Chapter Text
As much as it pained him to delay his reunion with his partner, Felix had another part of the job to do.
The people who’d brought him back had happily given him a file on Lavernius Tucker, who had wandered his way back to Earth, and somehow ended up in Iowa, of all places. Felix sighed. He hated small towns. They were just so boring, and it was so hard to get away with murder in a place where everyone knew each other’s names.
Oh well. He was pretty sure that he’d be the talk of the town for years to come when he kicked Tucker’s severed head down Main Street. This seemed like it would be a town that would have a Main Street.
He had an address for Tucker; he’d rented a motel room for six months. He’d been spotted in the town. He was working at the local coffee shop, which made Felix laugh.
Tucker and his alien spawn were staying in a cheap motel just off the highway, so Felix went in with his best charming smile and a story about looking up an old war buddy, and the little old lady behind the counter ate it up.
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I’m afraid Mr. Tucker doesn’t spend much time here these days. He mostly stays at the farm east of town; he’s friends with the family. It’s the one with the willow trees lining the drive way and the pink house—you can’t miss it!”
Felix whistled to himself as he went back to his car and started heading east. He was going to enjoy this.
Mitch was feeding the horses in the pen in the pen closest to the road, when she spotted an unknown car pull up. She frowned, especially when she realized the top was down, and it was only a strange man. Kai came and went as she pleased, and often got various people to give her lifts back, but a stranger coming to the farm was… well, it was worrying. Especially given who exactly were her various guests.
He was pretty in a pointy, sharp way, with a wide, smug grin that made Mitch nervous.
She ran her mind through all of the others, and where they were. Tucker and Junior were in the house, having another discussion about school, Doc and Donut were at their patch, the rest of the reds were in the barn, Lopez was working on the tractor again, Wash and Caboose were trying to round up the escaped sheep, Martha and Carolina weren’t due for a while yet, the kids were at school, and Andi was inside.
Mitch slipped her voice into her best drawl, and waved down the stranger, who stopped the car, smiling widely at her, as if they were old friends.
“Can I help you?”
“Hey there!” He leaned against the door of his car. “I’m an old war buddy of Tucker’s. I was in the area, and I heard he was here!”
What do you want with him? Mitch didn’t ask. She knew what kind of callouses were on the man’s fingers—she had them too. Throwing knives. And if he wasn’t carrying a gun, she’d eat nothing but Caboose’s cooking for the rest of the week.
“Sure is!” She said instead, smiling. “Why don’t you drive on up to the house? What’s your name?”
His smile widened, if that was possible.
“Felix,” he said, and if she hadn’t known he’d be watching for a reaction, she probably would have tripped.
Wash didn’t like to tell stories about his time before Chorus, but Chorus was free game. She knew all about Felix and Locus and the purge and the rest of it.
She kept smiling. “I don’t think Tucker’s mentioned you,” she lied, walking alongside the car to the garage. She was grateful for her baggy overalls and heavy gloves—they projected a perfectly harmless image to someone like Felix, who didn’t think about the muscles that came with tossing hay bales or hoeing peas, and certainly wouldn’t suspect that a farmer from Iowa would know how to throw knives.
Or that she would be married to a paranoid Freelancer pilot. That thought kept the smile on Mitch’s face.
“Babe! I’m home!” She called, pushing open the front door, Felix trailing behind her. It went against every instinct she had to turn her back to Felix, but he wouldn’t attack her now, she was fairly sure. She would lead him to Tucker. “And we’ve got company!”
“I’m in the kitchen!” Andi yelled, and Mitch grinned, heading through the living room towards her wife.
She kissed Andi on the cheek. “Babe, this is Felix. He’s a friend of Tucker’s!”
Andi, despite all her grumbling, paid very close attention to Wash and Carolina’s stories.
“Uh-huh,” Andi said, rolling her chair closer to the table. Which would seem innocuous to anyone who hadn’t had at least three fights with her about the ridiculousness of keeping a shotgun on the underside ‘just in case’.
