Chapter Text
Spring 1946
Carina runs her hands over her mid-section smoothing over her dress. The fabric is smooth to the touch, silk, it’s one of her best dresses. If not, her best. Only her wedding dress tops it. This dress is a baby blue in color. The sleeves come down to her wrists with a scoop neck line. It’s tight at the waist and hips before flowing out and ending around her ankles. The perfect dress for a warm spring day.
She is preparing for their outing today. In the agenda is a trip to the local hardware store and then the grocery store and bakery. After that, wherever her husband might need to or want to stop by. It’s Saturday morning so he isn’t working today and this why they are going about their errands.
Carina would like to be able to attend errands on her own, but she still doesn’t have a firm grasp of the English language which makes it difficult to communicate with the shop owners or anyone else for, that matter, that she would come across while out and about.
Her life isn’t bad by any means. Her husband works a steady job and provides well for them. Their house is small but adequate. The most impressive part though, in Carina’s opinion, is the indoor plumbing. She isn’t sure how her husband got this house or when the plumbing was installed but she knows it is a relatively new innovation and something that she’s never experienced before.
Her days are consumed with cooking meals for her husband. First, she makes his breakfast which needs to be on the table by seven in the morning. After the breakfast is finished, she packs him a lunch to take with him to work. In the afternoon, she works on dinner to be ready when he returns home from work.
Other than cooking, Carina cleans their space. Dusting daily and sweeping the floors. She’s still amazed at how much dust there can be. Each week Carina designates time to beat out the rug. Then there is laundry to do which she does about twice a week. Which means doing laundry by hand, which is her least favorite chore because it is a laborious and time consuming task. But it has to be done.
She takes pride in her housework and caring for her husband, Bernard. He’s a kind man but a serious man. He is serious about how his home appears and voices how Carina should handle each tasks involved to keep the home looking clean and tidy. He is also serious about his work. A man who sells the newest and latest and best furniture money can buy.
She’s a housewife and she can’t complain. Just about a year ago, she was on an uncertain voyage to get to the place that she lives in today. She never imagined it would be like this and it’s so very different from where she grew up. But it’s the life she has now. A life that she is ultimately grateful for.
“Carina!” Bernard calls up the stairs for her. “Let’s go!”
He is impatient today and Carina is unsure as to why. Sometimes she gets the feeling that he has disdain for having to accompany her on her errands for the household; but as the man of the house and her husband he is required to do so. One day, maybe she’ll be better with language and he can attend to his own errands while she handles hers. Or she can go out by herself without him even being present. The latter is less likely but a woman can dream. Carina sees housewives at the grocery store by themselves. They gather their own groceries, pay the bill, and load their purchases into the trunk of their car. The problem with that is she and Bernard only own one car and Carina doesn’t drive and he takes the car to work each day. Which are both obstacles.
“Coming.” She runs the brush through her hair once more before setting it down and looking at herself in the mirror to make sure her outfit is put together well enough. It’s satisfactory for their day out.
Bernard meets her at the bottom of the stairs. He holds out his elbow for Carina to take. She grabs her purse and then his elbow and they are off for their day.
The first stop is the hardware store. Bernard talks on the short drive over about the items that he needs to fix the kitchen drawer. She’s barely listening because Carina doesn’t know the terms he is using in reference to what needs to happen to fix the drawer. The hardware store isn’t a place that Carina has ever entered. Bernard will usually go in by himself while she sits in the car. But today, Carina reaches for the handle for the car door and she’s unsure as to why.
Bernard wrinkles his brow and watches as she pushes the door open with her shoulder. “You’re coming in?”
Carina looks over her left shoulder in her husband’s direction. “Is that bene?”
He frowns hard. There’s no reason to object so he shrugs.
They exit the car and move side by side toward the front of the building. Bernard stuffs his hands into his pants pockets and Carina latches onto her elbows again as they move through the front door. The bell above the door jingles to alert the man behind the counter of their presence.
