Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Becker breathed out as slowly as he could, remaining barely composed as he submitted himself to the dressing down Lester was giving him. He kept his shoulders straight, head down.

“That's enough Captain!” He refused to flinch as Lester slammed his hands down onto the desk, hard. "This has gone on too far!"

If this was what he considered too far… Becker bit back a scoff. Lester had barely scratched the surface of how deep Becker had gotten himself. 

It was that new guy, Matt, who had gone snooping around and found the stash of documents that Becker dared to keep in the office. It hadn't even been that bad, only three folders full. He keeps the majority of his work at home. Becker could admit his house was starting to look not dissimilar to a conspiracy nut's lair.

"I believe it's within my job description to keep tabs on our major threats..." Becker argued quietly. 

"Tabs? I have found out from Helen Cutter’'s childhood bloody neighbours that you have been bloody interrogating them."

Becker didn't bother defending himself. Lester was just as aware of all the crimes Helen had committed as he was. If Lester wasn't convinced of the need to act already, what could he say?

Lester wasn't getting the response he wanted from Becker and sighed. "I do not wish to lose another member of this team." Lester’s jaw clicked closed like he hadn’t meant to say that and although he said nothing more, Becker thought the man was leaving the space for any semi - logical reason to let Becker stay. Pleading for it in fact, in lieu of the alternative.

"I'll go pack my desk." Becker began to murmur. Or tried to as an anomaly alarm went off at that exact moment.

Lester looked a little relieved. "We will talk when you get back." He decided. "Get your head on straight."

"Sir." Becker acknowledged with a sharp nod. He closed the office door quietly behind him. 

On his way back through the Arc, he passed by a new acquaintance of his.

"Good morning, Captain Becker. Keep safe today!" Jess said brightly. Becker kept his eyes to her left. He couldn't stand being around her. She was sweet and bubbly and when he looked at her, all he saw was the next person he’d fail to keep safe.

Becker forced himself to be a grownup and after taking a deep fortifying breath he gave the gentlest smile he could manage while swallowing the ball of self loathing clogging his throat.

"Thank you, Jess." He replied quietly, his heart pounded in his head as he continued on down the corridor. He went to the store room and armoury. He took several things he wasn't supposed to take and got ready to receive Matt's instructions on this new anomaly.

—

The new team were all basically strangers to Becker. It was hard keeping people on payroll once they were faced with the brutality only a dinosaur or future predator can bestow and turnover was now common.

Becker had no one left he trusted to have his back. He certainly didn't trust Matt when the man tried empty words to win him over. Good leaders didn’t need to convince people to their side. They simply needed to do the right thing, to try and save people, and Becker would be right alongside.

These days he constantly felt like he was hovering outside his body. He’d lost his sense of purpose and was struggling to find something, anything to orient himself. 

So in his mess of thoughts he'd made something of a plan.

Honestly he didn't know why he was doing what he was planning on doing but somehow he was doing it anyway. At this point he just needed something, anything, to stop the emptiness and pain.

So, as the new team worked fast to set up the locking device that Connor had pioneered to encase the anomalies and 3 medium sized dinosaurs laid dead at their feet with no Abby being furious at the soldiers for killing them. Becker began to hover so close to the anomaly, could feel the magnetism start to yank on his gun and dog tags, except it didn't matter as there was no Danny around to point out how unusual Becker's behaviour was and pull him back. And then Sarah… oh god Sarah…who wasn't just missing in action… who was…

She was gone and it was all his fault.

In his hand he had a backpack full of supplies for camping. He had an anomaly detector and the plans memorised to build another. He'd had this idea in the back of his mind for a while now but it never felt real.

…He was probably walking to his death. 

Just like Connor, Abby, Sarah, Danny. They all walked through an anomaly and they never came back. He failed to protect them. Maybe they were still alive, maybe they weren't.

But Becker didn't feel like he was facing his death. He felt cornered and this was his last route to escape. It was this or nothing.

Becker ground his teeth and straightened his back. He couldn't move on with his life and he didn't want to end it either. So he walked straight through the anomaly before anyone could know to stop him. He would live through this, even if it made him suffer. This was his only way forward.

…

Twenty minutes later, Lester got the news from Matt. He'd lost another of his staff to the anomalies. He regretted not firing Becker sooner. At least the man might still have been alive to yell at.