Mitch was really glad that she’d lost that fight. “I need to go wash my hands,” she said, still smiling at Felix. “Be right back!”
Of course, inside the small bathroom off the entry way were Wash’s spare knives. Mitch grabbed them, tucking most of them away but palming one.
“So, what’s your name?” She heard Felix ask.
“I usually go by Niner,” Andi said.
“Niner? What’s that short for?”
“My call sign. Four Seven Niner of Project Freelancer. Of course, my name’s Andromeda Caboose. My wife calls me Andi though.”
“Caboose?” Felix repeated, stunned.
“We’re a very large family,” Andi said, and Mitch just knew she was smirking. “And my little brother’s told me so much about you, Felix.”
Boom. The shotgun went off.
“Get out of my house, you genocidal maniac!” Andi shouted. Mitch beamed. She loved that woman. She darted out of the bathroom in time to spot Felix ducking down behind the counter that separated the kitchen from eating area, and threw the knife.
Felix yelped as he barely dodged it, then turned his gaze to her.
Where before he had been pleasant and even charming, now Mitch could see the guy who’d been willing to kill an entire planet for a paycheck.
“You know,” he snarled. “I am really tired of other people throwing knives at me.”
Mitch dodged into the kitchen before he could charge her, Andi letting off another shot, forcing him to stay down. Mitch grabbed the radio, and yelled, “Tucker! Go to Martha’s place, now!”
Suddenly, she yelped as the steel of her knife was held against her throat. “Drop that gun, now,” Felix snapped to Andi. “Or otherwise I’ll have to kill your pretty wife.”
“I am going to feed your corpse into the wood chipper and then scatter the pieces on my crop duster!” Andi was spitting mad, even though she knew what was going to happen next.
Mitch readied her other knife. She hoped she got an artery.
She moved her hand hard, stabbing Felix in the leg. He yelped, and Mitch twisted, while Andi grabbed the pistol she always kept in the holster on her chair, and shot, grazing Felix’s face, leaving a large cut across his cheek. Felix managed to roll into the living room, and Mitch cursed, rubbing her neck. They were going to have to remodel after this—bullet holes were starting to cover the walls.
Donut tumbled down the staircase, carrying the gun in his hands. “Well, hi Felix!” He chirped. “Long time no see!”
Felix’s face twisted. “You—”
That was, of course, when the sound of polka music began to blast through the house.
“Get down!” Andi shoved Mitch to the ground, and just in time, because—and Mitch was going to kill them for this later—Grif had just driven the tractor into the side of the house. Leaving a very large hole in the wall, and completely destroying the porch.
“We have a door!” Mitch shouted, but her cries went unheeded as the Reds all leapt off the tractor, armed with every single weapon she’d told them they weren’t allowed to bring into the house, including Doc with his fucking rocket launcher.
Mitch rarely understood Wash’s animosity towards their brother-in-law, but in that moment, she sympathized.
Felix had some sort of energy shield, even if he didn’t have his armor, and threw the sofa at the Reds.
Then the door to the garage opened, and Martha, Caboose, Wash, and Carolina all stormed in, also armed.
“I don’t know what you’re hoping to accomplish here, Felix,” Wash said, stepping forward. “But you made a huge mistake.”
That was when the actual front door opened and someone in actual armor, carrying an honest-to-god sword charged in. “Felix!” He went right for Felix, who tried to shoot him, but his aim was thrown off by Mitch sinking a knife into his arm.
“Fuck!” He doubled over, stumbling to the side, closer to the reds. “I guess I’ll have to come back later. Catch you later, partner!”
A smoke bomb went off, and when it cleared, Felix was gone.
“What the hell are you doing here Locus?” Wash demanded.
Locus. Mitch’s blood turned cold.
Locus lowered the sword, and looked right at Wash. There was a long pause.
“I need your help, Agent Washington.”
The story came out—resurrection, alien children, a little girl name Charlie whose existence Wash was reluctant to accept. But in the end, Locus convinced them to help him go after Felix.