Inside it’s darker than Carina expected. Lightbulbs light up each aisle but the light isn’t even throughout the store. The corner and back of the store is shrouded in a bit of darker mystery. Carina hears a radio playing somewhere in the room. The aisles are filled with items that overload Carina’s senses. Some items she recognizes but there are lots that Carina doesn’t. The aisle are narrower than to allow two people to walk hip to hip so she steps in line behind Bernard as he looks for what he needs. She sidesteps a man in the aisle who is sifting through what appears to be a tub of bolts. Bernard rounds the end of the aisle and starts down the next one. Carina follows him astutely. Her eyes catch another patron in this aisle. She expects another man in search of something that he needs for a repair that he is going to be making. But Carina wrinkles her brow as she spots what appears to be a woman. The person wears trousers with a long sleeved white button down shirt tucked into them. The shirt sleeves are rolled up to the elbow. This person has the body of a woman but is dressed in men’s clothes. Something Carina has never seen before in her life; here or where she grew up.
“Excuse me.” Bernard stands next to this intriguing person now.
“Sorry.” The person steps to the side. “Just looking at the handle options.” They smile kindly up at Carina’s husband.
Carina notices the voice and quirks an eyebrow. Feminine but with a deeper quality. She tends to think this person is in fact a woman. This woman also has her hair pulled back into a low ponytail.
“Hmm.” Bernard hums but doesn’t say more than that.
She is minding her own business when the woman in men’s clothing looks in her direction, looking behind Bernard. A pair of of blue eyes linger on her for a moment, appraising her. The interesting woman smirks and Carina ducks her head, disengaging from this woman.
“I think I’ll go with this one.” The woman pick a handle and then takes a step backwards, leaving Bernard standing their to make a decision. The woman moves towards Carina. “ ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” She smiles lightly and shimmies past Carina in the aisle. “Pretty dress.” She comments as she passes.
Carina looks up again and over in direction of the blonde-haired, blue-eyed person. “Thank you.” Carina knows to politely appreciate the compliment.
She hears Bernard clear his throat and Carina looks in his direction. He subtly shakes his head and Carina isn’t sure what he means by that.
“I’ll be on my way now.” The woman in men’s clothing nods at the pair before spinning on their heels.
Carina watches as they move down the aisle. Not a typical feminine walk but there is something off that Carina can’t place. The person disappears around the end of the aisle.
Though the interaction was short, Carina’s thought linger on the unique woman she saw in the hardware store that day. Her thoughts stick with her for the remainder of the day. It’s only when she tucks into bed and goes to sleep that they cease.
Carina and Bernard are attending an event to celebrate the new fire truck that the community has just received.
Carina sits next to Bernard in a yellow sun dress. It’s a warm summer day but that doesn’t deter Bernard from wearing his usual three piece suit. Later, he might take the jacket off, but being the serious salesman that he is he always wants to look as presentable as possible in public, lest someone he sold a piece of furniture approach him for conversation.
She fans herself with the brochure that was handed to her husband upon arrival. Bernard has looked over it and then handed it off to her. The sun beats down on the back of her neck and she wishes she would’ve brought a sunhat for this event, but didn’t know they would be seated outside in the sun on a June day. Carina moves her hair from her right shoulder to fan out across her back. She probably should have worn it up today. But there’s nothin she can do about it now so she sits and waits for the ceremony to begin. They are here today to celebrate the new firetruck the city has recieved for the fire station in their neighborhood. The truck stands proud, shiny, and new at the front of the crowd. A little podium is set up next to the truck.
The crowd is filled with a murmur of chatter as they wait. Bernard is talking with the man sitting next to him and Carina is simply people watching and taking in the surrounding. It brings her a sense of calm to know everything that is happening around her. The disadvantages that she has with the language and the difference is culture are lessened if she can find things in the crowd that are familiar, that put her at ease.
The crowd quiets all at once as a group of people walk into view at the front of the rows of seats. Not everyone is seated, many stand on the sides and perihperal and at the back of the seating area. It appears to be a good turnout for this event.
A man leads the charge. Followed by two women and a younger man. Carina thinks he might not even be a man yet but a teenage boy. The boy is dressed in a sweater and trousers. The older woman has on a black full length dress. And the younger woman, who keeps her head bowed, has on a knee length blue halter top dress.
The trio come to stop next to the podium while the man in charge stands behind it. His chest is puffed out with pride. There is a bright smile on his face as he begins. This is clearly important for him.
