end her torment with one word,” the voice said soothingly. “She is suffering needlessly. And for what?”

Her arm was suddenly and violently yanked upwards, and even over the speaker, Thran could hear the dislocation.

“I can stop this, Chiss. Just tell me…Where is your Navy?”

“Stay…silent!” Rachel’s hoarse voice came over the speaker, and Thran felt his heart break in his chest.

He closed his eyes. In the midst of all that pain—all that torment—she was thinking about him and protecting his people. A tightness gripped his throat, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to speak even if he wanted to. When he opened his eyes, he saw Rachel lying limp on the bed, and he fought to catch his breath, watching for her chest’s rising and falling, needing to know that she was still alive, and relief washed over him when he saw her breathing. Her face was still contorted in pain, but she was alive.

“Such a pity,” the voice said. “Such a waste. Such needless suffering for a people that cares nothing for her.”

Thran’s anger threatened to overpower him again. He wanted, with every fiber of his being, to lash out at this voice—to tell it how much Rachel was valued and cared about. But to do so would bring further harm to her. Perhaps even death. And he would never risk her life.

“Does her life mean so little to you that you let her suffer this way?”

His blood boiled, and he made himself sit down on his bed and close himself off. He could not let the voice get to him.

“Come now,” it said. “All you need to do to end her suffering is tell me—”

“I have nothing to say to you,” Thran said firmly, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

There was a noise from the speaker and something that sounded like laser fire, but then there was silence.

Thran looked up and over to Rachel, a sudden sick feeling in his stomach. Had they—?

No. Rachel was still lying there, though blood was beginning to pool behind her.

There was a sudden explosion behind him, and the door he’d seen the guards enter the cavern blew open, causing him to stand. Rocks and debris flew everywhere, and he wasn’t sure if this was more of their tricks to make him talk, but there, standing with charrics firing were several Chiss warriors.

They made quick work of the three guards who had just come out of Rachel’s cage, and two of the warriors instantly went over to it and began working to open it. One found the terminal that moved Thran’s cage to the ledge, and they opened it. He thanked them quickly before going immediately to Rachel.

“She needs medical attention immediately,” Thran told him, without taking his eyes off her.

“She’s in very bad shape,” the warrior said. “I’m not certain if she will survive that long.”

Thran’s chest tightened, and he gritted his teeth as he looked up at the warrior. “She has to.”

The warrior looked at him and must have seen the pleading in his eyes. “We’ll do our best.”

The warrior lifted Rachel’s body, and she gave a low moan.

As they walked through the building, Thran noted that every single Rattataki they passed was dead. Not a single one was left alive, and he found that he felt both relieved and yet angered by it. While they deserved a gruesome death for what they had done, he had wanted to be the one to give it to them.

Chapter Text

The room Rachel woke up in was dimly lit with blue lights. She slowly took in her surroundings, but the very first thing she noticed was that she could feel again. The Force was back. It was surrounding her and moving through her mind. She felt it wrap itself around her like a warm blanket, but as she went to take a deep meditative breath, a sharp pain stabbed her back and sides, cutting her breath short with a wince.

She tried to relax her body, but she began to feel every bruise, fracture, laceration, and tear. Her knee was shattered, her shoulder was torn, her head throbbed, she had several fractures all over her body, and in her back was a deep gash, which had been the main cause of her wincing.

Her anxiety rose as she had the sudden feeling of claustrophobia. Around her body, metallic rings circled around her like a snake, and her only thought was that of a python squeezing its victim. She tried to fight it, but every movement shot pain through her body, and she heard an alarm go off nearby.

Her mind began to race as she heard unfamiliar words in a language she thought she could almost understand. She began to panic, remembering where she and Thran had been, remembering the cage and the Rattataki that had taken them. Surely they had seen that the methods of torture were not working and were now resorting to other measures.

She began to fight against the restraining grip of the rings that gripped her, fighting through the pain it caused.

A woman’s voice spoke nearby, and she thought it was in a different language, but she couldn’t be sure. It wasn’t rough like the beings she remembered but neither was the voice that had come through the speaker.

“You are safe, Ra’chel. It is all right.”

“Thran?” Rachel turned her head, the movement sending a searing jolt of pain down her spine.

“You are safe here,” he had stood up from a medical bed and was coming to her side. Next to him, was a middle-aged Chiss woman who had turned to her and was walking quickly toward them. She was the one who had spoken.

She spoke again in a language she thought she knew, but her brain wasn’t letting her comprehend.

Thran responded, and she caught the word ‘Basic’, but the other didn’t seem to know it.

“She says that you need to relax,” Thran translated, taking hold of her hand.

“What is this thing?” Rachel said, trying to gesture to the metal snake coiling around her body.

“They are biosensor rings,” Thran explained, his voice calm. “They are monitoring your vital signs and helping to encourage your body to heal itself.”

Rachel closed her eyes, trying to force her body to relax, but it wouldn’t. Everything hurt. No matter which way she tried to rest her body, something hurt. Thran’s grip on her hand tightened, and she tried to focus on that.

“Good,” she heard the woman say.

Rachel opened her eyes and looked at her. She had understood her.

The woman tilted her head. “Does she understand Cheunh?”

The question was meant for Thran, but Rachel nodded.

“I taught her some,” Thran answered.

“Yet she did not understand before now?” she said.

“Perhaps, given her mind’s heightened state of panic, she wasn’t able to comprehend it as clearly,” Thran offered.

“Perhaps,” the woman seemed to agree.

“I am sorry,” Rachel tried to say in their language, but her mouth was so dry that she knew she couldn’t properly form the words.

They both smirked, but Thran seemed to understand what she was trying to say.

“It’s all right, Ra’chel. Right now, you need rest so that your body may heal.”

“It will take time,” the woman said. “Your body sustained quite a bit of damage.”

Rachel’s stomach tightened. She knew the Council wouldn’t like this. They had likely noticed her absence by now, but for her to remain away even longer so that she could heal, or worse, come back injured—she wasn’t sure what the outcome would be.

And what would Master Ywin say?

Thran was studying her face. There were times like this when she wondered if he could read her thoughts.

“Are you all right?” Rachel asked, hoping to divert his attention.

She heard him give a small laugh. “You lie on a medical bed, and you ask if I am all right?”

The woman turned to Thran. “You both should be lying on medical beds,” she said in a chiding way. “You need to rest too.”

“I’m feeling fine,” Thran said. “I received minimal injuries.”

“Then resting should be easy for you,” she retorted.

Thran seemed like he was going to argue the point further but turned and walked back to his medical bed.

“You should sleep now,” she said turning back to Rachel. “It will make the healing process go faster.”

Rachel nodded, trying to take in the woman’s face more clearly. She was definitely older, but she had a strength in her that the years hadn’t taken away. She wore her hair back in a short ponytail, but she could see that throughout the day, some of her hair must have worked its way free, mostly the strands that were beginning to turn gray. Even though her features were sharp, her eyes held kindness.

As she closed her eyes, she tried to recall any Jedi healing techniques she could, but all she could see was a cage surrounding her, so she opened them again.

Thran was restless on his own bed. His lightheartedness had vanished, and she could sense his thoughts rolling over themselves causing different emotions to swirl around him: regret, anger, and guilt.

“It’s all right, Thran,” she said before she could stop herself.

The guilt in him rose higher. “It is not all right,” he said, his voice soft but tense.

“You couldn’t have known this would be the outcome.”

“I prepared for exactly this outcome,” his voice became sharp. “I prepared in advance that, should we not check in within a standard twenty-four hours, we were to be presumed captured or otherwise imprisoned, and that force may be necessary to extract us. I knew it was a likely outcome.”

She could sense his frustration and guilt rising with each sentence. “You couldn’t have known what they would do though.”

“Your own people were willing to torture you for information you did not possess,” he said quietly. “What was to prevent these people from torturing us for information that we do possess?”

Rachel couldn’t think of anything to counter his logic. So they remained silent for a while, and she could again sense his emotions swirling around him.

“But we didn’t give them any information,” Rachel said into the silence. “That has to count for something.”

He remained silent, but she could still sense his thoughts fighting against each other.

She felt his gaze turn toward her and his emotions shifted completely even though guilt remained.

“I still put you in harm’s way, and for that I must beg your forgiveness.”

Rachel turned to look in his direction, but the action caused pain to shoot down her spine again, but she found his glowing eyes in the dimness of the room.

“You asked for my help, and I agreed to go with you. I sensed the dangers and knew there was trouble. I could have pressed you harder to leave, but I didn’t. It was your mission. The Force told me to leave, but I chose to stay silent and go with you. If I had made us leave, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“I should not have asked this of you in the first place.”

“You are my friend. I would do it again if you asked.”

“You could have died.”

“I don’t think they would have killed me.”

He was silent for a moment, and Rachel could sense his mind working through it.

“I see your reasoning,” he said almost reluctantly.

“If they had killed me, they would have no leverage on you.”

“Yes, I see that,” his voice was sharp, but Rachel could feel the pain he felt. The pain, and guilt, and even anger rose in him.

Searching the ceiling for the right words, Rachel found nothing that would ease his guilt. She could understand his frustration and anger, but she wanted him to know that it had also been her choice. He wasn’t solely to blame as he seemed to believe he was.

“I’m sorry,” was all she could think to say, but it wasn’t the right thing because she felt a pain surge through him again. She closed herself off from his emotions. Whatever he was feeling, he needed to work through it on his own.

Turning her thoughts to healing, Rachel closed her eyes, and even though the visions of the cage surrounded her, she forced herself to focus on the Force, her breathing, and the injuries. If she remembered correctly, she could go into a healing trance which could help her body heal faster. The trouble was remembering how the holocron said to do it.

She pictured the holocron in her mind and replayed the memory.

“There are two ways to be awakened from this trance,” it had said. “The first is to wake naturally. This happens when your body is fully healed. Your mind wakes up from the trance at that point. However, this may take several hours to several days depending on the severity of your injuries, so the better option is the second: having someone available to wake you up using a word or phrase that you tell your mind to listen for. When your companion says this word or phrase, your mind will bring you out of the healing trance no matter how long you have been in it or at what stage of healing your body is in.”

Rachel could remember that much, but how did she start the meditation?

She glanced over at Thran who had turned away from her. Should she have him say something that should wake her up just in case? She wasn’t sure how long her injuries would take to heal. Could it take days?

“Thran?” she asked tentatively.

“Yes?”

“I want to try something. A type of Jedi healing, but I need a way to wake up.”

His anxiety rose, and he was silent for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“There is a healing trance I can go into, but it could last for days if I’m not woken up.”

“How are you woken up?”

“I can set up a word or phrase that someone can say that will bring me out of the trance.”

“You are certain this works?”

“No. But I remember learning about it from a healing holocron, so I’m willing to try it.”

“That is not reassuring,” he said, turning to look at her.

“I know. I’m sorry. But I don’t want to be here for weeks healing. I know that my absence will be noticed at the temple, and I’d rather it not be longer than necessary.”

He sighed. “Very well. How should I wake you from this trance?”

Rachel hadn’t thought of a word. Simply her name wouldn’t do very well because he could easily wake her up just by talking about her. What phrases she thought of to wake someone up sounded ridiculous.

“Do you have any ideas?” she finally asked him.

She thought she sensed a hint of amusement.

“How about simply, welcome back?” he suggested.

She thought about it. “And if someone else comes in and welcomes you back?”

“I will add your name to it then.”

“All right. I guess that will work. I hope.”

“How will I know when to wake you?”

“These biosensor rings show my vital signs and how well my body is healing, right?”

“So when your body is sufficiently healed, you wish for me to wake you?”

“Yes.”

“Very well.”

He didn’t seem very enthusiastic about it, Rachel sensed, but she also didn’t want to be lying in a bed encased in these snake-like rings for days on end. She settled back into as comfortable a position as she could while her knee still coursed pain up her leg and her shoulder ached. There was nothing she could do about the wound on her back. The sooner she healed, the sooner it would be gone. She hoped.

She closed her eyes and focused on her wounds, feeling the pain, but allowing the Force to surround her and surround the injuries. Taking as deep a breath as she could, she found an inner calm, knowing that she was safe where she was. As she drifted off, she thought she heard a familiar voice that added to the calmness.

“Good night, Ra’chel,” Thran said quietly as he saw her close her eyes and relax. He knew that nightmares often came to her, so he hoped that this healing trance would not be filled with them. If he saw that it was, he would wake her up immediately.

She was putting her trust in him to wake her up when he believed her to be sufficiently healed.

That is a great deal of trust you are putting in me, he thought. But then, she had done the very same thing in coming with him on this mission. He knew the risks going into it. He had made the preparations with his brother that, should he not make contact, he was to be presumed captured and need a forceful extraction. He had known what he was getting them into, and Rachel had gone along willingly.

The guilt threatened to overwhelm him again. Why had he asked her to go with him? He knew the risks! He put her life on the line. She had trusted him, and he broke that trust by letting her be harmed.

If they had killed me, they would have no leverage on you. If they had killed her…

He felt his jaw tense. If they had killed her, he would have killed every single being with his bare hands.

Thran looked over at Rachel’s sleeping face. Despite everything they had put her through, she never broke. Her strength had become his own each time he heard her voice telling him to remain silent. If her actions didn’t earn the Syndicure’s respect, he wasn’t sure their respect could ever be earned. They owed her, and he would make sure they knew it.

Thran woke with a start. Taking in his surroundings, he remembered where he was and looked over to where Rachel still slept on her medical bed.

He sat up and started to stand.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

Thran turned to see Doctor Ziatros walking toward him.

“I was going to check on Ra’chel,” he replied. “How is she?”

Ignoring her warning glare, he walked over to Rachel’s bed. Just looking at her, he could see improvement.

“To be completely honest,” she said, her voice a mixture of awe and disbelief, “I’ve never seen our equipment work this quickly on injuries this severe.”

Thran looked at her, his eyes narrowing. “What do you mean?”

“The system indicates that the muscles in her shoulder are almost completely healed. The wound in her back is forming perfect scar tissue over itself, and, well, just look at her. Her bruises and scratches and scars are nearly healed.”

Thran turned back to Rachel, staring down at her face. It looked both at peace yet in firm concentration.

“Has she…” he began, almost afraid to ask. “Has she shown any signs of having nightmares?”

“Nightmares?” she asked. “Not that I’ve noticed.”

Thran let out a breath then realized. “You didn’t say anything about her leg.”

She hesitated. “It’s healing, but the way the scar tissue is forming…I don’t think it will ever truly heal correctly. I believe her leg will continue to give her problems.”

“Is there nothing else that can help?” Thran asked. “Bacta, perhaps?”

“We don’t have any left on board,” she said. “We used what we had after the last battle we were in.”

Thran nodded. His brother had told him about it. Many warriors had been lost; many more had been injured.

“Has any progress been made on identifying the enemy?” Thran asked.

“Not as far as I’m aware,” she replied.

He nodded again. “How much longer until we arrive?”

She pulled out her questis and scrolled through it. “Six hours by Sky-walker, but I doubt she’s up there right now. We are likely in jump by jump right now.”

“You’re certain of that?”

“She was in third sight when the Earthling last woke, and that was five hours ago. She will likely be taking a break at the moment. She’s a young one.”

“I see,” he said, looking down at Rachel. “I’ll let her sleep for now. Perhaps a bit longer in the healing trance will help her. I’ll wake her when we’re closer.”

“Healing trance?”

“Yes. She believed her wounds would heal faster if she went into a Jedi healing trance, but she also didn’t know how long she would need to be in the trance, so we arranged that I would wake her when her wounds seemed sufficiently healed.”

Doctor Ziatros stared at him, trying to process it all.

“That explains the quick recovery,” her words stumbled out. “I thought it seemed odd. I have never seen our equipment work this fast.”

“I wasn’t certain about it when she told me about it,” he admitted. “But seeing the results—I don’t know why I doubted.”

Doctor Ziatros turned to him. “And what about your wounds?”

“As I said, I feel fine.”

“Blaster burns and electrocutions leave plenty of damage.”

“I am in no pain,” Thran assured her. “Whatever you gave me initially has worked.”

She eyed him sternly but didn’t argue with him.

“All right. You’re free to go then. I’ll let you know if anything changes with the Earthling.”

“Her name is Ra’chel,” he said pointedly.

“Ra’chel,” she repeated. “I shall inform you if there are any changes.”

“Thank you.”

Thran was reluctant to leave because he didn’t want to leave Rachel there alone, but he also knew there was little he could do to aid her healing. So he opted to find his brother in order to thank him for coming to his aid.

Although, it seemed that his brother had the same idea because he wound up meeting him in the corridor leading away from the med bay.

“Doctor Ziatros letting you go already?” Thoorlyk asked.

“If you could even call me injured in the first place,” he retorted.

“It could have been worse,” his brother chided him.

“You don’t need to lecture me.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, gesturing down the hall the way he had come. “That wasn’t my intention.”

They fell into step and walked a few paces before Thran finally found the right words. “Thank you, Thoorlyk. I know things could have ended much worse if you hadn’t come. I appreciate your assistance.”

“Of course,” he answered. “May I ask though, what did you hope to gain from this?”

“It would have been our first ally,” he said.

“And so you lost sight of caution in your enthusiasm?”

“I didn’t lose sight of it.”

“Ah, yes. You had me for back up and a Jedi bodyguard, how could I forget.”

Thran clenched his jaw to hold back the retort that jumped to his mind.

“Just out of curiosity,” Thoorlyk continued, “why did you bring a Jedi?”

“She isn’t just a Jedi,” Thran said.

“I know. She’s the Earthling you brought back from the Second Galaxy. Why her? The Jedi Council didn’t have anyone else to spare?”

“I didn’t ask the Council,” Thran admitted. “I asked her.”

“Why?”

The guilt came rushing back, and if he were with anyone other than his brother, he would have done a better job of hiding it.

“You really didn't think this would get out of hand, did you?” Thoorlyk asked.

He couldn’t speak. The images of Rachel being tortured were burned into his mind, and her screams still echoed in his ears.

“I should have listened to her.” He finally said.

Thoorlyk gave him a questioning look.

“The instant we landed, she knew something was wrong, and I ignored her instincts. If I had listened to her, she wouldn't have gotten hurt.”

Thoorlyk sighed. “You know what the Syndicure is going to say.”

He did. They would say Rachel knew too much about the Ascendency and was dangerous, and he was meddling too closely with her and the Jedi.

“Thran?”

“I know,” he huffed. “That doesn’t mean they’re right.”

“You need to be careful. The Syndicure already pulled you from the Exploration Force because of her, do you really want to risk your new career for her?”

“She chose to come with me from her galaxy because I believed she could be a Jedi.”

“And she’s fulfilling that. Let her live her life as a Jedi and walk away.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I promised her that I would always remain her friend,” he said firmly. “I have no intention of breaking that promise.”

Thoorlyk shook his head. “This is dangerous, Thran.”

He turned to face his brother. “The entire time we were on Rattatak, do you know which of us was stronger?” he asked.

Thoorlyk’s eyes narrowed questioningly.

“Ra’chel,” Thran said. “They tortured her on a gamble that she knew something about the Ascendency, but she never broke. She made sure I stayed quiet.”

“You needed reminding?”

His earlier anger rose again as he stared directly into Thoorlyk’s eyes. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to watch your friend be tortured while you’re helpless to do a damn thing?”

His brother’s face softened only a little, but his eyes remained firm. “As warriors, we are trained to make ourselves numb to such things.” He paused. “But no, I have never watched a friend go through anything like what Ra’chel went through.”

“She cares about our people,” Thran said, turning to resume their walk. “And how is the Syndicure going to repay her?”

“The only way it knows how,” Thoorlyk caught up with him. “Self-preservation.”

“They can’t force me to end my friendship with her.”

“Actually, they have that authority. They could lock down your ship and force you to stay in the Ascendency for good, and you know it.”

He hated that his brother was right. They walked for a while longer in silence before Thoorlyk changed the subject slightly.

“Does Father know?” he asked.

“About Ra’chel or about Rattatak?”

“I told him about Rattatak, and I know he’ll ask you for more details, but I was referring to Ra’chel. Does he know how much you care about her?”

“He knows that we are friends,” Thran answered. “He actually seemed to like her when she was at the homestead.”

“He met her?”

“He did, and like I said, he likes her.”

“That’s more than you can say about some of the women you’ve courted.”

Thran shot him a look.

“What?” Thoorlyk chuckled. “You really think Father liked Bicendi or what was that other girl’s name? Sakiia?”

“Just because you didn’t like them doesn’t mean Father shared your views. Not that that matters anymore.”

“I’m just saying it’s interesting that Father likes this alien better, that’s all. No need to get all defensive.”

“If you’re trying to make a point, then I suggest you make it,” Thran said, letting his brother see his exasperation. “Otherwise, it would be best if you quit while you’re behind.”

The smirk that came to Thoorlyk’s face reminded him of when they were younger and he enjoyed getting Thran worked up like this. “You know I’m only joking around,” he said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to.”

“The Admiral doesn’t appreciate your sense of humor?” Thran goaded him.

“She doesn’t think it’s my best quality,” he smirked again. “Not fitting for a First Officer, but she tolerates it.”

“I’m glad someone does.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

But Thran just laughed at his brother’s hurt expression. There were few people he truly joked around with, and Thoorlyk had always been one of them. He honestly found himself looking forward to a day when Rachel might give his brother a real run for his money.

First, they needed to survive the Syndicure’s scrutiny.

Out of the haze and darkness, Rachel heard a voice calling her.

“Welcome back, Ra’chel.”

She knew that voice, and she slowly opened her eyes, pushing the fogginess out of her mind.

The room was not as dimly lit as before, but the lights were still low.

“How are you feeling?” a female voice asked.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel became more awake and aware of where she was and why she was here. She did a mental check down her body. Nothing hurt—she moved her shoulders, arms, hands, mentally checked her torso.

Then she remembered.

She moved her left shoulder again. No pain. She moved slightly on the bed and felt nothing from her back where she had forced the knife. As she moved her left leg, she felt an odd twinging that wasn’t entirely painful but was definitely uncomfortable.

“Take it easy,” the female Chiss said next to her as she tried to sit up.

“I feel fine,” Rachel explained. “There is no pain.” She looked at Thran. “It worked.”

He smiled, and Rachel sensed relief wash over him.

“All scans indicate that your wounds have healed,” the doctor told her. “Scar tissue has completely formed over the knife wound on your back. All fractures are mended, and your shoulder is completely healed. You would never know that it had been dislocated.”

Rachel moved her knee again. “What about my leg?” she asked. “There is no pain, but it feels…um.”

She looked at Thran, uncertain of the correct word. “Uncomfortable,” she said in Basic, and he translated for her.

“Your knee was torn very badly,” the doctor said. “Some of the muscles and ligaments would have needed a complicated surgery to fix. You fixed it on your own, but the way it healed…I’m not certain it will ever be the same as it was.”

Rachel nodded. At least it healed. She could get used to how it felt now.

“I have a room set up for you,” Thran said. “I presumed you would not want to remain in medical for the whole trip.”

Rachel smiled a little and nodded.

“That is,” he looked at the doctor, “If Doctor Ziatros is all right with your leaving.”

“Her wounds are healed,” Doctor Ziatros said. “If she can prove to me that she can walk all right, she is free to leave.”

They helped her out of the biosensor rings, and Rachel pushed herself off the table and started to walk around in a small circle. Her knee twinged with each step, but it didn’t hurt, so Doctor Ziatros gave her permission to leave, and Thran gestured to the door.

While they walked, they passed almost no one, and they walked in silence for a while. Rachel tentatively reached out to sense his emotions, but there were none of the ones she had felt before going into the trance. Either he had buried them far below his surface or had resolved them. She wouldn’t pry though. There were other things they could discuss.

But Thran got there first.

“I believe we both know how they will rule on this,” he said, switching to Basic.

“The Syndicure?”

“As much as I would like to force them to see logic and reason, I am not certain they will.”

Rachel stared at the floor as though studying where she was placing each footstep. He was right. Regardless of her actions one way or the other, the Aristocra would only see an Outsider meddling where she didn’t belong.

“What do you think their sentence will be?” she asked, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

“On the lighter side,” he said, “they will force us to never communicate or see each other again.”

She turned to stare at him. That was light?

“On the heavier side,” he continued, “they could end my Ambassadorship to the Republic thereby forcing me to remain within Ascendency borders for good.”

Her heart sank as her forehead tensed with dread. She knew how much that position meant to him. He had worked for months to get it. If the Syndicure decided to take that out from under him, it would destroy him. He had already lost his position in the Exploration Force. Would they really take this away from him too?

Either way, they wouldn’t allow them to remain friends. Rachel knew too much about the Ascendency.

As they stepped into the room Thran had prepared for her, she first noted how similar it was to the suite she had been given aboard the Star-Jumper, then she felt a familiar sensation and turned her head down the hallway.

“What is it?” Thran asked, following her gaze.

She shook her head as she stared through the Force, past the hallway in front of them. “Nothing.”

But when she turned back to him, he raised an eyebrow as his glowing eyes studied her.

“What?”

His forehead tensed, and he lowered his gaze. “Nothing, I suppose,” he said softly.

He knew she was lying, she realized. While he didn’t like it, he accepted it, and that bothered her. She had never told him about the bond she had made with the girl who navigated the Star-Jumper. No one had known they had made a connection. While it wasn’t Al’aniet navigating the ship right now, there was someone who had just taken them into hyperspace. Someone very young.

If she wasn’t going to be allowed to talk to Thran ever again, she might as well tell him.

Gesturing into the room, she asked him to stay and talk.

“When we were travelling from my galaxy to yours,” she began as they sat down opposite each other on the couch and chair, “do you remember when we were in the forward viewing room and I said I saw planets and stars, and the ship stopped abruptly?”

“Of course,” he said.

“It turned out—”

“You saw into Al’aniet’s mind,” he said.

Rachel stared at him. “How—”

“I questioned her after the incident, and she had seen things from Earth in her dreams just as you had seen things from her mind. But it was agreed upon that you two were not to be told about each other.”

“That didn’t work,” she said.

“I did not think it would.”

“I spoke with her many times during the trip. Not in person. It’s…hard to describe. I could hear her voice in my mind, and we could talk that way.”

He nodded and leaned forward. “The Sky-walkers are the closest kept secret of the Chiss,” his voice turned grave. “No one, and I mean no one, can ever know what you know.”

“I think you know me well enough to know that I would never tell anyone.”

“I believe you,” he said. “And your actions have proven it, but it is the Syndicure that needs convincing.”

“Not just the Syndicure,” she said, looking down at the floor.

“You believe the Jedi will have an equally harsh judgment?”

“Why wouldn’t they? I left without sanction from the Council, Master Ywin, or the Senate. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. I have no idea what I’ll be walking into when I return.”

“It scares you.”

She looked at him. He was studying her again.

“The Syndicure doesn’t scare you?”

He looked away.

“I do not fear them,” he said quietly. “I fear never seeing you again, and they have the authority to pass that judgment.”

For a long moment, they were silent.

“I guess,” Rachel said softly, “all we can do is plead our cases.”

Thran nodded and stood to leave. “I will let you know when we arrive,” he said, but paused as though he remembered something. “The warriors who rescued us found your lightsaber.”

Her heart skipped in her chest. “Where?”

“The Rattataki who were observing our torture had it with them. I told them to leave it in here for you, but I don’t see…” he turned around as though searching, but she reached out and sensed the crystal as it called to her, and she lifted it from the table next to the door, and it flew to her hand.

“Found it,” she said with a small smile.

He smiled at her. “I’ll see you soon.”

Thran had let her know they had arrived, but no one came to get her for quite some time.

When the door opened, Rachel saw a familiar Chiss man walk in, and she stood up from the couch, feeling her knee twinge under her weight.

“Greetings, Ra’chel,” Patriarch Mitth’yod’arik said in Cheunh.

“I greet you, your Venerante.” She remembered the formal Chiss greeting.

He raised his eyebrows. “So you do know our language. I thought my son would teach you.”

She tensed. “I understand it better than I speak it,” she admitted. She knew she still struggled to find words and get her mouth to say certain words.

“You speak it better than other outsiders,” he said. “And don’t worry, Thran has told me of your actions on Rattatak, and I wished to come and thank you personally for what you have done for the Ascendency.”

Rachel looked at him, puzzled, but remained silent. She wasn’t expecting to receive thanks for her and Thran’s actions. He had gone to an alien race to seek an alliance, something for which the Syndicure was likely to reprimand him, and for her part in it, they would likely order her to stay away.

“The Syndicure will say otherwise,” Thyodar continued, “as they usually do. They do what they must to protect the needs and interests of the Ascendency. However, despite the ramifications of Thran’s plan in undertaking this mission, you kept the Ascendency safe. For that, you have my respect, and they ought to be grateful.”

“What will happen to Thran?” Rachel asked.

Thyodar sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “I believe they will order him to cut all communications with you.”

A heavy weight fell on Rachel’s chest, and her heart sank into her stomach. She had figured as much, but to hear it with such certainty only made it that much worse.

“I cannot,” she whispered, the mixture of guilt, remorse, and anger building inside her. How could they make her do that?

He studied her, and Rachel saw the similarities between him and Thran in the way his eyes studied her.

“I understand that such a course of action will be difficult,” he said. “But it may be what is best for the protection of the Ascendency.”

“What about what is best for your son?” Rachel asked without thinking. She wasn’t sure if it was proper to talk in such a way to a Patriarch, but assumed it probably wasn’t.

He merely lifted an eyebrow ever so slightly and looked at her for a brief moment before taking a deep breath and looking down. “I understand that he has a strong friendship with you,” he said. “While such a friendship ought to be a good thing, the Syndicure fears it.”

“Because I am not Chiss,” Rachel said.

“Do not take it personally. All outsiders are seen through the same narrow lens.”

Rachel looked at him suspiciously. “You do not?”

He gave her a somewhat innocent look. “While I may not go so far as Thran has in his quest to build this relationship with the Republic, I am not opposed to it the way the Syndicure is. I am a bit more open-minded than that.”

Rachel smirked. That was where Thran got it from then. His father was a strong political leader and had an open opinion about other beings outside of Chiss borders. Thran merely took things one step further.

Rachel thought for a moment. “If I may ask, your Venerante, what would happen if Thran and I went against the Syndicure’s wishes and still communicated?”

To Rachel’s surprise, he smirked. “Coruscant is a long way from here. I don’t think the Syndicure can control what Thran does while he’s there.”

Rachel stared at him. “They would allow him to return to Coruscant?”

“Perhaps,” the Patriarch said. “But it would not be for a while. They also lack the ability to monitor all private communications.”

In other words, what the Syndicure didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

“And if I happen to overhear anything while he’s at the homestead,” he said with a shrug, “who am I supposed to know with whom he is communicating?”

Rachel couldn’t keep the smile from coming to her face. “Thank you.”

“I can see how much your friendship means to my son,” he said, and she felt a sadness creep past his stoic barrier. “He cares a great deal about you. I don’t want to see him lose that after he’s already lost so much.”

She couldn’t find words. The emotions she sensed from him cut her heart as much as his words had.

“I must go,” he said. “I am expected at your pre-hearing meeting.”

She watched him leave, but it was a while before she could sit down. The Syndicure was preparing to judge them. And for her part, all she could do was wait.

Chapter Text

Rachel looked around the room at the Syndics seated. She couldn’t tell which ones were from which family except by the colors they wore, and even that was difficult to remember. Thran had tried to run her through which ones were which, but in the chaos of it all, she hadn’t taken in anything he had told her.

The nine Patriarchs were seated in the same areas as their Syndics, but they were not allowed to pass judgment at this point, only offer input. The only one she knew was Thran’s father, and she often looked over towards him for reassurance because she knew that she at least had his support.

Thran stood tensely next to her. His mind, too, was rigid. He was expecting whatever was coming, and he planned to take it.

“We understand,” one of them started, “that the Earthling speaks Cheunh.”

“I understand better than I speak,” she hoped she pronounced the words correctly, stealing a glance at Thran for confirmation. But his face showed nothing. It was only through a small flicker in his emotions that she knew she had.

“Very well,” the Syndic said.

“We have a number of questions for the both of you,” another spoke up, this one wearing dark green robes.

Before she could even nod in acknowledgment, the questioning and accusations began.

“Mitth’ra’nikuru, you knowingly traveled to the Rattatak system and engaged with the peoples and government there, going against all laws regarding aliens.”

“Forgive me,” Thran interjected. “But there is nothing in the laws that state I cannot travel to other aliens’ worlds and speak with them.”

The Syndic made a soft hissing noise, “Be that as it may, speaking with alien governments and aiding them without authorization is against law. Not to mention the risk of exposing the Ascendency to attack should these aliens have learned from you what they desired to know.”

“There was no risk of that,” Thran said.

“Wasn’t there?” The other raised an eyebrow and looked over to Rachel. “And what of the information that this Earthling knows? Was there no risk that this outsider would give up such information when her life was at stake?”

It took her a second to realize they were directing the question towards her and not Thran, but Thran answered anyway.

“Ra’chel showed more strength than you give her credit for,” he said turning to look at her briefly. “Despite what the Rattataki put her through, she never once showed any sign of giving in. In fact, throughout it all, she only ever told me to remain silent.”

“So you admit that you were at risk of divulging Ascendency secrets?” another Syndic asked.

“Have you ever watched your friend be tortured?” he turned the question over on him.

When there was no immediate answer, Thran continued. “Have any of you ever watched, unable to anything, while your friend suffered needlessly for you?”

Rachel thought that his tone was shifting a bit too close to being disrespectful but given the changes in emotions she felt waving through the room, she couldn’t be sure.

“I understand that I should not have gone to Rattatak, but more than that, I should not have involved Ra’chel. However, if I hadn’t, I would not have had her strength to draw on when I needed it. It was her strength that protected the Ascendency, not mine.”

There was a silence in the room, and Rachel looked over at Thyodar to try and gauge his thoughts on Thran’s words.

To her surprise, he had no emotion showing on his face. Not even a hint. She slowly looked around at the other faces, and saw a mixture of contempt, disapproval, thoughtfulness, and the same stoicism.

Thran had spoken for her. Perhaps it was her own word that they needed.

Taking a breath and working her mouth a bit, she hoped she could say everything correctly.

“If I may,” she said, speaking slowly. “I understand my word may mean nothing because I am an outsider, but I ask you to consider them.” When there was no objection, she continued. “Thran asked me to join him on this mission, and I did not hesitate because he is my friend, and I saw how much this meant to him. The Jedi are often asked to oversee these kinds of negotiations in the hope of maintaining peace. There were many times when I sensed danger and saw signs that we should have left, but I left the decision to Thran, and I stayed to protect him.”

“You believe the Chiss need protecting?” another Syndic wearing yellow robes spoke up.

“Perhaps not the Ascendency as a whole,” she tried to choose her words carefully. She didn’t want to insult them but wanted to be as honest as possible. “But I was not going to leave my friend behind when I sensed danger.”

“And yet you both required assistance, did you not?” the Syndic pressed her further.

“I did what I could,” she said. “They had some form of technology that blocked out the Force. They had more guards than I was able to defend against.”

“And you therefore failed,” another Syndic stated.

Her stomach tightened, and she couldn’t keep eye contact with any of them. It felt like she was back in school being reprimanded by her teachers for overstepping her bounds. If she had just been able to convince Thran to leave when she sensed the danger, she knew this wouldn’t have turned out the way it had.

“If anyone failed,” Thran spoke up, “it was me. Ra’chel did nothing wrong. Her actions should be praised—”

“Silence!” Rachel wasn’t sure which Syndic had spoken, but she could sense the collective stirring in the room.

“We will come to your actions soon enough, Mitth’ra’nikuru,” she spotted him now, the Syndic wearing green robes was speaking. “As for this Earthling,” he turned his glowing eyes on her, “She is banished from Chiss space immediately.”

“On what char—”

“I said silence, Mitth’ra’nikuru! Take the Earthling out.”

She felt a hand on her shoulder as she turned to look at Thran whose face held first disbelief, but as they turned her around, she saw his eyes flash with anger.

She had known the Syndicure would have a harsh sentence, but she had no idea they would be this heartless.

Her last view was of Patriarch Mitth’yod’arik, but he didn’t meet her gaze before she was ushered out of the room.

Thran couldn't sleep that night. The Syndicure's ruling infuriated him. Rachel had protected the Ascendancy, but they were too narrow-minded to recognize it. They’d wasted little time in implementing their sentence, too. He hadn’t been allowed to say goodbye as they took Rachel back to the hangar to be put on a ship out of Chiss space. Once she was out, he knew they’d give her the means to find her own way back to Coruscant. 

That was how they repaid her loyalty.

They had concluded the session for the time being while they took some time to consider his future. Was he to be allowed to continue his work as an ambassador to the Republic, or would they hand it over to someone else? Everything he had worked for, toiled over, and lost sleep over could be taken away so easily. And his father just sat there and let it happen.

He swung his legs off his bed and sat up, too angry to sleep anymore. He rubbed his hands over his face before standing and walking to the window. He’d never shaken the habit of looking out into the garden for his mother, but now, it was Rachel he had hoped to see walking between all the flowers. He saw neither, nor would he ever see either of them again.

He turned and went to the door. It was nearly morning, so he wasn’t concerned about what anyone would think as he left his room and went to the back of the house. He exited without even thinking about his destination, and yet still knew exactly where he was going.

Half an hour later, just as the sun was rising, he found himself in the clearing where the stream flowed from the edge of the cavern wall into the Mitth homestead. The water was icy, he knew, and he could still hear his mother’s warnings not to get too close, but he wasn’t a child anymore, and he wanted something that would distract his mind from his anger.

But as he walked through the clearing towards the stream, the rising sun shone through the trees and danced over the morning dew that coated the grass making it sparkle like gems, and he couldn’t help but stare at it. He knew that Rachel would love it, and he felt his jaw clench with the knowledge that she would never see it.

He had come here looking for the same peace Rachel and his mother found when they came here, but all he found was their absence and the void they left in his life.

Clenching his hands into fists, he saw a stone nearby and rushed towards it and chucked it across the stream into the trees with a loud yell. He found another and threw it. And another, and another, until he found himself kneeling in front of the stream staring down into the rushing water.

The last time he had cried was when his mother had died. He had been a child then, and crying had been acceptable. He was glad no one could see him now.

When he returned to the house, it was nearly midday, and his father was waiting for him with the news that the Syndicure was ready with their decision.

“Did Syndic Mitth’al’amikuz even try to speak up on my behalf? He said nothing when Ra’chel was banished.”

“I have since spoken with him,” he said. “He has pleaded your case with the Syndicure in an effort to keep you as the Ambassador to the Republic. How it has gone, I don’t know yet.”

But he had done nothing for Rachel.

“Will I have the chance to speak?” Thran asked.

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t.”

When Thran again walked into the Syndicure Hearing Hall, he knew he had one chance to plead Rachel’s case and make them see how badly they had wronged her. He didn’t care what repercussions came to him, he only wanted Rachel’s name to be cleared, and her sentence revoked. He would make them see the error in their logic and prove to them how sound his own was. This was his strength. He knew he excelled in this.

“Mitth’ra’nikuru,” the Irizi Syndic began, but Thran didn’t let him continue.

“If I may,” he interrupted—the Irizi’s jaw visibly clenching shut in contempt. “I would like the chance to speak.”

“Proceed,” the Clarr Syndic said with a note of impatience in his voice.

Thran inclined his head before carefully speaking his chosen words.

“How do we protect the Ascendency?” he asked the room.

When he was answered with only silence and puzzled stares, he repeated himself.

“You have all been members of the Ascendency’s ruling body for years. Surely you know how we protect the Ascendency?”

“What sort of game are you playing?” the Plikh Syndic asked.

“I am merely wondering if we are all trying to protect the Ascendency, or if we have become so narrow-minded that we refuse to see past the end of our desks.”

He knew this would cause a stir, and indeed, he could see many of them shift in their seats.

“Our Navy protects our borders,” Syndic Mitth’al’amikuz spoke up.

“They do,” Thran answered. “But is that enough? How do other systems know to not attack us?”

“They respect our strength,” the Irizi Syndic said proudly. “The Chiss Navy is the strongest in the Chaos, and no one would dare to challenge that strength.”

Thran had planned on his pride, and if not his, then the Clarr’s who was also sitting a bit straighter in his seat.

“Respect,” Thran echoed. “Strength. And yet, each family has their own Navy, do they not?”

Again, they were silent.

“What is to stop the Clarr’s ships from attacking the Irizi’s ships? Or the Plikh’s from the Dasklo’s?”

“We are all Chiss,” the Chaf Syndic said. “Why should we attack each other?”

“Loyalty,” Thran said. “Are these things not the foundation of what makes us Chiss?”

“What is your point?” the Clarr Syndic asked.

“Which of these does Ra’chel Ba’kandi lack? Strength, respect, or loyalty?”

He could see them roiling. He had them. They couldn’t find anything other than the fact that she simply wasn’t Chiss.

“She knows too much,” the Plikh began to say.

“And yet,” Thran interrupted, “has she ever breathed a single secret of our people?”

When they were silent again, he continued.

“Even on Earth, when all she knew was my name, and she was held under torture by her own people, she remained silent. On Rattatak, she knew far more about our culture and worlds and secrets. Despite that, and despite all the pain she endured, she made sure that I remained silent.” Thran felt his throat start to constrict at the memory of watching Rachel endure so much pain.

“She did not have to endure any of it, and yet she chose to go through all of it to protect the Ascendency, and you have cast her out and cast her aside. That is not loyalty. That is shameful.” He felt his earlier anger rising and fought to keep it down. He couldn’t let it control his words. Logic needed to win them over. “Ra’chel’s actions protected the Ascendency, and for that, she ought to be thanked. My actions put the Ascendency in jeopardy. If anyone ought to be punished, it ought to be me and not her. I would only ask that if you reassign someone to be Ambassador, they have the same outlook and views that I have had, or you may as well disband the notion altogether.”

There was silence, and they looked between each other for several moments. He stole a glance at his father merely to gauge his thoughts and saw what could pass for pride on his face.

“I believe,” the Clarr Syndic spoke up finally, “we shall need some time to deliberate over your words, Mitth’ra’nikuru. We will call you back when we are ready.”

Thran inclined his head and left the hall.

He felt himself relax as the door closed behind him. He knew he had brought a huge weight down on himself, but if it meant that it would be taken off of Rachel, it would be worth it.

As the shuttle landed on the Jedi landing pad and flew off again, Rachel saw that Master Ywin had returned from his mission. He stood in the entranceway with his arms crossed, and as Rachel approached, he didn’t say anything.

“Master—” she began hesitantly.

“The Council is already assembled,” he said, turning and walking away.

Her chest tightened as she started to follow him. They already knew. Somehow, they already knew what she had done.

Would they expel her?

Her mind whirled the entire walk to the Council Chamber. About half of the Masters were actually present, the rest were present via holocalls. Once Master Ywin took his seat, Master Zhulung began.

“Padawan Bakandi,” his voice was stern. “We have received reports and listened to parts and portions of what has transpired. What we lack is your part of the story. We know that you left the Temple without authorization, we know that you were on Rattatak when the newly elected Governor was murdered, and you have not been seen or heard from until you returned to Republic space. Would you please fill us in.”

Rachel hadn’t known the Governor had been killed. She didn’t know what the Chiss had done when they extracted her and Thran from Rattatak. She hadn’t asked.

