Chapter Text
His head was pounding and everything was too hot, he thrashed in an attempt to dislodge the blankets smothering him. A disgruntled noise from below him brought him back to the events of… actually, he wasn’t sure how much time had passed.
But nevertheless he needed to go. Where? He wasn’t quite sure, but he couldn’t talk to Mumbo because talking to Mumbo meant admitting some difficult truths that had never even been admitted to himself.
He attempted to remove himself from the pile of blankets he was currently tangled in, frustrated when his friend’s unmoving arms came to wrap around his midsection. “Let me go, Mumbo.” He whined.
“Hmm. I don’t think I will.” And with that, Grian was pulled against Mumbo, rendered immobile. “We don’t need to talk about last night unless you want to, but please just stay. I want to hang out with you.”
Grian contemplated the words before nodding and curling up against Mumbo, wings wrapping around the taller man.
For a while they sat silently, both content for the time being. It was peaceful, relaxing even. It made his problems feel nowhere near as big as they had been last night. Of course something had to interrupt the calm, and this time it was the grumble of Grian’s stomach, drawing a snicker from Mumbo.
“Someone’s hungry,” Mumbo teased as Grian flushed and balled his fists, “Oh yeah, by the way, did you eat dinner last night?”
“Do I really need to answer that?”
“Yes.” Mumbo stated sternly, leaving no room for argument.
“...Not particularly.” Grian admitted softly as he stared at the suddenly interesting ceiling.
Mumbo silently pushed Grian off before heading toward Grian’s kitchen. Grian quickly stood up after him, carefully steadying himself as his vision felt black as blood rushed from his head. He wobbled a little as he followed Mumbo, careful not to hit anything. Truthfully, he couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t break down if he hurt himself.
He curled in on himself as he looked onward at his kitchen, dirty dishes were stacked sky high next to his sink, the counters weren’t too bad, just hadn't had a proper deep clean in months. Mumbo was most definitely judging him right now; everyone had given him help and yet his private quarters were still covered in filth. His eyes watered at the thought and he silently rubbed at his eyes with his fist.
As he blinked away his tears he saw Mumbo’s worried expression as he watched Grian. Guilt hit him like a train. He had been a terrible host today and an even worse friend. He had to be better. A fresh wave of tears brewed in his eyes as he started spiraling yet again. He heard something clang against the counter, and suddenly he was being wrapped in a tight embrace.
“You’re okay, G. I’ve got you,” The smaller man continued to hyperventilate, worrying Mumbo further, “Can you match my breathing?” Grian tried, god he tried so hard but everything had a way of getting in the way. He had been panicking about being rude and had just ended up being even more terrible by breaking down. He was a waste of space.
Everything was blurry and he was a complete and absolute mess. He had to pull himself together. He had stuff to do today like meeting Scar to mess with Doc while the goat was off on an expedition far away, and hanging out with Joe and Cleo.
But he couldn't. He couldn't move; everything was so much. He wanted to die. So badly did he crave the freedom that death bestowed upon the dead. But he couldn't. There were people who loved him that would hurt if he left this world.
Everything was so raw and everything felt like too much. He felt so guilty for having even considered his friends in that way.
He doubled over as the weight of his sobs overtook him. Mumbo caught him and knelt to the ground and held him, murmuring reassurances while rubbing his back in circles. He trembled like a leaf, he felt like he was going to puke, and honestly, he just might. He hadn't eaten today.
He felt his body heave and he pulled away from Mumbo just as he threw up. He coughed and felt his body give out. As he fell forward and toward the pile of bile Mumbo's arms wrapped around him and scooped him up. Everything was distant but he could feel a rag dabbing at his face.
●○●○●
To say Mumbo was panicking was an understatement to the extreme degree. Grian had just thrown up and collapsed which was not good at all and he was quite frankly lost. He had no medical knowledge but didn't know if Grian would be comfortable with him calling someone, not that it mattered if this was really serious.
After hovering anxiously he eventually decided to text Xisuma, Keralis and Doc. X was their amazing admin who would know something to do, Keralis was Keralis, and Doc had amassed a lot of medical knowledge over the years.
His hands shook so badly he nearly dropped his comm. Immediately his comm pinged with a response from X telling him he was on the way.
He elected to sit down near Grian's head, feeling lucky enough to know that if someone is throwing up you should lay them on their side. He forced himself to breathe while combing his fingers through Grian's hair.
As a knock sounded he made no move to open the door, Xisuma could open the door on his own. Besides, he wasn't comfortable leaving Grian for any length of time right now.
Xisuma opened the door, seemingly analyzing the scene in front of him, which wasn't pretty if the admin's tense stance indicated anything. “How's he doing?” Xisuma sat down in the nearby armchair.
“I don't- I don't know.” Mumbo's voice cracked, “He called me last night and I went to check on him since he wasn't saying anything and he was clearly having a breakdown of sorts. He threw up after starting to cry again and I don't think he's okay and I need your help because I can't be there enough for him right now.” Mumbo took a deep breath taking in Xisuma's response, “Sorry” He muttered.
“It's okay. I think we should talk sometime soon, but for now let's focus on Grian,” Mumbo nodded, shifting with nerves, “Where did he throw up?”
“In his kitchen near the table.” Xisuma nodded before getting up and heading into the kitchen. Vaguely the noises of cupboards opening and bottles spraying could be heard, but Mumbo couldn't bring himself to leave Grian's side.
Xisuma came back into the living room a few minutes later, seemingly calmer. “I got everything cleaned up. Who else did you text?”
“Keralis and Doc.” He looked down at his friend before adding, “I want sure he would be comfortable with me telling.”
“I understand. Have you gotten any responses from them?”
Mumbo straightened up as he reached for his comm and checked his messages, relieved to see a message from Keralis stating he'd be over soon. There was also one from Doc asking if he could wrap up what he was doing first to which Mumbo responded yes. Grian would be okay for now, or at least he hoped so.
He took a deep breath before laying his head back, exhaustion overtaking him. Sleep beckoned and he couldn't help but answer the call.