Work Text:
Nanami nods along, making the two feel heard, their worries acknowledged without a tad of doubt. They're Itadori's closest friends, simply concerned about his well-being. Why would they lie?
"Don't tell anyone, okay?" Nobara asks. "I'd be awkward if Gojo found out."
"It'll stay between us."
"I mean it."
"You can trust me," Nanami assures in a serious, yet encouraging tone. "You mentioned them being too close. What made you think so?"
Kugisaki glances at Fushiguro. They don't seem extremely eager to talk.
"Tell him," the girl nudges Megumi.
"Well," Fushiguro clears his throat. "I've heard some weird noises coming from Itadori's room."
"Alright. What kind of noises?"
Megumi looks straight at him, then breaks eye contact as if he can't decide what to do. Initially, the boy responds with a sigh. His discomfort makes it impossible for him to speak and Nanami knows, without having to ask, that his stomach churns with stress.
"I'm not sure if I heard right."
"A bit more confidence wouldn't hurt," Kugisaki says. "You know you're right. That's why we're here."
"It's okay not to know for sure."
Fushiguro keeps his gaze low, avoiding both Nobara's and Nanami's eyes. He scratches his neck and clasps his hands together. His nervousness can be felt in every single movement -every tiny shift in his expression.
"It's not a secret that they're hanging out in Itadori's room. I know he was there. I heard his voice."
"Gojo's?" Nanami asks.
"Yes."
"And you overheard their conversation?" Kento guesses.
"Not exactly. They weren't saying much and when they did talk, they kept their voices low. I heard whispers, but I couldn't tell what it was about."
Fushiguro is absolutely right for finding this situation weird. Gojo shouldn't be visiting Itadori in his free time, unless he has something school-related to discuss. That, unfortunately, isn't anything worth reporting.
"I see."
"I heard some noise too -something like an object falling off a nightstand, tossing around.. Things like that."
"Do you think they might've fought?"
The line between Megumi's brows deepens. "No. Itadori was giggling like an idiot."
"Gojo likes to tickle him," Nobara adds.
Nanami opens his mouth to respond, but Megumi adds: "That's not all. Again, I'm not sure if what I'm saying is true, but I'm almost certain.." he pauses to make sure he has Nanami's full attention, "that I've heard moans."
Nanami's first thought is that many noises could be easily mistaken for moans of pleasure. Who's to say Itadori wasn't whining out of frustration, as the result of getting tickled? He keeps those thoughts to himself, however, so as not to dismiss Fushiguro.
"Have either of you told Itadori?"
"I don't want him to know," Megumi says, guilt written all over his face. Nobara's expression, on the other hand, displays determination.
"He wouldn't confess anyway. We need to watch them and gather evidence."
"So, if I understand correctly, you're both convinced that there's something wrong about Gojo's relationship with Itadori?"
"We're certain."
"Suspecting," Megumi corrects her. "We're suspecting some inappropriate behaviors, based on what we've seen and heard."
"Anyone with eyes can tell that something's going on between them."
"I wouldn't rush into any serious accusations. There's a possibility that we've been wrong all along."
Nobara sends him a look of disappointment and pity. "Come on now."
It's one of those rare moment when Nanami has no idea what to say. Any responsible adult would've calmed their nerves and sent them home to think things through and take action when the time comes. His priority is to bring his students a sense of safety and protection.
"Thank you for sharing. I'll make sure to observe them from now on."
"Hold on, Nanami-san," Megumi says in a rush. "Remember when I mentioned that flirting thing? I said it jokingly, but I'm not sure if that light approach was right. What if I made things worse by overlooking the red flags?"
"I'm afraid I don't quite understand which situation you have in mind."
"I don't really have anyone to confirm my words, except for Itadori of course. I can't swear on what happened at the rooftop. I was tired and beat up after the mission."
"You don't have to explain yourself before every claim," Kugisaki reminds him.
"Ah."
The two teens glance his way at the subtle gasp escaping his mouth. How could he forget about this confession? He remembers Megumi telling him something about the flirtatious interaction he became a witness to, but frankly, he didn't take his words to heart. Teenagers have the tendency to overthink and add romantic or sexual subtext to certain situations. Not to say that he doubts Fushiguro's words. A part of his story might be true.
"Yes, I remember now."
"You do?"
"It was indeed unusual."
