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Wang Ming was a man in his thirties with a neatly trimmed beard and gold earrings. In the photo studio, he passed his camera to Lu Guang, who recognized him as a returning client.
“These are for another scrapbook project I’m working on. The photos from last time turned out nicely,” Wang Ming said.
Cheng Xiaoshi perked up. “Oh! The ones from your parents’ wedding, right?”
Wang Ming smiled. “Yeah, those were the ones. I’m surprised you remembered.”
“Sure I remember! Weren’t there other photos, too? The ones with your dog, right? How is she doing?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked.
“Actually, she… passed away a few months ago.”
“Oh. I’m… I’m really sorry about that.”
“It’s alright. She was old.”
After they discussed payment, Wang Ming left his camera in the hands of the photo studio; and the day carried on.
* * *
In the dark room, Cheng Xiaoshi observed Wang Ming’s photos hanging on the wall.
“Hey, Lu Guang? Are any of these photos from around the time Wang Ming’s dog passed away?”
“Why are you asking that?”
“I don’t know. Just wondering.”
Lu Guang swept his gaze over the photos in the dim red light. One of them stood out, in which a group of twenty or so people—presumably Wang Ming’s colleagues—were huddled closely around a large table in a restaurant.
“The dinner party. Wang Ming found his dog in his apartment the morning after,” Lu Guang said.
“He wasn’t there when his dog passed?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked.
“No. He seemed to regret it afterward.”
“Oh… Poor guy.” Cheng Xiaoshi gazed at the photo of Wang Ming’s colleagues for a while. “Let’s say, hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to make sure his dog wasn’t alone, you know, before she passed… would that be okay?”
“He didn’t commission us to do that,” Lu Guang said.
“I know, but I wanna check, and… make sure she was comfortable.”
“There’s not much you’ll be able to do.”
“I’ll figure something out. It’ll be like how we delivered Chen Xiao’s messages.”
Lu Guang hesitated. “You don’t have to.”
Cheng Xiaoshi held out his hand. “Will you still guide me?”
It would be a small change in the past in the grand scheme of things. From what Lu Guang could see, Wang Ming had hardly talked during the dinner party, nor had he paid much attention to the conversations around him.
A moment passed. Lu Guang didn’t say no.
* * *
Cheng Xiaoshi took a moment to orient himself as Wang Ming’s colleagues smiled, talked, and laughed around him. The smell of fried noodles and black bean sauce was nothing short of heavenly.
[Remember, you have to make an excuse to leave early,] Lu Guang said from the present.
Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t respond, too busy putting Wang Ming’s camera away in its bag. Maybe he could sneak out without anyone noticing.
“Wang Ming? Are you going somewhere?” a woman across the table asked.
An unbidden memory from Wang Ming surfaced in Cheng Xiaoshi’s mind, allowing him to settle for honesty. “It’s… Chun. I can’t be away from her for too long when she’s still sick.”
A second woman gasped with round, concerned eyes. “But I thought you said she was getting better!”
Cheng Xiaoshi forced a smile. “It comes and goes.”
”At least take some of this with you,” a man said, then waved down a waiter to bring a to-go box.
Three minutes later, Cheng Xiaoshi was on Wang Ming’s electric bike with a to-go bag in the basket. It was dark out, and the city lights illuminated his surroundings. When the light ahead of him turned yellow, he sped up.
[Watch your speed,] Lu Guang warned.
“But Chun—”
[The dog will be fine when you get there.]
Cheng Xiaoshi slowed down as soon as he crossed the intersection. There was a cool evening breeze as he continued pedaling toward Wang Ming’s apartment.
[The dog was still breathing when Wang Ming returned. But if you get into an accident if you’re not paying attention—]
“Alright, fine, I’ll take it slower. I just want to make sure I get there in time.”
[You will. Make a right at the end of the block.]
Ten minutes later, Cheng Xiaoshi arrived at the apartment complex and hastily locked the bike to the rack on the ground floor, almost forgetting the to-go bag, before ascending the stairs to Wang Ming’s floor. It took a couple of tries to find the right key to unlock the door; and when he entered, he placed the to-go bag on the counter before searching for Chun.
[Try not to startle her when you see her,] Lu Guang reminded.
“I know,” Cheng Xiaoshi said.
He turned on the light by the front door, leaving most of the apartment in darkness. He could hear labored breathing at the foot of Wang Ming’s bed, and he quietly approached where Chun was lying in her bed. She was a big Great Dane with a white coat and black spots. Her eyes were screwed shut in sleep, and her belly trembled as it rose and fell. Cheng Xiaoshi felt his chest ache.
“Hey, girl,” he whispered. “I made it as fast as I could.” He knelt on the floor to rub behind Chun’s ears. She grunted in her sleep.
[So… now what?] Lu Guang asked.
Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t help his smile. “Lu Guang without a plan. You love to see it.”
A beat passed. Cheng Xiaoshi half-expected Lu Guang to defend himself about how this wasn’t his idea, and that Wang Ming technically wasn’t supposed to be in the apartment yet. But all he received was silence. A quiet understanding.
