Chapter Text
Journal Entry 67
Everything has gone horribly wrong… I never thought that things would have become so utterly miserable for me. One day I’m trying to figure out the mysteries of our world, getting closer and closer to getting the truth, only to then encounter a dangerous cult group that threatened to take me down because “I knew too much,” and because I wasn’t willing to listen to their religious babble.
Who would do such a thing? Especially when the god they seemed to admire and praise appeared to have the shape of a triangle, one that had a single eye on the front of it. It looked like something a child would draw in their free time as a sketch, just something completely preposterous and foolish. I do not believe in any sort of higher presence or power in general already, so to think that a new proposed god was one of a triangle would be able to convince me of joining their cult was just ridiculous.
What I didn’t anticipate however was that me taking action and defending myself from an oppressive and antagonistic attack would result in me being labeled as a criminal. A murderer at that! I never wanted to become such an awful figure that only sends fear through the hearts of people. Now I’m known as The Six Finger Menace… and it doesn’t sit right with me in the slightest.
I’ve been on the run for five months, four weeks and fifteen days, having stolen a few stores to resupply with oxygen tanks for my hat’s helmet, capsules, ammo and sustenance, trying to make sure that none was following me after the fact. This doesn’t give me any sort of pride or satisfaction, except for the fact that maybe I won’t have to die any time soon due to hunger or dehydration for a week or two, but… even so, it’s something I have to do in order to still keep myself alive.
I need to clean my name and show the world that I’m not someone to be afraid of, but if I can be honest with myself, I don’t see that being possible with the current circumstances. I have to steal in order to survive, which doesn’t help my already destroyed image, so… whenever I show up, people do not dare to approach the bandit of Six Fingers.
If only I had listened to Stanley, none of this would’ve happened… if I had listened to him and not try to find the secrets of this planet, I wouldn’t be in such a compromising position. Sometimes I imagine him staying right here with me, telling me that things will be okay and that we’ll find a way to make things right, but I don’t even know if he’ll want to see me after he finds out what I have become… what I have done in order to survive.
If I’m not able to find a solution within a year from now… I think the best course of action will be to turn myself in to the corresponding authorities and face my crimes, no matter how harsh the punishment might be for each and every single one of them. My only hope now is to find a town where I can seek refugee and a chance to turn my life around, live incognito and find any way to hide my identity until the time is right. If not, then I shall accept my destiny with grace and a high head, not with pride, but with dignified resignation.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Don't worry, this chapter is over but I just wanted to share the proper design for Stanford here on this part of the fic, just so you guys are able to look at it proper. Credits for the art will be posted in the end notes!)