The lukewarm response doesn't surprise Megumi. They have no real arguments to accuse Gojo of being indecent towards Itadori. He's a touchy, flirty weirdo who prefers his student's company over another adult's, but what can they do about it other than complain and shame the guy for the habits of his?
What Nanami fails to mention is that he knows a bit more than this. No point worrying the already anxious kids.
This time, there were two witnesses -Shoko and Ijichi. Both told him the same thing, that is -Gojo approached Itadori while he was fully naked. It sounds like a joke, but neither Shoko nor Ijichi is big on stupid pranks like this. The thing that lowers their credibility is the calmness with which they informed him of the situation.
"The kid came back from the dead. I'm willing to understand his reaction," Shoko said.
The coffee tastes somewhat more bitter this morning. The absence of the students leaves Nanami to battle with his thoughts in silence.
Logically speaking, the damage can't be undone anymore. Gojo saw what he saw and Itadori doesn't appear to care. Nanami can't imagine acting anywhere near as carelessly and invading his student's privacy by gazing at his naked body. He wouldn't bear to have this image in his head. Something doesn't let him believe that it was shock that led Gojo to approach Itadori instantly, before the boy got to put any underwear on.
Ijichi refuses to cooperate, despite Nanami's best efforts.
"I don't know anything, I swear," he says any time he's asked Gojo-related questions. "I'll get slapped if I say something I shouldn't. I'm sorry."
Shoko doesn't fear Gojo one bit, so she's the one providing Nanami with most information. The other significant part regarding that day is that Gojo threatened to kill the higher-ups.
"It scared Ijichi. Poor guy. He kept sweating and shaking while this idiot talked about murdering the old men."
The word unprofessional doesn't even begin to describe Gojo's behavior. He should know better than to get this emotionally attached to a kid he'd barely known. It should've sparked Nanami's suspicion.
The worst part is, the moment Nanami begins to notice his colleague's questionable behavior, it becomes impossible to overlook Itadori's indulgence and the silent permission he seems to give the man every time he crosses the line. It doesn't equal a reason to blame the teen, by any means. It's up to Nanami and other adults to find the right words to stop Itadori's leniency.
He's not a good person either. No, he wishes he didn't have to get involved. He wishes it'd all been solved on his own so that he wouldn't have to worry about Itadori's tainted purity on top of the emotional burden the job of a sorcerer carries. If he could ask for one thing, he'd ask Itadori to take care of himself, stay vigilant around Gojo instead of letting his guard down, thinking he can be trusted. He'd like Itadori to cover himself up, even if he doesn't feel shy to show his naked body to another man.
It's not about confidence, but the unknown intentions of the person viewing him in his most vulnerable state. His guardian should've taught him that.
"I don't blame him," Nanami mutters to himself, guilt overtaking him faster than he'd like it to.
He could name at least ten things Itadori does wrong in his relationship with Gojo. All those mistakes add up to serious consequences, even if they seem like unimportant details.
'Stop it,' Nanami wishes to say whenever he sees Itadori jumping into the man's arms, being the one to greet him every time without a doubt. 'It'll cause a misunderstanding,' he thinks instantly when he hears about the boy serving Gojo homemade meals. 'You're making it worse,' he can't help but scold Itadori internally as he watches him cover Gojo's eyes playfully, making him guess his name.
Itadori doesn't mean anything by this, no question, but he should be aware of the effect it has on Gojo. Is he the only one who noticed just how clingy Gojo became? Is it just his imagination?
Itadori gives the best hugs, that's a fact. Nanami harbors no desire to embrace any of his students or receive their affection, so this is something he's been told, rather than his personal opinion. Gojo has the entirely opposite priorities. The hugs he shares with Itadori aren't light or short. Seeing them like this, one would think they're a close family. Gojo rests his chin on top of the boy's head, closes his eyes and pulls him as closely as physically impossible.
The expression of pure pleasure on Gojo's face evokes mixed feelings in Nanami. The man relishes in the sense of belonging he experiences while embracing his student. Itadori's arms are welcoming, the gesture painfully honest and pure. It's an intimate moment. Not in the sexual sense, but intimate regardless.
If this is how he acts around other people, how far did he allow himself to go in private, completely unsupervised?
Whatever happened in the basement will forever stay between the two, unless of course one of them decides to share their side of the story. Itadori claims that the two months of confinement were as mundane as they could be, but Gojo ended up informing him of an interesting detail, in other words the list of the movies he made the boy watch.
