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Anakin stood across from him pacing back and forth in anticipation of the fight they were about to have. Obi Wan, as he always did when he had the time, started to think over everything he knew about how Anakin fought. Anakin always favoured his right side after he lost his arm, it was instinctual after Dooku cut it off nearly four years ago, Something that he had never been able to get rid of. Obi Wan knew that he could use that, act like he was aiming for the prosthetic and then switch and before Anakin knew what had happened he'd be... Obi Wan felt like he would choke, even as he continued to breath slowly. All it would take Obi Wan to kill his former student would be one slip up and he would be no more, dead, put down like the rabid cur he had become. Like the children Anakin himself had murdered.
And he would do it to. That had never been in doubt, not to Obi Wan, He would just aim for the kill and... and Anakin would be no more. But He would do it, he had to, to bring peace to their shattered galaxy. As Obi Wan steeled himself to do what had to be done, he felt it, cascading across the entire galaxy, the Sith's victory was complete, Yoda had failed to kill Palpatine. It didn't matter anymore. they had lost truly and completely lost. and as Obi Wan stared into Anakin's blue eyes, eyes that gleamed with satisfaction, He knew that Anakin felt it too.
He glanced from where he had been staring down Anakin and just looked at the lightsaber in his hand. it had more or less been with him since he had built it after his first battle with Maul. when he had lost his master. After a long moment, he looked back up and just gazed at his Former Padawan, his Friend... His brother. 'Is this what you foresaw master? the student you had, fighting against the one you wanted.' He only needed to look at his lightsaber's hilt for a second before he held it out in front of him, a second later, and the disassembled parts of the thing that had once been his life fell to the ground of the mining platform.
He saw confusion in the eyes that he would have never believed held so much more then the playful kindness he used to see, and so much less. For a long few moments, the space between them didn't know what to be, and than Obi wan started to speak. "thirty five years alive, and in all that time the pursuit of the 'perfect Jedi' always haunted me, like a bright, brilliant shadow. The Ideal of a perfect Hero... The only times I ever felt it leave me be were when you became a Knight and when you truly accepted Ahsoka as your Padawan." He gave a small half hearted shrug, like he didn't know why he was talking or what he was saying. "I was always so caught up in what it meant to be a jedi, the things we were supposed to do, the things we were supposed to be. Here, at the end, after it no longer matters, Only Now, do I finally realize what it truly meant to be a Jedi."
Obi Wan looked up at the Dark, ash filled sky, and almost laughed, or cried, he couldn't tell. he would have if he had the energy to do more then breath and talk aimlessly. "It isn't our power in The Force or skill with a blade. It isn't the code and the other tenets of the Order, it isn't any of the multitude of philosophies written a thousand or more years ago. It is simply the will to help someone you see in need, to help, to protect. All else is a lie if you fail that simple and yet infinitely challenging test."
He looked back over at Anakin, "I think we both made for pour jedi. Always seeking more, always striving for that one 'Thing' that would make all the difference." A long moment of silence stretched out as the two of them looked at each other, the only sounds being the hum of the shielding keeping the mining rig functional and the magma flowing below. "What do you think the galaxy would look like if there weren't men like you and me." His question was met with silence. As Anakin only watched on bewildered and lost at how to proceed. "How Many people do you think have died because of people like us took a stand for what we believe is right and fair, telling the world, No, You move. In the last four years? Easily a trillion and more. in all of history, An uncountable magnitude. Do you think they would thank us? Do you ever wonder what the mothers and fathers of the children that died for our causes would say if they were still alive to say it?" Obi wan shook his head, "I haven't, not until now, I'm not brave enough. I just told myself that it would be worth it in the end, even as a hill became a mountain of broken bodies and a pond became an oceanof blood. How many little boys and little girls do you think died in each others arms because you and I came to their world to reclaim it for the Republic, for democracy, for peace? I dare not wonder."
He covered his face with his hand and asked, "How can you do it Anakin, How can you stand there and not shatter from the guilt of what you have done? How can you bare to look at yourself after everything, How can you not crumble apart at the memory of the faces, of the children silent and still, like they were never meant to be."
Obi Wan looked at Anakin and saw a frozen still mind, hiding behind a blank face. "When did we start lying to ourselves, when did the lives of others become a number in a report, a means to an end, anything other then priceless!" For the first time during his entire tirade Obi Wan raised his voice. "When did an ideal, ANY ideal start to matter more then the lives men like you and me reap for our causes!"
"When did we become men like you and men like me..." Obi Wan murmured, as tears finally started to fall from both of their faces.