Part 1: Shou

"Wow, so these are the Osiris Red dorms, huh?"

You have your own dorm, Shou wants to say. We're full here, he doesn't say.

You're not allowed to be like that with my brother, he absolutely cannot say to the champion of Duel Academia's North campus.

I don't remember letting you be his friend, he can't say to Johan Andersen, because Judai has already made that choice without him. Shou feels the bond between himself and Judai slipping away almost tangibly as the new "dueling moron," as Edo had put it, surveys the tiny and cramped dorm room while pressed up against Judai's side.

"Yep," Judai says. "Isn't it great?"

"And these must be your roommates!" Johan grins at Shou and Kenzan. "Nice to meet you guys."

Shut up shut up shut up, Shou does not say out loud.

"Say, Johan," Judai says. "Do you wanna duel again later? I think Winged Kuriboh's disappointed he didn't get a chance to face you."

Shou and Kenzan share a mutual side-eye as Judai draws Johan immediately into another conversation not meant for either of the two others in the room.

Those two are still talking when Shou and Kenzan head off to class, because if they delay any longer they're going to be late. Judai gets away with it because he's Judai, and it's unlikely that the champion of the North campus will get in trouble for tardiness either. But for people like Shou, getting to class on time is a necessity if he wants to keep his Obelisk Blue uniform.

"What would occur if these Dis-Belts of yours decide that students lack a heart of battle?" Vice Principal Napoleon shouts from the audience of the assembly.

"An immediate dorm demotion," Professor Cobra announces. "If they appear unmotivated after that, they shall then leave the Academia! Those whose hearts lack the passion to duel have no need to remain here."

The other teachers raise a fuss. Off to the side, Judai just pumps a fist in excitement. "No one can beat me at having a heated heart!"

Johan, of course, is standing right next to him. "Wow, Judai... You really do take it easy."

"Don't flatter me too much. You're pretty heated, too!"

Yeah, Shou thinks to himself distantly as he considers how short his tenure in Blue might turn out to be. Heat and passion.

And then there's himself. It's not as if he isn't passionate about the respectful dueling style he's decided to take as his own way of life, but…

The heart that duels respectfully isn't the same as the kind of heart that burns with passion and victory. The birth of Hell Kaiser Ryou made that clear last year.

And where his older brother willingly descended into hell for the sake of victory, Shou has always seen Judai as the sun in the heavens: burning hot, a source of strength who makes the impossible possible. He's known this since that first day at the practical exams, where examinee 110 had pulled miracles out of his sleeve to beat the elite head of the Blue dorm and earn his reputation as one of Duel Academia's top duelists.

"Duelists don't have a pecking order," Judai had told him when they first arrived at the island. "We're just rivals." But Shou had understood the difference between them even then. Has stuck by Judai ever since, hoping to catch just a bit of that radiance and absorb it to make up for what Shou himself lacks naturally. Has defended his position by Judai's side as Judai's first little brother, thank you, and graciously allowed Kenzan to be the second.

They've grown because they got to know Judai, both of them. But they're still a different class from the likes of Judai and Johan.

Shou wants badly to have just a bit of what Judai has naturally. What Johan has naturally, because from the time of their exhibition duel it's annoyingly clear how similar the two of them are. If Judai is the sun, then Johan is the moon: a pale reflection of the sun, but undeniably part of the heavens. Nothing like the mortals on Earth.

Kenzan knows it too. "Guess you do get to relax once you're in the champion class, don," he comments as Jim and Amon pass by discussing naps. Shou thinks again of Judai and Johan laughing at the assembly. Nobody can doubt that those two are passionate duelists, and they surely have nothing to worry about with this new system.

Respect. Passion. Victory. They're not opposed to each other, but watching his older brother over the years Shou has learned that they're all different roads to walk. A way of dueling that combines all three…can he really walk that road? Does it exist?

"What's with you, don?" Kenzan mutters behind him as Shou walks off. Shou doesn't answer. Even Kenzan wouldn't understand; this is a problem few people would, he thinks.

But where nobody on Earth has an answer, maybe the sun will provide inspiration and a new road forward.

"My goal here's not so much trying to win as it is respecting my opponents through my respectful dueling," Shou explains to Judai as Johan looks on. "But if I don't win these Dis Duels and protect my Blue uniform, I won't be able to carry on my big brother's Kaiser title!"

Judai looks upon Shou not with warmth but with scorching indifference, like someone's asked him to write an extra credit essay. "Hmm…"

"'Hmm'? Is that it?" And Shou tries desperately not to feel like a fool, beseeching the sun to intervene in mortal affairs. "Please, give me something! I mean, what am I supposed to do?"

Judai just scratches the back of his head, with the same blank what are you asking me for expression Professor Chronos gets for cold calling him with theory questions. "It's kinda hard to say... I mean, I'm just gonna enjoy these duels like I always do…"

And what? What does that mean for Shou? "But I...I feel like I'll have to have duels as heated as yours too, aniki…" He can't do that. He can't reach those heights – not as he is now, and possibly not ever.

Judai looks up at the sky as he dithers, like this conversation is beneath him. "I dunno...I mean, you and I are different people and all…"

It probably is beneath him. Shou's prayers have been heard and answered, but the answer is no.