Nanami curses himself for his indifference. The word Gojo loves to describe him with is 'stern' and Nanami could partly agree. Not in this context, though.
Is he overly strict or old-school for thinking that the person he knows for being sly had some ulterior motives at the back of his mind while picking the DVDs for his student? It seems awfully convenient for him to introduce the teen to a movie about a young girl falling in love with the older man who saved her life. Not to mention said man being a hitman who then teaches her everything he knows. It had to be a coincidence.
Itadori gives him one vague answer after another whenever asked about his time in Gojo's basement.
"We played around, you know. Nothing much to say."
"Played around?" Nanami repeats after him, the words leaving a bad taste in his mouth. "How?"
"I mean, you know," Yuji shrugs.
"Trust me when I say I don't."
Itadori looks away, stares at something in the distance. He then sets his eyes on his shoes, but continues to come off as absent-minded. "No one here pays as much attention to me. I'm not complaining, but.. I don't know what I'm trying to say, honestly."
"Maybe you should spend more time with your peers."
"Yep," Itadori agrees. "I hang out with Fushiguro every day, but it's so much different with Gojo-sensei."
"In what way?" Nanami quirks up his brow.
"More exciting, I guess. He's super fun and always comes up with some ideas I would've never tried out of my own initiative."
"And do you still 'play around' now, after you reunited with your friends?" Nanami asks carefully. He can't hide his suspicion and Yuji hears it in his tone -sees it in his face. He knows he'd lost his chance at finding out the truth, or at least a part of it, when he sees the recognition in Itadori's amber eyes. His poker face failed him.
An unknown, though certainly positive emotion flashes across Itadori's face. Sympathy? A surge of trust? It fills him with hope.
"Actually, Nanamin.."
Itadori trails off, losing his confidence suddenly, for no reason at all. Nanami's confusion disappears the moment he sees Gojo, however. The man materializes out of thin air and hangs his arm over Itadori's shoulder.
Yuji goes pale. It lasts a second, maybe two, but Nanami registers it, the same as he recognizes how forcefully casual and relaxed the boy's tone is.
"You scared me, sensei!"
Gojo chuckles melodically. "Did I? But you're still happy to see me, aren't you?"
"I happened to be talking to Itadori about a serious topic, Gojo-san," Nanami reprimands him. "I'd appreciate it if you allowed us a moment of privacy."
"Ehh? What a blatant injustice. I can't let you guys leave me out."
"I'm asking nicely."
"And I'm declining nicely as well," Gojo says with a shrug. "What do you think, Yuji? Should we ditch this guy and go out to eat? I'll take you to your favorite ramen shop."
Itadori glances at Nanami and the man has nothing left to do but to give him his permission. He's out of luck today.
"Okay," Yuji says, earning himself a praise.
"That's my boy!"
Nanami watches them leave, glued side-to-side. Gojo leans in to whisper something to the boy, as if they're not way too close even without this additional invasion of personal space. Yuji looks surprised to hear the accusation -or so Nanami assumes. He moves his head away and says something that appears to be an attempt at an explanation, getting cut short when Gojo decides he doesn't want to hear it. His hand travels to the boy's nape and stays there until they disappear behind the corner.
Nanami's biggest regret is that he couldn't take Gojo's role and become Itadori's guardian at the time of his training. He didn't mean to neglect his duty as an adult and risk Yuji's safety by leaving him at Gojo's mercy. The thing is, he had faith in this person. Gojo isn't the most ethical man he knows, but he'd never looked at a student and decided to make him his property. Not to Nanami's knowledge.
How can he judge Itadori's naivety when he didn't see it coming either? He forces himself to imagine how it went, down there, in the basement. Could it be that Itadori cooked for himself and Gojo happened to visit at the right time to get a bite as well? Or maybe Itadori sent him a text message to let him know when the food would be ready.
....The food cooked using the ingredients Gojo personally bought him.
His own mind keeps throwing those thoughts and images his way, tormenting him with the idea of the domestic atmosphere Itadori unknowingly created. Nanami pictures the smile plastered on Gojo's face throughout the entirety of his grocery trip. It must've felt good to get a specific request from Itadori and then pick out those items like a diligent husband doing errands for his housewife.
It's just as likely that Gojo watched him cook the meal. He loves it when people serve him.