Chapter Text

~165 million BC - Jurassic Period

Becker age 22

Becker landed from the anomaly into a mountain area where keeping dry was tricky. Lots of bugs that he had no clue about but which were large enough for him to spot  and not provoke into biting him.

He had basic survivalist training but it was not something he was passionate about. Collecting rainwater and keeping warm took up all his time. His meals were mainly made of mango-like fruit. He was relieved when he practically fell through the next anomaly into his second jump. He only went back through to the rainy era to grab his supplies and get back out again. Overall Becker's first jump lasted around four miserable months total of him wondering if he had made the biggest mistake of his life. But at least the newness of the situation kept him distracted from his other pain.

With this new anomaly, he spent the next two weeks on a beach getting sunburn. Plenty of fish that didn't look too different to what they evolved into. It wasn't altogether unpleasant. It gave him too much time to think. He studied the anomaly detector, with nothing else to read. He wondered what he was doing here. Was he looking for Connor, Abby and Quinn? Was he looking for Helen? He was unlikely to find either. History was a big place. What was he looking for?

His next anomaly took him to a sparse desert which was the least fun so far. 

Surviving and anomaly jumping became his new normal. After another two, five, seven jumps, they all started to blur together. He could almost guess where the next anomaly would appear, it felt like a loose pattern, though the detector was still all that was keeping him sane. Without that detector, he was scared he'd never find another anomaly again despite getting a better feel for them.

They weren't all bad. Some time periods were beautiful. He once swam in a pool under a waterfall so he'd feel clean, on another he'd hike to the highest spots and see beautiful sunsets while trying to spot the sparkle of his next way out.

He only started thinking beyond survival again however when he landed in the far off apocalyptic future. An entire suburb of red bricked buildings reduced to rubble and reclaimed by nature. He remembered this place from his nightmares. The home of the future predators. The way they'd intelligently hunted him and wished dearly to tear him to shreds.

Someone had already set up a base here. Along with tech that he recognised like a Motorola but it looked much newer than the light fixtures and plumbing despite everything else being more advanced.

It was when he found the basement of the warehouse that he knew for sure. It was filled with large water suspension tanks, all filled by the same man over and over again. A person he had shot in the face a lifetime ago. This was Helen's clone army and that meant Helen Cutter was nearby.

Becker went through Helen’s notes. He didn’t understand most of it. It was like mystical mumbo jumbo mixed with a palaeontology textbook. He took what seemed important. Then set the place up with the C4 he conveniently found stored in the back for a special occasion. That woman was a right piece of work. As he blew up her futuristic hide away, he only regretted she wasn’t inside as well.

—

~3500 AD - Future 

Becker waited for Helen's return. But waiting had its perils. He almost got taken out by a pack of future predators, one day. He absolutely hated them. Their claws tore chunks off him and the blood he left behind meant they were relentless in following him. Eventually he had to expend the last of his bullets putting them in the ground.

That’s when he got his first look at Helen. While he was bleeding out on the ground from the claw marks on his arms and chest.

He saw her watching him fight for his life from a ledge. She had been drawn by the gunfire, confused about why he was there in the empty future. Becker aimed at her head before remembering he was out of ammo with an empty click. She took off. Becker followed at a slower pace. 

He had to withdraw sooner than he wanted to. He really needed to take care of his wounds before they got infected. He was exhausted and in pain. In this state even Connor might have been able to take him down, which was just sad, really. He found a place to rest.

Chapter Text

~3500 AD - Future 

Becker age 24

He tracked her down once he was somewhat recovered. She was heading for the same anomaly he was. It had been the only one to activate since their last encounter so Becker knew she'd be there. Unfortunately she got there first. He chased her through the anomaly surprisingly into…modern England? 

It was winter. He hadn’t felt fresh tarmac under his feet in so long, he almost slipped on some icy slush. The snow topped brick buildings looked like the UK. He chased her for eight blocks through suburban houses. He finally got close enough to corner her.

She glanced around calculating her limited options, searching for a way out. It was obvious when she found something. Her eyes, which were usually so cold and reptilian, suddenly gleamed with triumph.

Becker moved the same moment she did, desperate to stop whatever she was about to do. He leaped a fence intent to meet her halfway but a car driving along caused him to falter. 

Helen beat him to her prize. A young teenager; her new hostage.