When he runs off he doesn't hear Johan comment, "Judai, you're colder than I thought." All that's in Shou's head is a ping-pong of ideals battering against his heart.

Respect.

Passion.

Victory.

Judai has never made a secret of the fact that he duels for fun, even through the toughest battle and the highest stakes. Hell Kaiser Ryou decided somewhere in the pits of the underground scene that nothing mattered more than victory, and during the Genex tournament Shou had failed to show him otherwise despite his best attempts.

Judai had told Shou afterward that he'd had his own victory, proving himself and his respectful dueling – the same style of dueling his brother had abandoned for his own satisfaction – in the face of Hell Kaiser Ryou's relentless assault. But it feels very little like a victory now, and even less like an answer.

(...Should he still be thinking of what Judai has told him? Maybe it's impossible not to.)

So, fine then. If heaven and hell want passion and victory, maybe that's what Shou on Earth should aim for too.

It's exactly that thought that leads him to challenge the champion of the West campus. Shou ends up dangling from a log over a cliff for his troubles, a hostage so the West champion can duel Judai for his own reasons.

(O'Brien never even gave Shou a thought as an opponent. His eyes were only on Judai, too.)

In the end it isn't Judai who saves him when the cable snaps. It's Johan's hand that grasps the end of his rope as he falls, Kenzan bracing himself against the log to heave both their weight.

Judai calls out a thank-you and the duel proceeds. Despite the evening hour, the sun continues its course across the sky.

Shou makes his decision, and announces it to Judai resting in the infirmary. He isn't an elite in the heavens, able to navigate a road through both passion and his own respectful dueling. The school has determined him qualified to wear the Blue uniform signifying that he is, but Shou knows himself better than any exam.

He's going to continue forward dueling with respect, and eventually he'll find his way to that road where respect and passion go hand-in-hand. For now, Shou is just Marufuji Shou – who belongs in Ra Yellow, yet to earn his place in the heavens as Kaiser Shou.

Johan catches him heading out the next day, transfer paperwork in hand. It's strange to catch Johan without Judai…and, Shou admits to himself if nobody else, more than a little unwelcome. Technically they're in the same dorm so this has always been a possibility, but it's not a color Shou is going to be claiming shortly.

"Judai told me about your respectful dueling," Johan says, like the two of them are friends and not just tenuously connected by somebody who is very much not present. "I understand what you were talking about yesterday now, when you came to Judai looking for advice. So this is the answer you came up with, huh?"

"It is," Shou answers. Not that you would understand, he doesn't add.

"Ah, well…" Johan looks unsure for a second, then smiles. "I won't try to change your mind, but I want you to know that I think your determination is admirable. I understand, you know? I like to see what my opponents are made of, too."

Shou is pretty sure that Johan does not in fact understand. "Thank you."

Johan's smile is probably genuine, but to Shou it just feels condescending. "I'm sure you'll find the path you're looking for. I look forward to facing all of what Kaiser Shou has got someday!"

Someday, but not now.

Shou makes his excuses to head out. Within a few hours, he's back in a yellow jacket.

Part 2: Johan

Johan watches the light shoot out of Yubel's castle with Professor Chronos, but only Shou is privy to Judai's final words.

"He said…" Shou can't stop crying, and Johan wishes he could do anything more than listen. "He said he was going to go on a journey, to grow up from a kid into a man."

It's a claim that says a lot, while explaining nothing at all. Johan can only guess that Judai survived the duel with Yubel and is off…growing up?

Johan still doesn't entirely understand what happened with Judai in that other world. He became the Supreme King, the others say. He crushed his friends in battle, the ones who hadn't already been killed. Nobody's keen on giving him a detailed account, if they're even able – except for one person.

"In the end, I couldn't abandon Judai," Shou admits to him a few days later, hidden away in Judai's dorm room. Johan's pretty sure that Shou would rather be telling this to one of his own friends, but the two of them are the only ones still holding out hope for Judai to come back at this point. "I couldn't turn against him, so I watched over him."

"You did what was in your heart," Johan consoles him.

Shou buries his head in his arms, slumped over the table. "But I never understood him. I watched him for weeks, months…and I never tried to figure out why he did all of that. He was suffering the whole time, but even though I spent so long watching him I never realized."

Johan doesn't know what to say, because he wasn't there. All that time Judai and everyone needed help, Yubel had long shut him away inside Rainbow Dragon's card.

But Judai had pulled him out of there, saved him from that eternal sleep. For all people talk about the Supreme King and his cruelty in that other world, all of Johan's problems have come from Yubel rather than Judai. Judai himself has proven himself to be a savior for both Johan and his family.

Johan…doesn't know how he and the Gem Beasts will ever be able to repay him for that. But he has to believe that they'll get the chance.

The hero has to win. Judai will prevail against Yubel and return to them both, because that's how he works. And Johan has more than gratitude that he needs to convey to Judai. Much more than that.

"When he comes back, I want to tell him how I feel," Shou mumbles.

Me too, Johan thinks. He means it very differently from how Shou does, but it's not a contest either.

When Judai comes back, Johan's going to tell him about his own feelings. All of them.

Miraculously, Judai returns to them on a shooting star.

Shou cries again, this time in joy rather than grief. Manjoume yells about fried shrimp. Johan just smiles and says "Welcome back," because his faith in Judai has proven true.