“Welcome everyone. I’m Captain Bishop. Station 19 has welcomed you all here today to celebrate the newest member of our team. Our new fire engine. But before we get to that I would like to introduce my family. To my right is my wife Katherine and my son and daughter Mason and Maya. Wave.” He grins and nods for them to do as he says.
Carina gets her first good glance at the trio as they wave and smile for the crowd. She gasps in shock. The woman in the blue dress is the same woman that she saw in the trousers in the hardware store a few weekends back. She feels, more than sees, Bernard glancing over at her, but she ignores him. Instead, Carina is more focused on the blonde in the blue dress. The dress is a royal blue color, something that pulls out the blue in the woman’s, or girl’s, eyes. It’s an entirely different look than the last time Carina saw this person.
Captain Bishop starts in on the specifications of the new fire truck, but Carina is more focused on the girl in the blue dress. He had called her Maya. It’s not a name that Carina has ever heard before but since her time in America and Seattle has been short so far, it’s not a crazy notion to still be learning new names.
The speech is short and the four are exiting stages left. People start to get up and mill about talking with others and checking out the fire truck.
“Let’s get something to eat.” Bernard stands, waiting for her, putting on hand on the small of Carina’s back when she gets to her feet as well. He guides her inside the fire station to where the food is located.
They get food, sit at a table and eat. Bernard starts up a conversation with some people sitting with them and finds out that a few of the men were in the war as well. Bernard asks them what division they were in since he clearly didn’t serve with them. Carina listens in and picks up as much as she can.
She’s good with listening; that way she doesn’t have to try to speak the language. They share war stories about where they were stationed and what kind of action they saw. Carina tries to shrink into herself. But that fails when Bernard mentions that he served in Italy and then introduces her as his Italian wife. He gives Carina a sweet kiss on the cheek after introduction. “She’s still a little timid with the language and stuff.” Bernard excuses her quietness and waves it off, continuing his conversation with these two men. He has his arms around Carina’s shoulders loosely as he goes on and on with these men.
Carina is back to people watching after the focus is off of her. There are a lot of people around. And other than at church, she doesn’t really know anyone in the community. Her eyes scan for anyone from her church. She spots a few kids that she’s seen at Sunday service, but not their parents as they run around chasing each other. But then, out of the corner of her eye, she spots unmistakable blonde hair. Her eyes follow the woman as she walks through the crowd; as she walks in her direction. Carina swallows as the blonde stops at the end of her table. She catches her eye and the blonde smiles. “Is it alright if I sit here?”
Carina nods, not wanting to speak for fear of messing up her words.
“Cat got your tongue?” Maya chuckles as she sits in the empty seat next to Carina.
Carina looks around, brows wrinkled, not understanding. “Pardon?”
Maya shifts in her seat, pulling on the bottom hem of her knee length dress. “You’re quiet.”
“Oh.” Carina hums. “Si. I mean- yes.” She nods.
Maya chuckles. “Okay, Mrs. Quiet.” She cuts into the piece of cake on her plate and brings a fork full to her lips. “I’m Maya. But you probably already know that.”
“You were at hardware store.”
Maya quirks an eyebrow high on her forehead. She not sure what to say. She doesn’t want to say anything. She knows she was, of course, and she remembers seeing this woman there as well. That’s part of the reason she asked to sit at this table. But to have this woman acknowledge that she was at the hardware store is something else entirely. She needs to play her cards just right. It’s a bold move even coming over today and sitting next to this woman. She doesn’t know her. She doesn’t know who she is or what kind of connections she does or doesn’t have. And this woman’s husband, he could be someone who she can’t trust. Maya has no idea. It’s risky to be sitting here, but she needed some time to herself. And since her father is Captain and knows tons of people here personally, there aren’t many places to hide. So, she spotted this woman and as a relative stranger she was the best option to not have to engage with someone her father knows for a few moments while she eats her dessert.
Maya tugs at the bottom of her dress again, trying to pull it down. “Let’s not talk about that.” She says quietly, like it’s a secret, and she hopes that this woman can understand that in some ways it is a secret without having to call it out.
“What’s your name?” She finishes her piece of cake and turns slightly in the direction of her seat companion.
“Carina De-“ She has to remember her married name. “Carina Walsh.”
Maya wrinkles up her nose at that. The name doesn’t fit. “I like your first name.” She leans a little closer to Carina and whispers. “But the last isn’t- doesn’t-“ She shrugs.
