Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The air was heavy and warm with heat and new beginnings. It was present in the ambiance, everyone could feel it, it was as if they were on the edge of something bigger.

Summer had been in full swing for a few weeks already, but it didn’t feel like it until tonight; the Truham-Higgs graduation party, one last hurrah before everyone dispersed for university. Charlie never went to many parties, it wasn’t really his thing, but this felt like a rite of passage, something that would only happen once that he didn't want to miss out on.

Harry Greene was known for his huge house parties (that Charlie usually stayed far away from), but from what he’d heard, he'd really outdone himself with this one. Charlie had nothing to compare it to, but it did seem a bit over the top.

For starters, the house was huge; a giant, borderline mansion that he had rented for the night. As he and his friends approached the house, they had to zig-zag through the groups of people mingling outside in the front garden, drinks in hand and laughing loudly under the dusk sky. Through the big windows, he could see flashing multi-colored lights in every room and the silhouettes of bodies dancing to the booming music that drifted out of the open front door.

As soon as they walked in, Elle spotted some of her friends and waved excitedly at them, a girl with short braids to her shoulders and what he guessed was her partner who was holding on tightly to her arm, bouncing on their toes excitedly. Elle glanced back at Charlie and Tao, Charlie gently pushed her forward.

“Go, have fun, we will be fine,” Charlie shouted over the music, smiling encouragingly.

Elle frowned slightly. “Are you sure?”

He rolled his eyes fondly at his friend. “Yes, Elle, meet us out in the back later,”

She kissed Charlie’s cheek and pecked Tao on the lips before disappearing into the crowd.

Charlie grabbed Tao’s wrist and dragged him to the kitchen to grab a drink, he would need at least a little alcohol to survive the night.

Tao leaned against the counter as Charlie poured their drinks, groaning dramatically. “Issac was right, I knew I should have stayed back with him,”

“You’ll survive a couple of hours without your girlfriend,” Charlie shoved the cup into Tao's hands. Tao, Charlie, and Issac were similar; they’d rather stay home and have film nights than go out on weekends. But, Elle on the other hand was the opposite, she thrived in social settings. “She will find us when she ready,”

“It’s not just that,” He scoffed. “We are at a Harry Greene party, we are so far out of our element we might as well be in Antarctica.”

“You’re so dramatic, Tao.” Charlie sighed and pulled Tao along with him again, this time heading out the back slider door to the back garden. “If I can relax a little, you can too.”

Outside near the back of the yard was a small patio sofa with sting lights hung up on the fence behind it, in front was a small lit firepit. The area was vacant except for a few girls chatting in the grass and a group of rowdy boys playing beer pong on the other side of the yard. So, the two of them sat on the empty sofa.

“How are you so relaxed anyway?” Tao asked, plopping down next to him. “This literally seems like your worst nightmare, and you’re surprisingly content.”

He shrugged, sipping his drink. “I don’t know, this is probably the last time we will see most of these people, so who really cares?”

“And thank God for that,”

“It doesn’t make you a little sad?” Charlie asked. “The last chapter of secondary school is closing, the people we grew up alongside will soon be strangers.”

Tao looked at him sideways. “You hated secondary school, a lot of these kids made your life hell.”

“Maybe so, but I don’t hold it against them. It’s too much work to hold a grudge against every person who may have made a snide comment towards me. It’s just not with it.”

“You're being awfully optimistic,” Tao examined Charlie’s face carefully. “Are you drunk already?”

Charlie laughed, tipping his head back to look at the sky, it was a deep blue, littered with barely visible stars. “No, I just think this part of our life is so small.” he turned his head to look at Tao. “We are leaving for uni in little over a month, and will be hours away from each other, which sucks, but everything is expanding so much in such a short time. I don’t know, it feels like something big is coming, doesn’t it?”

Tao thought about it for a moment, picking at the skin of his thumbnail. Charlie already knew he didn’t quite feel the same, Tao hated any kind of change.

“I don’t know, not really. I guess I’m looking forward to uni, but I’m going to hate being so far from you guys.”

“I know,” Charlie rested his head on Tao’s shoulder. “It might be hard, but change can be good.”

Charlie changed the subject after that, he knew Tao didn’t like uni talk, so he didn’t bring it up again. And soon Elle joined them again, the three of them chatting mindlessly as they watched the fire in front of them.