Judai's unknown journey to grow up has changed him. Or does Johan just think of him differently now? He swears Judai's hair is longer now, his features sharper.

They are all at that age. The way everyone tells it, months had passed in that dimension of unending night. But Johan swears that Judai's features have indeed changed since they saw each other after Judai freed him from Yubel's prison just a week ago.

He...spent a lot of time looking at Judai, those months before everything happened.

Asuka manages to procure fried shrimp from somewhere, and one of Mrs. Tome's assistants brings it over to the Osiris dorm's dining room. Johan expects Judai to dive for it immediately, with a blithe laugh and some line about how she's a miracle worker. Instead Judai smiles, honest but restrained. "You didn't have to do that, Asuka."

Asuka just gives him a fond smile back. "Consider it a welcome home gift."

"Well, thanks for the meal!" he laughs, and digs in.

The relief in the atmosphere is thick, like the scent of island jungle on the early spring winds. Of the three missing upon their return home, two have returned to them. And with Judai back, the nightmare is finally starting to fade.

"Gee, aniki," Shou grumbles as Judai chows down. "You really scared us all this time! What were you doing on that journey you talked about?"

"Ah..." Judai pauses thoughtfully for just a moment, chopsticks slowing on their trajectory to his mouth. Then he plops a bit of rice into his mouth and continues eating. "I grew up, that's all. Did a lot of thinking about stuff."

"You couldn't have come back for that?" Manjoume snaps, annoyance failing to mask his underlying concern. "Honestly, Judai, if you were going to do some thinking at least stop worrying people with a disappearing act!" A beat. "Of course, I knew you would either come back or you wouldn't."

"Is that so," Kenzan mutters, and throughout the ensuing argument Johan keeps his eyes on Judai. He's watching the bickering, too, but…

Judai's eyes are on his friends, but he isn't looking at them. His gaze is unfocused, like he's seeing something that they don't or hearing something that nobody else does.

If Judai sees something, Johan should be able to see it. Manjoume too, for that matter. But Johan sees nothing in the air, not even Judai's loyal partner Winged Kuriboh. So what…?

There's a sharp rap at the door, and without waiting for an answer Professor Chronos bursts in, already teary-eyed. "Mamma mia! Signore Judai truly has returned, then!"

Which starts a whole new round of dramatics, which is all well and good and up until Judai stands up with his tray. "I'm gonna finish eating in my room," he declares. "It sure is lively here, but I'm beat!" He smiles brightly, as if assuring them all. "Thanks again for the food, Asuka! It's great to be back, Professor Chronos, everyone! I'll see you all tomorrow."

"Wait up, aniki!" Shou calls out, following Judai out the door. The rest of them trade glances and split up for the night, Asuka consoling a still-blubbering professor as they walk back down the road back towards the blue dorms.

Johan quietly makes his way up to the door of Judai's dorm, because he's still resolved to tell Judai how he feels. But he hears talking already, words indistinct but clearly Shou's voice, and just as quietly climbs down the rickety stairs and heads back to Obelisk to let Jim and O'Brien know the news.

"When he comes back, I want to tell him how I feel," Shou had said, slumped over the wooden table in that dorm room.

Yeah. Johan understands that very well.

Shou can have this tonight. He's Judai's best friend, after all. Tomorrow, Johan will share everything he feels with Judai.

It happens again the next morning: Judai is welcomed back in class with rousing applause as he walks into the lecture hall, and he awkwardly smiles through it. Shou is…not sitting with Judai, strangely enough, taking his seat close to the bottom rows instead. Kenzan sits with him.

Johan checks with Asuka and Manjoume, but Judai's other friends don't know what's going on with those two either. Johan shrugs for now and sits down next to Judai, Ruby leaving his deck to circle in front of him in affection.

Judai smiles and murmurs a low greeting to both Johan and Ruby, but doesn't say much afterward. Johan watches him drift through class with that same unfocused gaze.

In some respects what he's doing isn't altogether that different from how Judai normally acts in class: easily distracted, prone to napping, a laissez-faire student. But it is different somehow, like Judai's trying to be present and failing.

"Judai," Johan whispers as Professor Kabayama makes closing remarks for the current class session. "Are you all right?"

"Huh?" Just the one syllable from Judai's voice meanders, like he's forgotten Johan was there until now. "Yeah. I'm good."

By lunchtime, Judai is gone. Johan scans the doors around the lecture hall as class begins, waiting for Judai to stroll in late, but he never comes.

"It wasn't you," Shou tells him at the end of the day. He does not explain further.

Johan doesn't ask what he and Judai talked about, because he's pretty sure Shou wouldn't appreciate Johan asking about something that personal. Which is fine; Johan knows that he and Shou aren't friends the same way they're friends with Judai.

It only starts to strike him as concerning when Judai doesn't show up in class the next day, and the day after that. Principal Samejima has been talking to the remaining transfer students about returning to their schools early, and – does Judai know?

It's…strangely empty in the Osiris dorm room when Johan enters. Neither Shou nor Kenzan are in, which is strange. Shouldn't they want to be with Judai too, right now?

Well, it does make Johan's objective tonight easier.

"Not right now, Shou," calls a muffled voice from the bottom bunk. That's unmistakably Judai, whose face Johan can see is buried in a pillow.

"Judai," he calls out lightly. "It's me, Johan."

