Work Text:
JZ 10:00 a.m.
Hey.
JZ 10:00 a.m.
I hope you don’t mind but I told my parents about us.
JZ 10:02 a.m.
This is weird to text I just know you’re busy and I feel bad.
JZ 10:02 a.m.
So I just wanted to say sorry.
JZ 10:03 a.m.
And they’re happy we’re together, so don’t worry okay?
JZ 10:03 a.m.
Sorry.
CC 10:04 a.m.
Uhhh… hi jack
JO 10:05 a.m.
what….,,the fuck
JO 10:05 a.m.
WTF????!!!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!
AB 10:07 a.m.
BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
JO 10:10 a.m.
JAAAAAACK W T F
AB 10:10 a.m.
TEAM MEETING AT THE HAUS IN TEN
CC 10:10 a.m.
but i have class!!
DN 10:10 a.m.
dude just skip it’s gd
WP 10:11 a.m.
chowder go to class
DN 10:11 a.m.
Y the hell r u the boss of him
AB 10:11 a.m.
SHUT UP N GET UR ASSES TO THE HAUS
SK 10:08 a.m.
dude
SK 10:08 a.m.
duuude ur so fuckin OLD
JZ 10:09 a.m.
Oh my god.
JZ 10:09 a.m.
Oh my god.
JZ 10:10 a.m.
I swear I was texting him.
JZ 10:11 a.m.
I don’t know what I did wrong I thought I clicked his name.
SK 10:12 a.m.
brooooooo dw honestly u shd just tell them
SK 10:14 a.m.
babe
SK 10:15 a.m.
jack talk 2 me bb
SK 10:15 a.m.
pls dont freak out breathe ok
JZ 10:15 a.m.
Sorry.
JZ 10:15 a.m.
I was just thinking.
JZ 10:15 a.m.
Bitty didn’t want to tell them yet and I just ruined everything for him.
SK 10:16 a.m.
no no no get out of tht pretty little head of urs
SK 10:16 a.m.
im calling u the second i get out of class ok
SK 10:17 a.m.
ok ft me
JZ 10:18 a.m.
That was fast.
SK 10:19 a.m.
;) ;) ;)
EB 11:00 a.m.
Jack...
JZ 11:01 a.m.
Oh. You’re out of class.
EB 11:02 a.m.
Yup
JZ 11:02 a.m.
I’m so sorry Eric I really didn’t mean to text the group chat.
EB 11:02 a.m.
Oh honey
JZ 11:02 a.m.
I’m sorry. I know you wanted to wait.
EB 11:03 a.m.
It’s okay. I just wanted it to be ours I think?
EB 11:04 a.m.
Oh lord does that make any sense?
JZ 11:05 a.m.
Kind of?
EB 11:05 a.m.
Look it’s just…
EB 11:05 a.m.
When everyone knows…
EB 11:06 a.m.
They’ll all just know!
EB 11:06 a.m.
You know?
JZ 11:07 a.m.
In English Bitty?
EB 11:07 a.m.
Sorry, I’m nervous.
EB 11:15 a.m.
It’s just that if everyone knows then they’ll be all up in our business, you know how they are. It just feels so special with just the two of us knowing. I know that’s dumb but it’s how I feel okay?
EB 11:16 a.m.
Well. The two of us and Señor Bun.
EB 11:17 a.m.
…..and your parents
JZ 11:18 a.m.
Oh right about that...
EB 11:19 a.m.
It’s fine Jack, really. If you’re happy they’re happy, I’m happy.
JZ 11:20 a.m.
Oh.
JZ 11:21 a.m.
Okay.
EB 11:22 a.m.
Is there something else??
JZ 11:23 a.m.
Yeah.
JZ 11:24 a.m.
My mom might text you later.
EB 11:25 a.m.
Oh lord
EB 11:25 a.m.
You gave her my number?!
JZ 11:26 a.m.
Well she asked!
EB 11:27 a.m.
Oh my gosh.
EB 11:27 a.m.
This is a lot
JZ 11:28 a.m.
Sorry.
EB 11:29 a.m.
stop apologizing!
JZ 11:30 a.m.
Right, right, sorry.
JZ 11:31 a.m.
Anyways.
EB 11:32 a.m.
Anyways?!
JZ 11:32 a.m.
Are we telling the team? I mean, they don’t know it’s you. Just that it’s someone.
EB 11:34 a.m.
Oh. Just give me some time to think on it okay?
JZ 11:35 a.m.
Of course.
JZ 11:36 a.m.
I’ll call you after the game tonight.