He knew he was being particularly sentimental tonight, but this summer was the last summer he and his friends would be living in the same town with no big responsibilities. Things were changing, and usually, Charlie would be the one to be anxious about this, about everything that was happening, but he actually found himself looking forward to the unknown. He was ready for a new beginning.

Of course, he would miss his friends like hell, but it’s not like they would never be able to see each other again, they already have dates for their virtual movie nights and weekends planned to spend together. It would be different, but different doesn’t always mean bad.

As Charlie laughed at Tao and Elle bickering about what they were doing for their upcoming date night, something else occupied his attention.

Charlie could feel someone’s eyes on him. Not in the usual anxiety-induced way that made him feel like everyone in the room was staring at him, but he could physically sense someone’s eyes burning into him. He looked away from his friends and out toward the rest of the garden, his eyes scanning the people around him. The gaggle of girls next to them lived in their own little world, none of them looking away from the little circle they were sitting in. There was a couple sitting against the fence a few feet away from them, but neither of them was paying attention to anything but the other. The lads playing beer pong were focused on their game and– oh. All of them were distracted except for one of the guys, and the said guy was looking right at Charlie.

Charlie stared back, eyebrows knit as he tried to figure out why the captain of the rugby team was staring at him. Their eyes met for a beat, a moment passed between them, and then Nick looked away as he rubbed the back of his neck. Huh, weird.

Charlie knew of Nick Nelson, as did everyone else in their school. He was ‘The Rugby King’, of course he knew who he was, but the question on his mind was how did Nick know Charlie?

He didn’t let himself think about it too much, he was probably just in a daze and his eyes just so happened to accidentally land on Charlie. Because they had never crossed paths in all their years of going to school together, so why would he suddenly notice him tonight?

Charlie turned back to his friends, trying to shake the weird moment from his mind.

The rest of the night went pretty much the same; Tao and Charlie hanging in the back garden while Elle floated back and forth from sitting with them to getting pulled away by another group of friends Charlie didn't know. It was a pretty good night, Charlie decided. It was fun without being too overwhelming, it was something their friend group would normally do; shit talk for hours about anything and everything, just with the added atmosphere of loud, mediocre music and their drunken peers.

Sometime later Elle and Charlie headed inside to grab some more drinks, he opted for just a lemonade, not wanting to face his mum while plastered when he went home. After he poured his drink into his cup, he turned around at the exact moment someone ran straight into him, spilling their sticky, red, alcoholic drink all down the front of Charlie's white tee shirt.

Elle gasped beside him as the drunken man stared in shock at Charlie’s shirt. Charlie stood frozen in place, trying not to move so his shirt wouldn’t stick to his chest.

“Um,” Was all the man was able to say before he was interrupted.

“Christian!” Another voice said. “I left you alone for two minutes, what the fuck did you do?” Charlie looked up to see Nick Nelson again, but this time rounding the corner, pulling his friend back away from him and taking his place, so now he was standing in front of Charlie. “Shit, I’m so sorry about him,” Nick wasted no time pulling paper towel from the roll and blotting Charlie’s shirt carefully. “He's insanely drunk and I thought I could trust him to come in and get some water by himself, but I guess not. I am so so sorry,”

Nick continued to ramble off apologies as he tried to rid of the stain on his shirt to no avail. Charlie glanced over at Elle to see her holding back a laugh, he threw her a glare before turning back to Nick.

Charlie cleared his throat awkwardly, still frozen in place. “Um, I don’t think it’s going to come out, it’s fine though–” Before he could finish his sentence Nick was taking off his hoodie and handing it to Charlie. “Oh,”

“Put this on, it might be a little big but it’s better than walking around with a half-red shirt.”

“Oh, thank you.”

He pulled the hoodie over his head, and once he had it on and squashed down his curls, hoping they wouldn’t be too wild, his eyes met Nick’s for the first time during their interaction. It seemed like Nick truly realized who he was talking to as recognition crossed his face.

“Sorry, um, I’m Nick.” He stuck out a clumsy hand for Charlie to shake.