Nanami shakes his head. This is his limit, yet he gets no break, his mind reminding him of another thing Gojo once told him. He claimed they were facing each other while enjoying their meal, instead of eating in front of the TV. There was nothing to distract them from each other, as if they were on a date. Another unnecessarily intimate detail. The question of who's idea that was bothers Nanami greatly, but he lets go. Sometimes it's better not to know.
He's walking automatically, without much thought of where he's going. It's too late to turn away once he finally notices that he's heading in the same direction as Gojo guided Itadori. Nanami stops, gazes at the empty hall leading to a few empty classrooms and does the thing he's dreading the most.
His steps make no noise. It's a conscious effort, as if he knows he shouldn't be there and does his best to conceal his presence. By why? He'd like to believe that this whole thing is just a big misunderstanding, but the logical part of his brain tells him otherwise.
Nanami stills and listens in, a few meters away from the next classroom. Subtle rustling and muffled words can be heard from behind one of the doors. Classrooms, to Nanami's misfortune, have little windows, allowing people from the outside to peek in. He has no excuse not to check on them, though he has a clue of what they're doing.
He's too weak to intervene, that's what he knows for sure. Maybe that's also why he's hesitating. Providing no help out of obliviousness is one thing, but seeing it and deciding not to take action is far worse.
The truth is, he won't get a better chance to confirm his suspicion, so he moves forward and closes the distance to the door. Nothing could prepare him for what he sees next.
Itadori's face is hard to see. Gojo towers over him, pins him to the blackboard behind his desk, his thigh between the boy's legs. It's a shocking sight. The man presses against him in a way that seems forceful and dominating. He pushes his tongue into the boy's mouth and kisses him so hard that Itadori whimpers and tilts his head away.
Nanami freezes. His mind goes blank and his usual decisiveness is nowhere to be found. He's desperate to help, but then..
Itadori reciprocates the kiss.
This is not how a victim acts. The image turns more and more bizarre by the minute. Gojo is angry, rough and selfish, yet his voice sounds surprisingly soft when he whispers some dirty words into the boy's ear. He grinds his hips against Itadori's, desperate with the need to show his ownership, and suddenly, Nanami finds it unbearable to watch. Utterly unbearable.
He takes a few steps back, close to tripping before regaining his balance.
His chest stings and he can't think of anything anymore, but he gets back home somehow, despite his zombie-like state.
It shouldn't matter at this point, but Nanami struggles to conclude if what he saw was consensual or not. Itadori isn't some skinny, short person with no strength in his body. He could fight back if he wanted to, but for one reason or another, he chose to obey. He wouldn't have won against Gojo, but he put practically no effort into pushing the man away.
Itadori doesn't hate or fear Gojo. It would've made it easier if he showed any signs of such feelings, but it's the opposite. A few days after the sickening scene, Itadori comes up to him and hands him a little packet of baked goods.
"Would you give this to Gojo-sensei the next time you see him? Sorry for the bother, Nanamin."
"..Oh. what's the occasion?"
"Just like that," Itadori laughs awkwardly. "He likes those and I had some free time to bake them."
"Alright."
His voice comes out quieter than he'd like it to and Itadori sends him a look of concern. "You look a little unwell. Maybe you could join me and Gojo-sensei at dinner?"
"No," Nanami declines firmly. "I'm okay. Thank you, Itadori."
The cookies end up in his pocket and the boy walks away after a short chat.
Itadori might have the best and the worst personality possible in one. He's kind and empathetic, but at the same time blind to his own issues. He doesn't appear to be worried about the control Gojo has over him.
Nanami sets his gaze on the cookies in his palm, clearly made with care. It's a shame he has to throw them away. Itadori has yet to realize that Gojo is the last person he should be doing those things for. If anything, he should try his best to make the man hate him. It's the only way for Gojo to let him go.
His fist unclenches, revealing pieces of the cutesy cookies Yuji spent a long time decorating to make them perfect. He puts it back in his pocket and moves on. He's tired these days, no matter how much sleep he gets and his reflection begins to resemble his past self, from the time when he slaved off at the office.
The object of his emotional turmoil appears right in front of him, just when he thought he'd have a semi-peaceful day.
"Hey there, Nanami."
What a rotten luck. He and Itadori must've passed each other by, but it wouldn't hurt to play dumb.
"I don't have the time for this right now."
"Why? Busy much?"
Nanami steps to the side to leave without an answer, but Gojo gets in his way, his lips turning into a straight line.
