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Buck sat alone in his apartment, confused about what had just happened. Tommy had broken up with him? He had been so excited. It was their six month anniversary. They were having a good time.
“I’m not your last.”
“I’m not your last.”
“I’m not your last.”
What did that even mean? Fuck if he knew. He was so…bewildered… by how this had even happened. This always happened. No one ever stayed. He always messed it up.
Not only did he feel completely unwanted, but he was proven time after time that no one he cared about actually did want him enough to stay. He was alone.
Again.
Still.
Always.
Buck didn’t know what to do now. What does one do when they started their evening thinking that they would be celebrating their anniversary by having their boyfriend move in only to now be boyfriend-less and heartbroken?
He didn’t want to be alone. Where could he be not alone?
He sat for a second then jumped up to grab a pack of beer from the fridge.
—
Buck rang the doorbell and waited as muffled music played from behind the door. When the door opened, He wordlessly handed his friend a beer and made himself at home on the couch. They sat without preamble, Buck trying to keep his composure. He knew he was supposed to be sad, but the longer he sat there as they sipped their beers and listened to ‘Old Time Rock and Roll’ while Eddie sat pants-less next to him… well, he was starting to feel not so upset anymore.
As the song ended Buck turned to face Eddie. “Uh, were you doing Risky Business?”
“I’m trying something out,” Eddie replied between sips.
“Oh yeah?”
“It’s my favorite movie,” Eddie smiled nostalgically.
“Suddenly it all makes perfect sense.” It didn’t. Buck was thoroughly confused.
They both stared at the tv, which was off. And not currently playing Risky Business.
“We broke up. Me and Tommy”
“Damn. I’m sorry Buck,” another beat of silence. “What happened?”
Buck recounted the evening’s events, and was proud that he was able to keep his composure the entire time.
“And you know what the funniest part is? He gifted me tickets to the Lakers game on Friday. Which means he hadn’t planned on breaking up with me, right? It just, came out of nowhere.”
“You hate basketball.”
“Yeah, but it could have been fun. The food, the entertainment, the kiss cam”
“I could go with you. If you still want to go.”
“You hate crowds,” Buck reminded Eddie. Which is why he didn’t want to even offer the tickets to Eddie in the first place. He knew how triggering big crowds could be for Eddie.
Eddie continued, “Yeah but I-”
“-love basketball,” Buck finished for him.
“And, It could be fun,” Eddie shrugged.
“Really?” Buck wasn’t super convinced. He was almost positive that Eddie was just trying to cheer him up.
“Yeah, but let’s get food before we go. The food’s way overpriced at the arena.”
—
Buck picked Eddie up that Friday afternoon and they headed toward the arena. As always, Buck used this time to update Eddie on facts from the latest dinosaur documentary he had watched the before bed the previous night as a way to destress.
“And, there are around 700 known species. They all went extinct like 66 MILLION years ago.”
“What about birds?”
“True. I mean. All non-avians.”
“There’s a spot,” Eddie pointed out a spot across from the bar that was miraculously free. Buck pulled into the spot and they headed into the sports bar.
Buck and Eddie ate wings, they bantered, and laughed. And Buck was sure that this was the happiest he’d been for days. After too many wings and actually not many drinks, Eddie stopped Buck mid-sentence after glancing at his phone.
“And then Chim said -“
“Uh, Buck. The game started like, 20 minutes ago.”
“Oh my god, we should go!”
Eddie settled their bill and they swiftly exited onto the street only for Buck to stop abruptly and grab onto Eddie’s arm to prevent him from crossing the street. And there it was. His car, parked under a sign he hadn't seen: NO PARKING.
“Is that a boot?” There was a big yellow clamp stuck on his car tire. Buck panicked for a second, not just because they were going to miss the game, but because it was a reminder of all the other parking tickets he’d yet to pay off.
“Yeah, but it’s fine. I got one of these like, last year and you just have to call a number and pay the your fines and a fee and they give you a code to unlock it,” Eddie added, as if it were just that easy.
Great. Perfect. Amazing. “Eddie. This is like, my fifth parking violation this year. And I haven’t paid any of my ticket,” Buck sighed and closed his eyes in annoyance at himself. As always, he was just creating problem after problem for himself. He just couldn’t do anything right. “We’re not gonna make the game,” he added dejectedly.
Eddie leaned over and bumped Buck’s left shoulder with his right one. “I got ya. Come on.” He started to cross the street but looked back to see Buck still standing on the sidewalk. He lifted his eyes and ushered buck forward with a turn of his head and a mischievous. “Where’s your spare?”