Charlie giggled as he shook it. “Charlie,”

Nick held onto his hand for a beat too long before he quickly pulled it away as he cleared his throat. “Do you, uh, want to… come dance with me?” Nick rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Oh!” He was taken aback by his words and his nervousness, in what world would Nick Nelson be nervous to talk to Charlie? Let alone want to dance with him? Charlie couldn't even dance! He looked to Elle again, hoping she would have an escape for him, but instead, she smiled and pushed him forward, waving him away.

“I’ll go hang with Tao,” She said with a cheeky smile. “Have fun!” And with that, she was back out the door.

He turned back to Nick, forcing a nervous smile. It made him feel a little better that Nick looked just as nervous as him. “Uh, yeah, lead the way,”

Charlie followed him through the crowd of dancing bodies until they got to a gap near the middle of the room. Hard Times by Paramore was playing, a song that he recognized well enough to let his body move freely to the familiar beat. Nick tried to copy his movements, but his limbs were stiff and awkward. Charlie laughed and put his hands on Nick’s hips to guide him.

“For someone who plays rugby, I thought you would be a little more coordinated,” Charlie giggled.

Nick smiled and raised an eyebrow at him. “How did you know I play rugby?”

“Everybody knows you play rugby, ‘Rugby King’,” Charlie teased, which made Nick laugh.

Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, or maybe it was the notion that this was most likely the first and only time he would interact with Nick, he decided to let himself flirt a bit. From what Charlie knew of Nick, he wasn’t his usual type, the sporty laddish straight guy kind, but for some weird reason, he felt pulled to him. Not only because he was stupidly attractive (which he was), but it felt like something beyond that. It was like his eyes were magnets and he couldn’t look away.

Charlie didn’t know how long they danced, but he did know that the longer they did, the more the both of them began to loosen up. Charlie didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was flirting with him, because it didn’t matter anyway. If Charlie thought about it, it seemed like Nick was flirting back, but he was too lost in his own world to notice. Well, that was until it was blatantly obvious and impossible to ignore… when Nick took his face between his calloused hands and kissed him.

It was just a quick peck, hardly a brush of the lips before Nick sprung back, a look of panic on his face.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” He said, color drawing from his face. “I didn’t even ask if I could do that. I– I just thought I felt a vibe? Like, earlier in the garden and then now? That is not an excuse though! I’m so sorry I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing–”

Charlie broke out of his shock just enough to cut off Nick’s rambling by reconnecting their lips. Charlie felt it too, and it was too strong not to explore it. Nick froze for a split second before coming to his senses, wrapping his arms around Charlie’s waist and deepening the kiss. He kissed him with so much fervor that it made his knees weak and his mind blank.

One of Nick’s hands traveled from his waist all the way up to the nape of his neck, sliding his fingertips into his hair. Charlie sighed and tilted his head to the right, parting his lips to grant access to Nick’s tongue.

It was an indecent act to be engaging in public, especially around their peers, inappropriate enough for Charlie to muster up the strength to pull away. Charlie slowly opened his eyes to see Nick already looking at him with wide eyes and a heaving chest, hands still firmly gripped onto him.

It took several moments for Charlie’s brain to come back online, to which many questions began spinning in his head at once. “Do you… are you– is this… do you want to go somewhere quieter?”

“Yes, yeah, definitely.” He nodded eagerly. “Um, we could go back to mine? My mum is out for the weekend,”

Charlie wasted no time pulling him toward the front door, that sounded like the best idea anyone’s had all night.

It was a short walk to Nick’s house, energy buzzing between them the entire way, and as soon as his bedroom door finally closed behind them, Charlie was being pushed against it. Nick placed warm, eager kisses up his neck, making him shiver.

“Are you still okay with this?” Nick said against his neck. “It’s okay if you've changed your mind,”

“No, no, this is very okay.” Charlie breathed out.

While Nick was occupied with kissing him, Charlie took the moment to take in his room. It was a typical room you’d expect a laddish eighteen-year-old to have; F1 posters on the wall and rugby trophies displayed on a shelf above his desk. But, it had personality as well with sting lights above his bed and a framed picture of his dog on his nightstand.

Taking in the unfamiliar surroundings brought him back to reality a little bit and what situation he somehow got himself in; he was about to hook up with Nick Nelson.

This wasn’t something Charlie frequently did, not at all, but he also kind of really enjoyed it. Not only because a fit guy was showing so much interest in him, but because there was this weird but exciting buzz he felt under his skin. There was a connection between them, one he wished he realized was there sooner.