"What now?"
"You've got something belonging to me."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, really? Because I've heard something else when I talked to Yuji."
This is way too childish. Gojo is as persistent as a toddler demanding his favorite toy. Why are those cookies so important to him?
Nanami pulls the little package out. His plan was good in theory, but it was a useless effort.
"Satisfied?"
"Is that how you treat gifts from students? Wow, I didn't expect you to be so heartless. It wasn't even made for you. Where's the respect you always talk about?"
"I'm leaving now if that's all."
Gojo opens the plastic bag sealed with a ribbon and tastes the dessert baked specifically for him. The sugar melting on his tongue brightens his mood.
"Delicious," he hums, "even when broken."
Nanami finds this act nauseating. The last thing Gojo tells him before getting out of his way is: "Be careful with those tricks. You might accidentally break a young boy's heart."
The advice renders Nanami speechless. Breaking news -Gojo Satoru has no shame. Of course he was perfectly aware of this fact. He has known this man since high school.
The kids are counting on him, but this is messier than he thought. What makes Gojo think he can get away with anything? He must know about his, Megumi's and Nobara's hostility, but as long as he has Itadori on his side, he wins. How much brainwashing did it take for him to make Itadori believe it was a good idea to begin this twisted relationship?
Nanami's goal is simple -make Itadori confess. Yaga needs to hear those words coming from him, or else there's no point wasting his time.
Gojo works a lot, but so does Nanami. He can't use this disadvantage against him since it's their mutual weakness. There's no time for him to pull Itadori aside and have a true, genuine conversation. Gojo stays nearby at all times as if guarding what's his. He went as far as to convince Yaga to send him on missions with Itadori when he should be going solo, letting the teen practice with his friends.
It's frustrating to look at. They're always by each other's side, walking around the campus, chatting in the common area. Nanami is left watching again, a useless bystander, provided with mere snippets of their days together. As painful as it is to see Yuji in this dire of a situation, he can't take his eyes off the boy.
Itadori doesn't react to Gojo's obvious flirting. If Nanami's guess is correct, he sees it as mostly platonic, though there's a subtle sparkle of amazement in his eyes when Gojo places his palm against his. Itadori notices how much longer his teacher's fingers are. How broad Gojo's palm is, compared to his. The notable difference impresses him and Nanami finds the explanation in the natural curiosity of teenage boys.
It's not every day that you meet a man of this size. Knowing Gojo, he takes it as a sign of attraction. Someone needs to bring him back to Earth, but it won't be an easy task. He's in too deep. Shoko has no intention of meddling in and sharing the crushing weight of responsibility. Utahime is the only other adult Nanami can think of -the thing is, why would Gojo care about her opinion? Itadori is far more reasonable than Gojo and there's a chance he'll listen to his friends if they try talking him out of this.
Fushiguro and Kugisaki are currently on a mission, which explains the scene Nanami interrupts. Gojo and Itadori are sitting together on the green couch, closer than necessary. The man rests comfortably, his arms on the backrest, legs wide open. Nanami can't decide if it'd be worse to see Itadori sitting on his lap or the way he does now -in between his teacher's legs.
Gojo tips his head back, a cocky smile present on his face. Nothing to be proud of here. Nanami doesn't comment on the stupid teenage-like expression. Gojo grew older, but his maturity didn't change much since his high school days.
"Ah, I'm embarrassed. We've got caught," Gojo says, clearly happy about being seen in this position.
"Huh?" Itadori turns to him and gasps. "Nanamin."
The boy rises, just to be pulled back and hugged by Gojo. It's a controlling embrace. A possessive one. It flusters Itadori, as comfortable as he is with public displays of affection. It's uplifting to know that he still has this tiny bit of self-awareness and common sense to understand that what they're doing is wrong.
"Itadori is trying to move away, Gojo-san," Nanami says, as calmly as he can.
"I can see that. It's because of you, though. You made him shy."
Nanami wouldn't agree. Itadori looks like he'd been caught doing something inappropriate, such as cursing in front of his father. He's not shy but uneasy.
"Let him go."
Gojo's smile fades away slowly, but he loosens his hold. "Okay, geez.."
The atmosphere shift doesn't escape Nanami's attention. It's not as light or playful anymore and he's certain he'll be to blame in Itadori's mind. He ruined such a fun interaction, didn't he? He won't get far with this attitude, naturally, he knows what teenagers want and it's not a strict adult prohibiting them from doing anything even remotely exciting.