She decided to start at the beginning. She told them how Thran had contacted her and asked for her help, how the meeting with the Governor had turned out to be an ambush, she told them as much as she could about the torture, and she told them that the Chiss had rescued her and Thran.

“You deny having any part in the Governor’s murder?” Master Zhulung asked.

“I didn’t know he had been killed,” Rachel said. “I wasn’t conscious when the Chiss rescued us. I only know what I was told.”

“But during the ambush,” Master Ywin interjected, “could you have deflected a blaster bolt towards him?”

Rachel thought back.

“No,” she said, replaying the memory. “He was the one who stunned Thran. He was alive when we were captured.”

“So the Chiss are to blame,” Master Ywin turned to Master Zhulung.

“That will be a matter for them to work out,” he said turning back to Rachel. “For your part, Padawan Bakandi, why did you not alert the Council where you were going?”

“I…don’t know,” she admitted.

“Did you believe we would forbid it?” Master Zev asked.

“Wouldn’t you?” She looked at him.

“All such missions should be sanctioned by or given clearance through the Council,” Master Raaschu’s hologram said from behind her.

“A Jedi Master would have been given the mission,” Master Xal said. “A Padawan never goes on missions by themselves. Regardless of their age.”

She knew judgement was coming, and she couldn’t lift her eyes to meet anyone’s gaze.

“Padawan Bakandi,” Master Zhulung’s voice took on a booming tone, “you are, from now on, to remain inside the temple unless sanctioned by the Council for a mission alongside your Master, and your communication with Ambassador Mitth’ra’nikuru must end once and for all.”

She could handle staying inside the temple. It was large and she could still go to the lake level and Room of a Thousand Fountains.

But for the Chiss to banish her and now the Council to forbid her to communicate with Thran was too much. She knew there would be ways around the banishment once Thran was allowed back to Coruscant, presuming the Syndicure allowed him to remain Ambassador, but this made that impossible.

If anything else was said after that, she didn’t hear it. Not until she had been formally dismissed.

She made it to her room before she completely broke down. She knew that such emotions were not encouraged. She should be finding or making peace with their judgement. But right now, she didn’t care. She wanted to cry and let it out. She could make peace with it later.

Chapter Text

Standing in front of the Masters, Rachel felt her argument losing its weight, but she knew she needed to make it.

“Padawan Bakandi,” Master Zhulung greeted her, “we understand that you have a philosophy that you wish to debate with us regarding a part of the Code.”

“That’s correct,” Rachel responded.

“Proceed.”

Taking a deep breath, Rachel began, making sure to look at each Master in turn as she spoke. “The Code states that the forming of attachments is forbidden. However, what does it state about the forming of relationships? Friendships? Even the bond between Master and Padawan? Are these not encouraged on some level? Certainly, the Master-Padawan bond is a strong thing that is encouraged and is inevitable as, usually, a Master takes on a Padawan at a young age and essentially raises them as a parent would. As Younglings, we are placed in clans and it’s encouraged that we form bonds with our clanmates, and I have seen the friendships formed between Younglings, Padawans, and Jedi Knights. Why are these encouraged but outside friendships discouraged? What’s the difference? Are we trained any different in forming these friendships than we are in regards to the friendships that form inside the Temple? If so, why? It is my belief, and I challenge the philosophy, that attachments, by themselves, are not bad. The fear of losing those to whom we have formed the attachment is what is dangerous. If this distinction can be taught, I think there will be less confusion about it.”

She took a calming breath as she finished and looked back at Master Zhulung.

“An interesting outlook,” he said.

“I presume this philosophy has formed due to your friendship with the Chiss Ambassador?” Master Ywin asked.

While she felt her jaw tense, she tried not to let them see her react. “In part, yes,” she admitted. “However, I fail to see why outside relationships should be viewed in a different light than relationships formed inside the Temple. If a Padawan loses their Master, what emotions does that Padawan feel? How has he or she been trained to deal with them?”

“One would hope,” Master Sahga interjected, “that the Master has adequately trained his or her Padawan for that inevitability.”

“Be that as it may,” Rachel said, “emotions still come regardless of training.”

“Your upbringing has been unique,” Master Hetti said from behind her. “Do you think this has had an effect on your outlook on this philosophy?”

“I think it gives me a different outlook on it,” Rachel said. “I don’t think it’s either good or bad. Just different. And I think it warrants a discussion.”

“I can see your point,” Master Zev spoke up. “I think it is fair to bring this up. Friendships and bonds are encouraged here in the Temple, and yet, when a Jedi passes, we know and are taught that there is no death, there is only the Force. This same philosophy applies with others outside the Temple, though it is, perhaps, more difficult to see. As Jedi, we are taught to move past grief and not hold on to those we lose. This should also apply to those outside the Temple. I can see Padawan Bakandi’s point. Why should outside friendships and bonds be seen differently when they can be taught the same?”

There was a short silence in the room. Rachel hadn’t expected any of them to agree with her. And from the slight stirring she felt wave through the room, the others hadn’t either.

But before anyone else could raise any contradictions, Master Zhulung’s and Master Ywin’s commlinks flashed.

“Perhaps,” Master Zhulung said, looking down, “we shall have to discuss this at another time.”

“You are dismissed, Padawan,” Master Ywin said.

Taken aback, Rachel bowed and left.

That was it?

She understood that something had clearly come up, and she had made her point, but they had dismissed her without further discussion or making any kind of decision.

At least she had Master Zev’s support. For now, that was something.

She’d barely made it to her room when Master Ywin called her on her comm and told her to go to the hanger. They had a mission.

She was glad. It had been months since Rattatak, and she was running out of ways to keep herself occupied. Master Ywin drilled her in the different lightsaber forms over and over again, trying to make sure she knew each one, and the training helped her get used to how her knee had healed in those months. It still didn’t hurt, but every now and then, it reminded her that it wasn’t the same. He made sure that she could follow her chosen forms blindfolded and sleeping. He had his own way of training her, she realized. He noticed little by little how much she had learned on her own and, at first, he had begun to push her even harder, but, lately, he didn’t seem to be paying much attention to her training.

Perhaps this mission would help.

“Where are we going?” she asked him, as she boarded the shuttle with him.

“Nar Shaddaa,” he said. “There is a contact there who wants to meet us about establishing better trade for medical and food supplies from the Republic.”

Another planet she never heard of. Great.

“What is it like there?”

“Nar Shaddaa is a moon in Hutt Space,” he said, as he sat down in the pilot’s seat and began firing up the engines. Rachel sat in the co-pilot’s chair and tried to take in every word. So it was a moon, not a planet, that was probably good to know. “The Hutts are not keen on the Republic, but they tolerate us. The fact that this contact is reaching out for Republic aid may not go over well with the Hutts, and so, this is risky.” He turned to her. “How has your study of Huttese come along?”

Rachel winced inwardly. “I can probably understand it all right, but please don’t ask me to speak it.”

“We’ll practice on the way,” he said curtly as the shuttle lifted off and exited the hangar. “While most beings on Nar Shaddaa speak or understand Basic, it’s a Hutt world and Huttese is the primary language.”

“Will our contact speak Basic?”

“In private, he will. But in public, he won’t.”

“If the Hutts don’t want the Republic in their space, how are we going to help our contact and his world?”

“That is the question, isn’t it?”

She looked at her Master. Did he expect her to find the answer like he had on Bandomeer? If so, she knew she’d better start thinking now.

While the nearly three-day trip was uneventful other than Master Ywin’s instruction in Huttese, and his drilling her lightsaber forms, their entry onto Nar Shaddaa was not. Obtaining clearance to land was harder than it should have been, and Master Ywin cursed himself for not thinking ahead enough to travel via a public transport. Their obvious Jedi shuttle was a clear sign of trouble.

When they did manage to land, Rachel instantly felt the eyes of every being watching them. They all knew she and her Master were Jedi, and Rachel wondered if that word would spread through the area and make their contact nervous.

“Calm yourself, Padawan,” her Master spoke next to her. “We can lose ourselves in the crowd soon enough.”

“You don’t think they’ll all know we’re Jedi?”

“Keep your hood up and your head down. You’ll blend in, and soon no one will pay attention to you.”

Rachel nodded, but she didn’t feel confident in the idea.

Besides, there was so much to look at.

She thought Coruscant was a bustling metropolis, but this was something entirely different. There were flashing lights everywhere, and while the buildings reached right up to the sky, there were booths and kiosks lining the streets and alleys, and everywhere, there were beings of every shape and size and color. And the smells! One minute she would smell a delicious food, and the next, she smelled the foulest thing she ever had, and then she would smell something so exotic that made her head spin, and then something even more foul brought her right back to the present.

She had the vague sense that they had gone in a circle, and she looked at Master Ywin whose eyes were darting between buildings and people. His sense was cautious and alert, and yet he was driven and certain. Rachel hoped she could have that kind of sureness in her missions someday. Right now, she wasn’t even sure she could find her way back to the ship.

“This way,” Master Ywin said just loud enough for her to hear before he turned abruptly down an alley where there were fewer beings, but it was still lit up just as bright.

Rachel reached out again to sense if they were still being watched, and she realized that Master Ywin had been right. No one was paying any attention to them.

The alleyway they were walking down opened up into a large plaza with several tall buildings and towers. There were tramways and bridges from building to building, and smack dab in the center of the huge plaza was a gigantic golden statue of a Hutt.

“Stay close,” Master Ywin said, and Rachel tried to ignore the twinge from her knee as she tried to keep up with his long stride as they crossed the plaza to a building on the opposite edge where a tram was exiting and beginning its climb towards a neighboring tower.

There was a being wearing a dark green hood leaning against the wall, and she had the feeling that he was watching them approach as others exited the building through the door on his left.

“Chess ko,” the man warned them standing straighter as they came closer to the door. “Pateessa.”

Master Ywin merely inclined his head as the man removed his hood. He was a middle-aged human with light brown hair contrasting his dark skin.

“Alay,” he said, as he turned and walked towards a door in the building.

He and Master Ywin talked quietly and quickly as they turned away from the doorway down an alleyway, and it was hard to keep up with what they were saying. There were a series of doors they passed, and the establishment they finally entered was what appeared to be a cantina of sorts. In one corner was a band playing an odd kind of music with instruments she had never seen before, and there were dancers of different species near different tables, and Rachel wasn’t sure they were dancing just for fun. The bar itself jutted straight out of the center of the back wall, making the far corner of the room difficult to see, but the general sense she got from the place was lively yet peaceful.

She turned her focus back to Master Ywin and who she assumed to be their contact. They had arrived at their own table, which thankfully did not have a dancer near it, and their contact switched to Basic.

“Have you thought of any solution?” his voice pleaded.

“I have one idea,” Master Ywin said, “but it involves a lot of risk, and I am not certain either side will be willing to take such chances.”

“We will do anything if it gets us the help we need.”

Master Ywin nodded. “What I am suggesting is the use of privateers—”

“Pirates!?”

“I told you it was risky,” Master Ywin’s voice remained calm but turned stern. “These privateers would be commissioned by the Republic to bring your people aid in the form of food and medical supplies. This way, the Republic is not directly responsible, the ships are not Republic and thus will not be scrutinized, and your people receive the aid they require.”

“Master,” Rachel said, “won’t the Hutts catch on to the fact that the same ship keeps coming to their planet?”

“Different privateers can be hired and at varying intervals. These worlds are the hub for such people, and the Hutts are a proud people. They won’t notice a ship here and there going to and from one of their planets amongst all the others.”

Rachel nodded but still saw the risk. Pirates were dangerous. They could easily sell out their cargo for a bigger profit or simply refuse the job altogether if the Hutts looked too closely.

“I am not sure,” the man said. “Pirates are not my first option.”

“Padawan,” Master Ywin said, “go to the bar and order three Corellian ales. I think it would help us all relax a little.”

Rachel felt her forehead crease. She hadn’t thought her Master was one for drinking, but she nodded and went to the bar.

A tall female Twilek wearing hardly anything asked her what she’d like in Huttese, and thankfully Rachel was able to understand at least that much, but she didn’t feel confident enough to answer in the same language. She placed her order and looked back toward the table she’d just left.

They appeared to be having a normal conversation, but she couldn’t hear anything over the music and general noise. She didn’t feel entirely comfortable with the fact that Master Ywin had sent her away. She couldn’t be sure from this distance, but she thought their contact became suddenly tense, and Rachel reached out to try and get a feel for his mindset, but her own mind was flooded with a strange static. It felt as though her senses were overloaded, and she turned back to the bar to place a hand on her head to try and stop it from spinning.

It was then that she noticed that someone had come and stood next to her, and she tensed. She looked over at him and saw that he appeared like a human if humans were green and had scales. He was bald except for a short black ponytail on the back of his head, and he had a sharply featured face accentuated by ridged forehead. He wore only a sheer, purple robe and loose black pants, which only drew attention to how muscular his body was, and Rachel couldn’t help but stare.

The strange man looked at her and smiled, and the strange fuzziness in her brain made it hard to breathe. He was exceedingly handsome, and she felt herself drawn to him.

He didn’t use words, but with his striking green eyes and an outstretched, clawed hand, he led her away from the bar. She briefly thought about looking back towards Master Ywin, but her brain was riddled with the strange fuzziness again, and she couldn’t break away from the exotic man whose claws gently gripped her hand as he guided her out a back door into a small alley.

“Where are we going,” Rachel asked.

“Somewhere special,” his deep, melodic voice whispered back as he continued to lead her.

They came to a doorway that didn’t seem particularly special, but he smiled back at her as he opened the door, and she felt her knees involuntarily shake as she followed him inside.

The room they entered was lavishly furnished with many ornamented green and blue couches and chairs. There were pillows and cushions across the thickly carpeted floor. Even the deep green walls looked like they could be padded.

Her senses overloaded again the instant she walked in, and she tried to look around for incense sensors or oil lamps that could be burning, but she couldn’t see any. Whatever scent she smelled, though, was irresistible.

The being who had led her there, now led her over towards one of the couches where he then ran his hand up her arm, circled behind her, and slowly removed her outer robe.

She didn’t resist. His touch was electrifying, and it was warm in the room anyway. She found that even her other clothing was making her sweat.

“While we wait for my friend,” his voice purred into her ear, his nearness making it hard to breathe, “we can make ourselves as comfortable as we would like.”

He began placing gentle kisses along Rachel's neck until he came around in front of her, tugging at the robes, and she felt herself being pushed back onto the couch before she could even protest, but she found that she didn't want to. Every part of her wanted what this alien had to offer her. Her head tilted back as he again began to ravage her neck, pulling at the tie that kept her robes in place.

Her skin felt like it was on fire, and her clothes were constricting her, making her too warm. She needed them off, and the alien wanted them off.

As she attempted to shift her position, she felt the twinging in her knee, and it snapped her mind out of the daze. It felt like a burst of cold air, but it didn’t last long as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him as he kissed her hard, and her brain spun. This felt right, and this felt good, and she didn’t want it to stop.

But behind them, a loud booming voice echoed through the room.

“Waki mallya kuna chu chu!”

The alien scrambled off her, and Rachel felt dizzy as she took in the large Hutt that had slithered into the room.

“Apologies, Great One,” the alien said. “I didn’t think you would be here so soon, and—”

The Hutt roared something about making himself comfortable.

“I wanted to be sure she was up to your standards,” he said with a short bow.

“Mmmmm,” the Hutt rumbled deep in his throat as he turned his glare on Rachel.

She felt the fuzziness in her brain starting to lift, and she tried to cover herself with her fallen robes.

“Kava sa she?” the Hutt said, licking his disgusting lips.

The alien looked at her with a lustful smile and hunger in his eyes, and Rachel again felt the haziness creeping back over her mind. It was coming from him. Whatever this fuzziness was was coming from him.

“Delicious,” he said.

She tried to fight off whatever the alien seemed to be doing to her. They were making some kind of deal about her, and she didn’t like it, but she couldn’t resist how alluring he was. Somewhere in her mind, she knew she should be running, but something was stopping her. Something about him. The way he looked at her made her want him. She desired him. The conversation meant nothing, and she paid no attention to what they were saying until the Hutt boomed in a loud voice.

“Nobata Bargon! Peetch Azalus!”

“I assure you,” the alien said, “it is not dangerous. The other Jedi has no idea I took her away, but the longer you argue, the greater that risk becomes.”

Rachel felt along her hip and noticed that her lightsaber was gone. The sudden panic she felt as she tried to look for it on the couch was snuffed out as the alien took a step closer to her, reaching a hand to stroke her face, and her skin tingled beneath his touch. She couldn’t remember what had been so important as she looked up into his beautiful green eyes.

“She is fiery,” he said with a smile.

The Hutt said something about restraints, but she didn’t care in that moment. All she wanted was for the alien to come back onto the couch with her.

A deal seemed to be finalized, and Rachel didn’t struggle as she felt restraints put on her wrists behind her back.

“I do apologize,” the alien said, stroking her cheek with a clawed finger. “We could have had such fun.”

In that instant, a hood was pulled over her head, and she was shoved into darkness. There was an odd odor that she had never smelled before, and she no longer felt the strange haziness clouding her mind as panic took its place.

She was in trouble. Before she could make any noise to bring attention to herself, however, she felt herself growing sleepy, and it wasn’t long before she allowed her eyes to close and collapse into someone’s arms.

Chapter Text

When Rachel startled awake, she could still hear a booming laugh in her head, but it took her a while to believe that she was actually awake because she had never worn as little clothing as she now had on. And what was—?

She felt a sharp zap of electricity as she tried to take off what felt like a metal collar from her neck. When the same thing happened again, she realized that it was going to have to stay there.

Trying to cover herself as much as she could with her arms, she looked around.

She was in a dark, warm room that felt wet. The walls were a reddish-brown metal, and there was a small, barred door. Other than that, there wasn’t much to see. The inside of the room only had the small mattress she woke up on on the floor and what she could only guess was a pot to relieve herself in in the corner.

Standing up, she walked over to the barred door to try and look out, but she couldn’t see anything except the wall across from the cell.

She had a horrible feeling.

Master Ywin hadn’t noticed her leaving the bar with the alien, and the fact that she had let the alien coax her away irritated her. How had he done that? He’d clouded her senses and corrupted her judgement and made her walk willingly into a trap.

She shuddered at the memory of his hands touching her and closed her eyes to try and meditate on her emotions and drive away the rising anger and disgust. As she did so, she took a deep breath and reached out to sense if there were others nearby.

There were.

Down one hall were two strange minds whose thoughts were riddled with fear and were set on keeping order in the prison.

There were other prisoners, but she didn’t get the chance to look closer into their minds other than to sense their fear because another mind approached that was determined and sure. He had a job, and if he didn’t follow through, bad things would come from it.

The being was a Twilek, and he stopped in front of Rachel’s door, his eyes travelling up and down her body making her feel uncomfortable.

He said something in Huttese, but she didn’t respond even though she thought he asked her how she was feeling. She thought it would be better if she pretended not to understand him.

“Perhaps,” he said in a raspy, heavily accented voice, “Basic would be better?”

There was no way around that one, so she nodded.

“It will go better for you if you learn at least some of the Hutt’s language,” he said, an eerie smile creeping over his face as his eyes again travelled her body. “It would be a pitiful waste for them to kill such beauty so soon.”

It didn’t take long for Rachel to understand the Twilek’s words.

She was put to work in a cantina similar to the one she had been taken out of, except this one was filled with Hutts. There were other women dressed similarly to her, and they were all waiting on the Hutts’ every whim.

Some of them seemed to have more freedom than others, she noticed. While she was chained to one of the Hutts, there were some who walked around without chains. They all wore the metal collars though, and Rachel saw them in use twice already. If the slave didn’t do as the Hutt wanted, they received an electric shock from the collar.

Rachel did her best to please the Hutt she was assigned to, but she had some trouble understanding him. Another of the women seemed to notice and tried to help her as best she could.

It wasn’t until the fifth night of working like this that Rachel began to wonder if Master Ywin would ever come to rescue her, or if he even knew where to begin looking for her. He hadn’t seen her leave the bar, and even if he had, he wouldn’t have seen a Hutt.

One of the other slave women identified the alien who had taken her as a Falleen; a species notorious for having the same effect on many others as he had had on her. While many worked with the Hutts, there were also many who didn’t. So even if her Master had seen the Falleen take her, it was no guarantee that he would know there was a connection to the Hutts or to which Hutts.

After eight days, Rachel tried to use mind-manipulation on the Hutt who controlled her chain to see if he would give her a little more freedom, but it turned out that either a Hutt’s mind wasn’t malleable, or she wasn’t doing it right.

She was running out of ideas and running low on hope. If the Jedi didn’t find her, how was she supposed to get herself out of this?

If she could find her lightsaber, she knew she could have a fighting chance. She tried to meditate after almost two weeks. She struggled to find an inner calm in order to focus, but when she finally managed it, she searched for the beating heart of her lightsaber’s crystal, hoping to hear it calling for her. But no matter how far she reached, she couldn’t hear it.

Weeks began to go by, and she found that finding time to be by herself became harder and harder to get. She felt the scrutiny of the Hutts, and she wasn’t sure who among the other slave women she could trust. She tried to use the Force to sense their minds, but some of them seemed impervious to her and others were hostile altogether.

The Hutt she was chained to changed from time to time either due to the Hutt’s boredom or because they liked to keep things fresh for themselves.

One day, she found herself chained to a new Hutt, and he was very unpleasant, but while he didn’t seem to want her near him, he wasn’t about to unchain her. The second day of her service to him, a bounty hunter came to him with a Rodian frozen in carbonite. Apparently, it was a job that the Hutt wanted done, and he went to pay for it, but the bounty hunter looked at Rachel and pointed at her.

“Nobata Bargon!” The Hutt bellowed. Apparently, she wasn’t meant to be given as payment either.

But the bounty hunter merely shrugged and started to take the frozen Rodian away.

The Hutt yelled at him, and they negotiated for a while, but Rachel tuned it out. What did it matter who she served? Although, perhaps, if she went with the bounty hunter, she could fight her way free.

“Deal,” the bounty hunter said, and he turned to Rachel. She wasn’t sure what kind of deal they had made, but she didn’t like the look in the hunter’s eyes.

The Hutt handed her chain to the bounty hunter, and he led her to a back room that the Hutts reserved for ‘private meetings’, and Rachel learned quickly what kind of deal the two had worked out.

She never felt more disgusted as when the bounty hunter handed her chains back to the Hutt. Knowing she was a slave was one thing, but knowing she could be used that way appalled her, and she wanted nothing more than to escape, but she knew she couldn’t. There were Hutts, guards, pirates, bounty hunters, and all kinds of scum everywhere. She was chained and wore a slave collar. There was no way she was doing this alone.

The next opportunity she had where she was alone, she tried to meditate. Her inner calm eluded her, though, and it was difficult to reach out to the Force.

Opening her eyes, she tried to think of how she found peace. Where did she find it?

The woods back on Earth. The gardens and clearing in the Mitth homestead. The Room of a Thousand Fountains. The Lake. If she could just picture these places…

A loud clanging sound echoed down the hall.

She couldn’t picture anything green or growing. Unless of course it was the mossy scummy whatever it was that was growing on the walls of her cell.

Pulling her knees up to her chest, she leaned back against the wall, feeling the cool metal against her bare skin. Everything looked dark.

She tried to remember back to when things had been ok—when she had last felt ok—and as she closed her eyes, she saw the living area of a ship. Everything was white, gray, or black, so she knew it was a Chiss vessel. In the chair across from her sat Thran, and his smile was warm and genuine. She felt her forehead tense as she tried to hold back tears.

The Council had forbidden her from reaching out to Thran. That had been months ago. Right after the Syndicure had banished her from Chiss Space. It was a double blow that left her feeling baseless. While she had kept up her training, her heart hadn’t been in it as much as it had been before, and she wondered if that was why her Master had begun to pull away from her training. Whenever she had a setback or needed reassurance, and Master Ywin didn’t offer it, she wanted to turn to Thran, but she couldn’t.

Being with him was the last time she had felt ok and felt safe even though they had been on their way to their respective sentences.

She tried to think about him and about that day, but it didn’t offer her the calm she needed, so she thought further back. When he had first told her that he promised to be her friend had been in the clearing—a place where she found peace. While she hadn’t believed him at first, it was where he had first promised it.

The memory came into her mind easily, but it still didn’t offer her the inner peace she needed in order to meditate.

These moments were in the past. She needed to meditate on the present and find peace in the here and now. That was what Master Ywin had taught her.

She heard a blood curdling scream from down the hall and felt the hair on her body stand on end.

There was no peace here. Only fear.

Thran heard his comm going off, and a small part of him hoped it would be Rachel responding to the message he’d sent, but when he saw his father’s signal, he almost decided to ignore it.

“Father?” he answered.

“Thran, I think something has happened that you should know about,” his father’s voice came somberly.

“What do you mean?” Thinking the Syndicure changed their minds again.

“One of the recent explorations into Republic Space brought back a strange report,” he said. “And it’s concerning.”

He relaxed a little. “Something another planet is planning against the Chiss?”

“No, nothing like that. Our explorers were near Hutt Space trying to learn more about them when they heard a rumor that a Jedi had gone missing. The Hutts seemed pleased with it, but I worry because the missing Jedi matches Ra’chel’s description.”

Every muscle in his body went rigid as a pit formed in his stomach.

“‘A young female Jedi Knight with black hair and a strong figure has been taken from Nar Shaddaa, and the Jedi are looking for any and all information to her whereabouts.’” He paused. “When did you last speak with her?”

“The last time we spoke was before the Syndicure ruled against her after the mishap on Rattatak.”

“The ruling you convinced them to overturn. Did you tell her it was?”

“I sent her a message saying so, but she has not returned the message. I thought the Jedi were barring her from contacting me, but if it’s her that’s gone missing—” He couldn’t allow himself the thought. “No. It can’t be. I will contact her again. She’s too strong for something like that to happen, and her Master would have protected her and wouldn’t let such a thing happen.”

“Learn what you can,” his father said. “I will continue to look out for further reports, but it worries me. I like her, and I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

“I will call her immediately,” Thran said.

“Let me know if you find anything else out.”

“I will.”

He hung up and immediately felt his mind spin as all kinds of thoughts and scenarios began to form.

“No,” he whispered to himself. She couldn’t be gone. Surely it was merely the Jedi who kept her from contacting him. She couldn’t have gone missing. It had to be someone else.

But if it was her…

He hated the idea of what the Hutts might do to her. They were a vile species, and he was glad to have never encountered one.

Reaching out to activate the comm, he noticed his hand shaking and clenched his fist to make it stop.

When he finally thought he had control over himself, he activated the comm and waited.

It was several minutes before he determined that she wouldn’t answer.

What if…

“Ra’chel,” he began the recording, “I still do not know if the Jedi are refusing to allow your communication, but reports have crossed my father’s desk that he has felt he should share with me, and I have found them disturbing. Some of our explorers in Republic space have heard rumors that a Jedi has gone missing while on a mission on Nar Shaddaa. A female Jedi, and the reports matched your description.” He felt his voice begin to waver, so he tensed his jaw in an attempt to hide what he felt, but the thought of her being gone hurt and angered him. “Please…I do not care what the Jedi have dictated. I will go to the Jedi Temple myself if I must.” His voice gave out, so he swallowed and took a breath to calm himself. “I need to know you are all right, Ra’chel. Please.”

The entire next day, he waited to hear from her, but there was no response. For a week, he waited for some kind of answer or report. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and did go to the Jedi Temple, but the guard blocked his entry.

“I want to speak with Ra’chel Ba’kandi,” he told the guard. “At least tell me she is here.”

“I am not at liberty to discuss the whereabouts of any Jedi,” the guard said neutrally. “If you have a means of contacting her, then I would suggest using it to learn where she is.”

“And if she had been ordered to not contact me?” His anger threatened to break through the stoic wall he had carefully crafted.

“Then I’m afraid you will have to let her go.”

“She is my friend,” he urged him. “I need to know that she is safe.”

“Why would she not be safe here?”

“I have heard the reports and rumors that a Jedi matching her description was taken from Nar Shadaa. Is that true?”

“I do not have any confirmation for you. I am not—”

“Not at liberty to discuss her whereabouts,” he cut him off. “You have made that clear. Can I speak with Jedi Master Zhulung? Or Master Ywin?”

“If you wish to speak with the Council, there is a way to do so through the Senate,” the guard said. “You are a Senator, aren’t you?”

“I am an Ambassador for the Chiss Ascendency.”

“All the same. You can ask for Jedi assistance through the Senate, should you require it.”

“That is all?” Thran asked, exasperated. “You can give me no information? Not even to tell me if she is safe?”

“Your feelings are quite strong, Ambassador. I suggest you allow yourself to let go. Such feelings are not acceptable for the Jedi, and this is likely why the Council is barring you from communicating with Padawan Bakandi.”

“I cannot. She is my friend, and I promised I would always be here for her. If she is hurt or missing—”

“If such a thing happened,” the guard interrupted, “then the Council will do everything it can to find her.”

“But you cannot confirm or deny that she is the one missing.”

“I am not at liberty to do so.”

Thran glared at the guard before turning to leave without another word. His anger fumed from the tension built up in his chest. They wouldn’t even tell him if she was safe. He needed to know.

He tried to contact the Council the following day, but they refused to speak with him or give any kind of information.

He sent her another message that night.

“The Jedi denied me any kind of information,” he choked out through a tight throat. “They would not let me into the Temple. They would not tell me if it was you or not. They would not even tell me if the rumors were true or false. Please, Ra’chel. I need to know that you are all right. I do not care what the Jedi have mandated against me or against our friendship. I care about you, and I need to know that you are safe. Please.”

Every ounce of emotion threatened to overwhelm him, and he had to end the call before he let her see how much pain he was in. The lack of information disturbed him, and he feared that his friend was lost.

He couldn’t focus on any work for days, and those days turned into weeks without word from her. His father told him about more rumors, but he received no further information. He began to think the worst, but his heart didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t be dead. But what other conclusion was there?

Chapter Text

Rachel had lost herself in the mundaneness of the work the Hutts made her do, she made herself numb to what extra favors they offered her up as, and she’d given up hope. How long she had been wherever she was, she didn’t know, and she found herself no longer caring. She resigned herself to the fact that no one was coming for her.

That was, until, one day, she saw someone she knew. The Falleen who had started this whole thing stood at the bar, but he no longer seemed quite so sure of himself. In fact, he seemed to be looking over his shoulder almost every other minute. Did he know this was where she had been taken? Did he think she was capable of or even able to get revenge?

“Mi yarga!” The Hutt she was currently chained to yelled at her.

“Ok, ok,” Rachel tried to soothe her. “I’m going to get you a drink.”

“Dopa,” the Hutt spat back.

“Ok, two,” Rachel said.

She made her way to the bar, feeling the weight of the chain dragging behind her, hoping no one stepped on it.

When she made it to the bar and ordered the Hutt’s drinks, she saw that the Falleen noticed her.

“You’re alive!” His melodic voice came in a hushed tone as he quickly looked around.

“No thanks to you,” Rachel spat out.

“I do apologize,” he said. “Sincerely. I was given a job, and I fulfilled it dutifully. I never expected the Jedi to bring down such harsh punishment however.”

“The Jedi?”

“Yes,” he said, looking around again and lowered his voice even more. “They are looking for you. They questioned me. Looked inside my mind. But I did not know where the Hutts took you. Truly.”

“If I wasn’t chained—”

“Your drinks,” the bartender said. “And you’d better hurry. Your Hutt looks rather upset.”

“Thank you,” Rachel said, grabbing the drinks and shooting a harsh glare at the Falleen.

She turned and walked back towards her Hutt with the drinks. Despite what she thought of him, the Falleen had given her a small spark of hope. The Jedi were looking for her. They hadn’t given up on her.

But how long ago had that been? He didn’t know she was alive. How long ago did the Jedi question him? Did they find him right away, and had looked for her in those first few days and weeks? It had been far longer than that now. They must have given up by now.

The spark was gone by the time she reached the Hutt with the two drinks which were hastily gulped down. Rachel grabbed the bowl of strange looking grub-like food they kept alive, knowing that she liked to eat.

Sure enough, she reached exactly where Rachel stood without even looking, grabbed one of the creatures and ate it as it screeched.

Rachel looked towards the bar where the Falleen still stood looking back at her.

He hadn’t used whatever tricks he’d used last time on her. Had he been sincere?

She tried to reach into his mind and sense his intentions. Remorse and guilt were not something she expected for a being like him. Lust, she expected, but not guilt. The fact that he still craved her despite all he had done made her angry. Still, it wasn’t at the forefront of his mind.

No. She wasn’t going to fall for whatever tricks he had this time. No matter how alluring he was. Besides, he would need the Hutts permission before he could do anything.

As it turned out, though, the Hutts wanted to talk to him. What they discussed, she didn’t know. She couldn’t hear. But he looked in her direction more times than she liked. He was definitely talking about her or bargaining for her.

Her chain was so sharply and suddenly jerked that it caused her to stumble, and she found herself next to the Hutts and Falleen as she stood up.

He stepped up to her and brushed a clawed hand down her cheek. “I promise we’ll be quick.”

He was speaking to the Hutts, but something in his eyes told Rachel that he was trying to sell something.

And she got it. The last time he had done that, her brain had been overloaded with a strange fuzziness that had made her crave him. This time, he wasn’t having that effect. Whatever he had done the last time, he wasn’t doing now, but he was pretending to, and she needed to play along.

But how?

Clearly, just gazing into his eyes worked because the Hutts dismissed them with a wave of their hand and slithered away. Her Hutt handed the Falleen her chain, and he directed her towards one of the back rooms.

Once they were inside, he turned to her.

“We do not have a lot of time,” he said quickly.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Rachel blurted out.

He stared at her. “Trying to save your life,” he said sharply. “But if you’re not interested, perhaps you would prefer I take you as my mate.”

She tensed.

“Then I suggest you listen.”

“You realize there are cameras watching,” Rachel said, trying to motion as non-discreetly as she could in the direction of the ever-watchful camera.

“Does it listen as well?”

“I don’t know,” Rachel admitted. “I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

“Well, perhaps we’d better put on a show,” he said. “Or find a way to innocently cover it.”

Rachel looked around. There were no blankets, only cushions and pillows.

“I apologize,” he whispered, walking toward her and placing his hands on her waist. “For the show.”

But Rachel could sense his lust as well as he guided her toward the couch that was closest to the camera laying her back on it as he kissed down her neck.

She leaned her head back both to pretend she was enjoying it and to avert her eyes from the fact that he was removing his pants.

But when he threw them and they landed perfectly over the camera, she could see why.

“You couldn’t have done that with your robe?” she asked, trying not to look at him as they shifted to sitting positions.

“It’s too sheer, and the camera would still be able to see through it,” he said. “Again, I apologize. If you would prefer, I can exude some of my pheromones so that you enjoy it rather than finding it unpleasant.”

“Is that what you did to me?”

“Have you never met someone like me before?”

“No,” she bit out. “I’ve never seen someone like you until you decided to take advantage of me!”

“I do not know how many times I can apologize,” he said. “But it was for a job, and I assure you that I will not be taking such employment again.”

“Yet you’re here.”

“On behalf of the Jedi.”

She turned to look at his face, trying to ignore the rest of him.

“They are looking for you, and I was their best lead.”

“Master Ywin found you?”

“The Jedi I lured you away from, yes. He was most unpleasant. He discovered me trying to lure another woman away and questioned me. He…looked inside my mind. I was taken to Coruscant to the rest of the Jedi and questioned further. I was persuaded to help them find you.”

“It took you this long?”

“Do you know how large Hutt Space is?”

Rachel felt her jaw clench. She didn’t. She remembered seeing it highlighted on the holomap she had tried to study on her trip aboard the Star-Jumper, but she never really studied it further.

“It took a long time to track down the Hutt I had worked with. He disappeared once he found out I had been arrested, but now that I know you are here, I can tell the Jedi, and you can be freed.”

“If the Jedi can do anything.”

Master Ywin had told her that the Republic had almost no foothold or say in Hutt matters. What they did inside their empire was their own business, and the Republic left them alone.

“I believe they will be able to, in a sense, buy you from them and free you,” the Falleen said, a sadness in his tone. “I would try myself, but I do not have those kinds of funds.”

“And I suppose your pheromones don’t affect Hutts like they do normal humans?”

“They do not, but I like your thinking.”

“So you plan on leaving here and going back to the Jedi and telling them where I am, and they’ll come get me?”

“That is the plan.”

She nodded and looked at the door. Finally, she had hope for freedom. It only relied on the person who was responsible for her capture in the first place. It required a huge amount of trust.

Reaching out to sense his mind, she sensed that he was being sincere. While, primally, he craved her, and he had the opportunity right in front of him, he chose to restrain himself and help her.

“All right,” she said, feeling herself relax slightly.

She felt him nod and sensed a nervousness from him.

“I suppose we had better finish our little charade.”

They had decided that he would exude a small amount of pheromones in order to put her in a daze as they exited the room, but Rachel found that they quickly wore off as she resumed her duties. But she knew she needed to pretend that she remained infatuated with the Falleen in order to keep up the farce they had created.

When she was dismissed back to her cell, she wondered how long it would be before the Jedi came for her.

Chapter Text

Rachel tried to count the days after the Falleen left, but as the number grew, her hope of rescue diminished. She began to wonder if the they really wanted her back. She had caused a lot of problems for them—this would be an easy way to get rid of her. Or maybe the Falleen had been insincere after all, and her ability to use the Force was what was no longer effective.

All she knew for sure was that no one came.

She had been reassigned twice, and there was still no mention of her chain being taken off. What was discussed was some kind of celebration event, and from what she could gather from the Hutts’ conversations and other slaves, it sounded almost like a big gladiator type tournament. It was going to happen in two weeks, and Rachel hoped that she wouldn’t have to go, but almost all the slaves would have to work in some capacity. If she was somehow able to get out of it, she would be left in her cell, and a rescue or escape would be easier if all the Hutts were elsewhere.

But as the day approached, it seemed less and less likely that she would be left behind, and when the day came, she was chained to a Hutt named Drigo sitting nearest to the gladiator’s ring.

The building itself reminded her of something from ancient Roman times, but since the world was covered in jungle, the coliseum was made of a darker rock, and instead of sand, half of the arena was muddy from recent rains. Surrounding the pit in ringed stands were Hutts, humans, and aliens of all kinds watched in eagerness, placing bets, and cheering or booing. From what Rachel could gather though, winning didn’t get the slaves anywhere. While they earned their freedom from the Hutts, she heard that winners went to work in the spice mines on this moon. She didn’t know which would be worse, but, thankfully, she didn’t have to make that decision.

The whole thing was barbaric, in her opinion, and she tried not to watch, but Drigo tugged her chains forward and asked why she wasn’t enjoying it.

“Apologies, Great One,” she said, trying to sound sincere. “I prefer other entertainment.”

It wasn’t a full lie, but she knew that if she told him the truth she could just as easily find herself in the ring being the next victim, and while she knew she might have a chance of winning, she wasn’t sure she was ready for a life working in the mines.

She tried to walk back to where she had been standing, but the Hutt pulled her even closer to the point where she was pressed against his slimy skin, and he ran a cold, wet hand down her cheek, telling her that other entertainment could be arranged if she didn’t start watching.

Clenching her jaw, she told the Hutt she’d watch, and he released his tight grip on her chain.

She shuddered as she stepped away from his massive hulk of a body and tried to make herself watch the fighting.

It was brutal. Some of the slaves didn’t stand a chance against the larger framed, bulkier fighters, and then they would send in creatures, and a group of them would try to fight, and most would die before they brought the beast to its demise.

She almost envied them. With their deaths, they were free from slavery. All around her, she could feel the anger, the fear, the exuberance, and the death. It was too much.

She closed her eyes and tried to meditate the emotions away like she used to, but there was no peace here. At least, not in this theater. So she tried to reach further, beyond the jeering and thunder of hundreds of voices. There was life on this moon. There were trees and plants and animals that lived here. Taking a slow breath, she focused on their life and let it fill her. It was something she hadn’t touched since before Master Ywin took her to Nar Shaddaa. She didn’t even know how long ago that had been.

The life of the planet surrounding the arena filled her, and for the first time in a very long time, she felt at peace, and her body relaxed. Her mind eased into meditation, and she was able to ignore the chaos that surrounded her as she felt at one with the tallest trees surrounding the arena, the smallest birds trying to go about their days, and the planet as it breathed life through the Force.

Until the chain that connected her to Drigo literally pulled her from the peace and back into reality.

“Waki mallya kuna chu chu?” the Hutt boomed as she slammed into his body.

“I’m not doing anything,” she stammered.

But the Hutt didn’t seem to believe her.

“Uba Jedi!”

She could only stare at him, her eyes wide with fear. He could kill her right there if he wanted to, but she didn’t understand how he knew she had been meditating  or that she was a Jedi until she looked over her shoulder.

One of the creatures had come up to the edge of the pit and was looking right at her. The fighters in the ring stood in confusion. The beast was trained to attack them, but this one had come over and was peacefully looking at a slave girl who had been standing motionless by the barrier to the pit.

Drigo called for a guard and ordered him to take her to the gladiator pit and force her to fight in the ring. To the death.

When Rachel entered the ring, she felt like an ant as she looked up at the crowd seated around. She had thankfully been given a weapon. They at least wanted to make her death a spectacle instead of an outright execution, but as she looked around at the other slaves, none of them seemed overly eager to fight her. Apparently, whatever she had done to the beast frightened them enough to the point where they didn’t believe she was worth the effort.

So, they resumed fighting each other, and Rachel walked near the edge over to the beast she had somewhat tamed. It reminded her of a rhinoceros in a way, but its skin was red and black, and instead of one horn on its nose, it also had horns jutting out on either side of its jaw.

She reached out a hand, and it snorted at her, so she reached out with the Force as well and sensed its mind. It was frightened. It had been trained its whole life for this and nothing else.

She wondered—if she could sense its intentions and thoughts, could she persuade it to do other things. She had calmed it without even trying. What could she do intentionally?

She looked up at the stands where most of the patrons were still watching the fighting that was going on between the other slaves in the pit, but there weren’t many fighters left, and she knew that once there was only one left, she would have no choice but to fight them. Looking back at the beast, she pictured the stands in her mind. Could it jump?

Immediately, it took off running towards the far wall, pushing right through the group of combatants, and it jumped right over the barrier wall that separated the pit from those who were watching.

The chaos that ensued was almost comical.

Hutts tried to slither and squirm out of the beast’s way, meanwhile the other aliens in the stands were trying to get out of the Hutts’ ways for fear of being crushed under the giant slugs’ weight.

While the beast sought its freedom, Rachel turned back to the fighters that remained in the ring. They had also stopped fighting to watch the hilarity transpire.

With everyone seemingly distracted, Rachel turned in the opposite direction and looked for her own escape. There was a small opening where some of the patrons had started to run toward exits, and she knew that if she trusted the Force, she would be able to jump out of the arena.

She ran and drew on the Force as she felt it surround her, and she jumped clear of the barrier separating the pit from the stands, then jumped up towards the fifth row of seats, then the tenth, then the sixteenth—and felt electricity course through her body bringing her convulsing to the ground hard before she could make it to the top of the coliseum.

She had been so close, but she had forgotten the collar around her neck. She lied there looking up at the sky and hearing the screams of aliens and Hutts echoing through the auditorium.

When she finally managed to sit up, she realized that there had to be some kind of barrier around the coliseum to prevent slaves from doing exactly what she was doing. She turned and saw someone in a dark cloak approaching her at a run, but he didn’t have a slave remote or weapon in his hand. It wasn’t until he was nearly right in front of her that she finally recognized him.

