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Most of Ei's memories often seem blurred, dazed, and fast-paced. Of course, this slowly started to take a toll on her mind as it caused her erosion to worsen bit by bit, leading her to spiral into an abyss of despair and confusion.
However, each memory or dream that crossed her mind carried a certain pattern that Ei could not shake off.
Makoto.
But more specifically, Makoto's back always turned on her.
She remembered the days when Makoto would be sitting on a wooden edge, staring forward as an umbrella hovered over her. Ei would usually be behind her, staring at her sister's back, sharpening her weapons, or even trying out different tunes on the zither in her hands while humming.
It was always comfortable for Ei. She enjoyed the silent company of her sister even if she was not looking directly at her.
"Makoto," Ei whispered, crawling over to her older sister as she paused in her tracks and sat a few inches away. "Would you like me to play another melody?"
Makoto said nothing as she continued to hold her umbrella and fumble with it. The lack of response hurt Ei, amplifying her loneliness and boredom. She sat there, placing the instrument down before curling up into a ball and hanging her head low.
"... Makoto,"
No response.
"Do you see that moon? It's shining pretty bright tonight." Just like she used to.
Makoto still said nothing, but Ei could feel that she was smiling at the comment upon watching the umbrella hover in her direction.
Ei stared up at the umbrella, clutching her bandaged hands together before slowly pushing it back to her sister. "No, you need it... To keep yourself warm. It's cold tonight,"
"Play the melody you were humming this morning."
Ei's gaze softened as she sat up properly with a small smile, tugging her lips. "Alright, Makoto..."
The atmosphere of the room shifted to one of calm and melodiousness as Ei continued to move her fingertips against each string carefully. Her back leaned against Makoto's, staring down at the wooden floorboards with a relaxed yet pensive facial expression.
"What do you call this melody, Ei?"
Ei paused, setting her hand down while pondering Makoto's question. She tapped against the wooden instrument, shrugging. "I.. I am not certain yet," she muttered under her breath before going back to playing the rest of the music.
The hesitation in Ei's tone forced a chuckle out of Makoto's lips, looking up at the bright moon as she noted grey clouds covering it up slowly.
Ei felt uncomfortable at the sudden silence. She hung her head low, closing her eyes as she tried to think of a way to break the ice. Her bandaged hand gripped tightly around the tiny guitar's handle, trying to contain her emotions.
“I might name it… The Moon,” Ei placed a hand on her chest. “Did you really enjoy the melody, Makoto?”
“It is beautiful, sister. And the name is indeed fitting,” Makoto nodded, keeping her gaze forward while swinging her legs back and forth.
With a sigh, the kagemusha placed the instrument aside and ran a hand through her hair out of exhaustion and sadness. She knew better than to question her precious sister's lack of response, yet the act never failed to wound her and leave her in such disorientation.
Slowly, she stood up with the wooden floorboards squeaking loudly under her sandals. Her eyes lingered to Makoto's back once more as if contemplating something.
“Sister,” she walked up to Makoto, kneeling down before feeling an arm rest around her nape. Her eyes widened, averting back to her sister, who slowly pulled her into a soft yet firm embrace.
Ei watched the umbrella fall over next to the zither, feeling Makoto rest her chin on her shoulder while hugging. Letting out a sigh, Ei wrapped her arms around her sister's, closing her eyes.
The scent of sakura cherry blossom entered Ei's nostrils as the warmth touch slowly eased her tension. A tired smile appeared on her face while keeping the embrace going.
She still could not see Makoto's face.
She tried to pull away, but Makoto remained hidden and stubbornly close to her shoulder.
It was annoying, but Ei could not complain.
The memory was stuck to her up until this day. The mere sight of a zither guitar slightly triggered something within her, but she kept her composure.
There were many other memories that she had of Makoto hiding herself or remaining as distant as possible, using political affairs as an excuse to keep herself busy.
So much that Ei had forgotten her looks. Yes, they were identical twins, but it was not the same. They still looked slightly different due to their contrasting personalities that impacted their facial expressions.
Nowadays, a mixture of guilt and hurt stirred up in her chest every time Ei looked back at the memory.
Guilt for believing that she could have helped Makoto more and tried to communicate with her about their thoughts and feelings instead of resorting to disagreements or avoiding one another for days.
Hurt for wondering whether or not Makoto actually saw her as a sister rather than a rusty weapon.
Ei remained resentful and angry at Makoto's reckless decision for centuries. The resentment grew as she kept thinking about how her twin had the audacity to keep everything a secret from her, and how she barely treated her like a sister shou—
Her thoughts paused as Ei snapped back to reality, taking a deep breath. She stared down at the rusty strings of the dusty zither in her shaky hands. Her eyes were slightly glossy, running her fingertips against them to get a sense of nostalgia, but all it did was play an obnoxious noise and gave an uncomfortable texture that made her wince.
Maybe Makoto did see Ei as her sister, soulmate and best friend, who knows?
“Ow, I definitely chipped a nail…”