"He's so gloomy," Itadori murmurs, covering his mouth with the palm of his hand.
It was to be expected. He's trying to get on Gojo's good side by letting him know that he doesn't share the 'gloomy guy's' perspective.
"I know, right?" Gojo whispers back.
Nanami keeps his composure. He messed up badly enough -created something for them to bond over, made himself look bad so that Gojo could come off as the cool adult. They're buddies, in Itadori's mind. He respects Gojo, but there's no sense of authority creating an invisible distance between them. The lines have gotten so blurry, it's hard to tell there were any to begin with.
"People like you wouldn't last a day in a regular school. You would've been fired on sight," Nanami says, though it's a losing battle.
"Good thing that nothing about this school could be described as normal."
'Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.' It sure is hard to understand, even for the extremely intelligent man that Gojo is. There's still this element of entitlement in his actions. He tries to be righteous, but he can't help his urges when he knows that he could have anything in this world. Nothing can stop him. Nothing, besides his own ethics. It requires great reserves of discipline and determination to continue to stick to the rules imposed by the higher-ups.
In the face of the jujutsu world's regulations, the law of non-sorcerers means nothing. It would've been silly to say that the school allows the children to fight for their life, but draws the line at underage drinking or smoking cigarettes. It hasn't been explicitly said, but the rules are a lot looser here and Gojo is eager to take advantage of it.
Gojo's bond with Itadori would've made Nanami happy if it wasn't for those moments that showed the other side of their relationship -the not-so-platonic one.
Itadori jumps to high-five his teacher after one of the exceptionally tough missions. Nanami looks away. He ignores them when they chat in the car. Ijichi does the same, but his anxious gaze drifts towards the rearview mirror when Gojo places his hand on Itadori's thigh, throwing a stupid joke the boy's way.
"You did a great job. Should I give you a massage as a reward?"
Itadori laughs and it sounds genuine. Only a teenage boy could find such a thing funny. It's a pervert-worthy joke. Something a drunk old man would've said unprompted to a woman sitting by the bar. Pathetic.
"Stop it, sensei.."
"What? I'm being nice. You'll be sore if I don't do this."
Ijichi glances at him again, as if asking him to do something about this, or maybe just to check his reaction. Either way, Nanami can't bring himself to chime in. It'd end the same as last time.
Gojo removes his hand eventually, but it does nothing to lessen Nanami's discomfort. Ijichi sighs with relief the moment Gojo gets out of the car.
More and more time passes since his first conversation with Itadori's friends, as well as the resolution that followed said meeting. The day he caught them in the classroom left a mark on him. It was a cruel confrontation with reality.
He gets his work done and goes home to rest. What else is there to do? It shouldn't be his personal responsibility to break those two apart. It's not like he's the sole witness to the disturbing development of their relationship. Guilt settles in his gut every time he chooses to leave the school grounds and lock himself at home, away from the source of his stress.
Nanami wishes it was a strictly sexual thing. This way Gojo would've gotten bored of Itadori and left him alone. It would've given him the chance to heal and try again with someone else.
But Gojo loves him. He loves Itadori so much that everything around him reminds him of the boy. Nanami failed to do his part the last time they went drinking. He was supposed to talk some sense into Gojo, but ended up listening to his lovestruck nonsense instead. The Cinderella's cocktail doesn't remind Nanami of the setting sun, much less is it reminiscent of Itadori's hair color. It's a simple, sugary, orange-flavored drink.
He doesn't hesitate before blaming Itadori for his lack of self-awareness while he himself struggles with it all the same. He's been blind to his hypocrisy. How could he overlook the damage he'd done by taking Itadori's humanity away? His choice of words was insensitive and he's ready to admit to it. He was one of the people reluctant to call Itadori by his name, instead using the title 'Sukuna's vessel.' Gojo's response sounded oddly serious.
"I'm talking about an individual called Itadori Yuji."
Is it a surprise that Itadori sought his company? The company of the only adult who saw him as a person? Nanami couldn't be there for him the way he needed. He, like many others, neglected him and opened a way for Gojo to sneak into the private area of his life, make himself at home in the most delicate part of the boy's heart.
He's a hypocrite and a coward. Gojo knows it well. Isn't it easier to give up and let Itadori handle it on his own? He's two years apart from becoming an adult.