"Johan?"

Gangly limbs flail, and Judai tumbles out of bed roughly, blankets still tangled around his legs. "Ugh…Johan, what are you doing here?"

And well, Johan can't just leave him like that. "Hang on, Judai."

A few minutes later they're both sitting cross-legged on the floor just like old times, Judai's hair mussed from bed but body thankfully free of his blankets.

"You never answered my question," Judai mutters, rubbing sleep out of one eye – and then he freezes. "Something hasn't happened, has it?"

"Ah? No, no." Johan waves a hand. "Judai, I…just wanted to talk to you."

There's a pause then, much longer than Johan expected from Judai over something so simple. "Yeah?" Judai asks finally, lightly.

Johan takes a deep breath. "Judai, I wanted to say…thank you. For saving me from Yubel, and just as importantly for saving my family from them as well."

Another pause, though shorter than the last. "Oh," Judai says. "Yeah." He grins, and it's brighter than before. More like the Judai that Johan knows. "You didn't deserve what Yubel did to you. I just…I'm glad you're all right, Johan."

Johan smiles. "You didn't deserve what Yubel did to you either, Judai."

The Gem Beasts still bear the trauma of Yubel's twisting and torture of their very spirits, and they hadn't even been the central target of the dragon's ire. Judai…that thing had been his partner, once. Everything that had happened – as far as he can gather from everyone else, it had all been Yubel's plan to torment Judai over their past. That Judai didn't deserve it is beyond doubt in Johan's mind.

…But Judai just goes quiet, now for longer than before. "Yubel was hurting," he says finally. "They didn't deserve it, either."

Huh?

Johan can't help but falter for a moment. He's heard some of the details about Judai and Yubel's history, sure. But it seems like they've always been a problem to him. "Judai…are you saying you sympathize with Yubel?"

"Yes!" Judai's eyes widen a beat after he yells, as if he hadn't expected his own outburst. But his eyes narrow, and his posture stiffens defensively. "Yubel and I, we—"

His gaze unfocuses again, until the tension starts to leak from his frame. "...Never mind," he mutters. "But don't speak about Yubel like that. You don't know what you're talking about. Or…just don't talk about Yubel, at all. I know it's not as if you have any reason to like them."

Johan certainly does not. "They hurt my family. Even if you remember them fondly from the past, I can't forgive them for that."

"Yeah. I guess you shouldn't." Judai sighs, exhaustion in his face. This close, Johan can see from the shadows in his eyes that he hasn't slept well.

"Well, we don't have to worry about them anymore," he says. "The fact that you're here with us now is proof of that."

Judai, once again, doesn't react how Johan expects. He should be happy he's back here with everyone, shouldn't he? But instead Judai averts his eyes, glancing too-casually at the window behind them. "...Yeah. It is."

There's something unsaid to that statement. Johan knows Judai well enough to read that much.

"Judai, is there something you want to talk about? Something about what happened while you were gone?"

He sees it in Judai's face, the moment the other boy makes a decision about something Johan can't guess. Judai smiles and scratches his head like he's contemplating a bothersome homework question. "Nah, it'd be no use talking about it. No one else would understand."

Which means that it's something only Yubel would understand, Johan surmises, as the other half of that unseen final standoff.

"All right," he says doubtfully. "But let me know if you want to talk about it, all right? I'll understand."

Judai does not want to talk about it. He talks about class, about dinner, but Johan feels the shift that has happened between them. The gates to a part of Judai's heart Johan hadn't even known was there have slammed shut.

The world feels out of phase as he returns to Obelisk, unspoken feelings choking his chest.

Marufuji Shou is at the dorm's entrance, looking up at the pristine castle exterior. He's back in the blue uniform he'd worn when Johan met him.

"So Judai was the same for you," he says to Johan quietly.

And that's how they end up in Johan's bedroom, Shou awkwardly standing by the door while Johan regards him somberly from his seat on the bed.

"Congratulations on your promotion," he starts. "Do you feel ready for Blue again?"

"I'm surprised you remembered that," Shou mutters. "I thought you were focused on Judai."

Ouch. Well, Johan can't completely fault him for that. "I was, but…you caught my interest too, you know. It's a good philosophy, respectful dueling."

"Hm? You know, I actually think you mean it this time." Shou stares at him from the door, and then looks away. "No. Maybe you always did."

"Of course I meant it." Johan prefers to be a little more head-on than what he understood of Shou's style from Judai's explanation back at the start of the year. It's more fun that way, in his opinion. But it's the same idea in the end, trying to appreciate all their opponents have to offer.

"I didn't think so back then. But maybe…" Shou shakes his head. "Maybe that was me."

"Huh?"

Shou sits down then, curling up to draw his knees to his chin.

"Aniki was like the sun to me. I've always wanted to be with him since we met. And you know, we've been through a lot together. A lot happened at Duel Academia, even before you came here."

Yeah. Johan's heard the rumors. Shou's undoubtedly been through plenty in his years with Judai.

"But, you know…" Shou opens his mouth, then closes it and lets out a soft sigh.

Johan does not in fact know. "Know what?"

Shou just stares at him for a long moment, wide-eyed, then buries his face in his arms against his knees. "...I know the difference between us. You deserved to be his best friend more than me," he murmurs finally.

Best friend.

Johan tries not to grimace. Shou means well, he knows.

