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Ardata had noticed gradual shifts in her behavior, shakier hands, absentminded gnashing of teeth, eyes stressfully darting around any block she entered, and a memory playing on loop in her head. The memory of a strange yet compassionate alien sat at her kitchen table. The care in their eyes and the pang of fear as blue blood dribbled from the fork inflicted wound in Ardata’s hand, and their all too eager acceptance of friendship.
Thinking of it made a lump form in her throat. It confused her, not only how vulnerable she became, but how willing they were to stand by her side. It had become more and more difficult to withstand sitting at her meal block table. Her sleep was littered with visions of the alien that made her toss and turn in her recuperacoon, sopor slime no longer offered her comfort. She could barely verbalize her pain to her moirail, but his connections offered her another option.
This desperation brought her to the steps of Clown Church. She had attended a few services with Marvus, but wasn’t all too comfortable or familiar with the congregation. The few times she had attended alongside her moirail, she had witnessed the enthusiastic sermons of Chahut. Chahut preached with a commanding voice, Faygo spraying from all sides as the pews of rowdy clowns cheered for her. She watched attentively, occasionally glancing back at Marvus as he clapped and whooped. Chahut’s talk of miracles had enthralled her.
She had clearly arrived during a service, as the ground shook under her feet. She could hear the dozens of clowns inside hollering in support of the sermon. With a deep, shaky breath, she opened the vast doors just enough to slip inside. The cacophony was even more intense inside the building. Each pew was packed with clowns, every one of them whooping and cheering, tossing half full Faygo cans into the air. The congregation was so rambunctious that Ardata could barely hear Chahut’s preaching. She awkwardly slunk into one of the farthest back pews.
Ardata smushed herself into the far side of the pew, averting her eyes from all of the trolls surrounding her. She was met with a clown leaning back over the pew in front of her, smiling widely as they whipped back up to grab a can of Faygo for the guest. They enthusiastically handed it to her, the can smudged with grease paint. Ardata bowed her head thankfully, sheepishly accepting the can. She cracked the soda open, the bright purple drink bubbling over her hand. She frustratingly wiped the spill on her dress and took a sheepish sip. The drink was so sweet that it made her teeth ache, she refrained from finishing it.
She scanned the nave, searching for anyone she recognized. To her relief, Marvus was seated in one of the front pews. He was flanked by Barzum, Baizli, and Karako, the three young trolls all cheering and practically flipping out of their seats. She passed the neglected Faygo can off to a nearby clown and hurriedly made her way down the aisle to sit alongside her moirail.
“heyy bbg :o)” Marvus smiled as she approached, shuffling further into the pew to leave a bit of room for Ardata.
“hello, dear.” She smiled sheepishly, instinctively scooching closer to him in the sea of unfamiliar trolls.
“if u wanted to come u shoulda told me ‘data” he slung his arm around her shoulder, swishing a Faygo can in his free hand.
“iii know, sorry, dear.” Ardata’s eyes flicked to the pulpit once again.
“ey ey it’s all good bbg” he rubbed her back calmly, the touch causing her to relax her tense shoulders “why’d u show up anyways ‘data?”
“iii need to speak wiiith chahut.” she said curtly, gesturing stiffly to the preacher.
“ohhh chill chill” he nodded, his head lolling in the direction of the pulpit “she my sister fr i’ll introduce the 2 of u after sevice :o)”
“thank you, darliiing.” she let out a labored sigh of relief, pulling one arm out of the shadow of her cape and snaking it around Marvus’s waist.
They remained like that for the remainder of the service, Chahut’s booming voice echoing across the nave. She was clearly full of drive, her arms outstretched as she delivered her testimonials. Dim sunset light refracting through the vast stained glass windows bathed her and the congregation in warm, colorful light. Empty Faygo bottles hung from strings of gems on each of her ears and her massive horns were wrapped with colorful strings of beads. Ardata’s eyes remained fixed on the preacher, each mention of messiahs and miracles made her bloodpusher skip a few beats.
The sermon ended just as rowdily as it likely began. Clowns filed out of the pews in less of a single file line and more of a pile, horns honked and soda sprayed as they made their grand exit. Ardata and the quartet of clowns remained, opting to wait in the pew as to not be swept up in the ocean of worshipers. Once the church was finally empty, Ardata rushed out of the pew and bee-lined for the pulpit. Marvus said something unintelligible to Karako and the twins before shooing them off and catching up with his moirial.
Chahut’s toothy smile widened, she emerged from behind the pulpit with her arms outstretched invitingly.
“ardaTa!” she pulled her into a tight hug, punctuating it with a few stern pats on the back “welcome back, sisTer.”