His second and last act of courage ends similarly to the first one. Nanami visits the students' dorms with the intention of a short, private chat with Itadori. The boy should be alone at this time, his friends having left for a longer mission. Yaga informed him about Gojo's mission earlier this afternoon, however, the sounds coming from Itadori's room contradict the principal's words.
Nanami knows what he's going to see and yet steps forward. They're together again, which means Gojo ditched his responsibilities to be here. He knew Itadori would be alone and couldn't let the opportunity pass.
The door isn't fully closed, Nanami notices. It opens upon a light touch and he can easily imagine the reason to be Gojo's impatience. He was so eager to do what he came here for, that he didn't even bother to twist the doorknob beforehand.
For the first few seconds, Nanami can't be entirely sure what he's looking at. Someone's on the bed, under the covers, hovering over another person. Gojo's bare, broad back covers his partner, but there's a speck of pink that leaves no doubt as to the identity of the person trapped under the man.
His blood runs cold, his breath catches and then a wave of heat washes through his body. He feels covered in sweat, head to toe, if that's even possible. There's a weird tingling in his legs, the numbness preventing him from moving.
"That's it. Good boy," Gojo murmurs in arousal. The bed creaks under his weight and the movement he makes leaves little to the imagination. A tiny, flustered sound escapes Itadori's mouth in response. Again, Nanami finds the source of the reaction impossible to determine.
Nanami closes the door mechanically, leaves it the way he found it. Why is this what his instinct tells him to do instead of barging in and putting an end to the immoral act?
The school corridors are eerily quiet, the place far too big for the few students currently attending it. Nanami's mind, on the contrary, is louder than ever. He makes his way across campus, his heartbeat thumping in his ears.
He exits, despite himself. Nanami gets into his car and drives away. Then, once he's finally home, the noise in his head quietens down, replaced by a dreadful silence.
The man ignores the light tremble of his hand as he pours himself a glass of brandy. He chugs it down and sets the glass on the table, waiting for the alcohol to do its magic. A pleasant burn blooms in his stomach, relaxes his muscles and clears his head. For a few minutes, anyway. Having a high tolerance for alcohol can be such a burden.
It doesn't take long for him to begin to wonder 'What if it wasn't consensual, after all? Itadori isn't one to tell on others.'
Nanami takes a few more sips, holding himself back from going too fast. He might've left this kid when he needed his help the most and the knowledge twists his stomach into a knot. He keeps drinking, going far beyond his limit, yet with a sense of insufficiency at the back of his mind.
This fuzzy feeling in his body lulls him to sleep, while nausea drags him back to consciousness every time he tries to close his eyes and drift away. Nanami swallows down the last bit of alcohol at the bottom of the glass and makes up his mind to stop there for the night. He pushes the glass away with the tips of his fingers, disgusted with himself, the bitter drink and the way it makes him feel -weak and useless. Not much different from his usual self.
"Wow, you look like shit!" Gojo happily announces. People turn their heads to see what his deal is, but the sight disappoints them. It's just another overworked man. Doesn't stand out from the bar's general clientele.
"And it makes you smile."
"Not your suffering in particular, just, you know," Gojo snickers over his non-alcoholic drink, "maybe you could try seeing someone? Look at me -I'm glowing."
Nanami takes a seat and gets straight to the point. "Someone like a teenager with no family or a strong support network whom I could manipulate and mold into my ideal partner?"
The corner of Gojo's mouth twitches, but his smile remains. He turns to the bartender and gets his attention by snapping his fingers. The single, most impolite thing he could've done.
"A glass of brandy for my friend right here."
"No," Nanami interrupts. "I'll take the same thing. I'm sick of alcohol."
"Cinderella mocktail, correct?" the man asks.
"Yes. A glass of water as well, please."
The bartender takes his order and goes back to his conversation with the group of half-drunk women.
"Good choice. You've got taste."
"And you've got a talent for avoiding questions."
"Oh, did I ignore you? I didn't mean to."
He did. He absolutely did.
"To answer your question.." Gojo pauses as the bartender serves Nanami his drink.
"Enjoy."
"Thank you."
Gojo stirs his already mixed drink, using the glass straw. "You can do whatever you want. Who am I to police your actions? It goes both ways."
"I believe we should keep each other accountable."
"What for? Is there any prize for being righteous?"
"In your case, yes."
