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After bringing back the scientist chick to camp, Shauna and Nat were on charge of interrogating her. They took her to Nat´s hut and began asking every question possible they could think of.
They found out that she and her group had been left on the island by a ship that would come back in a month to pick them up. They were investigating some frogs for God knows what and that, aside from the essential equipment for their research, they brought with them the bare minimum.
When Tai and Van went back to their camp to find anything useful they found a radio that did not work, it was impossible to get a signal, they found some extra clothes, blankets and food that were going to come in handy. Some knives, and an axe.
But Shauna didn’t give a shit about those things, she needed medical care for Mel. She still can’t forget how the blonde looked away from her when she came back. Hurt? Sad? It broke her soul to leave her there with a fucking arrow to her shoulder, but they needed to capture them, what if they escaped? They could be their only way back, and fucking Lottie went and axed one of them.
Nat was asking Hannah where they were, what day exactly was but Shauna interrupted her: “LISTEN TO ME! DO YOU HAVE MEDICAL STUFF? Your tower looking pal shoot and arrow at my girlfriend and she´s bleeding, so tell me where you keep your medical case or whatever”
“um, s- s- sorry but we don’t have any of that, we used all of it last week when one of us got attacked by a wol—“ SLAP
“Shauna!!” Nat exclaimed
“Fucking useless! Just tie her up somewhere, we´ll decide what to do with her later”
“WHAT!? I’m not gonna tie her up and leave her to await what? An execution? A trial? She is our way out Shaun-“
“Hey! Did u forget? I’m Queen now, so you. Will. Do. As. I. Say. Are we clear? Besides I don’t why are u complaining about. You had no problem killing Coach so if I tell you to do the same to her it should be a piece of cake right?”
And with that Shauna left the hut leaving Nat mute while Hannah started crying and pleading for her life. She couldn’t care less. She needed to go to where Mel was and check on her.
So she went to the hut that they shared fully expecting to see her there. “Hey Mel how are yo….” The hut was empty. Shauna did not comprehend, where could she have gone. She left the hut and spotted Gen coming out of her own hut, covered in blood.
With dread in her soul that the worst might have happened she approached her, “Hey Gen where is Mel?”
Gen glared at her and scoffed “Oh so now you care? She´s in my hut, but she doesn’t want to see YOU! So leave her al—HEY NO! SHAUNA WAIT!”, she didn’t want to wait. Doesn’t want to see me? Why?
She opened Gen´s curtains and there was Melissa in the middle of it with her arm on a sling, sweat all over her face, the right side of her shirt covered in blood and her eyes looking a pale blue that stirred something unpleasant in Shauna´s gut.
“Hey Mel how a—“
“Get out!”, Shauna felt like the blonde had slapped her with how cold her tone was. “I don’t want to see you”, Shauna tried to get closer but Melissa raised her other hand signaling her to stop and not get any closer. She was furious. “It’s okay Gen you can leave us”
Shauna didn’t realize Gen was behind her, all her focus was on the blonde in front of her “Are you angry with me?”
“You think?! Shauna I got shot, and begged you to stay with me, but NOOOO you decided to keep playing Xena the warrior and left to chase them while leaving me here with fucking Mari and Lottie that I swear she was licking that dude´s brain parts. YOU. LEFT. ME.” Melissa was panting at the end, her piercing eyes on Shauna´s ones the whole time.
Shauna couldn’t hold her gaze and looked to the side “It’s not like that! I had to go chase them! They could be our way out or they could ruin everything for us here or who knows but—“
“SHAUNA!” the blonde raised her voice stopping the brunette´s ramble. “like 8 people went to search them, hell, I hate her but Mari is a damn good tracker, she could´ve gone and you stayed with me, but no, you forced her to stay back. The woman was defenseless and the dude only had a crossbow. We know this land, they don’t, we would have caught them easily”
Shauna couldn’t understand why Melissa was so angry, she was safe, they had captured the woman and Travis told them he and Akilah saw the crossbow dude fall to his death in a cliff. Rescue was coming in a month, what else could she have done?
“Hugged me” Shauna was startled. Melissa was now looking at her with tears in her eyes, “I know what you are thinking, I know YOU, Shauna, whether you like it or not because I lo—like you, a lot. So yeah, you should´ve stayed with me and hugged me, helped me and told me that everything was gonna be fine. Do you know how scared I was? How afraid I was when I saw you leaving me to disappear into the woods chasing someone that was armed? You know what thoughts crossed my mind? I got shot in the shoulder, but what if you got shot somewhere worse, what if there were more people, what if it was a trap? And the first thing you do when you get back is give me one look and then go on to interrogate the woman?”