“Master Zev?”

He lowered his hood. “Rachel.” his voice held an odd mix of emotions she had never heard before. “C’mon. We do not have much time.”

“We need to get this off,” she said pointing at the collar around her neck.

He looked at it. “Hold still.”

He took out his lightsaber, and ignited it very briefly, but it cut through the collar, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot through her one last time.

“I’m sorry,” he said, but the collar fell to the ground.

“Let’s go,” Rachel said, brushing it off.

“Master Ywin is waiting with a shuttle,” he said as they ran up the steps towards the top of the auditorium. “We can disappear into the trees and make our way there.”

When they reached the very top, they didn’t hesitate as they jumped towards the closest outstretched tree branch that would hold their weight, and Rachel winced as the bark scraped every inch of exposed skin as she caught the limb, and they carefully made their way towards the center of the large tree where the limb grew to an enormous size.

They jumped down from limb to limb until they landed on the jungle floor among all the bushes and shrubs, and Rachel found herself wishing she had some kind of covering. The leaves and branches scratched at her skin as they ran, but she tried to ignore it as she followed Master Zev deeper into the jungle. Despite the echoes of the gladiator tournament fading away behind her, she couldn’t help turning back every few steps to check for a Hutt in pursuit, but all she could hear were the screeches of birds and the distant roars and rumbles of jungle creatures.

Master Zev slowed to a walk, breathing hard as Rachel caught up to him, feeling where every scratch stung her body, and he seemed to notice and took off his robe and handed it to her.

“I know it won’t help a lot, but hopefully it will help some.”

She took it and wrapped it around herself, feeling the warmth and familiarity of the Jedi robe. It brushed against the scratches that already bled, but it would at least prevent any new ones.

“Where’s the shuttle,” she asked.

“Not far,” he responded, turning to face her and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I am so sorry, Rachel. I wish we could’ve come sooner.”

She shook her head and brushed his hand off, taking half a step back. “You came. That’s what matters.”

His eyes reflected concern, but he didn’t press the issue as he turned and pointed. “This way.”

They walked for a fair distance before he spoke up again.

“How did you set off the Reek the way you did?”

“Is that what that creature’s called?” she asked.

He chuckled. “You still have a lot to learn, don’t you?”

She shook her head. “There’s still so much that I don’t know.”

“And yet you were able to control the actions of a creature you had never encountered before.”

“I don’t know how I did it initially,” she admitted. “Being here is the first time I’ve been able to feel life again. There were no trees or animals or plants that I could sense where I was being held.”

She could sense sympathy growing in him, which felt odd coming from a Jedi Master.

“When I realized I could feel the planet, I took advantage of it and allowed myself to meditate. I haven’t really been able to since being captured. The next thing I knew, I was being called out for being a Jedi because the—what did you call it?”

“A reek.”

“The reek was standing in front of me and just staring at me instead of fighting like it was supposed to. They forced me to fight.”

“Yes, I saw,” he interrupted. “I was meant to find you here and rescue you, but you did a decent job of rescuing yourself.”

“Not really.”

“You convinced a wild animal to rampage through a crowd and took advantage of that chaos to escape.”

“I was still wearing a slave collar,” Rachel exclaimed. “I couldn’t have escaped even if I wanted to. They probably would have killed me for what I did.”

He was silent for a moment. “I suppose it was good that Master Ywin and I came when we did then.”

They walked the remaining distance to the shuttle in silence. It was tucked under a camouflage tarp, and Master Ywin paced nearby.

As they approached, he stopped and looked up.

“Let’s go,” Master Zev said, grabbing the tarp and pulling. “It won’t be long before they start scrutinizing every shuttle and ship that tries to leave.”

“Agreed,” Master Ywin said, not taking his eyes off Rachel. She wasn’t sure what kind of greeting she expected from her Master, but a lack of greeting wasn’t on the list. She tried to read his eyes, but they were just as stoic as ever as he turned and helped Master Zev pull the tarp off the ship. They all boarded, and Master Ywin prepared the ship for launch.

Rachel sat in the living area of the small shuttle, clutching Master Zev’s robe around herself, trying to get a feel for how her Master was feeling, but his mind was a cold barrier.

When they cleared the planet’s space and entered hyperspace, Master Zev came back and showed her where she could sleep and that they had brought her extra set of robes with them.

And her lightsaber.

She looked at Master Zev questioningly as she picked it up and held it in her hand, feeling its familiar weight and the heartbeat of her crystal.

“When Master Ywin found the Falleen, he still had it,” he explained. “I’ll let you change and rest.”

He walked out, and she spent some time in the refresher washing her cuts and scrapes and trying to wash away what happened. She changed into the fresh robes, grateful for the covering and warmth they provided. She’d hated being exposed so much and for so long. She’d almost forgotten how real clothing felt.

When she lied down on the bed, she tried to process it all. How much time had passed? How long had the Jedi been looking for her? Would the Hutts come looking for her?

She wrapped her arms tightly around herself at that thought. She never wanted to see a Hutt or hear Huttese again as long as she lived. Rolling over, she closed her eyes and wished for a peaceful sleep.

Chapter Text

Upon returning to the Jedi Temple, she learned that she had been gone for six months, and part of her couldn’t believe that it had taken them that long to find her. Had they even tried?

The Council didn’t ask her for any kind of report outside of asking a few questions, and they had her report to the infirmary to make certain she was physically all right. After spending a day there, she spent time meditating in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, trying to forget everything that happened.

When she finally allowed herself to return to her room, she noticed that her Chiss communicator was still sitting on the shelf where she had left it. Part of her wanted to reach out to Thran, but she knew that she still wasn’t supposed to. The Jedi had forbidden it, and the Chiss had banished her. As she stared at it, though, she noticed that it was blinking. That usually meant that there was a message for her to listen to.

But just then, Master Ywin called her on her wrist comm and told her to report to the training room to practice her lightsaber skills. He thought it would be a good distraction, and he wanted to make sure they were still up to par after so much time had passed. She looked back at the Chiss comm and wondered what kind of message had been left for her. Only Thran knew she had it, right? But he had been forbidden from contacting her.

She would listen to it later.

She went down to the training room and found that, despite her lack of practice, she was still able to hold her own against her Master, though she did inevitably lose. There was a reason he was the Battlemaster of the Order after all. He wanted her to go again, saying she needed to get out of her own head and focus on the present. This time, he wanted her to duel against the training droids so he could watch her form, but his comm went off, and he informed her that he needed to report to the Council Chamber.

She nodded and activated two of the training droids, but she only got two rounds in with them before Master Ywin called her to inform her that they would be undertaking a mission. This one to the planet of Alderaan. There was a dispute between the ruling families of the planet as to who should be taking the throne, and there had been a kidnapping and threats made on multiple fronts. They had been called upon to mediate between them all, find the person who had been kidnapped, and find a peaceful resolution.

At least there were no Hutts involved.

As Rachel prepared to leave, she looked again at the Chiss comm where it sat. If Master Ywin saw her with it, he would likely be furious, but she wanted to know who had contacted her.

Curiosity won out, and she shoved the comm into her bag. As she opened the door to leave, she was startled to find Master Zev standing right outside.

“Padawan,” he greeted her.

“Master Zev.”

“I wanted to check in with you after everything that happened and in light of this next mission. You’re sure you’re up for it?”

“Do I have a choice?” She hefted her bag over her shoulder and began to walk down the hall. She realized her answer may have come off a bit rude, but she wasn’t sure how else to answer. She hadn’t been given a choice. Master Ywin told her to prepare and meet him at the hangar, so that’s what she did.

“Why wouldn’t you have a choice?” He had followed her. “What you went through on Nar Shaddaa, with the Hutts, and on Ylesia was more than you should have had to.”

“A Jedi doesn’t dwell on the past,” she recited. “The present is the only thing we can control.”

“Master Ywin has been teaching you well,” he said. “Yet the past can still have effects on us even if we do not see it. Meditate on it.”

He stopped walking with her as they reached the turbolift, and Rachel tried to think on his words. They seemed to contradict what Master Ywin had been teaching her.

Her Master was waiting aboard the shuttle—its engines already prepped for takeoff.

“What kept you?” he asked from the pilot’s seat as she boarded.

“Master Zev wanted to speak with me,” she responded.

“Hmm,” he thought aloud. “Here,” he handed her a datacard. “Information on Alderaan and its people. Find a datapad and a seat back there and strap in.”

She did so and prepared for the short trip to the new planet.

She read all the datacard had in its files. Alderaan was ruled by families or one family in particular, and the rest all vied to gain the throne in one way or another. The means to become the heir seemed complicated and sounded similar to the Jedi Trials in a way, but it was the planet itself that she fell in love with. It reminded her of home with its snowy mountains and preserved landscapes, and she was looking forward to seeing it.

Master Ywin didn’t speak to her during the fourteen-hour trip. He didn’t even leave the cockpit. Rachel thought about speaking with him, but she didn’t even know what to say. He hadn’t really said anything to her since he and Master Zev rescued her.

Did he care? Was he ashamed of her? Mad at her? Mad at himself? She couldn’t tell. He kept his emotions tightly in check if he had any.

Looking over at her bag, she wondered if it would be a bad time to pull out the Chiss comm and listen to whatever message was waiting for her. But the shuttle they were on didn’t have any private rooms because it was a short hyperspace jump to Alderaan. She decided it would be best to wait until she had privacy.

As the shuttle exited hyperspace, Rachel went to the cockpit to see if Alderaan was how she pictured it, and as they came in to land, she saw the mountain ranges covered in snow, the wide grassy plains where rivers carved their paths from mountains to lakes. There was so much life—even from this altitude, she could feel it flooding her mind and filling her entire being.

She loved it.

Somehow, she knew that if the Force existed back home, she would feel this exact sensation so long as the rest of Earth’s chaos didn’t flood her mind as it had before.

They were given clearance to land, and Rachel looked over at her Master, trying to gauge his thoughts, but he was still unreadable.

“How are we handling this, Master?” she tried to engage him.

“What have you read about Alderaan?” he asked her.

“It’s governed by a monarchy of sorts,” she tried to find the right words. “The Organas currently have the throne, and their heir is certain,” She was guessing at that last part. She remembered that name most prominently, so that had to be why, right?

“The Organa prince’s son, Erele, has been kidnapped by one of the other families in their attempt to seize the throne by force,” Master Ywin said. “They can’t have their next heir if he doesn’t exist. Our job is to figure out which family took him and find out how to appease the others who are making accusations and threats.”

“How old is his son?”

“Eight.”

Just a child. Rachel stared out the viewport as the shuttle landed in the spaceport. There were a couple other ships parked, but there were very few people walking about. She had read that the main population of Alderaan was human and, thankfully, the primary language was Basic. No Hutts. No Huttese.

As they exited the shuttle, a group of four humans walked toward them, all of them dressed elegantly in long robes of deep blue of various patterns and lined in gold and silver. Three of them appeared to be guards, from what Rachel could sense, while the fourth was a middle-aged man with tanned skin, dark hair, and dark brown eyes. He was just starting to show signs of graying around his temples and ears.

“Welcome to Alderaan,” he greeted them. “I am Prince Veak Organa. I believe you spoke with my father, Master Jedi.”

“Master Kyan Ywin,” her Master bowed to the prince. “Yes, we spoke with him. Our condolences about your son. We will do everything we can to find him as quickly as possible. This is my Padawan, Rachel Bakandi.” He gestured to Rachel, and she bowed. “She will be assisting as well.”

“I welcome you both,” he said. “And I thank you for coming so quickly. We didn’t know who else we could trust with this.”

Master Ywin gestured, and they began to walk. “Tell us more about what you know,” he prompted the prince.

“We have suspicions about who may be behind the kidnapping,” he began, turning towards a door that led out of the spaceport. “But we have no solid evidence. Other houses have made threats and have their own accusations, but nothing has been concrete. I fear that alliances may fall apart if this does not resolve quickly. I do not believe outright war will break out, but it is not out of the question.”

Rachel held her tongue, but she wondered how the politics of this world held together if one kidnapping could tear them all apart so easily. She knew how fleeting trust was, but this seemed somewhat absurd. Or perhaps they were all just that power-hungry.

“All the more reason to find your son as soon as possible,” Master Ywin said evenly.

“Yes.”

“We will need all reports and statements each house has made,” Master Ywin said. “Perhaps there may be some insight we can gather from an outside vantage point.”

“Of course. I will see that you get those right away. In the meantime, the guards will show you to your quarters.”

The door from the spaceport exited to a large plaza, and Rachel had to catch her breath. While the buildings were vastly different, she felt like she had stepped back onto her own world. Mountains loomed behind a large palace, and it was surrounded by trees covered in snow.

“I apologize,” the prince said, seeming to note her reaction. “I know it’s a bit colder here than Coruscant, but springtime has its beauty.”

“It’s beautiful,” Rachel breathed, taking in as much as she could while they walked through the plaza toward the towering palace.

“Keep your mind on the present, Padawan.” Master Ywin chided her.

She looked at him. Could he tell that she was remembering her home? She had never told him or anyone what it was like there. Only Thran knew because he had been there.

But he was right, she supposed. She was looking back. Earth was in the past. Her home was in the past. She was here on Alderaan, and she needed to focus. Taking a breath, she forced the memories aside.

As they walked, she noticed a number of people paused as they went about their day to bow or incline their head toward the prince, and he returned the gesture. He was respected, if not loved by his people, she could sense. She couldn’t feel any ill will among anyone they passed.

They made it to the palace, and Rachel tried to take in as much as she could as they were escorted to their quarters. It was exquisitely furnished everywhere they went. Couches, banners, sculptures, tapestries, chairs, paintings—all of it left nothing to be desired. Even the carpets she walked on seemed to be exceedingly lavish, and she almost hated walking on them. Part of her felt guilty when she saw the room she was staying in too. The bed itself looked like it was meant for four people instead of one with curtains hanging from bedposts at each corner for added privacy. Bookcases of dark wood lined one wall filled with books, and she only wondered what kind of knowledge they held because, other than the Jedi Archives, she hadn’t come across books anywhere. The opposite wall was lined with windows overlooking the mountainous and forested landscape, the trim seemed to be made of the same dark wood as the bookshelves. A heating unit lit with artificial flames sat in one corner of the room, and a beautiful red couch sat in front of it.

She couldn’t believe the kind of luxury these people lived in if this was a guest room.

Master Ywin’s room was right across the hall from hers, and the guards reassured them that they would be receiving the recordings that Master Ywin had asked for as soon as they could get them.

“What are we looking for in the recordings?” Rachel asked her Master when they were alone in the hall.

“Anything that can give you a clue,” he said. “I will give you half of the recordings, and you will tell me if you find anything of note in the morning. Understood?”

“Yes, Master.”

When she received them, she listened to and watched them all twice through. Only one stood out to her though. The leader of Rist house—Chos, she thought she heard his name—seemed particularly angry when the leader of Ulgo house, Ran, accused them of the kidnapping. He snapped about Ran going back on a century’s old alliance in their attempt for their own grab for power, but they denied the accusation vehemently, even asking the Organas to search their estate for the boy.

Her only conclusion from it was that perhaps the two houses were still in alliance, and the Ulgos slipped up by accusing the Rists. Perhaps the boy was being held in the Ulgo estate despite the Rists’ initial kidnapping of the boy.

It was a longshot, she knew, but it was all she could gather from it.

Besides, she was tired. It was now late as she sat on the couch in front of the warming unit, but she didn’t want to sleep. She hated what came with it. She could still hear the booming laughs of the Hutts in her ears. She could feel the way her body had been abused and touched and fondled, and it made her sick to her stomach as she pulled her knees up to her chest, feeling her whole body go rigid with the memories. She never wanted to be touched again.

She stared at the warming unit, watching its artificial flames dance.

And she remembered.

The Chiss comm was in her bag. She could pull it out and listen to the message.

Shifting herself off the couch, she walked to where she had left her bag and dug out the comm. It was still blinking, indicating that it held a message.

She walked back to the couch, sat down, and pressed the buttons that would play the message.

An image of Thran appeared, and Rachel felt her heart constrict at the sight of him.

“Ra’chel,” his voice held relief and yet tension, “I do not know if or when you will hear this. I do not know what kind of ruling the Jedi will give. But as I promised, I have pleaded and argued your case before the Syndicure, and they have rescinded your banishment. I have made them see that they owe you for your actions on Rattatak and that what you did is worthy of respect and gratitude. You are welcome in Chiss Space and welcome in the Ascendency. And more than that,” he continued, a smile crossing his face, “they have allowed us to continue to communicate.”

His image disappeared, and Rachel felt herself try to catch her breath as a smile crept across her face.

And it just as quickly faded.

The Syndicure may have seen reason, but the Jedi still refused to.

His image reappeared, but she hadn’t expected there to be a second message.

“Ra’chel, I still do not know if the Jedi are refusing to allow your communication, but reports have crossed my father’s desk that he has felt he should share with me, and I have found them disturbing. Some of our explorers in Republic space have heard rumors that a Jedi has gone missing while on a mission on Nar Shaddaa. A female Jedi, and the reports matched your description.” He was trying to hide his emotions, but his face held a lot of tension, and his eyes were filled with pain and anger. “Please…I do not care what the Jedi have dictated. I will go to the Jedi Temple myself if I must.” His voice cut out, and he swallowed and took a breath. “I need to know you are all right, Ra’chel. Please.”

As his image disappeared, Rachel’s chest ached. He had heard. Somehow, the Chiss had found out, and he had heard.

Her forehead tensed painfully. How could she tell him, though? Everything that they had done to her—how could she tell him?

She could say that it hadn’t been her, but that the Jedi had been found, and she was all right, but how could she lie to him?

His image appeared a third time, and this time, he was struggling to hold back his emotions. He looked angry and scared and worried all at the same time, and it cut through her chest, stabbing her heart.

“The Jedi denied me any kind of information,” he choked out. “They would not let me into the Temple. They would not tell me if it was you or not. They would not even tell me if the rumors were true or false. Please, Ra’chel. I need to know that you are all right. I do not care what the Jedi have mandated against me or against our friendship. I care about you, and I need to know that you are safe. Please.”

The image faded as he brought his hand over his face. She had never seen him in such a state.

Looking back at the doorway, she wondered if she would be overheard if she took the chance to call him. He was right. She didn’t care what the Jedi said either. He needed to know that she was ok.

But even as she had her finger over the button, she couldn’t determine what to say.

She stared at the comm. Would he simply need to hear that she was safe, or would he ask what had happened? And if he asked, what would she tell him? What could she tell him?

But first thing was first, she supposed, as she set her mind. She could reach out and let him know that she was safe.

But before she could press the buttons, she heard a knock at her door.

“Crap,” the English word slipped out in a whisper.

Chapter Text

She shoved the comm back into her bag on her way to the door, double checking to make sure it was off.

The door was barely open before Master Ywin pushed his way in.

“I realize that I told you to have your report in the morning,” his words came quickly, “but what have you found so far?”

Her mind raced. Usually, her Master was more stoic than a Chiss, but right now, something was bothering him.

“Umm,” she began, trying to get her thoughts in order. “The only discrepancy I found was in one recording.”

She started to walk over to the recording device to play the message, but he stopped her by grabbing her shoulders, and she felt her whole body tense and go into a defensive mode.

“Nevermind playing it,” he said, clearly oblivious to her reaction. “What did it say?”

She pushed his arms off and backed away a step, forcing her mind to focus. “The Ulgos accused the Rists of the kidnapping, but the way Chos Rist reacted seemed off. The only thing I could deduce was that they were somehow working together on the whole thing.”

“Organa spy reports have indicated increased security around the Ulgo estate,” he said. “That would back up your argument. However, the Ulgos have stated that it is due to increased numbers of Killiks in the area.”

“Killiks?”

“Large insect like beings that live on the planet in hives,” he explained. “Semi-sentient, though some believe they are more intelligent than most believe. It’s debatable.”

“Have they been asked what they have seen?”

Master Ywin laughed. “They do not speak, Padawan. They have no intelligible language.”

“Oh,” Rachel knew her lack of understanding was bound to rear its head.

“But, you have given me an idea,” he mused. “Killik tunnels run beneath and around the Ulgo estate, or so it’s reported. If we are able to use those tunnels, perhaps we can get further intel as to whether the boy is, in fact, inside the Ulgo’s palace.”

“How would we get by the Killiks if they are hostile?”

“That would be the challenge.”

Rachel thought about how she had tamed the reek on Ylesia. Could she do the same with the Killiks?

“I could try,” she proposed.

Her Master raised an eyebrow at her. “You think so?”

“What I was able to do to the reek—do you think it would be possible with the Killiks?”

“Hmm,” he thought aloud, his forehead creasing as he brought a hand up to stroke his beard. “It may be possible, but it is a very advanced skill. Not to mention risky.”

He seemed to study her through narrowed eyes as though sizing up her skills.

“Very well,” he finally said. “I can provide you with a map of the tunnels, or as recent of a map as possible, and you can test your abilities.”

She felt her forehead crease. “You won’t go with me?”

“I have a feeling I may be needed to mediate between the houses,” he said, his eyes drifting slightly. “It would be a good distraction while you investigate.”

She felt her stomach tighten into a knot at the idea though. Being sent off on her own got her into trouble on their last mission. He was willing to risk it already?

“As you see fit, Master,” she said.

“Good,” he said curtly. “I shall see you briefly in the morning and give you the maps. Then I expect you to make yourself scarce and locate the tunnels.”

“Yes, Master.”

He nodded and exited.

Her mind spun as she turned to walk towards her bed, but as she sat down, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Just the thought of going into tunnels with insect-like beings brought up images of all kinds, and she was going to have to try and figure out a way past them through dark tunnels and see if she could sense an eight-year-old boy being held against his will in another estate.

She closed her eyes and wondered if she was overestimating her abilities.

Rubbing her hands over her face, she suddenly felt extremely tired, but then she remembered—she had been about to call Thran. He needed to know that she was ok.

But as she looked at the door, she wondered if now was the best time. Master Ywin was clearly still awake, and it was possible he might overhear. As she thought it over, perhaps she could call him as she walked through the tunnels tomorrow. It might be good to hear his voice as she navigated through unfamiliar territory.

With her mind settled, she lied down on the bed and tossed and turned. Each time she closed her eyes, she saw different images, and each time, they caused her to open her eyes because she didn’t want to see them. The remainder of the night was spent in that way, and when the sun finally rose, she was glad even though she felt even more exhausted.

She rose from the bed and went to the door.

Master Ywin wasn’t awake yet, which did and didn’t surprise her. The sun had only just begun to rise when she got up. She waited in her room until she sensed his wakefulness, and only then ventured from her room to one of the main rooms of the large house.

“You’re awake early,” he said when he walked into the room.

“I had difficulty sleeping,” she explained.

He nodded and continued walking from the room toward the dining room where she suspected he was going to get a cup of caf.

On Earth, Rachel had never liked the taste of coffee, and here, she never bothered to try caf as she believed it would be similar to coffee. Besides, what good would it do?

When he returned, he held a datapad in one hand and a mug in the other.

“Here,” he said, placing the datapad in her hand. “The maps, as promised. Study them and leave as soon as you feel confident in where you are going.”

“You still don’t think you should come with me?” she asked him one more time.

“Prince Veak was in the dining room and informed me that a few of the other houses are meeting this morning. I should be there.”

She nodded. She would be on her own.

The maps looked confusing as they seemed to twist and turn in every direction. It reminded her of the maze puzzles she used to try and solve as a child in logic books, and she tried to think of it that way. She used to solve them by starting at the end and working her way towards the beginning. Finding where the tunnel ran under the Ulgo’s palace, she followed the tunnel back to an opening in a mountain cliff, and then she followed it back to the place where she’d begun. She did this back and forth several times until she thought she had memorized it.

“Can I take the datapad with me?”

She looked up, but Master Ywin wasn’t in the room anymore. She didn’t know when he had walked away, but she suspected that that answered her question.

She got up and went to her room to grab her cloak and the Chiss comm from her bag. Shoving the comm in one pocket and the datapad in the other and making sure her lightsaber was securely on her belt, she made her way to the door of the palace.

The entrance to the tunnel was easy enough to find, and so far, she hadn’t seen any of the Killiks Master Ywin had described. Swallowing hard and taking a deep breath, she walked into the tunnel.

It was surprisingly well lit, and she looked around for the source of the light and found that it came from rocks embedded in the walls. The first few turns came easily to her from her memory, and she still didn’t find any creatures, which seemed rather odd to her.

But as she rounded the seventh turn, she felt her breath catch in her throat.

It opened into a large cavern that seemed to be held up by towers of stalagnates. Surrounding the pillars and against almost every wall were clusters of purple-colored egg-shaped rocks that seemed to glow, and everywhere there were large ant-looking creatures that stood a bit taller than a man. Some held staffs or spears in their hands, some held blasters. They all turned to face her as she stepped into view, and she forced herself to remain calm as difficult as it was.

There came a strange clicking sound from many of the Killiks, but they didn’t seem to click over each other, but they seemed to do it one at a time. Was this how they talked? If so, she couldn’t understand it, but would they understand her?

“I do not mean any harm,” she said, extending her hands palms out and down at her sides.

One of the Killiks nearest to her took a quick step closer to her and pointed its spear at her, clicking viciously, but it didn’t attack her.

She tried to reach out to sense its mind, but her own apprehension was getting in the way. She needed to calm down.

“I am here in peace,” she tried a different phrasing while trying to slow her breathing and heart rate. If they did attack her, she knew she wouldn’t stand a chance against so many.

Calm, she told herself. They weren’t attacking. They seemed to be questioning her motives as much as she was looking for theirs.

Forcing herself to relax, she reached out again to sense the Killik closest to her.

His mind was apprehensive and defensive, not combative.

“We greet you, Jedi,” she heard a gentle male voice say.

Startled, she looked around for who had spoken and was surprised to see a human walking towards her, but something was off about him. He had short, black hair, and his skin was pale, and as she studied him, she saw that his eyes were completely black, and his face was eerily neutral.

“Who are you?” she asked him.

“We are Jemin,” he said. “We are a Joiner of the hive.”

“A Joiner?”

“The hive took me in and made me one with them,” he explained. “Now, we are one with the nest.”

Rachel felt her forehead furrow as she tried to understand. The Killiks were able to take in other beings and make them a part of their hive?

“You can hear their minds?” she inquired.

“We share one mind,” he explained. “We realize it may be difficult for outsiders to understand.”

“This is completely new to me,” she thought out loud.

“We are curious why you have come to our nest, Jedi.”

She looked at him. He knew she was a Jedi? How? She hadn’t said she was. Had the Killiks been watching the Organas somehow and knew about her and Master Ywin?

“I just want to pass through,” she explained, trying to keep her voice even. “I’m trying to find a child who may have been taken by a family called the Ulgos.”

“Erele,” he said.

“How do you know?”

“The hive has eyes and ears in many places. We have seen the child. He is in the Ulgo house, and he is safe. But he wishes to return home. A sentiment with which we can sympathize.”

“You can?”

“When a Killik is separated from the nest, they only desire to return. Community is safety and strength. To be alone can spell death.”

“Then you can understand why I am searching for him.”

“We do.”

“Will you help me? Or at least allow me to walk through your passageways?”

“Is our information as to his whereabouts not enough?”

She paused and thought about it. While she had been asked to confirm where Erele was, she supposed that she had just received such confirmation. But how would the words of the Killiks be received?

“I trust you,” she said softly. “But I wish to bring him home.”

Jemin seemed to contemplate it. Or was he listening to the other Killiks? She couldn’t tell. She couldn’t read his face.

“We will help you,” he said.

“Thank you,” she breathed, feeling herself relax.

“This way,” he gestured and began to walk before she even realized that they were going to start right away.

He walked very relaxed near the Killiks, and Rachel had the feeling that they were watching her very closely.

They wove their way through the tunnels, and Rachel could tell that they were different from what she had studied that morning. Around each corner, more and more Killiks were at work with shovels or pickaxes, but what they were digging for, she couldn’t guess. They didn’t stop their work or turn to face her as they walked by. In fact, they seemed to ignore her presence altogether.

“They know you are here,” Jemin said.

“They do?”

“They can see you through my eyes,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Oh.” She tried to think of any other conversation they could make, but Jemin seemed content walking in silence.

“When was the boy taken?” Rachel asked. “Did you see who it was that brought him here?”

“We did,” he responded. “It was two weeks ago. There were three men who brought the boy to the Ulgo house, and one left after the boy was locked in a room where he would be kept safe. The two were Ulgo and the one was Rist.”

“So they were in on it together,” she thought out loud.

“One thing we are grateful for since joining the hive,” Jemin said. “There is no betrayal. Not even the thought of it. We are one.”

“Do you remember anything about your life before you joined the Killiks?”

“We do,” he said evenly. “We remember my whole life.”

“You don’t dwell on it or miss it at all?”

“It merely exists as all memories do.”

“You see the memories of all the Killiks?”

“Of course.”

She shook her head. “That’s crazy.”

“Is it?”

“Sorry. I suppose it’s something that I’ve never thought about, so it seems that way to me. You live with it every day. It’s normal for you now.”

“You seek to understand,” he turned to look at her. “Others have not been as patient or willing.”

“Why?”

“We do not know.”

“I have been told that they do not believe Killiks to be as intelligent as you clearly are,” she said, looking around as they passed more Killiks, hoping that her words didn’t offend them. “I can see just how advanced and organized you are, and I’ve only just met your kind.”

“You had no such preconceived notions?”

“Would you believe I had never heard of the Killiks before last night?”

“We would not,” he said. “You have an understanding that others lack.”

“But it’s true. I wasn’t even sure what the Killiks looked like until I turned that corner.”

“Fascinating. Perhaps it is your innocence that has given you better insight.”

Rachel recoiled at the word, knowing just how far away she was from innocent. She could still see and feel everything that had happened and been done to her, and it made her shudder involuntarily.

“Is everything all right?” He looked at her.

“I’m fine,” she lied. “Just…thinking.”

“I see.”

They made three more turns, and Rachel noticed that there were an increasing number of Killiks in the tunnels.

“We are here,” Jemin said.

She stopped and looked around at the tunnel walls. “We’re still in the tunnel.”

“Directly above is the room where the boy is being held.”

Rachel looked up. “How far up?”

“Not as far as the humans would like to believe,” he said, the hint of a smirk pulling at his mouth. “But not so shallow that we are easily heard.”

“Is there another way for me to get to him?” she asked, looking up at the ceiling again. “I can’t exactly go through rock.”

“Can you not dig?”

She held up her hands. “My hands are not designed to without tools,” she pointed out. “Can I borrow a shovel?”

“Does your lightsaber not cut through rock?”

She paused, taken aback. She hadn’t even considered it, but she supposed it was possible.

She pushed her robe back and pulled the lightsaber from her belt. “How far up?”

“You will know when you reach it.”

That wasn’t helpful.

She closed her eyes and reached out to the Force. All around her, she sensed life. Everything in the tunnel seemed connected and alive. It was invigorating.

Turning her senses upward, she tried to feel where Erele was, and she sensed a sadness and loneliness. He was up there, and she used his life force to guide where she directed her lightsaber.

She ignited it, and, even with her eyes closed, she could see the green glow behind her eyes as she lifted the blade into the rock above her. With one hand, she cut the rock, and with the other, she caught the falling debris with the Force.

When she could tell she was only a few feet away from the floor above, she reached out to the room again. Sensing no one and only one person standing in a hall outside, or what she hoped was outside the room, she made a final cut through the floor, angling the blade out as she cut in a circle wide enough for her to climb through.

She had expected the boy to cry out or scream, but to her surprise, he didn’t make any sound as she lifted the flooring up and pushed it over and crawled into the room, but she could see his eyes were wide with fear.

“Erele?”

He nodded slowly.

“My name is Rachel. I’m a Jedi Padawan. I was asked to find you.”

“They took me,” his voice squeaked. “They just took me. I didn’t know what to do.”

“It’s ok, Erele. No one is blaming you. Your father is worried and just wants you home safe.”

“I miss him.”

She gestured to the hole in the floor. “Shall we go see him?”

He nodded and got up from the couch.

“I have to warn you, though,” Rachel said. “I came through some tunnels that may be a bit scary. You will be safe. I promise.”

He nodded, though he looked a little unsure as he lowered himself down the hole.

Rachel looked around for a way to cover up the cut that would show over the hole’s covering and saw a rug nearby that would do. Using the force as she lowered herself down, she moved the rug over the top of the floor piece she had cut away and carefully put them in place above her and began to work her way down to the tunnel below.

When she reached the bottom, Erele was standing frozen, staring at Jemin.

“He is terrified,” Jemin said.

“Hey,” Rachel said, kneeling down to the boy. “Remember what I told you. You’re safe here. They won’t hurt you. They let me pass through unharmed, and they helped me find you. It’ll be ok.”

He seemed to relax a little, but his eyes were still wide and staring at Jemin.

The whole walk back, Erele was quiet, and Jemin didn’t say much. She wondered what the Ulgos would do once they discovered the hole she’d made under the rug and how it led to a Kilik tunnel beneath their estate, and a part of her found amusement in it.

They made it back to the cavern where Rachel had met Jemin, and she expected him to stay there, but he made to keep walking with her.

“We will come with you and speak with the other humans,” he said. “Perhaps our word will be of some use.”

Confused for a moment, she asked, “You mean, you, or,” she gestured to the room, “all of you?”

Did she imagine it or was there a hint of a smile? “Just us—me.”

She nodded. “And you are ok with going alone?”

“We believe that you will protect us,” he said at first with confidence, but then she noticed a change. “You will, will you not?”

“I will,” she promised, feeling the resolution fill her chest.

“Then let us depart,” he said.

As they walked through the tunnels back to the Organa’s estate, Rachel tried to think about how she was going to explain this. She had never encountered or heard of the Killiks before last night, and now, she felt like she knew them better than the people who lived on the same planet as them. How would they take that?

Not to mention they had just helped her locate and rescue Erele. She wasn’t sure what kind of political or social can of worms this would open, but it was one that she was about to open anyway.

They turned the last corner, and Rachel blinked against the sunlight. It was barely noon. The houses may still be gathered in the Organa’s palace. Perhaps it was good that Jemin would be able to speak with them all.

When they reached the palace, Rachel tried her best to keep Erele from running directly to his father, but it was no use. She couldn’t hold the young boy back, and as Rachel peered into the meeting room, she caught Master Ywin’s eye. They had all been listening to Chos Rist give a rather impassioned defense, but now they were clearly interrupted.

“Perhaps,” she heard Prince Veak’s voice, “there is new evidence.”

Had he seen her?

“I believe there is,” Master Ywin stood and motioned to Rachel who felt her body tense as she stepped into the room, feeling all eyes turn toward her.

“You found him,” Prince Veak said. He was kneeling on the ground clutching his son, gratitude radiating from his eyes.

“I did,” she said hesitantly. “I had help, but I am not certain how you will like it.”

A resounding tension swept through the room followed by a mixture of fear, apprehension, and hatred as Jemin entered the room.

“The Killiks took him!” Ran Ulgo blurted out, but his voice wavered.

“They didn’t,” Rachel said. “But they saw who did.”

“You speak bug?” Chos Rist asked.

“We can speak Basic, if you would prefer it,” Jemin said, and Rachel couldn’t help a small smile, and she heard Erele laugh a little.

“Abomination,” she heard someone whisper.

“Call us whatever you wish,” Jemin said, unphased by the word. “We would think some gratitude would be displayed at the reuniting of a child with his father.”

“I would tend to agree,” Master Ywin spoke up, eyeing Jemin. “Tell us, Joiner, what is it you saw in regard to the kidnapping of the prince’s son.”

Jemin inclined his head slightly and began to tell them how some of their night scouts had observed three men carrying an unconscious boy near one of their hives. As other Killiks kept watchful eyes on them, they saw that the boy was of the Organa family while two of the men were Ulgo and one was Rist.

“Not true!” Chos exploded. “We had nothing to do with the boy’s kidnapping!”

“What reason do we have to lie?” Jemin asked. “These are merely observations. We have no biases.”

“Then why do you attack our land?” Ran raised his voice.

“We do not attack unless provoked,” Jemin said. “You have sent in demolition teams to destroy our nests and eggs. How else should we defend ourselves?”

There was silence in the room, and Rachel felt the need to speak up.

“I entered their home,” she said. “I trespassed. Where I come from, that can get you shot without warning. But the Killiks wanted to know my intentions. They didn’t attack me. They guided me to the Ulgo’s house where Erele was being kept.”

“What proof have you?” Ran spit out.

“You may want to patch the hole I made in the floor where I pulled him out,” Rachel said, and she heard Erele giggle again.

“Why would a Jedi lie?” another representative spoke up.

“I believe we can rest this case,” Master Ywin stood up. “The Rists and Ulgos are to blame here, and while other threats and demands have been made, I say that those should be cast aside and Alderaanian law be practiced against the kidnappers.”

“Agreed,” Prince Veak said. “Thank you, Master Jedi. And you, Padawan. Thank you for finding Erele We can take things from here.”

“What about this…thing?” Chos interjected gesturing at Jemin.

“What about him?” Rachel asked.

“He is a traitor to his people,” Chos said. “He has turned on his house and joined a hostile species.”

“The only hostility I have witnessed in my time here has been from you, Representative. The Killiks showed peace, and I think you could stand to learn a lot from them.”

There was a stunned silence in the room, and Rachel wasn’t sure if she had overstepped a line, but when she looked at Prince Veak, he was smirking.

Master Ywin didn’t waste much time after that. He had her collect her things and they walked to their shuttle. He didn’t say anything to her one way or the other regarding her handling of rescuing the boy, and she wasn’t sure if he approved of her methods. His mind was as stoic and hard to read as ever. And she knew better than to ask if she had done a good job.

Their return flight to Coruscant was also spent in silence, and Rachel found herself wishing that the shuttle had a private room. She had never gotten the chance to call Thran to reassure him of her safety, and she spent the whole trip thinking about his messages.

The Syndicure was allowing their friendship and communication. Whatever sources of intelligence the Chiss had had heard of her capture, and those reports had been seen by Patriarch Thyodar, and he saw fit to pass the information on to Thran.

The third one though… The Jedi hadn’t allowed him into the Temple. He was back on Coruscant. As quickly as the thought brought her joy, it rushed away. She wasn’t permitted to leave the Temple unless it was with her Master on a mission. Plus, the Council had forbidden her to contact him.

She looked towards the cockpit where Master Ywin sat at the controls, waiting to bring them out of hyperspace, and she thought back on something Thran’s father had essentially told her about the Syndicure.

What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

Chapter Text

Rachel knew she would have to give her report to the Council, and, overall, she wasn’t concerned about it, but she still wondered how they would perceive her actions with the Killiks.

To her surprise, some of them seemed impressed. Master Zev even looked proud.

“We still don't know what kind of repercussions this may have, however,” Master Ywin interjected. “Even though the Killiks helped this time, it will be up to the Alderaanians to hold on to that peace.”

“Agreed,” Master Sahga said. “But overall, I would say this went very well.”

“Yes,” Master Zhulung said. “Well done. Master Ywin, another moment. Padawan, you are dismissed.”

She bowed and glanced briefly at her Master, but he didn’t look at her at all. He merely crossed over to his Council seat as she exited.

At that moment, she didn’t care all that much. She only wanted to return to her room and—

“Rachel!”

She turned on her heel to see Matyus running down the long hall toward her. She hadn’t seen him since before Nar Shaddaa, and she didn’t know how much he knew.

“I’ve been wondering where you were,” he breathed heavily when he finally caught up to her. “Izo told me some crazy things.”

“About Nar Shaddaa?” She figured she may as well rip the bandage off.

“It’s true?”

“Where else do you think I’ve been all these months?”

“What about the rumors?” His voice dropped in volume. “Did the Hutts really take you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said flatly, and perhaps with a bit too much anger.

His forehead creased as he looked at her. “You sure you’re ok?”

She hated lying. “It’s in the past.” She skirted around it, avoiding his eyes. “It doesn't matter anymore what happened, and it doesn’t do well to dwell on it.”

He was quiet for a moment before she felt his hand touch her shoulder, but she instinctively shook it off and took a step back, trying to ignore the sudden hurt in his eyes.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Rachel,” his voice was softer than she’d ever heard it before. “You know that.”

She did.

But it didn’t matter anymore. Her instincts told her to protect herself.

“C’mon,” he said gently, clearly holding back his usual gesture of wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “Come get something to eat. It’ll take your mind off things. And you can tell me about Alderaan. That’s where you just were, right?”

She nodded, but as she walked with him, her thoughts drifted.

Izo and Matyus did help her relax slightly, and even Ixenri came and sat with them. N’ami was on a mission with her new Padawan, he told them. Matyus tried to make Rachel feel better by telling her that it wouldn’t be long before she would be a Knight and have her own Padawan. Izo tried to joke that she’d be the one to wind up on the Council out of all of them.

While their jesting helped her to smile and relax a little, she still didn’t really feel like their words were true. How long would it really be before she would be allowed to take her trials, and would she pass them? And she was more likely to wind up being expelled from the Order before she wound up as a member of the Council.

But it was nice to be able to sit with and talk with them.

It was late before they parted ways for bed, and Rachel felt guilty about not reaching out to Thran again. She laid on her bed and stared at the Chiss comm where it sat on her bedside table.

Would he be awake? Could she call him now?

She could try. If nothing else, she could leave a message telling him that she was safe.

After shifting her body into a sitting position with her back against the wall, she looked at the door. She knew she was still under mandate not to reach out to him, but everyone was supposed to be sleeping. What would they know?

She keyed the comm and waited.

It was about a minute before he answered, and his voice was as tense as his face.

“Ra’chel? Ra’chel, is it really you?”

Seeing his face brought a slow smile to her face, and she felt her body relax as she looked into his eyes.

“It’s me,” she said softly.

She watched as he rubbed his hand over his face, and it looked like he was attempting to hold back emotions he didn’t want her to see.

“Ra’chel, I—,” his voice choked out, and his eyes couldn’t meet hers. “I feared the worst.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I wanted to reach out a couple of days ago after hearing your messages, but I didn’t have the opportunity.”

He stared at her in disbelief. “You did not see the messages until days ago?”

It was her turn to avoid eye contact.

“What happened on Nar Shadda?” His voice shook, though with pain or anger, she couldn’t tell. Probably both.

“Thran,” she started to say, but even trying to think of what to say brought back the memories she wanted to forget, and she felt the tears start to build behind her eyes.

She took a shuddering breath as she tried to calm herself. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

But as she lifted her eyes to meet his, they held only compassion.

“May I ask,” his voice came gently, “were you on Nar Shaddaa the entirety of these past six months?”

She shook her head. “I was taken from Nar Shaddaa to somewhere else, and then to a moon called Ylesia.”

He nodded slowly. “I know what the Hutts are capable of and what they do with prisoners. How did it happen?”

“I said—”

“I am sorry,” he said quickly. “You said you do not wish to talk about it. I am thinking out loud. Was your Master not with you?”

“He was,” she said. “Kind of.”

“What do you mean?”

“He told me to go to the bar and get him, myself, and our contact drinks. That’s when…” That was when she had fallen victim to Falleen pheromones and been whisked away to have a sexual encounter with an exotic alien that her mind and body hadn’t been able to resist.

“That was when you were kidnapped?” Thran asked, trying to finish her thought.

