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Grian smiled and waved as he flew off, heading back to his base. He was grateful toward his friends; they cared a lot and were really helpful. Yet that wasn't enough. It never was. Grian always needed more, he needed people to notice, not that they ever would, but nevertheless he held out hope that someone would notice.
He knew he looked stable, but he wasn't. He was constantly in and out of motivation sessions, and never seemed to get anything done. He'd picked his chapped lips until they'd bled again. His base was taking over his life, and he was so, so tired.
Everything in his room was messy and disorganized no matter how hard he tried. He was physically decaying constantly due to his struggles to keep a good routine, and his injuries never seemed to heal as he kept pretending like everything didn't hurt.
Everyone was amazing and had been so patient, ignoring how disgusting he was. Every time he saw a photo of himself he nearly screamed, he was so ugly and fat and disgusting. He ate too much and yet he always seemed to be throwing up due to lack of food.
He lived in one pair of pants and nearly gagged while touching other pants because everything that was correct around his waist was too short and the fabric was horrible. Shoes constantly rubbed and had ruined some of his new shoes by making his heel bleed. And his idiocy was taking over his life as he forgot to wash blood stains out of white shorts because he was the worst and a wreck.
He hit his head lightly on the wall, he couldn't even remember the flight home. Tears fell down his cheeks as his chest felt like it was caving in. His throat felt like it was closing and he couldn't get enough air. He gripped blindly at his sides as sobs racked through his body. Everything was too much and not enough. Boredom was a constant, yet there was always so much to do.
He slid down the wall, shaking. He missed Mumbo so much it hurt. But he wasn't here and didn't deserve to be burdened by his senseless and stupid issues.
He remembered Mumbo gently explaining that he could call if he ever needed help, but those had to be empty words because he was never enough and they were just there to sound nice, not to be the truth.
Wordlessly he reached for his comm and shakily dials Mumbo's number, unsure of what he hoped for. There were two rings before Mumbo picked up, immediately asking, "Hello? Are you alright?"
Words felt stuck in his throat, and he was rendered unable to explain or really to do anything. He just cried as Mumbo said something he couldn't decipher over the sound of his own pulse and thoughts.
Time seemed to tick on and yet felt like none had passed at all. He sat gripping his comm like a lifeline. Rocking back and forth silently as blood seemed to drain from his fingers and feet uncomfortably. Nothing felt real. He was in molasses.
A hand gently touched his shoulder and he startled, pressing into the wall and looking on with wide eyes. Vaguely he could make out the silhouette of his best friend, Mumbo. His ears were ringing so very loudly and he couldn't make out any words. His head was pounding, he watched as his friend knelt and pulled him into an embrace.
Mumbo gently rested his chin atop Grian's head as he just held the shorter man as he broke down. As he started to calm and the adrenaline fled, he was left with no energy and leaned all his body weight into his friend. A gentle hand rubbed his back soothingly. He could hear things again which was nice, but everything still felt like too much.
So kindly and gently Mumbo questioned, "Are you back with me?" Grian nodded into his chest and pressed closer to the taller man, suddenly aware of how cold he was, "That's good, let's go inside." Relief was evident within the man's tone.
Mumbo gently picked up his limp body and brought him inside, setting him down on a couch. Mumbo started to walk off which Grian attempted to protest with a frustrated whine Mumbo ignored.
His friend returned with a blanket, swaddling Grian in it while cuddling him.
Nothing felt okay, but that was okay. Grian could just be alright for the moment.