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----March 20th, 20XX----
The evening breeze is nice, but Langa must admit it's a bit annoying, he thinks as he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear for the umpteenth time. If his hair gets in his eye again, he swears he might start crying. He really needs a haircut... Or maybe a headband. He's sure Reki wouldn't mind sparing one.
God, everything really does go back to him, doesn't it? Ever since that momentous talk with his mom ("You like this person, don't you?" and how could he say no?) He's been realizing just how much he's thought of his best friend.
...And just how much he wishes Reki wasn't his best friend.
Don't get him wrong- he loves Reki with all his heart, he never wants to separate from him- but that's precisely the issue. He doesn't think he can handle being Reki's friend, not because he doesn't love him, but because he loves him a little too much.
How is he supposed to explain to him that he wanted to kiss him from the moment he did that jump over his head in front of Dope Sketch? That every time they skate together, it takes everything Langa has to not blurt out "I love you" when the wind tousles red hair a little too much?
He just has to stay quiet about it, he knows that. For god's sake, Reki doesn't even know he's gay. He doesn't think he'd mind, he seems too kind for that. But then again... His mom did warn him that Japan was different about this kind of stuff. He can't risk it.
He'll just stick to admiring from afar, and trying to sew his heart back together when Reki inevitably ends up with a beautiful woman.
Because it is inevitable. Reki is just so warm, and he's so pretty. The way his freckles become more apparent in the hot months, the tan lines on his arms, the frizzy mess that is his bedhead. Don't even get him started on his personality. He's so chaotic, and he's perfect.
He's so talented, too. He has a whole box full of sketchbooks, all filled to the brim with doodles and skateboard designs- even a few actual drawings too. Langa might have to ask him how he draws landscapes so well one day.
He's been branching out into more woodworking, too. The drawer on his nightstand broke a few months ago, and instead of buying a new one, he made one. He's been doing that ever since- when something breaks, he repairs it. He's even building a full nightstand for Joe and Cherry because they mentioned needing one in Sia La Luce one night, and Reki jumped on the opportunity, and started sketching before they even had time to say no.
He's incredible, is what Langa is trying to say. It's only a matter of time until a lady he likes realizes that too.
Is it bad to say Langa is jealous? He shouldn't be, Reki deserves to be happy, but is it wrong of him to wish he could be happy with just him? Forgo marrying a woman and stay with him forever? Maybe Reki could get enough fulfillment out of Langa's too-tidy hair, and his slight accent, and his hand movements.
No, he shouldn't think like that. He doesn't want to get too hopeful. It's only a matter of time until Reki gets a date. That's why he needs to work on this.
"Hey man," Reki pants,(Normal, Langa, be normal. You literally just said you had to work on this) flopping down next to him under the tree. "You alright? It's not like you to sit down for so long when your skateboard's in reach."
How long had he been sitting here? He thought it was only a few minutes, but now he's not so sure. Can you blame him, though? Watching Reki skate is mesmerizing.
"Yeah, I'm alright." He settles for. What is he supposed to say, "No, I've been thinking of holding the back of your head and kissing you senseless for the past half hour"? Hell no, he's not admitting that out loud.
Reki furrows his brows a little, his fingers fidgeting with themselves. "You sure?"
Langa hates making him worry, but he really can't say what he's thinking about. He just hopes a nod, and getting back on his board is enough to convince The Sun he's alright.
----April 5th, 20XX----
"Langa, man," Reki is laughing a little, chasing him. God, why did Langa say anything?
"Dude," He catches up, grabbing Langa's wrist. "Why didn't you tell me you had an ex?"
("Like anyone would ever wanna go out with you," Miya teases, and he's not sure how they got here. He zoned out for a while, and came back to Miya and Reki arguing.
"I think someone would," He mumbles. He can't let Reki know he likes him, but that doesn't mean he can't convince Reki other people can.
"Like you would know." And Langa doesn't know why he continues. He doesn't know why he says it, he shouldn't have.
"Tell my ex that." He was hardly even an ex, they were friends for a while, and dated for like 2 months before Langa had to move. He could count the number of times they kissed on his hands, not to mention how much the other hated anything even vaguely couple-esc. He just wanted Reki to value his opinion, he guesses. If he had experience, then maybe Reki would be more inclined to believe him.
He faked getting a text from his mom so he could leave before he could answer any questions, and sped walked out of Sia La Luce before grabbing his board. He knew Reki came with him, but he didn't say anything until they were off their boards outside of Langa's house.)
Langa just shrugs, attempting to walk inside.
"Don't tell me your mom's waiting on you, you little liar," He jabs, shoving his shoulder a little with his own. "Her car isn't in the driveway."
He just shoots Reki a look, one of embarrassment, silently saying he knows Reki will never let him live this down. Reki laughs, walking ahead of him, still holding his wrist.
