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"Gojo-sensei?"
"oh Yuji, what's up?"
Yuji entered the hall and walked towards Gojo. he was sitting there, with no lights on, and had his phone in his hand as if he was listening or talking to someone? Yuji wasn't sure. "nothing in particular just wanted to see where you are... i mean, Shoko-san was looking for you, and Meki said you're not in your office."
Gojo leaned his head back and stared out the window "what i can't have some time for my own?"
Yuji stopped. he thought Gojo looked the same, talking with his usual smile, probably came here to train by himself, it's only 2 days left till December 24 after all. but something was off. his voice was different again. a voice he couldn't recognize.
"are you okay sensei?"
"of course i am,"
and silence. Gojo wasn't even looking and Yuji had nothing to say. many things had changed since the last time they met, and there was always a third person present, be it Megumi or Nanami, and even if they were alone, it was for training and just that. he was thinking about these when Gojo spoke.
"you know Yuji, Megumi doesn't laugh that much,"
"sensei?"
Gojo chuckled, short and brief, and seemed painfully bitter "i always had to try so hard to make him laugh. always ended up seeing him frowning"
Yuji stood still, staring at the man and not sure what to do. he knew it was one of those times that he shouldn't talk, and to be fair, he didn't even know what he could say.
"don't take it the wrong way Yuji, Megumi smiles, always appreciating the things i did, showing his thankful face. but the sound of his laugh? oh Yuji, you have no idea" Gojo turned his head more to the window. made Yuji think that he doesn't want to see anyone at all "it was one of those special things, his laugh. those you knew it's not gonna happen all the time"
has he ever heard Megumi's laugh? Yuji thought. he remembered seeing him smile, even his soft eyes, the kindness in them, which even them appeared after—
"once we went to buy ice-cream... or well, i did actually, Megumi was accompanying me as always" Gojo paused for a second as if he needed to take a breath at the world «always»
"i don't know apparently i wasn't careful and my nose had some ice-cream on it. Megumi didn't say a word! he let us wander around all night with my face like that, and when i found out, he suddenly looked at me and laughed. out of nowhere. and all i could do was stare..."
Yuji said nothing. as if even he had forgotten to breathe. the day they were planning for December 24, Gojo was calm. too calm. to the point that Yuji thought maybe Gojo doesn't care about all the things that had happened so far.
but now he realized.
that Megumi's absence affected who the most.
that Satoru Gojo doesn't have his most precious person by his side.
Yuji heard a shaky breath.
"Megumi laughed and i thought what can i do to make him happy this way again. was it always this easy?" he pused briefly, letting out a sad smile "as if i just realized how does it feel to truly be happy"
Yuji didn't even realize that he has a lump in his throat. what should he do? what would be the best? if Megumi was there, only if he was there, he definitely knew what should they need to do. no one knew Gojo more than him.
"i promised myself that day, to make him laugh more, to make us happy, to take care of him at all cost, and now i'm here. alone. left behind... ironic isn't it? even for his birthday i couldn't—"
and nothing. Gojo suddenly fell silent. as if he realized he was talking too much. he continued gazing at the sky through the window, and Yuji stared at his face under the moonlight, wondering if he could look more tired than this. somewhere in those endless fights in the culling game, on a cold and long night, Megumi said things similar to what he had just now. feeling down, tired, talking about how he failed to save Gojo, how he's not strong enough to protect Tsumiki, and Yuji didn't know what to say. only one person knew. so he remained silent.
"get some rest sensei..."
the same as back then, nothing would've helped. there were just no words. Yuji could feel it in his bones that how useless his presence was right now. how useless the whole world was to them. Gojo needed only one person the way that person needed him, and Megumi wasn't there. after all, Gojo Satoru has his own weaknesses, and for him, it's been long since it was a boy named Megumi, who had his soft eyes locked on him, as if he was saying "i'll follow you till the very end" but only when Gojo wasn't looking back at him. Yuji thought as he was leaving the hall.