It's not Shou's fault Johan wants something more. And…maybe it'll help him, to know Johan never wanted to compete like that.

"But I didn't want to be his best friend."

It's not easy for Johan to get the words out, either. He needs a second, just as he had forever ago entrusting his most closely held dream to Judai. But he knows it's a lot for Shou to say what he has when he's clung so closely to Judai until now. So Johan steels himself for one more moment of vulnerability, just like back then in that underground lab.

"I wanted him to love me back," he admits quietly.

Back in the lab there hadn't been time for Judai to react after Johan confided in him about his reasons for dueling, Giese interrupting the conversation with uncanny timing. Here in the quiet of Johan's room, there's nothing to distract Johan from the slow realization dawning on Shou's face as the other boy looks up at him. "Huh? You mean…"

Silence hangs for several seconds. "Yeah," Johan finally murmurs. "That's how I've felt for a long time."

Shou lowers his head back down, staring at the floor. "I see."

Johan sighs, glancing out the window and thinking of the path down to the Osiris dorms. "There was a time when I thought…"

Not long ago, Johan had felt his heart beat together with Judai's knowing he'd combined their aces into one in the battle against Yubel. It's something he's imagined a lot, ever since he met Judai on the roof of Duel Academia and encountered the deja vu of finally meeting somebody who shared his world. Somebody who lived with spirits like Johan did. Somebody who could meet Johan's family.

They'd been in sync when they dueled. When they fought together. When Judai saved him, and the passion in his heart shattered the cold prison Yubel had trapped him in. When Johan entrusted Judai with his family – his most important thing in the world – and went to face the monster that tormented them.

"I thought we were similar people. I thought Judai was the only one who might understand the kind of life I live."

Judai had been the first person Johan ever told about his dream. The incident with Tom, and how that changed how he understood the world all duelists share…he'd never talked about it with anyone outside his family before, until Judai.

He'd told Judai all of that because he believed Judai was the first person who might understand. And then Yubel had come into the picture, and…well, whatever happened in the end is still something only known to Judai. And he isn't telling.

"But now I don't understand Judai at all. Something happened, and he's changed."

"…He has nightmares."

Shou's voice is so quiet, Johan has to take a second to process the words. He takes a long inhale of breath when he does, thinking things over. "He does, huh."

"Everyone in the red dorm knows," Shou continues. "It's hard to miss. But nobody knows what to do. And aniki won't talk to anyone about it."

Yeah, that sounds like Judai. "So he's like that with everyone else too, huh."

Shou just nods to confirm.

The pieces start to fall together, but the picture he's getting is still incomplete. "I think it has something to do with Yubel, too. Something that happened between them. But he won't talk to me about it."

"Is that so…"

The two of them ponder their mutual frustration for a few minutes. Judai…he's a stubborn one, all right. And Johan won't be forgetting the way he shut down their conversation anytime soon.

"But don't speak about Yubel like that. You don't know what you're talking about."

"No one else would understand."

So…what? Yubel would understand him better than Johan? Better than Shou? Yubel clearly didn't understand Judai back when they tried to trap him in another dimension. What could have possibly happened during that duel, that Judai would say such things?

No matter what had happened in the past, Johan can't feel anything but indignation towards Yubel. He can see, logically, why Judai might feel obliged to defend the spirit that was once his partner. He can't see why Judai seems to trust them more than his actual friends.

He can't see why Judai won't trust him.

Should he have trusted Judai?

"Now I wonder if I ever understood him," Johan muses. "Or…if I was just happy to have met someone I thought was like me."

He looks to Shou, because maybe Judai's best friend has more wisdom to share than Johan himself does.

But Shou just nods. "…Me too." He looks up at the ceiling, the sparkling chandelier hanging over Johan's bed. "I always thought Judai was someone inspirational. Someone who always gave me courage. Someone who would help me become someone worth something." Shou's words start spilling out now, like a sudden rain shower. "And I thought, when he came back, he would be like that again. But aniki is nothing like that at all anymore."

He leans back against the door, still staring at the chandelier. "So I decided I had to be enough without him. That's why I came back to the blue dorm."

Johan has seen Shou make this kind of decision, back at the year's start when he was still searching for how he'd maintain his philosophy in the face of the Disclosure Duel system. He'd given part of the credit to Judai last time, thinking of him as a catalyst who created change in others.

Judai is responsible for part of it, in a way. But the fierce resolve on Shou's face isn't something that comes from Judai. This is all Shou's decision.

And Johan…Johan has to make a decision, too. How does he proceed from here? What kind of relationship does he want to have with Judai?

He mulls it over for the rest of the night, after Shou's left.

Part 3: Shou

"What are you doing here?"

Shou peers up blearily at Johan in his office's doorway, mind still swimming with legalese from the papers in front of him. He…didn't have any meetings scheduled today, did he? No, he blocked out today for paperwork and preparing for the league's first midseason events. No meetings at all.

Also, right. If he did have meetings they wouldn't be with Johan Andersen, who Shou hadn't even been aware was in Domino.

"Hey." Johan raises a hand in a casual wave, already distracted looking around Shou's tiny office. "Wow, so this is where you work now, huh?"