"Fine, fine. We can go inside. You're telling me all the details once we're in there, though."
Usually, Langa loves his bed. Usually, Langa loves his bed even more when Reki is sitting on it with him. But usually, they aren't sitting on his bed to discuss Langa's sad excuse for a love life.
"Alright," Reki claps his hands together. "Tell me about her."
Of course he assumes it was a girl. He can't blame him, it's not like he's done anything to make him think otherwise.
"I mean, there's not much to say." There isn't, truly. He could talk about all the pathetic dates they went on but he doesn't think that'd be fun for either of them.
"Well, there's gotta be something. How long were you together for?" Langa takes a moment to think, doing the math in his head.
"About 2 months? I was friends with him for a while before that, though. Her- I mean." Holy fucking shit. How stupid could someone be? Langa is this close to ditching this conversation and tossing himself out his window.
Reki has a look on his face, like barely concealed shock, but he just nods. "Pronouns must be confusing when it's not your native language, I get it." Reki knows Langa has never had issues with it before, but he's not going to not take the escape route Reki gave him.
"Yeah." He swallows, when did his mouth get so dry? "But we broke up because I had to move. It didn't really feel like we were dating anyway."
Reki tilts his head a little. "What do you mean?"
"We didn't really go on dates? I mean we went on a few, but they were all full of hi-her trying to pretend like we werent dating. I guess she just didnt want people to know she liked me."
Now that really gets a reaction out of him. "What the hell? Asshole, why wouldn't she want people to know?" Langa always thinks it's a little funny when Reki gets defensive on his behalf. He thinks it's hot, too, of course.
He just shrugs. "I guess she just thought people would judge her for it."
Reki looks like he's about to say more, but Langa really doesn't want to keep talking about it. He knows that if he does, he'll probably find a way to out himself. He's lucky Reki was nice enough to give him that out earlier, he doesn't want to push it.
He stands, quickly leaving the room under the guise of wanting a snack. He ignores Reki when he says they just ate, and goes to make a quick sandwich.
Two sandwiches, actually. Maybe if he gives Reki food he'll forget what he wanted to say.
He brings them into his room, grabbing one off the plate and handing it to the redhead. "Didn't want to eat in front of you."
Reki just takes it, and they eat in awkward silence. Or is it just awkward on Langa's side? Does awkward silence have to be mutual to be awkward, or is Langa just overthinking? He's probably overthinking. He does that a lot.
He sets his plate on his nightstand (He'll wash it later) when he's done eating, and he leans against the headboard. Is it obvious he's trying to act normal, or is he actually acting normal?
"Langa," Reki starts. He goes silent after it, though, like he's trying to figure out if he should say what he wants to or not.
Langa hums, he's too scared to open his mouth right now. He doesn't think he'd be able to say anything coherent.
"Were you actually dating a guy?"
Of course he asked. It's not like Langa hid it very well. He probably could have saved it if he hadn't cowered away and left the room like he did.
"What would you say if I was?" His voice is quiet, like despite the fact they're here alone, if he raised his voice the whole world would hear him.
"Well," Reki shifts a little, scooting closer, and leaning against the headboard with him. "I'd ask why you seemed so scared to tell me."
Langa turns his head, looking between Reki's brows (He can't stand eye contact, this is the best he can do.) "Japan is different. I didn't know if you'd think badly of me if I was."
Reki smiles a little, and shoves his shoulder with his. "Stupid. I don't think anything could make me think badly of you."
Is it bad that Langa wants to kiss him? That he wants to grab the side of Reki's face, press their lips together? It wouldn't be smooth, Reki bites his lips too much for that, but it would be Reki. That's all Langa needs.
Langa just lets out a small "Oh," before turning away. He can't keep staring at Reki's face, he's scared he'll say too much if he does.
Reki just huffs a laugh, and pulls him in for a hug. "I can't believe you thought I'd think differently of you. You're still you, whether or not you wanna kiss guys doesn't change that."
Langa isn't sure why, but it feels like someone took a mountain off his chest. He wraps his arms around Reki, and, embarrassingly, cries a little into the shoulder of his hoodie. He had prepared himself to be hated. He thought Reki was too kind for that, but he doesn't know how stuff works over here. He couldn't risk it, he just assumed Reki would, at the very least, break off their friendship. He can't handle Reki reacting this nicely.
Reki just pets the back of his head, letting him cry. Langa would have told him sooner had he known he'd get this long of a hug out of it.
God, he's so fucked.
----July 14th, 20XX----
Langa almost wishes the breeze from March came back, he'd glady take hair in his eyes over the blaring heat. The shade from the tree is his only saving grace. Reki's too, considering how he's lying right next to him, fanning his face.
