Chapter Text
Currently, Douman was having a dream of his past. “Hey Suzaku?” Douman asked. “I’ve always wondered. Is being a god better than being a human?”
“Not remotely!” Suzaku answered. “In fact, being a god might be even worse. I’m not immune to death, for one thing. Though the real problem is how strict everyone is. Then again, being too strict isn’t a problem humans are immune to either. But you won’t stop being human just for committing a crime. With gods, you may very well lose everything just for one mistake.”
“I mean, sure you’re still technically a human if you commit a crime. But nobody will treat you like one.” Douman pointed out. “Also, can’t humans become ayakashi if they sin? Sin is basically a crime against the gods, right?”
“Suppose that’s one way of seeing it. Honestly, I don’t really see the point in it. They’ll get punished still upon their deaths, so why not keep them humans? I guess that’s what happens if you live in a world that’s impossible to take seriously.”
Douman woke up from his dream, sighing. “Suzaku…” What ever happened to “not seeing the point in it?” Though even nowadays he still doesn’t take the world seriously. Now I’m carrying his child. He got up and went to his bathroom, still in deep contemplation even on the toilet. Ranmaru really is one of the most frustrating people I’ve ever met. To think I’m actually in love with someone like that.
Meanwhile, with Ranmaru, he was on his way to visit Acchan. “He’ll be so happy to see me!” By the time he got to Hyakki Academy, though, Acchan wasn’t in his office. “...Eh? Where’s my beloved Acchan?! He’s working today, right?! So he must be around somewhere! Hm, maybe my Acchan is in the teacher’s lounge? He flew over there, walking in only to see no Acchan. However, while he was there he took the time to snag Hatanaka’s wallet. Hehe, poor guy won’t know what hit ‘em! He exited the hallway, taking money from outta the wallet.
“Captain, you can’t be here!” Ten scolded.
“...Am I not allowed to visit my beloved Acchan?! Especially when I’m carrying his baby?!” Ranmaru exclaimed. Why’s he being so mean to me?! “On top of that, he’s carrying MY baby, so I have double the right to visit!”
“But it’s during school hours! Can you at least wait till he’s off work?!” Ten exclaimed back.
“I wanna visit him now!” Ranmaru insisted. He’s being really, really selfish! “He wasn’t even in his office earlier!”
“...Hey, you! Trespasser!” Hatanaka exclaimed. “I’m calling the cops!”
Not the fun police! “Angry because your boss is all mine?” Ranmaru teased. “Upset that you’re hated by everyone around you?” Wait. Doesn’t this guy have a wife…? Ibara, I think? “Oh wait, aren’t you married to Ibara? Funny, I used to be her teacher, but I guess I couldn’t teach her not to have terrible taste!” Got’em. “Oh by the way, I took your wallet.” He waved it in front of Hatanaka. “I’m sure you’re wanting this back, riiiiight?”
Hatanaka was absolutely furious. “I don’t think he’d appreciate you stealing stuff. But, the principal and you have been having a fling? A little rendezvous? An affair?”
“Affair isn’t the word I’d use, buuuut I have been having lots of fun with Acchan!”
“You’re the principal’s boyfriend?!” Seimei-er…Haruaki, exclaimed. “I knew that you were fond of him, but I didn’t realize you were…” Clearly contemplating something, Haruaki exited the teacher’s lounge. “I mean, you wouldn’t hang out at the festival with someone you hate, right? That’d be stupid!”
“Where’s my Acchan?!” Ranmaru begged. “I need him!”
“Ok, ok geez. He’s at the doctor.” Haruaki answered.
“That’s so boring! Acchan doesn’t even care about your health! What’s he want with your fuck buddy, anyway? Guy’s nuts!”
“H-Huh?! Takahashi and I aren’t doing anything like that! Though he is quite nuts. Still though, you want your ‘Acchan’ to be healthy, right?”
“Hm, I’d like him to be at least! Even if he doesn’t really care about his health! But I’ll go visit my Acchan, he’d love to see me!”
Meanwhile, Douman was impatiently waiting for Ranmaru. “Where the hell is he?! Didn’t I say we were going to have this appointment together?!”
“Oh, is Karasuma running late again?” Takahashi asked. “I’ll try calling him.”
As if on cue, Ranmaru entered the room. “Acchan! There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”
I literally said where I was going to be. “Come, take a seat.” Douman insisted. “You’re late.”
“Late for what?” Ranmaru asked. “Oh, wait, that was today? So sorry about that, Acchan!”