"Uh…yeah." Shou doesn't know what to say to that. Obviously he works here. Johan, on the other hand, had been making appearances in minor tournaments around Europe last he heard. There's really only one reason Johan would be here in Japan now. "Judai isn't here right now. I think Asuka might have heard from him last."

"He really didn't tell you, then." Johan frowns. "I came here with Judai to investigate a couple of card thieves."

"What?" Shou blinks several times, dropping his pen as he starts to get up. "Aniki's here?"

A whirlwind, Asuka had once called him. Judai had always been a force of his own, and he'd only become more of one since they graduated high school. Everyone in their circle from Duel Academia has their own stories of him showing up on their doorstep for a few days' grand adventure before disappearing just as swiftly, whether it was a brief showdown with some villain out to end the world or more run-of-the-mill counterfeiters or that time with the time-traveling card thief. It's been ten months since Shou's last encounter with him; if this is his next chance, he has to seize the opportunity.

But Johan shakes his head. "He was here until this morning. He's gone now."

Of course Judai is gone.

Shou heaves a sigh as he sits back down, elbow on his desk and leaning his chin against his hand as he processes that. "He was here, and he didn't even tell me…"

It's not at all unexpected for Judai. That doesn't mean it isn't frustrating.

Johan seems to understand, by the strained smile on his face. "He seemed to think it'd invite trouble to your league for him to stay. The ringleader did talk about scoping out some duelists competing here this week, at least before we caught her."

"You're here," Shou points out.

"I'm not Judai," Johan also points out.

A few years ago Shou would have made a snippy remark about a line like that. Today he just sighs and waves a hand at a tiny sofa – or a large armchair, whichever – wedged against one wall of the office. This is going to be a conversation, isn't it. "Guess not. How was he?"

Johan is quiet as he takes his seat, and takes a moment more to speak. "He was…all right."

Which is pretty lukewarm from someone like Johan. "Oh."

Shou doesn't know whether that means Judai is trying to take something on by himself or if he and Johan had a fight or whatever else. It's hard to tell with Judai these days, and he doesn't know Johan well enough to say anything for sure about him either.

"It was a good time with Judai, don't get me wrong," Johan adds hurriedly, probably reading his hesitation. "Almost like old times. But then Yubel showed up, and…"

"Yubel? The spirit Yubel?" Judai had mentioned once back during their last year that the spirit who terrorized them for a few months had become part of him, and in those times he was doing supernatural Judai things the orange-teal tint in his eyes was unmistakable. But Judai had never said anything about the spirit themself returning.

Johan nods, folding his arms. "They're still with him. Judai says they're different from when we knew them, and I've seen it. But…"

Yeah. Shou appreciates the things he learned about himself because of what Yubel put them through. That doesn't mean he really wants another encounter with the spirit. "He never said anything about it to me. When did Yubel come back?"

"They've been there since he came back from that other world, but Judai won't tell me anything else." This is news to Shou, but Johan says it casually enough that he's probably known for longer. Maybe because he and Judai are both involved with spirits. "Even if he did…I don't know what it would change. It certainly wouldn't change what Yubel did in the past."

And that's right. On top of turning everyone into duel zombies and fighting Shou's older brother to heart failure, Yubel had possessed Johan and made slaves of the Gem Beasts. Johan has even less love lost for Yubel than Shou, doesn't he?

Judai never talked about what happened in that final duel with Yubel, after he said his farewells to Shou with a vague line about growing up. Shou had always assumed that Yubel's presence within Judai had been a consequence of their defeat, but…well, he doesn't know what happened and evidently Judai's not telling. And honestly Shou sees why Judai wouldn't feel a need to tell him but…not even Johan?

At least Shou doesn't have to deal with Yubel anymore, if they are still around. He doesn't envy Johan for that.

"I guess seeing spirits isn't always a good thing," he muses.

"Hey, I'd never give it up!" Johan looks at him with frank but lighthearted indignation rather than the furrowed frustration on his face a moment ago. Then he looks to the side, toward the door. "Ah, some of the Gem Beasts have a lot to say about that…"

Shou looks to the door and considers. "Huh…Aniki talked to the air a lot, but not like that."

"Yeah, well…" Johan shrugs. "Judai is Judai. He and I are different, after all. And it's not the air, that's my family! They're really important to…hey, give him a break, will you?" By the familiar tone of his voice and the direction of his gaze, Shou can imagine that Johan is directing that last comment towards one of his Gem Beast family.

And sure, Shou had waved it off the first time, but…huh. They really are different after all, aren't they, Judai and Johan.

Judai would never have explained what was going on with whatever spirits he saw. He just went off and did whatever, and left it up to everyone else to figure out if he was doing something related to the fate of the world or chasing whatever random whims crossed his mind. Even after he came back from that duel with Yubel, or especially after that.

Back then Shou had never been interested in knowing, and Judai hadn't been interested in sharing. But now Shou remembers that talk the night he moved back into Obelisk, the first and until now the last serious conversation he'd ever had with Johan Andersen.

"I thought Judai was the only one who might understand the kind of life I live."

Life…changes. Shou's presence in this office, his elder brother working from home to reduce the stress on his body, proves that well.

But he also remembers when he first entered Duel Academia, always chasing his brother's back and thinking that Ryou couldn't possibly understand what it was like to be a shrimp of a mortal.

"…So what are they like?" he asks. "The Gem Beasts."