EB 11:36 a.m.
Good :)
JO 12:01 p.m.
soooooo
AB 12:02 p.m.
SOOOOOOOOO
JO 12:02 p.m.
what’s happenin jay-z?
JZ 12:05 p.m.
We’re not doing this.
JO 12:06 p.m.
DOING WHAT? TALKING ABT UR SECRET GF?????????
JO 12:07 p.m.
THTS P DAMN BIG BRO
CC 12:10 p.m.
Jack you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to!
AB 12:12 p.m.
STAY OUT OF THIS CHOWDER
LD 12:15 p.m.
will u guys shut the fuck up
AB 12:15 p.m.
just mute ur phone bro
LD 12:16 p.m.
I’m waiting for a call!
AB 12:17 p.m.
from who??
LD 12:20 p.m.
uh none of ur damn business??
AB 12:21 p.m.
wtF?
JO 12:22 p.m.
Ok r we the only ones not in a secret relationship or….?
CC 12:23 p.m.
I’m not!
CC 12:23 p.m.
I mean, you guys know about my relationship!
CC 12:23 p.m.
Farmer says hi, by the way!
CC 12:24 p.m.
She also says she’s happy for Jack and the mystery girl.
JZ 12:25 p.m.
Can we just drop this?
JZ 12:26 p.m.
Please?
CC 12:26 p.m.
Sorry Jack :(
AB 12:27 p.m.
I’m not sorry. I want D E E T S
JO 12:29 p.m.
DEEEEEEEETS
EB 12:32 p.m.
Pie downstairs! Save Lardo a piece!
JO 12:32 p.m.
YOOOOOOOOOOO
AB 12:32 p.m.
Y OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
JZ 12:35 p.m.
Thanks for the pie diversion.
EB 12:36 p.m.
;) I got your back.
EB 12:37 p.m.
It’s maple apple
JZ 12:38 p.m.
Mon dieu.
EB 12:39 p.m.
:))))) i miss you too
SK 5:00 p.m.
soooooooooo
SK 5:01 p.m.
text me baaaack
SK 5:02 p.m.
oh fuck ya got a game
SK 5:05 p.m.
go eat tht pb n j & sext ya bf
SK 5:06 p.m.
and get me a hatty ;)
JO 7:40 p.m.
sooooooooooo
JO 7:42 p.m.
do u think mystery girl is @ the game tn
AB 7:43 p.m.
i bet if she is he’s gettin sucked off g d tn for how he’s playin
AB 7:45 p.m.
OH SH IT
AB 7:47 p.m.
KILL IT JAKC
AB 7:48 p.m.
HES GETTNG IT SO GOOD TONGIGHT
EB 7:50 p.m.
Oh lord.
JZ 11:02 p.m.
Hi.
SK 11:05 p.m.
JACK FUCK IN ZIMMERMANN
SK 11:06 p.m.
I CNT BELIEVE U GOT ME THAT HATTY
JZ 11:07 p.m.
Of course.
JZ 11:07 p.m.
And "sexting" Bitty isn’t part of my pre-game ritual, by the way.
SK 11:08 p.m.
ok but post game,,,...
SK 11:10 p.m.
;~)))))))))))))
JZ 11:11 p.m.
Talk tomorrow Shitty.
SK 11:12 p.m.
GD WE HAV SHIT 2 DISCUSS
SK 11:13 p.m.
GET IT JACK
EB 9:56 p.m.
Great game Jack :D
JZ 11:15 p.m.
Thanks Bitty.
EB 11:16 p.m.
You know…
EB 11:17 p.m.
Well…
JZ 11:18 p.m.
What?
EB 11:19 p.m.
everything the guys were saying about what your “secret girlfriend” would do with you if she was there isn’t too far off…
JZ 11:20 p.m.
Oh.
JZ 11:20 p.m.
I’ll be at the hotel in five.
EB 11:20 p.m.
Good.
JO 11:12 a.m.
ok bro
JZ 11:15 a.m.
Nope, still not doing this.
JO 11:15 a.m.
BROOOOOOOO
JO 11:16 a.m.
UR KILLING US
DN 11:16 a.m.
Im chill tbh
WP 11:17 a.m.
Of course you are.
DN 11:20 a.m.
??/?
AB 11:25 a.m.
Ok dude
AB 11:25 a.m.
Jack dude Jack bro Jack
LD 11:26 a.m.
oh my god shut the fuck up
SK 11:27 a.m.
^^!!
AB 11:28 a.m.
JACK
JZ 11:35 a.m.
What?
AB 11:36 a.m.