Douman grumbled. “Yeah, yeah.” For someone so smart, he sure is terrible with his schedule. In fact, Ranmaru isn’t that great at a lot of things. Could he really care for a kid? “Anyways, the…life within me seems to be doing…alright.” Then again it was like that when I was pregnant with Seimei’s baby. “I’ve been eating well, and I’ve gotten rid of the alcohol in my house so I’m not tempted to drink it. I’m still worried something might happen, though.”
Ranmaru put a hand on Douman’s shoulder. “This baby was made with our love, Acchan! I’m sure that they’ll make it.” He gave Douman a warm smile. “Even if they don’t, I’ll still be there for you, like I always have been, and always will be.”
Acting rather sappy all of a sudden. “Rather weird hearing that coming from you, Ranmaru.” I know he’s trying to make me feel better, but all the hope in the world cannot change reality. Still though, he has been by my side, even though I might not be particularly worth keeping around. But he did give up everything for me. Sure, Ranmaru never really liked being a god. But, it was a stable life. He always had a place to stay and food on the table. As Ran is now, well…his life could easily fall apart from one mistake. Is the freedom of being a youkai really worth it? If it were only for me, then he could’ve easily just died and had a new Suzaku take his place.
“Something on your mind, Acchan?” Ranmaru asked. “Surprised on how genuine I’m being for once?” He booped Douman’s nose. “Being a liar really isn’t called for, no?”
“I-I guess not.” Douman answered. “You’re not really the type to express your feelings so openly, so I kinda got caught off guard.”
“Well, I can’t have my Acchan be sad, right? Oh, by the way.” Ranmaru took out a ring. “Will you marry me, Acchan?” His eyes shone with hope and love. “I’ve been wanting to ask that for a long time now!”
He wants to…marry me?! Me, of all people?! “Eh? Are you pranking me right now? You’re pranking me, aren’t you? That ring is rather cheap, too. My cheeks feel hot already,...” But uh…if you really wanna get married, then…”
“Of course I do, I love you Acchan!”
Did he become a youkai…because he’s in love with me? No, that can’t be right. I’ll play along like he actually means it, though. “Very well, I accept your proposal.” Maybe Ranmaru will say “just kidding” later. He’s totally just trying to mess with me, right? I’m not really a good candidate for marriage, anyway. This little game of ours is getting outta hand. “I love you too, Ranmaru.” Agh, why did I say that?! It’s not like I don’t, but!
Ranmaru slipped the ring onto Douman’s finger then pulled him into a hug. “It’s hard to tell quite what you’re thinking, even with your mask off. But I know what’s in your heart. Surely if you truly hated me, you wouldn’t keep coming back. I guess we both lost our little game, huh? Since we’ve stopped pretending.”
“Well, the game wasn’t even real from the beginning. Can’t pretend to like each other if we…actually like each other. Honesty just isn’t really your thing, though. Kinda a weakness of yours.”
“Hehe, like gambling and drinking are two of yours?”
“Went right for the throat, huh? May I remind you that you’ve ran out of money several times, with me having to bail you out?”
“Excuse me, we’re in the middle of an appointment.” Takahashi reminded them. “Save your couple fights for somewhere else.”
Kinda weird to see Takahashi being so serious for once. “So um…we’re gonna do an ultrasound, right? Since I’m about 12 weeks along?”
Takahashi nodded. “You made sure to drink enough water before the appointment, right?” Takahashi asked.
Douman sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Since it’d be harder to see without a full bladder, I gotcha. Let's get this over with.” This is such a pain. After the preparations were complete, Douman found himself on a table with his shirt lifted up exposing his bare belly. He flinched when the gel was about to be applied.
“Don’t worry, the gel is warmed up.” The technician reassured him. Sure enough, the gel was warm. Putting the wand thingy on his abdomen (Douman had no idea what it’s actual name was) he felt mild pressure as it moved around. Eventually, he saw his uterus and ovaries, and more importantly, the growing life within it.
“Don’t think I’ll ever get used to being able to see my own insides.” Douman admitted. “But that’s the fetus, huh? I’m actually helping that grow.” Does it look…normal, though? I mean, if that’s going to grow into a baby, I’d want it to look healthy. “How’s it looking?’
“Looks like it’s growing well.” The technician answered. After what felt like ages, he was finally allowed to get up, and given paper towels to wipe off the gel.
“Where’s the nearest bathroom?” Douman asked. A nurse led him to the restroom. He did his business, and washed his hands. While walking out of the bathroom, he bumped into Ranmaru. “Hm? If you needed to go too, it’s not like there aren’t other bathrooms-”
Ranmaru shook his head. “I just wanted to see you, Acchan!” He grabbed Douman’s arm. “Is wanting to see my fiancé so wrong?