"Hey Langa?" Reki says, his voice a little quieter than usual. Langa just chalks it up to the heat, as he crumples his empty chip bag and shoves it into his backpack to throw away later.
"Yeah?" When he looks over, Reki has some expression that Langa can't describe. He almost looks worried.
"Can I ask you a question?" Is Langa allowed to say this is weird? He's never seen Reki like this, and quite frankly, it's very alarming. His mind is scrolling through all the things that could be bothering him as he scoots a little closer. "Always."
Reki swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing with the action. "How," He pauses, suddenly messing with his hair, almost as a distraction. "How did you know you liked guys?"
Well, Langa isn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't that. Why is Reki even asking? Langa almost thinks it may be his way of confessing- but he cuts that thought off almost as fast as he forms it. He refuses to get his hopes up too much.
"Uh," Wow, really eloquent start, Langa. "I guess I just always knew? I'd hear things about other boys dating girls and I just never got it." He pauses for a moment, before continuing. "I think I had some weird childhood crush on one of my middle school teachers, actually. So it was kind of obvious for me."
Reki chortles a little, seeming a little less nervous. "Okay, no, you can't just say that and not tell me what he looked like."
Langa huffs a laugh. He's glad that worked, he wanted to try and calm Reki down, and based on how relaxed he looks, smiling at him like he holds the key to the universe, he thinks he did his job well. "Well, he wore glasses. The thin rectangle frames," He holds his fingers in front of his eyes, mimicking the shape. "And a short beard, tons of tattoos."
Reki nods his head a little, teasing. "Okay, so beards and glasses is your type, got it."
Langa shoves him a little. "No, actually, I usually prefer clean-shaven. But I liked the tattoos enough to compensate."
Reki starts laughing, so much so that Langa thinks for a moment that he forgot why they were talking about this in the first place.
"Why'd you wanna know?" He can't not ask, he doesn't want to make Reki uncomfortable, but this will eat him alive if he doesn't know.
Reki's laughter dies down, and Langa starts feeling guilty. He should have just left it alone, let Reki tell him what he meant on his own time. Before he can get too deep into his thoughts, though, Reki just shrugs. "Just curious," He says, before grabbing his skateboard and heading back to the concrete.
"You coming?"
----July 22nd, 20XX----
Reki's bathroom floor must be hard, Langa knows. It's tile, it can't not be. Yet here Reki is, kneeling on it to patch up Langa's leg.
"That crack wasn't there yesterday," He jokes. Maybe that will take Reki's mind off the pain he has to be feeling in his knees.
Reki laughs, stopping his ministrations long enough for his body to stop shaking with it. "Oh absolutely, I think the sidewalk cracked itself just to trip you up."
Langa smiles, but falls silent again. Why is it that Reki always takes such good care of him? It's not like Langa never takes care of Reki- he's been in his position several times himself, kneeling on the floor patching up a scrape, but of course he does. Reki is incredible, he deserves to have someone care for him. What has Langa done to make Reki think he deserves that too?
Reki twists the cap back onto the ointment he was using (Langa has no idea what it's called, he just trusts Reki enough to know what he's doing) and picks up the bandage. He sticks a safety pin between his lips, holding it in place while he uses his hands to wrap the cloth around his knee and the better part of his shin.
What did Langa do to deserve him? He knew for a long time that he would never get someone to love him like he wanted. He was too quiet, or too strange, or too fidgety, and now that he's in Japan, he has a weird accent too. There's nothing about him for Reki to love. Yet he does anyway.
He remembers the first time Reki said it- they were watching some horror movie at Langa's one night while his mom was out. It was one of the first sleepovers they had, they had known each other for only a few months.
They finished the movie, screaming at the main character for how stupid he was the whole time, and as Langa was clicking off, going to search for something else to watch, Reki said it.
"I really love you, man." Langa's hand froze over the remote, as he turned to look at Reki. "You're just so fun to be around, ya know? You make me really happy."
Langa remembers wanting to cry. For two reasons. One, it was hard for him to believe that someone so perfect found something in him to like. Two, he so desperately wanted him to mean it in another way. He stayed up late that night, listening to Reki snore as he thought about what could have happened if Reki had meant it in the way he wished.
He feels himself about to cry now, too. Sitting on the toilet lid in Reki's bathroom as the other undoubtedly hurts his knees to patch up Langa's.
"Hey," Reki's voice is soft, like it always is when Langa is upset. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"
Langa quickly shakes his head, he'd rather die than let Reki think he hurt him.
They're both silent for a moment, until Reki takes his hands off Langa's leg and he looks up at him with all the love in the world. "Do you want to tell me what you're thinking about?"
Based on his tone, Langa knows Reki thinks it's about his dad. Usually, when Langa gets like this, it's because of some strange little thing that reminded him of things his father would do. He's almost tempted to say it is, but he doesn't think he could handle lying to Reki.
