Archive of Our Own ^beta

Everything hurt. Which to be honest was a constant in Remus’s life: there were days where some parts of his body hurt less and days where most parts hurt. And then there was the post-Full. That moment when he opened his eyes in the Shrieking Shack, trembling and broken, his brain slowly regaining agency over the wolf’s. The first times he had experienced a full moon after coming to Hogwarts he had just laid on the floor, shivering, trying to keep his arms around himself for warmth, unable to do anything but cry and wish he had not been cursed like that until the moment dawn filtered through the wooden boards and steps came hurriedly towards him, a cool hand caressing his cheek for a fleeting second before immediately starting to examine what the wolf had done to him this time, a soothing voice streaming to his ears.

“My poor boy… You were very brave, this full moon’s done now. Let’s get you back to the castle and sorted, alright?”

He usually didn’t really remember the walk back to the Hospital Wing, or anything Poppy Pomfrey did or made him drink. He fell asleep as soon as she put him into his bed, exhausted. It was only when he opened his eyes again later in the morning that he started to feel more like himself. It didn’t have anything to do with his body or the wolf, because it was in that moment that the draughts Poppy had given him started to wane and he could see the new scars on his skin and feel the cracks the wolf had put in every single bone in his body, but it had everything to do with what he saw around his bed. James’s face, lighting up as soon as he opened his eyes and yelling he was awake with little regard for anyone else that might have been in the Hospital Wing. Peter, getting closer and usually emptying his pockets of chocolate he put on Remus’s nightstand for recovery purpose, he said. And Sirius, leaning closer, his eyes wide and worried until Remus managed a small smile that made the other boy’s face finally relax.

It had been like this from First Year, and even now they were about to finish their fifth year in Hogwarts the routine of a Full was pretty much the same. Well, almost. Now, when the wolf finally retreated into that hidden part of his mind, what he saw in the darkness of the Shack were three figures, always waiting for him. As soon as he moved, back in his human form, the rat, the stag and the dog grew or shrank back into his three best friends. Sirius always grabbed a blanket and put it around him, while James took the invisibility cloak out of his robes, ready to cover all three of them.

“See you later, Moony,” Peter whispered as they vanished and he curled on the floor under the blanket.

When Poppy came in at dawn she usually remarked that the wolf must have let him have slightly some more agency, since he had at least been able to grab a blanket. The rest was pretty similar, waking up in the Hospital Wing, looking up at his friends sitting around his bed. Now James usually had either Quidditch strategy notes or the Map on his knees when he woke up, but he still smiled as enthusiastically as when they had been kids.

“Welcome back, Moony!” he exclaimed, forgetting once again he was supposed to keep quiet there.

Peter always had chocolate ready for him, but he usually leaned in, a cube of chocolate in hand, eyes fixed on Remus.

“I put Bone Soothing Draught in this one, it should help with the pain,” he whispered, aware that Poppy would not tolerate anyone else, especially a student and even one as brilliant as Peter was in Potions and Herbology, to cure her own patients.

And then there was Sirius, whose worried expression still melted into relief as soon as Remus managed to smile at him. He never sat on a chair by the bed like the other two, but on the bed itself, his hand clasping Remus’s bandaged ones. And when Remus managed to squeeze his hand back, the most beautiful smile appeared on his face. It was usually in that moment that James sighed with false exasperation and, with a flick of his wand, closed the curtains around the bed for a moment, just to leave Sirius the time to softly kiss Remus’s lips.

That too was a new development, one that still sent Remus’s heart fluttering in his throat every single time he looked at the boy he had fallen for an eternity before only to find him looking back with the same loving look on his face.

When he had been eleven, he had thought he had used up all his luck being admitted into Hogwarts despite the wolf, then he had decided that his luck had probably ran out with that combined with the fact he had made amazing friends who were constantly at his side and hadn’t ran away screaming when they had found out. But no, apparently he still had room for another strike of luck. He was lucky enough to be greeted in the morning by Sirius kissing him, he was lucky enough to get to hold him while they were chatting away with the other two in their dorm, he was lucky enough to fall asleep by his side whenever they wanted. It was still new and they hadn’t planned on telling anyone. Originally they had kept it a secret even from James and Peter, at least until that fateful evening when both Chess Club and Prefects meetings had been canceled and Peter and James had walked into the dorm to what was a particularly steamy makeout session. James had screamed, covered his eyes, declared he was scarred for life before asking for all the details almost in the same breath as soon as those jumpers were back on, please. Peter had just shot them a look, smirked and said:

“Took you two long enough,” before flopping on his bed.