Cheng Xiaoshi opened the patio sliding glass door through which he had a decent view of the cityscape from Chun’s bed. Cool air rushed past his face.
“Fresh air ought to be better than a stuffy apartment. Right, Chun?”
Chun blinked her eyes open. She did not move otherwise.
[Wang Ming told you his dog's name?] Lu Guang asked.
“Maybe? I can’t remember how I… Well, it could be from his memory, now that I’m possessing him. Must be a subconscious thing.”
Cheng Xiaoshi grabbed a pair of chopsticks from the kitchen and dumped his takeout on a plate to reheat it in the microwave.
“It’s a good thing you and Wang Ming are the only ones here," Cheng Xiaoshi said to Chun. "I don’t think I could have a dog as big as you taking up so much real estate back in the studio. Lu Guang would definitely not approve.”
In the pantry, Cheng Xiaoshi found a bag of dog food. He dished out a serving in Chun’s bowl and settled against some throw pillows and blankets on the floor beside her, his own plate of food on his lap. He picked out a piece of beef from his noodles and placed it in Chun’s bowl.
“I promise it’s delicious. Dogs like beef, right?”
Chun did not open her mouth.
Cheng Xiaoshi sighed. By the time he finished his food, Chun still had not touched her bowl. He gently scratched her head. Counted her breaths. Beyond the patio, the city glittered with lights.
“It’s a nice evening right now. I’m sure it’s still bright out for you, Lu Guang.”
[Mm. It’s 15:47.]
Cheng Xiaoshi checked Wang Ming’s watch. “Almost 19:30 over here.”
[How’s Chun?]
Cheng Xiaoshi continued to stroke Chun’s head. “She’s still breathing, but it sounds… I don’t know. I hope she’s not in too much pain. I don’t think she can get up on her own.”
Lu Guang was quiet, even in Cheng Xiaoshi’s head: [If it gets too hard, you can always talk to me instead. To keep your mind occupied.]
“No, I… she needs my full attention right now.”
[Alright. I’ll still be here.]
Cheng Xiaoshi smiled. “I know.”
His hand stayed on Chun’s coat.
“So, you might not believe me,” Cheng Xiaoshi said to Chun, “but I’m not actually Wang Ming. I’m a time traveler. Crazy, right?”
Chun stared out past the patio.
“I don’t really know much about this guy. Or you,” Cheng Xiaoshi continued. “But I think Wang Ming took great care of you, didn’t he? I could tell he was really sorry that he couldn’t be here for you. But that’s not going to happen this time. So no more hard feelings between anyone anymore, right?”
He paused. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he remembered people and places he had never seen before. Most of the memories had Chun in them. Others had human faces. Wang Ming’s family, perhaps. The strongest memory showed mountains. Vast, green mountains, with forests and stone cliffs that made him feel insignificant, a speck of dust compared to the world. He saw Chun on the trail ahead of him sniffing the dirt. He felt the weight of a backpack and heard himself shout at Chun, saying don’t eat that, spit it out now, good girl.
There was something else. A river, wide and winding like a snake, cutting through the mountains before him. He remembered being pushed in by someone else, followed by the sound of laughter, and he heard Chun bark as she jumped in after him. The current was not fast, and there was no danger. There was only laughter, the splashing of water, people he should know the names of but did not, mountains so tall that it hurt to look up at them, and Chun.
“You guys went on a backpacking trip, right?” Cheng Xiaoshi said softly. “You remember that, ChunChun?”
Chun rolled over on her side, exposing her belly. Cheng Xiaoshi obliged by rubbing it.
“I don’t know how long ago that was. Maybe it was… a few years ago? You seemed smaller, back then, but I can’t really tell. You’ve always been a big dog. You’re a big, strong girl, you know that? I think Wang Ming was very proud of you.” He kissed the top of Chun’s head. “He loved you so much.”
Chun’s eyelids drooped. She rested her head fully on Cheng Xiaoshi’s lap; and he continued to pet her, even when he had run out of things to say. He leaned down so his cheek rested on the top of her head. Chun’s breaths became harsher, then slower, then still. Cheng Xiaoshi let the stillness calm his mind.
[I’m sorry,] Lu Guang said.
Cheng Xiaoshi raised his head and wiped his eyes. “What?”
[You didn’t… have to do this.]
“You didn’t make me.”
[I know, but… Whenever you’re ready to go, Wang Ming will take care of the rest.]
Cheng Xiaoshi stayed for a few more moments. The last memory he saw—before he returned to the present—was of Chun, running along the hiking trail before him, and disappearing into the forest.
* * *
Wang Ming was at the keyboard when the memories came back to him. He remembered the softness of Chun’s coat—remembered his backpacking trip with his old college friends—remembered the view of the city at night.
“—okay, Wang Ming?” Dong An asked, lowering his bass bow.
Wang Ming glanced at Dong An and the rest of his bandmates, who were all looking at him with similar expressions of concern. Then he realized he had stopped in the middle of his solo.
“Ah, that’s my bad.” Wang Ming let out a nervous laugh. “Got distracted thinking about something else.”