Shauna was speechless. Her heart was hurting, tears threating to show themselves. Aww poor Shauna, never doing the right thing. Look at her. You can’t save anyone. You always leave. And looked what happened, the ONLY person that trusted you, is now looking at you in disgust. Jackie´s voice was like knives twisting in her heart. She didn’t dare to look at Melissa. Didn’t want to confirm Jackie´s words.
“I…. I don’t know what to say”
A minute went by were there was only silence until Shauna heard Mel sigh, and it almost broke her apart, because it sounded like a I’m tired of you sigh.
“I can’t tell you that Shauna, you should know the answer yourself, but if you don’t know it, then maybe I was wrong about this whole thing. These past months I thought that maybe you would care about me a little, I guess I was wrong, and honestly it’s my fault, I knew what I was getting into myself”
“Hey that´s not tr—“
“Really its okay Shauna, guess I was too in over my head, I… I give up, I can’t take it anymore”
That did it. Those words finally broke down Shauna, but her not being used to this kind of feelings didn’t know how to express herself so she used her best emotion to speak. Rage.
“So that’s it? Really? You pushed and pushed and when something bad happens you just quit? So you were all talk then? I can’t believe I wasted this whole time with you”, every word Shauna spoke went straight through Melissa´s broken heart. But for Shauna it wasn’t enough, her heart was also fractured, and her only way to express herself was anger towards others.
The whole time she spent with Melissa, there was one subject that always affected the blonde, there was always someone she compared herself to, almost in every word or action she did, she thought she was never going to be enough for Shauna. And that couldn’t have been more apart from the truth. Melissa was so much more. Shauna knew that and she always did everything possible to convince Mel of it. But right now? Right now she was hurt, she had hurt Melissa, disappointed her.
So she said the worst thing she could have possibly said to Mel, “I guess you were right. YOU. ARE. NEVER. GOING. TO. BE. BETTER. THAN. JACKIE!” she screamed this last part, her tears finally rolling down her cheeks matching the ones already staining Melissa´s shirt.
She knew that was not true, but when hurt, Shauna only knew to keep people away and that’s what she did. She left the hut and went away, she needed space and fresh air. She needed to breathe, her heart was beating like crazy, she felt like puking. She didn’t want anybody to see her like this.
But that was impossible since everyone heard her last scream, so when she came out of the hut everyone was looking at her.
She went to the lake and just went in fully clothed. She needed to cool down her head.
--
Shauna spent the whole day in the lake, thinking. When night time came she went back to camp only to find that no one was out. Apparently dinner was served and everyone had eaten since there was one bowl near her tent with the food they made. She grabbed it and went into their hut.
Upon entering it her hunger rapidly vanished, and her heart started hurting again. Not only was Melissa not there, but the few things she had there since moving in with Shauna were gone. Her few shirts and short pants that she kept folded were gone. Her blanket and “pillow” made from leafs and fur was gone. There was no trace that Melissa was ever there, living with her.
“So this is it….” And for the first time since losing her baby Shauna cried.
--
The next few days went by like nothing, everyone was eagerly waiting, counting the days until the scientist’s boat arrived to the island. Only four weeks were separating them from being rescued. But the only thing Shauna could think of was Melissa. For the first two weeks Shauna wanted to get close to her again, try to get them to talk again, to see if they could solve what was going on between them and go back to how things were before.
She missed the blonde. Every night was miserable, while every day was spent by looking at her. But Melissa never saw her, not once did she managed to lock eyes. It was like Melissa had already forgotten her and Shauna couldn’t help but get consumed by bad thoughts. Was it all a lie? Did Melissa really cared about her? Were all the kisses and hugs a lie? Was the way their bodies felt against each other false? Were all the moans and caresses they shared not real?
Shauna tried to talk with Melissa but either she couldn’t find a moment with her alone, like Melissa made sure to always be with someone, or she was straight up ignored by the blonde.
By the third week she stopped seeing Melissa. She guessed Melissa was so annoyed with her that she made sure to not even be on her sight. The thought that Mel, her Mel, went that far to avoid her was really the nail that sealed the coffin. Shauna was destroyed, she couldn’t keep like this, her people needed her, she was the Queen now. So one day she came to a decision, and Shauna being like she is, decided that being hurt by Mel was not going to help the group so instead she again turned all that emotion into anger, because it was the only way in which Shauna knew how to function as a leader.