Could he see how much she was struggling with her memories? Looking up at his holoimage, his eyes still held compassion and sympathy. He only wanted to understand and listen. Of course he could see her struggling.

She nodded.

“You do not have to tell me how if you do not wish to,” he said gently.

His face seemed to relax a little despite the concern that remained tensely in his forehead. “The important thing is that you are safe now. I cannot imagine what you went through, and you do not have to share it with me unless you want to. I am always here to listen. I am just…very glad that you are safe.”

“The Council forbade me from speaking with you,” she said.

“I thought they would,” he responded, and then gave her a small smirk. “And yet, we are speaking.”

She felt herself smile. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

“Interesting philosophy,” he said.

“I’m also not supposed to leave the Temple unless Master Ywin and I are going on a mission.”

He nodded. “I see.”

“And I doubt they’ll let you in.”

“No, they have already denied me that. That leaves us with holocalls made in secret.”

“Friendships shouldn’t have to be secret,” Rachel felt her frustration rise.

“I know. But until the Council sees things differently—”

“I tried to,” she interrupted him, thinking back. “I tried to make a defense, but they didn’t listen.”

His brows creased. “What do they fear?”

“Fear would be a strong word. But their belief is that having friends can lead one down the dark side.”

“That seems rather extreme.”

“I know, and yet I see friendships all the time in the Temple. Even today, Matyus asked me to join him and Izo for dinner, and I know the two of them have been friends since they were clanmates, yet they aren’t told off for it. Sometimes they go on missions together.”

“This seems rather hypocritical that they should allow some forms of friendship but forbid others. Did they give a reason for this?”

“Not really. Master Zev seemed to speak up in my defense though. He said he could see my point. Why should outside friendships be treated any different from those that form in the Temple?”

“I know I am merely an outsider, but I sometimes wonder what would happen if this other Master had taken you as a Padawan instead of this Master Ywin.”

She thought about it. It wasn’t something she had considered before. Master Ywin had seemed to be the first one to even take a notice of her. Would Master Zev have been a better fit?

“I don’t know,” she said, her eyes drifting towards the window, remembering how late it was. She looked back at Thran and searched his eyes. There was a hint of tiredness, but his caring and compassion were at the forefront.

“I should let you sleep,” she said. “I probably woke you up as it is.”

His jaw seemed to tense momentarily. “I am glad you did. You do not know how relieved I am knowing that you are safe.”

“I will call you again when I can. I’d like to tell you about Alderaan.”

“Alderaan?”

“That’s where I just returned from. But for now, we should both try to sleep.”

“Try being the key word?”

She looked away. He knew that she struggled with sleeping, and she knew that it worried him.

“Is there anything you have found that helps you?” he asked gently.

“No,” she said. “I just deal with them, or I don’t sleep.”

“I wish that were not the case,” his eyes and voice both held sadness.

“I’ll try anyway.”

He nodded.

“Goodnight, Thran.”

“Good night, Ra’chel.”

For a moment, it looked like he wanted to say more, but then he ended the transmission.

Holding the comm gently, she looked out the window, half-wondering where on the planet his apartment was. He probably wanted to be close to the Senate building, but did he also want to be close to the Jedi Temple?

There was a way she could find out, she knew, but she had promised him that she would not search his mind or intrude on his emotions with the Force, and that included this.

Setting the comm back on her bedside table, she lied down and tried to sleep as she told Thran she would, but it was difficult. Images of those who had raped her flashed in her mind. She could feel their hands on her body, and she rolled over only to see a jolt of electricity shoot out at her.

She woke up breathing hard and sweating.

It was still the middle of the night though, and she had to try and go back to sleep.

Chapter Text

The following morning, Rachel determined that she would go to the archives and see if there were any meditations that could help her with nightmares, sleeping, or putting off sleep. As she looked through the vast shelves of knowledge, however, she couldn’t find anything right away, so she asked Master Dharja for help.

“Having difficulty sleeping?” the older woman asked.

“Yes,” she responded, trying to keep her voice neutral.

“There are many meditations that can help with falling asleep,” she said. “Have you tried looking for those?”

“It isn’t falling asleep that I’m struggling with,” Rachel admitted. “It’s the staying asleep part.”

“You mentioned nightmares. Have you discussed these with anyone?”

“No. I figured that it would be better if I tried to get rid of them myself first.”

“There is no shame in asking for help,” her voice reminded her of her grandmother’s, and she turned to look at her.

“Master Ywin has never really seemed the type to help,” Rachel said flatly.

“But have you tried?”

“No,” she admitted quietly.

“Tell you what,” she said turning to Rachel, “I can show you where these meditations are, but I believe you should ask your Master for guidance first. The role of a Master is to guide and teach his Apprentice in all aspects of life.”

Yet her Master had allowed her to be taken hostage and become a slave to the Hutts for six months. But she nodded.

“They’re over here.” She guided Rachel to the next row of shelves where an old leather-bound book sat. “In here are several meditations regarding sleep but go now and talk with your Master.”

Rachel nodded as she looked at the book.

Master Dharja turned to walk back to where she had first found her, and she waited until she was out of sight before grabbing the book and putting it in her pocket.

As she left, she didn’t look at anyone, and she did decide that she would try to bring her sleep up to Master Ywin before trying anything the book said, but she wanted a back-up plan.

She found her Master in the training room leading a group of Younglings through basic lightsaber forms. Some of them appeared to be holding a training saber for the first time while others looked like naturals.

She waited on the observation balcony until the class concluded, then she went down to talk with him.

“Something on your mind, Padawan?” he greeted her.

She wasn’t sure how he knew, but she knew better than to lie to him. “Yes. Remember when I’ve told you how I’ve had trouble sleeping?”

“Is this an ongoing issue?”

“It is.”

“Follow me,” he said, turning to walk down the hall.

He led her to the meditation rooms, and when she entered, the whole room felt muted. The walls were a dark gray color, and the carpet covering the floor absorbed all sound. There were no windows since these rooms were in the center of the Temple, and the lights were kept dim.

“Sit.” He gestured to one of the two meditation chairs in the center of the small room.

She sat down on one of the chairs, and he mirrored her position on the other chair.

“What is it that keeps you awake?” he asked her.

“Nightmares,” she answered.

“And what is it you see in these nightmares?”

She looked at the floor. It was hard to admit the images to Thran who she trusted without question. How was she supposed to tell her Master?

“Horrible things that have happened,” she skirted around it.

“Things that have happened to you?”

She nodded.

“Things from the past.”

It was a statement, and she knew where he was going with it, but she nodded.

“The past is over, Padawan. You need to let go of it. The only thing you can control—”

“Is the present,” she finished.

“You must train yourself to let go.”

“How?” She looked up at his stern face.

“The same way we let all things go,” he said, his piercing eyes giving her a knowing look. “The past, emotions, attachments, all of it. We train ourselves to let these things pass from us so that they have no effect on the present. They can not be allowed to control us.”

She thought about it. The emotions part, she understood and had gotten pretty good at. Attachments, she still argued, were not a bad thing. Her past was what made her who she was, though. Could she just write it off?

If it meant getting rid of the nightmares, it might be worth a try.

“Do you understand?”

“I will work on it, Master,” she responded.

“Good.”

And she did. She spent the better part of the day in that meditation room trying to think, or rather, not think about the past.

But that night, when she tried to sleep, the nightmares came again. She tried to think of them the same way she did the emotions when they overwhelmed her. They were not helpful. She pictured the river in her mind and tried to force the images to flow away downstream, but she saw a flashing bolt of lightning, and it made her open her eyes.

Slumping forward where she sat on her bed, she wondered if she would ever get this to work.

Outside the window, it was dark. Probably the middle of the night. Too late to call Thran.

The past, emotions, attachments, all of it.

Did she have to let Thran go if she hoped to be rid of the nightmares?

No, she shook her head. That didn’t seem right. He brought light into her life and hope when she saw none. He believed in her even though she didn’t believe in herself. How could she let that go?

She couldn’t. And she wouldn’t. Nothing Master Ywin or the Council said would ever make her.

After a week of trying to meditate her nightmares away, she decided to give it up, and instead, as she started to lie down for bed, she activated the Chiss comm and see if Thran was still awake.

“Are we going to make a habit of late-night calls?” he asked when he answered, but there was a smirk on his face.

She smiled. “When else would you have me call? In the middle of a Senate session?”

“I suppose not. I can think of worse ways to end the day.”

“I can hang up.”

“You know that I am joking.”

“I didn’t think Chiss joked,” she teased.

“Very funny.” The smile on his face was mirrored in his eyes.

“How are you?” he asked, sincerity entering his voice.

She shrugged. “I’ve been better.”

“What is wrong?”

“I’ve been trying to find ways to meditate the nightmares away, but it’s not working. I still see…” she couldn’t finish the sentence, and she looked towards the window, not able to meet his gaze.

“I am sorry, Ra’chel. I know you said you do not wish to talk about what happened, but do you think it would help?”

She thought about it, but the more she did, the more she wondered what his reaction would be. On Earth, when she had been tortured, he had become so angry that he had killed every human in the facility. On Rattatak, she had seen the anger burn in his eyes while he was helpless to help her or do anything. Everything that had happened on Nar Shaddaa and Ylesia was in the past, but the people were still alive.

But she trusted him.

She looked back at his holoimage, searching his eyes. They held only compassion as they studied her.

She took a breath. “Do you know the species Falleen?”

His face hardened slightly. “I do.”

“I told you that on Nar Shaddaa Master Ywin sent me to get drinks at a bar while he spoke with our contact privately. While I was waiting for the drinks, I was approached by a Falleen. He…” She looked away from him, but his jaw was tense, and she had seen his eyes grow both pained and angry.

“He hurt you.” His voice gave every indication that he knew it was more than that.

She nodded, images of what happened flashing in her mind, and she wrapped her free arm tightly around herself.

“I couldn’t stop him,” she felt the tears brimming behind her eyes. “Something in my brain didn’t want to stop him. I was weak. I couldn’t—”

“You are not weak, Ra’chel,” Thran cut her off sharply. “What Falleens do to their victims is detestable and grotesque, but you are not weak.”

“I should’ve been able to fight it.”

“How? Had you heard of his species before that encounter? Known what they could do?”

She shook her head. “But I’m a Jedi.”

“And Jedi are impervious to such tactics?”

“I don’t know.”

“What he did is not your fault, Ra’chel. If you want my opinion, your Master should have been keeping a better eye out.”

“He was busy.”

“Your life is his responsibility, is it not? Is it not his role to protect you?”

She supposed that was part of a Master’s role when they took on a Padawan.

“That aside,” Thran continued, the sharpness leaving his voice. “Where did the Falleen take you? Or did the Hutts take you to Ylesia?”

“The Falleen had been commissioned by a Hutt, and that Hutt took me somewhere else. Ylesia was where I escaped from, but I don’t know if it was where I was held the whole time.”

“How did the Jedi not find you sooner?”

“I don’t know.”

He was silent for a moment. “I have heard what the Hutts do to and with their slaves.” His voice was quiet. “You do not have to tell me what they did to you.”

She felt her shoulders relax slightly. “Thank you.”

His eyes were filled with concern, which she found to be better than the anger she had expected.

“My escape was good though,” she said, trying to lighten the conversation again.

“Oh?” He lifted an eyebrow.

“There was some kind of gladiator’s tournament, and they found out that I was a Jedi because I managed to tame a reek without even trying.”

“You tamed a reek?”

“They forced me to fight in the pit, but I convinced the reek to jump out of the pit, and I used the distraction to escape. Of course, Masters Zev and Ywin were there, but the majority of the distraction was my doing.”

“How…how did you convince a reek to do that?”

“I honestly don’t know,” she admitted. “I sensed its mind, and I was able to convince it. It was strange.”

“Fascinating. That is truly remarkable.”

She felt her face warm. “I don’t think it was that extraordinary.”

“Only because you refuse to see how incredible you really are.”

She felt an odd sensation in her chest as she looked away. While Matyus and Izo tried to compliment her and make her feel better about herself, they tended to come off in a joking manner as a way to make her smile. Thran truly wanted her to believe in herself and see whatever it was he saw in her.

“I know you do not believe me,” he said, “but I hope that one day you will.”

“You’re pretty good at breaking down barriers,” she teased. “Maybe someday you’ll get through to me.”

He smiled. “I hope so.”

“I should let you sleep,” she said.

“Thank you for your honesty, Ra’chel,” he said gently. “I hope it helped.”

“I think it did. At least a little.”

“I am glad. Goodnight, Ra’chel. I hope sleep comes easier tonight.”

“Me too. Goodnight.”

It turned out that the nightmares weren’t quite as bad that night. While she still saw the same images, and she woke from them, she no longer woke in a cold sweat or felt herself crying out as she woke up. Perhaps opening up did help.

Chapter Text

In the following weeks, Rachel tried to follow and keep up with Master Ywin's teaching, but he either tried to teach her something extremely advanced or he left her to study on her own, and she couldn’t figure out why that was.

When she mentioned some of the things to Matyus, even he was flabbergasted at what master Ywin was trying to have her do.

She thought they might have another mission coming, but Master Ywin told her that he would be leaving alone, and Rachel couldn't help but feel hurt. Did he have so little faith in her abilities? Had she not proven herself?

“Maybe I can convince the Council to let you come along with me on my mission,” Matyus said. “It’s nothing exciting, but I think you'd like it.”

“Where are you going?”

“A small planet called Pantora. There's a force-sensitive child there that the family has asked us to test.”

“If they know the child is Force-sensitive, why do we need to test them?”

“Just to make sure, I guess. I’ve never really questioned it. Nearly all of the children who are tested come back with us.”

“Nearly all?”

“Sometimes the family changes their mind, and they have that right.”

She nodded. It would be interesting to see how children came to the Jedi normally. Her own introduction had been very out of the ordinary, and she was curious.

“Want me to ask?”

“I suppose the worst they can do is say no, right?”

“Exactly! I’ll go ask Master Zhulung if he thinks it’s all right.”

He turned and walked quickly down the large hallway towards one of the turbolifts.

She knew it would be better than waiting around for Master Ywin to return, but how would he see it if he returned before they did?

It wasn’t long before Matyus found her in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

“He said no!” Matyus exclaimed in frustration. “Can you believe that? He said no!”

“I honestly expected it,” Rachel said evenly, still sitting on the ground by one of the fountains.

“Why do they keep doing this to you? It’s not fair! You should be a Jedi Knight with everything that you can do. I think you’d be able to pass your trials if you took them right now.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“You don’t think so?”

“There is a lot of stuff I don’t know about the galaxy yet, let alone being a Jedi. I know there are things I still need to learn.”

He paused, but he still paced. “Then why wouldn’t they let you come on this mission and learn more?”

“Because you aren’t my Master.”

“That shouldn’t matter,” he huffed. “Padawans go on missions with Knights that aren’t their Masters all the time. Why should you be different?”

That, she hadn’t known. “Maybe because they need to keep an eye on me,” she thought out loud.

He turned and stared at her. “Why would they need to keep an eye on you? You’ve done nothing wrong. If anything, Master Ywin should be doing a better job of being a Master.”

She couldn’t argue with that, so she just looked away. She didn’t want to tell him about the Council’s mandate for her to not contact Thran or leave the Temple without her Master. That mandate was probably the reason they weren’t letting her go with Matyus.

“Well,” he seemed to finally give in. “At least come to the creche when I get back. I think you’d like it. And you can at least meet the new arrival.”

“Ok. Let me know when you get back.”

He nodded. “See you soon.”

He walked off, and Rachel turned back to the datapad she was studying.

Apparently, what she had done with the reek on Ylesia and had thought about doing with the Killiks was a real, learned Force skill. How she had done it without learning it, she didn’t know, but she wanted to get better at it and be able to do it when she needed it.

By the time Matyus returned two days later, Master Ywin still hadn’t come back from his mission. He asked Rachel to join him in the creche to meet Elnora Ri.

The creche was a lot smaller than Rachel thought it would be given the number of children she thought the Jedi brought in. There were, perhaps, six kids altogether varying from infants to toddlers.

Matyus was holding the newest arrival in his arms. She was a young, blue-skinned girl with dark blue hair. Other than her eyes, Rachel would have believed that she was Chiss. She guessed that Elnora was no older than two as she squirmed to get down from Matyus’ arms to go and play with the other toddlers.

“Does she understand?” Rachel asked, walking next to Matyus.

“That this is her new life?” He gazed at the little girl. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it. The Masters who work in the creche are really good with them though, and their training begins almost right away.”

“Really? How?”

“I don’t remember,” Matyus chuckled. “You’d have to ask the Masters or stay for a lesson or two.”

Matyus had been brought here at their age. She’d been brought here two years ago. There was so much she didn’t understand or know, and she wondered if she ever would.

“You ok?” Matyus’ words shook her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah. Just thinking.” She watched Elnora play with the other children without a care or thought about home or her family. All the Jedi grew up that way. They didn’t know their families. She would likely know where she’d come from based on the fact that she was Pantoran, but she would never know her parents or if she’d had any siblings, what her house or home had been like. It seemed odd.

“Well, how about we think somewhere else,” Matyus said. “Feel up to sparring?”

“Sure,” she answered without thinking.

As they turned to leave, Matyus turned and looked at Elnora again. “You know,” he said, “she could wind up being your Padawan someday.”

Rachel turned and stared at him.

“I’m joking,” he said with a laugh. “By the time she’s old enough, you could already have another Padawan or be doing who knows what.”

But she thought about it and wondered what kind of teacher she would be.

No.

She shouldn’t teach. Not when she was already struggling with the teachings and philosophies the Jedi were trying to teach her. It would probably be better if she didn’t pass that on.

They spent the remainder of the afternoon sparring, and Ixenri joined them. Rachel still felt a little out of practice, but these two were easier to beat than Master Ywin was, so she felt it was better training.

“Alrigh’,” Ixenri said breathless after losing the last spar. “I gotta know how you got so good at this.”

“She’s a natural,” Matyus said, laughing at him from the side where he’d been watching.

“But she came here this good,” he said. “I gotta know what ‘er secret is.”

“If you didn’t know how to fight, you died,” Rachel said, shrugging her shoulders. “My father made sure I knew that.”

“What kinda creatures did ya have to fight?” Ixenri asked.

She knew she needed to be careful. It wasn’t known that she wasn’t from this galaxy. Thran had told the Council she was from a remote planet in the Unknown Regions, and until he gave her permission to share anything otherwise, she would stick with that story as best she could. “You don’t really have them in this part of the galaxy,” Rachel answered.

“Oh yeah. I forget tha’ yer not from here.”

“Can you describe them?” Matyus asked.

“Um,” Rachel thought. It couldn’t hurt to describe Earth’s animals, right? They would never travel to the Unknown Regions to try and find her made up homeworld, anyway, right? “There were bears. Those could be lethal, especially in the spring when they had cubs. Wolves were dangerous if you came across a pack by yourself.”

“You have wolves?” Ixenri asked excitedly.

“There are more wolves in the galaxy?”

“I don’t know if they’re the same, but yeah!”

“Cool. Um, what else. Oh, don’t ever mess with the moose.”

“Moose?” Matyus asked.

“Kind of a huge deer looking thing with gigantic antlers.”

His gaze still held no understanding.

“I never thought I’d have to describe these animals,” Rachel said.

“Sounds like you grew up in a dangerous place,” Ixenri said.

“It was,” Rachel admitted. “But it was also very beautiful. There were mountains and valleys, forests and clearings that would flower in the spring after a long winter, a large river that came from the mountains through our land.”

“That sounds amazing,” Matyus said.

“It was,” she said, feeling a sudden sadness fill her chest. They both seemed to notice.

“That’s why you like the fountain room so much, isn’t it?” Matyus asked, trying to change the subject.

She nodded.

“Whatta ‘bout the lake?” Ixenri asked. “You gone swimmin’ there yet?”

She tensed. “I didn’t exactly bring a swimsuit with me from Earth,” she tried to smile. Not to mention, she wasn’t a great swimmer. She’d always been afraid of larger bodies of water after watching two classmates drown on a class trip, but they didn’t need to know that. Plus, the cold, rushing river on her grandpa’s land didn’t make the best swimming area.

“You can swim in yer under-robes,” he laughed.

She tried to laugh. “And walk dripping wet through the Temple back to my room? No thanks.”

They both laughed.

“You can bring a towel,” Matyus said, still laughing.

“We should do it sometime,” Ixenri’s excitement was contagious.

“We should,” Matyus agreed and looked at Rachel.

“All right,” she reluctantly gave in. The lake couldn’t be that deep anyway, could it?

They left the training room and went to the dining hall for dinner where Izo met them, and they again discussed the idea of swimming in the lake. Izo was all for it, but it would have to wait because he was leaving for a mission with Ketrin in the morning.

Rachel thought about calling Thran that night, but she didn’t know what to talk with him about. She had already told him about Alderaan, and she wasn’t ready to share any more about Ylesia with him. She could tell him about the children she had briefly met, but it didn’t seem all that significant. So she decided to leave it for now.

Chapter Text

When Master Ywin returned from his mission, he was elusive about the details, and didn’t share where he had been or what he had done, and Rachel felt a strange change in his demeanor, as though something on the mission had gone wrong that he didn’t want to talk about.

“What did you study in my absence,” he asked her, avoiding any more of her questions.

She sighed to herself. “I learned more about Force-bonding with animals.”

“You don’t think you already have a grasp on that?” he asked, a hint of impatience in his tone.

“I didn’t know what I was doing when I first did it,” she countered. “If I had to do it again, I want to make sure I do it right.”

“What else?”

“I practiced more Huttese like you wanted,” she said quietly. As much as she had hated the instruction, she knew better than to go against him.

“And how is it coming?” he switched to the language.

The harshness scraped her ears and brought up images she wanted to forget. “It goes well,” she said in Huttese.

“Very good,” he returned to Basic. “Anything else?”

“I started to learn something new that I didn’t know about,” she said, glancing up at him. “Tracking with the Force?”

“Ah,” he said. “Yes. This is a very useful skill. Perhaps we shall have to test it.”

“I haven’t gotten very far in the study,” Rachel admitted.

“This skill is better taught through practical study rather than theoretical.”

She nodded.

“We have nothing going on currently, perhaps a trip is in order.”

“To where?”

“If I told you, that would be cheating.”

They departed from the hangar in a small shuttle after Master Ywin had made some arrangements. Apparently, this was a standard test that some of the Jedi went through to test or hone their skills in the Force. She would be tracking another Jedi through some kind of terrain and use her skills to find him before he reached his shuttle.

“Does this simulate trying to catch a prisoner that’s trying to escape?” Rachel asked, thinking through the test.

“In a way,” Master Ywin answered. “The main goal is to focus on the present and feel the Force as it surrounds you, allowing it to guide you and see things that your eyes would not normally see.”

“But if the Jedi reaches his shuttle before I find him, I fail?”

“Not necessarily. If you are able to track him to his shuttle this first time, it will be successful. If you catch him before he reaches his shuttle, that would be extraordinary. Since you have not trained in this skill, I do not expect either this time around.”

Master Ywin brought the shuttle down in a forested area, and he let Rachel lead.

“I will only give you guidance if you truly need it, Padawan. Otherwise, this is your mission.”

She nodded, and as she looked ahead of her, she was reminded briefly of home. If home had bushes with thorns as long as her hand and trees with black and red leaves.

She took a breath and forced herself to focus. She was here to track. She could do that. She had done it hundreds of times back home. It was how her grandfather had taught her to find food and lay snares. Only now, she had the Force to help her.

Closing her eyes, she reached out to sense the forest around her, and she had the vague sense that someone was watching her, but not Master Ywin. As she followed the sensation and tried to gauge the mind of what it was, it felt familiar.

There was a sensation of laughter before she felt the mind leave, and she turned her face in the direction Matyus had gone.

If he was who she was tracking, this was going to be easy.

She started running in the direction he had fled, and found the terrain was similar to the terrain she had grown up with. Only now, she had the Force to help her jump up and over the large rocks she’d had to find ways around on Earth. Climbing up the cliffs was easier using the Force to help strengthen her muscles for longer periods of time. The only difference was the plants that tried to stab her.

Dodging the spikes from the bushes became the biggest obstacle as she tracked Matyus through the forest. There were a couple of times when she had to stop and examine trampled ground to determine if he had made it or if an animal had.

The sun was beginning to set when she felt a vague sense of victory wash over her followed by an exasperated sigh from behind her.

It was dark by the time Rachel finished tracking Matyus to his shuttle, but she had done it without getting lost, and she saw it as a win.

“Not bad,” Matyus said, leaning against the hull of the shuttle.

“You made it far too easy for her,” Master Ywin chided him. “Next time, keep your emotions better in check.”

Matyus looked like a child being scolded. “Yes, Master.”

“We shall do this exercise again another time, Padawan,” he turned to Rachel. “When the one being tracked is not so easily found.”

All sense of success left her body. Even though she had tracked Matyus without getting lost, he didn’t see it as a good thing. He only saw the failings in it. But she knew she would do just as well, if not better, the next time.

When they returned to the Temple, it was night, and Rachel called Thran to tell him about the tracking adventure, but they had barely begun their conversation when Master Ywin opened her door.

She tried to end the call quickly, but she fumbled with the buttons as she shoved the comm into her pocket, but it was too late. Her Master had seen his holoimage.

“You were given strict orders to end your affiliation with that Chiss.” His anger rose, which, given his usual calm and collected state, was terrifying.

She just stared, frozen where she stood. She hadn’t expected him to barge into her room that way.

“Answer me, Padawan.”

“Y-yes,” she managed to say. “He heard about Nar Shaddaa and wanted to know that I was safe.”

“That was months ago,” his glare drilled holes through her.

“We've stayed in contact.”

“Have you learned nothing?” His voice increased in volume. “Attachments are dangerous!”

“Why is having a friend so bad?” Rachel found her frustration finally releasing. “Thran helps me. He encourages me. He's been supportive and caring. I've needed his friendship.”

“And what would happen if you lost him? Hm? What about if he dies?”

She always tried to avoid thinking about it. The thought of losing him brought a sharp stab of pain to her chest, but she knew the correct answer.

“There is no death, there is the Force,” she said, forcing herself to meet her Master’s glare.

“You believe it to be so easy?”

“I never said it was,” she countered. “I know that losing him would hurt, but that’s how life goes. That’s what you’ve taught me. Life begins, and life ends. It all flows as the Force wills it.”

“So you do listen.”

“Of course I listen. I’ve tried to learn everything I can. I want to be a good Jedi.”

“Then let go of your attachment.” He stared her down, his dark blue eyes as cold and sharp as ice.

Rachel felt her jaw and shoulders go rigid as she glared back. “I won’t. If I have to, I will prove to you that I can have him in my life and be the Jedi I’m supposed to be.”

“Defying the Council risks expulsion.”

“The Council never made a decision,” she countered. “I made a challenge and made my case, but they never made a decision.”

“Perhaps it’s time it’s official then.” He began to turn to leave but stopped. “I had come to tell you of a mission presented to us, but I think it will be best if I go alone. It will give you a chance to reconsider your position.”

He left the room before she could say anything.

She sat down on her bed to try and process it. Part of her had wondered if or when they would find out she was still communicating with Thran, but she never expected a confrontation like this.

He was going to leave her behind again. The thought made her stand and start to pace around her room. He told her it would give her time to reconsider her position. But she didn’t need that time. She didn’t want it. She would never change her position.

She knew it was after hours, but she couldn’t stay in her room. Her emotions were too high, and she needed a way to calm down.

Glancing both ways down the hall, she left her room and made her way to the turbolift—no. She couldn’t use it. Someone would hear, and she wasn’t supposed to be awake or out of her room.

She found the stairs, and they led to the main hallway that led to the entrance of the Temple. Glancing both ways, she considered for a moment. They could easily find her in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, but if she left the Temple, they wouldn’t find her. She was already in trouble, how much more could she get in?

Strangely, she didn’t see any guards, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. But it also meant that no one would stop her. Making a quick dash for it, she left the Temple, running down the stairs and down into the city below.

She was surprised how many people were still awake and bustling around at this hour, but that only meant that she could lose herself in the crowd that much easier. She made her way to a taxi and asked the droid for a list of tourist destinations.

It droned out a long list of places, but there was one that sounded interesting.

“What’s at the Monument Plaza?”

“The Monument Plaza is where Umate, the highest mountain of the Manari Mountains is visible and visitable by the public.”

There was still life on this planet?

“I want to go there,” she told the droid.

“Very well,” it said. “Setting course for Monument Plaza.”

The trip wasn’t as long as she expected it to be, and before she knew it, the droid was letting her out. She looked around for a mountain, but, at first, she didn’t see any. She walked around the plaza, passing buildings and kiosks, and there were still a few people there—mostly those who tended to enjoy nightlife it seemed.

Then she saw it. The very tip of a mountain poking through a walkway. This was what was left of Coruscant’s life. They had completely covered it up in city.

As she walked over to it, she could feel the life emanating from it, and she felt sorry for it, which also felt odd. She leaned against the railing that enclosed the mountain and stared at the rock. It had become nothing more than a spectacle.

“It’s beautiful, innit?” She heard a deep male voice come up next to her, and she felt herself tense. “Can you imagine this whole planet lookin’ like this?”

She looked over at the stranger. He was a lean human, a little taller than herself with long, dark blond hair and light brown eyes that seemed slightly too large for his face. He had a bottle of foul-smelling liquid in one hand as he leaned against the railing, and she could only guess what was in it. She tentatively reached out to sense his mind and could sense a fuzziness. He may not have been drunk, but he was no longer sober.

“Of course,” he slurred, turning to look at her, “it isn’t nearly as pretty as you are.”

“I think you have me mistaken for someone else,” she attempted to dissuade him, taking a small step away from him.

“You kiddin’” he closed the gap a little too closely, and she took another step back, “You’ve the most beautiful eyes I ever seen.”

“I think you need to leave, sir,” she said more firmly.

“Sir? Pfff. I don’ have tha’ kinda title,” he took a drink from the bottle.

Rachel looked around, hoping that someone was taking notice of the man’s state, but no one seemed to be paying attention. Was this behavior normal out here?

“I’m sorry,” she said a bit firmer, turning back to him. “I’m not interested.”

She turned around and started to walk away, but she wasn’t sure where she should go.

It didn’t matter though because his hand grabbed her arm firmly.

“Ah, c’mon I can—ugh!”

She swung her elbow backwards into his stomach then turned around and pushed her other hand into his chest before she took a defensive stance ready for him to retaliate.

He coughed and seemed to gag a couple times. “Jeez! Wha’ was tha’ for?”

He looked down and noticed that he’d dropped his bottle which had smashed to pieces on the ground. “Ya made me spill m’dring’!”

His eyes no longer held the seductive playfulness they had a moment ago. Now, they were angry, and Rachel could only think to run. If he was as intoxicated as she thought, he wouldn’t be able to keep up.

Only, she didn’t get far. Apparently, he wasn’t alone. Two more men had materialized behind her, each grabbing an elbow. She attempted to fight, but they were stronger than her. They stuffed something horrid tasting in her mouth and steered her toward an alleyway, and Rachel couldn’t help noticing how everyone around them kept going about their business. Was this so commonplace that no one cared?

They had carried her a ways, and her arms were beginning to lose all feeling from the way the men were holding them behind her back when all of a sudden, one of the men holding her dragged her down, but as she turned her head, she realized that it was because he was in pain. Someone had hit him from behind so hard that he doubled over and was taking her down with him.

“Get ‘im!” the first man shouted, and she felt the other let go of her other elbow.

“Yer comin’ with me,” the first man grabbed her, one arm holding her arms behind her back, the other wrapped around her neck, and he began to drag her further down the alley, turning down another then another as she heard a loud thud.

Then it was quiet.

“Heh heh. Can’ fin’ ya back here,” the man whispered in her ear. His face was too close, and she writhed against his grip as he kissed her neck roughly and his arm that had been around her neck shifted to her waist. “No one can save—”

She heard a sickening crunching sound, and the man went limp next to her, pulling her down, and she took the opportunity to yank out whatever was in her mouth and scramble away from him, turning back to see glowing red eyes bearing down over the body. She tried to get up and run, but she tripped over her robe.

“Ra’chel, you are safe,” she heard his familiar voice.

“Thran?”

He came and knelt next to her. “Did they hurt you?”

She couldn’t hold back the rush of emotions that swept through her as she scooched herself over next to the building closest to her and pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself.

Thran sat next to her and attempted to wrap his arm around her shoulder, but she tensed and tried to move away. “Don’t touch me!” she almost yelled.

“I am sorry,” he said, the pain evident in his face and voice as he withdrew his arm and moved back.

While a part of her mind knew he wouldn’t hurt her, her defenses were on high alert, and as much as she trusted him, she didn’t want anyone near her.

Hugging her knees tightly, she rested her head against them, trying to calm herself down.

There is no emotion, there is peace. She thought as she tried to take calming breaths.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

Whoever wrote that never experienced what she had.

“Can I do anything?” Thran asked softly.

She thought about it after taking a few more breaths, feeling some of her senses returning, and she looked over at the dead body.

“You already have,” she told him.

He’d protected her—saved her. If he hadn’t been there, she didn’t know what they would have done to her.

If he hadn’t been there…

She raised her head and looked at him. “How did you know I was here?”

“You…left your comm on,” he said hesitantly. “You turned the image off and muted me, but you left it on.”

She must have been so flustered by Master Ywin’s entrance that she had hit the wrong buttons.

“At first, I was not sure if you had done it on purpose so that once your Master left, we could resume our conversation, but then I realized it had been accidental. I had been about to hang up the call when I heard what sounded like footsteps echoing. If you were still in your room, those sounds would not make sense. When I heard Coruscant street traffic, I realized that you had left the Temple, and I grew concerned. I listened to where you told the taxi droid to take you, and I departed immediately for the same place.”

“I guess it’s a good thing you did.”

“I am glad I did, though I do apologize for listening to your conversation with your Master.”

She thought back to her outburst at Master Ywin. It hadn’t been anything she wouldn’t have told him about anyway.

“Would you truly risk expulsion?” he asked.

“I don’t think it will come to that,” she answered.

He hesitated. “That is not an answer,” he said slowly.

She knew it wasn’t.

“I came to this galaxy because you believed that I could be a Jedi. Now, I find that some of the things I believe in don’t match up with things the Jedi hold as deep philosophies. I don’t know if I can give up what I believe in just to fit what they say I should be.” She thought a moment more. “So, I guess I would risk it. If they see what I can do and know what kind of Jedi I can be, why would they expel me? Just because I think friendships aren’t a bad thing? Because I don’t believe emotions are evil? And if they do expel me…” What? She hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. She didn’t know the galaxy well enough.

“You would be welcome among the Chiss,” Thran said firmly. “I do not care what some of the Aristocra still believe. You would be welcome.”

She stared at him. “You mean it.”

“Of course I do.”

Her shoulders relaxed, and she felt a small smile slowly tug at her lips. “Thank you.”

He smiled briefly, but his forehead creased with concern again. “Are you sure they did not harm you?”

“Only bruises,” she tried to assure him, but she knew that Nar Shaddaa was in the back of his mind as much as it was in hers.

He nodded, but she could see in his face a pain and sadness

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

He looked at the ground briefly as though considering before looking at her and turning slightly, his arm dropping slightly.

“May I?” he asked gently, the same pained look on his face. “Please.”

She knew what he was asking, and she felt herself instinctively stiffen as she looked at his arm, but this was Thran. He wouldn’t hurt her. He protected her.

While her shoulders remained rigid, the rest of her body relaxed slightly, and she nodded slowly.

He moved closer, keeping his eyes on hers as though to make sure it was still ok, and he wrapped his arm around her.

At first, she tensed against the contact, but he respected her space, and kept his other arm rested on his knees while he held her with his other arm. Yet, even with his one-armed grip, he held her tightly, and she slowly allowed herself to lean against his shoulder, and she felt him rest his head against hers. His relief and caring surrounded her like a blanket, and, slowly, she felt her shoulders relax. Here, she felt safe. He would protect her and keep her safe.

“Thank you,” she whispered, as her eyes closed.

His grip tightened briefly, and he whispered something about being glad she was safe, but she had become suddenly exhausted. Between trying to fight and the fear and memories that invaded her mind and the flood of emotions that followed it all, all of it had left her depleted, but she had never felt this tired before. Was it because she finally felt safe? Because she knew that Thran would protect her?

She didn’t know how long she had drifted off for when she jerked and remembered where she was. For a few minutes, everything had ceased to exist, but she sat up and knew that she needed to return to the Temple.

“I need to get back,” she said even though she dreaded what awaited her.

“Do you for wish me to accompany you?”

He didn’t seem at all fazed by the fact that she had almost fallen asleep in his arms.

“I suppose it can’t do any more harm,” she said. “I’m probably in enough trouble as it is.”

“I will go with you.”

“Thank you.”

Chapter Text

While there hadn’t been any guards visible when she left the temple, there was one waiting when she returned. He didn’t say anything, but she knew he would be telling the Council. But she was already going to defend herself regarding staying in contact with Thran, so what was one more thing?

The following morning, she was prepared for the Council to call her in and make her give her defense, but Master Ywin met her at her door.

“We’re leaving,” he said curtly. “Pack your bag.”

“I thought you wanted me to stay behind?” she asked, confused.

“I've decided it'll be better for you to be as far away from here as possible. It'll be less temptation.”

She knew what he really meant. As long as Thran was on Coruscant, she'd want to see him.

She quickly grabbed a bag and followed him.

“Where are we going?”

“Ryloth,” he answered. “There is a tribal dispute due to how their senator is handling a refugee situation. We are bringing food and medical supplies for the refugees and talking with the leaders of both groups.”

Rachel nodded. She remembered reading about Ryloth on her voyage on the Star Jumper. It was the Twi’lek’s homeworld, and it had already sustained many civil wars in its time.

“Do the people often fight with themselves?” she asked.

“You've done some reading, I see,” he said, glancing sideways at her. “Unfortunately, yes, they do. And we've always been called upon to settle the disputes. Hopefully, this will be quick and not result in war.”

During the three-day shuttle ride, Master Ywin had her practice her lightsaber forms, correcting each small detail. It took her until the fourth correction to realize why. As the Battlemaster, he wanted her to be the best, so her form needed to be perfect.

She also realized the timing of his taking her on: after watching her duel. She had easily defeated Matyus in combat even though she had been blindfolded, and he had activated a training droid. She’d proven how disciplined she was as a duelist even without much direct teaching.

Perhaps he believed that she could be one of the best with his teaching.

So, she heeded his instructions, trying not to become frustrated with herself when she would make some of the same mistakes time after time.

“Keep your movements tight to your body, Padawan,” he said again. “This form relies on your defensive movements. If you allow even the slightest opening, you risk exposing yourself to defeat.”

With a sigh, she began again.

Ryloth was a bomb ready to detonate, and all Rachel could sense was hostility and fear.

As she unloaded the medical supply crates from the ship onto a hover sled, Master Ywin greeted a larger, heavy-set Twi’lek. His skin was a dark green, and his headtails seemed different from most of the other Twi’leks she had met. While he had two shorter ones falling down his chest, he had a third reaching down his back. She looked around and saw some of the other Twi’leks had this same trait.

Was this the difference?

She followed Master Ywin and the Twi’lek into the city, which was big—some of the buildings were carved into the side of a mountain. The freestanding ones were also made of stone, but they were not as large as those carved into the cliff.

Master Ywin talked with the larger Twi’lek, which he introduced to her as Senator Chedd Odus, and they were waiting on the leader from the other faction, Chi’rus Izzan.

When he arrived, Rachel felt the tension in the room become palpable.

This Twi’lek looked like others she had met. His headtails were longer, wrapping around his neck, and his skin was a pale orange, similar to her clanmate Morara.

The negotiations began with accusations from both sides and a very heated argument. Master Ywin seemed to allow them to get it out for a while before interrupting them, or perhaps he was listening to both sides.

She knew she was. Senator Odus defended that he had the interests of Ryloth in mind, but Chi’rus accused the Senator of being out of touch with what really went on here. Apparently, a famine had been taking place, and a plague had spread through many of the cities, but no food or aid had been sent from the Republic. Senator Odus accused Chi’rus of harboring what aid had been sent for his own people, allowing the others to starve and die.

“Enough,” Master Ywin said, standing up. “These allegations are going nowhere, and you have no proof either way. Padawan.” He addressed her.

“Yes?”

“Go to the faction camp with the supplies and see if you can find evidence of any other Republic aid having been sent.”

“Now wait just a—”

“We,” he interrupted the Senator, “are going to discuss negotiations on both sides for peace.”

“Where is the camp?” Rachel asked.

“Here are the coordinates,” Chi’rus said, handing her a datacard. “I assure you; you will find no evidence to support the Senator’s claim.”

As she took the datacard, she looked at the Twi’lek, and she sensed no deceit from him.

Master Ywin's stern expression was firmly on the Senator as she turned to leave.

She loaded the medical supplies onto a hover sled and hooked it up to a speeder, and she set out for the coordinates.

As she drove, she took in the landscape. It was dry, and everything looked dead. There had indeed been a drought here. What animals she saw, she sensed to be on edge and in survival mode. The landscape itself reminded her of pictures she’d seen in school of the American southwest before it had been overwhelmed by commercialism.

The rocky formations and valleys cut through the land naturally, and she followed it with the speeder. She knew she was following what had once been a riverbed based on the way the ground was cracked.

The speeder’s locater chirped indicating that she was arriving at the designated coordinates, and, up ahead, she saw shelters surrounding the mouth of a cave carved into one of the mesas.

No one was hostile there. They were all very grateful for the medical supplies and what food there was to offer. She walked around the camp to see if there was evidence of other Republic crates or storage containers, but she saw none. All she saw were sick and emaciated Twi’leks.

They were sad to see her leave, and she felt bad leaving them there. They deserved better than to be stuck out here without proper shelter, food, water, or medicine. And she hoped to help Master Ywin get the Senator to see reason.

Yet, when she returned with her report and findings, it seemed to only solidify an agreement that had already been reached, and Senator Odus’ attitude seemed different somehow.

“What did you tell him?” she asked her Master as they boarded their shuttle to return to Coruscant.

“I merely encouraged him to see reason,” he answered, putting an odd emphasis on the word. “Your findings at the camp only reinforced the discussion. What you found was exactly what I suspected. Tell me,” he said, sitting down at the controls to the shuttle, preparing for takeoff, “What did you sense from the two that gave you that prepared you to find what you did?”

“The faction leader had no deceit in his mind or heart,” she answered.  “He truly wanted what was best for his people.”

“Very good. Such instincts are what will guide you in these kinds of negotiations.”

“Yes, Master.” He'd actually praised her. It was a stark contrast to his harsh words before they had left.

“Now,” he continued as the ship exited the atmosphere, “I believe you have a defense to prepare for the Council.”

He hadn’t forgotten. Of course not. Her actions were cause for discipline, but she needed to defend herself for what she had done.

“Yes, Master.”

“Padawan Bakandi,” Master Zhulung began, “I believe you understand why you were called here.”

“I know you forbade me to remain in contact with Thran,” she said.

“And yet,” Master Sahga interrupted her, “you disobeyed us.”

“What is more,” Master Brozada chimed in, “you left the Temple, unescorted, and if reports are correct, three men were found dead in proximity to where you were.”

They had heard about that? Who had reported it?

For some reason, it irked her. “Their deaths were reported but not their actions?”

“Explain,” Master Sahga said.