Wager:
AB 11:36 a.m.
we get a shut out against BU tn, u answer ten questions about the secret gf
EB 11:36 a.m.
C’mon y’all let the boy live!
JZ 11:37 a.m.
Three questions. They have to be G rated.
AB 11:37 a.m.
5 questions. PG.
JZ 11:40 a.m.
Deal.
JO 11:41 a.m.
‘SWAWESOME
AB 11:41 a.m.
SWASOMEE
JO 11:45 a.m.
Wait wtf is the difference between G and PG?
AB 11:46 a.m.
One word for ya
AB 11:47 a.m.
SMOOCHES!
JO 11:48 a.m.
NNI C E
BZ 12:03 p.m.
Hi Eric!
EB 12:04 p.m.
Hi?
BZ 12:05 p.m.
:)
EB 12:06 p.m.
I’m sorry who is this? I don’t have your number saved which is really unlike me I’m SO sorry!
BZ 12:07 p.m.
It’s okay :)
BZ 12:08 p.m.
It’s your future father-in-law.
BZ 12:08 p.m.
Haha :)
EB 12:09 p.m.
What?
EB 12:09 p.m.
Oh my gosh, Mr. Zimmermann?
BZ 12:10 p.m.
You got it son! You really are a sharp one!
BZ 12:11 p.m.
I got your number from Alicia, I hope that’s okay! :)
BZ 12:11 p.m.
And sorry if that joke earlier was a little much. Jack clearly doesn’t get his sense of humor from me!
EB 12:12 p.m.
Oh it’s alright!
BZ 12:12 p.m.
:)
EB 12:15 p.m.
Oh my lord.
SK 12:16 p.m.
whaddup bits
EB 12:16 p.m.
I think Bad Bob Zimmermann just called me his future son-in-law??
SK 12:17 p.m.
fUCKC
SK 12:18 p.m.
i mean it’s tru tho
SK 12:20 p.m.
five bucks says ur a fuckin tomato rn
EB 12:21 p.m.
STOP
EB 5:06 p.m.
You know I’m not going to not try for a shut-out because of your horrible bargaining skills.
JZ 5:07 p.m.
Of course.
JZ 5:07 p.m.
Although BU’s playing a really strong season, I think we’re safe.
EB 5:08 p.m.
EXCUSE ME!
EB 5:09 p.m.
Is that a challenge Mr. Zimmermann?
JZ 5:10 p.m.
What? No.
EB 5:11 p.m.
Oh it’s so on!!!!
EB 5:12 p.m.
;D
JZ 11:02 p.m.
Shit.
JZ 11:05 p.m.
Really though, congrats guys. Great game.
JO 11:45 p.m.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEE
JO 11:46 p.m.
UR NOT GETTIN OFF THE HOOK THT EASY
JO 11:46 p.m.
AFTER THS KEGSTER WE R COMIN FOR Y A
BZ 11:05 p.m.
Killer game Eric! :)
EB 11:30 p.m.
Oh gosh thanks Mr. Zimmermann!
EB 11:31 p.m.
And thanks for watching!
BZ 11:35 p.m.
Of course Eric!
BZ 11:36 p.m.
And call me Bob :)
EB 11:37 p.m.
I’m not sure if my southern hospitable heart can handle that.
BZ 11:38 p.m.
Give it time.
EB 11:40 p.m.
:D
BZ 11:41 p.m.
What are you doing texting an old geezer like me? Go celebrate that shut-out don’t let me keep you!
EB 11:45 p.m.
Lol don’t worry you’re not, I’m just in my room right now!
BZ 11:46 p.m.
You don’t have to lie to me Eric. Jack may be an old man but that doesn’t mean the rest of us are. You’re allowed to have fun ;)
EB 11:47 p.m.
I’m really not lying
BZ 11:50 p.m.
After a game like that?! You must be!
EB 11:55 p.m.
Haha I’m skyping Jack. Look!
EB 11:56 p.m.
Media Message [tap to download]
BZ 11:58 p.m.
Tell him to let you party.
JZ 12:00 a.m.
Please leave Eric alone.
JZ 12:01 a.m.
Please.
BZ 12:02 a.m.
We’re bonding!
JZ 12:05 a.m.
Is maman awake?
BZ 12:06 a.m.
Yes. Is everything okay?
JZ 12:10 a.m.
Maman please get papa to leave Eric alone.
AZ 12:11 a.m.
He’s talking to Eric?
JZ 12:12 a.m.
Yes.
AZ 12:15 a.m.
Why isn’t Eric talking to me?
AZ 12:16 a.m.