Becker pointed his gun at the ground, horrified.

"Let the kid go, Helen!" He demanded. Seeing another person was such a shock after years in isolation. He didn't register that Helen or the clones should have counted in that but did not.

"Put down your gun." She challenged calmly. When Becker hesitated, Helen twisted the boy in her grip so the kid faced Becker and she placed a knife to his throat. "Now!" She smirked. The knife dug into the kid's neck.

"Please don't..." The boy begged.

Becker was so angry. Mostly that she was right. He wasn't going to let her hurt a kid. He knelt on the snow in front of Helen. Placing his gun on the ground at his side.

"Good boy." Helen praised. "Slide it over."

Baring his teeth, he did as she said. Hypnotised, watching how blood dripped from the shallow cut on the kid's neck.

She laughed. "I don't even know how you got here. I'd guess you were one of the Arc's cannon fodder but you don't even recognise him, do you? Cutter's "Pet"."

Becker scanned the kid's face, trying to understand what she meant. The kid gazed back at him with petrified soft brown eyes and bunny teeth that reminded him of… "Connor?" Becker felt sick to his stomach. 

Helen made a silent ‘oh’ sound in gleeful mockery, pleased she'd figured him out after all.

He’d been travelling through time for years but it never occurred to him that his own past existed just as much as the prehistoric. Connor had always seemed young, despite technically being older than Becker. He hadn’t been able to imagine Connor any younger. Now he didn’t have to.

"So you are from the Arc… however, I fail to believe Nick would have the balls to kill me,  so who are you and what do you want?" She loosened her grip on Connor so she could pick up his gun, determined to interrogate him further. The idiot kid decided this was the best time to try and tackle her with less than 100 lbs to his twig like self. Helen easily grasped Connor's arm and twisted his momentum against him so his head caught the edge of a garden wall with a sickening thud. Becker felt his heart fall to his stomach in horror.

He leapt to his feet and tried to lunge forward but Helen stalled him with his gun to his forehead. She smiled as she pulled the trigger. Until it clicked empty of course because Becker had been using it as a threat but he still had been out of ammo.

She kept his gun but threw her knife at his head. It wasn't her best aim and Becker managed to dodge. She disappeared down the road but Becker couldn't chase her right then, he was by Connor's side in an instant. 

There was a lot of blood. Head wounds were the worst.

"Jeez, Conn." He huffed. "Look at me. Open your eyes." He cupped the kid's face. He was so cold from the weather and unresponsive but his pulse was strong and fast. He glanced back in a panic trying to see which way Helen went. They were gathering a crowd of onlookers now who saw the commotion.

Looking down, young Connor still wasn't moving. He yanked his jacket off and pressed it gently against the head wound.

"Connor, wake up. Connor, please." Becker pleaded. He didn't do all this to lose one of his team before they had even met. His free hand was big enough to cover the kid's scrawny neck, he used his thumb to swipe blood away from the knife wound but thankfully it was still pretty shallow. Better than his head wound.

Connor blinked up at him bleary-eyed, making pathetic noises and raising his hand automatically to his head wound. He just ended up covering Becker's hand which was using his jacket to stem the blood.

Becker took Connor's hand and pressed it into the jacket so he could hold it for himself and kept his own hand over Connor's to keep the pressure up. He turned to one of the strangers congregating.

"Has someone called an ambulance?!" He shouts.

"Ow." Connor winces in pain at the loud noise.

Becker reprimands himself in his mind but doesn't say sorry. "Can you tell me your name? What year is it?"

Connor frowned. "You already know my name." The kid valiantly accused, slurring slightly. 

Becker leans back, broadcasting his guilt with the move. But when he tries to disengage, Connor catches his arm with clingy uncoordinated limbs. "What… no…who are you?" 

"Someone just trying to help." Becker tried to reassure. He peeled Connor's fingers off of him. They were so cold in the winter air, his heart panged. "Stay out of trouble. And stay away from that woman if you see her again." He ordered.

He stood up and left despite teen Connor's protests. He had to stop Helen. He chased her as fast as he could, predicting her destination as the anomaly they had come in. But all it got him was seeing the flickering remains as an anomaly closed in his face. Trapping him in the past…in winter …with no jacket and no supplies left, just his detector and backpack.

Just great. 