Gojo raises his brows. "Well, I'm all ears."
"Seeing Itadori happy sounds like a good motivation."
The mocktail is sweet and fruity, coats his tongue in sugar. Gojo drinks it with the same ease as if it was a glass of water. It's interesting to see how desensitized his tastebuds had become.
"He's happy with me."
Nanami sips his drink in silence. The lack of response prompts Gojo to continue.
"I had him to myself for whole two months. Do you know how hard it was to let him reunite with the others?"
"Should I pity you?"
"He'd be safe down there, but I know my responsibilities. He didn't complain when I sent him back. Actually, he wanted to leave and help out on missions. He's a good kid."
"I agree," Nanami brushes his fingers over the cold glass. He doesn't particularly enjoy the cocktail but he can't think of anything else to order. "It makes it that much more tragic to see him by your side."
Gojo doesn't argue on that. He lets go of his arrogance for once and refrains from turning it all into a joke. "He wants the same thing as me, has the same goals and a leader-worthy determination. It's rare to see. He's a gem of a sorcerer among the tired, passive people I come across every day."
'I'll be sure to take on your share of suffering too, Nanamin.'
The man pushes the memory away. His hand moves on his own, but he puts the glass back on the counter when he remembers it's just juice, not the strong alcohol he's craving.
"He understands the burden that comes with strength, yet doesn't hesitate before asking me to teach him what I know. He wants to share this burden with me, Nanami."
"Itadori has quite the troublesome personality. He's yet to learn that he can't sacrifice himself to help every person he encounters on his way."
"Death, grief, trauma.. It ages you," Gojo says. "But I know that he, unlike the others, won't let those things turn him into a bitter shell of a person. Yuji has the natural ability to see beauty in everything around him. He knows how to appreciate the smallest things and loves life the way I've never seen anyone do."
"If he's so special to you, why do you let this happen?"
"I do this because he's special to me, not despite it," the man claims with full confidence. "There's more to him than this carefree surface. How often does he open up to you or any of his friends to let his emotions out? How often does he allow himself to break down and dump his responsibilities onto someone else when he feels like he can't take it anymore?"
"You don't have to tell me. I know where this is going."
"Yuji and I are the same. He knows what I feel."
"So do I, or Shoko."
"Do you really? I'd like to think so, but Yuji, he.." Gojo pauses, "he was born with a role, the same as me. You can leave and lead a normal life. Yuji and I don't have that luxury."
Nanami clenches his fist over the glass. He has no arguments.
"How was it? The company?"
"I hated it even more than this."
Gojo laughs under his breath. "You're a funny guy. It's hard to imagine, but I believe you."
Nanami finishes the mocktail, mentally on his way home. Gojo isn't anywhere near the end of his monologue, though.
"I'm curious, is it just me who feels transparent around Yuji? He sees right through me, no matter how hard I try to conceal my emotions. Infinity or any invisible barrier I create between us -Yuji knows how to get past any obstacles. It baffles me."
Nanami knows exactly what he means. He doesn't feel like talking anymore. At this point, he has no hope of ending the conversation at a common ground.
"Do you think that maybe, just maybe, Yuji's parents chose this particular name out of the belief that their child will one day be capable of healing others? Bringing them peace? Do you think they knew he was special?"
The sentiment, spoken with such deeply rooted certainty, breaks Nanami out of his daze. It sends a shiver down his spine, makes Gojo's state of mind abundantly clear. He'd lost his mind.
"No. I think this is something you'd made up in your mind to fit your ideology and ease the guilt that comes with doing things you know you shouldn't."
Gojo nods slowly, allowing Nanami's words to sink in. One would think it made him reevaluate himself. "I don't want him to waste his youth on a hopeless, unfixable person like me."
"But?" Nanami asks, assuming there's another part to this statement.
"But this is my only chance for love and I'd be damned if I gave up on it this easily. I know what you're thinking, but I want love too. I need it, and this boy.. he's full of it."
His voice is quiet. Vulnerable.
He'd promised himself not to feel sorry for Gojo and he's planning to keep his word, but he can't help the stinging in his chest evoked by the thought circling his mind endlessly. He can't call himself Gojo's close friend, but he'd always known this one thing, and that is -this person has lots of love to give. There just hasn't been anyone willing to receive it.
Nanami purses his lips, exhales and raises his hand to get the bartender's attention.
"A glass of brandy, please."