Yes, in the end Remus had been lucky. He was at school, had amazing friends and the boyfriend he had dreamed of since First Year. Even the wolf couldn’t take that from him.

Still, the post-Fulls kept hurting, some more than others. That time, when Remus had opened his eyes he had felt half of his face burn, along with both his arms. He had blinked, taking in the sun streaming in the Hospital Wing and the bandages on his arms. The chairs by his bed were empty.

“Welcome back, my darling boy,” Poppy Pomfrey reached his bed with a smile, her eyes already surveying him completely. “How are you feeling?”

Remus looked at her, seeing more concern than usual in her face and his heart dropped.

“It was a bad one, wasn’t it?” he whispered.

She pinched her lips before nodding.

“The wolf seems to have been unrulier than usual,” she spoke softly. “You will be able to take the bandages on your arms off tomorrow, but I’m afraid there’s going to be another scar on your face.”

Remus swallowed, slowly raising a hand and passing it on his cheek. He hissed at the burn, another cut going through his cheek right under the one which traversed his whole face.

“I’m very sorry, Remus,” Poppy sat by the bed. “I did everything I could so it wouldn’t scar too badly.”

“Thank you,” Remus nodded, looking around him once again. “What time is it?”

“Almost eleven in the morning. I judged it best for you if you slept longer.”

Remus just nodded, his stomach clenching. It was later than usual, but whenever he was in the Hospital Wing the rest of the Marauders almost moved in there with him, to the great exasperation of Poppy, especially when James and Sirius would stage Exploding Snap battles to amuse Remus. Why weren’t they there that morning? Had something happened? What if the wolf had not only torn himself apart, but his friends as well? He couldn’t ask that to Poppy, but what if something had happened? What if somewhere in the Forbidden Forest there was a stag, or a rat, or a dog, lying bleeding because of the wolf’s claws?

“Your friends left you this before they left.”

Poppy’s voice seemed to come through a deep fog and his head snapped to the side, where she was pointing to a huge chocolate tablet on the nightstand.

“They were here?” his voice came out strangled with relief.

“Oh yes, as soon as morning came. They brought breakfast up from the kitchen too and got eggs all over your covers, I had to clean it up,” Poppy rolled her eyes. “I told them I had given you more Sleeping Draught than usual and that you would wake up late, but they stayed all the same. They only went away when Frank Longbottom showed up in a rage because Potter and Black were late for the Quidditch match. Pettigrew left you the chocolate and followed them to the pitch as well.”

Right. The Quidditch match. The last of the season, and the last one of Frank’s career as captain of the Gryffindor team. Of course they were there and not at his bedside, no one wanted to be slowly killed by Frank if they missed practice, let alone a match as important as this. Besides, they all wanted to beat Slytherin. Peter because he had spent a lot of time working with James on his Chaser strategies, James because he never not wanted to win something, and Sirius because his brother was playing Seeker for Slytherin and beating him would probably help with the thought he soon would have to go back to that house for the summer.

“Black didn’t want to leave you.”

Remus looked up at Poppy, something warm settling in his chest.

“Really?”

“Oh yes. He told Longbottom he didn’t care if he got booted off the team as long as he could be here when you woke up. It took both Pettigrew and Potter to convince him they couldn’t find a replacement Beater an hour from the match.”

Remus almost didn’t feel the cut on his cheek burn when his face split in a smile. Sirius placing him before Quidditch, before his need to beat Slytherin, before his rivalry with his own brother. The part of him still convinced that loving Sirius Black and being loved by him in return was a dream seemed to shrink even more.

“He loves you very much.”

His head snapped back up and he stared at Poppy, but the nurse had a warm smile on her face.

“He’s a good friend,” Remus said quickly.

“Oh, my boy,” Poppy leaned towards him and squeezed his shoulder gently. “Don’t worry. I know.”

Remus swallowed, but the smile didn’t fade from the nurse’s face.

“You know?” was all he could muster to whisper.

“I’ve seen how you look at him, and how he looks at you. I’m happy you found someone like that, Remus, you deserve it.”

Remus took a deep breath, the next words tumbling out of his mouth something he had never told anyone, not even Sirius yet.

“I love him.”

“I know,” Poppy repeated.

“I…” Remus shifted in bed. “Do you think it’s possible, if I’m careful of course, and if I promise to go lay down immediately after, do you think I could go down to the Quidditch pitch and watch the end of the match?”

“I think I couldn’t stop you from doing that, and honestly I don’t want to.”

Poppy got up, putting a set of clean robes on the bed along with a cane Remus used when everything hurt way too much not to lean on something as he walked.

“Call me if you need help getting dressed,” she added, starting to close the curtains around the bed. “I hope you catch the end of the match, there’s nothing more exciting than watching the one you love win for your House.”