--
During the fourth week Gen decided to stop by Shauna´s hut, and she couldn’t help but notice how sad Gen looked. “Hey Gen, how can I help you?”
“Shauna….” She looked like she was debating with herself whether or not to tell her something.
“Come on Gen, I don’t have time for this, I have to go hunt with Tai, out with it”
“You need to go see Mel, she´s not feeling well, we think she has a fever. She´s been in bed for 5 days in a row and not getting better”
So that’s why I didn’t see her this last few days, Shauna realized, and every fiber of her body was aching for her to go see Mel, but her anger – her stubbornness rather—was greater. “I’m sure it’s nothing Gen, many times one of us got sick for a few days, even in winter, and nothing happened, it will pass. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go hunting”
And with that Shauna left her hut, leaving Gen standing there alone and too far already to hear Gen whisper “But she doesn’t have a few days”
--
It was an annoying habit this last three days of people going up to her and telling her to go see Melissa. Like okay she was sick, so what? Tomorrow the boat is coming to rescue them and they’ll be okay, the blonde will get antibiotics and get cured, and she´ll leave Shauna again, and be out of her life forever.
--
It was night time already and they were getting ready to have their last dinner together before getting rescued tomorrow. Shauna decided to have a feast with every food they managed to hunt and harvest. She personally as the Antler Queen decided to serve everyone their food as her last act as Queen. She could see there were two spots missing, one beside her that was were Mel always sat, but since she was sick she wasn’t there, so she would give the bowl to Gen to take it to her. The other person missing was Tai, the seat beside Van was empty, and that Shauna found weird, they were never apart.
Shauna was going to ask Van about it but was interrupted by someone screaming her name. “SHAUNA!”
It was Tai, and she was coming out of Gen´s hut, her shirt covered in blood. Tears running on her cheeks. She ran to where Shauna was and grabbed her arm pulling her to Gen´s hut.
“Hey what the hell do you think you are doing?!”
“You are getting in that hut right now Shauna and talking to Mel”
“The hell I am!” she said wrestling free from Tai´s grip, “Why would I care about her? She quit on me remember? She le—“ SLAP!
Tai had just slapped her. Hard. Shauna was left dumbfounded. “SHAUNA! MELISSA IS DYING!”
Shauna´s whole world stopped. She was trying to make reason of what Tai had just said. She could see Tai´s lips moving but could hear nothing. All she could hear was a constant sharp buzzing on her ears.
“Wh—what?” she managed to get out.
“Her shoulder got infected, since the scientist didn’t have anything to help we couldn’t disinfect the wound correctly, so we could only clean it with water and patch it up with used rags, but Shauna it was a gnarly wound”
“But. How come no one said anything?”
“She didn’t feel anything for the first two weeks, but on the third she started getting a fever” Gen approached them from behind, “she told us it was just a normal fever…. I should´ve helped her mor—“ she couldn’t finished her sentence since she started crying.
Shauna turned around in anger and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, “What do you mean “More”?”
“She—she went to change her bandages alone to the lake, wanted no one to follow her, told us she wanted to be alone, to try and heal her broken heart after your fight. Three days ago I saw her shirt stained with blood on her shoulder and went to change her bandages. She was passed out so I thought I could do it without her noticing it. Shauna. The wound is bad. I think tissue around it started to necro—“
“STOP!” Shauna dropped her to the ground “Why did no one told me?!”
“WE TRIED!” Gen got up and pushed Shauna into the ground “But you were to stubborn to go check on her.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT SHE WAS DYING!??!” Shauna was seething. She got up and pulled her knife while going for Gen, but Natalie came from behind and stopped her.
“Shauna, nobody knew that it was that bad until a few days ago. Gen was the only one that found out, but Melissa made her promise not to tell you. Before you asked why, just go inside and talk to her, please” Shauna couldn’t believe it, Nat had tears in her eyes.
Suddenly she felt like the whole ocean washed over her. She lost all her strength and dropped to her knees, her knife falling to the ground, her tears following next. She heard steps approaching her.
“Hey, come on get up, you need to go inside” Tai whispered to her and gently helped her get up, going to the hut. Shauna stood in front of the curtains with her hand on them but couldn’t muster the strength to open them.
Until she heard a faint voice calling to her “Sh—shauna is that you?”, so with that she opened the curtain. What greeted her took the air out of her lungs. Melissa was laying down in a deplorable state. Her face was white, not pale, just plain white. Her lips had lost their color turning purplish. Her hair too, losing their blonde glow, now looked like old burned straw. But her eyes, oh her eyes, even though her whole self was in such a state, Mel´s eyes were still the same shade of blue that Shauna loved.