Buck stood on the side of of the road and watched as Eddie unloaded the spare tire and tire kit from his car. Sure, Buck could change a tire, but he wasn’t very good at it. He should probably be better at it but he honestly had always just called for roadside service whenever he had a flat tire. He didn’t think a standard tire-change would fix this. He didn’t even think the tire could be removed with the boot attached.
“How are you even doing this? Aren’t those things meant to be unmovable?”
“I’ve done this before, don’t worry,” Eddie replied far too casually. Buck wanted to dig deeper into that because, what?
Then, Eddie began slamming a screwdriver at the tire with so much force that the entire car was shaking. He repeated this for a few moments until the tire started to deflate.
“What the fuck,” Buck whispered mostly to himself. He continued to watch as Eddie did his thing, arms moving deftly around the tire and the boot, using the tool kit items with skill and, probably, not with their intended purpose.
Five minutes later and Buck’s spare was attached to his car, the old tire with the boot still on thrown to the side of the curb.
“Do you think this is illegal?” Buck finally chimed in.
With a little bit of a frantic voice, Eddie wiped his hands on his pants, “Buck, we gotta go right now.”
They hopped into the car and Buck sped off toward the arena, both laughing from the adrenaline rush of fleeing the scene of their crime. When they’d put a few blocks between them and the old tire, Eddie looked over at Buck. “It’s not illegal, Buck. I’d never do something illegal. I have a silver star.”
They both started laughing even harder.
—
There were no issues getting into the game as they scanned their tickets at the entrance. Once they were inside, Buck turned to Eddie. “Popcorn?”
“Popcorn,” Eddie agreed. “And, ice cream.”
Weird, Buck thought. Eddie didn’t usually like sweet things like ice cream.
Unfortunately, their seats were amazing. Section 112, toward the middle. A great view, close to the floor. Buck internally groaned as they sat and watched the game, the feelings of dread returning when he thought too much about how much Tommy had spent on these seats.
Eddie must have noticed his mood change because suddenly he bumped Buck’s shoulder and offered up his ice cream. “Want some?” He handed the bowl over to Buck and Buck looked at it. The very top had a scoop missing already. Buck took a spoonful into his mouth.
“Thanks”, he said while savoring the swirl of chocolate and vanilla. But Eddie was already refocused on the game.
As the game progressed, Buck enjoyed his ice cream and watched the crowd. Occasionally, Eddie would jump up and animatedly cheer for a score or boo at a bad call. Buck was satisfied to just feel the energy of the crowd. If he could focus on the excited energy of those around him, on Eddie’s passion for the game, then he felt lighter. His eyes closed and he listened to the hum of the arena.
“Buck, are you awake?”
“Huh?” He replied weakly without opening his eyes.
“Your ice cream is getting on your shirt,” Eddie replied and Buck could hear amusement in his voice.
Buck opened his eyes. “Dammit,” he muttered and Eddie handed him a napkin.
“You missed the kiss cam,” Eddie mentioned.
“Was it a good pick?”
“Uhhhh, yeah. I mean it was just some guy and probably his wife? They didn’t want to kiss on camera but the crowd started chanting for them and they did.”
Buck’s mind wandered. If Tommy had been here, would they have kissed for the kiss cam? He felt like they would have been picked.
Then his mind wandered somewhere it never had before. What if…what if… no.
But maybe.
What if the camera. If it had…
The thought was forming very slowly as if scared to materialize into Buck’s brain. What if…the kiss cam had chosen… what if it had landed on them… on him and Eddie? He internally rolled his eyes at himself but his heart rate had increased at the taboo-ness of the idea. What a stupid idea. Eddie is straight.
“Next time I’ll wake you up for the kiss cam,” Eddie added, interrupting Buck’s deep thought so much that he jumped a little in his seat.
Buck stayed awake to watch the rest of the game with Eddie. There wasn’t another kiss cam, but it was fun watching the crowd and fun watching Eddie jump out of his seat and cheer when the Lakers won. He grabbed Buck’s arm and pulled him up as well and Buck clapped along with the crowd. He was definitely warming up to Basketball.
—
As he drove Eddie home, Buck felt so at peace. He felt warm and calm.
“Thanks for going to the game with me, by the way. It was fun. Next time, maybe we don’t do crime on the way to the arena,” he laughed at the absurdity of their night.
“Next time, let’s go to the Natural History Museum instead. I heard they have a great dinosaur exhibit,” Eddie suggested.
There it was again. Buck’s heart was beating a bit heavier. Was this what it felt like to have a friend who cared about your interests?
“I wonder what type of crime we can do before going there,” Buck joked. They glanced at each other while laughing.
Buck felt giddy. He felt alive and happy. Not alone.
He felt something else too. Something he couldn’t put into words and couldn’t quite form into a thought. But he knew it felt good, and he wanted to keep pulling that feeling out, somehow.