Wash hugged her tightly before they left. “Be safe. We’ll be home soon,” he said.
Mitch couldn’t help but remember the last time Wash had left to go fight.
It had been a very long time before he’d come back.
She just hoped that the others would make him more punctual.
“Well,” Martha said, when they were all gone, and they’d finished panicking over Junior sneaking away with them. “I guess we fix that wall?”
Mitch groaned.
Remodeling the house was finished before the Reds and Blues got home. Shannon and Joel were disappointed that they’d missed all the excitement of Felix’s attack, and sulked that Junior had gotten to go with—never mind that he was going to be grounded for life when he got back.
Weeks went by. They received a message from Carolina, letting them know that they were all fine, that things were taken care of, but they were stopping at Chorus to deal with some things.
What, exactly, wasn’t said. None of them pressed.
Finally, after Mitch had finally given in and weeded Doc’s toxic cabbage patch, after the tractor had broken down three times without Lopez’s maintenance, and after Andi had actually admitted outloud that she missed them, they finally came home.
And Carolina had an armful of Sanghelli.
“Her name is Charlie,” Wash said. Mitch quickly searched him over for new scars, and he looked alright. She let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding, and then turned her eyes to the others. Everyone was alright. It was good to see.
Mitch then turned her attention to the small girl, who was clinging to Carolina in a way that most five year olds would hate to admit they wanted to do. She had gotten pretty good at reading alien expressions of the years of spending time with Junior. The kid looked miserable and exhausted, and Mitch’s heart went out to her.
Locus hadn’t come back with them. He was probably dead, or in prison, or maybe he had ran.
It didn’t matter right now.
“Hey there,” Mitch said, doing her best kid smile. “I’m Mitch; this is my house. Are you hungry?” The kid hesitated, then nodded, slowly. “My wife Andi is baking cookies. Why don’t you come on in?”
Carolina let Charlie down, and Mitch offered the kid her hand. Solemnly, Charlie took it, and they led the way into the house.
They painted Simmons’ old room green for Charlie, who seemed to be happy enough, but Sarge reported nightmares, and the kid was scared of the geese that lived the level below.
(Not that Mitch blamed her. Those geese were evil, and the only reason she had them was because they were Jackie’s favorites.)
“It’s not healthy for a kid to live like that,” Jackie said, when they had their sister’s coffee day the week after Charlie entered their lives. “It’s all well and good for the guys; they’re used to barracks and structures like that. Whatever you can say about Locus, he did a good job with that kid. She needs a home.”
Mitch rubbed her forehead. “We don’t have that kind of room,” she said, her shoulders slumping.
“She’s gotten attached to Carolina,” Martha said tentatively. “I guess we could take her. I could turn my work room into a third bedroom.”
“The farm’s good for her,” Mitch said. “Even if the geese aren’t,” she added, glaring at Jackie, who sipped her coffee and didn’t deign to answer.
“So what we’re saying is, we need more space,” Martha said, sitting upright. Martha was a carpenter, and she always loved the prospective of new projects. She’d had too much fun with the front porch.
Mitch sighed. “And now all we have to do is convince Wash about it.”
“Not Donut?” Martha asked.
“Donut’s going to love this,” Mitch said, waving it away. “Now, shoo, and tell Wash to come help me set the table.”
By the time Wash came in, covered entirely in hay, Mitch was peeling potatoes. “Your children convinced Charlie that dropping a bale of hay on me would be hilarious,” he said flatly.
“My kids have great senses of humor, don’t they?” Mitch grinned. “Go clean up, then we’re setting the table.”
Wash came back, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes.
“So Sarge said his lady-friend might be coming by soon?” Mitch asked.
Wash coughed. “I’m still not used to that,” he muttered.
Mitch tried to keep her voice gentle. “You know, the loft wasn’t meant to be a permanent residence. And the farm’s getting kind of crowded.”