“Yes, I left the Temple that night. I was upset, and I wanted to clear my head. When I was in Monument Plaza, I was attacked by those three men, but no one seemed to care. No one in the plaza came to help me, raised any kind of alarm or called the police or anything.”

“Yet you escaped, and they are dead,” Master Brozada said evenly.

“Thran found me,” she explained. “I accidentally left my comm on and he heard where I was going when I told the taxi droid. If he hadn’t, I don’t know what those men would have done.”

“He killed them?” Master Zev asked.

“I know he killed the one for sure. I never saw what happened to the other two.”

“And yet,” Master Noor spoke up, “if you hadn’t been in contact with the Chiss in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened at all.”

She hated that he was right, but she still felt her defenses rise.

“This is the kind of trouble such attachments can cause,” Master Brozada said, leaning forward in his seat as he gazed at her, his black eyes boring through her.

They were attacking her philosophy on friendships now. She had argued that they were not bad, but here, it had cost her. If she hadn’t called Thran, Master Ywin wouldn’t have seen, and he wouldn’t have been upset, but her emotions had gotten in the way, and she had gotten into trouble. If Thran hadn’t been there, she knew that worse things could have happened.

How could she defend herself or Thran?

She felt her shoulders drop in submission. “I wish I could make you see that you’re wrong,” she said softly.

“This belief has stood for hundreds of years and been proven true,” Master Ywin said.

“Why should my friendship with Thran be any different than my friendships with Matyus or Izo?” she refuted, glaring at her Master.

“What would you feel if something happened to either of them?” he countered back evenly.

She knew she would be upset, but for some reason, she knew the loss wouldn’t affect her as deeply as Thran’s would.

“Your attachment to the Ambassador is strong,” Master Sahga said, watching her closely.

She turned and began to look at them all. They had already decided, it seemed, but she had one more argument she could make—one piece of history that played in her favor.

“So, I’m being judged for having a friend?” Her voice rose. “Is that it? My training and everything I’ve learned means nothing because I have too close of a friendship with someone who isn’t a Jedi? Is that why no one talks about Revan?”

There was a collective stirring in the room, and a couple of them looked at each other. She knew she had them then. They hadn’t expected it.

“Where did you hear that name?” Master Hetta asked.

“The histories talk about his actions both for and against the Jedi and the allies that helped him. Forgetting about him and refusing to talk about him seems a poor way to repay his actions. Not to mention the extent to which his wife went to save him. And he her.”

“Their attachment to each other may have been what helped save each other from their respective dark paths,” Master Zhulung interjected, “however, they chose to leave the Order.”

“What choice were they given? They proved that love isn’t bad. They showed the Council that attachments are not bad, but they were too important to banish from the Order, so instead they were allowed to fade into obscurity.”

“One example over the hundreds of years and thousands of Jedi that have existed does not justify your position,” Master Zhulung said firmly.

“But how many more could there have been if they had been allowed to teach?”

They were silent, but she could sense their frustration. She was making a point that they didn’t like. Either they would expel her or reprimand her harshly, and she took a slow breath, prepared for whichever came.

There was a pause before Master Zhulung delivered the blow.

“Padawan Bakandi,” he began, “for your actions, you are again forbidden from contacting the ambassador. A new comm will be issued to you so that he will not have the code. You are forbidden to leave the Temple, and the guards will apprehend you should you try. The only reason you should leave your quarters is to train with your Master or to go on assigned missions. You must regain our trust. Dismissed.”

Each sentence felt like a punch in the stomach, and as she walked to her quarters, she saw the unfairness, and yet she knew it could have been worse. They didn’t know about the Chiss comm.

Chapter Text

It had been weeks since Thran had heard from Rachel. The last time was that night he’d taken her back to the Temple after what had happened in Monument Plaza. No one had come after him for what he had done, which surprised him. He knew crime on Coruscant wasn’t uncommon, but for three dead bodies to be found and not investigated more thoroughly seemed odd.

Unless they suspected Rachel was to blame.

But that couldn’t be the case. She had been there, yes, but she had been the victim, not those men. They had deserved what they got. Who knew how many other women they had harmed in a similar fashion. Perhaps that was why no one pressed charges.

At any rate, he didn’t lose sleep over it. What he did worry about was how The Council had seen Rachel’s actions. She wasn’t supposed to leave the Temple, and she had done just that. She wasn’t supposed to be in contact with him, and he had been the one who walked her back to the Temple entrance. Surely the Temple guard had reported that to the Council.

Her continued silence only made him more uneasy as the days dragged by. His comm remained within constant reach, and he resisted the urge to contact her.

It was late at night when it finally chirped with her code, and he answered it quickly. She spoke in Cheunh, which at first seemed odd, but when she explained the Council’s ruling and her new mandated isolation, he understood that she didn’t want to be overheard should anyone be listening.

When she began to tell him about the defense she’d given, he found every point she made to be rooted in logic, and her final point about a Jedi named Revan was intriguing. He’d heard about a Revan, but he had been a Sith, not a Jedi.

“This Revan you brought up,” he said. “We have very limited knowledge of him, and what we know isn’t of him being a Jedi.”

She didn’t seem surprised. “Revan’s dealings in the Unknown Regions were during his time under the influence of the dark side,” she said. “It makes sense that is all you have heard.”

“I haven’t studied much about him, but he seems like an unusual Jedi. You said he was married?”

“He was,” she answered. “His wife Bastilla formed a strong Force bond with him when she healed him from extensive wounds during a battle, and she helped to bring him back to the light. It was that bond that helped Revan bring her back from the dark side when she was turned.”

“That’s an incredible story,” he said, and he meant it. He’d never heard of such a thing as a Force bond before, and he wondered what that must have been like for them.

“The Council of their time did not like it though,” she continued. “Just like mine does not. Even though Revan and Bastilla proved that their love was good and that their relationship had been the source of their strength, their Council refused to see it and wanted to banish them.”

He thought back to the conversation he had overheard between Rachel and her Master.

“Your Council has threatened the same, hasn’t it?”

But even as the words were out of his mouth, he knew that their situation wasn’t the same. Revan and Bastilla were married. It had been their love that had been what their Council forbade. If anything, Rachel’s Council was harsher if they were willing to expel her for merely being friends with an outsider.

“Not in so many words,” she answered, “but I believe it has crossed their minds.”

“Why do they fear it?”

She hesitated. “Fear would be a strong word. Fear is the beginning of the path to the dark side.”

But didn’t they also believe that her friendship with him would lead her down that path? How was their fear any different?

“Be that as it may,” he countered, “your Council seems to be afraid of your discernment in this matter the same as Revan’s Council was afraid of him.”

“Maybe.”

But, again, he knew it was different, and he wondered if she was thinking about it too. Revan’s argument had been about love and marriage. Rachel’s argument was about attachments in general. The Council was afraid of their friendship the way Revan’s was afraid of his love.

“I do wonder what the Order would be like if he would have been allowed to teach,” she said.

He knew the answer. If Revan’s teachings had been allowed to prevail, Rachel wouldn’t be in isolation. This conversation wouldn’t be happening late at night and in secret. Their friendship never would have been discouraged the way it had been. But a part of him also knew that their friendship was that much stronger because of it.

“Perhaps you will have the opportunity he never had,” he told her.

She laughed. “They would never allow me to teach.”

“You think they fear you that much?”

She hesitated. “I do not know if fear is the right word.”

“What else would you call it?” he challenged.

She didn’t seem to have an answer.

“Ra’chel, you have presented an argument that they can’t counter. Your points proved that their beliefs are wrong, and they don’t like it. And using Revan’s story only proves your stance further because it shows that this has been an issue before. Just because a philosophy has been unchallenged for centuries does not make it correct.”

She was silent for a minute, and he wondered if he had said something wrong.

“I will not give up,” she said softly.

He smiled. “I didn’t think you would. Giving up isn’t in your nature.”

“Are you saying I am stubborn?”

“In a good way,” he said with a smirk. “You don’t back down from fighting for what you believe in. It’s an admirable trait.”

“One that has gotten me into all kinds of trouble.”

“I think we’ve both had our share of that,” he said, knowing they both were fighting their respective battles against long held beliefs.

“I think you are having better luck than I am,” she told him.

He was silent for a moment. “What you have done for the Ascendency cannot be repaid, Ra’chel, and I am very grateful for everything you’ve done for my people. I will never let them forget what you’ve done. I only wish there was more I could do to help you fight for your beliefs.”

“Unfortunately, I do not think the Council will allow that.”

He knew she was probably right, but he promised he would not stop looking for a way to help.

The following weeks, Rachel tried to occupy herself as best she could, and Master Ywin pushed her to her limits in her training, having her learn all kinds of new things, and she did her best to learn them all as quickly as she could.

He took her up to the roof of the Temple and had her look out and see if she could spot something far off in the distance, and when she asked him how she was supposed to be able to, he instructed her in how to enhance her vision. It took a few tries, but she soon found that she could see, in detail, things from far off distances. It was incredible.

He taught her other lightsaber forms so that she could be better versed in combat, but he had her mainly focus and hone in on the two she knew best.

When he had her train against the training droids, he had her focus on levitating a large block while still locating the droid and blocking the incoming stun blasts it sent. The amount of concentration it took pushed her, and she loved it. Soon, he had her levitating two blocks of different sizes and blocking against three droids.

She tried asking him if she could go to the Archives to find more to read, but he refused, and she wondered if it was because of what she had found in the histories of Revan. Was he worried she’d find other things the Council wouldn’t like?

Two months into her isolation, she woke and was ready for Master Ywin to come get her for training, but he didn’t appear at her door. She waited patiently on her bed and tried to meditate, but the morning passed without him showing up.

When her door did open, it was a Temple Guard bringing her something to eat.

“Where’s Master Ywin?” she asked.

“He left,” she said. “Only said he had business off-planet and to bring you meals.”

She nodded. So, she was still meant to stay in isolation.

For a moment, she thought about calling Master Zev and asking him if she could go to the lake or fountain room, but she wondered if he was also busy.

She would have to occupy her time as best she could until her Master came back.

She meditated, and worked on her lightsaber forms, but by the time he came back two weeks later, she was going stir crazy.

“Padawan,” he greeted her tiredly.

“Master,” she bowed. “What are we learning today?”

“I’ve been told that you obeyed your mandate in my absence,” he ignored her question.

“Yes.”

“The Council decided that you can move through the Temple again, but you will stay in the Temple.”

“Unless we have a mission, right?”

“Yes.”

He began to turn to walk down the hall, and she started to follow him, but he stopped and turned to face her.

“Where are you going?” he asked her.

“Are we not training today?”

He shook his head. “Not today.” He turned and walked away from her.

She stood there unsure of what to do, wondering if perhaps wherever he had been had tired him out more than she knew, and that was why he didn’t want to train her.

Regardless, she could now go wherever she wanted in the Temple again, and she knew exactly where she wanted to go.

There was a group of Younglings swimming in the lake when she got there, and she noticed that the young Pantoran girl was with them—Elnora, if she remembered correctly. She had no fear of the water, and Rachel watched the small children play on the beach while she sat on the other side and just enjoyed being among life again.

The following weeks, Master Ywin’s training changed. He no longer pushed her as he had before. When she tried to push herself past what he was teaching her, he stopped her and made her start again.

He was having her learn basic things, too. Lifting things with the Force, jumping and using the force to enhance her muscles and strength, memory enhancement techniques, and he made her go back to form one lightsaber mechanics.

But she knew that she could do more. She had done more. She could track people’s minds through the Force, reach into and connect with the minds of creatures, and she’d been able to heal herself using a healing trance.

Was he worried she was more advanced than she should be? But why? She was older than almost all the other Padawans and some of the Knights. Why shouldn’t she know just as much as them?

What really brought a sting was when another major mission came up, and he left her behind again. She knew there was more she could learn from travelling and going on missions with him than she could here in training rooms, but he left her here, and it began to irritate her.

When he returned two weeks later, she confronted him about it.

“The mission led me back into Hutt Space,” he told her flatly. “I knew it had that potential, and I didn’t think you had a desire to return there.”

She didn’t, but for him to make that decision for her didn’t seem fair. “How am I going to face that fear if I don’t go back, Master?”

He lifted his chin and looked down at her. “You think you’re ready for that?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But I’m going to have to be at some point.”

“Hmm. Perhaps.” He walked down the hallway towards the training rooms. “Are you coming?”

When they entered the training room, there was a pair of Jedi Knights sparring, and Master Ywin waited until they were done before going to the center and igniting his saber.

“Let us see, Padawan, what you can do.”

He pushed her hard for a long time, and she did hold her own, but she was no match for him. He had years of experience and discipline on her. By the end, she was sweating and breathing hard, and a fair number of Jedi had appeared on the observation balcony to watch.

“Not bad,” Master Ywin told her as he extinguished his blade. He wasn’t breathing nearly as hard as she was, but she was glad she had pushed him into sweating a little.

“Perhaps someday, when I am old, you will be able to beat me.”

Chapter Text

Over the following months, Master Ywin seemed to finally trust her and took her on missions with him. She saw planets and species and creatures she never knew existed, and she did her best to absorb it all. Through each experience, she watched her Master closely hoping to learn from him as much as she could in how he handled things from negotiations to mediating and even stopping fights with his lightsaber.

One afternoon, the Council called her, and she could tell from the tension in the room that something had happened.

“You and I will be going on a rescue mission, Padawan,” Master Ywin said from his Council seat. “Jedi N’ami Lalent and her Padawan were escorting the Senator of Taris to Coruscant, and their ship came under fire, and it hasn’t been found. Only rumors and sightings.”

“You must be careful when handling this,” Master Zhulung. “Taris is a delicate situation, and this Senator is bringing important information to the Senate regarding a blockade that has formed around his planet.”

“The Jedi are taking sides?” Rachel asked.

“Those who are forming the blockade are not members of the Republic,” Master Sahga said. “And the Senator requested our help. Therefore, we responded by sending an escort.”

“We did not, however, realize the extent to which this threat would go,” Master Zhulung said. “Therefore, you and Master Ywin must depart as soon as possible.”

Rachel bowed and turned to leave.

She met her Master at the hangar, but he led her to a small civilian transport.

He seemed to notice her reaction. “We will not be as noticeable if we travel in this ship,” he told her.

She nodded and got on board.

“What are we looking for when we go to these places?” she asked.

“We will be starting where the initial attack happened,” he told her. “I want to test your tracking skills.”

Her forehead tensed. “We can track through space?”

“In a way. But only by those with a real gift for it, and I want to test yours.”

It took them about a day to reach the site of the attack, and Rachel stared out the viewport at the remains of the transport vessel. It had been torn to shrapnel.

“Was this ship even equipped with weapons?” she asked

“It didn't even have a working hyperdrive,” he answered. “Reach out. What can you sense?”

Closing her eyes, she reached out to the Force and out towards the destroyed ship.

It came so fast. There was death. So many had died on board. Many had been killed by blaster fire. People had boarded. She couldn’t see faces, but she saw lightsabers and blasterfire. She tensed against the noise of it all.

“Relax,” she heard her Master’s voice. “Breathe. Let it come to you.”

She tried to heed his words and took a deep breath. While the noise quieted and the images slowed down, it didn’t become any clearer. There was a deep sense of pain and loss, there was anger, there was submission. She saw one lightsaber as everything faded.

One?

That pain she had felt. One of the Jedi had died. But which one? She briefly opened her eyes before closing them and playing back the memory, focusing on the pain—an innocent pain.

“N’ami is dead,” Rachel whispered as she opened her eyes, still feeling the young Padawan’s grief lingering in her own heart. “Her Padawan gave in to the intruders because she didn’t know what else to do.”

Master Ywin nodded. “You wonder why the basics are pushed so hard on the young. It is so things like this do not happen. The Padawan should have been being trained to handle such things.”

“But her Padawan is young,” Rachel said, looking at him. “N’ami choose her when she was only nine. Children get scared. It’s normal.”

“Not for Jedi,” he said pointedly. “That’s why I push you so hard. You will be better.”

She nodded.

“Can you sense where they went?” he asked.

She reached back out towards the ship but didn't sense anything more than she already had.

“No,” she told him.

 He nodded and steered the ship away from the wreckage. “Then we'll start with the rumors,” he said and pushed the throttles, sending them back into hyperspace.

The first two suspected sightings were further away from the planet, and both turned out to be false, but when they dropped out of hyperspace at the third rumored sighting, a small moon orbiting Taris, Rachel instantly sensed the young Padawan’s fear and saw the extent of the blockade.

“She’s there, Master.”

“I sense her too,” he said. “She should have better control.”

“You don’t know what they’ve put her through,” Rachel countered. “Plus, she’s just lost her Master.”

“And if you lost me, you would be as fearful?” he asked, turning to face her.

“I have more experience with loss,” she countered.

The ship’s comm chimed, and Master Ywin answered it.

“Who is this?” a nasally voice answered the comm.

“Simple merchants,” Master Ywin answered. “We just want to get to the planet, but I think something happened to our engine.”

“What are you selling?”

“That is our business.”

“Prepare to be boarded.”

“That won’t be—”

But the comm clicked off.

“Perfect,” Master Ywin said as the ship shook beneath them. Clearly, they were caught in a tractor beam. “Shall we prepare for our guests?”

“You wanted them to come aboard?” Rachel asked.

“It will be better to use their ship to infiltrate their base where they are holding the Senator and Padawan.”

It was a good plan, she had to admit. She would have to remember that one.

The boarding party consisted of three humans, and as soon as they came through the airlock, Master Ywin quickly relieved them of their weapons with the Force.

“Jedi!” one of them yelled.

Rachel pulled the commlink out of his hand before he could click it on.

“Now,” Master Ywin said, his voice taking on an authoritative tone, “You are going to either tell us where the Senator and Jedi Padawan are, or we will be taking your ship by force to find them ourselves.”

“They’re in the main base!” one of them said quickly. “On the moon—"

“Quiet!” another said.

“I don’t want to get killed,” the first said. “I just took this job for the money, not to die at the hands of the Jedi.”

“Jedi don’ kill fer the heck of it,” the third said.

“You know Jedi so well, do you?” Master Ywin said, bringing out and activating his lightsaber.

Rachel felt her forehead crease. Was he threatening them?

“Take the ship,” the one said. “We’ll use the escape pod. Just don’t kill us.”

“Whassa matter with ya?” the third man asked his companion.

“Get in the escape pod,” Master Ywin told him.

As they led the way through their ship to the escape pod, Rachel reached out to the minds of the men. The two seemed mad and confused, but the one who had given up and seemed afraid was hard to read, and she couldn’t figure out why.

Master Ywin used his lightsaber to slice through the comm on the escape pod before sealing the door and jettisoning it into space.

“Now,” he said, turning to her and extinguishing his saber. “We have a Senator and Padawan to save.”

When they arrived on the moon and entered the main base, there was a fair amount of blaterfire initially, but she found the pirates easy to defeat, and they found the prisoners quickly.

When the Captain confronted them, Rachel expected there to be more violence, but Master Ywin held her back.

 “I don't think further bloodshed is necessary,” he said motioning to the captain. “Don't you agree?”

The captain paused, apparently frozen in an attempt to make a decision. He had two Jedi in front of him who had just bested most of his crew, and they had freed his prisoners.

He lowered his blaster.

“Take the Padawan and Senator back to the shuttle,” Master Ywin instructed her. “I want a word with the captain.”

Her mind spun the whole way back to the waiting shuttle. She had expected the captain to put up more of a fight, but he just…gave in. Was Master Ywin that intimidating? She didn’t think so.

“Your Master certainly has a way with words,” the Senator said. “I can only hope I can persuade the Senate as well as he persuades pirates.”

“I hope the Senate and pirates are not so similar as that,” Rachel said.

The Senator only laughed.

When they returned to their shuttle, Rachel tried to ask her Master how he had managed to convince the captain to give up so easily.

“Some minds are easier to persuade than others,” he said vaguely. “Simply the right words or the right use of force are all that is necessary to influence an individual. We clearly had the upper hand, so he had no reason to keep fighting and waste his own life, did he?”

She had to agree, but a part of it still didn't make sense, and she tried to think on his words the entire trip back to Coruscant, but she couldn’t understand them. She wasn’t sure she would ever have that skill.

N’ami’s Padawan took the passing of her Master very hard, and the Council reassigned her to another Knight after holding a memorial for N’ami.

It was the first time Rachel witnessed such a memorial, and she found it strange to watch. While she didn’t know N’ami very well, she knew those who did. Matyus, Izo, and Ixenri all grew up with her, and she could feel their sense of loss. Her Padawan grieved more openly, but all around her, the faces were stoic and calm. This was how loss was supposed to be met? With stoicism and barred emotion? Was grief so wrong?

This felt wrong. While N’ami hadn’t been her friend, she allowed herself to feel grief because if no one else was going to, she would. N’ami deserved that.

Chapter Text

It was well after hours when Rachel sent a notification to Thran telling him that she wanted to talk to him. She started to place the comm back under her pillow when it chirped.

“I expected you to be long asleep by now,” she answered the comm in Cheunh.

“I probably should be,” he said tiredly.

“We can talk tomorrow, if it would be better.”

“We’re both awake and have time now,” he said. “What is it you wanted to talk about?”

She hesitated for a moment. “I witnessed a Jedi memorial today.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. You knew them?”

“Not well,” she admitted. “But from the way everyone else acted, you would think that no one knew her.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone was so…unemotional. I know we are taught that there is no emotion, there is peace. There is no death, there is the Force, but this was still someone we knew. The Masters trained her. The other Knights trained with her. Her Padawan was the only one who seemed to show any real emotion.”

“That seems odd, but I know I am an outsider to the ways of the Jedi. I don’t know what they teach.”

“Sometimes I do not think I know either.”

“You have been training for quite some time. I would think they’ve been teaching you something over these past years.”

She knew he was trying to joke with her, but it hit a little closer to the mark than she wanted.

“Ra’chel?”

“Sorry. I am still not sure what I am supposed to be learning sometimes.”

“Does your Master not teach you?”

There was an edge to his voice. Thran still hadn't gotten over what Master Ywin had allowed to happen on Nar Shaddaa, and so he didn’t trust him.

“He does,” she said, “but there are times I am not sure I understand what he is teaching me. This last mission, we were rescuing a Senator and N’ami’s Padawan, and Master Ywin was able to persuade the captain of the pirates to let them go after we had fought our way through his whole base.”

“Perhaps he saw the futility in continuing to fight.”

“I do not think so. There was something weird about it. The same thing happened when we took over the pirate’s shuttle in order to get to their base. One of the pirates gave up so easily, and even his companions seemed to think there was something wrong with him.”

“That does sound strange.”

“I asked him how he does it, but he did not have a…not bent…straight answer. So I do not know how I am supposed to learn how to do it.”

“You will,” he said confidently. “However, I don't believe you will persuade people the way your Master does. Remember what you told me about Ryloth? You barely spoke to those refugees, and yet they admired you because of your compassion and selflessness. You didn’t just give them the medical supplies and food the Republic sent, you gave them hope.”

“Anyone would have done that for them.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. You’d resent the Senate sessions and meetings I sit through and listen to Senators talk about themselves with no thought of others. I know the Ascendency is no better, but I hope that one day I can change that.”

She could hear the passion in his voice. He wanted to make a difference and change the way the Ascendency acted in the galaxy.

“You will,” she told him, then smirked. “You are stubborn enough to make it happen.”

“I would hope it’s more than stubbornness that wins over both the Syndicure and the Senate.”

“I think you are pretty good with words too, if I remember right.”

“You’re very funny, Ra’chel,” he said. But she could hear his smile even if she couldn’t see it.

“I will let you sleep,” she said after a moment.

“I hope you sleep well,” he said sincerely.

As she turned off the comm and tucked it under her pillow, she had the sense of someone being nearby, but when she reached out, there was nothing there.

She lied down and tried to sleep as well as she could through the nightmares.

A week later, Master Ywin took her down to one of the meditation chambers in the lower levels. The darkened room only had two chairs, and she took up a meditative position on one while her Master mirrored her on the other.

“Today,” he started, “you will learn something a little different. Most Padawans do not learn this skill as it is rather advanced, but I think you show promise.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Close your eyes,” he said.

She did.

“Reach out and reach into my mind.”

“What?” She opened her eyes again.

“Do as I say,” he said firmly.

She closed her eyes again and tentatively reached towards her Master’s mind but sensed what almost felt like a slap on the hand.

“Don’t be so hesitant,” he scolded her.

Reaching out again, she looked into his mind for what he was thinking or what emotions were going through him, but there was nothing. He was composed and stoic. His walls were built like rock.

“Push through,” he told her. “You will face beings whose minds are more fortified than mine. Push.”

Taking a breath, she imagined his walls as real walls—she could push those easily with the Force. Feeling herself tense, she pushed with her mind against the walls and saw them budge. There were cracks now, so she grabbed a hold of the pieces and pulled. To her surprise, a chunk the size of her head came free, and she was just as quickly pushed back as though a strong gust of wind had burst through the opening, but the images that flashed in front of her were not from her Master’s mind but from her own.

She saw the Room of a Thousand Fountains, the Younglings playing by the lake, the clearing and the stream in the Mitth homestead, Thran holding her in the alleyway, comforting her, and telling her that she was safe.

She opened her eyes and saw her Master staring at her sternly.

“How did you do that?” she asked.

“Much the same way you did, but your mind is significantly weaker and was unprepared.”

Her gaze fell. As much as she hated it when he called her out like that, she knew he was right. He had broken right through her mind and seen whatever he wanted.

“How do I get stronger?” she asked.

“Years of practice and mental discipline,” he told her. “Again.”

She stared at him.

“You will learn to fortify your mind, Padawan,” he said. “Again.”

Steeling herself, she reached back into his mind, but he pushed back just as easily.

“Fortify your mind,” he told her.

She nodded and closed her eyes. Her mind was an open book to her Master. If he could break into it, anyone could, but if she could keep him out, she would be able to ward off any mental attack.

His walls were built like stone. She needed hers to be stronger. Was metal stronger? It depended on the metal.

Shifting on the chair, she felt her lightsaber on her belt.

Nyix. Nyix was a strong alloy that the Chiss used on the hulls of their warships. If she could imagine a wall of nyix around her mind, no one, not even her Master, would be able to get in.

She pictured the metal in her mind as it had been when she formed it around the hilt of her lightsaber, and she pictured her memories and thoughts and emotions being encased inside the strong shield.

The image remained in her mind’s eye as she reached out again to Master Ywin's walls of stone. They didn't break or budge as easily as she hoped after forming her own walls, but he also couldn't get past hers as he had before.

They did mental battle for a few minutes before he finally stopped her.

“Good,” he said. “With more time, discipline, and practice, this skill will become as second nature for you as dueling.”

He paused briefly, studying her. “The main reason I brought you here was to do just as I have, but I also had suspicions that you were somehow still communicating with the Ambassador. Your thoughts dwell on him.”

Feeling her jaw initially tense in defense, she allowed herself to take a breath and relax. “I still don’t see what is so wrong with having a friend,” she said.

He sighed heavily. “You are not going to relent on this issue, are you?”

“No,” she said firmly

“The second reason I brought you down here was to ask you how prepared you feel?”

“Prepared, Master?”

“If you were sent off to a planet today with your own mission to complete, do you feel that you could complete it on your own?”

She was taken aback by the question initially, but as she thought about it, she knew she needed to speak the truth. “Honestly, Master, I don’t know. I’ve learned a lot from you, and I’ve tried to take in as much as I could over the last few years, but if I were sent on my own, I don’t know if I would be able to do it.”

“You’re afraid.”

She looked at him, his cold blue eyes were measuring her, seeing what his time and teaching had managed to produce.

“There is still a lot about the galaxy that I don’t understand. Languages that I don’t know. Species I’ve never heard of. Cultures I don’t understand.”

“And you think you can gain more understanding going from mission to mission or from studying more in the Temple?”

“Isn’t that what a Padawan is supposed to do?”

“There will always be more for you to learn, Padawan. There will always be a new culture to discover. But to fear it is wrong. Fear is the beginning of a terrible path.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do not apologize for it,” he chided. “Rid yourself of it.”

She nodded.

They were quiet for a moment, and Rachel wondered if she was supposed to find a way to meditate the fear away.

But he spoke again. “The Council has been watching your progress these past years, Padawan. They’ve watched your successes and your failures. They know your disagreements with some of the teachings, but you have followed the Jedi path despite this. Your argument about attachments is something that requires further discussion and perhaps further testing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The Council believes that you are ready to attempt your trials,” he said.

She could hear his disagreement though. The Council believed. He didn’t.

“What will they involve?” she asked.

“I have asked to prepare a unique test since you are a unique Padawan here, and they agreed. I have been putting the final preparations together, and with this last test, I believe that we will be able to depart later this week.”

“Depart?”

“While most trials occur within specialized rooms here in the Temple, yours will be held off world in a remote area. I will explain more when everything is set.”

Feeling her forehead tense, she nodded.

He stood and led her from the room, but she didn’t follow him. Instead, she found her way to the dining hall where Matyus, Izo, and Ixenri were already sitting.

“Rachel,” Izo greeted her, “You ok?”

“Yeah,” she said sitting down.

“You sure,” Matyus tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but she tensed and moved a bit out of his reach. “Sorry.”

“I’m fine,” she repeated, crossing her arms in front of her on the table.

“I don’ believe tha fer a secon’” Ixenri said.

She looked at them. They were all staring at her.

“Master Ywin says that the Council thinks I’m ready to go through my trials, but I can tell that he doesn’t think I’m ready.”

“’Course not,” Ixenri said, “He wan’s you to be the best.”

“Council members only take on Padawans if they think they have a lot of potential,” Matyus said. “That’s why Ywin took you on. He saw how good you would be. He isn’t ready to give that up.”

“But I’m not sure I’m ready either,” she admitted. “There’s so much out there that I don’t know or understand. How am I supposed to handle it on my own?”

“You don’,” Ixenri said.

“You’re allowed to ask for help, you know,” Matyus told her.

She stared at them as though the thought hadn’t occurred to her before.

“They don’ send us one at a time on missions, ya know,” Ixenri said. “Knights will go together or have a Padawan if they’re ready.”

“Who knows,” Izo said with a smile, “maybe all of us will end up on a mission together.”

Rachel tried to smile, but for whatever reason, their words didn’t seem to help.

Master Ywin called her later that day and told her the plans for her trials were completed aside from one final part. They would leave the day after tomorrow.

Chapter Text

“Does this make sense?” Master Ywin asked.

“It’s deceptively simple,” she said, looking over the planetary map for Odessen. Her trial seemed far too easy: find whoever it was her Master told her to find and bring them back to the shuttle. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“The person you will be locating is Ambassador Mitth’ra’nikuru.”

Her stomach tightened. He was putting Thran’s life at risk. He had asked to make her trial unique, and she now realized what that meant. He was going to test how well she could control her emotions while her friend was in danger. He was putting her theory regarding attachments to the test as much as he was testing her skills.

“He agreed to it?” she asked, keeping her voice neutral.

“He has been informed,” Master Ywin said. “We will be departing in two hours. Pack, if you have not already.”

She hadn’t. She returned to her room wondering briefly how to pack. How long would this take? A day? Two days? When he had taken her on a tracking mission before, it had only lasted a few hours. How difficult would her Master make this?

Making up her mind, she rolled up and packed extra under robes because she wasn’t worried about her cloak, then she stashed a few ration bars and a water bottle in an exterior pocket. Her Chiss comm could stay behind since Thran would be with her. She looked into the closet where her old coat hung. Odessen wasn’t cold, was it? She felt the familiar fabric between her fingers before deciding to unhook it and shove it into the bag. If nothing else, it would make a good pillow. Speaking of, she made sure to pack a bedroll in case this mission took more than a day. Double checking that her lightsaber was secure on her belt, she left for the hanger.

After picking up Thran from his apartment’s hanger, they set course for Odessen, and Master Ywin laid out the plan for them both. He would drop Rachel off on one part of the planet and take Thran to another, Rachel would have to find Thran, and together, they would find their way to the shuttle.

It was different from the tracking mission he had taken her on with Matyus, and he had been easy to track since he also used the Force. Thran didn’t. She would have to search for him without that added sense.

They sat in the small living area in the middle of the ship which consisted of an L-shaped couch that was wedged into the corner with a table in front of it and a galley on the other side. There were two small sleeping rooms just aft on either side and an engine room beyond those.

Master Ywin went to check on the ship’s controls after he was sure they had a firm grasp on the plan, giving them a moment alone.

Thran studied her face, his glowing eyes holding a firm resolution. “You’ll pass this, Ra’chel.”

She hadn’t expected him to switch to Cheunh, and her forehead tensed as her brain made the adjustment. “You believe that?”

“You’ve already done incredible things. How hard can finding me in a jungle be?”

She had to smile. His confidence in her abilities far exceeded her own.

“Get some sleep.” Master Ywin came back from the cockpit. “You’ll need your rest.”

He went into one of the sleeping rooms, leaving only one free.

“You go,” Rachel said, switching back to Basic and gesturing with her head. “I won’t be able to sleep anyway.”

“Then I will stay up with you,” he said.

She looked at him. “You don’t have to.”

“I know.”

“You’re difficult sometimes, you know that.”

His eyes seemed to laugh. “Perhaps.”

She shook her head, but she couldn’t help the smile that came to her face, and despite her growing sleepiness, they spent the next several hours talking. There were a couple times when Thran appeared tired, but he tried to hide it and kept denying it. Though, she did the same.

“Ra’chel, you need to go sleep,” Thran finally said.

“I will only sleep if you do,” she countered.

“There’s only one bed in there.”

“There is a couch right here,” she said, gesturing to the couch they were sitting on.

“Not one that’s made for sleeping.”

“I’ve slept in worse places.”

A pained expression briefly crossed his face but lingered in his eyes.

“I’m trying to joke about it,” she assured him.

“I know,” he said hesitantly, turning his face away. “It is just…difficult to think about.”

And she hadn’t even told him everything.

She scooched closer to him and tilted her head forward until he finally met her gaze. “I’m ok, Thran,” she echoed the words he always said to her. “I’m safe.”

He wrapped an arm around her and held her tight. “I know.”

At first, she tensed against the quickness of the movement, but she slowly relaxed and leaned against his shoulder, her head resting naturally in the crook of his neck, shifting only a little when he laid his head against hers. Hearing the strong, rhythmic beating of his heart was soothing, and she didn’t even know she had closed her eyes until images flashed in front of her of Hutts, Thran lying in a pool of blood, and a Falleen wielding a whip that shot electrical charges at her.

She felt herself being shaken and held by her shoulders, and she brought her hands up to fight off whoever was trying to force her down.

“Ra’chel, wake up,” she heard Thran’s voice, and her eyes flung open. He held her one shoulder securely and was fending off her other hand.

“You are safe,” he said, the pleading evident in both his voice and eyes. “They cannot hurt you.”

Slowly, the rigidity left, and she sat up feeling an ache in her neck and back.

Thran never took his eyes off her, and they were quiet for a moment before he tentatively asked her what she had seen.

When she told him, he nodded. “That makes sense why you said my name then.”

“What?”

“That is what woke me. I heard you say my name. At first, I thought it was merely because I had fallen asleep, but then I noticed how tense you were, and you appeared to be in pain.”

Her eyes fell to the table in front of them.

“They have not helped you find a way to get rid of them, have they?”

She knew he was talking about the Jedi. “They gave me some things to try, but none of them have done anything.”

“Has anything helped?”

Something had—even it was only a little bit. “After I talked to you about what happened on Nar Shaddaa, and after telling you a little bit about some of the things that happened, the nightmares weren’t as bad.”

“Perhaps, then, that is your mind’s way of healing. I know it is painful, but if it helps, even a small amount, I think you should continue to do it.”

“I don’t trust anyone else,” she said firmly, looking back at him.

“Then tell me,” he said, searching her eyes. “I will listen.”

She knew he would, but she didn’t even know where to begin.

He seemed to see her hesitation. “Or, for now, we can—”

There was a beeping sound from the cockpit that rang through the ship. They were coming up on Odessen.

Rachel looked back towards the sleeping rooms. She figured her Master had heard it, but she walked to the cockpit to pull the ship from hyperspace, and Thran followed her.

“They allow you to fly?” he asked.

“I learned,” she answered, looking up at him questioningly. “Why— You still think I’m a bad driver!”

“I suppose Earth vehicles are a bit different from shuttles,” he jested.

“They’re extremely different,” she said, giving him a look before gesturing to the controls in front of her. “Do you know how complicated this is?”

He only raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“Cars have forward, backward, and park. You turn with the wheel and make it go and stop with two different pedals. This,” she gestured again to the panel. “I still don’t know what half of these do.”

The beeping came from the console next to her left elbow.

“I can, however, do this,” she said, bringing the shuttle out of hyperspace and kicking in the engines to make orbit.

“And that will do,” she heard her Master’s voice from behind them.

She quickly scrambled from the pilot’s seat and into the copilot’s.

“Welcome to Odessen,” he said wryly as he sat down.

Rachel took in the planet through the viewport. It was so green. She knew it was covered in jungle, but she still wasn’t prepared for just how green it was.

“Go get ready, Padawan,” Master Ywin said. “I’ll be setting you down first.”

Thran watched Rachel’s face as they neared the place where her Master was leaving her off. She was calm and focused, her eyes held determination, yet he wondered what she really thought.

With Master Ywin guiding the ship from the cockpit, it was easy to have a few minutes out of his earshot by the exit ramp before it lowered.

“I know you’ll succeed,” he said, switching to Cheunh.

Her forehead creased briefly as she made the mental switch.

“I know it is a simple job,” she said. “But it will still be…rigid?”

Thran smirked at the misused word, and she knew that it wasn’t the right word, so he corrected her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, switching back. “My mind is preoccupied, and I can’t make it form the right words. I understand it well enough, but when it comes to speaking it, I know I’m not as good as I should be.”

“I did tell you that it is a difficult language to speak,” he reminded her. “But you really are doing quite well with it.”

“I know,” she said, clearly not focused on the language problem anymore.

“But as I said,” Thran said. “I know that you will succeed in this trial.”

“I know it’s not a large planet, but how am I supposed to find you among everything else that’s here? He could drop you off on the complete opposite side, for all I’ll know.”

It was true, he knew. Ywin could drop him off wherever he wanted, and Rachel was supposed to find him and then find her way back to the shuttle. It seemed difficult, but he had seen her do extraordinary things using the Force. Tracking had to be something she learned along the way, hadn’t it? He thought she had mentioned something about it.

But then, there was something else she was naturally good at but chose not to use.

“Can you still see into the minds of others?” he asked her tentatively.

She looked at him, a wariness in her eyes.

“Yes,” she said. “Why?”

“How far away can you do that?” he asked, knowing it was a long shot.

She seemed to think about it.

“I don’t know. I’ve made a point to not do it intentionally, so I’ve never done it over a long distance before.”

“Do you think that looking into my mind from wherever you may be would help you to locate me?”

She stared at him.

“You know I don’t like doing it,” she said firmly.

“But would it help?”

She stared at him for a moment longer before her eyes turned back to the wall in front of them. “It might,” she relented. “I’m not sure. I don’t know how far I can reach you.”

“After your Master drops you off, see how long you can sense my mind. If this helps you to complete the trial, then I think you should use it, do you not agree?”

She did at least seem to be considering it when Ywin came back from the cockpit.

“Here’s your drop point, Padawan,” he said, walking over to the side wall where the hatchway opened. “You know your mission. You will locate the Ambassador, then you will both find your way back to where I will be waiting with the shuttle. Understood?”

“Yes, Master,” Rachel said, walking over to the exit ramp that was lowering.

“Ra’chel,” Thran said, and she turned to look at him. “May warriors fortune smile upon your efforts.”

“May the Force be with you,” Master Ywin said.

Rachel nodded and exited the shuttle.

Thran caught a glimpse of the jungle surrounding where they had landed before the ramp closed behind Rachel.

“And now,” Ywin said, turning to Thran. “We find a place to drop you.”

Thran wasn’t sure if it was meant to sound cold, but the iciness in the man’s stare couldn’t be mistaken. Wherever he took him, he knew it was not going to be hospitable.

Chapter Text

Rachel watched as the shuttle took off and flew away. She knew that her Master would not go in a straight line to where he would drop Thran off, so she didn’t bother to follow his trajectory, and Thran had given her permission to look inside his mind in order to locate him. She found it rather ironic, in a way. During her first trial, if it could be called that, she had done this exact same thing without realizing it. She had seen his view of the Jedi Temple when they’d taken him back to his ship. Now, she was going to do it voluntarily. If she had been able to sense him leaving the Temple all those years ago while untrained, how far would she be able to sense him now?

Closing her eyes and focusing on his familiar presence, everything around her faded as she looked into his mind. She saw the jungle quickly receding away and had the odd feeling of seeing herself from very far away. A sudden pang of worry ripped through her chest and settled into her stomach, but the whole time she had been preparing, she had never felt that.

It wasn’t her emotion, she realized. It was Thran’s. He was worried.

She tried to block out the emotions and focus only on his mind and what he was seeing.

They were making a wide circle around, and Rachel saw a large lake through the viewport. The lake was surrounded by tall, rocky cliffs, only a few places gave way to small, sandy banks that led into the jungles behind. On one such bank, there was a strange lizard looking creature, which Rachel had never seen before, but she felt a note of recognition from Thran. He knew it.

The shuttle looped around the extent of the lake before it settled onto one of the higher cliffs that the jungle crept up to. She tried to study the layout of the cliffs as Thran walked down the exit ramp, but his attention was focused on the shuttle and Master Ywin. He was giving him some instructions or warnings that she couldn’t hear, but she felt her stomach tighten as Thran’s gaze wandered to the trees beyond the shuttle as it lifted up again.

As soon as it was gone, Rachel tried again to get an idea for where he was—any clue about the landscape or geography—but a fear began to creep into her mind. Thran’s fear. As much as she hated prying into his feelings, she couldn’t help their washing over her, but he wasn’t so much scared for himself—though he was wary about the creatures that were no doubt lingering in the jungle foliage nearby—his thoughts lingered on her, and it was a strange sensation. She was reading into his mind, but he was focused on her.

She, again, tried to block out his emotions. Despite his stoicism, his emotions were strong below the façade he put up.

He walked over to the cliffside and looked down. Below him were a few outcroppings that wedged into the cliff before they dove into churning waters far below. She had the sense that he had no intention of going down to any of them. He had turned and was now looking at the jungle with a mix of wariness and uncertainty.

She opened her eyes.

Having no idea where to start other than a general direction, she hefted her bag on her shoulders, turned to her right, and began to walk. The sun was directly overhead which gave her half a day’s worth of daylight to search for the lake where she knew Thran would be.

The sun was nearly to the horizon when the Force told Rachel that she wasn’t alone. Focusing her mind, she reached out to sense if they were hostile or friendly, but they hadn’t noticed her yet. Prodding a little further, she had a vague sense of familiarity.

They were Chiss.

But, how? Why were they here? Her mind reeled with all kinds of questions.

They were all near the top of the next hill. Behind it, she could make out the tops of two large cliffs with a gap between them, and she wondered if she had found the lake.

There was a surge of awareness and defensiveness followed by someone shouting in Cheunh.

“Hello?” she called, keeping a hand on her lightsaber in case they had weapons.

“Who is there?” a female voice shouted in heavily accented Basic. “State your business.”

“My name is Rachel Bakandi,” she answered. “I’m a Jedi Padawan undergoing my trials. May I approach?”