He’s not normally this clingy…hormones getting to him? “Well, no. It really isn’t, but I really should get back to work-”
Ranmaru looked at him with pleading eyes. “But Acchan! Stress is bad for the baby! You don’t wanna damage our kid before they’re even born, right?!”
Things do have a tendency to go wrong at Hyakki Academy. But I really don’t trust anyone else with my work. “Who will manage the school in my absence?”
“You do have a point...you’ve never taken a day off, not even before you officially made the school.”
Even back when I was human, I never took time off. “Yeah, guess not, but I’m certainly not starting now.”
“Can you at least warn them that you’re pregnant?”
“Hm, that’ll bring up more questions then I’m willing to answer.”
You really are such a stubborn idiot sometimes! He grabbed Acchan’s arm. “Plwease, Acchan? Take some time off?” Ranmaru begged. I really want him to pamper me. He can’t do that if he’s spending all day at work! Also, my Acchan definitely needs some pampering, too!
“Do you just want me to pamper you or something?” Acchan asked, narrowing his eyes. “I suppose I’ll let you come with me while I’m at work.”
Yay! “Just try to take it easy, okay? I’ll be sure to beat up those who give you any trouble!” With that, both of them slipped into Acchan’s office. Ranmaru began clutching his stomach. “Agh, I think I’m about to puke…” Going through space time like that never really did his body any favors.Taking deep breaths, he managed to calm his nausea. Ranmaru stared at Acchan expectantly. I want him to pet me!
“I can’t just read your mind, you know.” Acchan pointed out. He handed Ranmaru pillows and some blankets. Ranmaru took them, but he bowed his head towards Acchan trying to indicate he wanted pets. A confused Acchan took it for a greeting bow and bowed back. “Not really like you to show respect for someone else’s space and authority.” He noted. Ranmaru wasn’t sure whether to correct Acchan or just accept that he saw it as a bow. Though it wasn’t like Acchan wasn’t also pettable. Oh, they could easily just pet each other! Ranmaru began stroking Acchan’s head. This confused him at first, but after a few moments he grasped what was going on and began petting Ran. They stood there for a few moments, just showing each other affection.
“Oh Acchan~” Ranmaru cooed. “How ever do you keep your hands so soft like that?” He complimented. Unfortunately, they couldn’t continue petting like this forever, after all Acchan had work to do! While Acchan worked, Ranmaru snuggled himself up with the blankets and pillows that he was given by his love. Acchan eventually ended up falling asleep, so Ranmaru walked over and carried him in the pile of blankets, falling asleep as well.
Douman woke up a little confused. “Wasn’t I at my desk earlier?” He asked himself. Noticing his bladder must’ve filled while he was sleeping, he exited the pile of blankets and pillows. What time is it…? Only to feel the sensation of being yanked back into said pile.
“No, stay here with me Acchan!” Ranmaru insisted. “I wanna cuddle more!”
Douman gave him a small shove. “I can’t exactly pee with you clinging to me like that.”
“You’re so mean, Acchan! What about our future children?” Ranmaru sobbed.
“Well unless you want me to piss all over the blankets and pillows, you will at least let me go to the bathroom.” He walked to his personal bathroom, shaking his head. Yup, definitely hormonal. While he was busy doing his business there was a knock on the door. Don’t say anything Ranmaru!
“Sorry, Acchan’s on the toilet right now!” Ranmaru called. “You’ll have to wait till he’s done! Though it just seems to be pee, so it shouldn’t take too long!”
Douman felt his face redden. I’d rather have pretended I just wasn’t here. But being polite enough to actually knock. The only ones who would know about my “illness” are the teachers. I’m sure all of them have at least some concern, but the ones who would be the most worried are Haruaki, Hatanaka, and Miki. Hatanaka would just barge in, Haruaki would announce that he’s coming in but not knock, so that only leaves Miki. He finished up, washed his hands and dried them, then went over to the door, answering it. “What do you want, Miki?”
“Huh? How’d you know it was me?” Miki asked.
“Basic deduction skills.” Douman answered. “Don’t mind the bird squawking over there. He’s insisting on nesting in my office, very annoying.”