Judai would have given him a vague or generic answer, something full of impressions that failed to convey his meaning to anyone but himself. But Johan hums thoughtfully, and his eyes sweep across empty space.

"Well, Ruby's kind of mad but right now that means she wants to stay close." He indicates his lap, and Shou finds that he can imagine the little creature curled up next to Johan's belt. "Emerald Turtle is disappointed that you don't understand how fun it is. Amethyst Cat was mad too, but she likes that you asked. Topaz Tiger…um…"

By the grimace on his face, Topaz Tiger has some unkind words. "He feels similarly to Turtle," Johan says diplomatically, and Shou already knows to call bullshit on that.

"What did he actually say?"

"Aha…" Johan scratches his head sheepishly. "Well, he said he was sorry you don't have the privilege of knowing better spirits than Yubel."

Shou huffs at that, picking up his pen to spin in hand. "Well, tell him I spent months in Ojama Yellow's company before we found you back in Dark World. I'm sure he's somewhere in between the two of them."

"Hahaha!" The embarrassment on Johan's face morphs to mirth, and he throws his head back to laugh before surveying the same space again. "They like you now, Shou."

"Good to know," he mutters.

"Your deck likes you too, you know."

That, Shou hadn't been expecting. He nearly drops the pen, setting it down to take his deck out. Cyberdark Keel stares up at him, curled in beady-eyed judgment. "You can tell?"

"Well, one or two came out just now and it's easy to tell from the way they're acting. Maybe you're not family to them, like me and the Gem Beasts…but they do respect you."

"Is that so…" Shou fans out his deck and contemplates his carefully built mix of Vehicroids and Cyber Dragons, his brother's legacy passed onto him.

He thinks maybe he does understand what it's like to communicate with spirits just a little, actually. Not with words, but with feelings. Intentions. Shou recalls well a sunset spent out on the rocks by the ocean, sitting down and eating raffle sandwiches with Judai.

"Just make sure you ask the deck what it wants. All you can do is work with the deck, don't you think?"

"I'm doing my best to listen," he says. "Judai helped me understand how to make this deck my own. That's the last thing I learned from him, in our final year."

Shou has no way to talk to his deck directly, running on the flow of his draws and the feel of the cards as he commands them in battle. In a way, he already knows he continues to earn the respect of the Cyberdarks in particular – because they would make it very obvious if they didn't.

It's different from what Judai and Johan do, or even Manjoume. But maybe it's a little closer to their worlds than Shou may have realized.

Johan, for his part, seems happy for that response. "Heh. Good of him." He winces. "Ambulanceroid is loud, isn't it?"

"Um…" And now they're back to it maybe being a good thing Shou can't hear the spirits, after all.

"He's having fun with Cobalt Eagle, though," Johan reports. "And one of the Cyber Dragons is…well, I'm not sure. I think they're getting along with Topaz Tiger?"

Johan continues narrating for a bit, and as Shou returns his deck to its holster he regards the space where he imagines the Gem Beasts to be curiously. He doesn't notice Johan watching him until several minutes later, when apparently all ruffled feathers, scales, and steel have been sorted out and a comfortable silence has lapsed.

"…Was he all right, at the end there?"

Shou's attention flips to Johan. "Huh?"

Johan leans back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "I knew Judai wasn't doing well when we left Duel Academia. But I was sorting out my feelings back then, and didn't try to talk to him until O'Brien got in contact with me. And then everything with Darkness happened…"

"So that's why you came back to Japan." Shou had wondered once or twice, but there had been more important things at the time. Like graduation, and everything that came with it. "…He closed himself off from everyone, for a while. No – he was always like that, in a way."

Judai always had his own world. Shou sees that now.

He understands Judai better now than he did upon his return to Earth. They're on better terms now. But…well, Judai still does things like skip town without even letting Shou know he was ever there. Because he doesn't want to bring trouble to his friends, regardless of how they feel about the matter.

It's fine. Shou's found his path. It's easier to come to terms with Judai being like this now that Shou has grown up himself.

It also helps that the incident with Trueman and O'Brien's return to Duel Academia had clarified a little bit about what Judai was going through back then. "But he started doing better, after a while. Did you hear him, when Darkness took everyone?"

"It shows a history of how far you've come! And that's what makes a bond! So, just believe!"

"Yeah." Johan breathes out, sounding as awestruck over the memory as Shou feels. "I was there watching the duel. Judai was…amazing."

"He really was," Shou agrees.

For one last time Judai had shone like the sun, strong enough for his voice to reach into Darkness' nightmare. And then he'd disappeared again, not even saying goodbye.

Shou had known he would. Had been the one to start that goodbye letter and sneak it into Pharaoh's collar just before graduation ceremonies, uncertain Judai wouldn't vanish into thin air the moment he accepted his diploma.

He pretty much had. And since then, Judai's been in and out of their lives like a whirlwind. Really, it isn't surprising at all that Judai left town without even letting Shou know he was around in the first place.

Silence again as both of them contemplate the dust left behind.

"Thank you for being there when I couldn't, Shou," Johan says quietly.

Shou huffs again. "Yeah, well, some of us were actually students at the main campus. I was always there."

It's an assertion that would have had real resentment behind it, once upon a time. Now it's just a tamed bit of snideness, the kind of thing he'd say to Kenzan when he started asking how Pharaoh got to be head of the red dorm. And Johan seems to pick up on it, because he laughs again with ease and his delight bounces between the walls of the tiny office.