I want to share my Samwell stories with him!
JZ 12:17 a.m.
Mon dieu.
JO 12:06 p.m.
Question no. 1: is she gd in bed?
EB 12:07 p.m.
Oh lord stop.
JZ 12:30 p.m.
How is that pg rated?
AB 12:31 p.m.
well he didnt say fuck !!
JO 12:35 p.m.
Ya!!!
JO 12:35 p.m.
So ???!!!!!????????
JZ 4:00 p.m.
Yes.
WP 4:05 p.m.
what
JZ 4:06 p.m.
Sorry I was at practice. That’s my answer.
JZ 4:06 p.m.
To the first question.
JO 4:09 p.m.
HOLY FUCKCMFUIGNG
SK 4:10 p.m.
soooooooo
JZ 4:14 p.m.
Yes Shitty?
SK 4:15 p.m.
u gonna correct their pronouns?
JZ 4:15 p.m.
Isn’t that your job?
SK 4:16 p.m.
not when it means outing u nah
SK 4:16 p.m.
but if u ever do want me 2 talk 2 them lmk
SK 4:17 p.m.
(that’s let me know)
JZ 4:17 p.m.
Thanks Shitty.
SK 4:18 p.m.
of course !!
SK 4:20 p.m.
420 B LA ZIE IT !!!!!!!!!
AB 5:00 p.m.
question no. 2:
AB 5:00 p.m.
where’d ya meet her?
JZ 5:01 p.m.
Samwell.
JO 5:02 p.m.
???????!!!!!!!! WTF
AB 5:03 p.m.
WTF FJFFJ
AB 5:04 p.m.
DO WE KNOW HER R
JZ 5:05 p.m.
Yes.
JZ 5:06 p.m.
But you know everyone.
DN 5:07 p.m.
yeah that was such a waste of a question
AB 5:08 p.m.
u ask one if ur so good nurse!
JO 5:10 p.m.
Don’t give him one of our questions!
DN 5:11 p.m.
nah i got this
DN 5:12 p.m.
how long have u been together?
JZ 5:14 p.m.
Five months and three weeks.
DN 5:14 p.m.
broooooooo
JO 5:14 p.m.
BR OOOO
AB 5:15 p.m.
brOooOoOOoOOOOOoooOO
JZ 5:15 p.m.
One more question.
CC 5:16 p.m.
I wanna ask one!
AB 5:17 p.m.
This is high stakes chowder
CC 5:17 p.m.
I can do it!!
LD 5:18 p.m.
yeah give the kid a chance
AB 5:19 p.m.
ok fine
CC 5:20 p.m.
Oh gosh! I didn’t actually have a question I didn’t think you would say yes!
CC 5:21 p.m.
Ummm
AB 5:25 p.m.
Tick tock Chowder.
CC 5:27 p.m.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
CC 5:28 p.m.
um
CC 5:30 p.m.
What’s your song?
AB 5:31 p.m.
WTF CHOWDER
JO 5:32 p.m.
WHY
JZ 5:35 p.m.
Halo
JZ 5:37 p.m.
The Beyoncé song.
AB 5:38 p.m.
Oh shit.
AB 5:39 p.m.
Bitty wd love her!!!!!
LD 5:40 p.m.
oh my fucking god
WP 5:45 p.m.
Wait why didn’t you just ask what her name is?
JO 5:46 p.m.
SHIT
BZ 6:00 p.m.
Hi everyone :)
EB 6:02 p.m.
Hi?
BZ 6:04 p.m.
I created this family group chat so we can all talk!
JZ 6:05 p.m.
Papa!
SK 6:06 p.m.
shhhh just let it be jack
JZ 6:10 p.m.
Why are you here Shitty?
SK 6:12 p.m.
uhhhh bc i’m part of the fam?
SK 6:15 p.m.
who do u think taught him how to start a gc
JZ 6:17 p.m.
I hate you.
AZ 6:18 p.m.
Jack! Be nice!
EB 6:20 p.m.
Yeah Jack!!
SK 6:21 p.m.
dw we got ur back bad dad bob!
SK 6:22 p.m.
or shd i say GOOD DAD BOB!
AZ 6:23 p.m.
You really shouldn’t dear.
JZ 6:23 p.m.
Please stop.
BZ 6:25 p.m.
Thanks Shitty!
BZ 6:27 p.m.
How’s everyone doing? :)
AZ 6:30 p.m.
Good!
SK 6:31 p.m.
KILLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BZ 6:33 p.m.
Eric?
EB 6:35 p.m.