“My married name.”
Maya understands, so she nods. “I hear your accent.” She points to mouth. “Where are you from?”
“Italia.”
“That’s cool. What’s it like?” Maya would love to see other places in the world. She’s not entirely sure where Italy is, except on the other side of the world. She does know that it’s somewhere far from here. She knows about Italy’s position in the war and the happenings to bring them to where they are today. Somehow everything, everywhere relates to the war. This seems no different. Heck, they are here today because they’ve finally gotten a fire truck after waiting for five years because they finally have materials again. The metal used to make fire trucks was all being used to make war planes and war ships and war this and that.
“Oh?” Carina is surprised by the question. No one here has asked her that. They hear she’s from Italy and smile and nod and move on for the most part. “Sicily.”
“Oh, wow. There was a battle there. Did you see-“ She realizes maybe too late that her question is insensitive. If Carina did see active parts of the war, that can’t be good memories for her.
The Italian woman nods though.
Bernard taps her on the arm. “I’m going to get a drink with the guys. You okay?” He eyes Carina and then the blonde woman sitting next to her. He recognizes her as Captain Bishop’s daughter from when she was introduced earlier. She’s a pretty young lady and if he didn’t already have a pretty young wife he wouldn’t mind looking at her.
Carina nods at him. “Bene.”
Maya waits until Carina’s husband walks away from the table to speak again. “I can’t imagine.” While the United States took part in the war, the war wasn’t on their soil. At least, not on the mainland. “I’ll not talk about that.” She tugs on the bottom of her dress again.
Carina is interested by this blonde. She’s noticed her movements and they seem awkward. She’s not shy and has no problem having a conversation, but there is something off about her. And she keeps pulling on her dress like she trying to make it longer. “Your dress. I like. Mi piace.” She smiles kindly. Maya had complimented her dress when they were at the hardware store and she’s now returning the compliment. Though, Carina is confused as to why this woman was wearing trousers at the hardware store to begin with
“I don’t.” Maya pulls at it some more.
Carina scrunches up her face with more confusion. She watching the blonde as she shifts in her seat. She observes as the blonde looks around for something or maybe someone. Her blue eyes train on Carina afterwards. “I’m forced to be here today.” She frowns and Carina can now see that Maya is uncomfortable.
“Why?”
“My father is the captain. He wants to parade his family around to peacock for this event. It’s him shoving his status in everyone’s face. Screaming look at everything I have and you don’t. Which is ridiculous. We just came out of the war. So many families are morning the death of their loved ones or are returning home after war with memories they don’t want or are starting over completely. It’s not fair, he didn’t have to go to war.”
Carina’s eyebrows are near her hairline at the venom in Maya’s voice more than anything. There is clearly a specific disdain that this woman has for her father. That surprises Carina because if she were in Maya position she knows she would be grateful if her father didn’t have to go to war.
Maya sees Carina’s face and worries she’s said too much. She reaches out and sets a hand on Carina’s forearm. “Sorry.” She mumbles but her hand tingles against Carina’s skin. It’s warm, wonderfully soft, a little clammy from the June sun. Her eyes shift down to her own hand against the skin. Her hand is paler than this woman’s complexion, making a nice contrast. Her eyes shift back up to Carina’s. She finds brown eyes still staring down at her hand. “Sorry.” She pulls her hand away afraid that she’s being too forward. The woman is a stranger and here she is crossing a line that she knows she shouldn’t. Carina is beautiful. That isn’t lost on Maya, but she tries to avoid the feelings it brings her. She has a weakness for pretty women. A forbidden weakness, she knows. It doesn’t hurt to look though. Touching is a step too far. She folds her hands together in her lap as prevent herself from reaching out again. Maya looks to make sure no one saw and then returns her attention to Carina. “I feel like I’m monopolizing the conversation. Are you having a good time here?”
“Si, yes.”
Maya smiles at that. It’s adorable to Maya how this woman slips in little bit of Italian. “Good, I’m supposed to be mingling with the crowd and making sure everyone is having a good time.” Maya rolls her eyes playfully. “It’s just so much posturing. I hate it. It’s a bunch of kissing ass. And for what? It’s no benefit to me. I’m just forced into this position cuz I’m young and attractive. I think he also is trying to sell me off to some important man.” Maya scoffs. “I can’t stand it. And all of this-“ She extends a hand to the crowd. “It’s good community engagement but he’s putting on a show. At least the fire truck looks good.”