Those eyes that were still looking at her like the first time they kissed, didn’t matter their fight nor the days they didn’t see each other, Melissa was still looking at Shauna as she was her whole world. Regardless of what her exterior attitude towards Shauna was, her eyes never lied.
“What are you doing here? I told *cough* *cough* I told Tai to not tell”
“She didn’t, or well she kinda did, but Gen told me the rest. WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ANYTHING? WHY DIDN’T YOU COME TO ME?” Shauna almost screamed at her while sitting down next to her left arm. She couldn’t see the wound on her shoulder but could see black streaks reaching up to Mel´s neck.
“What? Because it’s obvious that you didn’t like me like nor cared about me like I do, Shauna. I thought *cough* we already had a fight over this, remember. Im not Jack—“ Mel couldn’t finish that sentence since Shauna covered her mouth with her hand.
“Stop, that’s not true. I didn’t know what to do, how to react, I have never been in a relationship. You know me, I only know how to hate, how to be angry and that´s what happened. But please, know that I didn’t mean any of that!” Shauna didn’t care anymore that her tears were falling, didn’t care if it made her look weak. Compared to the pain Melissa was going through, she had no right to complain.
“I’m sorry okay, I should´ve stayed with you, I wanted to stay with you, but when the scientists escaped and with the thought of rescue fading away I saw red. I’m really sorry”
“Then *cough* why didn’t you come and say this to *cough* to me before, it’s been like three weeks Shauna…”
“I know…. I didn’t know what to d—“
“YOU SHOULD HAVE HUGGED ME AND SAY YOU WERE SORRY! THAT’S IT, I ONLY NEEDED THAT SHAUNA, ONE HUG, ONE KISS, ANYTHING” Melissa screamed at the top of her lungs, forcing her voice to a point where she started coughing hard.
After Shauna helped her drink some water she answered her “I tried to talk to you Mel but you were ignoring me”
“Shauna I can count the times you approached me in one hand, and what did you expected me to do? You knew what my mayor insecurity was and you stabbed me with it and twisted. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? This arrow wound was nothing compared to the venom you spat at me that day”, Melissa was now fully crying, “Just leave please, tomorrow is the rescue and you have stuff to attend probably, don’t waste your time on someone you don’t car—“
“That’s not true…”
“What?”
“I said that’s not true Mel”
“Shaun---“
“I love you”
…….. “Wh—what?”
“I do, I really do, I’m sorry it took me this long to realize it, but it’s true. So don’t say I don’t care for you, because it’s the complete opposite. I. LOVE. YOU. MELISSA”, Shauna declared while looking straight into her eyes forcing all her love to show through her eyes.
Melissa continued crying hard but this time for a different reason. She covered her eyes with her good hand, “do you know how long I was waiting to hear those words”
Shauna grabbed her hand removing it from her face “Hey, look at me”, even though Mel was looking very pale, her eyes were glowing, the tears making them sparkle.
“I love you too, Shauna”.
Shauna leaned down connecting their lips together in a kiss full of lov-- *COUGH**COUGH**COUGH*, Melissa started coughing really hard again but this time lots of blood came out, smearing on Shauna face and clothes.
Shauna panicked, “Hey hey it’s okay relax, I’m right here, try to breathe for me!”, her panic rising while she tried to clean Mel´s mouth of the blood. She could listen the blonde´s breathing and it made her heart shrink. It was not normal, it sounded like there was something obstructing her breathing, making her sound raspy.
After giving her some more water Shauna decided to take a look at Mel´s wound slowly lifting up her shirt and then her bandage.
Shauna prided herself in being strong, whether it being physically or mentally strong, she had enough confidence that nothing could upset her. But seeing the black splotch on Melissa´s shoulder made her want to puke her guts out. Blood, pus and every sticky substance imaginable was oozing from her wound. “Oh baby, why didn’t you tell me sooner”, Shauna was in shambles seeing that, her eyes watering again.
Melissa smiled at her and laughed a little “Heh, baby? I like how that sounds. Got to hear that and that you loved me, wish I was impaled by the arrow sooner”
“Melissa”, Shauna warned her to be serious even though she smiled a little bit.