Oh I’m good! :D
BZ 6:40 p.m.
That’s good :)
BZ 6:41 p.m.
What’s up?
JZ 6:42 p.m.
Mon dieu.
JZ 7:00 p.m.
Hi Bitty.
EB 7:02 p.m.
Hi Jack.
JZ 7:05 p.m.
Sorry I told them about the song.
JZ 7:05 p.m.
It could have given it away.
EB 7:06 p.m.
It’s fine they wouldn’t get it unless we screamed it in their faces
EB 7:06 p.m.
Speaking of…
EB 7:07 p.m.
I think we should tell them
JZ 7:07 p.m.
We don’t have to.
EB 7:08 p.m.
No we should
EB 7:08 p.m.
I’ve been thinking.
EB 7:09 p.m.
A lot.
EB 7:10 p.m.
And I think it’d be good if they knew.
EB 7:11 p.m.
I like your parents knowing. Is that weird? Like I like that they know and that our lives are tangled together and now I’m someone to them.
EB 7:12 p.m.
Oh lord this is cheesy
EB 7:13 p.m.
I guess what I’m saying is that we’re still something special, even if people know. Maybe even more special.
EB 7:13 p.m.
I mean, not everybody, obviously, just the team
JZ 7:14 p.m.
And Señor Bun
EB 7:15 p.m.
Of course :D
JZ 7:30 p.m.
Eric
EB 7:31 p.m.
Jack
JZ 7:32 p.m.
You know someday everybody will know right?
JZ 7:33 p.m.
I mean, I want them to.
JZ 7:34 p.m.
Someday.
EB 7:35 p.m.
Oh Jack
EB 7:36 p.m.
I don’t care when someday is as long as I can kiss you someday soon alright?
JZ 7:37 p.m.
Works for me :-)
JZ 7:38 p.m.
Shitty and I are skyping wanna join?
EB 7:40 p.m.
I’m about to make an I’ve Been Secretly Dating Jack Zimmermann for Half a Year Pie for the boys
EB 7:41 p.m.
After?
JZ 7:42 p.m.
I’m free anytime Bitty.
EB 7:43 p.m.
No you’re not!
JZ 7:45 p.m.
For you I am.
EB 7:46 p.m.
Oh Jack :)))))
JO 9:03 p.m.
what
JO 9:03 p.m.
The FUC K
AB 9:03 p.m.
WTF
JZ 9:04 p.m.
Hi guys.
JZ 9:05 p.m.
How was the pie?
CC 9:05 p.m.
Jack!!! Is it true that you and Bitty are dating?! I mean, I believe Bitty obviously but you’re all always trying to prank me so I can’t tell! Not like it’d be funny if you were dating, it wouldn’t it’d be sooo great!
JZ 9:06 p.m.
Ha ha yes we are Chowder.
CC 9:06 p.m.
:O
CC 9:07 p.m.
YAY!!!!
CC 9:07 p.m.
OMG! We can go on double dates!!!!!!!!!!
EB 9:08 p.m.
Awww
AB 9:09 p.m.
DUDE
AB 9:10 p.m.
I CANT BELVE U DID NT NTELL US
LD 9:11 p.m.
I can’t believe you didn’t figure it out
JO 9:12 p.m.
how wd we have figured it out?!!!
LD 9:13 p.m.
Dude
LD 9:13 p.m.
Halo?
LD 9:14 p.m.
Or how often they text
LD 9:15 p.m.
and talk on the phone
LD 9:15 p.m.
and skype.
AB 9:15 p.m.
I THOUGHT THEY WERE BUDS!!!!!!!!
LD 9:16 p.m.
did u think they were “buds” when there were clearly sex noises coming from bitty’s room the weekend jack visited
SK 9:16 p.m.
O S HIT
EB 9:17 p.m.
LARDO!!!!!
JO 9:18 p.m.
he’s so red rn i think he might explode
EB 9:19 p.m.
STOP!
SK 9:20 p.m.
ok before bitty dies id like to note the fact tht it was so fucked tht u all assumed jack was w a girl
SK 9:21 p.m.
i expect an essay on the harms of heteronormativity postmarked to me no later than saturday, no less than 1500 words
SK 9:22 p.m.
Except u lardo u star!
LD 9:24 p.m.
;)
JO 9:25 p.m.
Wait. Bitty’s the secret girlfriend.
JZ 9:26 p.m.
Yes Ransom.
JO 9:26 p.m.
So that means…
AB 9:27 p.m.
BITTY’S RLY GOOD IN BED!
JZ 9:30 p.m.
Mon dieu.