He had a suspicion in which direction the next anomaly would appear. He set out on a long trek, ignoring people's terrified looks at the state of him. 

A man covered in blood didn't come across well in the modern day.  Who knew?

Chapter Text

Location: Triassic, cretaceo…Londo…finding…

Becker age 25

At the centre of every spiral of anomalies, there came a spaghetti junction, where Becker had more choices of where to land and could backtrack easily because these portals lasted days instead of seconds.

There were smaller spirals of course becoming part of the bigger spirals. But the two main junctions were prehistoric and London in the new millenia. No wonder Helen always came back to these places.

Becker was lost for another year testing this theory out. This wasn’t his field of study like Cutter and Helen and you could maybe call it sheer stubbornness but Becker couldn't face giving up. What was behind him scared him more than going forward ever could. He couldn't go back to being alone.

So he took another step forward, then another.

—

1999 AD London

Connor - age 16

Stephen Hart - age 21

Nick Cutter - age 37

Stephen Hart didn't know what to think of Connor Temple at first. The teenager was extremely young compared to the usual university students who followed them around but Connor insisted he was just fascinated with evolutionary zoology and the kids extensive database of historic creatures certainly supported that. He begged and begged to be Nick's new lab tech despite being under the age of the students he usually taught.

Stephen thought Nick secretly liked Conner even though it was clearly against his will. He caught his friend smirking when Connor did something especially ridiculous, despite always trying his best not to not encourage the kid and instead shoo him away.

It was nice to see his friend smile. He hadn't done much of that since Helen went missing. One memorable time, Connor made a pun about evolution that made Nick spit his coffee out and choke for about a minute and then pretend to cry out his suffering into his arm on his desk. Stephen hadn't understood a word of it but he decided in that moment that Connor was staying.

The kid's computer skills were certainly a boon in class preparation and setting up projectors and eventually the kid became an essential third party, like their unofficial little brother. Full of geeky facts, insane conspiracy theories and optimism.

…

One day, he caught Connor going through video feed from a static filled CCTV. The kid was a terrible liar when asked about it and gave up the truth with barely any intimidation. He said he was looking into where Cutter's wife may have gone when she disappeared.

The police had already gone over all this footage at the time and Connor admitted he wasn't having much luck either but he wanted to try. Stephen smiled warmly at the kid and ruffled his hair. Connor was so earnest.

He promised to keep it a secret between them. Cutter didn’t have to know.

—

London 2004 AD

Becker age 25

Becker caught Helen's trail again after what he guessed was eight months. Managed to maintain it for another week before she lost him again in London 2004.

Except this London was not how he left it.

The world had rearranged itself in his absence and now…

… he didn't exist in this world…

No matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find his original child self here at all. No record of his birth parents, though he'd been estranged from them since before he could remember. No birth certificate, no national insurance, no nothing.

It… may have caused… some part of him …distress. However his practical mind, which he had been surviving off these last few years shut the feeling down immediately. His existential dread didn't matter. He didn't matter. It's not like he had been able to save anyone when he had existed. He will try harder this time.

A little lockpicking and he invaded an empty condemned looking flat that used to be his. Its existence seemed equally lost to the landlord's knowledge, going by the state of it. He didn't know where to start looking for Helen but knew she would always come back to modern London eventually. He might as well wait here and prepare.

Lying down on the dusty floor was hardly ideal but it felt just as good as it was awful. He was so bone tired. His brain was filled with fever dreams that night, trying to work through an unsolvable problem of what he bloody thought he was doing, chasing after a nutter through anomalies.

He awoke, his body feeling worse than ever sleeping on the floor but his mind a little clearer, after being able to sleep deeply without fear of future or past predators.

He suspected by now that he'd mainly gone through that first anomaly because he couldn't bear to be on one side of it while his team was on another. Then after the first anomaly, he'd had to keep going because he'd never found himself where he truly wanted to be.

But he realised, now, he technically, finally was. His team was here, they were alive. They may be a bit young and not remember him. If he had been erased like Claudia Brown, there was a possibility they wouldn't have been able to remember him anyway even if he had appeared later.

He had three years to get prepared for the first anomaly recorded by Dr Cutter. He would protect them this time. A second chance.

—

There were plenty of people in London who were happy to pay him under the table to be hired muscle. And he got a decent reputation because he was good at it.