“It’s very red.” Carina comments for lack of something better to say. She doesn’t feel she can comment on the relationships between a father and daughter.
Maya narrows her eyes for a brief second and then tips her head back in laughter.
Carina finds herself grinning at the woman beside her and her genuine laugh. Since she’s been in America she hasn’t made anyone laugh in such a way. It gives Carina a sense that she gotten something right and she has a good feeling about this interaction.
“Very true. You’re funny. I like you. Would you like to be friends?” Maya’s request is genuine. She’s also hurting for friends. The few female friends she has are fine, but they are all boring and don’t share her same zest for life. Maya needs something new. She needs to broaden her horizons. Maybe a friend from Italy will provide that.
Carina smiles, shy. “I would like that.” No one here has ever asked to be her friend. She’s been forced into friendship with the women at church, but they never asked or were genuine in inviting her into their lives. They were women so the convention was that they were friends. That’s it. Maya is interesting to her and she has lots of questions about her. A non-forced friendship would be delightful and she doesn’t get a sense of any ill intentions from this woman.
“Smashing.” Maya sets her palms on the edge of the table. “I hate to leave you all by your lonesome.” She looks around again, checking her surroundings. “But I must mingle with others or my father will have my hide.” She gives a tightlipped smile. “I’ll see you around.”
Maya tugs at the bottom of her dress again as she stands. “This damn thing.”
Carina smiles. Maya is cute in a way Carina doesn’t think she’s ever experienced before. Kids can be cute when they fuss over there clothing but she’s never seen an adult do it. It’s not until Maya turns to leave that Carina’s brain catches up. “Wait.”
The blonde looks over her shoulder, quirking an eyebrow.
“Where?” Carina isn’t sure what the protocol is for non-forced friendship or when the would see each other or even where. Her church ‘friends’ she sees every Sunday. She’s not sure where to find Maya.
Thinking for a moment, Maya understands Carina’s concern. “Where do you live? I’ll come visit you.”
Carina feels her skin warm, her face heats up with an unfamiliar sensation. No one has ever asked where she lives. Or said they want to visit. She doesn’t even know her own street address. “No lo so.”
Maya wrinkles up her face. She has no idea what that means. The only words that makes sense is no. “No?”
“No. No. No.” Carina is frantically waving her hands in front of herself. “I mean-“ She takes a moment to think about her words. “I live by the hardware store.”
Maya smirks at that. She points at Carina. “Good one.” She is going to have to get creative. “Do you know your address?” Carina shakes her head and looks like she’s about to cry. “Hey.” Maya takes a step closer and sets a hand on Carina’s shoulder. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” She assures Carina that it’s no problem that she doesn’t know. Maya can’t imagine moving to a new city and not knowing the area or the surroundings or anything, even the language. She gives her shoulder a gentle squeezes. “Let’s find your husband. What’s his name?” She thinks Carina will be better if she’s in the presence of someone she knows and trusts more than her.
“Ber-Bernard.”
Maya nods and looks around for him. She spots the man at the makeshift bar that is set up in the corner of the fire station. He is talking to the same two men that he was talking to when Maya came over to sit at the table they were all at. “Come on.” She tries to be gentle. “I don’t need a pretty girl crying on me.”
Carina sniffles but she doesn’t miss the kindness that Maya offers in finding her husband. She also doesn’t miss that Maya calls her pretty. Carina has thought many times that other women were pretty, but she never once said it out loud. She wonders if it’s an American thing to do. But she hasn’t heard it from other women sense she been here. She follows along as blonde hair leads the way through the tables and chairs and people.
Maya interrupts the men. She doesn’t care. This is more important than whatever they were talking about. “Sir, I was just talking her with your wife, and we seem to be at a loss for your address. I didn’t mean to cause any upset but, well-“ She shifts her eyes to Carina as to show Bernard that Carina is in fact upset.