The thought of being honest scares him, but he doesn't have it in him to lie to him when he's looking at Langa like he's his everything.
"Who's the boy you like?" He almost sugar-coats it, says something like "If you were to like a boy," but they both know that day under the tree was Reki's way of coming out. Even if he brushed it off, and tried saying it wasn't, they both knew it was. They both knew that just as well as they both knew Reki was coming out because of a sudden crush on a boy.
Reki's mouth opens and closes a few times, his eyes wide. "Um, well," His fingers dig into the fabric of his pants, almost in panic. "He's pretty. And I like being around him."
It's a nice sentiment and all, but Langa needs a name. He needs to know what about him was wrong. "Do I know them?"
Reki stops for a moment, his shoulders dropping. He gives Langa a knowing look, smiling a little. "Why do you wanna know?"
Langa takes a deep breath. "Would you hate me if I said something?" It seems his tears got tired of staying by his eye, as one finally rolls down his cheek.
Reki reaches up, wiping the tear off with his thumb, but he keeps his hand on the side of Langa's face. "I could never hate you."
"Is it bad that I want you to like me?"
Reki's smile grows, his hand shifting a little to run his fingers through blue hair. "Why do you want that?" His voice is gentle, it may be more gentle than he's ever heard.
"I like you, Reki." He knows he shouldn't have said it, but he was leading up to it so much he knew Reki would have known anyway. "I like everything about you. I tried pretending I didn't, 'cause I didn't wanna ruin things, but I can't stop thinking about you." He realizes he's rambling, but now that he's started, he can't stop the words from coming out. "I want to be around you all the time, and every time our hands touch I feel like there are fireworks going off in my chest. I've never felt like this before, and I don't know how to handle it."
Reki brings another hand up to Langa's face, wiping another tear before rubbing his cheeks with his thumbs. "I understand." He pauses, tucking some of Langa's hair behind his ear. "Can I tell you a secret?"
Langa nods, because what else can he do? Reki raises up and moves a little closer, if he moved any closer they'd go cross-eyed. "I like you too."
Langa doesn't know what possesses him, but he's not going to complain. He shuts his eyes, and puts a hand on Reki's elbow, and he kisses him.
Reki's lips are chapped, and neither of them knows what they're doing, but it's everything Langa could have ever dreamed of. He's tempted to give up on everything else and kiss him for the rest of his life.
He might have if not for the gentle sound of the bathroom door creaking. They pull away so fast one could think they were never kissing in the first place, and look over to see two heads on Reki's level.
"Mama said dinner is ready," Chihiro pipes up. "Why were you two touching mouths?" Nanaka adds.
Reki laughs, panic-filled and loud. "We'll be out in a minute!" He gets up and runs to the door, holding it. "Don't tell mom, yeah?" He ushers them both out of the doorway, and shuts it before either of them can say anything else. Though they can both hear childish giggling on the other side.
Reki has his back against the door, almost like he's convinced it'll fly off the hinges if he doesn't keep it in place.
They look at each other, and it only takes a second before both of them are laughing. Langa is out of breath, and his face hurts, but he's never been happier.
"They are absolutely telling your mom." Langa says, and it only makes Reki laugh more.
"I know," He breathes, his chest heaving. "I came out to her already though, it's okay."
"You did?" Langa wasn't aware of that. Not that Reki has to tell him everything important, of course, he just thought that may be something he'd bring up.
He hums, posture relaxing a little. "After I told you. I brought it up, but she just laughed and said she already knew."
Langa chuckles a little, fidgeting slightly with the bandages around his knee to make standing easier. "Yeah, my mom knew too. I think it's some weird motherly instinct thing." Reki just nods.
Langa puts his hands back on his lap, and he looks over at Reki, expression dulling a little. "So, what does this mean?"
Reki tilts his head, not understanding. "For us. We know we like each other, we kissed. We're not friends still, right?" Sure, Langa doesn't know much about relationships, but he does know that's not exactly a normal thing for friends to do.
Reki goes a little red in the face, and all Langa can think about is how desperately he wants to see that bashful look on him more often. "I mean, usually when people do all that stuff, they're boyfriends, right?"
Langa stares at him, and almost tears up again. Why did he ever wait when he could've had this sooner? "You want to be my boyfriend?"
Reki straightens up a little, walking a little closer. "How could I not?"
Langa feels himself smile, he can only hope his face conveys how happy he is. He nods once, staring at the floor as the sentence replays over and over in his mind. "Boyfriends." He repeats, like maybe if he says it out loud, he'll wrap his head around it.
Reki laughs a little, coming over and ruffling his hair. "C'mon, my mom will be confused if we stay in here much longer." Langa looks up at him, and before he can think, he stands, and gives Reki another quick kiss.
"Alright."