Wash tensed up. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. Too quickly. “I know we’ve been an inconvenience, and I should have realized you’d be in danger—”
Mitch’s eyes widened as she realized that she’d said exactly the wrong thing. “No!” She snapped, dropping the potatoes and spinning to grab Wash’s arms. “I’m not kicking you guys out!” She gripped his arms as tight as she could until she saw him take a deep breath. “You’re family. They all are. And we handled Felix. Together.”
When Wash finally nodded, she let go, and smacked him slightly. “Idiot,” she said. “What I was going to say is, the Phillips are putting their place up for sale.”
“The farm next door?” Wash said, frowning.
“That’s the one,” Mitch nodded. “I was thinking about buying some of the fields anyways, but, since we could use the space, Martha suggested that we tear down those big barns they have and build some small places for all of you. Grif and Simmons could certainly use the privacy, and I know Donut’s getting tired of me not letting him decorate, so he and Doc would love their own place. And Tucker and Junior could probably use some real breathing room, and god only knows a barn’s no place to raise a kid, even if Sarge is next door.”
Wash crossed his arms. “Can you even afford that?”
“Andi has a pension,” Mitch said stubbornly. “And there’s always loans, if that isn’t enough—”
“We do too,” Wash said firmly. “We’ll help.”
Mitch glared at him. “I don’t need charity, David. This is my farm—”
“Count it off our rent, then!” Wash threw his hands into the air. “Mitch, you’ve done so much for all of us, just let us help you, when you’re about to buy a place just so we don’t have to be living in your barn!”
Mitch glared at him, poking him with the peeler. “Fine. Let’s tell the others. Martha’s already drawing up blueprints.”
In the end, they built four small houses. One for Tucker, one for Grif and Simmons, one for Donut and Doc, and one for Sarge. Wash ended up moving in with Tucker and Junior, and Charlie split her time between the teal house, and Martha and Carolina’s apartment.
Caboose moved into Wash’s old room, mostly so Andi could keep an eye on him. He was delighted, especially when Martha and Jackie spent an evening painting the ceiling so that it looked like the earth as seen from the moon.
Sarge set up a charging port for Lopez in his house between declarations that he was still waiting for grandkids, which sent Grif and Simmons running for cover, and Donut and Doc running for adoption pamphlets, although they were still undecided on the subject. Lopez officially could be heard refusing to move in as loud as he could, but he still ended up spending plenty of time there, Martha’s dog Shadow following him more often than not.
Charlie, meanwhile, was discovered to have a gift for animals. Except for geese. Mikey the cat followed her everywhere when she was in the big house (as they all took to calling it when they all tromped up for dinner every night), and after Lopez, she was Shadow’s favorite person.
Shannon and Joel seized upon the idea of having a new cousin with characteristic aplomb. Charlie was Joel’s age, and even though she was much more reserved than them, she got swept up into their antics more often than not, even though she didn’t pick a side in their Red vs Blue shenanigans.
Mitch found the three of them waist-deep in mud, only half an hour before she and Charlie needed to hit the road. It was visitation day, and she quickly took a picture to show Lopez. They made quite an image, Joel and Shannon desperately trying to reach Charlie’s head so she could be splattered as thoroughly as they were, while Charlie laughed.
It had quickly been determined that Mitch, Martha, and Jackie were the best visitation chaperones. They all knew what he had done, but it was less personal for them. They could detach in a way the others couldn’t, and pretend that he was just Charlie’s dad, in a way the others couldn’t.
“Charlie!” She called, laughing. “Come on! It’s almost time to go!”
Charlie quickly sprung to her feet and tore towards the teal house to get cleaned up.
“Do we have to have a bath?” Joel demanded, frowning at her.
“Not yet, squirt,” Mitch laughed. “Go on, go find your uncle Donut and give him a hug for me.”
Eager to have a task, the two terrors raced off to find their uncle.
Mitch went off to check on the sheep, grinning.
Her family was all in one place. Even Kai was back this week, burdened heavily with as many treats as she could carry. She was determined to be the cool aunt, and as far as Mitch could tell, she was succeeding.
Of course, the next day would bring Vanessa Kimball to their doorstep. But that was a whole different adventure.