Remus, already halfway sitting up, shot her a look.

“How do you know that?”

“I used to love someone on the Gryffindor team, long ago,” the nurse smiled, disappearing behind the curtains.

Remus shook his head and filed that away to think about another time as he fumbled with his pyjamas and got dressed. His muscles screamed as he started to walk, even if he was leaning on the cane, but he pushed through and with every step out of the Hospital Wing and then down the corridors to the entrance of the castle he got more used to what to expect. He definitely couldn’t have run once he was outside but he could walk faster, and he started in the direction of the Quidditch pitch. The screams and applause he heard as he approached told him the match was still in session, and he managed to reach the bleachers as another angry roar went through the silver and green-clad part of the pitch.

“And another perfectly placed Bludger from Gryffindor Beater Sirius Black blocks Avery from scoring once again!” Alice’s voice, magically amplified, echoed in the air. “It’s still Gryffindor with 230 points and Slytherin with only 80. Well friends, it seems to me Slytherin is losing, and losing bad.”

A loud booing came up from the Slytherin crowd

“Remember to be impartial, Miss Fortescue,” Professor McGonagall’s voice came up from where she was as always supervising the commentary.

“Maths is impartial, Professor, and according to maths Slytherin is losing right now.”

Remus chuckled as he leaned on the railing in front of the first row of benches, starting down into the pitch. He had never fallen in love with Quidditch like Sirius had done, or like both Peter and James had been since they were able to walk, but he had to admit that the players flying by on their broomsticks was an exciting and quite elegant sight. Each one had their own style and knowing them perfectly he had no trouble finding both James and Sirius up in the air. James flew like a cannonball, decided, implacable, focused solely on his goal. Sirius’s flight was more elegant, he looked weightless until the moment he approached a Bludger and swung his bat at it, sending it precisely where he wanted with incredible force. Her bat over her shoulder, Marlene was somehow a mix of James and Sirius’s flying techniques, unstoppable but at the same time light enough to easily avoid Bludgers aimed at her before sending them back. Maybe the only one with a style of flight even more elegant than Sirius’s was Sirius’s brother, Regulus Black, who was soaring over the pitch in perfect loops, undoubtedly looking for the Snitch. Just as Remus was looking at him, Regulus’s broomstick suddenly pointed down and Sirius’s brother plunged into a dive, soon followed by Gryffindor’s Seeker. The crowd screamed and even Remus leaned forward.

“Seeker Regulus Black is pointing directly at the grass, so either he’s seen the Snitch or he urgently needs the bathroom,” Alice’s voice came from over the noise. “I can’t see from here if the Snitch is actually down there, so- GODRIC, James Potter is flying towards the goalpost, Quaffle in hand and come on James! YES, IT’S ANOTHER GOAL FOR GRYFFINDOR! Ten points more, which brings- AND REGULUS BLACK HAS THE SNITCH, THE MATCH IS OVER!”

The shrill trill announcing the end of the match came among shouts and people starting to cheer confusedly from both sides before Alice’s voice came back on.

“Slytherin catches the Snitch and with an additional 150 points gets to 230! But with Potter’s last goal Gryffindor adds another ten points to its score so it’s SLYTHERIN 230 AND GRYFFINDOR 240! GRYFFINDOR WINS THE MATCH AND THE CUP! FRANK, YOU DID IT MY LOVE!”

The whole pitch erupted in cheers, drowning out the disappointed shouts from the Slytherin side. Remus grinned as he watched the whole Gryffindor team fly in formation to the tribune where a very moved Professor McGonagall handed the gigantic silver cup to Frank who kissed it and then passed it to James to lift it over their heads among the cheers and screams around them. Remus was clapping with everyone else when one red-clad figure detached itself from the team and Sirius flew directly to him, stopping his broomstick right on the other side of the railing.

“Moony, you’re awake! And you’re here!”

“I didn’t want to miss your big match,” Remus smiled, his heart cartwheeling in his chest like every time Sirius was close to him. “That cup looks amazing.”

But Sirius was smiling at him, an infectious smile that seemed to make everything that still hurt in Remus’s body vanish. He nudged his broomstick even closer and half a second later Remus felt his hands on his cheeks dragging him closer before his mouth met his. He vaguely heard the people around them cheer even louder, the sound carrying everywhere as he raised his arms to encircle Sirius’s waist.

“I love you, Moony,” Sirius whispered against his lips.

“I love you too, Padfoot,” Remus answered before kissing him again.

The Full had passed, Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup, James would be captain the following year and he was kissing his boyfriend in public. Yes, Remus had definitely not run out of luck.