Ardata’s put-together facade was immediately faltering, she smiled sheepishly and bowed her head respectfully.
“thank you, pastor.”
“just chahuT is fine, sisTer.” she rebutted, greeting Marvus with a familiar and firm handshake.
“of course.” Ardata kept her hands clasped tight beneath her cape, gripping her fingers together in a futile attempt to quell her trembling.
“so, sisTer, whaT did you wanna Talk abouT?” Chahut shifted her weight, standing imposingly yet comfortably in front of the blueblood.
“your deiiitiiies perform … miiiracles, correct?” she began.
“hell yeah! The messiahs afford us plenTiful and miraculous lives.” she answered enthusiastically.
Ardata’s apprehension was barely palatable, she felt a lump creeping up her throat.
“are you aware of the aliiien?” she redirected, the tremors in her hands branching into her arms.
“i’ve seen ThaT puny moTherfucker around, They showed up for a sermon a few monThs ago. ey, marvus.” she called her fellow clown to attention “didn’T The lil Thang go To your show.”
“yeahhhh i remember that righteous mofo.” a smile grew on his painted face “hell of a good listener :o)”
Ardats’s bloodpusher practically stopped, her head snapped up to make scarily intense eye contact with Chahut.
“have you heard from them siiince?” she spat out, noticing the concern on the two clown’s faces.
“nah, They haven’T shown back up. i’ve been hearing They ran off wiTh some legiscorpus Trainees.” she turned back to Marvus, he echoed her statement through a disappointed shake of the head.
Ardata felt like she was going to black out, sweat beaded under her hair and her eyes began to twitch. She shook so hard it was difficult to keep her feet anchored to the ground. She didn’t care about formality anymore, she needed to get to her point.
“chahut, iii need you to perform a miiiracle.” her voice shook as she confessed her intention.
Both Chahut and Marvus were speechless for moments, shock painting her moirail’s face, concern flashing across the pastor’s.
“hold on There, sisTer. i ain’T The one making The magic happen, ThaT’s the messiahs-”
“then faciiiliiitate one!” Ardata barked, cutting her off with the energy she had left before the tears began falling.
Ardata fell to her knees, a strangled cry escaping her. She held her face in her hands, long suppressed sobs bouncing off the church walls. Marvus immediately got down with her, holding her from behind as he attempted to comfort her. Ardata’s sobs crescendoed, hands knitted so tightly into her hair she was on the verge of ripping it out. Her head whipped up, facing the pastor once again. Chahut was leaning down slightly, enough to express her concern but not enough to invade Ardata’s personal space.
Ardata wrenched up, lunging towards Chahut before falling at her feet. In any normal situation, she would be sickened by her pathetic behavior, but she was too far gone in the moment to care. She grabbed the legs of chahut’s bloody, paint stained pants, continuing to cry into her leg.
“chahut, please.” she stumbled over her words “iii’m beggiiing you, chahut, ask your messiiiahs to bring them back to me.”
“ardaTa?” she crouched down to the ground alongside her.
“III NEED A MIIIRACLE TO BRIIING THEM BACK, PLEASE.” she screamed, memories flashing through her thinkpan like a sped up film reel. Her vision was clouded with the memories of the alien by her side, listening to her honest sobs just as the clowns were now.
After a prolonged bout of sobs, she pulled herself away and up to her feet, balling her cape up in her sleeve and wiping trails of bleeding makeup off her face.
“iii’m so sorry, chahut.” she was immediately tied up in embarrassment, reequipping her emotional shields.
“don’t be, sisTer.” she placed a comforting hand on Ardata’s once again tense shoulder. Her fingers fell away slowly as Marvus engulfed his moirial into a deep hug. He gently stroked the back of her head, looking worriedly up at Chahut from the embrace.
“iii’m a pathetic wiiiggler.” she said to herself, her voice full of disdain at her own vulnerability.
“don’t say that shit ‘data.” Murvus began shutting down Ardata’s self depreciation.
“sisTer ardaTa.” Chahut said to her, looking into her puffy eyes once again.
“i’ll pray to Them the best i can, sisTer.” she assured “many of us wish To see Them again, They’re greaT company.”
She stepped up to the pale pair, taking Ardata’s shaky hand in hers.
“and i swear To The messiahs That i will lead Them back To you if we cross paThs again.
That reassurance brought a smile to Ardata's face. There was no malice, no sinister intent, no barring of her teeth. All that showed in the expression was gratitude so intense that it pricked tears back into her eyes.
Ardata was hopeful, maybe she would see her friend again soon.