“Honestly up until a week ago I didn’t pay much attention to it. The first 2 weeks it hurt but it was normal seeing as we didn’t have anything to treat it with, so I could only bandage it and clean it with water. But then one day I saw some parts of the wound turn darker and when a few more days went on, it kept growing. I….. its been like 6 days since I can’t feel anything from my right shoulder to my right hand”
“Oh Mel..” Shauna was full on crying, “I can’t even imagine how much pain you are going through and how much you went through on your own. I’m sorry, if I wasn’t so stubborn I could have—“
“Shauna. You couldn’t have done anything; we don’t have the necessary tools for it. It’s not your fault”
“Still, why didn’t you came to me and told me how bad it was, or why did you forced the girls to not tell me?”
“Because you are our leader, we need you for when the rescue arrives and I didn’t want you to be distracted with something that you honestly couldn’t have done anything about it” Melissa told her with a smile, wanting to assure Shauna that no matter how the days were spent, the result was going to be the same.
“But it’s okay now! Tomorrow they are coming to rescue those scientists and we´ll get you the help you need!”
“Shauna, I don’t thin—“
“SHH! DON’T SAY IT! YOU ARE GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT! YOU HAVE TO…… please Mel I can’t lose you. I love you”, Shauna´s voice was losing strength overcome by fear. She hugged Melissa on her good side, crying into her.
“And I love you too. So much. This last few months were the best of my life, and that’s saying a lot since we *cough* were stuck on this island. But it was like that because I was with you Shauna. So thank you for taking a chance with me”
They stayed there for a few minutes, not talking, just crying silently. Shauna kept hearing Mel ragged breathing and with each cough, her heart shattered again.
“Sha—Shauna, I need you to *cough* *cough* to promise me something. You have to get everyone here to safety tomorrow. Even if you have to take the ship by force, but you need to save everyone. You are our leader, our queen, MY queen, and I know you can do it”
“Melissa if you are implying what I think you are, stop, I don’t care about them, I care about you, you are going to be safe, tomorrow you are getting off this island with all of us”
“Shauna, my love, I know you don’t think like that, you care about the girls, the bond we formed since being here stranded is stronger than anything. You need to *cough* you need to lead them to safety, if they don’t have you they´ll be lost. Yeah, there´s Nat but she isn’t capable of doing what needs to be done If things go south. You do, I trust you and I love you”
“Shhh Mel you need to keep your strength”
“And you need to promise me this!” Mel retaliated raising her voice which led to her coughing more blood and Shauna could swear the blood was no longer bright red, but started turning dark black.
So she swallowed her tears, and mustered enough strength for her voice to not waver, “Ok, I promise you Mel I’ll get everyone to safety, INCLUDING YOU!”.
Mel laughed a little bit and with her good arm brought Shauna closer to her, “that’s my girl, I love you”
“I love you”, Shauna kissed Mel one more time before snuggling closer to her. Eventually sleep took them both.
The next morning Shauna was shaken awake by a loud horn. It rang three times, and then one more. Hannah had told them that was the signal they were going to made when the boat reached the island. She could hear everyone outside screaming, laughing and crying from joy at the thought of finally being rescued from the island.
“You hear that love? They are here, we are safe!” Shauna turned around to Mel that was still sleeping. She placed her hand on the blonde´s cheek to wake her up. It was cold. Freezing cold. “No…. nonnononono, Mel? Melissa?! Please wake up! Don’t do this to me please!! MELIS---“
- - - - -------------------------------------------------------
10 YEARS LATER
“Hey baby…. How are you today?........ You know, today marks 10 years since we got rescued. You probably are wondering how´s everyone doing, or well at least Gen, but the girls are good. I mean, as good as we can be after going through everything that we went through. Some got married, some had kids of their own already, some went straight into college, graduated and straight into a job, I guess to keep their minds off of things. Gen got married to someone that she met at work, they have two kids, two cute little boys. They are expecting a girl in a few months….. they…. they are naming her after you love”, Shauna´s tears were already falling.
“You are probably wondering about me? Well what can I say, you know I wasn’t really good at academics so I didn’t go to college, but I did follow one of my dreams. Remember the one you encouraged me to pursuit, it took a while but after losing my fear of it I finally did it, tomorrow my book is getting published. I’ll bring you a copy and read it to you, although you probably already know more than half the story. It’s about us, our time in the island, how you warmed your way into my heart. It’s about our love, and don’t worry I did give them a happy ending, I know you would hate it if I didn’t”
Shauna took a deep breath and bent down placing Melissa´s favorite flowers on the floor next to a grave. “Goodbye Mel, I loved you, I still love you, and I will always love you. Goodbye my love”