There was a short silence, and she thought she could hear whispers.

“Very well,” she answered.

Rachel climbed the hill and found a small encampment with two larger tents and one smaller one. A fire smoldered in a dug-out pit on the edge of the camp, and next to the fire laid the remains of a colorful lizard-like creature like she had seen from Thran’s mind. Standing in front of the camp and ready to receive her with hands on charrics or knives were four Chiss, two male and two female.

“You are a Jedi?” the female who had spoken asked. “Ray-shell Ba—?”

“You can just call me Rachel.”

She raised an eyebrow but didn’t argue. Her hair was long and more blue than black, and around her eyes was what appeared to be a deep red makeup that extended over her temples into her hairline giving her a fierce look which her military uniform only added to.

“As I said,” Rachel continued, “I’m here to complete my trials so that I can become a Jedi Knight. I was given a mission to complete. I did not mean to intrude on your camp.”

“What sort of mission brings you to this planet?” one of the males asked. His black hair was cut in a short military style haircut, and he was dressed in the same military style uniform.

“My trials. My Master believed this planet to be remote enough that we wouldn’t be interfering with any locals.”

“What is your mission?” the first female asked firmly.

“I need to find my friend and then we find our way back to the shuttle where my Master is waiting.”

“That seems straightforward,” the other female said. Contrary to the others, she seemed to have taken off the jacket part of the uniform and only wore a black T-shirt, and her hair was cut short in what, on Earth, would have been called a pixie cut. She wasn’t sure they used that term in this galaxy. “But it will be night soon. I am not sure it is safe—”

“Quiet,” the first female barked at her in Cheunh.

“You really think she should just go out into the forest alone with those creatures out there?” the other retorted also in Cheunh.

Rachel let them argue. They wouldn’t know that she understood them. They were probably banking on it because they had switched to it. She wondered about telling them that her friend was also a Chiss.

After a few more heated words, the first female turned back to Rachel.

“Fine,” she said in Basic. “It seems I am overruled. You may stay with us for the evening.”

“Thank you,” Rachel said inclining her head as the other stalked away.

“Do not mind her,” one of the males said. Unlike the other, his hair was a little longer and wavy, similar to Thran’s. He was also the shorter of the two, but his shoulders were broader. “She does not like it when she cannot control things. We have had a bad string of luck lately, and it has put her on edge. It is not your fault.”

“I understand,” Rachel said. “I know that your people don’t like dealing with outsiders in general. If it is a problem, I won’t intrude.”

His eyes narrowed marginally. “You have had dealings with our people before?”

“The friend I mentioned,” Rachel decided that she might as well share. “The one I have to find. He’s Chiss.”

“Is he?” he asked. “What is his name?”

“Mitth’ra’nikuru,” Rachel said.

To her surprise, the other smiled.

“You are friends with Thran?” the other female asked.

“You know him?” Rachel asked.

“Bicendi is not going to be happy about this,” the other male said with a small smirk.

“Perhaps,” Rachel said, “we should all start at the beginnings of our stories.”

“I think you are right,” the shorter male said. “Beginning with introductions. I am Mitth’ok’ovmos.”

“You’re also Mitth?” Rachel asked without thinking.

Thankfully, he merely smiled. “I am not blood, as Thran is, but yes. I am a Cousin. You may call me Thokov.”

“I am Kiwu’ji’nifis,” the female said. “You may call me Wujinif. I understand that our names are difficult for humans to say.”

“My name is Coduyo’ko’ovodo,” the other male said, inclining his head with a small smirk. “Yokoov.”

“And our friend who greeted you so warmly is Obbic’en’diamir,” Thokov said. “I am not sure if she will be all right with you calling her Bicendi though.”

“Thank you,” Rachel said.

“So, how do you know Thran?” Wujinif asked.

“It’s a long story,” she answered, not entirely sure where to begin with it or what she could include.

Thokov gestured to the fire. “Shall we sit and listen?”

Rachel looked over to the cliffs she had noticed earlier. Through the narrow gap between them, she could just make out the waves crashing against the shore. Thran was somewhere near this lake on top of cliffs just like those, and she had a sudden prompting that she shouldn’t lag. Something told her that she needed to keep going and find him.

Thokov noticed. “Ra’chel?”

“I ought to keep going,” she told him.

“There are creatures that stalk at night,” Yokoov said. “It would not be safe to travel alone.”

“Meanwhile Thran is out there completely alone,” she said more harshly than she had intended. If there were dangerous creatures out there, Thran would be helpless against them. He hadn’t brought a weapon, and Master Ywin would not have given him one.

“Thran has always been resourceful,” Thokov said. “He will be all right.”

But Rachel couldn’t make herself believe it, and she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling.

“Come,” Thokov said gently.

He and Yokoov sat down by the fire and Wujinif sat by the giant lizard carcass and was cutting parts of it up and putting them in a large bowl.

Begrudgingly, Rachel slid the bag from her shoulders, sat down, and began to tell them how she knew Thran.

“Do you know about the Exploration Force?” she asked.

Wujinif laughed. “We are a part of it,” she said.

“Oh. So do you know about the expeditions to the Second Galaxy?”

“How do you know about them?” Yokoov asked.

“That’s how Thran and I met,” she told them. “I’m from Earth.”

They listened intently, asking a few questions here and there as she told them about how she and Thran had escaped Earth, and he had asked her to come back here with him after seeing her aptitude for the Force. She recounted their struggles to remain friends despite the Syndicure’s banishment.

“I heard about the Rattatak incident,” Yokoov said. “I never knew the full details. I certainly never knew a human was involved.”

“Thran clearly trusts you,” Thokov said.

“He fought the Syndicure to rescind my banishment,” Rachel told them. “And he won.”

“He was always good at winning arguments,” Thokov smirked. “It does not surprise me that he has sought the Ambassadorship after leaving the Exploration Force.”

“He told me that he was forced to leave,” Rachel said, feeling her forehead crease. “He told me that because of his actions, they forced him to leave.”

“Oh,” Thokov seemed genuinely shocked.

“That would make more sense,” Yokoov interjected. “There was nothing he loved more than exploring the unknown.”

“That is why he jumped at the chance to go to the Second Galaxy,” Thokov said, turning to Rachel. “He wanted to know what was out there despite the risks involved.”

“He told me that most of the explorers that go to the Second Galaxy never return,” she said.

“He is one of the fortunate,” Yokoov said. “He owes you his life.”

“I owe him mine,” Rachel retorted. “He saved me when I was being tortured.”

“What did your people hope to gain anyway?” Wujinif asked.

“I wish I knew,” Rachel said. The whole thing still didn’t make sense to her. What could she have learned in the short amount of time that those men hoped to learn? Or was she simply leverage like she was on Rattatak.

“Rattatak, I can understand,” Wujinif continued. “There is probably loads of information that you have learned that the Rattataki could have tortured from you.”

“I would never betray the Ascendency,” Rachel began, feeling her defenses rise, but Thokov raised a quieting hand.

“We can see that,” he soothed. “And you clearly proved it. For this, you have my respect.”

“Mine as well,” Yokoov echoed.

“If only Bicendi could hear,” Wujinif said. “Maybe you could change her mind about humans.”

“You said something about a string of bad luck,” Rachel brought up. “What did you mean?”

“We are still part of the Exploration Force,” Yokoov explained. “We have been going around the Outer Rim and…observing the beings of the Republic.”

“I take it, you’ve had bad encounters?” she asked.

“More than a few,” Wujinif chuckled a little. “Bicendi is ready to give it up and go back to the Ascendency. We were going to spend a few days here to think about it and decide.”

“Have you?”

They looked between each other.

“Oh,” Rachel said, realizing. “You probably can’t discuss it with me, can you?”

“It is not that,” Thokov said, shaking his head. “We are still split. I would like to keep exploring—”

“As would I,” Wujinif added quickly.

“I am still trying to decide,” Yokoov said.

“He has someone waiting back home,” Wujinif teased him, throwing one of the feet from the creature at him.

“Gah!” he shouted as he tried to scramble away from the bloody foot.

Rachel tried not to laugh, but she couldn’t help it. Here she thought that Chiss were always stoic and always kept their emotions and manners in check, but here, these three were goofing off the same way Matyus, Izo, Ixenri, and she did.

Yokoov tried to regain his composure, but the other two were laughing too much for it to be effective.

When they finally calmed down again, Yokoov continued. “I would like to return home, but I know that I would miss this camaraderie, if it can be called that.”

“Oh, come on,” Wujinif said, “you would miss the younger siblings you never had.”

“I would,” he smiled. “But I would also like to settle down at some point as well. She will not wait forever.”

“It is your decision,” Thokov said. “Whatever you decide, you have our support.”

It felt strange to be accepted into their small group so easily, especially considering how Chiss viewed outsiders. Perhaps it was a trait that the explorers had. Their minds were more open to what lay beyond Chiss Space, and that seemed to include allies and acquaintances.

Wujinif stood up with her bowl filled with meat and brought it over to the fire which was barely smoldering.

“Which of you let my fire die?” she scolded them.

“I can get it going again,” Rachel offered. “It won’t take long.”

She had started fires from less, she knew, and they seemed interested in seeing her try. She walked over to the edge of the campsite’s clearing and gathered some of the dead leaves that had fallen from the trees. There were several smaller sticks and branches that she also found. The biggest challenge was that most of the kindling she had found was wet. The jungle was not the best producer of firewood, but she returned to the smoldering embers, feeling their heat, and began to place the leaves around them. In no time, the leaves dried and began to catch fire, so she placed the small sticks over the small flames as she continued to place leaves near the embers.

Soon, a small fire kindled, and she placed a drier piece of wood near the flames, and they hungrily lapped at the new fuel. She watched as the fire spread over the log, and placed another next to it as the fire grew.

As she sat and admired the fire, she could almost hear her grandmother’s voice. “Igniḳ-ik-suḳ. Is a good fire, child.”

 “That is pretty impressive,” she heard a voice from behind her, and she turned to see that Thokov and Yokoov had been watching her the whole time, and she felt mildly embarrassed.

“Did the Jedi teach you this skill?” Yokoov asked.

“My Aanarua—my grandmother—she taught me when I was young,” she said softly. “Fire is the essence of what keeps us alive. Without fire, we have no warmth, no light, and no means to cook, uh…” Was there a Basic word for Caribou? “Meat,” she settled on.

“She sounds wise,” Thokov said with a smile.

“She was,” Rachel said, feeling a twinge of sadness pierce her heart as she turned back to the fire. There is no emotion, there is peace. She told herself. There is no death, there is the Force.

But Earth didn’t have the Force.

She shook her head. It was in the past, and Master Ywin had taught her to not dwell on the past.

Wujinif brought a pot back from the lake filled with water, and she watched her dump the meat into it.

“What are you making?” she asked her.

“A stew,” Wujinif said with a smile. “You will like it, trust me.”

“You will tolerate it,” Yokoov said.

“Hey!” Wujinif shouted.

“What is Wujinif upset about now?” Bicendi had returned, and Rachel felt the whole group’s demeanor turn from lighthearted to guarded.

“Yokoov made fun of my cooking,” Wujinif tried to sound hurt.

“What are you making?” Bicendi asked.

“Stew.”

As they began to talk amongst themselves, Rachel took in the sunset that peeked through the cliffs. While she couldn’t see the sun itself, the colors that danced on the water as they reflected the sky were beautiful.

She closed her eyes and reached out. Somewhere along the lake, Thran was likely watching it too, and as soon as she could see the sunset from his eyes, she felt an involuntary gasp escape her.

While the sun hid behind a few strands of clouds, it allowed many more colors to play through the sky in deep oranges and reds. As she watched, she sensed a longing, and she turned her focus back toward Thran. While he was enjoying the sunset, he wished that Rachel was there with him.

She opened her eyes. Seeing into his mind to locate him was one thing, but looking into his heart and sensing his emotions was another.

It was then that she realized that it was quiet behind her, and she turned around to see that all the Chiss were looking at her. Bicendi had a hand on the charric at her belt.

“What?” she asked them.

“We might ask you the same question,” Bicendi said.

“We thought you saw something dangerous,” Thokov said.

Her forehead creased in confusion before she remembered that she had gasped out loud. They must have heard her, but how could she explain that she had looked into Thran’s mind?

She would just have to. It was how she was going to find him after all.

“I have the ability to look inside people’s minds,” she started to explain. “I don’t do it often, and I don’t like to do it. But I was looking into Thran’s.”

“Is he ok?” Thokov asked.

“He is,” she assured him. “He’s watching the sunset.”

They were quiet for a while before Wujinif began to hand out bowls of the stew.

It was…edible, but at least it was food, and it beat eating the ration bars she had brought.

When she finished, she got up and walked to the lake to get an idea for where she should be going in the morning.

Wujinif had followed her to wash out the pot she had cooked in.

“I do not think Bicendi would like it,” she started, “but you may be able to use our boat.”

She pointed over to where a strange looking boat was tied to a rock on the shore. It had more controls than any boat she’d ever seen but so did just about everything in this galaxy.

“That’s ok,” Rachel said. “This is my trial. You don’t have to get involved.”

“Ok. You should come back to camp though. Those creatures we mentioned, they are not something to mess around with and it is not wise to be by yourself.”

Rachel looked back out over the lake. The sun had set below the horizon, and she knew that Thran was out there on the edge of a cliff waiting for her to find him.

“Thran will be ok,” Wujinif seemed to read her face. “I went through training with him and Thokov. He is strong and capable. I know he will survive.”

Rachel nodded, but she couldn’t shake the jabbing feeling the Force was giving her to press on.

When she and Wujinif returned to the camp, she was offered to bunk in their tent.

“What are the other tents for?” she asked, wondering why they all slept in one tent.

“It is better to not be separated,” Bicendi said, lying down on her cot. “Would you like to stay awake to see what comes during the night?”

“I doubt I’ll be able to sleep anyway,” she muttered, but she unstrapped the bedroll from her backpack and laid it out.

She tried to meditate to keep herself awake and still be aware of the surrounding area, yet she couldn’t shake the tiredness from her mind. Eventually, sleep won out, and she lied down and fell asleep.

But instead of dreaming, she saw a vision. She saw Thran sleeping on the same cliff she had seen earlier, but behind him creeped a large predator that stalked on six legs, each equipped with four long, sharp talons. Its eyes were as black as the night surrounding it, and its sleek fur was dark. As it crouched, Rachel tried to shout to Thran to wake up, but he didn’t move. She shouted again, and his eyes flicked open just as the beast pounced on him. She watched for a moment while Thran tried to fight the beast off, but it had him in its jaw, and the vision failed as they fell over the side of the cliff.

“Thran!” Rachel shouted as she woke from the dream, feeling the sweat covering her face.

The others had woken and were sitting up or standing looking at her.

“We need to leave,” Rachel said, standing up. “Now.”

“What is wrong?” Thokov asked, standing up.

“I had a vision,” Rachel started to explain. “Thran’s in trouble, and we need to go now.”

“Are you sure?” Yokoov asked.

“She is a Jedi,” Wujinif said. “You are seriously going to question her? Let us go.”

They quickly packed into the boat, keeping an eye on the jungle, and were off in less than five minutes.

Rachel closed her eyes and reached out with the Force, trying to sense Thran’s presence.

They were travelling for only a few minutes when Rachel finally sensed him. His fear and his pain. He was weak. She saw the wounds the creature had created, and how the fall had affected him. The beast, she sensed, was prowling on the outcropping below where Thran was lying. It was looking for a way back to its prey. Its powerful legs launched it up the rocks, and it wasted no time in pouncing towards Thran.

In a burst of pain and helplessness, Rachel pushed out. “No!”

The creature was sent hurtling into the water below the cliff. She watched it for a moment, not quite understanding what had happened. She opened her eyes and saw that all around the boat were large waves, and everyone in the boat was staring at her.

“What in the stars was that?” Wujinif asked, her voice was filled with awe, but her face showed a mix of fear.

“There was a creature attacking Thran,” Rachel tried to explain. “I stopped it. I think.”

“You think?” Thokov asked. “I would say you stopped anything even close to him if what you just did was any indication.”

“How close are we?” Bicendi asked.

Rachel tried to picture the cliff in her mind, but she couldn’t bring it into focus. Was it because the only way she had been able to see it was through Thran’s mind? She reached out to try and sense him again, but his presence in the Force was weak.

He was dying.

“I don’t know,” Rachel said, feeling tears forming behind her eyes. “But we need to hurry.”

The minutes passed agonizingly slowly. Rachel tried to keep her focus on Thran’s life force, willing him to hold on. She found herself wishing she hadn’t let the Chiss talk her into stopping for the night. If she’d kept going, maybe she could have been there to stop the creature’s attack. She could have sensed it coming up behind him and put an end to its hunt.

The guilt crushed her chest until breathing became difficult.

She needed to clear her mind and try to focus. If she could center her mind on one thing…

She could hear his heartbeat. It was weak, but she could hear it. She focused her whole mind on it, she didn’t want to think about anything other than the fact that his heart was still beating.

“Look!” Thokov shouted into her thoughts. “Ra’chel, is that the creature you saw?”

Rachel opened her eyes and looked to where he was pointing.

There, on the shore, disappearing into the trees, was the creature Rachel had seen attack Thran.

“Yes,” she said. She looked up, and there in front of them was the cliff she had seen from Thran’s mind. “There,” she said. “That’s where he is.”

The boat instantly jerked towards the cliff, and within seconds, Rachel could see the shadow of Thran’s body lying halfway up. A sharp ache gripped her heart at the sight.

The Force surged through her as she jumped from the boat to a ledge just under where Thran lay, and she jumped again to land beside him.

His wounds were more extensive than she had realized. His body lay twisted, and blood pooled under him even as it still trickled out of several open gashes in his chest, arms, and legs.

Not thinking, and acting only on instinct, she called on the Force, resting one hand on his head and the other on his chest. Taking a deep breath, she reached far into herself and felt her own life force. Letting the Force guide her, she channeled her energy into him, watching fractured bones join themselves back together, feeling muscle tissues repair themselves and blood cells work to regenerate, and she heard his weak heartbeat begin to strengthen.

She helped his body heal, making sure that nothing was left unmended, and then a warm hand touched hers, but she never saw who’s it was before the world around her went quiet and dark.

Chapter Text

Thran opened his eyes to see Rachel kneeling over him, her eyes closed in concentrated meditation. Her hands rested on his forehead and over his heart, and he reached to touch the one on his chest, but it was colder than he thought it should be. Just as she started to open her eyes, she suddenly fell limp next to him.

“Ra’chel?” His heart sank as his stomach twisted into a knot. “Ra’chel!”

He struggled to reach her side, slipping on the rocks beneath him. He glanced down and wondered why they were so dark.

Was that…blood?

He quickly looked over Rachel’s body for any sign of injuries or cuts but saw nothing before realizing that the blood was under where he had been lying, and he checked over his own body, but, while his clothing had been torn and there was blood on the clothing, there were no open wounds.

He paused for a moment, looking at the blood, then back to Rachel.

The creature…he had been attacked by a creature. He looked up at the cliff. He’d fallen from up there? And whatever it was that had attacked him…the last thing he remembered seeing was very sharp teeth baring down on him.

If this was his blood, why wasn’t he bleeding now?

He looked down again at Rachel’s now pale face and touched her cheek. It was icy cold.

“No,” he breathed as understanding started to kick in.

He remembered her meditating with a Jedi holocron that talked about Jedi healing techniques. Taking one’s own life energy and giving it to another, he thought it had said. All well and good for a bruise here or a cut there, but the amount of blood that covered the ground said he’d sustained far worse than that.

“No!” His chest tightened as he pressed his fingers to her neck to check for a pulse. Her neck was warmer than her cheek, but not much. After a few seconds, and briefly fearing the worst, he felt her faint pulse and closed his eyes as relief washed over him, and he leaned down, touching his forehead to hers.

“Why did you do that?” he whispered.

“Thran!”

He turned around quickly, startled at the voice calling his name.

Up on top of the cliff stood Bicendi, Thokov, Wujinif, and another he wasn’t sure he recognized. Bicendi and the fourth had charrics drawn while Wujinif had a knife in her hand that looked like it had blood on it.

“You’re all right!” Bicendi called. “Ra’chel had us fearing the worst.”

Thran looked down again at Rachel. She’d known he’d been attacked?

“Help me,” he called up to them, as he carefully lifted her body from the ground.

“What happened?” Thokov asked.

“She used a Jedi healing technique,” he explained. “But it’s drained her. She’s very weak.”

He carried her over to the edge of the cliff, looking for a way to climb up, but couldn’t find one.

“Is there a safe way down?” Wujinif asked. “We can meet you at the bottom with our boat.”

He gently set her down and checked the cliff’s edge. Was it safer or easier, probably not, but it was less steep, and he could probably get away with sliding most of the way down. The trouble was, he couldn’t see the bottom wherever the land met the water, and he’d be carrying Rachel, so he’d have her weight contributing to any momentum the slide gained.

It was worth a shot.

“This way is slightly better,” he called up to the others. “How long until you can be down there?”

“A few minutes,” Bicendi said.

“We’ll go as fast as we can,” Thokov said.

“Should be easier with that creature gone,” he caught the fourth saying as they turned and left.

Thran knelt next to Rachel, touching his hand to her cheek. It was so cold and pale. A stark contrast to her usual warmth and complexion.

He picked up one of her hands and held it tightly. It felt like ice in his hand.

For a long moment, he shut his eyes, trying to hold back the pain building up in his chest. She is still alive, he told himself firmly. She is still alive.

After giving the others a few more minutes, he carefully lifted Rachel up again and made his way over to the edge of the rock. As he passed the spot where he’d lain, he saw that the blood was beginning to dry, and he couldn’t process that he had lost so much.

As he approached the edge, he awkwardly sat down to slide to the next ledge jutting out. He gripped Rachel’s body tightly to himself, leaned back, and allowed himself to slide.

He slid faster than he thought he was going to, and he had to let go of her with one hand to reach behind them to slow their momentum. He dug in his heels as hard as he could, and barely managed to stop before his feet were dangling over the next edge.

He closed his eyes and let out a long breath. One down, one to go.

The sound of an engine coming around the cliff made him look up, and he watched as it pulled alongside the bottom of the cliff, and that’s when he realized that there was no next outcrop or bank to slide to. Its base plunged into the water below, and his options were not good.

“How deep is the water there?” he asked.

Bicendi looked down at the water. “Not sure. Deep enough that the sensors aren’t going off.”

That wasn’t reassuring. For all he knew, there were more rocks just under the sensors reach, and if he landed right, he could wind up cracking his or Rachel’s skull on one.

But what choice did he have? He couldn’t very well climb back up the cliff. He’d have to risk it.

“Back up,” he told them.

They exchanged glances, but Bicendi steered the boat away. He braced Rachel’s body against his and covered her nose and mouth with his hand and jumped. The cold water knocked the air from his lungs, but he was determined not to lose his grip on her, and he kicked hard against the water toward the surface, holding her body tightly.

They broke the surface, and the boat came close.

Coughing and trying to breathe, he told them to take her, and then they hauled him into the boat.

“Thank you,” Thran said to Bicendi before leaning over to where the others had laid Rachel. “Do you have blankets?” he asked them.

“At our camp, we do,” Bicendi said, kicking the boat into high gear. The wind didn’t help him warm up, so he knew it would be worse for Rachel.

“She needs one now,” he shouted over the wind. “She is deathly cold, and between the water and this wind…” he couldn’t finish the sentence. He couldn’t bear the thought of finishing it.

“This is all we have,” Thokov offered a tarp that was clearly meant for keeping rain off the boat when it was in storage.

“It’ll work,” Thran said. He took it, gripping it tightly against the wind, and Thokov helped him wrap it around Rachel’s now shaking body as the boat raced.

He sat on the floor of the boat next to her the whole ride back to the camp, shivering against the wind, but grateful that the tarp was helping her because she had at least stopped shaking. Many times, he reached down and checked her pulse, needing to be sure that she was still alive because if she died…

No. He couldn’t even think about it. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on keeping his body from shivering.

When they reached the camp, he carried Rachel to a tent that Bicendi had said he could use, and he looked around for the bag she had brought.

“It’s probably still in the other tent,” Wujinif said. “Why?”

“She said she packed an extra set of robes,” he said. “She didn’t think she would need them, but now—”

“I’ll get it,” she reassured him. “And you should change too.”

He went to the other tent with Thokov and was able to change out of his wet, tattered clothes into dry ones that Thokov offered him. He was hanging the wet ones near the heater when Bicendi came in.

“How is she?” he asked.

She looked him over. “How about we start with ‘how are you’?”

His eyebrows furrowed and face briefly hardened.

“The last time we spoke, you said your final farewell and headed off on your expedition to the Second Galaxy. Next, I heard about you, you’d left the Exploration Force and had become Ambassador to the Republic. Your name was tied to a horrible incident on Rattatak. And now, this human shows up, claiming to know you, claims you’re in mortal danger, yet here you are just fine, while she’s passed out.”

Thran clenched his jaw to keep his emotions in check. “Her name is Ra’chel,” he started quietly. “She’s from the Second Galaxy and is training to become a Jedi. If she sensed that I was in danger, then that is due to her strength in the Force.”

Bicendi placed her hands on her hips. “I thought the ability to sense thoughts was strictly between the Jedi. How come she can sense your thoughts?”

“I don’t think it’s limited to the Jedi,” he said, but he wasn’t sure about it himself. He’d never had the chance to ask Rachel about it in depth. He knew that she had the ability to read into the emotions of others, and he had told her to look into his mind, but he wasn’t sure if the two abilities were the same.

“She said that she knew where you were because she saw the place through your mind,” Bicendi said. “Doesn’t that creep you out?”

“Yes, and no,” he answered. “While I do still find it a bit unnerving, I gave her permission to do so. What I would like is to know more about what happened when you were coming to find me. I had been attacked, but I don’t know what became of the creature. You said Ra’chel knew I had been attacked. How?”

Bicendi’s eyes narrowed, clearly unwilling to give him the answers.

“Very well,” he said. “I’ll ask Ra’chel when she wakes up.”

He started to walk towards the entrance to the tent.

“Is that it?”

“Was there more?” Thran asked, turning to face her again.

Her body language gave every indication that she wanted to say more, but she simply said, “I guess not.”

He shrugged it off and left the tent to go to Rachel. He and Bicendi had known each other for most of their lives. While they had been in a relationship for over a year before he’d left for Earth, he knew she wasn’t who he would marry, but she clearly still had strong feelings about it, and he knew that if she wanted to speak her mind, she would.

Right now, Bicendi’s thoughts and feelings were not his chief concern. Rachel was. And Rachel was lying in the tent across the camp nearly dead because she had put her life into him.

He crossed the camp, staring at the ground, not even caring to notice the campsite or hear the sounds of the night around him. He couldn’t stop thinking about the amount of blood he had lost, and yet there wasn’t a scratch on him. He wasn’t able to wrap his mind around it. Had she even hesitated to help him?

Probably not. He looked up and pushed the door open into the tent. She had the most giving heart of anyone he had ever met. She never hesitated to help anyone. So if he had been in trouble…

But as Thran knelt next to the cot where she lay, his heart broke. He reached out and picked up one of her hands, holding it tightly in his, and looked at her face.

He had seen her sleep on flights to and from places, but she never seemed to truly rest or be at peace. Nightmares would wake her, or she would toss and turn constantly. He knew about the nightmares, and they talked about them, and he tried, when he was with her, to wake her from them and tell her that she was safe and that those nightmares couldn’t hurt her. He didn’t know if it helped or not, but it was all he could think of to help her.

But right now, her face was calm. Not even the slightest hint of pain or distress. The last time it held that much peace, she had been sitting in the clearing in his homestead.

He wasn’t sure how long he stared at her, taking in each curve and line on her face and pushing back a strand of wet hair from her cheek, but he soon found himself starting to doze off. He didn’t want to leave her side, though. He glanced around for another cot but didn’t see one. There were a pair of chairs, but, at the moment, he didn’t want to get up and grab one. So he laid his head on his arm and fell asleep kneeling next to her, still holding tightly to her hand.

Chapter Text

He startled awake at the sight of sharp teeth flashing in front of his eyes. He shifted his weight only to find he had no feeling in his legs. He sat down to stretch them, feeling the tingling sensation as circulation came back.

He looked up at Rachel who was still sleeping. She hadn’t moved at all. Either he hadn’t slept long at all, or she was so weak that she wasn’t moving.

Once he felt that he trusted his legs to hold him, he stood and walked over to the portable heater and brought it and a chair closer to her cot.

The door to the tent opened, and Bicendi walked in carrying a bowl.

“Is she awake yet?” she asked.

“No,” Thran responded, sitting down.

“I thought you might want some breakfast,” Bicendi said, holding out the bowl.

Thran took it and Bicendi got the other chair and sat down.

“Thank you,” Thran said, looking at the stew, if it could be called that. “What is it?”

“Some creature Thokov killed and Wujinif thought she could cook,” Bicendi answered.

Thran tested it, and while it wasn’t too horrible, it was food.

“So what’s her story?” Bicendi asked.

“What do you mean?” Thran asked.

“You said that she’s from the Second Galaxy. So, how did she get here. And how do you know her?”

He knew what Bicendi was looking for, but he wasn’t going to give her that kind of satisfaction.

“While I was on the expedition to the Second Galaxy, I experienced some difficulty.”

“What kind of difficulty?” she asked.

“The kind that nearly got me killed.”

He told her how his ship was shot down after its stealth shield malfunctioned, and how Rachel found him, and while, at first, they’d nearly killed each other, he broke protocol, and it was her compassion that led him to trust her. He told her about how the Earthlings had tortured both of them, and how she had remained silent despite what her own people were willing to do to her, and Bicendi looked over at her with an almost respectful glance, but when he told her about the other explorers’ gear Rachel had found, her earlier anger returned. He continued to explain how they’d escaped and Rachel’s aptitude for the Force—how she’d chosen to leave her entire life behind.

 Bicendi looked over at Rachel with a neutral expression in her eyes. “Interesting. She seems to be entirely different from everything we know about her species.”

He also turned to look at Rachel again. “The Jedi almost refused her, and her training has been difficult, but I never stopped encouraging her. I always believed that she could be a great Jedi. And she has proven that.”

He could feel Bicendi’s eyes boring into him, so he turned to face her. “You have grown fond of her?” she asked accusingly.

“I consider her a very good friend,” Thran said firmly. “The Jedi already chided her for forming attachments, but she fought back. The Syndicure, too, tried to force our friendship to cease, but I made them see logic. She cares as deeply about our friendship as I do, but I know that it should not get in the way of her Jedi responsibilities.”

“Even should deeper feelings form?”

Thran stared at her. “What are you implying?”

“I believe her feelings toward you may run deeper than mere friendship.”

“What proof have you?”

“Her actions and words.”

“And what were these?”

“Her urgency to find you. Her knowledge of your mind and emotions. Her foreknowledge of your being attacked. Her lack of hesitation to heal you to her own detriment.”

“Her urgency to find me is because she is trying to complete her Trials. If she fails…I admit I don’t know what happens if a Jedi fails, but she may have to leave the Jedi Order. And I gave her permission to look inside my mind to find me and thus complete her mission faster. If she knew that I was attacked, it must have been through that connection or due to a vision from the Force. As to her lack of hesitation…” he looked back at Rachel. “To that I cannot speak. But she’s always been unconditionally selfless. Even if it was to her own detriment.”

He turned back to Bicendi’s eyes drilling into him.

“You don’t believe me?” he asked.

“Perhaps you are telling the truth,” she said shortly. “But I don’t believe your father or anyone in the Syndicure will like your getting involved this closely with a human.”

He already knew how the Syndicure saw the situation. Even though they had rescinded her banishment, many still believed it to be dangerous. Precarious, they called it. They did not appreciate her coming into contact so closely with them. They advised that he break the connection, but he couldn’t do that.

He had learned during their flight from Csilla to Coruscant that they were going to remain friends, and he had promised her that she would always have his friendship, and no one—not the Syndicure, not the Jedi Order, not anyone—would ever convince him otherwise.

“I know the Syndicure’s view on this,” he said.

“And your father?”

He shrugged and dared a smirk. “He likes her.”

That was clearly not the response she was looking for based on the look she gave him, probably because she knew his father had never been fond of her.

He looked down into his stew, which was likely growing cold at this point.

“I will let you eat,” Bicendi said getting up and starting for the door. She paused as she opened it, looking like she wanted to say more, but instead she closed her mouth again and walked out.

Thran finished his stew quickly because it didn’t taste any better cold, so he figured that the faster he ate it, the less he would taste it. He placed the bowl on a table nearby and moved his chair closer to Rachel.

She was just barely starting to get some color back. He reached out and took her hand again. While it no longer felt like ice, it was still colder than it should be. He held it between both of his hands, hoping the warmth of his own hands would help.

As he stared at her face, he still couldn’t comprehend her selflessness in pouring her own life into him. He thought back to the amount of blood he had seen. He had lost a lot. He had to have been near death, and yet there wasn’t a mark on him.

The door behind him opened again.

He closed his eyes and sighed. He didn’t want more questions or accusations from Bicendi right now. But when he turned, he saw Thokov.

“It’s good to see you again, Thran,” he greeted.

“And you.”

Thokov pulled up the chair Bicendi had vacated. “May I?”

“Of course,” he said, even though he had preferred to be alone.

They sat for a moment in silence before Thokov broke it. “I still can’t believe what I saw her do.”

Thran looked at him. “Bicendi wouldn’t tell me.”

He smirked. “Of course she didn’t. She’s still upset with you for leaving.”

Thran frowned. “I was given a mission to complete. Missions to the Second Galaxy are never guaranteed a return journey.”

“I know that. But convince her of that. And then try and explain why you didn’t return to the program.”

“I was removed from the program. Surely that kind of news circulated through the ranks.”

“There were rumors. All we knew for sure was that you left, and that didn’t sit well with her.”

“It was bound to end one way or another between us, and, at any rate, I’m far more interested to hear where you’ve all been since then.”

“We’ve been to many places. However, none of us have the same skill for diplomacy as you do. All of our recent explorations have ended in disaster.”

“How do you mean?”

“Some of the Outer Rim and Wild Space systems are becoming overly suspicious of the Chiss. Possibly feeling threatened. There were a few times we needed to set down on a planet, but we were always met with hostility.”

“The Exploration Force never guaranteed an easy way of life.”

“I like the challenge,” Thokov reassured him. “But the others are beginning to lose their motivation. Especially Bicendi, and I worry that she’ll cast our mission in a bad light to the Syndicure when we return to Csilla.”

Thran thought for a moment. It was within her character to act out that way, but would she really do that?

“But that is a conversation for a later time,” Thokov continued. “You asked about what happened.”

“Yes,” Thran said quietly. “How did she know I was attacked?”

“We were sleeping, and we were woken up when she yelled out your name. She said she saw you being attacked in a vision. So we got in the boat and sped off as quickly as we could to find you. She had her eyes closed for most of the trip.”

“That’s how she meditates.”

“I came to that conclusion. But there came a point when she seemed to be upset. It was almost scary, but she reached out her hand suddenly, and said, ‘no’ rather loudly, and the water around the boat shifted back from her hand.”

Thran stared at him, his forehead furrowing.

“I don’t know why she did that, but we kept going, and we saw the beast that attacked you.”

“You saw it?” Thran asked confused.

“Yes, it was standing on the shore a ways away from the cliff where you were. Perhaps it fell into the water, I don’t know. But Ra’chel directed us to the cliff where you were, and the instant we were close, she leapt from the boat up to you. Obviously, we couldn’t scale the cliff, so we went around to where we could get up, but I watched her for as long as I could.”

“Did she even hesitate?” he asked, looking down at Rachel.

“To heal you? No. From what I could see, she knelt down and placed her hands on you almost the instant she reached your side.”

Thran dropped his gaze down, and he realized that he was still clasping Rachel’s hand. He wasn’t sure how that would look to Thokov, but at the moment, he didn’t entirely care. Thokov was as much a brother to him as his own brother since they had gone through all their early schooling and explorer’s training together.

“What exactly did she do?” Thokov asked.

“The Jedi have a means of healing others. It requires taking their own life energy and putting it into the one who was injured or hurt.”

Thokov stared at Rachel. “So, she all but gave her life for you.”

Thran nodded, and he could feel Thokov’s eyes on him. “She must care very deeply for you,” he said.

Thran didn’t look at him. It was almost an echo of Bicendi’s words without the accusatory tone. “She’s my friend. I would do the same for her.”

“I understand,” he said.

They sat for a moment in silence before Thokov stood.

“Let me know when she wakes. I’ll make sure there is food for her.”

“Something a little more appetizing than Wujinif’s stew, I hope,” Thran said with a hint of amusement.

Thokov smiled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

He left, and Thran was left alone again with Rachel.

He put a hand against her cheek and felt that some warmth had come back. His shoulders relaxed. He felt more certain that she was going to be all right.

Chapter Text

One of the first things Rachel became aware of was how weak she felt. Her arms and legs felt as though they were buried in permacrete. Movement seemed to take all her willpower, so she didn’t even bother. Fatigue told her not to even open her eyes.

“Ra’chel?” She heard a familiar voice, but it sounded miles away, and she wasn’t sure she was up to the task of walking toward it.

There was a feeling of warmth and pressure against her left hand, and she wanted to turn toward it, trying to open her eyes to see the source, but the effort only added to her fatigue and plunged her back into the darkness.

The next time she woke, it was dark in the room, and she wasn’t sure at first if it was because her eyes were closed, but she turned her head and saw the warm glow of a heating unit. Her body still felt extremely weak, and it seemed too daunting to move. She looked around but then felt the presence of another in the room and knew instantly that it was Thran. He was sitting in a chair close to her bed, with his head resting in his arms on the edge of the cot, his hand holding hers.

She tried to grasp hold of his hand, but the effort felt futile. Her muscles were too stiff to acknowledge any signals her brain might be sending to them.

She took comfort in the gentle rising and falling of his back as he breathed. Attempting to move felt like an impossible task, but she wanted to move to her side and off of her back.

Pushing herself at the same time as she rolled was difficult enough without also trying to not wake Thran, but her movements caused him to stir.

His hand tightened around hers. “Ra’chel?” His voice was a deep, gravelly whisper, and she couldn’t tell if he had actually woken or not.

As she finished moving to her side, his head lifted and turned toward her, but fatigue again became too much for her, and she couldn’t keep her eyes open.

A warmth touched her cheek, and she unconsciously leaned toward it.

“Ra’chel?” She heard Thran’s voice call to her again, but it sounded far off. “Ra’chel, can you hear me?”

She wanted to nod her head at the very least to let him know that she heard him, but she wasn’t sure he could see the miniscule movement, but the tightening of his grip on her hand, and the sudden rush of relief she felt through the Force told her that he had in fact seen it.

It was all she felt before slipping back to sleep.

At first, Thran hadn’t been sure that Rachel had moved, but when he looked up and saw that she had changed position, he reached out to touch her cheek. Its warmth coupled with her reaction to his hand was a good sign.

“Ra’chel?” He wanted to be sure that this was real. “Ra’chel, can you hear me?”

Her head made the smallest movement, but he took it as a nod. He felt his chest swell with relief as he squeezed her hand tighter.

“It is going to be ok, Ra’chel,” he whispered. “You will be ok.”

He bowed his head down as he took in his emotions, attempting to get them in check when the door of the tent opened and Bicendi walked in.

She made it over to the side of the cot before speaking.

“How is she?” she asked almost reluctantly.

Thran looked up at Bicendi, trying to gauge what she really came here for.

“She just woke up for the briefest moment,” Thran said. “I believe she is beginning to heal more fully.”

Bicendi nodded absentmindedly as she looked over Rachel’s body as if she was looking at a wounded animal.

“We’ve got an extra bedroll in the other tent,” she said. “You should get some real sleep.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he told her firmly.

She was quiet for a moment, and Thran thought, for a moment, that she might leave, but he was wrong. “I’m still not certain I understand how you became friends with an alien like this,” she finally said.

Anger rose quickly, but he forced himself to keep a neutral face.

“Every human I have met has been the same,” she continued. “Arrogant, conceited, self-serving, and just plain stupid. I don’t see how you can befriend one.”

Making a conscious effort to control his voice, Thran answered, “Because Ra’chel is none of those things. Surely her actions are evident of that.”

“She is here for her Jedi training, yes? So this whole thing has been for her gain and has only put you in harm’s way.”

“I was asked to be a part of it,” Thran interjected. “I wasn’t forced to be here. I agreed to help Ra’chel with this part of her training partially for my own selfish reasons. Firstly, because I wanted to spend time with her, and secondly because I wanted to see how much her powers have strengthened. She is truly very remarkable.”

“Yet all she’s done is put your life at risk.”

“She has saved my life,” Thran cut her off, his voice rising as he stood up. “I don’t know if you forgot that, but she all but sacrificed her life to save mine. Does that sound like someone who is only here for their own gain?”

“I still don’t see—”

“I do not want to hear any more of your unfounded objections to our friendship,” Thran yelled. “If you came here in an attempt to dissuade me from being friends with her, nothing you say will work. If you came here for a real purpose, spit it out.”

Bicendi’s jaw was tight, but she remained silent as though she was thinking very carefully over her next words.

“There was something I wanted to discuss with you,” she said slowly.

“What is it,” Thran’s voice cooled.

“The others and I came here after a series of setbacks in our explorations. We are not making any progress other than to reaffirm what we already know about humans and the other species who live out here. It was my plan to return to the Ascendency from here.”

Thran felt his forehead tighten. “And?”

“With you being an ambassador,” she said, regaining her shrewd tone, “I think you could aid the Exploration Force here in the Outer Rim, don’t you think?”

“It’s not as easy as you make it sound. More often than not, I have found beings such as you have who are unwilling to ally with the Ascendency, some do feel threatened by us, and one has already tried to attack.”

She shot him a questioning look.

“You heard about Rattatak, didn’t you?”

“I heard rumors about it. What happened?”

“I was asked by their newly elected governor to help them with building a new structure of government. I asked Ra’chel to accompany me—”

“You brought an alien in on Chiss business?” She interrupted him.

“She is my friend,” Thran said, adding an edge to his voice. “She is a Jedi and is thus very capable of mediation should the need arise. And I trusted her to be there if anything went wrong. Which it did. The whole thing was a setup, and Ra’chel and I were held captive and tortured for information about the Ascendency’s military operations.”

“They questioned her?”

“You would be surprised what she knows,” Thran said dryly. “At any rate, she never said a word. And when she did speak, it was only to tell me to remain silent.”

“And why would you need convincing?”

“Have you ever watched someone you care about be tortured right in front of you while you were helpless to do anything?”

A brief pained anger flashed in her eyes, but she kept silent.

“I needed to hear her say those words. She was stronger than I was on Rattatak. They broke her in nearly every way, and yet she still—,” he felt his voice choke out, and he had to swallow and take a breath to regain control of it. “She protected the Ascendency. She had no need to. As you say, she’s an alien. An outsider. Why should she care what happens to the Chiss?”

“She didn’t tell them anything?”

“More than that. She made sure that I didn’t. I couldn’t bear to watch them harm her, yet she told me again and again to stay silent. I still hear it in my dreams.”

Bicendi was watching him closely through narrowing eyes.

“You really care for her,” she said. “Don’t you?”

Thran’s eyebrows creased questioningly. “She’s my friend. Of course I care about her.”