His lips were back on Charlie’s as he walked them toward his bed, gently guiding Charlie down onto his back as one hand held Charlie’s cheek while the other held himself up. In between kisses, he asked the question he had been wondering since their weirdly passionate eye contact in the back garden earlier that night.

“I didn’t know you were gay,”

Charlie must have said the wrong thing because Nick pulled away from the kiss, and when he opened his eyes Nick was looking at him with an expression he couldn’t read. Before Charlie could panic and backtrack, Nick spoke.

“Um, well, I’m bi, actually.”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry for assuming,” He internally cringed at himself for making such a broad assumption, and for automatically assuming Nick would be comfortable talking about this. “Well, thank you for telling me.”

“You… you're actually kind of one of the only people I’ve told.” He admitted shly.

“Oh!” Charlie’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yup,” Nick had a shy but proud smile on his face. “I’ve known for a while, I just haven't really found the right time to like, announce it I guess.”

“But, I mean, you did kind of make out with me in the middle of a very crowded party.” Charlie shifted from laying on his back to sitting up on his elbows to look at him better. “I think that was a pretty prominent announcement, are you okay with that?”

Nick moved off of Charlie to lay next to him so they were both on their sides facing each other, the mood simmered out significantly, but he was okay with that.

“Yeah, yeah I am,” He smiled assuredly. “I wasn’t really hiding it much anyway. I'm going off to university in a few weeks for pre-rugby training, so I feel like it doesn’t really matter anymore anyway, y’know?”

Charlie nodded in understanding. “I get it, I feel the same, things are changing.”

Nick nodded back, and they both just stared at each other for a few seconds, now that the heat between them wasn’t so intense, the reality of their situation seemed to dawn on them.

“God, you probably think I’m completely mad.” Nick huffed out a strained laugh, rolling onto his back and covering his face with his hands. “We literally don’t know each other, and I’ve asked you to dance out of the blue, made out with you, brought you back here, and now I’ve just confessed that you’re one of the first people I’ve come out to… all because I feel extremely, remarkably drawn to you. I’m sorry, I really don’t know what I’m even doing, I want you to know I don’t normally do things like this,”

“Nick, it's fine,” Charlie giggled and pulled his hands from his face so he would look at him. “I feel it too,”

He reluctantly opened his eyes. “You do?” Charlie nodded and Nick let out a long breath. “Okay, good, I thought I’d actually lost my mind this time,”

The two of them laughed, a mutual understanding that this whole situation was definitely out of their comfort zones.

The mood was gone, the heat between them was extinguished, but neither of them seemed to mind. They were content just chatting, which was what they did for most of the night. They lay side by side and talked about everything under the sun; their upbringings, their plans for the future, their experiences through school, Charlie’s mental health struggles, Nick’s strained relationship with his deadbeat dad and homophobic brother, everything. Charlie didn’t think about the fact that tonight was the first time he’d ever said a word to Nick, and now he was telling him everything about himself, things he still had a hard time talking about with his closest friends. Because, in reality, this is not only the first but probably the last time he will talk with him. It’s nice to have a strong connection with someone and imagine what it would be like if things went further, but that just wasn’t sensible. Both of them were on the brink of the rest of their lives, moving in opposite directions, it wasn’t realistic to think anything would come of this.

They ended up talking all the way up until Charlie could hardly keep his eyes open, his eyelids drooping sleepily as Nick told him about how he was pretty sure he had a crush on his rugby camp counselor as a kid. His eyelids fluttered closed as Nick was finishing his story, and when He abruptly stopped talking in the middle of the sentence, Charlie opened his eyes to see him looking at him with a soft smile.

“Why’d you stop?” Charlie said through a yawn.

“Because you’re falling asleep. Am I that boring?”

“Not boring,” He reassured, even though he knew Nick was messing with him. “I’m just tired, and you’re voice is very soothing. That combination is making it very hard to stay awake.”

He looked at him with an amused smile. “My voice is soothing, huh?”

Charlie knew that was an embarrassing thing to admit, but he was far too tired to care. “Mhm,” He hummed, pulling the duvet over his shoulders and sinking deeper into the bed.