“Well that’s troublesome! But, anyway I was wondering if you were doing okay. Haruaki told me you went to the doctor earlier. On top of that, Hatanaka tried to confront an intruder, that captain of the Karasu Tengu Troupe who kidnapped him in fact! But he ended up flying off before any of us were able to capture him.” Miki explained. “Though I’m not sure why a bird would nest in your office. Seems kinda too hectic of a place, the eggs or chicks might get damaged. On top of that, if a snake youkai sniffs out the nest, that'll cause big trouble! Also, birds carry diseases!”
Douman didn’t feel like correcting Miki. “Yeah, I know. I’m fine, don’t worry too much about me. Though I did end up taking a nap…”
“A bird trying to nest in your office and an intruder loose in the school…” Miki sighed. “On top of that you’re pregnant-” He immediately put his hands over his mouth.
“Where did you hear such a weird rumor? It’s not like it would be impossible, but I’m not pregnant.” Douman lied. “I mean, I’m not so irresponsible as to have a baby out of wedlock! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to catch up on the work I missed during my nap!” Don’t you have places to be?! He gave Miki a bow and quickly shut the door.
“Kinda rude to slam the door in his face like that! You know what’s also rude? Not cuddling with me.” Ranmaru beckoned him, and he happily flopped into the pillows and blankets. He heard his phone buzz, somebody texted him but he really didn’t feel like going to go get it.
“...You gotta be kidding.” Douman sighed. “Please don’t tell me it’s Haruaki. Ranmaru, get that for me will you?”
“But it’s your phone, Acchan!” Ranmaru pointed out. Just then, he heard the sound of his door opening.
“Did Miki get Hatanaka because he was mad at me for slamming the door on him?” Douman wondered, but instead he was greeted by the sight of Mikoto. The very guy he considered an honorary son. It was a bit embarrassing to be seen cuddled up next to Ranmaru like this, but it isn’t like the boy wasn’t aware of the true nature of their relationship. “Hello, Mikoto.”
“Hello…Father. I see you’re with…the Captain.” Mikoto greeted him. “Wait, is that a ring on your finger?”
“Yeah, Ranmaru over here insisted we get married.” Douman answered. “Guess he’s your dad now.”
“Huh?! Even after what he did, you’re going to MARRY him?!” Mikoto exclaimed. “Are you crazy?!”
“Yeah, maybe.” Douman shrugged. “He’s a bit iffy sometimes, but it’s not like I haven’t gotten up to iffy things myself.” Getting up to “iffy things” is what got me into this mess in the first place. Not like I haven’t had iffy things done to me before either. The very events that led to my first pregnancy are proof of that. “Better than me giving birth outta wedlock, though.”
“I…guess…?” Mikoto shrugged. “Though he’d definitely make a terrible husband.”
“Yeah, but it's better than nothing.” Douman added. Not like I’d make a good husband either. “Just because he’s awful in every way doesn’t mean I’m gonna abandon him.”
“I mean, he’s got a handsome face and all, but his habits are insufferable. But he is carrying my baby, sooooo it’d be better to keep him around.”
Mikoto sighed. “Yeah whatever. Keep saying that you two hate each other.” Without another word, Mikoto left.
“Acchan…I’m hungry.” Ranmaru admitted. “When’s lunch?”
“Hmm, I should probably eat too..” Douman noted, feeling his stomach growl in response. “I do remember to pack a lunch for myself every morning, so I don’t end up needing to go down to the cafeteria. Can’t exactly eat with my mask on. But there’s only enough for me. Afraid you’re just going to have to try foraging for your own food.”
“But what if I get injured?!” Ranmaru whined. “I don’t wanna risk my baby!”
“It was a joke, Ranmaru.” Douman sighed. “Unless you’re planning on killing a wild animal or diving straight into a thorny bush, you’ll be fine, and by extension, the egg growing within you. Or, you could just pop by a convenience store and get something there.” Why’d I let him into my office…? He walked over to his mini-fridge, grabbing a drink and getting his bento which was resting on top of it. Before he could go over to his desk to eat, though, Ranmaru ran up to him and tried to rip the can right out of his hand.
“What the hell, Acchan?!” Ranmaru exclaimed. “I thought you said you WEREN’T going to have anything to drink!”
“...This is fruit juice.” He corrected him. “Am I not allowed to drink fruit juice?” Sitting down at his desk, Douman began eating his lunch. However, Ranmaru kept trying to sneak bites of it. “No.”
“Acchan, you’re such a meanie!” Ranmaru sobbed. “You’re starving me!”
“Didn’t I tell you to get your own food?!” Douman yelled. “I need to eat too, ya know!”
“Wahhh, Acchan hates me!” With that last proclamation, Ranmaru flew off.