“There is a difference between caring about someone and caring for someone, Thran. Your emotions are rather strong, and you should do a better job of keeping them under control.”

She glanced back at Rachel before turning to leave, not letting Thran respond.

“The others and I will be going back to the Ascendency after we see that you two are back to your ship. You can carry on with your ambassadorship, and we will figure out if we can be of service in other areas.”

Thran opened his mouth to dispute her words, but she inclined her head sharply and said good night before he could say anything and quickly left the tent leaving him sitting there with his thoughts swirling dangerously fast in his skull.

There is a difference between caring about someone and caring for someone.

He looked down at Rachel’s sleeping face. He knew that he cared about her. He would do anything in his power to protect her.

Your emotions are rather strong.

His emotions had always been strong no matter what area of life he was dealing with. His father had always told him that he needed better control of his emotions, especially as he entered the political field.

He sat down in his chair again, staring at the calmness in her face.

What did he feel about Rachel? Trust. Friendship. Loyalty. Protectiveness.

She must care very deeply for you. He heard Thokov’s words echo Bicendi’s.

He picked up and held her hand between his own, resting his forehead against it. He closed his eyes and searched his heart—truly searched it. Past every barrier he put up and defensive wall he constructed, he needed to know what he felt.

Looking up, he gazed at Rachel’s face, remembering the way the sun caught in her eyes, taking every opportunity he could to make her smile or even laugh and seeing her whole face light up, seeing how strong she was, not just with the Force, but her will to protect him and his people, knowing how much he trusted her from almost the very beginning and how vulnerable she made him feel and allowed him to feel, and he knew. The realization sank in, filling his heart with warmth, and making his chest feel tight until he thought it might burst.

He loved her. With his whole heart and being, he knew that he loved her.

But just as quickly as his heart swelled, it broke. He couldn’t. As deep as his feelings went, he knew that it would never be allowed. The Syndicure would prohibit any such relationship with an outsider, and the Jedi Order was already against their friendship. Love was probably forbidden for the Jedi.

Your emotions are strong.

Would Rachel sense them? On the way to Coruscant from Csilla, she had felt what he had felt at the time, and that was before she had any real idea of how to control her Jedi abilities. She had better control now, but she had promised that she never looked past anyone’s outer emotions.

Back then, he had simply known that he had gained a real friend, and he had been happy about it, and she had feared that feeling then. Would his feelings scare her now too?

He looked past their intertwined hands to her sleeping face and felt his chest ache before closing his eyes against the thought.

No. She would never accept his feelings. He had to bury them deep down—hide them in a place where he wouldn’t look and where Rachel couldn’t sense them.

She was his friend and must always remain his friend. This, he had to accept, and with this, he had to be content.

Chapter Text

With a jerk, Rachel woke, noticing immediately that the action startled the person sitting next to her. He was instantly at her side.

“Ra’chel? Can you hear me?”

She looked into the concerned glowing eyes of her friend, the flood of relief washing over her as though it were her own.

“Thran,” she tried to say, her throat and mouth dry.

His hand grasped hers tightly as his eyes studied her.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

She tried to smirk. “Like I’ve been trampled by a…” She switched to English. “Moose.”

He smiled. “I suppose if you have your humor, you must be in perfect health.”

“Very funny.”

His forehead creased. “Do you recall anything that happened?”

She thought for a moment, then realized where she was and where she had been, and she looked at him.

“I tried to heal you,” her words tumbled out as she tried to sit up. “There was a creature. I saw it attack you. I tried to stop it, but you couldn’t hear me—”

“Ra’chel,” Thran tried to soothe her gently.

“—we tried to get there as fast as we could, but…Thran—”

“Ra’chel,” he said more firmly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She looked at him. The last time she had seen him, he had been bleeding out, and his body was broken.

“Whatever you did worked, Ra’chel,” he told her. “I do not know what you did or how you did it, but it healed me completely.” His eyes turned sad, and his voice became tight. “But I thought I lost you.”

He released his grip on her shoulder as she sat up fully. “How long have I been sleeping?” she asked.

“Two days,” he answered, studying her as she moved.

“Two days?!”

“Do you realize the extent of what you did?”

The fight left her as quickly as it had entered her. His logic, while sound, was infuriating. If he had been as close to death as he had looked, whatever she had done could have killed her. Two days was probably doing all right as far as her own healing went.

But she also had a trial to finish, and if she didn’t finish it, she knew Master Ywin would be disappointed in her, and his point would be proven that she wasn’t ready. She also knew that part of the trial was supposed to be about controlling her emotions, especially when it came to her connection with Thran. How would the Council look at what she'd done?

The door to the tent opened.

“I thought I heard her voice,” Wujinif said, carrying a bowl in each hand. “I am glad you are awake.”

She handed Thran one of the bowls, and by the look on his face, she could tell he had tasted the stew as well.

“Thank you,” Rachel said, taking the other bowl.

“How are you feeling?” Wujinif asked.

Rachel shrugged. “I’m not really sure. Tired, mostly.”

“I liked your phrasing before,” Thran said with a small smile. “Something about being trampled by a moose?”

Wujinif laughed, but Rachel just shook her head and smiled.

They talked a little bit while they ate. It wasn’t the lizard creature Wujinif had prepared before, and when Rachel asked, Wujinif said that Yokoov and Bicendi had gone fishing.

Her grandmother had smoked, seared, baked, and even served fish raw, but she’d never had it in a stew. It was…interesting. Wujinif also told Thran that she would bring in one of the cots for him whether he liked it or not, but Rachel felt exhaustion creeping over her.

As she started to close her eyes, she noticed Thran’s gaze lingering on her with an odd expression.

“What is it?” she asked.

He shook his head slightly. “I am just…glad that you are all right.”

She smiled faintly before falling asleep.

It was another full day before she finally felt strong enough to get up, and she carefully swung her legs off the cot and made her way out of the tent, walking out into the humid evening air towards the towering cliffs that guarded the lake. She passed Thokov, Yokoov, and Thran who were in the middle of a debate while Wujinif was watching something cook on the fire. None of them seemed to notice her, which was fine with her. She wanted some time to walk alone.

As she walked towards the lake, it was as quiet as the jungle creatures allowed it to be. Their howls and screeches could be heard answering each other from thankfully far off distances, and she paused and closed her eyes to reach out and sense the surrounding area, feeling only tiny creatures that scurried along the ground and small birdlike animals resting in the trees. Opening her eyes and continuing to walk, she looked up at the sky. Even though the sun had only just begun to set, she could see so many stars beginning to appear. It was something she hadn’t been able to experience since she had gone hiking late at night on her grandfather’s land, and even then, she hadn’t seen as many stars as she could now.

“Enjoying the view?” She heard Bicendi’s voice turned. She was standing in the boat folding what looked like some kind of net. Probably how she and Yokoov had caught the fish.

“I’m not used to seeing this many stars,” Rachel told her.

“Earth does not have the same view?”

There was sharpness that hadn’t been there while they had been searching for Thran. Not just in her tone, but it seemed to come from her whole being.

“Not exactly,” Rachel started to explain. “Earth is very polluted similar to Coruscant, though, not on quite the same scale. There are some places where you can see the stars. But not like this.”

Through the Force, Bicendi felt like how a snake looked when it was ready to strike, and for the life of her, she couldn’t think of why.

“Why did you choose to leave?” Bicendi asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Why did you choose to leave your homeworld and galaxy to come here?”

Her mind went back to when Thran asked her if she wanted to go with him to his galaxy or to return home where all the new feelings would go away, and it was strange to think about. She hadn’t known anything about the Force or the Jedi back then. Now, as she was going through her trials to become a Knight, she couldn’t think about going back to her life without the Force. All because she had chosen to go with him. He had given her the choice and given her the space and time to choose, and she had chosen to come.

“Thran gave me the choice,” she said. “I could either go back to my home and try to forget everything or go with this new person to a strange place and see where my life would go. The known or the unknown. I chose to explore the unknown.”

“Hmm,” Bicendi said. “Some call that the explorer’s spirit.”

While she relaxed a little bit as she exited the boat and walked toward her, Bicendi’s sense of shrewdness didn’t leave.

“Thran told me some of the things you have done for the Ascendency,” she said. “I was not aware that an Earthling had the capability to be compassionate or to care about anyone other than themselves.”

Rachel looked away and towards the water. That had been the general belief about Earth’s people. While travelling on the Star Jumper, she was asked many questions about Earth and about its history and people and about herself. They all had believed her to be an exception to what they had observed and learned about Earth.

“I am still not sure,” Bicendi continued, “what Thran sees in you other than a debt to be paid to the Chiss, but that is also none of my business. Perhaps with saving his life, that debt is paid.”

The initial sting of her words brought all of Rachel’s defenses to bear.

“You think that’s what this is?” she asked coldly, not raising her voice.

For a moment, she felt the condescension from Bicendi falter, but she recovered.

“Chiss do not associate with aliens. I have learned this more and more over the last few years. It is why we stay in and protect the Ascendency and its borders. Outsiders bring nothing and cause nothing but problems.”

“Then why send explorers into the Republic or to another galaxy?” Rachel asked. “Why appoint Thran as an ambassador in the Republic? Seems like you’re leaving a lot for a people who says they prefer isolation and hate aliens.”

“We need to keep an eye on our potential enemies,” she smirked.

“Thran would never be in that position.” Yet hadn’t he said those exact words to her about his expedition to Earth? Was that what he was now doing as an ambassador in the Senate? Was he there to keep an eye on anyone who might move against the Ascendency?

Or…

Was he there so he could be closer to her so he could keep an eye on her? The Syndicure had warned him that she was a threat. She knew more than any outsider ever should. Did they think she was too dangerous and now Thran was put in place to keep an eye on her?

“He’s my friend,” Rachel said, but it sounded hollow even to her own ears now.

“I am sure he made all the right promises and even gave you his word,” Bicendi said. “But I think you have drawn your own conclusions now. He is watching you.”

Rachel couldn’t find her voice. She wanted to protest. That couldn’t be true. He had been her friend. He’d supported her, encouraged her, listened to her when she needed it. He’d always been there.

She was about to speak when she felt the others approaching.

“Who is hungry?” Yokoov’s enthusiastic voice called.

“If it is more of that stew that Wujinif calls food, no thank you,” Bicendi said, turning to face them.

“I convinced her,” Thran said, “that cutting the animal up and cooking the meat by itself would be more to everyone’s liking.”

“I am still not entirely convinced,” Wujinif said, trying to sound hurt.

They passed out the usual bowls and sat down on the sand in the cliffs’ opening to the lake, watching the sun set. Instead of stew, the meat had been cubed and seared, and it almost looked to Rachel like a meal her grandmother used to make, only this wasn’t an animal that Earth had.

At the moment, however, she wasn’t all that hungry. She held the bowl in her lap and stared down at the meat, still trying to process through Bicendi’s words.

From beside her, Wujinif’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “See, Ra’chel does not like it. I should have made the stew. She ate that.”

She looked up, to find them all looking at her with different expressions. Bicendi with a knowing look, Wujinif with an exasperated yet somehow victorious look, Thokov and Yokoov simply looked up and went back to eating.

Thran’s eyes studied her.

“What is wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Rachel said, looking back down and trying to eat the food. It was a bit tough to chew, but the flavor was at least better than the stew had been.

“What did you talk about?” she heard him ask Bicendi in Cheunh.

Rachel felt her forehead tighten slightly but forced herself to relax. She wondered for a moment why he switched languages before it hit her that Bicendi didn’t know that she understood Cheunh.

“Nothing of great consequence,” Bicendi answered with a shrug. “Mostly we spoke about her homeworld.”

“That wouldn’t cause her to not eat.”

“Perhaps Wujinif is just a bad cook.”

“Hey!” Wujinif’s exclamation caused her to jump a little, and she had to keep herself from laughing because she wasn’t supposed to know why she was insulted.

“I think I know my friend better than that,” Thran’s voice remained calm.

“But you clearly don’t know all of your friends, do you?” If her words could have stabbed him, they would have.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve taken this alien to be a closer friend than your own kin.”

“Perhaps if my kin held themselves to a higher standard, I would hold them in higher regard.”

Bicendi was silent while Thran held her in a firm stare, and Rachel could feel the anger rise in her.

“Now,” he continued, his voice still calm. “What did you tell her?”

“Ask her yourself,” Bicendi said shortly, standing up and storming back to the tents.

The others were silent as they turned to watch Thran, but he turned to Rachel. “What did she tell you?” he asked her, still in Cheunh.

“Wait,” Thokov said. “She understood that?”

“I taught her Cheunh a long time ago,” he explained. “And she keeps up the study.”

Rachel nodded, but she couldn’t form words. She just looked down into her bowl of barely touched meat, all of her thoughts contradicting each other. Bicendi’s words had made sense and were logical, yet right in front of her was her friend who clearly cared about her. At least, his surface emotions told her that.

“We’ll go check on Bicendi,” Yokoov said as he stood, nudging the other two as he passed them.

Thokov was hesitant but followed.

Thran never took his eyes off Rachel, and she could sense his concern rising.

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” Rachel said, the words falling out as she switched to Basic.

“Explain,” Thran said softly.

“Bicendi did initially ask me why I chose to come here and leave Earth, so she wasn’t really lying about that. But…” she had to find the right words.

“But what?”

“She said that you weren’t really my friend. That the Syndicure has you watching and keeping an eye on me. That everything about our friendship has been a debt to be repaid.”

As she spoke, she could sense an anger settling below his other emotions.

“I couldn’t find a fault in her logic,” she continued. “Why else would you be made an ambassador so easily by the Ascendency when they don’t want to associate with aliens? They must want you to be near me to keep an eye on me. Am I really that much of a threat?”

“Enough,” Thran said, a touch of an edge to his voice. “I cannot listen to these lies.”

She looked up into his eyes, seeing in his face the usual stoicism, but his tone had been sharper than normal.

“Listen to me,” he said, “Is it true that the Syndicure does not trust you? Yes. But there is very little trust even among the Aristocra that make up the Syndicure, and even less for any alien they might meet.”

“But,” his tone softened, “that does not mean that I share their views.”

He paused as though considering something carefully before he set his bowl aside and scooched forward until his knees nearly touched hers.

“If you doubt my sincerity, I would ask you to do something you said you would never do. Look into my heart and mind. Use the Force and search my thoughts and intentions. I give you permission. I have nothing to hide from you.”

Rachel stared at him. She hadn't looked into his heart since she had accidentally done so when they were on their way to Coruscant. She hadn’t been able to control it then, but that had been so long ago. She had made the decision not to look past anyone’s surface emotions because she didn't like her own heart being searched.

But he was giving her permission. He wanted her to see his true intentions, and, truthfully, she wanted to know. She needed to know if these past years of friendship had been a lie or if he was genuinely her friend and was truly there for her.

She took a deep breath and gazed into his glowing red eyes, seeing their sincerity. Reaching out to the Force, she closed her eyes and looked into his heart, searching his intentions and thoughts.

Apprehension was natural, he was most likely nervous about her searching his private thoughts. Sorrow was not something she expected, and she followed it to find that it connected with guilt. Her forehead tensed as she concentrated, trying to understand his emotions. She recognized his caring and sincerity because they usually sat on the surface where she could easily read them, but she wondered if that was the reason they were so easy to read.

She took a breath and forced herself to look deeper. Underneath all of this, there had to be an underflow of something that linked it all together.

There was, and the instant she touched the emotion, it was as though the jungle, the cliffs, the lake, everything around her no longer existed, and she had to catch her breath. It was a familiar yet foreign feeling, and she wanted to both cling to it and run away from it. One thing she knew, this was not an emotion someone would feel if they were looking at a potential threat. It was so overwhelming, that she didn’t dare to look any deeper into his heart.

Opening her eyes, the world slowly came back into focus around her.

“Do you see?” Thran asked softly.

“I saw…” What did she see? She couldn’t put a name to the emotion. It was as warm and comforting as a campfire, yet strong as though he felt it with his whole being. It was sincere yet defiant. Contentment and caring and a strong need to protect. Everything Rachel wanted to both delve deeper into but was terrified to get close to.

“Our friendship,” she finally said, looking up into his eyes, but Thran looked down briefly before nodding.

“You see then,” he said, still talking softly and bringing his gaze back to meet hers, “that I mean and have meant every word. I would never harm you, Ra’chel, and I would never spy on your life. I have never deemed you a threat to my people. You are and will always remain my friend. Nothing and no one will stop that.”

Again, his sincerity surrounded her, and she couldn’t hold his gaze. He trusted her so completely, and she had been led to doubt with only a few words from someone she barely knew. What kind of friend did that make her?

His hand reached over to take hers, but she couldn’t look at him.

“I do not blame you,” he said. “Bicendi has always been tricky with words. I will talk to her.”

She nodded, not able to think of anything to say.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I just need a few minutes,” she responded.

He nodded and stood, looking in the direction of a howl nearby.

“You are sure you wish to remain out here?” he asked, still watching the surroundings.

“I’ll be all right,” she said, making a motion towards the lightsaber on her belt. “I can handle them.”

While the tension in his forehead didn’t ease, he nodded and walked back to the campsite.

She didn’t watch him go. She reached out to sense the creature who had made the noise. Finding its mind in the distance, she found in it no hostility, only its drive for survival. Just like so many animals.

She was curious though and stood up. Looking back to the camp and, seeing that no one was watching her, she started walking in the direction of the creature.

It wasn’t far, and its simple mind was easy to track even in the dark. Making sure to keep a good distance, she watched it. It was the same type of creature that had attacked Thran. This one’s fur wasn’t quite as dark, but there was no mistaking the claws and teeth. The troubling thing was how harmless it seemed. This same species had nearly killed Thran, yet here it was just going about its day—or night, rather. Was the other one just so hungry that it decided to attack a sleeping Chiss?

But that didn’t make sense either. Usually, a predator preferred live meat. This didn’t look like a scavenger who would go for something dead, and if Thran was sleeping, he would have appeared dead to the creature. So why attack the way it did?

It was a mystery, and she was so focused on trying to solve it that she didn’t know when the creature had turned around and taken notice of her.

Her whole body froze as she stared into the glowing yellow eyes of the creature.

It didn’t look like it wanted to pounce, but it was definitely in caution mode.

Carefully, she reached out to the creature’s mind. There was fear. It was in a fight or flight setting, and it was deciding which action to take. She nudged it slightly towards running away, and she watched as the creature bounded away through the bushes.

Fear? Had she felt that right? The creature had been afraid of her? She was just sitting there. Was it her apparent sudden appearance?

But then, why hadn’t the other creature had the same fear of Thran?

She heard a howl from the creature followed by an answer some further distance off and decided to return to the camp.

Chapter Text

The following morning was quiet and tense. Wujinif brought up her offer to let Rachel and Thran use the boat, but Bicendi was vehemently opposed. The others, however, argued that it was the least they could do for their friend, so she was overruled.

It didn’t take Rachel long to repack her bag and reroll her bedroll, and soon they were all piling into the boat. Wujinif stopped her before she got there and placed something in her hand.

“I do not know how much use you will have for it,” she said, “but I would like you to have it all the same. Yokoov has a spare if we need one, so Thokov and I thought you should have it.”

Looking at the small tubular device, she wasn't entirely sure what it was, so Wujinif showed her.

With the flick of a switch, a small flame shot from the end of the tube.

“It helps start fires,” she explained.

“A lighter,” Rachel said.

“A what?”

“On Earth we have something similar. They're called lighters.”

“Oh. I like that name better.”

“What do you call them?”

“Fireshooters.”

She laughed and tucked the device into a pocket. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome."

Bicendi wouldn’t let anyone else drive the boat, so she had to take Rachel’s directions as she used the Force to sense where Master Ywin waited with the shuttle.  Twice, she directed the group to the base of a cliff so that she could scale them to look into the jungle beyond the lake, hoping for any clue that the shuttle was there.

When they reached the base of the third cliff, Bicendi spoke up. “Did you ever consider we may be going the wrong direction?”

“I think she knows what she is doing,” Thokov admonished her.

Bicendi’s foul mood put a dampener on all of them, and it was definitely a weight on Rachel, but she tried to let it pass through her, telling herself that the emotion was not useful or helpful.

When she reached the peak of the cliff, she looked around, using the Force to enhance her vision like Master Ywin had taught her.

Off in the distance, she thought she caught the smallest glint of something and focused on it. It looked like some form of building, but she had thought this planet was devoid of civilization. How would there be a structure like that here? Unless it was a trick of her mind, and it was just the shuttle sitting on top of a cliff. Closing her eyes, she reached out. There was something there, but she couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

“Master,” she whispered, still reaching out towards the presence.

It stirred but gave no acknowledgement before closing itself off again. It was like when her father was sleeping and didn’t want to be woken up yet. It had to be Master Ywin. He must have been in a deep meditation while he waited for them.

She opened her eyes and started to climb back down to the boat.

“Good news,” she said. “I know where the shuttle is. Bad news, it’s pretty far inland.”

Thokov looked at Thran. The other two looked at Bicendi.

“This boat is going back to my ship,” Bicendi said firmly. “If your ship is that way, then you are on your own, Jedi.”

She hadn’t expected the group of Chiss to follow them, but the harshness of Bicendi’s words still stung.

“That’s fine,” she said, then glanced briefly at Thran before switching to Cheunh and acknowledging the others. “Thank you for your help. I hope that we will meet again someday.”

She had the satisfaction of seeing the shock on Bicendi’s face before her eyes narrowed and shot daggers at Thran who was smirking. She didn’t reply. Instead, she started the boat’s motor again.

Thran jumped from the boat to the shore.

“Farewell,” Thokov said to Thran before turning to Rachel. “I hope we meet again.”

“I’ll stay in touch,” Thran said, inclining his head.

“You’d better,” Wujinif said.

The boat sped off across the small lake, and Rachel watched it for a while.

“I like your friends,” she told Thran. “Bicendi is a little rough on the edge, but Wujinif makes up for it.”

He smiled. “I’m glad you like them. Don’t worry about Bicendi. I don’t expect she’ll change. But the others liked you.” He looked up at the cliff. “I don’t suppose there is an easier way around this?”

She looked at him then back to the cliff. She had used her Jedi abilities to jump and climb her way to the top. While he was strong and could probably climb it, he didn’t have Jedi strength enhancing abilities.

“I am sure if we walk along the shore, we can find an easier way,” she said.

They skirted the edge of the lake until the cliff wall gave way to a small cave system that led them through to the other side and into the jungle beyond.

“How far is the shuttle?” Thran asked.

“A fair distance,” she answered. “We will probably have to stop for the night before we make it there.”

He glanced around at the trees, clearly tense. “That doesn’t concern you?”

“It will probably be better to stop and make a fire than it will to keep going in the dark where night creatures can see better than we can,” she countered.

“True,” he said, but she could still sense his unease.

They made a good deal of progress through the day; Rachel always kept her senses alert for danger while also reaching ahead every now and then to make sure they were still on the correct course.

When sunset came, they gathered what wood they could, and Rachel used her lightsaber to cut some larger fallen trees, and they made a fire using Wujinif's gift.

“You should sleep,” Thran said. “I may not sense emotions the way you can, but I can see that you’re tired.”

The thought of sleep sounded nice, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to rest.

“You can sleep first,” she said.

Thran simply stared at her with a knowing look.

“What?” Rachel asked defensively.

“You need rest.”

She sighed. “I know.”

“It’s all right,” he said. “I can keep watch.”

Rachel handed him her lightsaber.

“You may not have the Force, but I think you can still hit a moving target with it.”

He took it and held it carefully. “Now get some sleep,” he told her.

She smiled a little and laid down on the bedroll, facing the fire. She watched the flames dance across the logs as she let her mind drift and allowed her body to relax.

Rachel’s lightsaber felt heavy in his hand, much heavier than he thought it would. He had never truly examined it since she’d made it, and he noticed now the way she had formed the nyix into a slightly curved hilt. Inlaid in it were beautiful carvings and etchings of what looked like trees, a stream, and a mountain, and the activation button was a beautiful dark blue gemstone—lazulite, if he remembered correctly.

He looked over at her. While her breathing had become rhythmic, her face did not show peace. He wondered how long she would sleep before a nightmare would wake her.

In the meantime, he watched the shadows that shifted in the trees whenever the flames from the fire changed in a slight direction. There had to be creatures out there watching them, and he would keep an eye out for them.

Between the warmth of the fire, the shadows playing tricks on his eyes, making them heavy, and his own fatigue, he didn't know when he had started to doze off, but Rachel's sudden jerk startled him to full alertness. Looking around at the shadows, he didn't see anything dangerous, but the fire’s light wasn't reaching nearly as far as before, and each shadow moved like a predator waiting to pounce. Reaching over to the small pile of wood, he grabbed two larger logs and placed them into the flames which eagerly devoured the wood.

Turning his attention back to Rachel, he watched her face for any further sign of nightmares. When she showed no sign of waking, Thran wondered if he had imagined her movement.

He turned as some of the bushes nearby rustled, and he gripped Rachel's lightsaber more firmly. He thought he detected a few bodies beyond the reach of their small camp, but the warmth of the fire didn’t allow him to see properly. And the creatures, if there were any, seemed to be in one place one moment and in another place the next.

Waking Rachel crossed his mind, but he also wanted her to get as much sleep as she could. However, that wouldn't do either of them any good if these creatures attacked and ate them both.

The vision of teeth and claws flashed in front of his eyes as he remembered his last encounter. He had no desire to fight off another one.

He sat and waited, ready to act if anything decided to venture out of the brush.

Beside him, he heard Rachel moan, and he looked down to see her face distorted in pain before settling back to almost neutral. Which incident she was reliving, he couldn’t guess, but he reached down and gently shook her shoulder.

“Ra’chel, wake up.”

Her face contorted again, and he felt the tension in her arm. He gripped her shoulder more tightly, but still only shook her gently.

“Ra’chel.”

Her eyes were wide and unfocused when she opened them, and it took several seconds before she seemed to realize where she was. Thran never let go of her shoulder, hoping it would give her a sense of grounding.

“Ra’chel?” he asked softly.

Her eyes focused and looked up into his.

“You are safe,” he told her, even though every time he said so he felt as though he was only repeating himself, and right now, he wasn't sure how true those words were. He wondered if she really believed him. “They cannot harm you.”

She nodded and began to sit up. Thran watched as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, wondering if she was doing a form of meditation. When they opened again, her eyes didn’t hold the same haunted look as before, but they also didn’t focus as she gazed into the flames of the fire, and she didn’t speak.

A creature howled near their right, but she didn’t move or flinch. He wasn’t even sure if she had heard it until the second howl came from their left.

“They’re circling us.” Her voice was neutral, and he realized then that she was reaching out with the Force to sense the creatures.

“How many?”

“Five,” she said. He couldn’t understand how she was so relaxed. She had seen what one creature could do. How much worse would five of them do?

“Do you want your lightsaber back?” he asked, hoping it would get her mind into a fighting mode.

“I don’t think I’ll need it,” she said.

His forehead wrinkled with confusion. Not need it? There were five dangerous creatures out there, and she didn’t want to defend herself? She hadn’t even lifted her eyes from the fire.

There was a sharp screech from in front of them, beyond the fire, and suddenly, as if waking up from a daydream, Rachel’s eyes snapped back into focus, and she took a sharp breath and looked around.

Thran stared at her not understanding, waiting for an attack, when he heard the creatures’ howls from much further away.

“What did you do?” he asked, not sure if he was ready to hear the answer.

“I can sense their minds,” she said. “I convinced them to search for prey elsewhere.”

“You can do that?”

“I made us seem more threatening than we are. Harder prey exhausts more energy. There is easier prey elsewhere.”

He stared at her in disbelief. She had convinced dangerous animals to hunt for their dinner somewhere else.

“How did you convince five hungry animals—”

“I didn’t convince them all,” Rachel interrupted him. “Just the alpha—the leader of their pack. If the leader decides the hunt isn’t worth pursuing, the others follow.”

“And how did you figure out which one was the alpha?”

“Dominance. Each one had a different sense of dominance. On Earth we called it the pecking order. A hierarchy within the pack for who’s in charge.”

“And you could sense that in their minds?”

“I can.”

“Fascinating,” he said. “That is truly extraordinary, Ra’chel.”

She smiled slightly and turned back to the fire, but he could see her face warm. He knew compliments were not a thing to which she was accustomed, which was why he tried to give them as often as he could. She really did not realize how remarkable she was.

“You should get some sleep,” she said, getting up from the bedroll so he could lie down.

“I will not argue,” he said. But as he lied down, he felt a small twinge of guilt. He felt completely safe going to sleep while she kept watch. He did not have the abilities she had and couldn’t protect her the same way. Yet she still chose to sleep and let him guard her. He wasn’t sure what kind of protection he could provide for her.

“Are you ok?” Rachel asked.

She must have picked up on his emotions. He was not doing a very good job of keeping them under control lately. He didn’t want to reveal his failings to her, but he also did not want to lie to her.

“There are some things on my mind,” he said, skirting the topic. “Perhaps in the morning we can talk further about them.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she said. “And by the way, I would like my saber back, if I may.”

“I thought you would not be needing it,” Thran jested as he held it out to her.

“Very funny,” she took the saber and clipped it to her belt. “Now go to sleep.”

Thran lay back down facing the fire with a small smile on his face. It wasn’t long before he drifted off to sleep.

The following morning, Thran could see that Rachel was no more rested than before she had tried to sleep the night before. When he had tried to ask her why she hadn’t woken him up so she could sleep more, she didn’t have a straightforward response. He knew the nightmares were the real reason, even if she didn’t want to admit it.

“What about you?” she said cutting through a large vine blocking their path.

“What about me?” he asked, taken aback a little.

“Last night you had something on your mind, and you said that we would talk about it.”

“Oh.” Thran had hoped she would forget. “Yes.”

“Well?”

Unsure how she would take it, he figured he might as well tell her the truth.

“Last night, I could tell there were multiple creatures around the camp, and I was not certain I would be able to protect us both. Then you almost effortlessly made them leave. I admit that I felt a bit of guilt about that. And in other circumstances as well. I am never able to protect you as I feel I ought to, yet you have consistently been there to help and protect me.”

She was silent for a while as they continued to walk.

“I realize it perhaps sounds ridiculous—”

“It doesn’t,” she cut him off. “But there have been times when you have protected me. You saved us on Earth, and you protected me in Monument Plaza. But oddly enough, I have felt the same at times. Not specifically about this, but in the way that you have always been able to support me and encourage me. You have always been almost like a light that I can turn to when everything’s dark. Which I know sounds cliché, but I don’t feel I have ever been able to do the same for you, not like you’ve done for me.”

He thought about it. She had encouraged him when he sought to bring the Ascendency and Republic closer via the Ambassador position he had obtained. He had to admit though, he often turned to his father for political advice merely because Rachel didn’t know enough about the political world. That didn’t mean he never went to her when something went wrong when he could. She had been his first thought when he wanted someone to accompany him to Rattatak, even though that had ended in disaster for them both. He had wanted her there when he gave his official proposal before the Senate. He talked things over with her before making final decisions, which, looking at it now probably was irrelevant seeing as she was not a part of the Chiss Ascendency, nor did she have any official say in the Republic. He merely liked having her opinion on things.

But, in a way, she was right.

“I suppose then,” he said. “In a way, we are even and balance each other.”

She was silent again, and he wasn’t sure if he had said something wrong. Should he have found some way to contradict her—to tell her that they were equals on both sides because to do so would be a lie. The only way he saw it was that they balanced each other. She protected him, and he supported her. Were there times when it flipped, yes. She was right that he had protected her in Monument Plaza. He hated what he knew those men might do to her. However, this seemed to be the way it was.

“I suppose you’re right,” she said.

And that was all she said. He couldn’t gauge her emotions, and he couldn’t read her face because she was in front of him. He didn’t press the matter.

They walked along in silence for a good while when he looked over into a small clearing to their right and saw the same creature that had attacked him. It was lying with its six legs spread out—its large claws extending out dangerously as it stretched. But its back was to them, so he didn’t think it had seen them.

“Ra’chel,” he whispered as loudly as he dared.

She turned and looked in the direction he was pointing.

“It hasn’t spotted us,” she said calmly.

How could she be calm?

“And when it does?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest.”

He looked at her and saw the puzzlement on her face.

“What do you mean?”

“The other night, I followed one, and it was scared of me. But I don’t know if I simply caught it off guard, or if it’s in its nature to not attack unless provoked.”

“What did I do that provoked it?”

“That’s what I don’t understand. It seems like a predator, so it wouldn’t go after something that’s already dead, and if you were sleeping, that’s how you would’ve looked. I was alive, and had snuck up on it, yet it was scared of me, and I was able to persuade it to run away.”

“Like you did with whatever was stalking us last night?”

“Similar, yes. And those were different creatures. But when an animal is in fight or flight, it’s easy to coax it into flight. The animals that were stalking us last night were already set on fight, so it was a little more complex than that.”

“And the creature there?”

“It hasn’t noticed us, so its mind is neutral.”

“I am not overly anxious for it to notice us.”

Rachel looked back at him, concern in her expression.

“Then we should keep moving as quietly as we can.”

He nodded, the tension refusing to leave his body. He could not take his eyes off the predator for more than the few seconds it took to step over a root or dodge a vine. Rachel, on the other hand, seemed to move with ease only now and then looking over towards the clearing. She was likely keeping her senses alert to any changes in its mind, but that somehow didn’t ease his own mind.

Even once they were out of sight of the clearing, it took him a while to relax. He felt that at any moment, the beast would tear through the jungle behind them and attack.

Rachel stopped, and Thran thought that he had been correct, and he turned around expecting to see it charging toward them, but there was nothing.

He turned back to Rachel and saw that her eyes were closed.

“What is it?”

“It’s…hard to describe,” she said slowly. “They’re like whispers…echoes. This place was touched by darkness.”

She opened her eyes, but they still looked to a far-off place.

Thran looked around. His people had stories about Odessen. A great battle had taken place here centuries ago during a war. Could that be what she was sensing?

“Come on,” she said. “The shuttle isn’t far.”

Just after noon, they reached what looked like an ancient landing pad, and in the middle of it was the shuttle that had brought them. When they entered, they found Master Ywin sitting in the living area on the small couch.

“Well, you certainly took your time,” he said.

“There were a number of challenges along the way, Master.”

“Indeed,” he responded, looking them both over. “You’d better get started writing your full report. The Council will want to know everything.”

He stood and began walking to the bridge. “Yours as well, Ambassador.”

“Why would the Council need Thran’s report?” Rachel asked.

“They may not,” he replied. “But it will be helpful to hear it from both sides if they need it.”

Rachel nodded and went to find a datapad before going to one of the sleeping rooms to begin her report.

Thran searched for his own datapad. He also wasn’t sure what use his side of things would be to the Jedi. He had merely been an observer, but maybe his observations would be all they needed. There were a lot of other things that had happened, though, that were not a part of Rachel’s actual trial. Bicendi and the others were not supposed to be there. Thran having to convince Rachel that he was indeed her friend by having her search his heart.

He still was not sure exactly what she had felt or how far she had searched. But was that something that he should record?

Probably not. He knew how the Jedi viewed their friendship. He knew that this had been a test for Rachel to see how she handled her attachment. But given how she had handled it, he wasn’t sure how they would see it. What she had done to save him was an extraordinary feat, but would they see it as her refusal to let him go?

He couldn’t guess. All he could do was write his observations.

Chapter Text

She knew that her fate hung in the balance before her, held in the hands of the Masters who sat behind the Council Chamber doors. She closed her eyes and tried to calm her stirring emotions. A Jedi was supposed to remain calm in all circumstances, she’d been taught. What she’d learned, however, was that emotions came regardless. It was what she did with them that mattered. She pictured the river in her mind and the emotions passing down that river and through her. She didn’t need them. They didn’t serve any purpose here. She took a slow breath and released the emotions.

She wasn’t sure if the Masters would have questions for her or if they had made a decision regarding her trials. That uncertainty roiled her thoughts into different scenarios that she needed to force out of her mind. Whatever came to pass would come to pass, and she would accept it.

Her commlink beeped signaling that the Council was ready for her. She settled her mind, stood up straighter, and walked to the Council Chamber. During the short walk, the anxiety grew again, and it became harder to get rid of. As she came up to the doors leading into the Chamber, she paused a moment to resettle herself before stepping forward as the doors opened for her.

All the Masters were present today, which seemed unusual. Typically, at least one or two were off planet on a mission. Surely, she hadn’t been the reason they were all here.

“Welcome, Padawan Bakandi,” Master Zhulung greeted her.

“Masters,” she bowed.

“We’ve read your report, and Master Ywin has told us about your accomplishments on Odessen,” he continued.

Rachel shuffled her feet slightly. She wasn’t sure what kind of light her Master would shed on her actions. She had been a bit reckless in the way she had carried out the mission, but she’d gotten it done.

“How are you feeling?” Master Sahga asked.

There was no emotion, there was peace. While Rachel felt many emotions, she strove for and sought peace. She knew that the Masters surrounding her were likely seeing her struggle.

Rachel tried to speak, not realizing how dry her mouth had become, and had to swallow to get moisture moving. “To speak truthfully,” she began, “I’m feeling uncertain.”

“Uncertain?” Master Hetta asked.

“The mission was clear,” Rachel said. “Find Thran, and then, together with him, find the ship.” She took a careful breath. “I did this, but I know how my actions could be seen.”

“And how is that?” Master Xal prodded her.

Rachel looked down at the floor. “Reckless. Rash. Perhaps even driven by emotions.”

“And perhaps you are right,” Master Brozada said.

“However,” Master Zev interjected. “I sense that you have a defense for this.”

Rachel turned to him and then began to look at each of the Masters in turn. “The Jedi are protectors. We are called on to protect the weak and defend all lives. If that protection comes at the cost of my own safety or even my own life, then what is that to me? I will have fulfilled my duty as a Jedi in protecting those around me. Isn’t that what the Code says?”

There was silence for a moment, and Rachel could see a few of them nodding ever so slightly at her words, Master Xal was leaning forward, resting his chin in his hand, and she thought she could see Master Zev smiling a little.

“You spoke of being driven by your emotions,” Master Ywin said. “Were your personal feelings for the Ambassador a factor?”

Rachel knew it would come up. It was one of the key parts of the trial. She was prepared to answer.

“Thran is my friend,” she said. “I cannot and will not deny that. Did emotions of protectiveness come up during this trial,” she paused, knowing she couldn’t hide it from them. “Yes. However, I never killed the creature that attacked him. I saw it on the bank of the lake as we neared where we found him. I believe that if I had acted out of anger or fear, I would have killed it. But I didn’t. Instead, I focused on saving life.”

“A further question, Padawan,” Master Runan said, her vocal translator collar making the words come out slow. “What if it were an enemy you needed to save? Would you have done for an enemy what you did for your friend?”

Rachel glanced over at Master Runan, taken aback by the question, then looked at the ground searching for an answer. Her forehead creased with concentration, knowing that she needed to really search her heart for the answer.

“I suppose,” she started slowly, “it would depend on what I know of the enemy. If I knew them to be honorable and would not slay an unarmed opponent, I would perhaps do the same for them in the hopes of changing an enemy into an ally. However, if the enemy were someone who could not be trusted, I would not do the same. Human nature would likely overshadow my desire to save them, knowing that the instant I was vulnerable, they would kill me.”

“A wise answer,” Master Xal said, a small smile on his face.

“Very wise indeed,” Master Sahga echoed.

“I therefore believe,” Master Zhulung said, “that you are to be congratulated on the completion of your mission on Odessen. Your feats were nothing short of extraordinary by all accounts.”

“You completed the Trial of Skill in your battles against creatures and the elements, and your remarkable ability to reach out over great distances with the Force,” Master Sahga said.

“You completed the Trial of Flesh when you healed Ambassador Mitth’ra’nikuru, putting your own life at risk,” Master Xal said.

“You completed the Trial of Insight just now in your answers to our questions,” Master Runan said.

“However,” Master Ywin’s tone made it clear this was going a different direction. “Two Trails remain. The Trial of Courage and the Trial of Spirit.”

“Some of us,” interjected Master Zev, “believe that you have completed aspects of the Trial of Courage, but as you go through the Trial of Spirit, you will complete the Trial of Courage.”

So, she wasn’t to be a Knight yet. She had felt her chest swelling with each Master’s statements about her actions until Master Ywin spoke of her shortcomings, as he so often did. They wanted to test her further.

She’d heard about the Trial of the Spirit—read about it. Some Padawans woke from the meditation screaming from visions they saw. This Trial was meant to be a walk through one’s deepest fears in the darkest crevices of one’s mind. She wasn’t sure that was a place she wanted to go. She already had nightmares most nights from things she had been through. What would purposely meditating on those things bring up?

“Padawan?” Master Zhulung’s voice cut into her thoughts.

Rachel hadn’t realized that she’d been silent for so long. “Yes, Master.”

“Master Ywin has asked to oversee your meditation. If you wish some time to prepare yourself, you may have it.”

She wished she didn’t have to go through it at all.

“I would like some time,” Rachel said, turning to Master Ywin. “If that is all right, Master.”

He nodded.

“Very well,” Master Zhulung said. “Then you are dismissed, Padawan. May the Force be with you.”

Rachel bowed and left the chamber, her mind racing.

She went immediately to her room to try and calm herself but found no relief there. Her room was where the nightmares came.

Sparring was one way she calmed her mind. Pushing her muscles to the limits while allowing her mind to focus on the moment, keeping her calm during the fight. But when she got to the sparring room, there were already multiple people there, and she didn’t feel like sparring on her own while there were so many people there.

Unless…

She searched the room a little more closely. Matyus was always good for a sparring round, but she couldn’t spot him among the Knights.

“Rachel,” a familiar voice said from the far-left side of the room. Rachel turned and saw Ketrin walking towards her, a training saber in one hand and a young Togruta girl on her other side.

“Hey, Ketrin,” Rachel greeted her. “Who’s this?”

Ketrina turned slightly, gesturing to the young girl. “This is Anra Tahar, my Padawan Learner.”

Rachel looked at the girl, she must have been around twelve years old. Her lekku barely reached her shoulders, but Rachel could sense a strong determination in her.

“What brings you here?” Ketrin asked.

“I came here to see if I could spar with the training droids,” Rachel answered, “or maybe with Matyus, but there are a lot of people here, so I think I’ll just find some other way to prepare.”

“Prepare?” Ketrin asked. “For what?”

It had been a while since she’d spoken with Ketrin, so she hadn’t told her that the Council had put her through her trials.

“I completed part of my trials,” she explained, “but the Council wants me to go through the Trial of Spirit.”

Ketrin was silent.

“Is it really as bad as I’ve heard?”

She seemed to hesitate. “I never had to do it. But I’ve heard it’s pretty scary.” She paused. “I know I’m not really a match for you, but I’d be willing to go a round or two. It would give my Padawan the chance to observe a real duel.”

Rachel glanced at Anra, her young, innocent eyes full of questions, but with so many of her own questions and mixed emotions, she didn’t think that she would be a good example for the girl.

“I’m sorry. Maybe some other time. I need to prepare for this trial.”

She left the sparring room and decided to go down to the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

She took a deep breath, trying to think about nothing at all. But she couldn’t. Her heart was heavy, and her thoughts circled each other like animals ready to fight each other.

She went to sit down by a rock near the waterfall, then had a better idea. She called on the Force and leapt, landing on a rock halfway up the waterfall’s side, and leapt again, landing near the top. She climbed the last few steps to the top by hand. The view was nice from up there, and she knew she was unlikely to be disturbed.