“You’re cute,” Nick said softly. Charlie’s eyes were closed so he couldn’t see the other man, but he felt his hand run soothingly through his hair. He smiled and hummed, leaning into the touch. “You can stay the night, if you’d like. We don’t have to do anything, I just don't want you walking home this late.”

“You sure?” Charlie cracked open one eye to look at him.

“Of course,”

With that, Charlie reached for his phone to text his sister, telling her to let their mum know he wouldn’t be home that night. It was better to ask for forgiveness than permission, he supposed.

_____

Charlie woke up the next morning before Nick did. The morning sun peaked through the gap between the curtain and shone in his eyes causing him to squint. He went to sit up but a heavy weight kept him in place, he looked down to see Nick’s head on his chest. He froze as Nick stirred slightly, but eventually settled back into sleep. Charlie held his breath as he slowly moved out from under him and he carefully stood on the solid ground.

He looked from Nick’s sleeping form to the closed bedroom door, weighing his options. He could wait until Nick woke up to leave, letting him know he was heading home, or he could quietly leave without him knowing and forget any of this happened. Not because he regretted anything, but because there wasn’t any use in replaying last night in his mind knowing nothing would ever be able to come of it.

He eventually chose the latter, picking up his red-stained teeshirt and black ripped jeans off the floor. He quietly padded across the hardwood floor of Nick’s bedroom and turned the doorknob painstakingly slowly, he was almost out of the room when the door squeaked loudly as it opened. He froze in place and quickly whipped his head in Nick’s direction, Nick who began to stir in his sleep again. This time though, Charlie wasn't so lucky and Nick sat up on an elbow, rubbing the sleep from his eyes to get a better look at him.

“Charlie?” He said, voice gravely with sleep. “You’re leaving?”

“Um, well, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“I wouldn’t have minded,” Nick sat up fully now, his hair was messy and falling in his eyes, a frown set on his lips. “It’s still early… do you want breakfast before you leave?”

Charlie wanted to say no, the longer he stayed the harder it would be for him to get the man out of his mind. But, he was looking at him with sleepy eyes and a pouty frown and Charlie really couldn’t say no to him, could he?

He let him make him breakfast, he sat at the kitchen table, his elbows on the table with his chin in his hands as he watched Nixk mix the pre-made pancake batter at the counter.

“Sorry, it’s one of the only things I know how to make,” Nick said sheepishly as he pushed the plate of pancakes toward him. “But, I didn’t want you to leave hungry,”

“No, this is great, thank you,” Charlie smiled around his fork.

They ate in relative silence beside the sound of Nick’s dog’s paws against the tile as she walked back and forth between the two of them, waiting for someone to drop something.

When they fished eating and Charlie grabbed his things, he hung awkwardly in the foyer, standing in front of Nick with one leg crossed over the other as he leaned against the doorway, unsure how he was supposed to say goodbye to someone who he had just met the night before but also made out with 10 hours prior.

“Um, thanks for… having me?” Charlie eventually said.

Nick snorted and rolled his eyes playfully, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. Charlie’s limbs loosened and he sunk into the embrace.

“I had a good time with you,” He said pulling away. “Well, I mean yes I had a good time kissing you, but I also enjoyed talking with you.”

Charlie could feel his cheeks reddened slightly as he huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, so did I,”

“So, I know we are both leaving soon, so I don't want to like, put pressure on you to keep contact…” Nick rubbed the back of his neck, something Charlie had quickly learned was something he did when he was nervous. “But, can I give you my number? Again, no pressure for anything–”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” He cut off Nick’s rambling. Nick beamed at him before pulling his phone from his back pocket and handing it to him. He quickly typed in his number and set the contact as ‘Charlie :))’.

“Thank you,” Nick smiled as his eyes scanned the screen. Charlie opened the front door and stepped outside into the already humid air. Nick looked up and stuffed his hands into his pockets, rocking up onto his toes. “Um, maybe I’ll see you around?”

Charlie took in the man one more time, eyes roaming his face that was pulled into an expecting smile. It was hard leaving knowing that realistically they wouldn’t stay in contact, he doubted Nick would even text him, it wasn't worth it knowing nothing would come of this. He appreciated the sentiment nonetheless, but Charlie wasn’t dumb, he knew where this was headed; nowhere. “Yeah, maybe.” He smiled a smile that he knew was fake, a smile Nick probably didn’t quite believe either, before he closed the door behind him.