He was introduced to people who could provide him with quality forgeries of the paperwork he would need to exist. A birth certificate, a passport, a driving licence and some other details to fool an in depth background check.

From there, he then had to figure out the best place to put himself to ensure he was front and centre for the Arc recruitment when they came around.

Working his way up to homeland in a few short years. He'd need to work hard and it would also be a miracle. However it was his best bet back onto the team.

Chapter Text

London 2004 AD

Connor 21

Stephen 26

Nick Cutter 42

21 year old Connor flopped onto the sofa and his head into Stephen's lap. Stephen barely got his book out of the way of being crushed. He smacked a hand on Connor's forehead in retaliation.

"Ow!" Connor complained. "Have I not been wounded enough today?"

"That girl was 3 years older than you with a boyfriend. Whatever compelled you to ask her out?" Stephen asked unsympathetically. But he didn't shove Connor off his lap and continued to read his book one handed resting on Connor's chest.

"All girls hate me, Stephen. It wouldn't have mattered." Connor whined. "Besides the minute they see you, I might as well not exist."

Stephen smirked, not arguing the fact as he turned a page.

Cutter overheard Connor complaining even before he entered his office. He made them jump as he included: "There are plenty of girls out there. Maybe try the ones who aren't taken next time." He said, revealing he'd also heard about Connor's epic train wreck of a day. Connor groaned in embarrassment.

"Maybe I will go gay." Connor mused. He stared up at Stephen. "Stephennnn…?" He raised his tone as a question.

Stephen smiled and brought their noses close together to jibe. "You're not my type." He then patted him faux consolingly on the forehead, in the same sore spot he hit before.

"Stephen!" Connor complained. He sulked but wasn't really hurt. He loved Stephen so much and sometimes he thought he was hot but it was barely more than a passing thought. He let out a big sigh.

"If you're done with your teenage melodrama, come see this fish I found." Cutter said, already clearing off his desk and putting a new fossil carefully upon it. "I think this will bring a breakthrough for our theory, Connor."

"What, really?" Connor jumped up out of Stephen’s lap, jostling him again. Stephen rolled his eyes and curled back up with his book.

As Nick explained, Connor nodded enraptured. His earlier embarrassment all but forgotten. Nick used to try and explain these things to Stephen instead. And while Stephen kept up and would remember what he said, he could see his lack of passion slightly frustrated Nick. 

Nick pressed Connor's fingers to a ridge on the edge of the fossil and Connor's head nodded so fast in agreement he looked like a bobblehead. Nick’s smile glowed so proud. Stephen smiled too. He went back to his book to read but now with a low Scottish rumble in the background, he felt warm and content.

—

London 2006

Becker age 27

Shared accommodation

"Becker. That's not yours." Captain Ryan warned as he grabbed a coffee and sat opposite him at the kitchen table.

Becker paused in his cleaning and looked at what he was holding. It was Mike's pistol and he didn't remember taking it. Becker tried to shoot a glare at his teammate but it seemed he had scarpered out the room when the Captain appeared.

"Sorry, sir." Becker said. He'd been told off a few times for taking over other people's jobs and being a terror in his drive to be constantly doing something. He put the gun down and moved his hands under the table out of reach.. 

However he must have twitched or something with anxiety because Ryan sighed. "You can finish." He generously allowed.

Becker picked up his cleaning tool with relief.

"Honestly, this place has never been this clean, even when we first moved in. And you've been here, what, three months?" Ryan said.

"Somewhat." Becker agreed, focusing on the movement of his hands.

"I would like to ask you a personal question, if I may. Please feel free to tell me to go to hell if you don't want to answer." Ryan offered. Becker looked at him surprised. His new captain liked a calm, loyal atmosphere but he didn't usually encourage this level of familiarity.

"Sir?"

Ryan kept his gaze for a long minute, seeming to look for the right words. "Is there something you are running from?"

Becker blinked, baffled. "No?"

A crease between Captain Ryan's brows smoothed out. "You're aiming for something, then?" He asked in a lighter tone.

Becker's eyes flicked away back down to Mike's gun. "Perhaps." Captain Ryan had been worried about him and he felt pressured to give him some reassurance. "I hate waiting and I hate being still." He admitted.

Ryan thought about it a moment. "Are you waiting for anything I can help with?" Prying without prying too much.

Becker smiled and clicked the gun parts together. "No."