She sat down and tried to meditate, but her thoughts were chaotic, and she couldn’t focus to find her inner calm. Her shoulders dropped and she opened her eyes. She hated the thought of diving into her past. It was riddled with pain, nightmares, and thoughts of inadequacy.

She had a thought and reached into her pocket and pulled out the Chiss comm. She knew he’d gone back to his apartment and was going to fill in the Syndicure on what had happened on Odessen, and she wasn’t sure if she should disturb him. For all she knew, he could be meeting with his father or another Aristocra or even be being questioned by the Syndicure right now.

She keyed it on, knowing that he probably wouldn’t answer.

But even though she knew that he wouldn’t answer didn’t help when he didn’t answer, and her heart sank with each passing moment.

“I hope you realize how precarious your ideas are,” Syndic Mitth’al’amikuz said. “It’s one thing for the Exploration Force to be poking around too closely in Republic Space; it’s another thing entirely for you to meddle alongside them.”

“That’s where I think you’re wrong,” Thran argued. “Working with the Outer Rim systems is exactly where the Ascendency should be starting. Our borders are closest to them, so they have the most cause to be afraid. As Ambassador, I can work between the Syndicure and the Senate to ensure that peace remains and all fears are dispelled.”

“I think it’s worth a shot,” his father spoke up. He’d been quiet throughout most of the call, only offering an opinion here and there. “You’ll have to send an official report to the Syndicure, naturally, but I don’t see why this shouldn’t be explored.”

On his desk, his comm began to chirp.

“Very well,” Syndic Thalamik relented with a heavy sigh. “But I don’t think it will get very far. We will still have to wait for the group of explorers in question to bring their reports.”

He looked down at his comm as it flashed with Rachel’s code, and his heart tightened. She could only be calling regarding the Council’s ruling on her trials, and he was anxious to hear.

“I don’t see what bearing their reports will have on the matter,” his father said.

“It could have more weight than you realize,” Syndic Thalamik said. “They have firsthand experience on those planets and in the Outer Rim in general. How much time have you spent in the Outer Rim, Ambassador?”

He reluctantly pulled his attention away from his comm. “I admit I haven’t spent much time out there, and what time I have spent there has been mixed, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth pursuing.”

“Agreed,” his father said.

“I will submit my report as soon as I can,” Thran said. “But you will have to excuse me. I have a call coming that I need to answer.”

“When you are done,” his father said quickly, “I would like a word.”

“Very well.”

“Good day,” Ambassador,” Syndic Thalamik ended the call.

Not wasting another second, he answered the comm, hoping he hadn’t missed her. “Ra’chel?” he answered, shaking his voice’s formal tone and switching his mind back to Basic.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m disturbing you, aren’t I.”

Just by her tone, he could tell something wasn’t right. “I have just gotten off a call with my father and Syndic Thalamik,” he reassured her. “Is something wrong?”

She didn’t answer which was all the answer he needed.

“What is it?” he asked gently.

Her words spilled out all at once. “The Council still believes that I haven’t fulfilled all the requirements for becoming a Knight, and they’re having me go through one more trial called the Trial of Spirit.”

“That sounds ominous.”

“Some Knights have called it ‘facing the mirror’,” Rachel continued. “While a Master from the Council watches, the Padawan goes into a very deep meditation and basically goes into mental combat with their innermost demons in the darkest recesses of their mind.”

He took in the meaning of her words, knowing exactly what it meant for her. He knew her past, and they talked about the nightmares because it helped her, and he had admitted to her that he had his own battles with nightmares from time to time. “There is not a way for them to forgo it given your past?”

“Not likely,” Rachel said softly. “Especially given that I haven’t told them about most of it.”

They were silent for a moment, and he knew he needed to say something.

“Ra’chel,” he began, feeling his emotions rise and begin to swirl. “You are a very strong person. Stronger than most whom I have met. I understand your fear. Going through what you have endured is more than any being should ever have to. But asking you to actively seek out and meditate on the very nightmares that keep you awake at night…” His voice choked out. Flashes from Rattatak, Earth, and Monument Plaza played in front of his eyes, and those were just what he had seen. Not to mention everything she had suffered on Nar Shaddaa, wherever the Hutts had held her prisoner, Ylesia, and she lived with the nightmares. He was as helpless to help her now as he had always been. What could he say that would help her overcome this last trial?

“Wait,” she said suddenly. “The Trial of Spirit is a meditation to fight those fears.” She paused. “It’s a battle.”

He let out a slow breath as her words sunk in. He knew how strong she was. He knew she could fight, but to fight her demons in her mind?

“You are resilient,” he said, choosing his words with great care, but he knew worry was creeping into his voice. “You have great endurance, and a perseverance that I have yet to see matched. And I know that you can overcome this, but Ra’chel…”

He had to stop himself and take a breath. He couldn’t admit it to her. He’d never felt this way before. He’d never felt scared like this, and deep down, he knew why. And he knew that he couldn’t tell her.

“What is it?” she asked.

He hesitated. “I cannot say.” He paused, knowing he owed her an explanation but also knowing she wouldn't accept it.

He decided to change course. “But I believe you can overcome this because you are resilient. You have done some truly remarkable things, and you constantly show how powerful you are. You have already beaten these things once, and I know you can do it again.” He paused, hoping his words would sink in before he changed the subject. “You said a Master oversees the meditation, did you not?”

“Yes,” she said quietly. “Master Ywin asked to oversee it.”

His anger rose.

“What’s wrong?”

“I still do not entirely trust him,” Thran said, his voice hard. “For him to oversee you going through the darkest parts of you—”

“He’s my Master,” Rachel interrupted him.

But Thran had never been able to forgive what he'd allowed to happen. Her Master's job was to protect her, and he’d failed. Even though Rachel still respected him and respected his teachings, Thran knew he couldn't.

“I only ask that you be careful.” He knew the concern was evident now in his voice. “Please.”

“I will,” she promised. “And I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

“I am always here when you need me, Ra’chel.”

He hoped that talking through things had helped. She had found her own answer to the problem, so he wasn't sure how much help he had been.

“I know,” she said.

“May warrior’s fortune smile upon you,” he said, remembering the familiar phrase he always told his brother before he left home. He wasn't sure if Rachel would find it helpful or not, but he hoped so.

“Thank you,” she said. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“I look forward to hearing your victory,” he said.

Rachel clicked off the comm and took a deep breath, settling herself back into a meditative sitting position and trying to find her inner calm again. She hoped it would be a victory, but she knew that the demons living in those dark corners of her mind would put up a horrible fight.

She found meditation easier now. Talking things over had helped, and she could now prepare herself better. She was going into combat with herself, her past, her demons, and the darkness that lived inside of her. She needed to find her calm, her light, her source of solidarity, and her strength. Once she could find something firm to hold onto, she knew that she would be able to fight against anything that came against her. She just needed to find it.

Chapter Text

Master Ywin led her down to one of the meditation rooms in the basement levels of the Temple set aside for things like this. Inside, the lights were a dim, dark blue, and the floor was covered in a thick dark carpet. In the middle of the room were two circular meditation chairs.

Master Ywin closed the door behind them. “You may begin when you are ready.”

Rachel walked over to one of the chairs and sat down, her legs crossed, her hands resting in her lap. Master Ywin sat down across from her, not taking a meditative position, but a watchful one.

“Clear your mind,” he said. “This will be a long and difficult journey.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, not entirely sure where to begin, but she turned her mind inwards and leaned into her heart, trying to search for the fears she concealed in the darkness there, but they hid like wolves in the dark forests on Earth. She chased after them—almost feeling herself running—focusing on the snatches she could see, and the air around her grew colder with each step.

She stopped.

She was chasing shadows. Taking a deep breath of cold air, she searched around her. There were eyes watching her. Many eyes. They were stalking her. She reached out to feel their presence but couldn’t get a fix on them.

Shadows. She was chasing shadows.

But those shadows were why she was here. She walked again, further into the woods, the air becoming as frigid as winter. She gritted her teeth as she shivered, knowing that what she sought was still deeper into the darkness.

Soon, she found herself standing on the bank of an inky black lake, and as she stared at it, her chest tightened, and she had to force herself to breathe before she walked along its edge. Its waters reached for her with every wave, but to her right, still hiding among the trees and bushes, she could feel the shadows stalking her. She needed to keep walking.

Looking up, she hoped to see stars or the moon, but the sky was just as black as the lake to her left, and it was eerie how the two met wherever the horizon was. Howling and an almost other-worldly screech reached her ears, and she felt the hair all over her body stand up. Somewhere in the woods, whatever was hunting her was close, and she took an unconscious step away from it, but the icy water grabbed at her left foot, and the fear that gripped her sent her tumbling backwards away from it.

Had she imagined it, or had she seen pale eyes beneath the surface? Images of her two classmates falling from the deck of a ship into the icy water flashed in front of her. They’d never found their bodies.

A sharp splash sprayed her, and she forced herself to her feet, backing as far away from the water’s edge as she could, but she felt a sudden warm breath on her neck and turned quickly. There were only shadows and darkness behind her, but a flash of lightning over the lake made her turn and run.

Up ahead, a dark cave loomed, and she paused, her heart pounding against her chest. Whatever she was supposed to face was inside. These visions so far had only been the beginning.

Taking a slow, shaky breath, she walked into the cave, hearing the echoes her feet made against the stone walls. The shadows seemed to move alongside her as she walked further, and even though she tried to focus on her breathing, her heart raced out of control.

A stark strike of electricity resembling lightning flashed close to her right side, making her jump back right into a metal slab resting against the wall, its straps reaching out to grab her, and her whole body stiffened as she fought them off and ran away from it, residual electricity shooting out after her.

With an effort, she slowed back to a walk and turned further into the cave. A cage stood in the middle of an open cavern, and she could hear voices that didn’t speak intelligible words. She looked around for the owners of the voices but couldn’t see them.

The sight of the cage brought images of twisting pain, and she could feel where her knee and shoulder had been severely dislocated. She saw the men and…

She closed her eyes and turned away from the cage, her jaw clenched tight.

She started to walk further, but all around her, she felt the presence of enemies despite not being able to see any of them. She heard the taunting tones of their voices but still couldn’t understand them, and reaching out with the Force to enhance her hearing only made the sounds louder.

Without warning, an explosion rocked the cavern, sending her flying to the ground, and three dark figures walked towards her from all sides, two wielding the long club weapons the Rattataki had used—some kind of electrostaff, she’d learned—and the third swung a knife at his side. She stood up quickly, reached for her lightsaber, and held it out in front of her, but it wouldn’t activate. She stared down at it, her heart racing. No matter how many times she tried, it wouldn’t turn on.

“What’s wrong, little Jedi?” one of the dark figures taunted as it circled around her. “Is your laser sword not working?”

“What makes you think she’s a real Jedi?” another taunted circling the other direction.

“She can’t even get rid of us.” Without warning, all three attacked at once, and Rachel could only roll out of the way of the weapons. She tried to push out with the Force, but the Force wasn’t there.

“You see?” one of them said as it walked towards her. “She’s no Jedi.”

“She’s an imposter,” another said as it twirled its long knife.

“She never was a Jedi, was she?” the third said.

They all struck out again, and Rachel ran further into the cavern through a small opening in the wall.

“You can’t hide, small one,” one of the voices called.

Suddenly, next to her, glowing green eyes appeared, followed by the appearance of a clawed hand that reached for her, pulling at her robes, but she ran out before it could do more.

As Rachel ran from the hiding place, she had to roll out of the way as the dark figures waiting with their weapons struck down at her. She tried to run further into the cavern, but another figure appeared, its laugh coming out like a Hutt’s.

“No, you’re dead,” Rachel said, her whole body gone rigid as she backed away from it, her throat tight. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she couldn’t breathe.

It laughed again. “Not in here, I’m not,” the figure said as he snapped his whip out towards her.

She tried to duck out of the way, but the whip struck against her back, and she could feel where the blood had flowed before.

The figure laughed again.

She tried to run, but the ground began to give way underneath her. She tried to reach for something solid, but the rocks kept giving way into an ever-growing pit behind her.

She fell further into darkness, hearing only the laughing and taunting of those above her as she tried futilely to grab hold of something or to get a foothold as the cave crumbled around her, but it was hopeless. They had her trapped. Each swing of a knife could only narrowly be avoided, each blow from the club end of the electrostaffs barely dodged, and she knew she couldn’t keep it up forever. The whip always found its mark, ripping her back apart just as it had before. Electric charges shot from the electrostaffs, and the convulsions swept over her.

How was she supposed to fight this? There was no light here. Guilt pressed down on her, and she fell further. She had to fight back, but how? With what? The figures were right. Was she really a Jedi? The Council hadn’t wanted to take her in. She’d only ever questioned everything she learned. This was all a test to see if she could really be a Jedi.

And she was failing.

Each time she grabbed for a handhold, the rock came loose from the wall, and the chasm grew larger beneath her feet. She tried to find her calm, but fear had too firm a hold. Even as she tried to tell herself that fear had no place and tried to let it pass through her, a knife would hit a rock near her hand or the whip would strike her back, and the tauntings surrounding her brought it right back. Each snap of the whip, each swing of a knife, each blow from the clubs, and each jolt of electricity sent more and more fear through her.

She couldn’t find her solid ground. She couldn’t see light. There was no calm here.

“I can’t.” She suddenly realized that she was crying. Tears fell from her eyes without control. “I’m scared.”

More laughter echoed in her ears.

“Embrace your fear,” a new voice said. It sounded familiar, but she couldn’t tell where she’d heard it before, and she couldn’t see the speaker.

The taunting continued. “She’s too weak to fight.”

“She will never survive.”

“Let’s kill her.”

“I’m not weak,” Rachel tried to say, but the words barely squeaked out of her mouth through the tightness and tears.

The figures laughed.

“Use your anger,” the new voice echoed through her thoughts again.

“She’s no Jedi,” the figures taunted.

She wasn’t weak. Wasn’t that what Thran had told her? He told her that she was strong for having survived these things once. Nearly every night, she saw them. The metal slab with the electricity shooting through her body. The psychotic man wielding the whip. The men with electrostaffs and knives torturing her in that cage to get to Thran. The Falleen who had raped her and given her over to the Hutts. Everything that had happened when the Hutts had enslaved her. The three men who attacked her at Monument Plaza.

Even now, she couldn’t fight them. Even when she was in control, she didn’t have control.  They were right. She was weak. She wasn’t a Jedi. How could she be?

She tried to picture Thran’s face. Tried to focus on it. He was the only one who ever believed in her, and she had let him down horribly.

She closed her eyes to the darkness surrounding her and searched her mind for his face. His glowing red eyes, his caring smile, his gentle voice as he encouraged her. He’d always shown her kindness. Always shown understanding. Always been her friend. Always believed in her. She took a deep breath, continuing to focus on him. He’d been the one to save her and help them escape from the psychotic man and he’d killed the men in that facility on Earth. While it had been his unwillingness to speak that continued her torture in that cage on Rattatak, his silence kept her alive. He helped her talk through what happened when she’d been a slave. And he killed the men who attacked her.

And she had seen his heart. She had felt how much he cared. The warmth and protectiveness, the sincerity, compassion, and strength he felt; she had been afraid of it at the time, but right now, she clung to that feeling and listened to his voice. He told her she was strong, resilient, powerful. She'd already beaten these things once, and he believed she could do it again.

She opened her eyes. It had gone quiet. The cavern was no longer collapsing in on her, and she stood on solid ground.

And the voices…they were silent.

Except for one.

“You think your love gives you strength?” it resounded.

She felt her forehead crease. Love? Thran was her friend, certainly, but she had never thought of him more than that.

“The alien makes you weak.”

“You’re wrong,” she said.

It laughed menacingly. “We shall see…”

She thought it left, but there, in front of her, where there was still darkness, she saw a dark hooded figure with yellow eyes, and a sudden eruption of lightning burst toward her, and her instinct was to bring up her lightsaber to block it, but it still wouldn’t activate.

She reached inside herself, looking for the Force, searching for her strength, and saw it in a pair of red eyes smiling back at her.

Pushing out with the Force, she sent the lightning back towards where she had seen the yellow eyes, but all that was there now was the cavern wall.

She took a slow breath, her body still tense and set in a combat stance, but no further attacks came. After a few moments, making sure no further threats came, she relaxed her body and started walking out of the cavern.

As she left the cave, she looked up, and, in the sky, she saw stars shining through the darkness.

With a final deep breath, she opened her eyes and found herself back in the dimly lit meditation room with Master Ywin sitting across from her.

“Welcome back,” he said calmly. “How do you feel?”

Rachel thought about it, everything she just experienced felt so real, yet it had all been inside her mind. What did she feel?

Then she knew what he was really asking.

“There is no emotion,” she quoted. “There is peace. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is order.”

She looked up at him, and it seemed a rare time when he looked truly proud of her.

“Well done, Padawan. Come,” he said, standing up. “I will report to the Council, and I believe that you have earned some rest.”

She smiled briefly and followed him from the room, feeling suddenly exhausted.

It had been about midday when she’d gone down into the meditation chamber, and she noticed when they came up that it was barely passed midday now.

“It felt like I was in there much longer than an hour, Master.”

He looked at her, then at the sun outside the window. “You were,” he said. “You were in there for over a day.”

She stopped short. Over a day? She knew it was longer than an hour, but over twenty-four hours?

“There’s no way,” she started to say.

“Meditation is a funny thing,” Master Ywin said, stopping to turn and face her. “You can be in for a few minutes and feel like it’s been eight hours, or you can be in for two days and feel like it’s been a few minutes.” His voice became firm. “Meditation is a good thing, and every Jedi should do it. However, we must be careful not to stay in for too long, or we risk losing ourselves.”

Rachel nodded and then smiled.

“What is so amusing?” he asked.

“Always room for one more lesson, right, Master?”

He gave her a small half smile. “Life will always be teaching you lessons. It is your job now to heed them.”

They walked again for a while in silence.

“Master?” Rachel started to ask.

“Yes?”

“During my meditation, I heard a voice that seemed different from the rest of the visions.”

“Oh?”

“It encouraged me to lose control of my emotions and to harness them—use them.”

“That sounds like a voice coming from the dark side.” He turned to her as they walked. “Did you recognize the voice? Have you heard it before?”

“I thought I had.” She thought back. She knew it had been familiar, but she couldn’t place where she knew the voice from. “But I don’t know where I’ve heard it before.”

“Hmm.”

Rachel wasn’t sure whether to bring up the next part, but it had been what saved her from the visions. “There’s more.”

“I think you should save it and bring this all before the council.”

Chapter Text

Once again, Rachel stood in the middle of the Council Chamber, waiting to hear the Council’s ruling.

She’d told them everything. Every part of the vision—the figures, the knives, the taunts, the floor giving way. She told them how Thran’s friendship had saved her, and she told them about the final voice—its threats and lures and its last attempt to attack her—and they were silent for far longer than she liked, but that also meant that they were taking it seriously.

“Your visions are far darker than what most Padawans see,” Master Zev observed.

“Indeed,” Master Zhulung said. “This last voice you heard; you say you recognized it?”

“I think I did,” Rachel answered. “The trouble is, I have no idea where I heard it before.”

“Hmm,” he mused. “It could be that it is simply a forgotten voice from your past, but it could also be a voice from a future event.”

“That would explain why it didn’t die along with all the other past visions,” she thought out loud.

“We must be cautions,” advised Master Noor, “when trying to analyze visions of the future.”

“Not all visions of the future come to pass,” Master Sahga interjected.

“But it is worth noting,” Master Ywin spoke up, “that it brought attention to your friend.”

She knew this was coming and had mentally prepared for it as best she could. “I don’t think it was so much a warning as a threat, Master,” she said.

“Explain your reasoning,” Master Xal said, leaning forward.

“I was struggling through the whole meditation until my thoughts were brought to Thran, and I focused on him. His friendship has always brought me stability and strength when I couldn’t find it in myself.”

“Stability and strength that you ought to have found in your Master?” Master Brozada interjected.

She looked from him to Master Ywin to the floor. “Perhaps I should have, but I admit that I didn’t.”

Trust had always been difficult. While she respected her Master, she never felt like she had a real, trusting bond like other Padawans had with their Masters. She never felt that he gave her that boost of confidence when she needed it or that he would be there to catch her if she fell.

When Master Ywin had taken her as his Padawan, it had seemed like a matter of pride. Matyus believed that he wanted Rachel to be the best, and that in training her to be so, he would be more renowned as a Master. But after what happened on Nar Shaddaa, her trust in his ability to protect her vanished, and when he continued her training, she quickly grew in strength and knowledge, and at first, he pushed her even harder towards her limits, but then he’d inexplicably held her back. The other Masters seemed to turn a blind eye to it, but what Master Ywin did caused a rift between Master and Padawan. She didn’t trust him to have her best interests at heart. Though she’d tried to seek help from him when visions and nightmares plagued her, he’d brushed her off, so she didn’t trust him to protect or reassure her, and she certainly never sought him out when she needed encouragement or help in finding the strength she needed to persevere. He was usually the cause of her feelings of inadequacy.

But could she dare to bring this up to the Council now? She wasn’t sure it was the time or place, so she remained silent.

“Yet you believe it was a threat?” Master Solina asked.

She played the vision back through her mind. While the words themselves may not have seemed like a threat, the feeling they had wedged into her felt like a threat.

“I believe it was,” she affirmed. “I know that it may not sound like it to others, but I felt it. Whoever it was was threatening Thran.”

There was a silence throughout the room, and she wasn’t sure how to read it.

Visions were a gray area. Some came true with vivid detail. Others gave vague warnings. Some never came to pass. And it never seemed to matter whether one tried as hard as possible to keep a vision from happening or not. It simply happened, or it didn’t.

“I would still advise caution,” Master Noor said.

“Agreed,” Master Zhulung affirmed leaning forward in his chair. “It’s clear that your feelings for the Ambassador are strong even if they were what saved you in the vision. Such an attachment is dangerous.” His eyes bore into her, and she felt completely vulnerable as her chest tightened.

Her feelings for Thran…he was her friend. She trusted him with her life. They’d saved each other’s lives and earned each other’s trust and respect. He was a source of comfort and strength because he understood and listened when she struggled. They mutually supported each other toward their goals. She cared about him, and she knew that he cared about her. He was always there for her in ways that the Jedi hadn’t been.

The voice from the vision had called it love…

She wasn’t sure it was wrong, but she didn’t feel love for Thran in any romantic way. She had seen his heart, and what she had seen and felt was his friendship.

She knew they could still forbid her to contact him even now, but they had let Master Ywin use him in her trial to gauge her emotional attachment to him, and she still wasn’t sure how they saw it. She knew that strong feelings could lead one’s emotions to become erratic and make one lose control, but she also knew that Thran would be the first person to call her out if that happened.

She had already made her view known on the topic, and she knew that if the Council wanted to forbid her again from reaching out to him, they would.

“But that is a discussion for another time,” Master Zhulung said, his tone changing. “Now, I believe you should go and prepare yourself. Take a day to meditate and the day after tomorrow,” he paused, “you will be Knighted.”

Rachel looked up at him, not quite believing what she had heard, but the small smile on his wrinkled face confirmed it.

“Congratulations, Rachel,” Master Zev said, smiling.

“Thank you, Masters.”

“May the Force be with you,” Master Zhulung dismissed her.

Rachel walked from the Council Chamber in a daze. She had passed. They had allowed her to pass. She couldn’t believe that it was real and felt lightheaded, unable to keep the smile from her face as the turbolift took her from the Council Chambers to the main levels of the Temple.

She wasn’t sure where to go or what to do. They had given her a day to meditate and prepare, but how did one prepare to be Knighted? Should she ask someone?

Perhaps Matyus could offer some advice. She went in search of him but couldn’t find him anywhere. She tried to raise him on his comm, but there was no answer, and he wondered if he had been given a mission and still hadn’t returned, but then, why didn’t he answer?

Giving up, Rachel went to find Ketrin even though she was likely training her Padawan. After searching the training rooms, Rachel finally tried her comm, but there was a static which indicated that she was off planet. She also must have received a mission from the Council while she was in the meditation.

Opting to go to the dining hall where Izo or Ixenri might be, she passed Master Zev who greeted her warmly.

“Congratulations again, Rachel.”

“Thank you, Master,” she said, bowing respectfully.

“May I ask what you’re doing down here?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “How does one prepare to be Knighted?”

Master Zev looked at her, puzzled. “Master Ywin never explained it to you?”

She shook her head.

“Hmm. That’s odd.” He gestured back the way he had come. “Come, I’ll explain.”

He told her about meditating in the Preparation Chamber located in the Tranquility Spire. “Spend the remainder of today, tonight, and tomorrow in contemplation and meditation. Reflect back on your journey and seek out the Force’s will for your future.”

She nodded, but after having spent the last day in meditation battling her fears, demons, and inner darkness, she wasn’t sure she was ready to go back into mediation.

“You seem hesitant,” Master Zev said.

“I just spent a whole day in meditation,” she admitted. “Now I’m supposed to spend another in meditation?”

He chuckled. “I suppose it does seem like a lot. But the two meditations are very different. Trust me. One is looking back and inward. This will be looking forward and into the Force’s will.”

“What if what I see isn’t good?” she asked.

“How do you mean?”

“What if all I see is more darkness?” The vision of the voice still crept at the corners of her mind.

“I can’t tell you what you will or won’t see,” he explained. “But whatever you see, it is the will of the Force.”

A rather vague response, she reasoned, but she figured he probably didn’t have a definitive answer for her.

They were at the turbolift that led to the Tranquility Spire. “This is where I leave you,” he said with a smile. “Good luck. I’ll see you tomorrow evening.”

Rachel tried to smile back and bowed to him. “Thank you, Master.”

She entered the turbolift and rode it up to the Preparation Chamber.

The Chamber had very few lights, and there were windows looking out across Coruscant, but it was nearly sunset, and light would fade quickly. The only furniture was a few scattered meditation chairs. She made her way to one of the chairs near the windows and sat down, unsure of how to start. Master Zev had made it sound as though Master Ywin was supposed to prepare her for this. But she felt no more prepared for this than for being a Jedi Knight out on her own.

She still had no idea what the galaxy held. There were many planets and species that she still couldn’t name or identify. She was going to be expected to know them and help them. People were going to look to her for wisdom and help. The feeling of uncertainty lodged itself tightly into her chest. Could she do it? When the time came for her to make a ruling on something or when someone asked for her judgment on something, would she be able to?

How was she supposed to meditate on this? All she had were questions. Could the Force really offer her answers?

She shifted her legs under her and sat in a meditative position, her hands resting on her knees. Closing her eyes, she allowed the questions to fill her mind, and they danced in front of her as if taunting her. Taking a few slow breaths, she reached out further, wondering if the Force held any answers or if it was even listening.

Chapter Text

Thran stepped into the Council room, still uncertain why he had been summoned. He hadn’t heard from Rachel yet regarding the outcome of her final trial, which worried him. She had told him that she would contact him. Surrounded by the circle of Jedi Masters, he couldn’t help the feeling that they were looking right into his soul.

He tried to push the unease aside and stood up straight with his hands clasped behind his back, ready for any questions they had for him.

“Ambassador Mitth’ra’nikuru,” the Master in front of him said, Thran identified him as Master Zhulung from his previous visit. “Thank you for responding so quickly to our summons,” he continued. “We have only a few questions for you regarding the report you made.”

Thran nodded.

“The first issue was the presence of your people on Odessen,” a Nautolan Master stated. “Why were they there?”

“What they told me,” he answered, “was that they had been exploring the Outer Rim and were preparing to return to Chiss space, and I have followed up with the Syndicure and Exploration Force, both of whom confirmed this.”

“Why not return home directly?” the Nautolan asked.

“They were having some problems in their mission and had set down there to discuss whether to continue their mission or return home. Beyond that, I am not able to discuss.”

He seemed satisfied with the answer, but a Master behind him spoke up, “Do you believe their presence impacted Padawan Bakandi’s trial?”

Thran turned and recognized the Kiffar. Master Zev, Rachel had told him.

“Their presence did have an impact,” he answered. “Her trial could have gone very differently if they had not been there. She would not have stopped for the night, and likely would have found me sooner and the attack I sustained may not have occurred. But they were also helpful to both of us when Rachel needed rest after how she healed me. If they weren’t there, I am not certain I would have been able to protect her.”

“Yes,” another Master, a Zabrak, began. “Padawan Bakandi stated in her report that you came under attack.”

“How did she know that you were under attack?” Master Ywin asked. This man he knew.

“I cannot explain how she knew,” he answered, uncertain how he was supposed to know. “I was asleep when the creature attacked, and the last thing I remember seeing were its teeth. When I awoke, Ra’chel was kneeling over me, her hands placed on my forehead and chest. She seemed about to come out of a meditation when she collapsed.”

“You have no explanation for this?”

Did they really expect him to? “How can I? I do not feel the Force as you do. I can see only what my eyes allow me to see. Hear only what my ears allow me to hear. And feel only what my hands allow me to feel. You all can do much more with your senses. What Ra’chel can do…” his mind worked to find words to describe her and everything he had seen her do. “I cannot fully explain or understand. And I never shall.”

There was silence for a while. Many continued to study him, while others’ faces were much more difficult to read. Master Ywin stared at him; his eyes narrowed.

“Tell me, Mitth’ra’nikuru,” he said. “You speak about feeling only what you can feel with your hands. What about what you feel in your heart?”

There was silence in the room. None of the other Masters seemed willing to come to his defense. In fact, they all seemed eager to hear his response.

Thran took a careful, slow breath. He knew better than to lie to a room full of Jedi Masters, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t skirt around the bush.

“What I feel in my heart,” he began, “is my own business and ought not to be the concern of others.”

“And if it causes others to be concerned?” Master Ywin pressed.

“And to whom should my heart cause concern?” Thran countered, feeling his defenses rise with his frustration.

“I believe,” the Zabrak Master interjected, “what Master Ywin is trying to say is that he is concerned about the emotional state of his Padawan.”

Master Ywin didn’t say anything, and Thran knew that there was more to this than that. Rachel had told him that the Jedi code forbade emotions and Masters taught their Padawans to suppress them. Their philosophy on attachments as well had gotten her into trouble, and they had forbidden her from contacting him, but Rachel didn’t think that this was right. She had told him her own philosophy on emotions and attachments, and, despite their warnings and mandate, she had continued to remain in contact with him.

“If he is concerned about Ra’chel,” Thran said, still looking at Master Ywin, “then I believe that Ra’chel is who you should be asking these questions.”

“We have asked her,” a Kel Dor Master spoke up. “And she has given us her side of things.”

“What we would like to hear,” Master Ywin said, “is your side.”

“I have told you my side in my report,” Thran said. “There is little to tell.”

“Do you not know that we can see through you?” He remembered Master Sahga from his first visit. Her tone almost sounded amused.

He turned to look at her.

“We can see your heart, young Chiss,” she continued. “Your caring for her. Your friendship with her.” She tilted her head. “And what you wish could be.”

Thran felt his body stiffen as his impulse defenses rose inside him, but he knew that it was useless. They had already pushed past them and seen everything.

His gaze fell to the ground briefly, then he looked out the window behind Master Sahga.

He had hoped to hide it. In his innermost hidden heart, he knew what he felt for Rachel. He knew that the Jedi would forbid it. He knew that the Ascendency would be against it. He wasn’t even sure if Rachel would like it, so he had contented himself with being her friend. He knew that it would never be more than that. It could never be more than that.

“I know,” Thran said quietly, still staring out the window, “that you all would never accept a relationship between Ra’chel and myself. The Ascendency, too, would disapprove.” He started to turn and look at each of them in turn. “But if you can see into my heart, you know that I would never harm Ra’chel. I would never do anything that would cause her to fall away from the Jedi. I brought her to you so that you could train her. I encouraged her when you all almost dismissed her. I reassured her that she was always doing her best. Even when you forbade us to speak, she reached out, and I comforted her and consoled her. I was her friend. I am her friend. And I will be damned before I let you take that away from us.”

His gaze landed squarely on Master Ywin.

There was silence for a few moments, and Thran turned back to Master Zhulung.

“Your feelings are strong,” the Master said, his eyes narrowing. “Your true feelings revealed.”

Thran’s forehead tightened and jaw clenched as his eyes turned again to the floor.

“Surely,” Master Ywin said, “my Padawan has felt your feelings for her.”

It wasn’t a question.

He had let Rachel see into his heart on Odessen. What she had seen, she never truly explained. Our friendship, she had said. He wasn’t sure if that was her interpretation of his feelings, or if she had not searched further into his heart. She was always very adamant about not prying, but Thran had given her his permission to do just that. But he didn’t think that they needed to know that.

“I do not believe that she does,” he said. “Ra’chel does not believe in probing into the hearts of others without their permission. If she knew, I believe she would have spoken about it.”

There was another silence, and Thran wasn’t sure if there was more he should say or if they had more questions he hadn’t anticipated.

They did.

“And if she knew?” Master Ywin asked.

If Rachel knew about his deeper feelings for her…

“That is not something I can answer,” he said. He turned his gaze back to Master Zhulung.

“I believe,” Master Zhulung said, “that unless the Council has any further questions, you are dismissed for now, Ambassador.”

Thran inclined his head to the Grandmaster and turned to walk out of the room.

For now.

Would they summon him back? They didn’t mention the outcome of Rachel’s final trial. If she had failed though, would they care this much about what he felt for her? If she had failed, what would become of her status among the Jedi? With her strength, they surely wouldn’t dismiss her from the Order.

She must have passed, he reasoned. But then, why hadn’t she contacted him to tell him as she said she would?

Master Ywin is concerned about the emotional state of his Padawan.

Had they cut off her communication with him? They hadn’t found the comm he had given her the last time they had done so. Had they this time?

The Jedi escort was waiting near the turbolift to take Thran back to the Temple entrance.

“I do not suppose you know where Ra’chel is?” Thran asked, hoping for some information.

“I am not at liberty to discuss Jedi whereabouts,” he responded shortly.

He was silent the whole walk back to the entrance, and Thran couldn’t help the cold, sinking feeling that had settled into his stomach the further away from the Temple he went.

Upon reaching his apartment, he pulled out his comm and attempted to reach Rachel, but there was no response. He decided to leave the comm on his desk so that he would hear it the instant it went off, then he settled down to finish his report for the Syndicure regarding his new ideas for the Outer Rim.

He was hours into it when his comm beeped, and he scrambled to grab it, hoping to hear Rachel’s voice. Only, it wasn’t that comm that had beeped. It was the comm that the Senate had given him, and it was a summons to meet regarding a new legislation that was being brought to the table.

He sighed. This wasn’t good timing, but he knew Rachel would tell him to attend and listen. Even if the Chiss were not officially involved in Republic politics as of yet, he could learn a lot by sitting in on meetings like this. Perhaps he could even meet with a Senator or two regarding his ideas.

He grabbed the datapad and datacards he had been working on and glanced at the comm he used to contact Rachel, thinking for a moment.

If she called while he was in the meeting, he wouldn’t be permitted to answer it. But that didn’t mean that he couldn’t have it with him so that he could respond the instant the meeting ended.

Scooping it into his pocket, he headed for the door.

Chapter Text

Nothing. She still couldn’t see or hear anything. Was she still doing it wrong?

She reached further, stretching as far as she ever had, not even sure where she was reaching.

“What do I do?” she asked the Force, not sure it would answer to a simple question.

In a blur, images began to appear before her eyes. A group of Younglings, a starship, a young Chiss girl, Master Ywin, an explosion.

“Slow down,” Rachel said to the empty room. “It’s too much. I don’t understand.”

To her surprise, the visions slowed down and became clearer.

The Younglings were in a training room all sitting together and listening to the Master instructing them. She tried to turn and see who it was, but when she turned, she saw older Younglings, or maybe Padawans all with their lightsabers activated and moving through basic movements. The vision blurred and changed to the young Chiss girl. She’d never met her before that she could tell, and yet, she seemed familiar. One of the Sky-walkers? There was something about her eyes though that seemed different, and as she tried to walk closer, the girl vanished, and Master Ywin took her place. He was in what looked like a trial room. There were Jedi Masters surrounding the room, and her Master stood on a raised platform in the middle of the room, and his face was full of rage as he looked at her. She tried to ask what was wrong, but the instant she opened her mouth, an explosion shook the room, and she was surrounded by smoke and fire, and, all around her, people were running and screaming, but there was a man there. He was carrying something. She followed him down to the lower levels of the building, and she heard the snap hiss of a lightsaber igniting before the thing he had been carrying exploded right in front of her in a blinding light. When the smoke finally cleared and she could refocus her eyes, there, on the floor in front of her was Thran. She tried to go to him, but her legs wouldn’t move, and it was only a moment later that she realized that it wasn’t Thran lying there—it was his body. He was dead. The realization froze her blood, and her chest tightened to the point where she could no longer breathe. She couldn’t speak or even find words as her eyes welled up. She heard another loud explosion from behind her and turned to see the remnants of a starship imploding, and the markings that she could see looked Chiss. She turned back and saw that Thran’s body was gone. Only a figure in a dark cloak stood there, his yellow eyes gleaming underneath his hood. She felt the meditation ending when she heard a strange sound, and she tried to hold on to the vision long enough to hear what it was—looking around for the source—and as she opened her eyes, she had it. A baby’s cry.

For a long time, Rachel sat on the meditation chair without moving and simply stared at the far wall, seeing the first hints of sunrise through the windows. What in the world had she just seen?

The images were clear enough as she played them back, even adding Jedi memory enhancement techniques. But what did it all mean? What was the Force telling her?

She was supposed to be being Knighted after this. Was she allowed to ask for clarity on these visions, or was she supposed to figure them out on her own?

She began sorting through the visions and separating them into parts. They couldn’t have all been one incident, right? This meditation was supposed to be the Force telling her where she belonged in the galaxy—what her future as a Knight would look like. But right now, she wasn’t sure she liked what she saw.

The group of Younglings and Padawans. That was an easy start. Perhaps the Force was telling her to teach. But would the Council allow her to? Sure, she was good with a lightsaber, but she didn’t always agree with the Council on everything they taught. But maybe it would be a way for her to teach the next group of Younglings the things she had learned that the Masters didn’t usually teach.

The next image had been a young Chiss girl. She had seemed familiar even though she wasn’t sure she had met her before. She had never met the Sky-walkers, but she knew them, but there had been something about her eyes. She closed her eyes to bring back that part of the vision and focused on the girl’s eyes. They were almost brown, but still glowed red which didn’t seem normal for a Chiss.

Unsure of what that was supposed to mean, she went on to the next image: Master Ywin in the trial room. His face was twisted with anger, and it looked like it was directed at her. What she could have done to make him that angry, she couldn’t guess.

Then the explosions had come. The first with that man and Thran’s body lying dead on the ground, and then the imploding Chiss ship and the cloaked figure.

No, they had to be separate. But were all four separate, or did Thran’s body go with one of them?

She couldn’t bear it. The thought of Thran dying at all made her chest ache.

The alien makes you weak.

The voice from her last meditation still echoed in her mind. Was the Force warning her? Jedi weren’t supposed to form attachments. The fear of losing that to which one was attached was the path to the darkside. That was the discrepancy though, she knew. There was having an attachment, and there was being afraid to lose that to which one has become attached.

But she wasn’t sure she wasn’t afraid to lose Thran. This vision certainly showed her that. It must have been a warning. She needed to prepare herself for if or whenever she lost Thran and then hope that that day never came.

The figure had looked the same as the one from her previous meditation, and it almost confirmed that it was something from the future. But what?

The most puzzling part of the vision was the last part. She had heard a baby crying. Whatever that meant, she knew that she would be able to deal with it when the time came.

While her confidence was still lacking, she felt a little bit better about the visions as a whole and felt slightly more prepared for the Knighting Ceremony. However, there still was a good deal of apprehension and still many questions.

Not sure what more she could meditate on, she decided to leave and try to sleep if she could.

Upon descending from the Tranquility Spire, Rachel noted that the sun was now high in the sky, and it appeared to be just before noon.

She had begun to walk towards her room when she saw Master Zev.

“Aren’t you supposed to be meditating?” he asked.

“I don’t know what else I can learn through meditation,” she explained. “I saw things and tried to figure them out, but, right now, I just want to sleep if I can.”

“Ah,” he said. “What did you learn?”

“To be honest,” she said, shrugging her shoulders, “I’m not entirely sure. There were a lot of things that came to me, and it was really jumbled together.”

“Hmm. One thing to remember when seeing visions, as said before, be careful. They are not always what they seem.”

“I know.” Though, the way she saw it, almost every vision she had had had been correct and accurate. Would these ones be as well?

“Well,” Master Zev interrupted her thoughts. “Get some sleep, and I’ll come get you in the morning for the ceremony.”

She continued to her room, and almost the instant she lied down, she fell asleep.

The following morning, Master Zev knocked on her door and led her back towards the Tranquility Spire. They went up the turbolift towards the very top.

“One thing,” Master Zev said, and pointed to where she hid her Padawan braid behind her hair. “You might want to have that more visible for this.”

She pulled the braid in front of her shoulder. She’d always tried to keep it hidden, but after all these years, she wouldn’t have to anymore. All the looks of disdain and contempt wouldn’t follow her wherever she went. She would be a Jedi Knight.

The turbolift door opened, and in front of her were doors very similar to those of the Jedi Council room.

“Ready?” Master Zev asked.

“As I’ll ever be,” she answered.

The doors opened, and the room looked very similar to the Council chamber if it was square and had no windows and only a small light in each corner of the room. It had no chairs, and Master Zhulung was the first Master she saw upon entering. Their seating—or standing—arrangement was different here.

Master Zev turned and went to an empty spot as Master Zhulung spoke.

“Padawan Rachel Bakandi,” he said. “Welcome.”

He turned his head and acknowledged the rest of the Masters in the room as the doors behind her closed, leaving them in near darkness.

“We here are all Jedi,” he began as if reciting from an old script. “The Force itself speaks through us, and through our actions, the Force tells us what it is and what is truth. Today, we gather to acknowledge what truth the Force has shown us.”

He gestured, and Rachel kneeled.

He ignited his lightsaber, and all around her, all the Masters did the same, lighting up the dark room with the various shades of blue, green, and yellow.

“By right of this Council,” Master Zhulung continued, “and the will of the Force, I dub thee, Rachel Bakandi, Jedi Knight of the Republic.”

With that he lifted his saber over both of her shoulders before severing her Padawan braid. She watched the strand of braided hair fall to the floor in front of her, and a strange mixture of feelings washed through her, but she let them pass. They wouldn’t serve her here. She could revisit them later if they were still relevant.

“Rise, Jedi Knight Bakandi,” Master Zhulung’s voice cut through her thoughts. “Go forward into your service, and may—”

Rachel felt it at that instant as well. Everyone in the room turned to look in the direction where they had heard many voices scream through the Force.

Master Zhulung turned back to Rachel who had risen to her feet.

“That came from the Senate building,” Master Sahga said, her eyes unfocused.

“If the Chancellor wishes it,” Master Zhulung cut her off, “we shall go and look into it.” He closed down his lightsaber, still looking at Rachel.

“Me as well?” she asked.

“You are now a Jedi Knight,” he said. “Such assignments will fall on you. You will come with us along with other Knights, and we will investigate.”

“Be ready,” Master Sahga said. “If the Chancellor calls us, we will leave at once.”

***END BOOK 2: PADAWAN ***