“I’m not- upset.” She uses Maya’s word. She does feel flustered though and a bit thrown for what is happening. “I don’t remember our address.” She knows Bernard told her what it was but she didn’t pay any attention. Why would she need to know that? He collects the mail, he takes care of the bills. Carina has no need to know her own address- until now.
“Why do you need to know?” Bernard questions the pair.
“Oh, well, it was me.” Maya ducks her head briefly. She doesn’t want to talk out of turn or answer for Carina, but she feels like maybe Bernard is misunderstanding the situation. “I asked. I was curious as to where you both live. Being the fire captain’s daughter, I have an affinity for the roads of this great city. I’ve spent many hours studying the maps.” She smiles charmingly. “I was just curious. That’s all.” She definitely leaves out the part where she told Carina she would come visit.
She can see that Bernard doesn’t believe her or is at least suspicious of something.
Bernard thinks it’s an odd thing for a woman to know a lot about but things were different around here during the war and maybe this woman needed to learn the city streets for some reason. “I see. Well, we are over by Hansen’s Hardware. On 1st Ave. It’s the only blue house on the street.”
Maya commits the information to memory with a nod. “Do you like the neighborhood?” She adds a little small talk for good measure.
Bernard quirks an eyebrow at this woman. “It’s a fine neighborhood. Newer, so that’s nice.”
Maya smiles and nods again. She glances at Carina out of the corner of her eye. “Well, I’ll leave you to it.” She loosely salutes Bernard and turns to Carina. “Bye.” She whispers and starts on her way over to the snack table where her mother is ‘serving’ desserts. “Why don’t you take a break, mom? I’ll take over. Get yourself something to eat.”
Katherine lets out a long sigh. “Thank you, dear.” She sets a hand on Maya’s shoulder as she passes her.
Maya passes out desserts to people as they come up to her table. Her eyes never seem to settle in one spot for very long. They are out searching for Carina over and over. The Italian woman stays nestled at the husband’s side each time Maya looks in their direction. Carina mostly has her head down when she looks but one time she catches her eyes and they share a smile. Maya is happy that at least Carina isn’t too upset and that she can smile.
The rest of the event is rather dull for Maya, but she is looking forward to getting home and taking her dress off.
Carina sticks by her husband until he decides it’s time to head home. She’s heard enough war talk to last a month but that doesn’t stop the men from continuing to talk about it. She sits quietly in the passenger’s seat of the car as Bernard drives them home. When they get inside, he removes his suit coat and loosens his tie. Her presses a kiss to her cheek. “Will you pour me a glass of scotch?” His feet are already taking him in the direction of his favorite chair. Carina isn’t sure if it’s a man thing or that he is a furniture salesman, but his love for that chair is ridiculous. She pours him a glass and brings it to him. Bernard’s eyes are closed but he accepts the glass with a small thanks.
“I’m going to go freshen up.”
“Okay.”
And with that Carina heads to the bathroom to splash some water on her face. She’ll have to reapply her makeup afterwards, but it’ll be worth it, because she feels absolutely gross and sweaty from being out in the hot sun for many hours.
Her thoughts linger on the woman she met today. Her new friend. Maya is young and Carina wonders how young. Not that she’s any older, probably. Carina is about to have her nineteenth birthday herself, but she does wonder if Maya is younger or older than her. If she is, it can’t be by much. Though it’s sometimes hard to tell with these American’s and especially after the war as Carina thinks it’s seemed to age people prematurely.
As she cooks dinner, she ponders on what Maya’s days are like. Does she still live at home with her parents? She must. She’s not married and she did mention her father trying to set her up with someone. Carina wonders if she cooks and how she spends her days if she doesn’t have to cook for the family or clean the household. She thinks back to the things she did to occupy her time before she was married. There were lots of afternoons spent reading out in the yard under the big oak tree. She would ride her bicycle around the village or take a walk with her brother. Visit the shop that sells fruits and vegetables and collect items for her mother for whatever she was planning to cook. They did have some vegetables in the yard, but space was limited, so they didn’t have much. Tears fill her eyes as she thinks about her childhood home and how much she misses it. The worst part is that she thinks she’ll never return there to see it again. She’ll never see her mamma again. And who knows about her baby brother Andrea. Carina wipes at her face as the tears slip down her cheeks. She reminds herself that she’s in a better place, that she has an amazing life, with a good husband, here in America.