“The music wasn’t that emotional, was it?” Wu Tao joked from where he was seated at the drums.
Song Fen lowered her saxophone. “Are you sure you’ll be ready to play by tonight? I can call Xu Mei so she can fill in for you—”
“No, no, you don’t have to do that. I feel a lot better, actually.” Wang Ming cleared his throat, then smiled his first, real smile since Chun had passed. “How about we take this from the top?”
The others exchanged curious looks with one another before carrying on with their practice. It would be something to talk about at another time.
* * *
Cheng Xiaoshi was feeling restless on the weekend. He took a walk in one of the city’s parks, one with large grassy fields and flower beds and stone-tiled pathways. Lu Guang followed along.
“I forgot how good it feels to be able to stand on your own two feet for over twenty minutes,” Cheng Xiaoshi said.
Lu Guang hummed beside him. In the hospital, they were allowed brief walks outside in the garden once they had mostly healed; but those moments could never compare to the present.
Ahead of them on the path, a woman and her dog were walking towards them. The dog stopped to sniff Lu Guang’s shoes as they crossed paths.
The woman smiled sheepishly. “Sorry about that.”
Cheng Xiaoshi grinned and gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “Oh, no, you’re all good. Actually, is it alright if I pet it?”
“Sure! His name’s Zhenzhen.”
Cheng Xiaoshi eagerly knelt to scratch behind the dog’s head. “Good boy, Zhenzhen!”
Eventually, Lu Guang knelt as well to pet Zhenzhen’s head. The dog was a Shih Tzu, his hair mostly white except for his ears and around his eyes where the hair was black, almost resembling a raccoon.
Suddenly, Zhenzhen licked Lu Guang’s hand and barked at him.
“Aww, he really likes you!” Cheng Xiaoshi said. “Because he knows your name is Guangguang! Zhenzhen wants to wang wang at Guangguang!”
Lu Guang closed his eyes. As if that would do anything to hide the embarrassment showing on his face.
The woman laughed. Eventually, she and Zhenzhen carried on with their walk.
Later, as they walked side by side, Lu Guang saw Cheng Xiaoshi’s smile linger at the edges of his lips—saw his eyes lose focus and shift toward the ground.
“Stop looking at me like that,” Cheng Xiaoshi said.
Lu Guang quickly looked away. “Like what?”
“Like I’m going to start bawling at the sight of every dog I see.”
“That’s not—”
“Yes, Lu Guang. You definitely are.”
They continued walking in silence, and Lu Guang kept his gaze in front of him. He couldn’t be sure what emotion Cheng Xiaoshi saw on his face if he didn’t know the answer himself.
“Can we have a talk for a second?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked. “As in a serious talk?”
Lu Guang hesitated. “About?”
“About… Where do I start? I just—” Cheng Xiaoshi lowered his voice for privacy. “We’ve been through a lot. And we were out of our depth. But for the little things, like taking care of Chun, easing Wang Ming’s regret… I can handle those things. I want to help. I can help.”
“I know that,” Lu Guang said. His voice sounded strained. “It’s not your competence I’m worried about. You don’t have anything left to prove to me.”
“Then what are you worried about?”
Your selflessness, Lu Guang thought. Someday, it’s going to get you killed. It already has.
“You,” Lu Guang answered.
“Why?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked.
“I just am.”
“So you care about me.”
“Too much,” Lu Guang said. It felt like a confession.
Cheng Xiaoshi merely huffed out a laugh. “I believe it. But eventually, something big is going to happen again. Whether we like it or not.”
“I know,” Lu Guang said. “I just wish you weren’t right.”
They kept walking. Lu Guang glanced at Cheng Xiaoshi’s hand idly swinging by his side and wondered if he should reach for it. He wondered whether he should savor every breathing moment with the one person he cared about most, or distance himself so that the pain will be less when he inevitably fails again. He wondered whether the latter was even an option anymore because he was too far gone already.
And then Lu Guang felt Cheng Xiaoshi’s arm around his shoulders. As if Lu Guang was the one who needed protection.
“Well, until that day,” Cheng Xiaoshi said, “we have got to have an actual vacation.”
Lu Guang sighed. “We can’t afford a vacation.”
“I’m not saying we have to get on a cruise, or anything like that. A ferry tour for a couple of hours could fit within our budget. We could get a nice view of the city from the water. Or we could do some historical sightseeing. Save some money for splurging on the best food you’ve ever had for a day. Visit the countryside and forget what a photo studio looks like for a week.”
“Is our serious talk over now?” Lu Guang asked dryly.
“Nope! Knowing you, I bet you’d treat vacations with the utmost seriousness.”
“I’d help you plan the trip,” Lu Guang admitted.
Cheng Xiaoshi beamed. “You will?”
“Someone has to make sure we don’t overspend.”
Cheng Xiaoshi laughed softly, his arm still wrapped around Lu Guang’s shoulders. Lu Guang savored the warmth, every last second of it, before Cheng Xiaoshi withdrew his arm. Side by side, they continued their walk through the city, all the way back to the photo studio.