"…How was he just now?" Shou asks, when things settle. "You were with him."

"Hm…" Johan takes a second to contemplate before he answers. "It was good, for a while. Judai and I worked as well together as we always did. There was a moment, when I thought…no, maybe I hoped…"

And Shou suddenly remembers what Johan said back in the dorm that night, about his feelings. Right.

What can he even say to that?

It doesn't matter, because Johan skips over the issue as he continues. "But then Judai took a hit, and Yubel came out to protect him. That's when things changed."

That's not hard to imagine, unfortunately. "Oh."

"Even after years…" Johan lets out a heavy sigh as he sprawls deeper into the couch. "I can't forgive Yubel for what they did. I think they know that. Which means Judai knows it." His voice quickens. "And it's not as if I want to put him in the middle, or as if I want to hate Yubel, but…I could see it in his eyes after that moment. He's still my friend, but Judai's heart, and mine…they're not the same. Not anymore."

He sighs again. "If they ever really were."

And…yeah, that's familiar.

"I think I understand," Shou says. "I thought the same, back then."

Once upon a time, he'd thought of Judai as the sun. Shou had loved him, called him "aniki," stayed by his side to catch some of that light so that he might elevate himself through that borrowed radiance. But that doesn't work anymore, does it? It never did, not the way Shou had wanted to believe. Judai isn't a force in the heavens to worship, Shou understands that now. He's on a level with the rest of them after all.

Maybe Judai is more like the sea that used to surround them at school: inconstant, unknowable, washing in and out of their lives running on hidden rules all his own.

Shou still loves him. Still calls him a brother. But the love he feels for Judai is a different kind of love now. He thinks it's probably the same for Johan, just in a different way.

His cell phone rings, and as Shou scrambles to pick up the call he sees that it's from Ryou. Speaking of brothers.

"Shou. Have you processed the sponsor changes for Ueyama Riyo? His match is booked for tonight, so we need to make sure the names are correct before then."

Shou shuffles through his pile of papers and squawks. "I'll go talk to Hiyama right now!"

"Make sure you do." His elder brother hangs up, trusting Shou to get the task done.

Shou shoots up straight from his seat at the desk and hurriedly collects the papers he needs for Ueyama's agent, looking them over frantically to make sure he hasn't missed any. In the process he knocks over a folder, and lets out a despairing groan as several more sheets of paper and a stamp fall to the ground.

Shou falls to the ground too, trying to pick up the scattered papers in at least a vaguely organized order that won't be a complete headache to sort through once he's back after the sponsor update. As he's picking up the fourth sheet there's a pen in his face, offered to him by a familiar hand.

Right. He'd totally forgotten his guest in the sudden panic.

"I'll be busy for the rest of the afternoon," he tells Johan as he tries to nudge the papers into something like a uniform alignment. "And the evening, too. You should go."

Johan just smiles, standing up to place the pen carefully on his desk. "Hey, I'm not going to just abandon a friend!"

A friend? Are the two of them friends now?

Well, he has to admit, at this point they're not not friends.

"I had plans to stay tonight in the first place," Johan says. "Your brother mentioned Ueyama Riyo, didn't he? The leader of the card thieves mentioned something about his magnet deck, and a couple others belonging to competitors in your league."

"She did?" Oh great, now he's got to worry about card thieves too…

"Judai said it wouldn't be a problem with her gone," Johan assures him. "But it's good to check and be sure, so I wanted to stick around and make sure everything's all right. Besides, you're dueling too tonight, aren't you?"

"I am." Shou almost regrets that fact with everything else that needs to be done, but he is a duelist first.

Johan grins. "I did say back during that year at Duel Academia that I wanted to see what Kaiser Shou is made of."

Shou loosens his grip on the papers for a moment, and one starts to slip out of place. "Huh?"

"Ah…" Johan reaches over to help straighten the papers, picking up a few more and offering them to him. "Your league is all about respect, isn't it? Respecting your opponent, respecting the decks you play…it's good for relationships between fellow duelists, and it's good for relationships between duelists and the spirits that exist alongside them."

"Like my deck," Shou murmurs, reaching for his cards on instinct.

"Exactly!" Johan gives him a brilliant smile as he offers Shou a neat pile of the remaining fallen papers. "I admire what you're doing, Shou. I want to come and cheer you on!"

"I don't need your cheering!" Shou grumbles. "…But, fine, I guess."

He could do worse, for sure.

Johan's eyes flick to seemingly empty space again, and chuckles quietly to himself. "Sapphire Pegasus says good luck."

"...Thanks," Shou tries to say to empty air.

Johan's strange, he thinks as he stands up, but it's a more grounded kind of strange compared to Judai. Johan's world is one that Shou doesn't share, but it is one that Shou thinks he might be beginning to understand a little bit somehow.

If Judai is the sea, then maybe Johan is the earth his gems were excavated from. And Shou walks on solid ground a lot better than he swims.

He puts the fallen papers back in place and grabs the right papers for Ueyama's agent before turning towards the door. "I'll lead the way," he says to Johan. "I can probably get you a seat tonight, too. But you're on your own for refreshments."

Johan laughs as he follows Shou out of the office. "I can work with that."